(2 weeks after the mercury poisoning incident)
Konata (walking into the classroom with a shit-eating grin): “What’s up, nerds? Bet you thought I was dead.”
Kagami (arms crossed): “I hoped you had learned a lesson. But considering that smug look, I see I was wrong.”
Miyuki (concerned): “Konata, are you truly feeling better? You were in critical condition…”
Konata (shrugging): “Better than ever! My body has adapted to the philosophik mercury. I think I’m ascending to the next stage of alchemic evolution.”
Kagami: “You poisoned yourself.”
Konata: “Purified myself.”
Kagami: “The doctors literally said you were ‘the most foolish patient they’ve ever treated.’”
Tsukasa (tilting her head): “But it’s so cool that you’re alive, Kona-chan!”
Konata (nodding sagely): “Right? That means the experiment was a success. My humors have realigned.”
Kagami: “STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR HUMORS.”
Konata: “I bet my blood is so full of secret wisdom right now. I just need to unlock it.”
Miyuki (alarmed): “Please do not attempt to unlock anything in your bloodstream.”
Kagami: “She’s going to. She’s absolutely going to.”