Jul 8, 2023
Robert: Good Morning, darling
Cora: Good Morning my love
Mary: You guys are sound like robots! Spice it up a bit!
Rosamund: *bursts through the doors breaking the hinges* MORNING MOTHERF*CKERS
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Robert: Good Morning, darling
Cora: Good Morning my love
Mary: You guys are sound like robots! Spice it up a bit!
Rosamund: *bursts through the doors breaking the hinges* MORNING MOTHERF*CKERS
Violet: [Pointing at the broken coffee machine.] So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Cora: ...I did. I broke it.
Violet: No. No you didn't. Rosamund?
Rosamund: Don't look at me. Look at Robert.
Robert: What?! I didn't break it.
Rosamund: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Rosamund: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Rosamund: Suspicious.
Robert: No it's not!
Mary: If it matters, probably not, but Edith was the last one to use it.
Edith: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Mary: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Edith: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Mary!
Cora: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Mama
Violet: No! Who broke it!?
Rosamund: Mama...Tom's been awfully quiet.
Tom: REALLY?!
[Everyone starts arguing.]
Violet: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Robert: [Cradles Cora’s face lovingly]
Cora, with heart eyes: hey
Robert: I spilled superglue on my hands
Rosamund: We need to get through this locked door. Robert, give me your credit card.
Robert: Here.
Rosamund, pocketing it: Thanks. Cora, break down the door.
Cora & Robert: *Just smile at each other*
Rosamund: Ew disgusting, get a room or something. Definitely didn’t want to see it. Ew. Perverts. Ew.
Robert: Many people meeting Rosamund for the first time formed three impressions
Cora: That she was English
Marmaduke: That she was intelligent
Delilah: And That she was gayer then a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide
Cora: While I am gone, Robert you are in charge
Robert: YES!
Cora: *Whispers to Rosamund* You are secretly in charge
Rosamund: I know
Rosamund: Robert, when I get murdered please make sure it’s an unsolved case
Robert: What?
Rosamund: I want to be on buzzfeed unsolved
Cora: Can we go back to the bit where she said “WHEN I get murdered”