happy christmas to those who celebrate!! 🎉🎉🎉yippie!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉jolly!!🎉🎉🎉wait stop the confetti thing now🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉oh god stop🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉THATSTOOMUCHCONFETTI🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉OHGOD🎉🎉🎉🎉
Anne is having so much fun putting Lestat through it in TotBT I can't take it lol.
He's cold! His dick feels weird! It smells weird! Everything smells weird! He doesn't know how to piss! He hates the smell of cheese (revoke his French card!) 😂
kind of jolly, kind of get-to-know-the-dawn-characters!!
(links to explaining jolly are in my pinned post!) (maybe read those before you read this?)
~~
Being a queen is hard.
Being a queen of an underground society of superpowered alien-humanoids is even harder.
Being a queen of an underground society of superpowered alien-humanoids with a enemy of another underground society (read: cult) of superpowered alien-humanoids trying to get back to the planet where we are from lead by a eccentric genius-wizard obsessed with frozen lemonades and fancy capes, along with his niece, who is basically Elsa, my best friend’s older sister, and her ex girlfriend, my half-sister’s ex boyfriend, plus a dude who can teleport and talk to animals is...well…
Hard. It’s hard.
Especially when said cult decides to ambush you and your friends while walking home from an afternoon of ice cream and snarky goddesses. (I’m looking at you, Ophelia.)
“Well well, well, if it isn’t my favourite queen!” J.P is holding two Tim Horton’s frozen lemonades, flanked by Rachel (Miranda’s sister) on his left, and Lily (Miranda’s ex) and Em (Tia’s ex) on his right (they’re dating).
“Your favourite queen?” I say, crossing my arms. Miranda looks ready to blow up the whole city, Ryan looks ready to stop her (and probably fail), and Tia just looks tired.
He smiles, and hands me an iced lemonade. I sip it, raising my eyebrows. “Yes, my favourite queen.”
“Look J.P,” Miranda says. “If you just came here to flirt with Holly--horrible job you’re doing, by the way--then how about the rest of us can just go back to the queendom and hang out? Because I’m not really in the mood to watch you two pretend to be enemies right now. Plus, the season finale for my favourite show is on tonight and--”
“It’s 2 in the afternoon.” Ryan says, clearly annoyed.
“Yes, so I need to consume all the fan content possible before it airs! And Ryan, be honest, do you really want to watch these two flirt-argue for the next 15 agonizing minutes?”
“Hey, we watch you two flirt-argue on the daily, for much longer than 15 minutes.” Tia says.
“Let’s stop talking about me and Ryan.”
“Let’s not.”
“Okay, okay.” If these three start fighting, I’ll be powerless to stop it.
They all turn to me, and all hostility vanishes.
Hmm. Maybe not so powerless.
“We find out what they want, and we go home. Miranda, I promise you will be able to watch your show tonight.” She beams.
I flash J.P my disapproving-queen look. “Mister Ross? A word?”
He waves his hand, and the Hex members bow to him before rolling up their sleeves and pressing a rune on their forearms, disappearing in flashes of blue light.
I raise my fist, and my queendom rune on my wrist glows gold. My friends nod, and disappear.
“So…” I say.
“Yes.” He scratches the back of his neck. “I need your help with a job.”
I raise my eyebrows. “My...help. You. Need?”
“Very strange way of saying it, but, yes.”
I’m at a loss for words. “Why?” is the only thing I can think to say.
“Because...you’re the best at scheming.”
“I’m not.”
“Maybe I wanted to spend some time with you. And we can k--”
“If you say ‘kill someone’ I will. And it’ll be you.”
“I was going to say ‘kill some people’, but close eno--hey!” I slap him.
“We are not killing anyone,” I hiss.
“You do it all the time.”
“Not for fun.”
“This isn’t going to be for fun! It’s a job, I told you that.”
“Okay. Humor me. A job. What is this job?”
“Killing people.”
I slap him again. “But for a good cause!”
“What is the cause?”
“There’s a gang--it’s a cult, really, but if we went by those rules, we’d both be cult leaders too--and they’re mutant hunters. Basically a bunch of murderers who kill us for big bucks.”
“Who pays them?” I ask. I’m surprised to find that I’m actually interested in this subject.
“FBI, rich people who think they know mutants, those people.”
My jaw drops. “The FBI are hiring assassins to hunt us down?”
“To hunt you down. They don’t know about us.”
I scowl, and he smirks at me. “You need to do a better job of undercoverness, Your Highness.”
“Undercoverness?” I say grumpily.
He wiggles his eyebrows. “Mmhm. Aaaaall the best cult leaders are up to date on the latest techniques. You’re really behind.”
“How unfortunate.”
“I was just thinking that.”
I scrunch my brow. “This cult...it isn’t any danger to you. Why do you want to take them out?”
He quiets, his easy-going manner disappearing. “I suppose I didn’t want someone else to kill my enemy.”
“Right.” I'm not disappointed by his response. Nope, not in the slightest.
“Soo….wanna go kill some assassins?”
“If you kill a murderer, the number of murderers in the world stays the same.”
“All the more reason why we should kill a whole cult of them.”
