We're each our own individuals
The individuals assigned to our lives right now are doing the best that they can do. Not the best that we would like them to do. Coworkers, friends, family - you name it. They are all doing their best. But in the end, no matter how much we love them, what they're doing just may not be for us. I know this is frustrating. But there is nothing we can do to change the actions and the behaviors of another individual. This does hurt.
From early on in our lives, we crave connection. Those who happen to be in our lives just may not be capable of providing us with the care and compassion that we need. In truth, they may not even be able to provide themselves with said care and compassion. They can lead us down a path of abandoning ourselves. We may then spend a lifetime searching for ourselves in others. Along the way we may find bits and pieces, but never the full picture. The full narrative of who we are as individuals.
We have to be willing to leave them to it. We aren’t leaving anyone behind, we have ourselves. Not everything can be held onto. Things run their course in our lives and we move on to other things. It’s natural. With that, we have to learn to trust in ourselves again. Only we can know our needs. Only we can honor those needs. Having grown accustomed to neglecting myself for the benefit of others, I can tell you just how difficult this is. But giving yourself up to be accepted by others is not the way.
Just as those others must be allowed to do whatever it is they are doing, you have both the freedom and the right to do the same. You are your own unique self. You are human. If you are worried about hurting someone else, don’t be. Your worrying shows that you do have a heart. You do have the ability and the capacity to show compassion. But with certain individuals, this must have its limit. You must trust in yourself and in your skills to shield yourself from those you are no longer - or were never - in alignment with. If you feel as if your energy is being drained, it is. Be a caregiver to yourself and move on.
