#ipa censor

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I wonder if they wrote that because they know the fandom likes ʃɪtpoʊsts and thought we would be able to appreciate it in canon?

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Hindsight’s a B....

Miraculous Hero Team, looking back:

Hawk Moth retired after Style Queen, but came back because of Queen Bee...

So you mean to say this could’ve been over before Mayura?

Thanks a lot, Queen bɪt͡ʃ!

OMG, let it go! That was years ago!!!

EXACTLY!

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Marinette: “Crap! My transformation ran out, but I need to get back in there! I need a disguise...” *looks at LB costume* “Yeah, that’ll work!“

Tikki: “—!!!” *attempts to speak in cookie*

Chat Noir: “Marinette!?”

Marinette: “NO—!?”

Nino: “... Is that Marinette? Why’s she—”

Alya: “Marinette wutthfʌk are you doing out in the field!? You’re not super-proof! Get your æs the fʌk out of there before I haul it for you! You know I will! I’m not giving it back, either!”

Marinette: “Why didn’t it work?”

Tikki: ... *cough* “That’s not how that works.... Sorry?”

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An Adrienette fic… or would it be AdrieNoire?

So Adrien loses his miraculous and it falls into Marinette’s hands. He can get it back, easy~ Well, he could’ve got it back—except Plagg is a little ʃɪt!

So the little pest tells Marinette not to let that ring out of her sight under any circumstances! She should be responsible and get them to the guardian! (Knowing full well Fu won’t be home because he’ll be “tutoring” Adrien that day.) Oh, well~! Looks like they’ll have to come back tomorrow. Such a shame, looks like Chat won’t be making movie night... but that does leave them with a free night! They should totally take some kwami-princess bonding time!

He’s going to do her a favor! He’s going to teach her to flirt like Chat Noir! Who might she have a crush on? Adrien!? He would never have guessed…. Okay, target acquired! Yes, we can totally do this! Chat Noir does it all the time~ (What is that supposed to mean!?) It’ll be just him, her, and black leather armour. There’s no way Adrien could know it’s Marinette, so if she fails this, she doesn’t have to worry about ruining her reputation. Right, let’s go!

So Cat Noire sets off in the middle of the night to crash Adrien’s angstfest. He kind of wishes it was about his secret identity, because the alternative (his current reality) is being subject to Marinette’s Chat impression—and the thing is, she does a better Chat impression than he does. So there they are, ring taunting him, and she’s decked out in a cute yet decidedly more badass version of his black leather catsuit, throwing flirts he can’t dodge, and he’s becoming a hot and hotter mess every second, kind of considering the possible consequences of him, Adrien the civilian, having a fling with a superhero, if it’s kind of narcissistic, and if he’d ever be able to look Marinette in the eye again after. Also, Plagg is starting a no-cheese diet.

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MariChat May; ʃɪtpost Edition

Prompt #6 - You carried me bridal-style in one akuma attack and now Paris ships us together.

Marinette, browsing the internet: Why do people always ship me with this boy!?

I dOn’t KnOW, Marinette! Why do you?

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If this show wasn’t marketed towards tweens+, there would’ve been so many Queen B(ɪt͡ʃ) jokes, ain’t nobody would’ve missed Chloe’s theme.

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Fandom: *posts essays of valid concerns with the writing*

Myself: *interrupts with a ʃɪtpost*

I'm done. Carry on~

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Adrien on a Diet Trope, except Gabriel disapproves.

Adrien starts a diet due to peer pressure, because all the models do it. When Gabriel finds out, he loses his ʃɪt, sits him down, and orders a five-course meal of nothing but cheese—especially Camembert, because that seems to be his favourite. Gabriel refuses to leave or even blink until he’s done. Adrien regrets everything.