#iritated

[booksandmusicnothingless]

I'm so passed right now and I don't even know why. I hate being irritated for no reason but it's always such a overwhelming feeling so I can't pretend it's nothing. Also, I can't be just random. I don't know why I so sure. It's the clearest but also the most confusing and messed up feeling I have at the moment.

[eveisnep]

If you want to know what happened today.... ouhhhhhhh. anyways yeah. this is what I meant by ending my chapter. I give no fucks about her security anymore, and i’m done with it all. So as you read and you’ve seen the past of everything compiled together. yeah.... yeahhh... anyways... I just got back home from the bay.... kashfkjdhsa.... shiet.

Okay... okay.... so.. what happened...  ouhhhhhhhhhhhhhh girlllllllllll. lul

What I was supposed to do was to have lunch with london. I don't know if I told you what happened during the break up. But she cheated on me, told me what she did the same week after we all saw her. Along with telling me the day after I ask her to marry me (jokingly but kinda serious) She left without saying anything. Which I see a picture of her in her undergarments, taken by a person that was looking at her. One week after she vanishes.

So two promises she made me promise during the relationship.

If I ever leave don't leave without saying anything. Two who ever breaks up has to write a five page letter stating why.

Prior to this, during our break that one time. She got me with the line. Well you didn't write the paper so we weren't not together... and yeah... anyways kinda not important.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(today) This time it's been a year. I finally finish the letters because I wrote them as my own type of comfort. She tried to comfort me, but she literally said.

This isn't comfort for you and i'm sorry. I just left because it was easier for me. I thought it was easier for the both of us.... it wasn't either.

And then I tell her sometime in march to leave me alone once and for all because I was just so confused about what she wanted because she had feelings for me.March 2015 I asked if she would still wana make love.This is the time where we try and be friends but yeah...../

She hesitated, and then said that I couldn't ask her in the state that she's in. LIKE BISH YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP YOU SUPPOSED TO SAY NO AUTOMATIC. SWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRVE.

Then I go to spring fling and I was thinking..... shiet I coulda talked to hella people and had fun and yadda yadda. But I didn't because I didn't know if she wanted the relationship etc.

So I tell her to leave me alone.

Okay now fast forward to december 2015. I put the letter under the mat, with a jacket she wanted on her door. I message her something like. I'm finally done, and I have no regrets. I wrote the five page letter and i'm leaving it at that. kinda thing.

She replies saying that she moved and she still wants the letters. She can't go get them herself.. idk why....

So I ask if she wants me to get them. I agree and go back to the bay two days later to pick up the letters.

Anyways now fast forward to today. We were supposed to have lunch, then she says that she got off at 5 30 and then anytime after.

So i'm just spending time with Jason and Roselle and all. And I don't know what or when she wants to go grab din. I tell her i'llbe running late probably. And I ask what she wants.

She questions denny's as an answer. I telll her that I might not be able to pick her up until later and that if she doesn't want to have dinner it's cool I understand.. I tell her that I'll be leaving soon adn I could swoop her.... still no reply. Then as roselle is like wtf why isn't she replying?

She asks if I want to watch a movie with her because her boothang watched it already and her friends did too... So I call london for the second time this time with my actual number and tell her yo. I do'nt know but if you want dinner tell me, i'm going to hang out with my sister more...

We watch the movie. Then I still have no reply. So I say goodnight and goodbye. And I delete all information of her from my phone.

That's what happened.

Then I think. Well it's not the exact type of comfort I wanted. But my friend was telling me that I made an effort and that she chose what her actions were tonight.

So I decided. Fuck it. I'm done. I spent way too much time and everything for no reason. So i'm going to put the letters in some box, and then leave all of this behind me. Just move forward with life and go on.

[vitaliaz]

Iritated af rn people are getting on my last nerve I might just snap

[junkocrappywriting]

Vexing

The word of something you want to avoid but keep on popping up. Sometimes you have to face even though its tiring

[guajiro-oriental]

I love my people but sometimes they really blow me -_-

[lunachild-forever]

I am paying phone bills and instagram decides not to refresh?! Fucked you too!!

[babaengpurokwento-blog]

Nobody said it was easy... -period

[250somethingpoundlady]

Why do people feel the need to add if you only lost a little more you'd be so *inserts snarky comment here*

This morning at work I was discussing my weightloss with the janitor and I told him I had lost 25 pounds and he was like wow. That's a lot. If you lose about 25 more pounds your husband will be so proud of you. Like why the hell do you think my husband isn't proud of me now? He is freaking so proud of me. This is the first time in my life I have gone after this with this much passion and he is so happy for me. It just really irks me that people feel the need to comment on how my husband feels about me. Like you have no idea. My husband loved me and was proud of me when I weighed 260 damn pounds and he will love me and be proud of me when I weigh 160 pounds.