#institutionalization mention

[psychotic-system-culture-is]

warning: mentions/talk of sanism

psychotic system culture is being almost 99% positive we experience psychosis (and have a disorder on the schizospectrum!) but are absolutely scared to be public and open about it in any space (specifically plural spaces sometimes) as people can be so so so sanist about it :( also tacking on a seeking treatment in any capacity because we’re terrified that they’d see our sysmates as things to get rid of and or further proof that we are really really insane and deserve to be institutionalized for it

<-w->

[crtter]

Not to derail that last post, but it’s also the same thing with mental illness. Facebook boomers are always like “ohh back in MY DAY no one had those newfangled ‘mental illnesses’ because Big Pharma wasn’t a thing and because we were so much more Disciplined unlike those lazy millennials! :)”

It’s like bro people always have been mentally ill, they were just thrown in institutions and never spoken of again or “treated” with something that eventually killed or completely incapacitated them. My grandma had what we would call today “severe anxiety and panic attacks” in the 50s but they called it “hysteria” and “treated” her with electroshock therapy. And she was lucky it only worsened her previously existing heart condition and she got to live until her late 70s instead of downright killing her right there and then.

[thepoisonroom]

something positive: also on the topic of animals, my cat plays fetch and is very good at it, while my dog likes to be held in my arms like a baby.

my drowsy thought is that you have a special little family and you have powerfully nurturing but no-nonsense energy and talking to you always makes me feel like you've taken me under your wing and nothing can touch me

my other drowsy thought is that my favorite poem is about a cat and sort of about god and how loving living creatures makes us venerate life and the beauty of the world so here it is it's called wild gratitude :

[gostaks]

it’s been almost two years since I got out of an institution and like goddamn there are still so many things that I used to take for granted that just seem so wonderful now like holy shit I can open doors (I have keys for things! I have access to keys for things! I can go places without having to find someone and ask them to open the door and then watch me while I’m inside!), I can go outside (without anyone watching me! or even having to make a plan for where I’ll be! I could get on a bus and go to canada and it wouldn’t be against the rules because why the fuck not!) I have three jars of peanut butter and two frying pans in my room (who’s going to stop me? no one! it’s my room and I can do what I want!) I could climb out a window and get ramen! I could buy a chair! or build one! I have unrestricted access to knives, scissors, fire, and power tools! I can keep shampoo in my shower and not get in trouble for it at least once a week! my therapist has no idea what I do in my free time! no one watches me sleep! I don’t have to run back and forth between places so I can be under supervision at all times because no one! supervises! me! 

[crowslunasidhe]

So I have come to the conclusion that I have Dissociative Identity Disorder.

I know I have alters. I know they’re there. They have taken over before. Generally in time of severe anxiety or times when I’m neglecting self care such as avoiding taking my psych meds. I know when they first developed. I know which ones are new and which ones have been there since the beginning. I even know what triggered it or at least have an idea.

And no, I will not go to my psychiatrist to try and get an official diagnosis because I have an absolute and utter fear of being institutionalized. 

[gemkineticaa]

😞 MAKE 👏 ME 👏 CRY 👏 (Gothamscapedknight)

Skylar always had trouble sleeping through the night. Even as a child, her circadian rhythm was not in step with the rest of the world, preferring the calm of night to the rush and bustle of day. On summer nights, she would lay awake with her bedroom door open, to let the cool air in, and she would listen.

She would listen to the hum of the air conditioner, and the television a few doors down in her parent's room. She heard fireworks, cicadas, and summer rains from her window. But mostly, she listened to the conversations her parents would have.

As a much younger child, she didn't often understand what they were saying; words like "burden," or "institutionalized." But occasionally she could piece it together, especially when they were coupled with "end up like her father" and "worthless."

Over the years, Skylar listened less. She preferred tuning things out with music or books, or even just covering her head with a pillow a trying to pretend it didn't hurt.

To this day, she can't walk into a conversation without feeling sick to her stomach.

[tijuanabiblestudies]

ok let’s see if i can get my thoughts in order here because i think this needs saying

fiction is fiction and reality is reality

yes, OBVIOUSLY they both influence each other

but they remain Two Different Things

i had trouble distinguishing between stuff-my-brain-spat-out and reality when i was a small child (e.g. making stuff up and talking about it like it was true and then being very confused when i was told that’s what “lying” is) because that’s a thing small children do sometimes

i ALSO had/have trouble distinguishing between stuff-my-brain-spat-out and reality when i’m in the midst of a psychotic episode, because that’s a thing people having psychotic episodes do sometimes. it’s an extremely scary experience and i don’t want to talk about it in detail. it got me locked up in a hospital ward once. next bullet point

i have taken great comfort in Escapism--in the form of consuming fictional media, and of concocting my own fantasy worlds to play in--pretty much since i taught myself to read at age 3 or thereabouts

is this 100% healthy? maybe not. but that’s MY issue to deal with

REGARDLESS, the fact remains that i take a lot of comfort and pleasure and even sometimes healing in fictional works that contain Fucked-Up Shit

you know what’s really comforting about them? i know they can’t hurt me. because i know. beyond the shadow of a doubt. that they are not real

and if you think that means i condone whatever kind of Fucked-Up Shit in reality, or that i am likely to commit such acts in reality, or if you think it makes me a Bad Person in some nebulous thoughtcrimey way....

kindly go and fuck yourself

jonas out

[lichfucker]

i know u love sagas of sundry dread, but do like madness as well? i really liked dread but couldn't get past the first ep of madness for some reason :/

I liked madness! I prefer dread by far, but I did like madness. there were a lot of issues with madness that weren’t there with dread and I think a lot of that has to do with the sos team being overly ambitious, if that makes sense? they got more episodes than dread did but they still tried to do too much, I think.

it also helps that dread had the ittd stream as a prequel, so by the time sagas actually started we already knew the characters, their relationships, and the setting, and we had a pretty good idea who / what the main challenge would be. madness had to do a lot more work to get us to a similar level of understanding, and I think one area where it kind of stumbled was not being clear at all how much time passed between the prologues and the rest of it. like fenly’s prologue was the same day, I think emmett’s was like the day before, but then abigail’s was like 2 years ago??? and that wasn’t made clear until we were multiple episodes deep.

I dunno. the second episode (when they all actually start playing together) is better than the prologue, but I’ll be honest, a lot of the episodes sort of muddled together in my brain. I have a hard time separating what happened in each episode / getting the chronology right. there were a lot of times where they ended up somewhere doing something and I personally couldn’t track how we’d gotten there and why.

(madness is also... incredibly heterosexual. like, okay, the relationships on their own are pretty good and I was surprised by how supportive of them I ended up being, but it’s a very very different vibe than dread.)

I think one of the things that made dread so successful was that, even setting the ittd stream aside, all these characters already knew each other, and their dynamics were well-established before the cameras ever turned on. madness, because it was a group of strangers, had to take a lot more time for everyone to kind of suss out their characters both individually and in relation to everyone else... the dread team got to do that offscreen. you know how it usually takes a couple sessions for a new adventuring party to figure out how to work together, and then by the end of the campaign they’re a well-oiled machine? the entirety of madness was that new-party phase, and I definitely think being introduced to the dread crew for the first time all together versus being introduced to the madness crew for the first time as individuals played a big role in that-- especially considering that we as the audience had to learn a very new cast of characters (and they had to learn each other!) at the same time as following a much more complex plot.

I liked madness. I liked the characters a lot, and it’s always a delight to watch ivan get better and better (esp since I’ve been around since the no survivors days... howfarwevecome.mp3). if you can stomach straight ppl and constant unnecessary jump-cuts to 3 frames of the characters in straightjackets, I’d say it’s worth giving madness another shot. maybe you’ll have an easier time following the plot than I did. but I don’t think anybody’ll blame you for not bothering.

I don’t know what they’re gonna do for season 3, but I hope it’s... more like dread than madness. like I said, I think most of the problems I had with madness (saying as little as I can so as not to spoil anything) stem from the moment in the writing process where somebody said “more complicated = better.”