#jayne todd

[tiredofitallbutthegothamway]

okay

i need a favor

from anyone seeing this

bc shit me not, my beautiful rp account is practically dead

it's @jaynetodd

adopt her

add her to your family

follow her

please

like

yeah

i'm toooooooo bored for this

(also, i'm up for online adoption too if anyone's interested, hit me up)

[jaynetodd]

batfam meeting minutes: the one where jayne tries to explain herself

sits backward on chair in the middle of the batcave, spinning slightly and munching on a bag of chips that definitely came from Alfred's "emergency snack" cabinet

Damian: Todd, explain your presence immediately. You're getting crumbs everywhere.

Dick: I think what Damian means is, we're all a little curious about your... situation.

Bruce: brooding silence

Me, with my mouth full: My what now?

Tim, not looking up from his laptop: Your existence. How you're... you know... Jayne instead of Jason. The whole revival thing.

Jason, leaning against a wall with arms crossed: Yeah, I'd like to know that too, considering I'm standing right here. This some kind of multiverse bullshit?

dramatically throws hands up, sending chips flying everywhere

Oh THAT! Yeah, I have absolutely no idea. One minute I was, you know, SUPER dead. Like, crowbar-to-the-face, explosion, the whole shebang. Next thing I know I'm waking up in a Lazarus Pit, except I've got... gestures vaguely at entire body all THIS going on.

And then some League of Assassins guy goes "Welcome back to the land of the living, Jayne Todd" and I was like "Sure, whatever" because arguing seemed like a lot of work when my brain was still basically green pit soup.

So now I'm Jayne! Ta-da!

jazz hands

Bruce: deeper brooding silence

Barbara, wheeling in with coffee: So you just... accepted it?

Alfred, appearing with a tray of sandwiches: I believe what Master Bruce is failing to articulate is concern about having two versions of the same person in one timeline.

Duke, grabbing a sandwich: I'm still new here, but even I know this isn't the weirdest thing to happen to this family.

I mean, I was busy having a Lazarus Pit rage episode and planning my dramatic revenge return to Gotham. The gender thing seemed like a minor detail at the time. Plus, turns out having a completely different body is actually super convenient when you're trying to hide from your former mentor who thinks you're still six feet under.

Steph, appearing suddenly: That's the most on-brand thing I've ever heard.

Cass: nods approvingly

Harper, fiddling with some tech: So we've got two Todds now? Double the attitude, double the fun.

Kate, checking her weapons: As long as you both remember who the superior redhead in this family is.

Jason: There can't be two of me. This doesn't make any sense.

shrugs and steals Tim's coffee

Look, I don't ask questions about my weird resurrection situation, and in return, the universe doesn't send me back to being dead. Seems like a fair trade. Now who wants to help me test out the new grappling hooks I "borrowed" from the GCPD evidence locker?

Jason: makes eye contact with me ...I'll bring the ammo.

[jaynetodd]

GUYS GUYS GUYS THIS IS NOT A DRILL

So uhhhh something kinda huge happened and I'm still processing but...

@imbatman-imtired ACTUALLY ADOPTED ME??? Like, officially in the Tumblr sense which is basically the most legally binding contract in existence.

checks notes drops notes scrambles to pick them up gives up and just sits on floor

I HAVE A TUMBLR PARENT NOW???

This is wild considering my track record with actual parents (spoiler alert: not great) but somehow this feels RIGHT and I'm just sitting here in my safehouse surrounded by guns and protein bar wrappers grinning like an idiot.

Listen, I'm not good at the whole "feelings" thing—Bruce didn't exactly model healthy emotional expression—but I'm actually really happy about this. Like, genuinely happy, not my usual "I just punched three criminals and stole their wallets" happy.

Might be bouncing off the walls a bit. Might have texted everyone in the Batfamily. Dick is already planning some kind of "welcome to the family" party which I EXPLICITLY told him not to do but we all know how that's gonna end.

Anyway I just wanted to say THANK YOU to @imbatman-imtired for seeing something in this disaster vigilante worth adopting. I promise to be the most chaotic child you could ask for. That's a threat AND a promise.

P.S. Alfred says congratulations and he's sending cookies. P.P.S. The cat (Crime Alley) also approves.

[jaynetodd]

@timbits-drake EMERGENCY MESSAGE (not actually an emergency but you'll read it faster this way)

OK TIMBO I KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY DOING SOMETHING "IMPORTANT" LIKE HACKING THE PENTAGON OR SURVIVING ON NOTHING BUT ENERGY DRINKS FOR THE 5TH DAY IN A ROW BUT I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!!!

I GOT ADOPTED BY @imbatman-imtired!!!!!

throws confetti everywhere some of it lands in your coffee I'm not sorry

THIS IS HUGE!!! Like, universe-shifting huge. Like "Jayne Todd actually has someone who CHOSE her" huge. Still processing tbh but I'm stupidly happy about it.

And OK while I'm having this emotional moment (blame Dick, he's rubbing off on me), I need to say something:

I am SO SORRY about all those other Jason AUs who call you "replacement" and treat you like garbage just because you're a Tim. That's such trash behavior and it makes me want to throw hands with my own alternate selves. Like, who DOES that??

You're not a replacement. You're TIM. You're the smartest person in the family (don't tell Babs I said that). You're the one who figures everything out when the rest of us are just punching things. You're the one who actually keeps track of case files instead of just scribbling notes on fast food receipts (which I definitely don't do).

Sure, I'll still steal your coffee and hack your laptop and probably put glitter bombs in your air vents because that's what siblings DO, but I'd never call you replacement. That's just... cruel. And not the fun kind of cruel like putting hair dye in Dick's shampoo.

ANYWAY! I got adopted! And I wanted you to know because despite all evidence to the contrary, your opinion actually matters to me! (If you tell anyone I said that, I will replace all your Red Bull with decaf and deny everything.)

Crime Alley the cat says hi. She still hates Dick but she seems to like you. Traitor.

[jaynetodd]

Just applied for a mental hospital

not as a worker

as a patient

:)

//ooc fr i just did that, should i update y'all on the process? bc i need to talk abt it

[jaynetodd]

OMG BRUCE IS GONNA KILL ME IF I FAIL THIS DEBATE!!!

hey internet people!! jayne todd here, you know, the girl wonder who lives in that huge mansion with mr. broody bat-dad bruce wayne? yeah THAT jayne todd!

so GUESS WHAT?? i have this STUPID veganism debate in german class today and i'm SO GONNA DIE!!! only have 30 mins of actual class plus a 15 min break but STILL!!!

been running around the manor since 9AM screaming that my life is OVER even though my group doesn't even start until 12:15!!! alfred keeps trying to make me drink tea but I'M TOO BUSY PANICKING!!!

bruce was like "jayne, you're excellent at german" and i was like "THAT DOESN'T MATTER DAD I'M STILL GONNA FAIL AND LIVE UNDER A BRIDGE AND YOU'LL BE SO DISAPPOINTED AND WISH YOU NEVER ADOPTED ME!!!"

my debate group isn't even answering my texts!!! dick just laughed at me and tim is pretending i don't exist and damian called me "pathetically dramatic" WHICH I AM NOT!!!

gotta go now! only have ONE HOUR to prepare my ENTIRE ARGUMENT!!! if you never hear from me again it's because bruce grounded me for eternity after i fail this debate!!!

(@imbatman-imtired)

[jaynetodd]

//used ai for my main acc to make a picture, and it was this masterpiece

[jaynetodd]

i think adopting cute little things is in the family

because i keep on adopting plushies

ooc: fr

ooc: my latest adoption:

ooc: it will get a brother tomorrow