A/N: why is it always delinquent guys that get me back into writing?
Vasco:
big dumb baby
never used to care about his dumbness and others calling him that because Jace takes care of most things for him
he always has others looking out for him and tells them regularly how grateful he is for that
once the two of you start dating Jace literally has a meeting session with you and gets you an actual fucking manual on Vasco
he doesn´t mean any harm, it´s just the way he does things
and it´s important to him to get to know you so he can know Vasco is in safe hands
approves of you immediately once he sees how much you baby his best friend and how much he enjoys it
teases Vasco about how clingy he is to you and that you´re more like his mommy than his girlfriend
´Is that bad?´
he loves it so much when you call him your big baby, is so soft for you
experiences subspace with you for the first time, he never felt that safe before, so taken care of
calls you mommy in public too, the Burn Knuckles and the others are already used to it but it´s still a bit awkward in convenience stores when he asks you to buy him snacks
Eli:
the only actual sweet and wholesome one out of those oops-
you haven´t known each other for that long yet, just from school
you´re the only from your classmates who actually knows anything about him
he doesn´t know why he trusts you so much but you´re the only person who doesn´t make him feel like a complete failure
he can just ... be with you, without thinking about anything dark or sad
that´s why it´s so easy for him to introduce you to his family
Yenna loves you immediately and instantly attaches to you
Eli is so relieved that she loves you so much, it takes so much off his shoulder having you around taking care of her, someone he trusts, so he can go to work without having to worry too much
Sally and you grow really close, she always teases that you´re better suited for the role of mom than her since you care so much for everyone
but you always say that there can be two moms and that she´s doing a much better job than you ever could
she´s also the first one you tell about your feelings for Eli, you kept them hidden for a long time because you didn´t want to pressure him
you didn´t even want to get into a relationship with him, not wanting him to be tied down in any way
after everything that happened with Heather you didn´t want to remind him of any of that, you were happy co-parenting as his close friend
Warren is the one to get Eli to admit his own feelings for you, he already was vulnerable around you before, he trusts you immensely after all
but now that he knows why it all makes so much sense, but at the same time he´s so scared
comes to you immediately after the talk and just confesses right then, sharing all his fears with you
it´s only when he´s in your arms that he finally admits it out loud
´Can you be my mommy too?´
Jake:
so fucking clueless
gives you such an awkward and unnecessarily long stare you think he´s actively judging every decision he made leading up to dating you
it was already so awkward and hard to get together with him because baby boy literally doesn´t know what he´s doing
the other boys had to set you two up on a date because he didn´t know how to ask you out
you gave him your number right when you met but he never called or texted because he didn´t know what to say so in the end the others just had to drag him out to meet you
granted he´s much better after that first date and getting over his initial nerves
still asks the boys about advice a lot, especially Sinu
and that´s how this whole mess started in the first place
him and Sinu live next door
one night he invited you over for dinner and to watch a movie and the two of you overheard Sinu and his girlfriend in bed
it´s hard to tell which one of you is more embarrassed (it´s Jake)
he won´t even meet your eyes after he hears Sinu moan ´mommy´
you two promise to never talk about this ever again, it´s the best kept secret, Sinu never finds out
still, Jake is curious about that kink now, he never really thought much about those power dynamics, he didn´t mind them but didn´t seek them out either
that´s when he notices that you take care of him a lot too and just how much he appreciates that
especially after a long day, you´re always there, to hear him out, to just be quiet with him, cuddle him, going out of your way to cook for him
´thanks, mommy´
it just slipped out, you will never forget how mortified he looked after he said those words
definitely needs baby steps to accept that side of him (and come to terms with having the same kink as Sinu)
Samuel:
´ooh you wanna call me mommy so bad´
´shut the fuck up´
okay so you´re either just fuckbuddies or enemies to lovers
since the second option is more fun I´ll go into a bit more detail here
you hated each other since you first met, you´re an older member of the Workers and responsible for showing him around at first
he´s a brat and not the fun kind, he´s unbearably annoying
he hates you because you´re not his type and he hates taking orders
you´re always at each other´s throats despite actively avoiding each other
it goes so far that Samuel asks Goo of all people for help
he tells him to just fuck it out in the most deadpan tone Samuel´s ever heard from him
one thing leads to the other and after you´re done he´s so mad about how good it was because to him you´re so ugly
´like you´re one to talk, sharpie boy´
you only keep sleeping with him because he has a big dick
not that he knows how to use it
you´re even more strict and harsh in bed which pisses him off, it pisses him off even more that it feels that much better when you do it in the way you want it
he refuses to submit to you no matter how much he likes it, just because his pride won´t let him
´come on, it´s not like we´re dating´
he´s so fed up with you telling him to call you mommy that he just gives in
he mumbles it to an extent he hopes you don´t hear it
but you don´t let him cum until he says it properly
´fucking fine! mommy....you happy now?´
he´ll never forget the smirk you gave him after that, the way you called him a good boy
he doesn´t know if he just has a praise kink or actually wants to date you
Johan:
you´re the one to bring it up first
so fucking irritated by it too at first
it was hard enough for him to admit his feelings and get into a relationship with you, let alone have sex with you
he´s discovering a lot of new things about himself with you which he´s grateful for but also it still scares him sometimes, how overwhelming it all feels
especially with his eyes he feels so weak and there´s nothing he hates more
you used to fight a lot whenever you wanted to take care of him
it took him a long time to understand that you don´t do it out of pity or because you think he´s useless, but it´s because you love him and that´s just the way you show it
he´s gotten into being blindfolded lately, at first he was against it because he still has a hard time letting go of control
but it´s easier on his eyes, the blurry vision gives him a headache most of the time
´shh, it´s okay, I´ve got you´
´it´s okay...I´m okay now, you know I trust you´
kissing you feels so much more intense whenever you blindfold him, this man is addicted to your lips anyway
always kisses you to the point he´s completely out of breath
you´re the only one to ever see him smile
´mommy, come back´
he whines as he still feels your breath on his face, he always teases you like that when he´s needy, missing your lips even one second after they left his
´I´m right here, baby´
Sinu:
sweet baby boy
he is such a poster boy, like the best example of mdlb
it was love at first sight
you were new on the street, opening a new shop for sweets and snacks
needless to say it becomes his favorite within seconds
has the sweetest smile around you
he´s so easy to fall in love with
he´s a gentleman but also never afraid to lean more into your touch and keep looking up at you whatever chance he gets
he´s submissive in the small ways, melts whenever you praise him
especially when you tell him you´re proud of him
you boost his confidence so much every time you tell him he´s attractive
he actually loves being called cute and being able to make you laugh
he´s still so happy to be dating you, he never thought he´d actually stand a chance with you
just kept annoying Jake and the girls about how to ask you out and afterwards how amazing you were
literally updates them on everything after you two were official, first time holding hands, saying I love you
you said it first and he cried on the spot from happiness
´I love you too, mommy, so, so much´
Warren:
he is so SHY with it
doesn´t know how to bring up the topic at all
he´s home alone thinking about how to tell you he loves you, you´ve been dating for so long now but you never actually said you were boyfriend and girlfriend yet
Eli always told him to get to know someone first, to date properly before making any serious decisions like that
he´s in the kitchen when he hears something
he forgot Hudson is home, or rather Hudson forgot Warren´s home since that guy is just listening to porn on full volume
in this moment Warren is just glad that nobody else is home (and he also pretends he never heard anything not to embarrass Hudson)
he´s cooking dinner for everyone but keeps getting distracted by the sounds, it intrigues him
he always lets you take the lead in bed simply because he enjoys it the most, seeing you in charge, how good it makes you feel to make him feel good
and he´s so proud whenever you show him that expression only reserved for him
he´s more of a service dom with sub vibes in every day life
when you come home that night he asks you to be his girlfriend and when you agree he just decides to ask you the other thing directly too
´can I call you mommy too?´
Kenta:
it happened on accident
he´s always been very quiet about his own needs because he feels like he doesn´t deserve to be taken care of the way he always wanted to
you´re also a part of Workers, but used to work at Vivi´s club before switching over to his division
you´re pretty much the mom of the whole team and get along with everyone
he doesn´t mind you seeing him without his mask on, he does respect you and your reputation in the organisation but he doesn´t allow himself any more than that
he´s completely inexperienced after all so he doesn´t know what to do with the feelings he has once they appear
he doesn´t understand why you find him so attractive, but he also doesn´t complain when you keep telling him how handsome he is
you´re the only person who´s allowed to touch him
doesn´t like how easily he blushes with you and how his skin seems to be on fire everywhere you touch
he loves it the most when you hold his face in his hands like it´s the most precious thing in the world
he doesn´t understand at all
only reluctantly agrees to be your boyfriend and tells you immediately to not expect anything from him
he doesn´t think that you´re actually serious about him
kind of panics when he realizes you actually like him
keeps asking you why
´do I need a reason? I just like you, that´s not gonna change, you know?´
he´s extremely insecure about his abilities overall but he´s just clueless when it comes to romance so he actually doesn´t know what to do at all
he´s relieved when you take the lead, feels safe in your presence, like he actually matters and means something
you help him gain confidence and find his own self worth
he´s such a good kisser
one night he comes home exhausted from a job and just falls into bed, immediately asleep
you take the time to get some work around the house done
when you come back to the bedroom and sit down at the edge of the bed you can´t help but smile
Kenta´s having a wet dream about you, he looks so cute and small like that
´mommy...feels good...´
Gun:
oh boy, he made the biggest mistake of all
he´s more on the sadistic dom side himself
he doesn´t mind having others take the lead in bed but it mostly ends up boring him
he has trouble feeling overall, he has to learn how to feel in a healthy way again
you´re...not the right person for that
in fact you´re much much more worse than him
you don´t give a shit about anything, you don´t do relationships, you only fuck with guys who shut up when you tell them to
Gun and you are friends, you´re very similar so you get along immediately
especially because it´s so very clear to both of you that you´ll never be compatible so you don´t even have to bother trying
it´s easier that way, working together, hanging out, no responsibilities or fear of getting hurt or hurting the other person
it should´ve remained like that
´you´d be the perfect mommy, you know?´
´fuck off, I don´t do that shit´
you´re not nice like a mommy´s supposed to be, you´re more of a mistress or goddess type but since you don´t care for the sexual partners you have there´s no power dynamic, there´s just you fulfilling your needs and wants
´that´s a shame, you´d be good at it, you´re a natural, trust me´
´and why would I do that?´
´cause I wanna see it for myself´
´fine. but we do it my way, asshole´
your arrangement is...strange to say the least
it´s not a relationship, it´s not even fuckbuddies either
Gun and you don´t even sleep together that much
you just clash too much
and Gun already is spoiled in every way of his life
still, he´s intrigued by the concept, it´s so...dull to him but somehow that just makes him all the more curious, the domestic part of it
it´s new to you both, even cuddling is weird, he´s touchstarved and becomes extremely clingy towards you, you hate showing affection in any way, you both hate being touched
but somehow...it´s not that bad
you become hyperaware of him and his needs, it´s hard to be soft, that´s just not how you are
but it gets easier over time, Gun doesn´t even realize it but he stops teasing you eventually, he didn´t think he´d enjoy it this much, not being in control
Goo:
this bitchass wouldn´t hesitate to call you mommy the second he lays eyes on you
he knows what he likes and he isn´t afraid to show and express it
doesn´t understand why he should be ashamed of it either, he´s always been open with his interests and kinks (much to Gun´s dismay)
he always wanted someone to take care of him, not just because he´s a lazy and spoilt bastard but mostly because he´s a hopeless romantic (but refuses to admit it)
when Goo had his first date ever he over prepared with a bunch of flowers and chocolate and even had a bluetooth box with some cheesy songs playing and Gun laughed at him so much he never recovered from it
Gun still teases him about it so much so that Goo has to actively hide his romantic side so he can spare himself the humiliation
in private he just goes all out because of that
people think he´s just a joke but what they don´t get is that he´s brutally honest all the time
you´re the only one who got him from the start which is why he knows you´re the one instantly and full on fucking courts you, taking it slow, a good pre-dating phase, the most beautifully planned dates ever
´please be my mommy, I´m begging you´
´sure, why not´
´wait, that worked?´
he´s exactly your type, he doesn´t fuck around, both of you know what you want
he´s funny but honest to a fault
he doesn´t play games or anything of the sort, he´s just hopelessly in love with you
does so many things to impress you
shows you his sword collection and talks about it for two hours straight
tells you he loves you right after he notices you actually listened and were interested
Hey, Lavandula! How are you? If it's okay with you, could you write something about Monster? I love the way you write and I'm really interested in how you would do it! :D
A Tea Party With the Devil
Johan Liebert x reader
I’m doing alright, thank you for asking! Thank you!<3 I absolutely adore this man. He is so hauntingly beautiful and his aura is so eerie<3 I must say I am rather proud of this♡ I hope you like it! Listening to opera whole writing this was truly a vibe. I wholeheartedly believe that if this man would ever fall in love, he would be a yandere no matter what. I truly cannot image him otherwise
Synopsis: The “devil” in the form of a man has asked you to a tea party. You can never understand what is going behind his eyes and his reason for the invite is unbeknownst to you…
Masterlist
Warnings: yandere, obsession, slight religious imagery, drugging
Word count: 1860
The aroma of apple cinnamon tea filled the room. The clinking of the stirring teaspoon sounded like wind chimes. An otherworldly aria was playing from a record player that stood in on of corners of the beautiful hotel room. The interior was of rococo style and in lovely pastels. It was fit for royalty and you had found your breath getting caught when you first had entered the room. The room had a beautiful canopy bed with silk sheets, a delicate white wooden desk with gold details. A stunning sofa was in front of a coffee table filled with various luxury magazines. In front of the tall French doors that led out to the balcony stood a table with rococo chairs fit for a princess. The light blue cushions soft to the touch and extremely comfortable. The comfortable chairs made you never want to get up.
In front of you, across the round table, sat the blonde man. The angelic man. The man who had appeared in front of you in a moment of need. The man who had showed you salvation. The man who had fallen from grace and whose wings were no longer pure, but black from sins. The man whose name meant “God is Gracious”. The man who was in love.
Johan was a terrible man. The worst of the worst. Yet, you could not help but be attracted to him. Johan had been a good friend to you. That was before he revealed some of his true colours (he only let you see what he wanted you to see). Every word he uttered was perfectly thought out and said with such gentleness and at times you wanted to rip out your eardrums. His face was that of an angel. Pale skin with zero imperfections, soft blonde hair that looked like silk, light blue eyes that were captivating and somehow were able to look into your soul. His face was slim, almost feminine, with high cheekbones and a sharp jaw. To say he was beautiful was an understatement.
Your back was straight as you watched him carefully. His long fingers were elegantly holding a silver tea spoon with carved roses which he stirred around in his teacup with slow motion. He had been stirring his tea for what must have been five minutes. His movements suddenly stilled and lifted his hand and folded it together with his other hand as he rested them on the table. His back was straight, but relaxed. He was confident and that showed. A stark contrast to you.
“Are you not going to drink your tea, my love?” Johan asked as he tilted his head in curiosity.
You swallowed before you parted your lips that felt as if they were sealed shut by tar. “I have already had a cup today” your voice was lower than what you had intended, but your tone was still sour.
He let out a soft melodic laugh. “One more wouldn’t hurt. You are a tea lover, are you not?” he pulled his lips up into a sweet smile. Behind his lips rested the fangs of a beast the feasted on the ones unfortunate enough to catch its attention. He started at you for a moment before his smiled widened. “Don’t tell me… Is there perhaps another reason as to why you won’t drink it?”
You did not let yourself break his intense eye contact. “What makes you say that?” you asked innocently. You both knew why you hadn’t touched the tea that was calling for you. It’s scent was heavenly and you wanted nothing more than to take a sip. He had by no doubt drugged it. The moment you would place your lips on the thin rim of the white porcelain with blue floral motifs, your faith would be sealed. You would have given yourself to the ravenous devil.
He only smiled in return. “You truly are fascinating. I have never met someone quite like you. Take it as a compliment” he took a sip of his own tea. He closed his eyes as the light brown liquid hit his tastebuds. He hummed delighted before he sat the cup down. “It’s truly a magnificent blend. You should try it. I think it will be to your liking.”
“Did you truly just want to have a tea party with me?” you glanced at the three tired cake platter that was filled with varied cakes and sandwiches.
“Would that be so wrong?”
You let out a strangled laugh. “Why not go to a cafe? Why rent a hotel room?”
“Why not? It is a lovely hotel. One of the best if I might add” he picked up a pink cake before he paused and placed on your plate. “Their desserts are delicious” he said before he took a bite of his cake. He sat his fork down with a clink then wiped his mouth with a napkin.
“You know what I mean. I know there is something else going on” your brows furrowed in irritation.
At that his eyes got an unreadable look. “It appears so indeed.”
“Are you the reason for my friends disappearances?”
He stared at you smiling. The sun behind him cast its rays onto his hair, making it appear as a halo. He leaned back in his chair as his eyes looked you over. It was impossible to know what went on inside his head. “Do you really think of me in that way?”
“I do” your answer was curt.
Johan laughed at your answer. “To answer your question” he leaned forward and reached his hand over the table. His palm was facing upwards, waiting for you to place yours in his. You hesitated for a few seconds, before you placed your hand in his awaiting palm. The second your skin made contact with, his fingers wrapped around your wrist, ensnaring you like a snake. His grip was gentle but firm and his hold only tightened when you tried to wiggle your hand out of his grasp. You stopped your struggling when you saw his expression.
“I was indeed the reason for their disappearance. But that does not matter” his thumb gently stroked over your pulse. You were sure he could feel your hammering pulse.
Hot anger filled up in your veins and you were about to sneer at him, when he raised his other hand for you to be silent. You clenched your teeth together as you glared at him with both fury and fear.
“You can get them back” his voice softened. “I wouldn’t want you to suffer my dear. You know that, don’t you?” he raised your hand and planted a gentle kiss on top of it. His lips were soft and his kiss almost felt like a blessing from above. “Everything that happens is for your own good.”
Your voice was but a small whisper “How do I get them back?”
“You drink your tea” his thumb continued to draw soothing circles on your skin.
Drink your tea. He could have just place a bucket of rat poison in front of you and ordered you to drink it. You stole a quick glance at your cup. Its scent was still prominent.
“It’s a simple condition really” he hummed.
You looked up at him. His face remained unchanging. His mind was made and he would not compromise his condition. “What happens if I drink it?”
“I will release your friends” he was not going to state the obvious.
“You promise?” your hands were shaking like leaf in the unforgiving autumn wind.
“I promise. I will release them.” He placed the teacup in front of you with his free hand.
You picked it up. Your reflection stared back from the light brown surface. The sharp blade of the guillotine was resting on your neck. Your hands were shackled and you could only look at the man responsible for everything with a sneer. His smile was still present, though it was now sincere. With trembling hands you placed the rim to your lips. You started into his sky blue eyes as you tipped the teacup slightly. The tea was still warm as it met your sealed lips. Your open your mouth and the hot liquid poured inside. The taste of apples were almost overwhelming. You finished the cup in fast gulps before you sat it down so hard the cup almost shattered.
“That wasn’t so bad now was it? I told you the tea would be to your liking” his other hand found yours and wrapped its fingers tightly around yours. He gave you a squeeze.
Whatever he had put in the tea was much more stronger than what you had expected. Your vision started almost immediately to fog up and all sounds became muffled. You could almost no longer hear the opera that had been playing in the background the whole time. The sound of a chair scraping against the floor caught your attention. You needed to get away. Your words died on your tongue.
A pair of cold hands came down on your shoulders. They somehow grounded you and you became a bit more aware of your surroundings. The hands moved to under your arms and they slowly pulled you up from the chair and onto your feet. You were wobbly and your balance was almost nonexistent. You leaned against him as he carefully guided you to the canopy bed that stood waiting. He laid you down on its soft and comfortable sheets. His hand stroke a few hair strands away from your face. You looked up at him and somehow his eyes were the only thing you could see with clarity. You tugged on his brown turtleneck sweater.
Words bubbled up in your throat and you had to concentrate extra hard to push them out. “Were… you telling… the truth?” your voice was weak and it hurt to speak.
“I was” he cupped your cheek.
“Are they alright? Are my friends alive?”
“No. They are not” he smiled gently.
“You lied” venom was laced within your words.
He shook his head “I didn’t. I never said they would be alive, only released”. “My love, you really should learn how to word your requests better in the future. Misunderstandings are bound to happen” he kissed your forehead. He didn’t seem to mind the cold sweat that had been gathered at your skin. “Don’t worry, I will take care of you.”
The fallen angel was the last thing you saw before slumber took over your body. His face was burned into the back of your eyelids and he was the only thing you saw in your dream. His soft voice was the only music you heard and his touch the only embrace you felt. You were his everything and he had made him your everything. He had granted you salvation and you were not capable of rejecting it. You doubted he even was human. Johan was something else entirely. He was an ethereal being that had descended upon human soil. You had been the unfortunate soul that had had the misfortune of being the thing his black heart desired.
If you keep accepting requests, could u write reader catching them beating their meat but with johan, eli and jake this time please
PRIVACY POLICY (part-2)
part-1
LOOKISM CHARACTERS CAUGHT IN THE ACT OF JACKING OUT
🔞 WARNING: NSFW content, explicit themes, and suggestive scenarios. MINORS DNI. All character ages have been lifted (21+)
JOHAN SEONG
Johan had genuinely promised himself he would be a good boy.
You had been out all afternoon running errands, and he was supposed to be resting.
But his mind kept drifting to the way you had kissed him before leaving, and before he knew it, he was under the covers, completely overwhelmed by how badly he needed you.
Upon return you open the bedroom door quietly, so you don't wake the dogs, but your eyes are greeted with a completely unexpected view.
Johan is against the headboard, his eyes wide and completely blown out with shock.
His knuckles are white and his breathing is completely hitched.
As soon as he sees you, his face turns red, looking like a little boy caught stealing from the cookie jar.
He frantically tries to pull the blanket over himself, his voice cracking loudly as he looks away from you.
"Y-Y/N?! Why are you back so early?! Don't look at me—gosh, just turn around! I was just... I wasn't doing anything! ...Fine, I was waiting for you, okay?!"
"Johan. Calm down."
You walk over, sit on the edge of the bed, and gently pull his hands away .
You slide under the covers with him to finish what he started, and Johan lets out a soft, trembling sob of pure relief, hiding his face in the crook of your neck as he completely melts into your touch.
BIG DADDY >.<
It’s a rare Saturday where the apartment is completely silent. Sally and Warren had offered to take Yenna out for a day trip to the central park zoo with the rest of the Hostel crew, giving Eli a very much needed break from his dad duty.
You also had been out since the morning yourself for some personal errands.
So, Eli spent the first few hours cleaning the house top to bottom, making sure Yenna's toys were organized and the kitchen was spotless.
But once the chores were done, the silence of the empty rooms started to weigh heavily on him.
He laid down on your shared bed just to rest, but your scent on the pillows immediately made him realize how deeply touch-starved he’d been over the last few busy weeks.
He didn't act out of mindless lust—it was a heavy need to feel grounded.
Eli had been so engrossed that he didn't hear the front door click open, so when you entered the bedroom....Eli froze.
Hiis breath hitched completely.
A soft flush spread across his cheeks, and he immediately pulled his hand out of his pants, sitting up against the headboard.
He looked caught, yes, but more than that, he looked incredibly weary and deeply relieved that you're finally home.
"Y/N... you're back early. I'm sorry, I didn't expect you for another hour. I was just trying to just sleep until you got back, but... the apartment was just too quiet today. I missed you. Don't stand all the way over there by the door. Come here?"
You dropped your bags, kicked off your shoes, and walked over to the bed.
The second your arms wrapped around his neck, Eli buried his face directly into the crook of your shoulder, inhaling your scent like a drowning man hitting oxygen.
He wraps his hands tightly around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest.
He just holds you in absolute silence for a full minute, letting his heartbeat steady against yours before things slowly transition into something deeper, letting you take the lead while he treats you like the most precious thing in his universe <3.
JAKE KIM
Jake had been trying so hard to respect your space while you were out dealing with school and family stuff.
He tried working out, he tried going through the research papers Luah had sent him, but your scent on his pillows was driving him completely insane.
He ended up flat on his back on his bed, his boxers pulled down.
But (un)fortunately for him you walked in unannounced, using your spare key.
Jake’s eyes snapped to the doorway.
He stopped mid-stroke, his tensed abs locking up beautifully as he stared back at you.
He let out a breathless groan, dropping his forehead into his free hand, completely undone by the embarrassment of getting caught by his favorite person.
Before he could he even say anything, you walked over to the bed directly dropping to your knees right between his thighs.
Jake’s fingers instantly tangled into your hair as he rolled his head back into the pillows, completely submitting to your care.
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a/n: sooo sorry it took sooo longg anon!!!! hope you enjoyyyy ꫂ᭪݁
Hi!👋, I really love your writings so much😍 and I hope you're doing well rn🤗... can you do one of my request? where the fem reader was SO TIRED AND SO EXHAUSTED from work and when she was sleeping with her boyfriend(Lookism men) at night, she gave the most LOUDEST AND SCARIEST ever snores in her sleep suddenly... how will these following Lookism men would react to it: Small Daniel, James/DG, Samuel, Jake, Gun, Goo, Johan and Zack?? 🥺🥺🥺🙏🙏
Thank you for requesting me!💗🌺💗 sorry if its a little short!
Lookism x S/O who snores
🍬 Yeah he’s not getting any sleep that night. He’d probably toss and turn a little, sighing and actually contemplate a few options. He’ll either sleep somewhere else, but that might risk him waking you up and he doesn’t want to do that. Not when you’re so exhausted and finally get that one moment of peace you’ve been craving for a while. So he’ll just deal with it👍
🍬 James is a pretty light sleeper imo, at least that’s how i’d hc him. And no he won’t tell you about that he didn’t get any sleep. He’ll just ask you if you’re better now and move on from the topic. If you do however question him, he’ll just give you a smile and probably give you a vague answer. On the outside he’d seem fine. No eyebags or anything. But, he would however sleep a little early the day after.
🍬 if he feels extremely petty for some reason, he may record you, but that depends on how frequently it happens. If it’s one time he probably wouldn’t have done it. But if it’s frequently he’ll make sure at least have one video. It’s not of your face though. It’s probably a video of him laying on his pillow with a deadpanned expression, almost falling asleep but getting woken up by your loud scary snores. At some point in the video his annoyance would probably turn to being impressed.
🚬Oh hell nah he’s saying something the moment he sees you bro it’s on sight.
🚬 I don’t think Gun is a light sleeper, but he wouldn’t be a heavy sleeper either. He’d probably have difficulty falling asleep or maybe wake up a few times in the night to drink water (stay hydrated guys) and if you do snore more often he’d tell you pretty straight forward. He’s not rude about it. Just curious if you’re aware and tell you to sleep in a proper position.
🚬 If he falls asleep before you and you snore afterwards, he doesn’t have any problem with it. He’ll sleep normally and if he does wake up in the night to grab water he’ll adjusting your position to make sure you don’t snore. If it’s not cause of your position then he takes his L.
🚬 if you fall asleep before him. That’s going to be tuff for him. He’ll probably sleep on the couch, not that he minds, he has slept on couches before (i think in one of ptj’s animations?) and he doesn’t mind it at all. Closer to the sink to drink water. If he does however decides to stay in the bed and if you wake up before him, you can see his sour sleeping face. He’ll deny having one tho. So take a picture when you have the chance to do so!!
💸 look, he really, really, REALLY loves you okay? He does. But he’s a sensitive sleeper okay? He knows you’re tired, hence why he feels guilty even bringing it up. But he’s you genuinely scared hij yhe first time it happend! He jolted awake and thought he was overreacting when he saw you asleep. But when he closed his eyes and heard it again, he screamed, looked at you again, and then be surprised you didn’t wake up from his scream.
‘whats loud, scary, but doesn’t seem to be aware of anything.’
‘I don’t know.’
‘You.’
💸 when the initial shock settles, you won’t hear the end of it. He’ll use it as an inside joke for the two of you. And let me tell you, he finds it F.U.N.NY. He’ll tell and remind you every chance he gets. Sometimes he’ll pretend to be asleep and also fake snore just like you.
🪓 he’ll chop you with his axe for snoring too loud.
✌️ He’s genuinly unbothered by it? I feel like Jake would be a deep sleeper so if you happen to do it when he’s already asleep he won’t have any idea it even happend. If you’ll ask him the day after if he’d bothered by it he’ll just stare at you like ‘ :O’
✌️ if he ever knows about it its because you tell him, or he finds you asleep. He doesn’t really have an opinion on it? He just thinks it’s the most normal thing in the world and would probably just tug you in with a kiss om the forehead.
💪if you tell him it’s because you were exhausted and that’s usually why you snore. And why its so scary loud, he’ll feel very bad and try to make you as comfortable as possible when you sleep.
🤓 He’d snore with you deadass and the only reason he even knows you snore is because he’d probably be awake in his second body then.
🤓 also doesn’t care if you snore or not, he thinks it’s its cute above anything else and would probably tell you so. He’d think it’s the cutest thing ever and probably feel flustered about it too. He wouldn’t tell you that he knows though, it’s his secret treasure.
🤓 you’ll probably hear him snoring more than you tbh, especially if its not a one time thing
💪 Honestly, bro wouldn’t even know cause he’s never home- he’s usually out all night doing side quests. He’s not really vocal about what he does he just remains to be a mysterious void.
💪 BUTTTTTT if he DOES. Then he’d just give you a long side glance, maybe raise an eyebrow. But he wouldn’t say much about it. If it does really bother him for whatever reason he’ll just sleep somewhere else or sleeps trough it lowkkk cause i can see him sleeping like a rock.
✌️ doesn’t even mention it the next day tho, if you ask him about it he’d be super casual about it. Nonchalant even? As long as if doesn’t interfere with his plan to be king💯
🐶 he doesn’t sleep cause he’s too busy robbing ppl of their shoes
🐶 he also doesn’t have a house✌️💔
✨ Genuinely scares awake and lets out a terrified scream. Clutching his chest and all. Thought a demon came for him no offense tho. PTSD from that one scary lady that made him piss himself
✨ honestly bro would wonder how you even produce such sounds. Ofc he loves you to death, but your snoring may scare him to death💔✌️
✨ He’d probably ask you the next day what that even was about, and when you tell him the story he’ll be less freaked out and probably hug you and do something about you feeling exhausted. Or at least try to do something about it.
If you don't mind, can we get yohan seong x fem reader, nsfw headcanons
I really like this angry cute boy 🍓🤭
Love your writing 🥰🩷
seong yohan nsfw hc's
female + general
» a blushing mess when you take your shirt off. his eyes are darting everywhere but your chest even though its obvious he wants to stare. he's so nervous to touch you that he's trembling and watching your reactions to make sure it's okay
» similar reaction when you spread your legs, revealing your glistening cunt. he stares in awe, running his thumb across your slit. he'll take his time with you, learning where you feel best and all the right paces
» a sloppy eater. it gets so messy when he's down there, with your wetness and his saliva running down his chin. he laps like a mindless puppy until you're squirming in overstimulation. would love it if you sat on his face because it gives him an easier time eating you out
» some girth to it, but mostly length (6in). it flushes a cute pink whenever he's pent up <3
» poor baby would be so shy at first, whimpering softly into your kisses. he's normally never this vulnerable, but he trusts you enough to show this side of him. his hands hesitantly grab at your waist, thumbs softly stroking at it while you guys make out
» love love lovess kisses. it's so intimate to him and the feeling of your lips on his is just pure bliss. he also loves trailing kisses down your body, leaving marks as he goes. the more visible the better so everyone can see you're taken
» after the first few times and initial nervousness, he starts getting bolder. he'll start leading the kisses, holding you down with his strength, and touching all the right places
» better hope you have good stamina, because he's insatiable. he can go for multiple rounds in a row, only stopping if you want to. otherwise, he'll keep going until you're on the verge of passing out
» likes having his hair pulled. the first time you do it, a pleased groan slips out that surprises both you and yohan
» too scared to be vocal, so it takes him a while before he's fully comfortable expressing himself. it goes from quiet groans to whimpers and moans
» no need for any type of binds, because yohan is strong enough to hold you down with just his hands. you can't break free no matter how hard you squirm, leaving you entirely up to his mercy
» switches between soft and rough depending on the mood. he likes both of them (prefers rough but they both feel amazing), so it's all up to you
» probably would watch porn to learn how to pleasure you more. the copying ability doesn't just apply to fighting ;)
» horrible jealousy issues. if he sees someone else trying to flirt with you, that means he hasn't staked his claim on you well enough. you'll leave his house limping for days and a neck that looks like a hoard of vampires got to you
» also takes out his pent up anger on you, pounding into you with no remorse. everything with the crews and whatnot has him so stressed that he just needs to fuck it out of his system. it always works because he's super soft and pilant afterwards. feeling a little guilty when he sees how sore you are, he'll massage your back or anywhere that you want him to
» favorite position is missionary or mating press. any position where he has full view of your face is good enough for him. he's obsessed with seeing how your face contorts in pleasure, especially when his eyes are bad. he drinks in the sight and tucks it safely in his memory, savoring the moment
fin
a/n i LOVEE yohan so much!!! (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ i was really excited when i saw your request HAHA
˚ · .─ SYNOPSIS: Set a decade after the monster's last havoc in Runenheim; he managed to settle someplace nobody knew him, resolute to wander alone until his questions were answered. Needless to say, a companion who'd be willing to stay amid his solitude was the last thing he expected on this journey.
˚ · .─ TAGS: post-canon, developing friendships, romance, fluff, soft johan (whew), pining, domestic bliss, acts of service, johan acting like a male wife when he's just a friend lol, johan is soft but his unremorseful tendencies still show itself if you squint hard enough. ˚ · .─ WORDS: 5.8k
⭒ ⊹ ⭒ hapee holiday season, everyone! here's a christmas gift for my johan lovers:)
You come by Johan's crib after a long day of work. The door's open and there’s a faint albeit very comforting scent of smoke oozing out of the kitchen—your favorite soup. You knock softly (as if Johan didn't already sense your arrival with the clanks of your feet from the hallway; he had come to memorize your footsteps at this point). You find him by the stove, stirring something, movements deliberately slow.
“Smells good,” you say, voice light but sincere.
He doesn’t turn immediately, focus maintained on the pot. "It's just a simple dish. I thought you might be hungry."
He says it as if it's nothing. As if he just coincidentally thought of cooking your favorite dish. You smile, walking over to the table where a fresh and warm buttered loaf of bread awaits.
“You always know exactly what I need.”
Johan almost lets out a small, almost imperceptible chuckle, still not looking at you. "I'm learning."
The first time you met Johan, it was in the bookstore you both frequented, the perfect place to disappear for hours in the quiet maze of shelves.
You got to know him by the murmurs first then speaking to him second. It was the constant whispers of the librarians and regulars about a blonde man who seemed to have nothing in his closet but turtlenecks and trousers, yet the awe in their voices spoke volumes—albeit in hushed tones—as it tipped from intimidation to admiration.
“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?” one of them had said once, “like straight out of a painting.”
“I know,” replied the companion, her voice barely above a whisper. “But doesn’t he feel… untouchable? I wouldn’t dare.”
You’d followed their gazes and caught the sight of him for the very first time. Seated by the large window in the philosophy section, he was a picture of quiet solitude. His blonde hair caught the sunlight like spun gold, but it was his stillness that struck you most. Calm and composed—indeed he must be carved from stone.
Since then, you’d noticed the way others seemed to orbit around him, drawn in by his presence but never daring to get too close. “I hope someone gets the gall to talk to him,” you overheard one of the librarians mutter once. “It’s a pity seeing him alone all the time when he spends most of his days here. I get he might prefer it that way, but still…”
The words had stuck with you, stirring a strange kind of curiosity. Who was he, this man who seemed to command so much attention yet cold enough to remain distant?
Oh, if only you knew what the future holds for you two, you wouldn't be so nervous about it.
“Why are you laughing?”
When you snap out of it, the stove’s already closed and Johan’s attention is full at you. Needless to say, you’re flushed, but you at least manage to smile and say, “Nothing. Just remembered something funny.”
“Great,” he blankly muses as he carries the food to the dining area. “At least we’ve got something to talk about over dinner.”
The first time you gathered the needed gall to approach him yourself was when you were wandering the aisles. He was in his usual spot with a small stack of books aside. His posture was relaxed, one hand cradling a book while the other resting on the arm of his chair.
The whispers you had heard didn’t do him justice. He was striking, indeed, but there was something else, something intangible—a quiet volume in his presence hiding beneath the tranquility. It was the same volume that made you hesitate, and so you lingered by the shelves first.
It wasn't until the librarian’s words echoed in your mind. “It’s a pity seeing him alone all the time…”
Before you could talk yourself out of it, you stepped forward and blurted out (casually, or so you hoped), “What are you reading?”
When his gaze met yours, you felt the air shift. His eyes were the clearest shade of blue you had ever seen, perhaps akin to a lake hiding depths you’ll never reach. Looking back at it, you might’ve been right during that moment, for there are still so many things you don’t know about Johan even now.
Going back, Johan took his own time, as if weighing your question, and for a fleeting second, you think he might ignore you entirely. Fortunately, he tilted the book slightly so you could see the cover.
“Being and Time,” he said, voice as quiet as the space around you. You’d expect his voice to be deep and manly, but his soft-spoken tone didn’t disappoint you either. In fact, you might’ve liked it more than you imagined.
“Heidegger,” you say, mostly to fill the space. “That’s… a lot to unpack.”
A faint smile touched his lips, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “It is.” Then he closed the book in a manner so poised that it felt almost reverent. “Have you read it?”
You shook your head. “Not yet. Philosophy’s always been a little intimidating. Too many questions, not enough answers. Not my thing.” For a brief moment, however, you thought it'd be nice to pretend you liked it just so you could talk to him longer.
His smile lingered, softer this time. “That’s the point, isn’t it? The questions.”
“And you like that?” you took a small step closer. “Questions without answers?”
He leaned back slightly, considering you with a quiet curiosity that mirrored your own. “I think it’s better than answers without questions.”
“Not really.”
He raised his brows, and it didn’t take him too long to signal his hand on the spare chair in front of him, inviting you to his table so you could expound on your answer.
You realized then that talking to Johan means having to deal with his words hanging often in the air, and even now you still find yourself caught between wanting to unravel his meaning and simply basking in the way he says it. Amid his tranquil is a tension, that invisible string pulled taut just before it breaks.
And, with that said…
“You don’t talk much about your past,” you start, voice almost shy. “I respect that. But I think I need to understand. Not for me, but for you. We’ve been friends for a while now.”
Johan doesn’t answer immediately. His fingers are wrapped around his cup, staring at the dark liquid inside as though it could offer him the answers. You’re right, all you know about him is that he’s named Johan. He’s past his thirties. He seems to like your company over dinner or while reading his daily dose of books. He likes spending the rest of his day in the library where you two first met after he’s done with his informal job of tutoring children around the neighborhood for a small price—because to quote one parent, “Mr. Johan is good at children! They love him,”—which almost made him chuckle sardonically at one point, only if he wasn’t with you at the time it was said.
He has always been careful with his words, but this time, he seems to hesitate a little longer than usual. Finally, he speaks, albeit his voice is quiet, almost a whisper.
“I’m not the person you think I am, you see…” he starts, and with that simple remark, he's able to deduce that he's not ready to talk about it at all. "...but the past is a weight deplorable people like me are not willing to carry.
Not that he ever would be ready to talk about it, with you no less. Johan had spent so much time hiding his true self for the past decade not any more thrilled to see the reactions of others who’d come to know who he really was, even more not willing to see your reaction once you learn all of it, too.
But needless to say what he just said is progress. This is the first time in a decade that he has admitted out loud that he is a deplorable being. And that couldn’t be truer for him because even now as you talk, Johan still has no plan to carry the burden of his sins the way his victims would want to.
He is, in fact, stuck in here, wandering aimlessly, still struggling to understand the need for it, still wanting to see the world the way those people had seen it. The vision doesn’t appear to him no matter how many books he reads, how many buoyant children he tutors, or how many happy parents he comes across.
Then why does he allow you to see him little by little if he fails to understand it all?
“What only matters for me right now is what’s here,” He gestures around, eyes briefly meeting yours. “This. You.”
You don’t know what to say, but the fire starts feeling a bit warmer after that remark.
On Johan’s end, he seems to have formed some kind of enlightenment with his remark, too.
Here, in his little crib, with you by his side, he’s slowly but finally allowing himself to be seen (in ways he can and knows how) for the monster that he is, and it's all thanks to your presence. His growing fondness for you has the potential of freeing him from his aimless wandering. And if this fondness, perchance, starts developing for other people as well (to your neighbors, to the kids he tutors, to the parents trusting him, to the librarians doing favors for his books), he believes he could finally start seeing the world the way those people have seen it.
“But I don’t need to know what you’ve done or whatever it is that makes you ‘deplorable’," you quote in the air. "I just want to know you."
And his questions will be answered. And, in time, Johan can finally face the weight of his sins with full understanding.
He looks at you then, his gaze steady and calm. “You already do.”
On the second, third, fourth, and perhaps even fifth time you two came across each other at the library, you had always pretended to see him coincidentally (feigning shock with a high-pitched “Oh hi there, Johan! Didn’t know you were there! It’s been a while! How are you?” that you prayed he didn’t find annoying) because, little did Johan know, your intrigue had been keeping you up at night. You frequented the library—with all sorts of books and topics diverse—to quench your curiosity about lots of things. But with this blonde man, how could your curiosity about him be quenched if not through this?
At times, you thought he’d seen through your friendship scheme, but your inner demons brushed off the thought. After all, how could he tell that these moments were, in fact, not coincidental when you two were known by the librarians for frequently requesting library cards because the old ones had been too full to fill up?
You glanced at the stack of books beside him and realized that they have a rather eclectic mix—existentialism, psychology, classic literature. “You have a theme going,” you say, nodding toward them.
He followed your gaze. “These authors had… interesting ways of seeing the world. I like to understand how people think.” The faintest edge to his voice, however, made you wonder if he was speaking about others—or himself.
“Do you ever agree with them?”
“Not always, but understanding isn’t about agreement. It’s about perspective.”
You nodded then, rendered into silence, unsure how to respond. There was a weight to his words that felt out of proportion to the simplicity of the conversation. But you didn’t mind. If anything, it makes you want to keep talking to him.
“I’m sorry—” you said suddenly, realizing you had been standing there for far too long. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you. I just couldn’t help but notice. I’ll be off then! Have a great time.”
When his gaze met yours again, there was a flicker of something softer. “It’s not an interruption,” and for the first time, his voice held a hint of warmth. “Sometimes, a conversation can say more than a book.”
You smiled at that, feeling a strange, inexplicable comfort in his words. “Well, if you ever need someone to talk to about… questions without answers, I’m around!”
He didn’t respond immediately, but his expression shifted, the faintest trace of curiosity mingling with something you can’t quite name.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said at last, and though his words are polite, there’s a quiet sincerity to them that makes you believe him.
After dinner, the quiet hum of the night wraps around you as you sit in Johan’s small, meticulously organized living space. The fire dwindles to a much softer glow, casting long shadows across the room before you notice Johan's gaze flickering between the firelight and you. His hands rest loosely on the arm of his chair, seemingly content in the silence. His stillness betrays a quiet attentiveness though—for he's always aware, always considering.
“You didn’t eat much,” says Johan, proving your musings. It's not an accusation either, just an old flat remark on his end.
You shake your head, smiling softly. “I wasn’t that hungry earlier.”
He gets up without a word, movements unhurried as he disappears into the small kitchen. You hear the faint clink of a ladle against a pot and the gentle hiss of steam as he pours something. Moments later, Johan returns with a steaming bowl of soup and a slice of bread.
“Eat."
You hesitate for a moment before picking up the spoon, letting the warmth of the soup seep into your hands. “You don’t have to take care of me like this, you know?”
“I know,” he says simply before meeting your eyes, the usual coolness softened by something you couldn’t quite decipher.
The soup is more than perfect, though—rich and comforting as always—and he knows you'd feel guilty if you don't eat it. “I don’t know how you do it,” you mumble in between, “but you always make things feel… manageable? I don’t know.”
He tilts his head slightly, as though considering your words. “Do expound."
"I’d rather not."
The chuckle he lets out with your statement has made it more difficult for you to hide your fluster, but much to your relief, Johan doesn't press you further.
The same chuckle wraps every crevice of your body with warmth. Oh, to have a friend taking care of you like this. His solitude can be dreary, but so utterly comfortable nonetheless.
Making Johan live next to you will always be one of the proudest decisions you ever made.
It was approximately three months after those fateful (intentional) encounters, that the library had become a haven for you both. Your quiet camaraderie grew into something akin to a routine. You’d share the same table, absorbed in your respective books, the soft rustle of pages turning creating a rhythm that felt comforting in its simplicity. Occasionally, you’d catch Johan glancing at you, and there would go his unreadable gaze for a moment before returning to his book.
That time, you were engrossed in a novel while Johan seemed to be studying Hegel. The silence between you was companionable, feeling like you had carved out your own little world amidst the whispers and movements of the library.
But the spell broke when Johan spoke, “May I ask you a favor?”
Not that it annoyed you. It actually did quite the opposite. Johan, this guy, asking you a favor? He rarely initiated conversations in the first place! Still, you tried to be calm about it, settling down your book with poise and all. “Of course, what is it?”
“I’ve been considering moving to a quieter neighborhood. The place I currently reside in… lacks a certain tranquility.”
You tilted your head, “Quieter, huh? You don’t strike me as someone who’d tolerate noise for long.”
He gave you a faint but genuine smile. “It’s not the noise itself. It’s the... atmosphere. I’d prefer somewhere where the days feel less hurried.”
“I might know a few places. My neighborhood is pretty quiet, actually. There’s a lot of greenery, and the people keep to themselves. It’s the kind of place where you can choose to go weeks without bumping into your neighbors or talk to them to your heart's content.”
His eyes lit up very slightly, but that rare glimmer of interest in his face made your heart skip. “That sounds ideal. Do you happen to know of any available apartments?”
You hesitated, mind racing. The apartment beside yours had been vacant for months. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it was cozy, with a small balcony overlooking the courtyard. The thought of Johan living next door—of sharing more than just library visits—has kept your tongue tied for a while.
“A-actually… there’s a place right next to mine.” But hey, at least you were still trying to sound casual about it. “It’s quiet, and the landlord’s a nice guy. I can give you the details if you’re interested.”
“That’s very kind of you. If it’s not too much trouble, I’d appreciate it.”
“Not at all!” you replied quickly, perhaps too eagerly. “I can show you the place after we leave here if you’d like.”
“That would be helpful. Thank you.”
And now, as you go back to the present, you wonder why you’ve been feeling a bit too nostalgic lately, though it doesn’t stay unanswered when you glance at Johan’s calendar.
This day, last year, was the time you started sneaking on his spot at the library to initiate a talk. Reflecting on it now, your stupid tactics will never be something you’ll regret. He’s one of your closest friends now.
Johan’s friendship isn’t one for grand gestures, but it becomes clear that his acts of care are his way of expressing what he’d prefer not to put into words. A favorite book you’d mentioned in passing has appeared on his coffee table. A small vase of daffodils now sits on the windowsill the next time you visit. His dinners are always for two, even when you show up unannounced—and if, for instance, you try to ask him about it, he’d just casually shrug and say, “I just ended up cooking a lot. Eat it while it’s hot.” More, and more, and more. It’s as though Johan is slowly turning his house into your own, too.
The same goes for the stuff you accidentally leave at his place. Your scarf? You’d see it neatly folded on the chair by the door the day after. Feeling a bit too cold during the evening? There, he has a blanket ready before you could even ask.
One night, you arrive at his house later than usual, steps heavy from a particularly grueling day. The door's unlocked, as it has been when he expects you.
“Johan?” you call, shrugging off your coat.
“In here,” comes his voice from the kitchen.
You follow the sound and find him standing by the stove while stirring a pot. The dim light casts a warm hue over him; his sharp features soften along the way.
He glances at you briefly, offering a small nod. “Long day?”
You lean against the doorway with a tired sigh. “You have no idea.”
Without a word, he turns off the stove and begins ladling soup into a bowl. He sets it on the table, gesturing for you to sit.
He sits across from you, his own bowl untouched. Then there goes his gaze, lingering on you, unintrusive but steady, as though he's reading every line of exhaustion on your face and filing it away.
“You should take a break."
You smiled wryly. “From what? Life?”
“From pushing yourself too hard."
His words hang in the air, simple yet profound. You nod, not trusting yourself to speak. Johan’s protection of your peace became a natural extension of his care for you. He never pushed you to do anything for him. He never asked for more than you were willing to give. But he shows up. Every day. Quietly. Steadily.
The warmth of this dinner where Johan casually asks about your day, muses about his, shares the books he had read, makes you chuckle at the tomfooleries of children he has tutored, and more has been consuming you. It doesn’t take long until you finally work up the courage to ask a question that’s been lingering in your mind for quite some time.
“Why do you do all this for me?”
Johan looks at you, his expression unreadable. For a moment, you think he might deflect, as he so often does when conversations edge too close to vulnerability. But then, he answers, his voice quieter than usual.
“Because you stay.”
The simplicity of his words struck you. Johan, who has always been careful, always guarded, is telling you more than you realize.
“I stay because I want to."
His gaze doesn’t waver, but you notice the subtle shift in his expression—a faint, almost imperceptible relaxation.
“I know,” he replies, and for the first time, there's a hint of something like certainty in his voice.
With the winter deepening and the night growing colder, the warmth inside Johan’s home never falters. The conversations drift to lighter topics—books you’d read, places you wanted to visit, small dreams you’d never share with anyone else. Johan listens intently, his focus unwavering.
“I think you’d like the mountains,” he says at one point. “Quiet. Peaceful.”
You smile. “You make it sound perfect.”
“Well, it could be.” His gaze lingers on you for a moment longer than usual. “Don't you think so?”
There's something in his tone—something unspoken, undecipherable, and yet undeniable. You realize something that made your heart ache and swell all at once: Johan isn’t just taking care of you. He's allowing you to take care of him, too, in the only way he knows how: by letting you stay. And, just like what happened just now, his likes and preferences will slip out of his mouth without him noticing from time to time, albeit much of them still projected as something you might like instead.
It's not easy for him, you know. But every bowl of soup, every blanket, every quiet moment shared in his little home is his way of saying what he couldn’t bring himself to say outright.
And for now, that is enough.
Johan’s care remains consistent, though you begin to notice small changes in his interactions with you.
His gaze often lingers a second longer, softening in ways you don’t know how to interpret—maybe it even softens a little too much especially when you’re telling him about your days. And his voice—oh, his voice that has bewitched you since the first time you had heard it in the library—recently it lowers in an almost tender way, his tone more perceptive of what you need even before you realize it yourself.
Then there goes the gestures. An extra blanket he drapes over your shoulders on particularly cold nights. A cup of tea that spawns on the table whenever he notices your mood falter. A brush of his hand against yours when he steadies you under the weight of too many things. All these moments feel small, insignificant even, and yet they’ve become harder and harder to ignore.
Maybe it’s a you problem (even though you tried your very best to stop the thoughts, to be fair) but oftentimes you can’t help but ask, has he always been this way?
No way Johan could like you, that much you know. But if we’re talking about you and the things under your sphere, the feelings that you can control, what would you answer if he came one day to ask if you still like him as a friend, or if it has progressed to something more dangerous—what would you tell him, then?
Fortunately, the Christmas season has brought a whirlwind of gatherings—giving you the space that you need from your colleagues. And for the night of Christmas itself, you’ve chosen to attend one with your friends instead of having dinner with him. It’s not that you don’t enjoy his company; you do, perhaps a bit too much, even, but you thought a change of pace would help clear your head.
You never intended to get yourself wasted, but the way you kept thinking of him during the gathering, spacing out, wondering if he managed to cook his own dinner or if he ‘accidentally’ made it again for two. At one point you even considered excusing yourself early just so you could go back home—to him. Oh god, you’re doomed indeed.
Hours later, the cold night air hits you as you stumble back to your apartment, the warmth of good food and too much wine still buzzing in your veins. While fumbling with your keys in the dark, you notice a figure standing at the door next to yours.
Johan.
His posture is impeccable as always, but his face is unreadable, bathed in the soft light of the hallway lamp. His sharp eyes meet yours, flickering briefly to the keys trembling in your hand.
“How long have you been—”
“You’re late.” His voice is rather calm, but there’s a note of something you can’t quite place.
“Merry Christmas, Johan,” you smile softly, the silly intoxicated mind finding his concern oddly amusing. “But oh, wait! Sorry, you told me you don’t celebrate holidays, right? Silly me,” you sway slightly. “Still, I bought you a gift, but I—hic—I left it inside. Maybe you can accompany me inside so y—you could, uh… what was I gonna say again?”
“You’re drunk,” he states the obvious with eyes narrowing ever so slightly.
“No, I’m, hehe, not.” Though your keys clatter to the floor as if your body is mocking your denial. “Shit. I don’t have a spare key.” Disappointment so palpable as if the keys falling to the floor renders it unusable.
Johan sighs, bending to retrieve them with effortless grace. Without another word, he steps forward, unlocks your door, and gently guides you inside.
The warmth of your apartment envelops you, and you’re too tipsy to protest as Johan helps you to the couch. He disappears momentarily and returns with a glass of water.
“Drink.” His tone leaves no room for argument. You comply, sipping obediently, though you can’t help but watch him as he hovers nearby, his movements ever careful and deliberate, as though he’s weighing every action. When you finish, he takes the glass from your hands and sets it aside. “You should lie down.”
You nod. But then, Johan doesn’t accompany you to your room. He instead readies himself to leave. Why would he leave? He turns off the lights, assuming you are indeed on your way to your bedroom, and then bids you good night.
No.
The room spins slightly as you try to reach out to him. You fail miserably though, but Johan’s fast reaction steadies you immediately. He picks you up by the arm before you can even fall, “You okay?”
“Don’t leave.”
Johan squints his eyes, his thoughts lurking towards something. “Did something happen at the gathering? Did someone perhaps—”
“No, I—” you stammer because Johan’s proximity seems to have sobered you up. He gently sits your flailing body on the floor. He’s crouching, though his hold on your shoulder didn’t cease. “I just…I just realized something.”
He hums, waiting for you ever so gently to respond.
The same gentleness that pushes you off the edge.
“I like you.”
But the lights are off. You wouldn’t see Johan’s reaction.
The silence stretches painfully, and it doesn’t take long until you feel a pang of regret. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disappoint you.”
For a moment, he doesn’t respond, and you think he might leave. But then he speaks, his voice quiet, almost strained. “You didn’t disappoint me,” he says finally, and you find it strange how that simple—perhaps even empty—clarification plucked out a thorn in your vein. “It’s just that you don’t know what you’re saying right now.”
“I do,” you insist despite the haze in your mind. Your eyes scan everything else but his face above, trying to articulate it in a way he’d believe. “I’ve liked you since we met at the library. I pretended to come across you accidentally just so we could have something to talk about. I—I used to sit there for hours just hoping we’d talk. It kept me awake at night… thinking about you, about the way you look when you read. I thought I was just like that because I wanted to be your friend so bad, but I—” you exhale, ragged, exhausted. “I don’t think it passed even when we became close. There go your habits, and how you’re so kind to me… I can’t deny it any further and pretend I just want to be friends.”
Your words trail off, and the silence thereafter has felt suffocating. Johan remains unmoved, his posture rigid, and you can’t help but wonder what’s going on inside his head.
“Let's talk about it tomorrow…” Johan starts. “When you’re sober.”
“Okay…”
And yet, no one dares to move.
You finally look up after five minutes or so, and there you catch Johan’s gaze lingering on you—not piercing, but steady, contemplative. His hands rest loosely on your shoulders, yet you notice the slight tension in his fingers, the faint clench, and release as though he’s holding something back.
“You’ve been quiet,” you finally say, voice softer than intended, eyes up at him and nothing else.
“So have you,” he replies, and though his tone is even, there’s something in the way his eyes flicker to yours, then away, as if he’s caught in something too raw to name.
There goes the silence again, not because it’s awkward but because something has changed. Your body can sense it—the urge to move just a bit higher so you can reach his face, perhaps cup his cheeks just a bit, and maybe a small kiss on the forehead too…? Your heart flutters like a bird aching to be let out. Your feelings for Johan have been climbing higher than you ever intended tonight. And yet, the way he looks at you now, guarded but searching, makes you wonder if he feels even a fraction of what you do.
“Johan,” you say, voice trembling, “I…”
He looks at you again but in a manner quite different from how he usually reacts whenever you call his name. Still, you don’t let it scare you off.
“I don’t care if you can’t carry the weight of your past,” you say, the words spilling out like water from a dam. “I just want to be with you, and… maybe—”
It’s just that you don’t get to finish.
Johan leans in fast; you feel the time pacing a bit quicker, perhaps so it could cater to your shock. His hold on your cheek is gentle and controlled, but the way he meets your lips fervently speaks the urgency of it, as though he’s been waiting for this moment longer than he’s willing to admit.
And so when you do more than push him away, your hand tentatively reaching for his arm instead—he deepens it further, his restraint crumbling just enough to let you feel his response to your confession. After all, what Johan lacks in words he always compensates in action. His care has always been consistent and predictable in its subtlety and restraint, thus making his lack of control and patience right now unusual and out of character. But even then, his lips have a careful precision that still feels so him.
Oftentimes you'd wonder how Johan's skin would feel against yours. He barely looks alive so you thought he'd feel cold. But oh how wrong you are. His hand languidly slides to your back, and then he abruptly pulls your body towards him. It's warm, perhaps too much that it overwhelms you. His heart is beating fast, the needed confirmation that this affects him just the same.
Johan’s movements feel as though he himself is unfamiliar with this feeling—as if this is the first time he's had this reaction. Your mind then races with questions. Does this mean he feels the same? Or is this meant to keep me guessing? What happens after this?
The thoughts melt away when he pulls away, eyes lidded, lips puffed. “Johan, what—”
Only to kiss you harder again. Perhaps he did because he felt your attention drifting away from him. It’s as if to say you wanted this to happen, so relish it without thinking about anything else. This sudden assertion after keeping himself subtle is doing something in your brain.
Johan seems to take pleasure in your reactions, too—the way you pant as your lips pressed together, your hands clinging onto the waves of his hair, and when you slip out a little moan because his hands slide into your shirt to feel the heat of your back, you feel him smile. Then he becomes more passionate. More desperate. More longing. And in this moment, Johan feels more reachable, more understandable.
Perhaps his lack of usual poise also says a lot about how he’s still doing everything in his power right now to hold back, and he’s asking you to cooperate.
Johan pulls back for good in a rather slow, deliberate manner, just in sync with your panting breaths. His forehead brushes lightly against yours as he stays close.
“I told you, hadn’t I?” His eyes, now open but still lidded, seemingly search your face for something—fear? Regret? Understanding? What is it? “We’ll talk about it tomorrow when you’re sober. You’re not listening to me.”
You open your mouth to say something but his fingertip presses gently to your lips.
“Don’t,” he whispers, his voice softer, reminding you of his restraint. “Not yet.”
But I just want to say that I liked it and I want more.
“Please,” he adds as if he just read your mind.
What a sight to see.
The way his face looks right now makes you feel his inner turmoil. The weight of his past he claims a deplorable being like him will not be willing to carry is making him more reluctant to let himself have this—to have you.
He needs time, doesn’t he? And so you finally nod, temporarily ceasing the itch to have your questions answered.
Johan sighs in relief, sounding genuinely tired as if this night has taken all of his energy and willpower. He doesn’t forget to usher you up, and when he realizes you’re not wobbling that much anymore, he nods, taps your cheeks, kisses your forehead, and repeats his good night.
As soon as the door closes, you slowly walk to your room. Eyes wide, fingertips touching your sore lips, and you plopped on the bed unceremoniously.
For now, in the quiet of your apartment, with the taste of him still lingering on your lips, at least you can now assure yourself that for the first time since you’ve known each other, he finally let himself be vulnerable, even for a moment. And that is more than you ever could have asked for.
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a little drabble about johan having a crush on you — he's totally whipped though.
IT'S when you said that his hair was getting pretty long and that he should maybe cut it, only hindering his already poor eyesight more. And he did cut his hair. No, not because you suggested it.
Johan did it on his own, because he wanted to. Yes. It's not like he sat on the usual meeting spot, the bench in the park, for hours while waiting for you just so you can see his new and fresh haircut.
What did you say? It looks good? He's handsome? Oh his cheeks are red? How dare you accuse him of blushing? He would never. Why would he even blush? Only because you gave him two or three compliments?
Just because you ARE a little cute — cuter than the average — and a bit friendly with him, doesn't mean that he has a crush on you. Why would someone even think that he has a crush on you?
But by the time he catches himself staring at your figure for a little too long, he knew he was absolutely whipped. How couldn't he? Even Eden and Miro were happy at the sight of you!
