#ineffable exes

[stitched-up-teddy-bear]

The Coffee Theory

This theory is by the fantastic @jumbledstars on TikTok

This Theory is for everyone who felt betrayed or hurt by Aziraphale in the season 2 finale or just doesn’t trust The Metatron!!!

The theory goes that the coffee The Metatron gives Aziraphale made him "switch side"

When Metatron invited Aziraphale for a chat, Aziraphale made it clear that he does not wish to follow him until he took a sip from the coffee. Metatron quote on quote forces Aziraphale to drink it rather than offering it casually. After the first sip, Aziraphale suddenly agreed to chat with him. At that moment, Metatron bitterly glanced back at Crowley, catching his attention.

In the coffee shop, Metatron reveals his plan to make Aziraphale the new supreme archangel and commander of the heavenly host, which surprises Aziraphale as he wonders where he would get his coffee. This struck me as odd because we never saw him drink coffee in the series until now.

As Aziraphale walks home, his expression appears more disoriented than when he's in the bookshop, suggesting the coffee may be affecting his brain.

Aziraphale excitedly tells Crowley about the "good news," saying that Crowley can finally be an angel again. However, Crowley disagrees, seeing heaven as equally bad as hell.

Aziraphale comments, "Of course you would disagree with hell, you're the bad guys, but heaven..." This also strikes me as odd because Aziraphale doesn't usually talk about hell or demons in that manner anymore. The last time was during the car ride in season one before they crashed into Anathema.

Furthermore, Aziraphale wouldn't be motivated enough to make a change in heaven, as he and Crowley have been on Team Earth for a while now and seem content with it. Crowley notices this and tells Aziraphale, "We're better than that. YOU'RE better than that!" He senses that something is wrong with Aziraphale or at least suspects it.

After Crowley's confession and (let’s be honest) unexpected kiss (which left Aziraphale confused and regretful), Metatron returns to the bookshop, asking him if he's ready to go, contradicting what he said just 8 minutes ago about giving Aziraphale all the time he needs to make a choice. It's as if Metatron already knows what Aziraphale will choose.

I think Crowley's confession or kiss has momentarily snapped Aziraphale back to reality, as he shows genuine concern for his bookshop and is reluctant to leave. Although Metatron assures him that Muriel will look after it, Aziraphale still appears hesitant and confused.

When asked if he needs to bring something, Aziraphale seems lost and unsure of what to do. However, he eventually regains his composure and follows Metatron with a smile.

Thank you for reading! This theory came from @jumbledstars on TikTok and it’s way too good to ignore! Link to the original theory below!!!

Had to post here because twitter doesnt let me post longer videos 💀 #Goodomens2 #goodomensspoilers #gos2spoilers

[athenashaw]

Everyone online saying that gos2 stole the ending of OFMD.

Which is hilarious.

But I was also thinking -- OFMD didn't leave me as devestated. True, it wasn't a long awaited second season and all that, but then it hit me.

At the end of our flag means death, Stede has left for his family, but he's realised the error. He's returning to ed. Ed isn't in a great way sure, but there's hope for a reunion.

At the end of GOs2, Aziraphale is leaving. He's Stede abandoning Ed at the docks. And while we got to see Stede go back and its highly unlikely that Neil's just going to leave Aziraphale in heaven and that's that, we need to trust blindly. Hope blindly and (pardon the pun) have faith that it'll work out.

That's why its so devastating. Because there is no visible promise of reconciliation.

Only hope for one.

[masterofkoschei]

I’m upset that no one else has done this (fell au)

You can tell they’re evil bc azzy has a ponytail and Crowley has piercings.

They hate each other (gayly)

[mab1905]

GOOD OMENS SPOILERS AHEAD !!!!!

I made another playlist ehehe

Crowley's Breakup Mix

I made a list of all the songs and the most important lyrics:

Denial

“It’s A Hard Life” – Queen I don't want my freedom / There's no reason for living with a broken heart / It's a hard life / To be true lovers together / To love and live forever in each others hearts / It's a long hard fight / To learn to care for each other “Cool About It” – Boygenius  But we don't have to talk about it / I can walk you home and practice method acting / I'll pretend being with you doesn't feel like drowning / Telling you it's nice to see how good you're doing / Even though we know it isn't true “Moon Song” – Phoebe Bridgers You are sick, and you're married / And you might be dying / But you're holding me like water in your hands / When you saw the dead little bird, you started crying / But you know the killer doesn't understand “I Want Someone Badly” – Jeff Buckley  Now I want someone badly / To burn in here with me / Better listen baby / 'Cause I cry all over madly / Don't do anything to it with me / Ooh I wanna know / Am I sure that I have your love / I want know / If you're leaving just make sure it's right

Anger

“Too Much Love Will Kill You” – Queen I'm just the pieces of the man I used to be / Too many bitter tears are raining down on me / I'm far away from home and I've been facing this alone / For much too long / Torn between the lover and the love you leave behind / You're headed for disaster, 'cause you never read the signs / Too much love will kill you every time “Drink” – Destroy Boys Heavens send someone down / I'm about to turn this confession to a smoke cloud / Who put me here it's hard to say / Nails bleed as I claw out of the grave / She understands me like you did / She really loves me / I'm a saint living in sin / She really loathes me / She really loves me “Vampire Empire” – Big Thief I see you there rejecting all your earthly power / Protecting and dissecting 'til you've emptied every hour / I wanted to be your woman, I wanted to be your man / I wanted to be the one that you could understand / I walked into your dagger for the last time in a row / It's like trying to start a fire with matches in the snow / Well, you can't seem to hold me here, you can't seem to let me go / You wanna be with me, you wanna be with him “Letter To An Old Poet” – Boygenius You think you're a good person / Because you won't punch me in the stomach / And I love you / I don't know why / I just do / You don't know me / I wanna be happy / I'm ready / To walk into my room without looking for you / I'll go up to the top of our building / And remember my dog when I see the full moon / I can't feel it yet / But I am waiting “Salt In The Wound” – Boygenius You put salt in the wound / And a kiss on my cheek / You butter me up / And you sit down to eat / You add insult to injury / You say you believe in me / But you haven't decided / About taking or leaving me / Neck full of mockingbirds / All calling your name / I tried to sing it all back / Like I heard it, it don't sound the same / I'm gnashing my teeth / Like a child of Cain “Francesca” – Hozier Do you think I'd give up / That this might've shook the love from me / Or that I was on the brink / How could you think darling I'd scare so easily? / Now that it's done / There's not one thing that I would change / My life was a storm / Since I was born / How could I fear any hurricane? / If someone asked me at the end / I'll tell them put me back in it / Darling, I would do it again

Bargaining

“Lover, You Should've Come Over” – Jeff Buckley Broken down and hungry for your love with no way to feed it / Where are you tonight, child you know how much I need it / Too young to hold on and too old to just break free and run / So I'll wait for you and I'll burn / Will I ever see your sweet return / Oh will I ever learn / Oh lover, you should've come over / 'Cause it's not too late “Dreamers Ball” – Queen Oh, take me, take me, take me / To the dreamer's ball / I'll be right on time and I'll dress so fine / You're gonna love me when you see me / I won't have to worry / You make my life worthwhile / With the slightest smile / Or destroy me with a barely perceptible whisper / Gently take me remember I'll be dreaming of my baby “Shrike” – Hozier I couldn't utter my love when it counted / Ah, but I'm singing like a bird 'bout it now / And I couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted / I had no idea on what ground I was founded / All of that goodness is going with you now / Then when I met you, my virtues uncounted “Silver Springs” – Fleetwood Mac Time cast its spell on you, but you won't forget me / I know I could have loved you, but you would not let me / I'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice will haunt you / You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loved you

Depression

“From Eden” – Hozier Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago / Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword / Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know / I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door “Your Best American Girl” – Mitski You're the sun, you've never seen the night / But you hear its song from the morning birds / Well, I'm not the moon, I'm not even a star / But awake at night I'll be singing to the birds “How I get Myself Killed” – Indigo De Souza Did you say anything on the night of my first hit / On the night of my first kiss / On the night of my first runaway / Something must be up, I have never felt so dumb / I have never gone so numb / I have never been so late before / This is probably how I get myself killed “Me And My Dog” – Boygenius I wanna be emaciated / I wanna hear one song without thinking of you / I wish I was on a spaceship / Just me and my dog and an impossible view / I dream about it / And I wake up falling “Lilac Wine” – Nina Simone When I think more than I want to think / Do things I never should do / I drink much more that I ought to drink / Because it brings me back you… / Lilac wine is sweet and heady, like my love / Lilac wine, I feel unsteady, like my love / Listen to me... I cannot see clearly / Isn't that he coming to me nearly here? “Promise” – Laufey I made a promise / To distance myself / Took a flight, through aurora skies / It hurts to be something / It's worse to be nothing with you “Not Strong Enough” – Boygenius I don't know why I am / The way I am / Not strong enough to be your man / I tried, I can't / Stop staring at the ceiling fan and / Spinning out about things that haven't happened / Always an angel, never a god / I don't know why I am the way I am / There's something in the static / I think I've been having revelations / Coming to in the front seat, nearly empty / Skip the exit to our old street and go home

Acceptance

 “Unknown/Nth” – Hozier You know the distance never made a difference to me / I swam a lake of fire, I'd have walked across the floor of any sea / Ignored the vastness between all that can be seen / And all that we believe / So I thought you were like an angel to me “Waiting Room” – Phoebe Bridgers And I can wish all I want, but it won't bring us together / Plus I know whatever happens to me / I know it's for the better / I want to make you drive all night just because I said maybe you should come over / I want to make you fall in love as hard as my poor parents teenage daughter / She'll be the best you ever had if you let her / I know it's for the better… “Night Shift” – Lucy Dacus Am I a masochist, resisting urges to punch you in the teeth, call you a bitch and leave? / Why did I come here? To sit and watch you stare at your feet? / What was the plan? Absolve your guilt and shake hands? / I feel no need to forgive but I might as well / But let me kiss your lips so I know how it felt / Pay for my coffee and leave before the sun goes down / Walk for hours in the dark feeling all hell / Don't hold your breath, forget you ever saw me at my best / You don't deserve what you don't respect / Don't deserve what you say you love and then neglect / Now bite your tongue, it's too dangerous to fall so young / Take back what you said / Can't lose what you never had “I Guess” – Mitski I guess, I guess / I guess this is the end / I'll have to learn / To be somebody else / It's been you and me / Since before I was me / Without you I don't yet know / Quite how to live

[tschulijulesjulie]

it might be a bit early for this (but my prime coping mechanism is humour) - so do we now call Aziraphale/Crowley 'Ineffable Ex-husbands'?

[athenashaw]

Ok first off: I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS. ITS NOT REAL. THIS IS ME DEALING WITH THE DEAD DOVE OF A SEASON

But I can't help hoping. It's stupid. But I hope that tomorrow they'll say "April Fools" and release a 7th episode. Where everything is ok. As Aziraphale said, the Almighty likes her 7's

It's not real. I know it's not real. But oh my god - seriously? If that's what Neil calls quiet gentle and romantic…

[athenashaw]

No one left to shelter him

Alt. Version

[ao3cassandraic]

Been playing this on repeat.

No reason.

No reason at all. *sob*