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Sauron, pissing himself laughing atop the battlements of Angband, watching Ungoliant trying to eat some poor unfortunate bastard on the other side of the moat: Look at that! Fucking idiot.
Sauron: [laughing]
Sauron: [chuckling, wiping eyes]
Sauron, belatedly, watching Gothmog and the balrogs booking it across the bridge to rescue Morgoth: Wait, hold on, that's my idiot!
Witch King: i'm so sorry about the torture you faced at the hands of Melkor.
Sauron, sniffling: I miss when he'd wear his sharp boots and step on me for hours at a time...
Witch King: Um?
Sauron, wiping his tears away: And when he'd string me up for days on end... I miss him so much.
Witch King: Master, are you alright?
Sauron, sobbing: I used to call him Master.
Celebrimbor: “that was horrible! Your goal is horrible! [gasp] You’re horrible! You’re an irredeemable monster y-“
Annatar (Sauron): “oh, oh, what took you so long IDIOT?!”
Oropher giving a pep talk : when you had a bad day, give up, go home, and sleep. Fuck it. Try again tomorrow, not every bad day can become a good day, some days are fucked and cannot be unfucked. When you have a day that is fucked beyond repair, that is the universe speaking to you, sending you a messege,listen to the universe, go home. Save your energy. Tomorrow is another day, for now just fucking chill
Elrond : ...
Gil Galad : ...
Thranduil : ...
The entire army ready for the final battle in dagorlad :....
Sauron :....
Gil Galad : BITCH!?-
Sauron and Morgoth: *Torture Maedhros for 30 years*
Maedhros: *Does not break, does not give them what they want*
Elrond: *Less than a second of puppy eyes* Please?
Maedhros: Fuck *Hands over Simarils* *Hands over all mortal possessions* *Hands over soul* *Hands over relatively ok childhood*
Morgoth: *Shocked pikachu face*
Sauron: WRITE THAT DOWN, WRITE THAT DOWN!
Beren: Can I ask you for a favor?
Finrod: I would literally die for you, but continue.
Beren: We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.
Feanor: and what do you say if someone comes up to you and says "I'm a friend of your father's and was sent to pick you up"?
Ambarussa: we say "you're lying our father doesn't have any friends"!
Feanor:
Someone: So, what’s it like being a part of the Silmarillion community? Do you have long interesting conversations about lore all day!
Me: Yes, yes, mhm, definitely
Me, internally: My entire conscious life has been taken over by dead gay elves
