Warnings: Language, violence, sexual situations, vandalism
Summary: He’s an artist. He does it all for the ‘art.’ Tattooing. Racing. Sex. All because he thinks they’re beautiful. There’s no one here that doesn’t know his name, because it’s everywhere. On every graffiti-filled wall, every tattooed skin, every cheer of the crowd. His name is there somewhere, because it’s all his—this world. And when he lays his eyes on you—well, he’s never seen anything more beautiful. And he’s going to make you his masterpiece.
The sun beats down on you, sweat dripping down the side of your face and you try to quicken your strides, eager to get to somewhere cool. Throwing open the doors of the garage, their AC is a blessed relief. Byun hangs half-way off the reception counter, his bored grin greeting you like always. “Hey there. Here for Chen again?”
You nod while fanning yourself, the tank top you wear practically soaked with your sweat. Summer days are the worst. Byun points to the tattoo parlor, “Well, you know where to find him.”
Chen is cleaning his tools when you enter, and he greets you with his usual smile. “Hey, princess. Visiting so soon? Well, not that I mind.” There’s a sly edge to his tone now, as he leans in to give you a peck on the cheek.
You grin back at him. All you want lately is to see him, every minute feeling longer than the last when you can’t. Being with him makes you calm and excited all at once, and you savor every second with him.
As if you’ve gotten addicted to him.
As if you’ve fallen in love with him—
What a dangerous feeling to have. You know how these stories end, all too well. You’ll fall head over heels in love with this mysterious person and you’ll be ripped apart faster than you can blink. He’ll rip you apart.
He’ll trample on your heart and you’ll be abandoned.
So you have to keep this feeling a secret, no matter what. Just keep smiling like you’ve always have, and you’ll be able to stay next to him. Never take him too seriously, that way you’ll never be hurt.
“Wanna go for a drive, princess?” Chen asks, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you close. Good thing the AC is blasting, or else you would’ve turned into a puddle by now. Still, the garage is much too hot.
“You sure? What if a customer comes?” You raise a brow at him as he begins to lead you out. Chanyeol isn’t here as he usually is, you notice.
“It’s fine.” He answers casually, dismissing it with a shrug. “They’ll be back.”
For the tattoo or for him, you wonder. You wouldn’t be surprised if he gets some returning customers just because he has a pretty face. “Alright then, your call.”
He leads you outside where his white Nissan Skyline is parked. His car is always polished to perfection, several of his designs drawn across the hood and doors. It’s a perfect display of his artistic skills, the white of the car acting as a canvas.
But...wait.
Something’s wrong.
As you get closer to the familiar car, you clearly see that the windshield glass had been shattered. Not only that, but there are several long, deep scratch marks that stretch over the side of his car.
You gasp at the sight, knowing how much this car means to Chen. You glance at him, afraid of his reaction.
You feel a icy shiver roll down your spine, your skin prickling in fear. You’ve never seen Chen look that way before. His face is calm, so calm, but it’s cold. His eyes are filled with a chilling anger, the silent kind, the most deadly kind. Like a snake bidding its time before it sinks its teeth into its prey. The kind of look that insinuates the calm before a world-wrecking storm.
He doesn’t move for what feels like an eternity and a second all at once. Then he carefully fishes his phone out from his pocket, dialing a number and smiles. “Hey D.O. When you’re done with your work, could you take the white Nissan Skyline away? Yeah, you know the one...uh huh...no, I want it destroyed.”
“What?” You gasp, clutching onto his arm to stop him. “But that’s your favorite car! It’s just a scratch, it can be fixed!”
He glances at you, such an frigid look that makes you swallow thickly, your grip on him loosening. He ends the call, slipping his phone back in his pocket. “Fixed?” His voice is soft, but there’s a terrifying edge to it. He chuckles darkly. “No. Something broken can never be perfect again. I don’t need anything that’s not perfect.”
Then he walks away, hands in his pockets and humming a tune like he didn’t just destroy his most prized possession. Like nothing just happened.
You shiver—tremble—feeling your knees go weak. It’s only a matter of time before you, too, will be thrown away like that.
So you must hide these feelings.
Deeper.
Deeper.
“You know who did it?” Chanyeol asks taking a long drag from his cigarette.
Glancing at Kai, Chen nods. “Probably the guys from the last race.”
“Great.” Sehun sighs, rolling his neck, his dark puffy hair falling over his eyes. “I love dealing with sore losers. So what are we gonna do? Should we tell Suho?”
Chen wrinkles his nose at the thought, loathing the idea of a scolding. Hey, it’s not his fault this world works like this. You gotta live somehow, even if you break all the damn rules. “Let’s not. Suho’s been plenty busy himself. They just keyed my car, no biggie.”
“No biggie?” Chanyeol raises a skeptical brow, tapping his long fingers against his knee, the cigarette ashes falling onto the ground. “You loved that car, man.”
“Loved.” He repeats, the word quiet and heavy. A shadow passes through his eyes, a look the others know all too well to comment on.
“So what are we gonna do?” Kai asks, tilting his head at Chen. “I’m not about to let some fucker trample all over us like this.”
Chen grins, a mischievous glint appearing in his eyes. “If they want a rematch, so be it.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Kai scowls. “We don’t do rematches. Our turf, our rules and they lost.”
“Yeah, well, if they’re gonna be stirring up trouble, I’d rather you guys have a rematch rather than fucking each other up, you know?” Sehun grins. “It’ll make my job heck of a lot easier.”
“Fuck that.” Kai says, but Chen only laughs, slapping his back a few times.
“Chill man; I’ll do the rematch myself. I’ll take on a hundred of those bastards if I have to—I’ll still win, fair and square.”
“What a load of bullshit.” Chanyeol snickers. “But I’ll enjoy it for sure either way.”
“Keep it on the down-low, ‘kay? Don’t leave us any messes to clean up. Suho’ll be real fucking pissed.” Sehun says, earning an eager nod from Chen.
They’re still skeptical of this, of course. Chen’s been known to get into a lot of trouble—rather minor ones for sure, but trouble nonetheless. It’s rare to see him so excited about something when he’s usually so uncaring about anything. Still, it’s none of their business and they’re in no position to stop him.
“Alright.” Chanyeol shrugs, putting out his cigarette. “Go for it then.”
You walk into the tattoo parlor again, greeting Byun as per your usual routine now. This time though, Byun tells you that Chen isn’t here.
“What? Where is he?” Another race, perhaps? He doesn’t have his car anymore though...so did he get another one?
“Met up with some people.” Byun answers vaguely. “Don’t worry. You can wait here if you want, but it stinks like hell so I’d recommend you come back later.”
“Um,” you wring your hands against the skirt you’re wearing. “Who is he meeting?”
Byun let’s out a sly grin, looking up at you from where he’s sprawled over his counter. “What’s wrong? Scared he’s cheating on you?”
Your cheeks heat up immediately as you shoo away the very thought, appalled he would say such thing. “No! Of course not. I’m just...worried. He seemed really upset about his car, so...”
“Heh, I guess he is.” Byun shrugs. “He went to have a rematch with those jerks from the last race. He said they were probably the ones who keyed his car.”
You gasp, feeling a wave of anxiousness as you recall the faces of those racers. They didn’t seem to take their loss lightly—if keying Chen’s car is any indication. They’d probably do anything to win this rematch. “Where are they meeting?”
“Whoa there, calm down.” Byun waves his hand at you. “He’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”
“Please, Byun.” You grab his arm, unconsciously digging your nails into him. “I’m really, really worried. Please tell me.”
He winces, seizing your hands quickly in attempt to pry you off. You can see the boys in the garage start to take notice, stopping with whatever they were tinkling with to stare at you.
“Okay, okay! I can tell you, but it’s not where a good girl like you should go. And you can’t do anything even if you go anyways.”
“I’m really not a good girl, Byun.” You say, forcing out a tight smile. “I don’t care about anything, I just want to see him, make sure he’s okay.”
“Well,” he sighs, giving in. He rips a piece of paper from a notepad, scribbling down an address. “Here. Just...I warned you, alright? And Chen isn’t the type to change his mind easily.”
You clutch the paper tightly, thanking him.
You’re not the type to change your mind easily either.
“Well would ya lookie here.” The man from the race hollers when he gets out of his car. What was his name again? Damn, maybe Chen should’ve made an effort to remember their names before calling them up. “Who would’ve thought the cheater would want a rematch? Feelin’ guilty, boy?”
Chen smiles, swallowing the desire to laugh his ass off. Guilty? Him? It should definitely be the other way around, right? “You’re the sore loser here. Can’t take a hit and now you’re calling me a cheater?”
The man scowls, grabbing Chen by the collar. He’s as strong as he looks, but all brawn and no brain.
Chen quickly puts up his hands in a sign of surrender, the smile still on his face, unfazed. “Hey, now. Let’s just have a rematch fair and square. That’s the best solution, right?”
With a scoff, the man shoves Chen back, a confident grin growing on his face.
A red flag for trouble.
“Sure, pretty boy. Let’s have a rematch fair and square.” His friends start to giggle behind him, and Chen mentally rolls his eyes. Yeah, he knew they’d have some underhand tricks up their sleeves. He’s still confident he’ll win though and even if he doesn’t...well, he tries not to think of that right now.
“Rules?” He asks.
“None.” The man answers, gesturing towards the dusty road that stretches on into the distance. “Just get to the finish line.”
Well, his turf, his rules. Chen shrugs and begins to get into his car when he sees a taxi pull up nearby. Odd, he thinks, this place is pretty secluded.
But then the person that gets out makes him nearly choke on his own spit, and he gets out again, jogging towards you.
“Yo, where ya goin’?” His opponents yell after him, but he ignores them for now. He grabs your arm, pulling you to face him.
“What are you doing here?”
He looks shocked, and maybe even angry. It’s a stern expression you’ve never seen on his face before, but you stand firm and stare back at him. “I was worried.” You glance at the parked cars, and at the familiar men with several new faces. You turn back to him. “You gonna race him?”
“Of course.” Chen answers, scoffing. “No one messes with us and gets away scot free.”
“I’m coming too.” You say, resolute.
“No you’re not.”
“I am.” You pull your arm from his grip, storming your way towards the car you recognize from EXO’s garage. Chen follows you closely, a string of complaints that go unheard. You get into the passenger seat and slam the door closed.
“The fuck!” Chen yells, knocking on your window and tugging at the door handle to get it open. “Get out! This isn’t your race. Get the fuck out, now!”
You ignore him completely, turning away. Chen continues like that for a while longer before the opponents begin to grow impatient.
“You racin’ or what?” They snarl out, eyes narrowing on the two of you threateningly. “You makin’ fun of us?”
Chen stops, but continues to stare at you. Even without looking, even with glass between you, you can feel the heat of his glare. He takes a deep breath, perhaps to stop himself from breaking the car window, and finally slips into the driver’s seat.
“You’re going to fucking regret this.”
“I won’t.” You answer.
You see the race flag being raised, and the sound of the starting gunshot rings in your ear.
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The Art of Sin Mini Masterlist
EXO Customs Collab Masterlist
A/N: After a bazillion years, things are finally kicking off now. And between you and me, I’d hang on real tight. :)
Summary: Never did you think that the sparrow birthmark you had since birth would lead you to be thrown into a world filled with vampires. A world where you found yourself falling in love more than once and a world that you would try your best to run from.
One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six |
Jongdae’s grin grew and he pulled you into his arms. His warmth and scent surrounded you like the most comfortable blanket. Hugging him wasn’t something you thought could handle at the moment - you were too weak so it overwhelmed your senses and stopped you from thinking straight. But you needed his embrace. You needed it more than air.
And even if you didn’t want to, you needed Jongdae.
But you wanted to need him.
And that was the thing with love.
Now, you just had to deal with Yixing when the two of you got back because even though you and Jongdae were going to get to a resolution, you didn’t know if it would be so easy for you and Yixing.
“Wow, look what that cat dragged in,” Baekhyun purred the moment the front door opened. “I knew you’d come back for me.”
Yixing rolled his eyes, placing a hand over Baekhyun's mouth quickly and pushing him along down the hallway. Baekhyun visibly struggled and pointed in your direction before he disappeared with Yixing.
You looked after the two boys, wondering when you would get the chance to speak to Yixing again.
You needed time to settle before you could even think too much into it though.
You looked over at Jongdae who was eyeing you nervously. “I guess I’ll find my way to my room,” you mumbled.
He opened his mouth but closed it again and nodded slowly. He was nervous and you could tell by the way his fingers were picking at the hem of his shirt. The man could be so confident when he needed to but around you, he lacked the ability. You knew that you were the cause of it and it made you fuss with your hands nervously.
The other boys were nowhere to be seen but you assumed they were still in the house since you could smell each of their scents but you had a good inclination that they were going to avoid you for a bit and give you some space.
For that, you were thankful. The last thing you needed was their overwhelming presence when you were trying to steady yourself around Jongdae.
Jongdae didn't follow or speak as you wandered off to your room, but he sighed and you weren't sure if it was relief or annoyance.
The only thing you had in your hands was one of the flowers from Jongdae. Nothing you had in the life you lived for two years seemed of importance since everything was bought for necessity so you left it all behind. There was nothing to be sentimental about and strangely, you thought this house was more sentimental for you than any other item you owned.
And well, it felt like home. Especially with the scent of Jongdae and Yixing clouding around you.
Things with Jongdae may have been complicated, but shit, they were even more complicated with Yixing. The boy you shared a bond with but yet he wasn't your mate was hard to make sense of. Not to mention the fact that his soulmate mark was so eerily close to yours.
At the end of the day, the feelings which you tried two years to fight weren't worth fighting anymore and you undoubtedly loved both of them.
Even so, you knew there was no choice to be made. Jongdae was yours and you were his no matter how much you still felt for Yixing.
After all, who was the one that brought you back?
…So how did you get over him? How did you move on from the first person you ever loved?
Yixing came into your world in a time of confusion and angst. He showed you love in simplistic and beautiful ways where Jongdae came in with what he thought was a hurricane of romance- it turned out to be a hurricane of asphyxiation. Yixing didn’t make or expect you to love him. With all that being said, maybe it wasn’t true love at all. Was true love founded by just needing comfort? You needed a safe place and Yixing was that.
With the smell of Yixing dwindling, you thought about getting over him. You stupidly assumed time would be enough and you had plenty of that.
But in the deep rational recesses of your mind, you also knew there would be a lot of heart ache for what seemed black and white, was filled with vibrant shades of blue.
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
For two full days you slept and you assumed it was because you were near Jongdae. For the past two years, you never got more than 3 steady hours of sleep but now you slept peacefully. No more painful nightmares haunted you anymore.
Upon waking up with heavy eyes, you were groggy and since the boys hadn’t woken you, you were hungry. Not just for blood but for actual food too.
Hell, you hadn't remembered the last time you even had blood bank blood or a proper meal.
You had showered for what seemed like hours that morning and as you cleansed your body, you could no longer feel your bones. All of your curves were returning but you knew that only his or his blood would make your body really repair. The latter of which was no longer an option. Because instead of dreaming the past two nights, you spent your time mulling over what you were going to do with your relationship with Yixing.
If you were to live this life, you would have to live it peacefully and that would only be done if you left the feelings you had for Yixing behind because almost all you could think about was Jongdae. You could feel his heartbeat while you slept, for crying out loud.
Well, you sometimes felt Yixing’s too… but that wasn’t allowed to be included in your mind.
Jongdae was the only option for healing and while you weren't sure that feeding from him would be something you could handle right now, you had considered it.
It seemed you were miles ahead of where you were two years ago.
The distance made you love so much harder than when you had been close to him. Leaving Jongdae was a stupid decision and you knew it but it made you come to terms with the way your life had panned out.
After you dressed yourself in some of the clothes that had remained perfectly folded in your dresser, you went to sit down in the chair by the window but a knock to the door startled you.
Opening it slowly, your eyes touched a face you hadn't recalled seeing in a while. “Kyungsoo,” you said gently.
He nodded in your direction, Minseok at his side.
“Minseok,” you greeted.
“Good morning,” he smiled as he passed you a cup of what could only be blood. “From Dae.”
You took it, wondering what the point in declining was. You took a sip, feeling the warmth slid down your throat as Minseok raised a brow. You shrugged, “I ran for too long,” you responded to the question he hadn’t even needed to ask.
His blood had a way that made your cheeks tingle. Not many times had you drunk the bitter infused blood that belonged to Jongdae. You were more adapted to the sugary sweet that Yixing was. If only you had a taste for sweets but your soul was outlined in dark chocolate and black coffee so Jongdae's blood fell so perfectly in line with your palate.
“Are you giving up?” he asked.
“I think running was giving up actually. I don't really see myself as a victim anymore. I had freedom and well…it’s a long story.”
You had freedom but even though you ran, you still stayed close enough to them. You never ran too far because you knew you could and you knew you didn't want Jongdae to die.
“Can we come in?” Kyungsoo asked, holding a couple of medical supplies.
Nodding, you let them come in while you sat in the chair by the window. “Go ahead, Kyungsoo,” you gestured to the things he had.
For a moment, he stared at you and maybe he wasn't expecting you to agree to something that hadn't even been explained but then he approached you and sat the supplies down on the table. He surely wasn’t going to question you and you weren’t sure if it was for lack of care of because he just didn’t think much about it.
“Kyungsoo is trained well to take blood,” Minseok explained, “Yixing isn't really in the best shape to do it himself.”
“Why?” concern was sure to be etched into the wrinkles of your frown.
Minseok looked distressed, “He isn't really healing. He, like Jongdae, didn't do well when you left and while he continued to intake blood, he worsened with Jongdae. You are back and that helped Jongdae but well, Yixing refuses to stay in our house.”
Kyungsoo was in the process of swiping an alcohol pad across your skin when your body jolted forward. “Because I’m here?” the alcohol pad fell to the ground but Kyungsoo ignored it as he opened another one. “What was the point of coming back if I was going to make someone leave?”
“So they didn’t die, Y/N.”
“Yixing won't die just because I leave, Minseok.”
His eyes flitted away, “I’m not trying to stress you out but I think you may… don't make that face - just listen,” he demanded, “I think you may be mated to both of them and Yixing is trying to keep his distance because of that. He wants to prove otherwise but we aren't convinced. Even Jongdae is worried.”
You sighed, clutching your fist as Kyungsoo asked you to do so, “So I sleep for two days and all of this is unearthed?”
“We came to this conclusion a while ago.”
You scoffed, “And nobody came to the conclusion to let me know?”
He stared you down, “You were unreachable – on the run from both of them, what makes you think that even if we could get to you that it would make you come home? When you left, you kind of left the impression that you had no regard for either of them. Regardless of if Yixing is your soulmate or not, you know he loved you.”
Hearing the words out loud from someone like Minseok made them hit even harder. Yes, you knew that you loved Jongdae and Yixing but you tried not to include how Yixing felt in that. Which, you had to add, was entirely thoughtless on your part. To think the feelings went both ways made the implications of your actions hit harder. Everything you did was hanging over you and you felt terrible but, hell, you deserved to feel terrible. Regardless of how you felt, you hadn't taken in account the feelings of those around you. You wanted to blame it on being young but you were old enough to know better. You couldn't decide for someone else if they should have you in their life or not. Especially when they had never done anything to hurt you. Jongdae and Yixing were doing everything to make you happy.
“I know you have no idea where to go from here but please take my brothers into account with your choices.”
You hadn't even realized that Kyungsoo had pierced your skin when you looked down and saw the red liquid flowing through the syringe and into the vial. “How do I fix anything without hurting one of them?”
Minseok shrugged, “I can’t help you with that much. Maybe you should talk to Jongdae.”
“Speaking of, Y/N, this blood is for him, I assume you know that,” Kyungsoo stated. You nodded in confirmation, “Are you okay if we take some for Yixing?” Without hesitation, you nodded.
“Let me know if it helps him,” you said softly.
“And if it does?” Minseok pried.
You sipped on Jongdae's blood, “I haven't really thought that far.”
And you hopped it didn't. You hopped you hadn't mated with Yixing because you wanted him, you loved him, and he was a good friend to you but at the end of the day if you had to decide who you were more linked to, it was Jongdae. Every thought of it hurt you.
It hurt because you knew that meant you would cause more hurt and you loved Yixing enough that you didn’t want to hurt him.
Things would have been much easier if you hadn't come into their life but there was nothing to change that now. There was nothing to take back the night you should have stayed home to study.
But you had to be honest, would you go back if you could? It seemed your life had more meaning now, even if it hurt.
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
Three days of Jongdae's blood and you were back to normal. Or whatever normal was for you at this point.
Were vampires normal?
It was a bright Monday morning and you could see the warmth of the sun through the blinds and you swore you could feel it from your place in bed.
Before you could even lift the sheets, a soft knock sounded on your door. Instead of getting up, you just called out, “Come in.”
Jongdae peeked his head in the door, a nervous smile playing on his lips. “Good morning, I’m sorry to bother you this early… uh, I was just wondering if-"
“Jongdae, you can come in,” you said softly.
You swore you saw his cheeks turn bright red. “Ah.”
He pushed the door open wider slowly and walked in awkwardly while scratching his neck. He was adorned in a black button up with a nice pair of light distressed jeans that fit perfectly over his muscular thighs. He looked good, and you felt your eyes continuing to pass over his body as he waited for you to stop. “I’m sorry,” you words came out in a stutter.
Jongdae let out a small breath, “I’m sorry for waking you,” he hadn't decided to call you out and for that you were thankful.
“I was already awake,” you shrugged what should have been nonchalantly but you knew you were stiff as a board.
Jongdae's eyes fell across you as you began to sit up and you watched as he struggled to look away, “I know you just came home a few days ago but I wanted to know if you wanted to go out for breakfast?”
“Go out?”
The slight confidence he had seemed to gain, fell, “I mean, not if you don't want to.”
Shaking your head, you stood and smiled at him, “No, that sounds really good.”
Jongdae smiled again, “Okay, yeah, that’s awesome. I’ll let you get ready.”
He turned around but before you could leave, you called out for him. He paused, looking at you from over his shoulder, “Yeah?”
“Is this… is it a date?” you asked.
Jongdae quickly shook his head, “No, I mean, not unless that’s what you want. If not, just completely a platonic friendly outing.”
You held his gaze, “I would like if it was a date. I would like to try…that.”
It had been on your mind for a while. When you were away from him, you constantly dreamed of his embrace and affection, so you wondered what it would feel like. You wondered if you could just live happily alongside Jongdae. Surely, you had forever but would it hurt to start now?
“Try?”
“I want to try to be normal, Jongdae. A normal couple. Even if we have to start from the bottom.”
He wanted to say more but you could tell he held back and for that, you were thankful. “Okay. Everything will be at your pace then, if we’re gonna do this.”
“Maybe it should be at your pace?” you replied quickly as he began walking.
This time, he laughed softly, “If it's my pace, I will smother you.”
You shook your head, trying to fight the fear and worry deep in your heart, “Smother me then, Jongdae. It's been a long two years and I know we have forever but I want to get everything figured out. I want to feel it all from you because I wasn't giving you a fair shot before.” You walked closer to him, “I don’t think you know this but I was running from you, sure, but I still stayed close. I was calculated, staying far enough away that I deteriorated but I always stayed close enough to keep us alive. I know it's not much considering I hurt us both by staying away and you even more so but it's something you should know. It wasn't the bond that kept me close but it was you. And I want you to know that.”
He reached out before dropping his hand once again, “I knew,” he whispered, “I could have caught you anytime I wanted to. I have to be honest, the only reason I came to you was because Yixing was dying and not because I was. You stayed close enough to keep us alive like you said and while I selfishly wanted you back, I also selflessly wanted you to live how you wanted. Even if it sucked.”
Dying? What did that mean? Yeah, Minseok said he was off bad but he had left out a crucial piece of information.
“He won't tell you for himself but when you left, the effects on him were worse than me. I was still making it every day, even though I was weak, but Yixing was and is starting to lose himself even with being closer to you now.”
You felt your eyes start to water and all you could feel was the deep ache in your chest that told you it was your fault. “I thought, I mean I guess I didn't think. I only imagined it would affect you which is why I tried to stay close. I guess I didn't stay close enough. I don't know what to do to help. The boys told me he was sick but they left out the dying part.”
Jongdae reached forward once more, this time touching your chin gently and sending jolts through your skin. “That being said, I want you to think about everything again. I want you to consider what you want from me and consider how you feel for Yixing.”
“Wait. Are you saying you would just standby if I wanted Yixing?”
He nodded.
“Jongdae, I love Yixing,” Jongdae tried not to flinch but you saw it and it made you flinch, “don't get me wrong but I want to be with you or at least, that’s what my heart is saying. That being said, I won't let Yixing die but I also know that you are the one I choose if I have to.” And you had to.
Jongdae's hand glided over your cheek, “My worry is I give you my all and you decide you love or want Yixing more. That's my only hesitation. Now, I do love you and it would hurt if you wanted Yixing but I could manage, I think, maybe. If I give you one hundred percent, I can't go back, Y/N.”
And again, you knew you loved Yixing but you knew where your heart was. You knew whose feelings you felt more and you knew who you had thought the most about. That was Jongdae without question. You just had to decide how to help Yixing without being with him.
“I’m going to help Yixing but Jongdae, please give me your all because I fully intend to give my all. I’m not going to consider even pursuing Yixing so don't let me down, either. I don't think I can match your intensity from the start because I’ve never had a relationship with a man like this but if you show me, I can learn.”
Jongdae nodded unsurely, his fingers pressing against your neck, “I hope you can handle it.”
Your pulse raced against his fingers. “I can.”
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
He was supposed to take you to breakfast but instead, he took you on a detour.
“I’m not trying to test you or anything. My intentions are good with this, I assure you,” he said as he pulled in front of a bricked house with bright green vines cascading down the sides. “I think you should stay with Yixing for a couple of days.”
Jongdae had parked the car but you remained still in the seat, not looking in his direction. “You brought me out to have me stay with another man? I thought we were going to breakfast?” you weren't upset, but you were confused. You told Jongdae you were sure and while he said he wasn't testing you, it sure felt like it. He was just going to leave you alone with Yixing?
“Listen, he needs help. We just want to know if you can help him. Stay with him a couple days. Figure things out with him while you’re at it,” his expression was pained but he tried to mask it the best he could.
“We agreed to do this Jongdae. Don't talk like Yixing is still an option.”
His shoulders fell in defeat.
“You don't trust me,” there wasn't a hint of anger in your voice, just sadness as you realized that he didn't and probably wouldn't – shouldn’t, trust you for a while. “So why bring me here? Shouldn't you keep me in your sight?”
“If I trust you, I want to trust you from faith not because I’m keeping you under lock and key. Besides that, I just want my brother to be better and if that means you guys need to hash it out, figure out if you are mated or whatever, I don't care. I just want us to stop suffering.”
You hurt him so much – too much. You wanted the suffering to stop too which is what made you nod your head and grab the car door handle. “Will you be back for me?”
He nodded, “If things work out that way. I just need you to be sure, my love. Please don't spite me for this. I just need us to all be sure before we get in too deep.”
“I think about him occasionally, yes, but I always think about you. Just know that nothing will change that because nothing did before.”
Reaching across, you splayed a hand over his cheek, sparks engulfing your skin. Jongdae jumped from the contact but his hand came up to cup over yours. It was slowly that you moved your lips closer to his and every second that ticked by, you were terrified that he would move but that feeling quickly washed away when you felt him close the distance that remained. His lips engulfed yours as his hands made their way to your cheeks. Your hand dropped from his face to latch itself around his neck as your knee dug into the gear shift that kept the two of you apart. Jongdae let out a noise when you pushed closer to him. He sunk his teeth gently into your lips before pulling away and pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“Thank you,” he said softly.
“Thank you for loving me.”
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
As you climbed the steps to the house that Yixing was staying at, your heart felt heavy. You could feel him the closer you got and it made you nervous.
Upon the realization that you had mated with him, made everything even more confusing especially when you had to take into account the symbol on your hip. The one you were trying hard to ignore and trying even harder to conceal. There was speculation that you had mated with Yixing and there was evidence on your body, even though you pretended there wasn’t.
The dark garnet sparrow had shifted to an amethyst slowly after Yixing had first fed from you. For a while, you thought it was your mind messing with you but when you had finally ran away, you realized how evident the new shade really was.
How could you be mated to two vampires? Hell, it was still hard to believe you were mated to one – for you and all the vampires in the house. Your once human self shouldn’t have been destined for a vampire, let alone two. You defied odds more than you liked and it made you reminiscent on the times you wanted to live quietly. Your sister was the wild one who wanted the thrill of passionate love and you were reserved as you reached out for knowledge. Love was the last thing on your mind and now you were surrounded by so much you swore you may drown in it. And while it didn’t make things better, you knew that was why you had run away.
Life had surely gotten more interesting and in the time you were away, and the short time of being back, you realized that you had wanted love. You wanted Jongdae to engulf you the way he wanted to two years ago. The game changer was being mated to Yixing because you knew that moving on would be even more difficult.
It made you wonder who you were really meant to be with.
Was life that cut and dry?
Was love that cut and dry?
Did you have someone you were meant to be with?
Was loving Jongdae a coincidence or did it happen because it was supposed to? And loving Yixing? Did you only love him for the space he filled in your life?
You had a lot of questions and while you didn’t ask them to anyone particularly, you knew even if you did that nobody would have an answer. Your heart was the only gateway to answers and it wasn’t always the best at giving you clear answers.
Before you even reached Yixing’s door, you knew he didn’t want to see you. You felt it in your bones that were currently shaking – well, they felt like they were.
For the record, you wouldn’t have been seeing Yixing had it not been for Jongdae and for the idea that Yixing really was dying. You were really trying to get over him and focus on Jongdae but seeing him would make it harder. Yixing didn’t hurt you, Yixing didn’t do anything to you that you didn’t want nor did he ever treat you ill but not wanting to be with him boiled down to the simple fact of who you thought about more. Jongdae was engrained in your head and it made you feel bad for Yixing. The unsuspecting casual in this battle you never wanted to fight. There was little hope in you that Yixing had a true mate somewhere in the depths of the world. He didn’t deserve not to have one that was solely his.
You didn’t knock before wrapping your hand around the door knob to the house. What was the point when he wouldn’t answer?
As you turned the door that wasn’t locked, it occurred to you that you had no idea what you were doing here. Jongdae didn’t give you much to work with so you assumed you would at least focus on getting Yixing home and to drink some of your blood. From there, you would see what you all could do.
Mates could just be platonic, couldn’t they?
Platonic wasn’t a word that fit for you and Yixing anymore though and you wondered if there would ever be a time that you could be.
The moment your eyes saw his frail body, you cracked. Tears fell from your eyes and without thinking, you slammed the door and ran over to his slumped figure sitting in the dinning chair. He flinched when you got near so you hesitated, dropping down in front of him.
“Yixing.”
He had seen better days, in fact, you had never seen him in such bad shape.
“What are you doing here?” he managed to creek out.
“What are you doing here?” you copied.
He gave you a look, “Do I answer that?”
“You should come home, you need to heal,” you said gently as you reached out for him. He moved his arm back away from your hand.
“I’ve tried healing here and it’s not working.”
You nodded, “Okay, well you can heal better at home. Where your family is.”
“Where you are,” he corrected. He was being short and withdrawn but what did you expect? You could see exactly what you had done to him.
“Yixing-”
He shook his head, “No, listen to me. I’m not an idiot, Y/N. I watched Jongdae lose his mind over you for the past two years. Even knowing that you were close and that we could bring you home, he was constantly in a frenzy over you. He cared about nothing – nothing, when you were gone. His hobbies, his family, his work – none of it mattered when you were gone. I watched him heart broken, every second of the day because you wouldn’t come home. And he didn’t want to get you, he wanted you to come but yet, you never did. He was suffering physically and as he did, so did I. I too, was thinking about you often but I don’t know that I was as crazy as Jongdae. I missed you and I was sick, but I wasn’t in the shape he was. Honestly, I know how much he loves you and I’m not sure I will ever compare and that’s saying a lot, because I do love you. I’ve loved you since the second I laid eyes on you and it’s a fucking nightmare. But when you were gone, I hurt a lot less. Now that you’re back, it hurts so bad all over again and I think I’d rather die than feel that way. I’d rather die than hurt because the person I love isn’t meant for me. I don’t know how to handle it, Y/N. I don’t want you healing me and making things better because it just makes me love you more.”
Yixing was eyeing you carefully as he finished speaking. You watched him carefully in response, noting the dark circles under his eyes and how shallow his once full cheeks were. “What do you need from me, Yixing? Tell me how I can make this better.” You had so much you could say, but that was the best thing your mouth and brain could form into a sentence.
“To keep loving Jongdae and don’t offer me another thought.”
“I’m not going to give up on you, Yixing. It’s not that simple. I got us into this mess and I’m going to figure it out now.”
He laughed sadly, “What can you figure out? You didn’t do this, Y/N. This was my fate. I loved you the moment I saw your face in the club a couple years ago. I loved you when I told Jongdae to leave you alone because I thought you were my mate. We aren’t in this mess because of you. I don’t know if anyone can be to blame because of what happened but we can blame how it happened. I never should have let you feed off of me, I shouldn’t have fed off you.”
You shivered at the thought. “And it’s already done. So what can we do now?”
He shrugged. “I just stay away from you. Far.”
“Yixing, you know what happens if mates are away from each other. We will die.”
Finally, he laid a hand on your arm gently, “Look at me,” he said sadly, “I’ll die. You have Jongdae and look at you, you’re okay.” You wanted to doubt everything. You wanted to doubt being mates, but you weren’t so sure there was a reason to anymore. It was evident that this was the hand you were dealt but that didn’t stop it from hurting.
His hand ignited a spark beneath your skin. You watched the sad expression on his face as he pulled his hand away. Of course he was right and that was something you never considered. You were fine and he was struggling. What it meant though, you weren’t sure.
Yixing readjusted himself in his seat, one of his hands reaching out for you and guiding you to stand. “We mated, Y/N. We have a different bond now but the only difference between us as individuals is that you were already mated which is why, I’m suffering and you are not. Obviously, your soulmate mark changing told you something was off.”
Your eyes snapped to his as you sat down across from him. “How did you know about that?”
“I wasn’t sure until your reaction just now,” an unhappy smile tugged at the corners of his lips, “I’ve been having dreams about it, though.”
And to think you had done so well at keeping it from everyone. “Okay, but humor me,” you started, “What does any of this have to do with you not coming home?”
“Don’t act like you don’t know the answer to that question.”
You folded your hands in your lap nervously. “I want to hear your words on it. I just want to know why we can’t co-exist in the house and be there for each other. Live platonically. Can’t mates be platonic?”
“Because we aren’t platonic. Maybe mates can be just friends. Maybe there are mates that don’t feel like this. Am I dismissing your feelings when I think you feel the same? Y/N, I can’t promise I love you the way Jongdae does, and I’m not going to act like we have a chance but I know that I do love you and if you feel any fraction of that, that’s why we can’t coexist. How can you love Jongdae if someone like me is there to make you second guess things? Even if you don’t second guess, you’ll try to live without hurting my feelings and that’s not fair.”
Several moments of silence passed.
It wasn’t as if he was wrong.
Coexisting with Yixing was possible to you but you knew if you did you would tiptoe across every action between you and Jongdae and you and Yixing. You knew that you wouldn’t second guess being with Jongdae but somewhere in your heart, you would still yearn for Yixing… but then again, even if you didn’t make things work, you knew you would still yearn for him.
You don’t just stop loving someone, sometimes they shift their role in your life whether it’s good, bad or painful.
“And what, so you’ll die, as you are now?” you questioned, anger arching up your back as you tensed up. “I keep my distance until you are dead?”
He just closed his eyes, “What else do you want me to do?”
Well?
What did you want him to do?
“C-can we just try?” you stuttered out.
“Try what? I would rather die, Y/N. I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of hurting.”
“All you have to do is intake my blood and let me visit you every couple of days, can’t we do that?” the thought was spur of the moment but you assumed it was better than nothing. It wasn’t as if you could convince him to come home and it wasn’t as if you could all live together if he did come home.
“For the rest of our lives,” he said.
You raised a brow, “What?”
He looked away, “We would have to do that every couple days for the rest of our lives. I know you’re new to this immortal thing but that’s a long time Y/N.”
“Then we can do it for a long time,” you said firmly.
He laughed, “Forever is a long time for unrequited love.”
You scoffed, “It's not unrequited,” the words fading out towards the end as you realized you hadn't meant to say that out loud. You hadn’t meant to sting yourself with a slap to the face and you hadn’t meant for it to touch Yixing too.
“But it will be. The more and longer you love Jongdae, the more insignificant I’ll be.”
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, “I don't have any solution for this other than just trying. Can we just try to live like this? Should we give up before trying? It's not like we all aren't hurting anyway.”
The one thing you had brought with you, you pushed across the table. A dark blue thermos filled with a couple of dozen ounces of your blood. You just hoped it would be enough to heal the injuries you saw peeking out from underneath his long sleeved shirt. Part of you didn't want your blood to be able to heal him because that meant maybe you weren't actually mated to him – but like he knew, your soulmate mark was a heavy indication of the near definite mateship.
His hand clasped around the thermos, “Thirty days.”
“What?” you questioned with furrowed brows.
He flipped open the lid, “I’ll do it for thirty days and if this arrangement doesn't work out, I’m going through with my original plan.”
Once the lip of the thermos was against his lips and you saw the red stain his lips, you crossed your arms, “I'm not going to let you off yourself. I’m not going to let you cause harm to yourself and if you were in my shoes, you would feel the same way.”
Yixing scoffed as he continued to drink. It didn't take long for his skin to start rejuvenating, especially with the power of healing that he had. It was beautiful to see his skin return to the shade it once had been and the light returning to his hair.
Once he had finished the last bit, he pushed the thermos back towards you. “You should go.”
“Yixing-"
“Please. You’ve done all you can to help right now. Come back in a couple of days.”
You wanted to be friends. You really did. But you also knew it would be hard, if not impossible right now.
It would be hard when you were trying so desperately to love Jongdae while saving the man who saved you.
To avoid causing any more pain, you grabbed the thermos and nodded. “Okay but you have to promise me that I have thirty days and you won't do anything stupid in that time.”
“What could I do? Run away like you did?”
You shot him a glance but you couldn’t be mad when he tested your limits on that. “Yes. Like you basically already have.”
He stood, gesturing towards the door, “You have thirty days. I’ll be here for all of them though. Don't expect me to come home and let the boys know that as well.”
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
What exactly were you going to prove to him in thirty days? It's not as if you had some master plan. All you were going to do was bring him blood and provide him with some company for about an hour every couple of days. You had no plan to mend your hearts but you hoped that there would be something you could figure out. There had to be a way for you to all live happily together.
There also wasn't a way you could force someone to get over you. Or to force yourself to get over them.
Jongdae helped with the latter though. That night after seeing Yixing, you felt drained and Jongdae took you out to dinner.
It wasn't overly fancy for which you were thankful but it was a nice enough local restaurant that they served red wine which had become one of your favorite drinks when you spent your years away from Jongdae.
It was the only thing that could help the ache in your heart.
You sipped greedily while Jongdae watched you with a smile. “I didn't know you were quite the wine enthusiast that you are.”
You sat the glass down, twirling it in between your fingers on the table, “It's a new thing for me. It's a weird feeling when I drink. I think it's almost more like a high than a drunken state. Which is not what I remember it being when I wasn’t, well,” you gestured to your body, “like this.”
Jongdae hummed, “I always wondered what being drunk was like. For us, alcohol doesn't have the effect that it has on humans. We don't throw up or lose control. Like you said, it's more of a euphoria. Like sitting on a cloud.”
You laughed quietly, “Have you sat on a cloud?”
He narrowed his eyes, ”No, but if I had, I assume if would feel a certain way.”
Shaking a hand at him, you smiled, “That's like the opposite of being drunk. When you’re drunk everything feels funny. The world around you is spinning, you can't control what you say or do, and you almost always hit the ground hard. There is a small high but always a big low. Getting drunk will make you feel really bad at the end of the night. Well, for humans. It's hard to explain.”
“And you have a lot of experience with this?” he asked with a curious smile. “I thought you always had your head in a book?”
A smile ghosted your lips for a moment, “Some nights I just really missed my parents and I wanted to numb everything. I only did it a couple times because I realized every time that it would only make me feel worse. I’d have flash backs and miss them even more.”
He sighed, “I’m really sorry. Weren't you scared that would happen again?”
Looking down at the wine glass, you shook your head, “When I was away from you, I kind of needed to see them. Of course, I was slightly disappointed that alcohol didn't affect me the same way anymore but I realized it was for the best. I have a long time left to live without needing to live in agony.”
“I’m sure it's hard without your family. My parents are very distant with me and the boys. They aren't the nurturing type but regardless, it’s always nice to see them. I couldn't imagine not having that option.” For a moment, he reached out to calm your other hand that was shaking nervously against the table, but he stopped going to place it back on his lap underneath the table. You stopped him, reached out and grabbing his hand with your shaking one. The sparks made chills wash down your spine as Jongdae relaxed.
“I told you, you don't have to hold back,” you whispered. “I'm not afraid anymore.” But you knew the last part was a lie. You were scared. Scared to love and scared to be loved since it wasn't something you ever accepted lightly. But it was no longer Jongdae that you were afraid of. You trusted him somehow. And maybe it was because he took you to Yixing, maybe it was because he let you run away and only came after you because Yixing was dying.
If anything, Jongdae had done more to earn your trust than to destroy it.
He only made one mistake and that was by turning you – which was more an accident than mistake now that you looked back on it. What could he have done differently – fate had locked this in a long time ago, it seemed.
“Maybe I’m afraid, Y/N. Have you considered that?” he teased but you could see a sliver of truth through the space between his lips.
“Don't be. I returned quickly from him didn't I?”
He nodded once, “You did.”
“Do you know why?”
“Because he made you leave?”
You cracked a grin, “Okay, that is part of it.”
He rubbed a thumb across the back of your knuckles, “What's the other part?”
“I missed you.”
His eyes darkened as a small spread across his face but it dwindled as he looked at you for a moment. “I’ve always been worried…” he trailed off momentarily. “I know I always told you I loved you because of you and not because of the bond. I worry that you won’t love me for anything other than the bond. So I’m going to do everything I can to make you love me for me.”
You squeezed his hand, “Thank you for that but it seems like you’re already doing a good job at that”.
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
You slid the thermos over to Yixing and he gave you a nod, “You can go.”
Glaring at him, you clenched your fists. It was slightly enraging you that he wasn’t trying to continue your friendship but you knew you had to keep it in. Your feelings weren’t fair. You weren’t allowed to feel anything close to anger when it came to Yixing. You did this to him. You had caused this. And fuck, did it hurt and just intensified all the anger you shouldn’t have been feeling in the first place.
“Y/N,” he said firmly, “Go.” His hand gesturing towards the door.
No “Hi, how are you?”, no “How’s the new job?” nothing other than “Go”.
It stung. You felt the brunt of it as you watched him look away when you went to the door, his face expression neutral. Surely, it was part of the ruse. He wanted nothing between the two of you since love couldn’t exist and you forced yourself to understand.
While you would make the friendship work the best you could, you knew he couldn’t see it that way. He slept alone at night and you had started to share a bed with Jongdae – things were just different. If it wasn’t love, what did Yixing get from you? What could he get from you if not your love?
It was apparent, that you had nothing to offer him.
Maybe if you could have remained as just friends then you could offer him companionship but companionship with someone you love or loved wasn’t easy.
Every thorn that stuck out from the broken bond between you and Yixing was sticking straight into your heart. Even after leaving him, you had an echo of pain.
If it would have been possible, maybe you could have died from the pain of Yixing’s pain. He really was your mate because every sting of pain he felt, you felt too. It was as if everything you felt had a drop shadow and it was etching deeply into your skin.
He feigned indifference but you felt the opposite of that and maybe that’s what made it hurt more.
That night, you cried in Jongdae's arms. It was the third time you had delivered blood to Yixing and you almost didn’t want to go back. Jongdae held you as you shook with agony and you know it scared him because you could hear the nervous tick in his breathing as he tried to rub your back to calm you. Jongdae may have been your mate, but there were things he didn’t know about you like how to calm your antics. The only person who knew was your sister and Yixing. Which only made you cry more.
Eventually, after two more bad visits to Yixing, Jongdae picked up on his own way to ease your tears and panic attacks. He had to hold you so tight that he could nearly break you before your breathing would slow and the tears would start to dry. Gentle kisses to your wrists were the final calming seal to his remedy and for the night, you would be over crying over Zhang Yixing.
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
When you weren’t being a blood bank for Yixing, you worked at a children’s hospital in the neonatal unit.
The job had presented itself and while originally Yixing was going to give you a good recommendation for a hospital, this one found you.
Jongdae was enthusiastic to watch you live the passions you had always dreamed of and you couldn’t help but notice how he stared lovingly at you when you told him about your day. Regardless if that day was spent with hope or agony, you always spent your night in his arms. Sometimes crying and sometimes laughing.
Realizing how fragile human life was, was painful and it made you reach out to your sister who Jongin had no problem hunting down. It had been so long since you had gotten in contact with her, that she moved cities in fear that you wanted your space from her. In the time, she had occupied herself with working as a hair dresser. Thankfully, she was doing okay and you realized with a huge huff of relief that you loved your sister. You didn’t always agree with her and the two of you had your differences but being away from her for so long reminded you just how much you needed her. She was all you had left of your parents and you needed to cling to each other. Although, you wondered how the vampire thing would affect things.
You made a point that you would visit her soon and you had high hopes that maybe at this point in your life, you and your sister could really connect. She was all you really had underneath the cloak that was vampirism.
“Jongdae, do you want to visit my sister for a couple of days next week? I know it’s really spur of the moment-" the words were coming out in a jumbled and panicked mess.
He looked at you over the book he had been reading, his eyes soft and glistening, “You want me to go on a trip with you?”
As you nodded, the book slowly slipped down into his lap. “She doesn’t live far and I think it would be nice to reconnect.”
He nodded, “Okay. I’ll look into the area to see what I can do while you guys visit.”
Before he could pick up his book, you cleared your throat, “I was going to introduce you to her.”
Jongdae froze, expression stuck midway in an unreadable look. “What?”
You scratched the back of your neck, “I know I’ve only been home for a couple of weeks but I’d like to introduce you to her. I don’t think I should really hide you at this point.”
“As what?” he paused.
“What?”
Jongdae licked his lips nervously, drawing your attention to his sharp lips. “Like what are you going to introduce me as?”
“As my boyfriend?” you asked in response.
He blinked rapidly, “Oo-kay.”
You froze, “Should I not?”
He shook his head frantically, standing and the book smacking against the ground, “No, no. You should.”
You stepped towards him, “Are you my boyfriend?” you asked in confusion.
A nervous but steady laugh sounded in his throat, bubbling past his lips. “Do you want me to be?”
This time he took a step forward as you avoided eye contact and a small, “Yes,” escaped.
“I’ve never really been a boyfriend,” you heard him smile as his hands clasped your cheeks and pulled your gaze up, “but I assume it’s no different than being mates. Although, I guess if we have a human title, I’ll have to turn up the romance, right?”
You swallowed and shrugged your shoulders.
“Does that make you nervous? Romance with me?”
You shook your head, “You make me nervous,” you whispered.
There was a small growl that came from Jongdae as he pulled your lips less than an inch away from his. You were holding your breath for a moment, but exhaled as you moved forward and pecked Jongdae on the lips. He smiled in surprise and rubbed your cheeks tenderly in response, “You make me nervous too.” He pulled you into a tight hug, “What makes me even more nervous is meeting your sister. I’ve never met family before. I feel like I should as for her blessing or something.”
And you just laughed as you pressed your face against his chest, “I think it’s a little late for that.”
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
You visited Yixing that day, and this made the eight time you had seen him in the three weeks you had been home. He was colder somehow each time but yet, you were happy to see how filled out he was. He didn’t give you much time to spend around him, but your blood was taking care of most of his ailments.
You clutched the thermos in your hands nervously. You were seeing him about two to three times a week so it had been a couple of days since you last came.
You opened his door easily, walking slowly into the hall and slipping your shoes off but something made you stop. Your hands gripped the thermos tighter as this time you smelled someone that wasn’t Yixing. Someone you had never smelled before. You slowly raised your head and were met with dark doe like eyes and light hair. He smiled at you but the smile was one of confusion and you couldn’t bring yourself to mirror it.
“Y/N,” he called easily.
The thermos dropped from your hands, Yixing appeared and caught it before it could clatter against the ground. You caught his gaze, his once gentle eyes were constantly harsh on you and you had to force your fingers to clasp the thin fabric of your pants to avoid trying to touch his face. He was close, probably the closest he had been in a while and it had you shuttering.
But you weren’t shuttering because it was nice for him to be near, you were shuttering because it ached. You felt his pain bouncing off inside your head and flushing straight down into your heart. You felt your own agony twisting and tightening with his and it made you want to grab your throat to stop the feeling of your esophagus closing in.
He moved away quickly though, his scent breezing heavily over your face as he moved. “Go now,” was all that fell from his lips as he turned his back to you. Maybe if he could look at you it wouldn’t feel like he was stepping on your chest. The more he fought his true feelings the more the echoes hurt.
The other man cocked his head, “Let her stay for a moment, Yixing.”
He shook his head, “For what?”
The other man sighed, and began to whisper furiously.
You were frozen in your spot, unable to slip your feet back into your shoes as you watched the banter.
It took only a moment for Yixing to send chills down your body by roaring, “Go.” His voice caused you to jump and the anger that he was exuding, coursed through your veins.
The other man smiled at you sympathetically, tightly closed his lips and then waved at you.
You couldn’t even manage to put your shoes back on, so you picked them up as your tears dripped onto his tile entryway and you fled, leaving the door wide open in your wake.
“That was mean,” you heard the strange man hiss. “Did you have to make her cry?”
But you knew this is what you deserved. You couldn’t even fight back because at least Yixing was alive and well. At least he was following your request for the full month but you knew, the time was nearing an end and with the looks of things, you didn’t know what was going to happen.
You could feel both of you aching but even so, you didn’t want the easy way out. You wanted Yixing to hang on but as you thought about it, did you want him to hang on selfishly?
You got home in a fury of tears. Baekhyun was the first one to see you, equipped with a remark about your short shorts when he froze mid cat call upon seeing your tears. He dropped the bagel he was holding and shook his hands like he didn’t know what to do. You tried to avoid his gaze as you hurried up the stairs and straight into Jongdae’s arms that were unfolded as he rushed out of his room.
“Does he have to be that cruel?” you heard Baekhyun ask from downstairs.
“Says you,” Sehun snorted.
Minseok sighed, “I guess he does. He says he is doing well now but he doesn’t seem like himself. We are going to have to-”
Before you could hear anything else, Jongdae pulled you into his room. “My sweet Primrose, why does he hurt you so much?” He sat on the edge of his bed and pulled you onto his lap.
“I deserve it,” you muttered against his neck as you nuzzled into it.
He scoffed, “You have done nothing to deserve it. Okay? Yes, you hurt both he and I, yes you ran away from us, yes you mated and fell in love with him, but Y/N, was any of it purposeful? You didn’t run away on purpose; you didn’t hurt us on purpose. You were scared. You were human for twenty years of your life. The life with us was overwhelming, I get it. I was upset, mad at times and maybe my trust is a bit broken but never have I thought that you didn’t have the right to any of your reactions or feelings.” You pressed a gentle kiss to his neck as he spoke. “Besides, Yixing is grown, he knew what was going on just as well as you did – if not more. He knew the outcome but preceded with his actions. You do not deserve him shutting you out.”
You pondered on his words for a moment before speaking, “Maybe I do though. Maybe it’s the only way he can get over me.”
“So? What about you getting over him? What if this method doesn’t work the same for you? This is all selfish actions on his part.”
You pulled back and looked at Jongdae, catching his deep and serious gaze. “But we say that from the comfort of each other's arms. Are you biased because you care for me and are watching me in pain?”
“I may be biased because I love you but I’m also biased because this is not how I would have handled the situation.”
You shrugged; your eyes still wet with tears. “I’m hurting but I’m not sure how mad I can be at him for it. I don’t know if it’s changing my feelings for him though, so if that’s the goal, it isn’t working. If it changes his feelings for me, maybe it’s what he wanted.”
Jongdae slides his hands underneath your shirt, sparks igniting against the cells of the skin on your back as his fingers travel up your spine. “We have to live like this for a long time, how long is he going to be causing you this pain for his own volition?”
You shivered at his rapidly moving touch, “Who knows. You’ve been really good at comforting me since, though.”
“For the woman I love, I will do anything.”
Pausing for a moment, you thought. Jongdae and you had made a lot of improvements in your relationship and you had felt ungodly safe with him lately. Maybe it was the situation with Yixing, maybe it was just Jongdae but you felt different. You were enjoying being engulfed by Jongdae even if he hadn’t smothered you all the way he said he would. He was going easy on you and for once, you wanted him to be a little less gentle. You weren’t sure if Jongdae was drinking enough to be satiated but you knew you were increasingly giving Yixing more blood and it was making it harder for Kyungsoo to get enough since you hadn’t been drinking enough from Jongdae either.
There were several times when Jongdae offered to feed you but there had been very few where you had offered for Jongdae to feed from you and it just felt right in that moment.
You didn’t give yourself time to think too much into it before you lifted both of your hands to cup Jongdae’s face. He smiled in surprise. “Would you want to feed from me?”
The smile went flat, nearly falling from his face, “What?”
“I want you to feed from me.”
His eyes widened in shock as everything from before started to come to his head. Last time he fed from you, you fled. You knew you were asking something terrifying but you hoped he had gained enough trust to know this time you weren’t going anywhere. You genuinely liked Jongdae, your vampire boyfriend/mate that you were learning so much about. He was the softest, sweetest and most passionate vampire that ever existed you thought. He was gentle with your feelings and was always so quick to make sure you were okay.
This time you wouldn’t leave and you didn’t know how you could say that to him. You weren’t scared of anything other than hurting Jongdae at that point.
“Baby,” he said gently, causing you to have a fit of chills as he used a pet name you hadn’t heard in so long, “Is that really something you want?”
Pressing a gentle quick peck to his lips, you smiled, “Yes.”
He nodded slowly, “Okay. This is something that will be at your pace though because if I take it at mine, I will surely scare you away. I’m not losing you again,” you began to protest but he shook his head, “Uh, uh, don’t even bother.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
You kissed him once again and his fingers dug into your spine as he let out a groan.
“But not like this.” Jongdae pulled you back to the headboard of the bed, he leaned back against it, situating you on top of him, either of your thighs pressed into the sides of his. “This is how I want to feed,” he said with a smile.
You scoffed, “I thought you said my pace.”
He raised a brow, “Do you get to pick the position I feed in? You’re offering up your blood after all.” He leaned forward, kissing your ear before whispering, “is there another way you’d prefer me?”
You swallowed a moan as you felt yourself clench in response. Quickly, you shook your head and offered your neck to him.
“No foreplay, you just want to get straight to business?” he asked with hooded eyes.
You were trembling underneath the touch he hadn’t even placed on your skin so when he actually put one hand on your waist and one hand on your shoulder, you thought you would crumble.
“You ready, my love?”
You let out a small, “yes” and Jongdae’s fangs pressed gently against the skin of your neck. He teasingly ran them over the skin there several times, giving you hundreds of thousands of goose bumps.
“You smell so divine, it is such a pleasure to be this close to you,” he whispered before kissing your skin and then piercing his fangs through your skin.
Euphoria washed over you as you leaned further into Jongdae, feeling his growing member beneath you. He let out a moan as his arm fully snaked around your waist and pulled you closer to him. You were dizzy but in the best way as your lips pressed kisses to where they could while he continued to feed. Your thighs ached as you felt wetness soak your thin underwear and there was no denying that Jongdae with his vampiric senses would notice and you knew he did the moment, he groaned so loudly you figured the whole house could hear it. He was rock hard beneath you and it was turning you on even more, causing you to attempt to squeeze your thigh together but just squeezing around Jongdae in return. You swore you could cum just from the feeling of his fangs inside you and your core wouldn’t stop tingling. It was the most you had ever felt from a feeding yet and it was driving you crazy. You wanted to rip Jongdae’s clothes off and fighting the urge was getting harder.
Finally, and disappointingly, he pulled away. Groaning and try his best not to thrust his hips up into you. He was dazed when you pulled your face to his so he could kiss you. His tongue immediately shot out to cradle yours and you tasted your blood on him. You couldn’t pinpoint its taste so you made a note to ask Jongdae about it later. You wondered what you tasted like to him.
“Your turn,” he panted when he finally pulled away.
“What?” You asked in a bout of confusion, head fuzzy.
“Please bite me, baby.”
Rolling you over, Jongdae pressed you into the mattress and exposed his neck to you. “Press your fangs into me. I want to feel it, please.”
It didn’t take much more coaxing before you pressed your lips hard against the soft skin of his neck.
“Bite me,” he commanded with a harsh voice that held no sense of patience.
You obliged almost as if you were under his spell, biting hard and fast as your fangs sunk into his beautiful skin. You sighed the moment you tasted how bitterly sweet Jongdae was. Jongdae couldn’t hold back the urge to moan your name or maybe you thought, he didn’t try to hold it. Surely you loved when he called you love or his Primrose admittedly, but you really loved hearing your name on his lips. Especially like this.
It was different than the way anyone had ever said it and it made the sparks that jolted against you when he touched you, ignite you from the inside out. You breathed in heavily, taking in his scent while tasting him and you were sure you could overload just on that. He whined above you, causing your body to convulse in response. He couldn’t hold back from thrusting against you when your tongue brushed against the skin on his neck and immediately, he apologized, his voice thickly laced remorse and arousal in the hardest battle for his sanity. You didn’t need the apology as you tried to roll your hips up towards him, which made his lips let out the prettiest curse you swore you had ever heard.
It took every fiber of your vampiric - and left over human being to try to stop yourself. There wasn’t much of a reason behind the impulse to stop but even if the blood sharing drove you to lust, you decided that when you would be intimate with Jongdae again, at least for the first time, you didn’t want blood to play a factor. Things may have started with blood but that didn’t mean it had to revolve around it. You wanted to desperately love Jongdae as humanly as you could and since you never got to fall in love with him as a human, you still wanted to experience it the best you could.
You couldn’t forsake being a vampire but that didn’t mean you had to forsake the human parts of you that still existed. The human parts of you that just wanted to fall in love purely.
Maybe it’s because you worried the vampire part of you was all that fell in love with Yixing… or maybe that was your human part. You weren’t sure of much anymore.
You were just sure that you wanted to remember what being human was like and that was enough to help you move away even though Jongdae’s blood was urging you to continue.
Pulling away with a heavy gasp for air, you met Jongdae’s eyes. For a moment, he was covered in a dazed expression but as it faded, he smiled at you and then pressed a gentle kiss to your lips.
“What are you smiling about?” you said narrowing your gaze but not being able to hide the smile that grew over your blood stained lips the Jongdae proceeded to wipe with his thumb.
“The amount of control you instill in me,” he looked off into the distance for a moment before looking back over at you, “I know that I didn’t have control when we met, but I’m learning now…” he trailed off and sorrow passed over his face, “I’m sorry about that by the way.”
You hummed, “For turning me?”
He simply nodded and bit his bottom lip with his still extended fangs.
“Yeah. I wonder how different things would be if I were still human.”
“Do you miss it?” he asked in a near whisper.
Pursing your lips, you shrugged. “I know I did at first but I’m not exactly sure why. Why was I so obsessed with being human? Humanity is what killed my parents after all and the more time that passes, the more I’m okay with it, I guess. The blood part and mate, still hard to adapt to but I mean, you felt for the place on your hip, “I guess this is what was meant for me.”
His eyes darted down to your hip where the amethyst sparrow that neither of you wanted to physically see in the moment was. It was too hard to see the deep shade of purple it had become over the past two years. “I’ve always wondered about that, you know? Like why was a human my soulmate? I’ve tried to do my research but Minseok is the one who has the time to knowledge base to find out more. We have met several vampire mate pairs, all of which natural born vampires but it’s not like any of us have met our mates yet so maybe we’re different or maybe you’re different?” He pondered for a moment before slipping off of you and sliding down next to you, pulling you into his chest without any sort of protests from you. “Are you sure your parents were both human?”
Furrowing your brows, you stared up at what you could see of his face, “I don’t know much about vampires but I know enough that inter-species can’t conceive together.”
“It’s not heard of but neither was a vampire and human mate pair.”
You let out a shaky sigh, “To find out about why we exist like this, I think we'd have to look into my parents life and death and I don’t know that I want to do that. I’m sure though, maybe it would help. Maybe something is different and that’s why… that’s why…” you shivered. “I mated with Yixing too.”
You felt Jongdae tense for a moment. “Yes. Maybe it has to do with that.”
And then a light came on as you pulled away from Jongdae, nearly jolting out of bed, “Maybe we can find out and stop Yixing from doing something stupid. Maybe we can break whatever this is, without hurting each other and figure out what to do and if Yixing has another mate? Maybe I’m a glitch and something screwed up Yixing because of me.” You were up and pacing the floor of Jongdae’s room, continuously sticking your finger in the air as more came to you.
Jongdae smiled, coming to meet you and grab your hands, “You said you’re a glitch and screwed up Yixing.”
You raised a brow, “And?”
“You didn’t say anything about me.”
Your eyes narrowed, “Jongdae?”
He let out a sigh Of relief, “You don’t think we’re a glitch or a mistake.”
Laughing, you squeezed his hands, “Of course not.”
He nodded and you realized what he was getting at. He pressed an excited kiss to your lips, “I’m not worried about you and him anymore. You love me. I can feel it. You believe this is as real as I do now.” And you knew he could feel it because having a mate made you sense things about them and it made your heart flutter because it was true. You loved him and believed things with him were meant to be. You believed that this was your fate and that somewhere Yixing got mixed up in the mess.
But like you could sense and feel Jongdae’s feelings, you could feel Yixing's because you had definitely mated with him in a mix-up and you started to feel pain. You pushed it back the best you could though, because Jongdae was happy and you wanted him to continue to be happy.
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
The next time you saw Yixing, things felt different. Your counted every step as your heels hit the ground and your hands shook nervously – those were all normal things. Seeing him made you nervous because he had been rejecting you so harshly since you came home. What was different was the air. Everything felt much more heavy but you stupidly decided to ignore it, and well, you ignored it for a long while.
Your fist raised midair to knock but you were surprised when the door opened and you were met with Yixing. He looked rough but you tried not to meet his eyes as you held the thermos with the least amount of skin that you could, barely any tips of your fingers touching the steel.
His eyes shot down to the thermos and you extended it further out to him. “I’ll just go as soon as you take it.” You knew you wouldn’t be able to give him much time to heal if you did but what else could you do? Could you fight him every time he forced you to go? No, you couldn’t and you wouldn’t. You were doing your best and while you had caused this chain of events, you were trying to make things better. You couldn’t continue to live in the past where you made mistakes because it you did, you would never live forward.
“You don’t have to go yet,” he replied softly. “Stay a moment.” He grabbed the thermos from you and gestured for you to come inside, making you flinch in the process.
Frozen, you finally caught his eyes. The bags were accented with deep purples as Yixing hadn’t got to heal the way he should since he wished you away before you so much as said a single word.
Slowly after he walked inside, you followed after him.
For a moment, he smiled. It wasn’t enough for the dimples in his cheeks to show but it was enough to give your twisted stomach a glimmer of hope in the dark tunnel you felt sucked into.
“I want to say I really appreciate you bringing me blood so often,” he said as the two of you stood in his living room. “It’s been really helpful.”
You nodded slowly, “That’s kind of my job…” you trailed off shifting your weight from one foot to another. Out of the corner of your eye, you watched Yixing drink down the thermos gratefully. Your stomach continued to twist as he finished off what was left of your blood and the silence feel over you like a drawn curtain.
He let out a sigh of relief, “I’m sorry.”
Your gaze shot over to him, “What did you say?” you squinted in his direction as if he was the bright sun beaming down on you.
“I’m sorry.”
“Okay? Is this a general apology? I’m confused.”
He smiled, almost as if he was peaceful, “Don’t be. I’m sorry for everything. Past, present, future.” The last word coming out slowly.
You nodded once and then twice. “I’m sorry as well.”
But the conversation stopped there because that’s all he needed to hear before enveloping you in a hair raising hug. His scent was the same as it always was and it made your heart race. You didn’t feel at peace in his arms the way you made have in the past but you still felt all of Yixing's emotions and you were sure he felt all of your conflicting ones. Love, regret, pain, sorrow, forgiveness. You weren’t sure what was the strongest emotion of his but you knew that yours was sorrow. Sorrow because you couldn’t love him enough. Sorrow that you hadn’t yet figured out what was going on and how to fix Yixing but you didn’t miss the small portion of you that held hope. Hope that fixing Yixing would be quick because you didn’t want him to hurt anymore and you didn’t want to either.
When he pulled away, you watched as his brows furrowed and furrowed a couple times before he held your gaze tightly. “I really really loved you.”
You wanted to ask why it was past tense but you figured that it was best to leave that hanging in the sky with the rest of the questions you never had the courage to ask.
And then he leaned in and you felt all the breath in your lungs escape.
Yixing was trying to kiss you.
You sucked air back in, in a quick huff. “Yixing,” you said gently before turning away from him.
Disappointment was the next emotion you felt and then after several seconds, relief. His lips pressed firmly against your cheek after what you were sure was internal debate.
“That helps,” he said to himself.
When he backed away from you, you felt like your heart was going to leap from your chest. Your palm pressed against it. “What helps?” you asked.
He just nodded and you wondered just what the fuck had come over Yixing.
When you looked at him, he looked nearly better. Almost perfectly well but behind the health and the smile he portrayed, you knew that he was nervous and it made you nervous.
“I should get going,” you said before he could force you out.
And with one last look at exasperated but smiling Yixing, you turned on your heels and hurried away from his apartment.
Suddenly, you didn’t want to see him any time soon.
The kiss had left you feeling weird and you thanked every single fiber in your body that you turned away because you could never forgive yourself if you let him kiss you in any other way than what he did. You could never face Jongdae if you broke the trust you just gained.
Sighing, you went home and prepared for your trip as your stomach gurgled nervously.
A storm was coming.
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
You saw your sister for the first time in what seemed like forever and you couldn’t help but run towards her, arms outstretched as you left Jongdae behind, carrying your bags and letting out a small laugh.
She hugged you tightly as she pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek in the same place Yixing had.
You guys had never been incredibly close but it didn’t matter anymore. Nothing she had ever done mattered because even though she was broken and you had a broken relationship then, it was now and now you truly had an idea of how important family was.
Looking over your shoulder, you knew she had caught the glance of Jongdae the boy she hadn’t heard much about but somehow she called out his name and both of you looked at her in surprise. You pulled back from her as she regarded him with eyes you could only explain as those of a mother who just saw her first grandchild.
Jongdae outstretched a hand to your sister, shaking it firmly and giving her a wicked happy smile. “I’m Jongdae, Y/N's-"
“Mate,” she finished for him.
Your hand clasped over your mouth before you froze, looking at Jongdae in worry.
“I know about the two of you. I know what you are,” she rolled her neck around, “I have hunter blood after all.” She said as if it was supposed to mean something.
Jongdae let out a shaky sigh, “You’re a hunter?” he looked back at you in fear, grabbing you and bringing you close to his side.
She scoffed, “Hunter blood, Jongdae. Not a hunter. Let’s go sit down and have a chat,” she urged as she led the way out of the airport.
Jongdae wrapped an arm around you tightly and followed your sister, “I have no idea what’s going on.” He answered the questioned you hadn’t even managed to get out.
“How does my sister know what we are? What does she mean hunter blood Jongdae?”
“Vampire hunters are real, Y/N but it’s not a choice, it’s something your born as. Almost not human although they are exactly that. The difference is strength and the intense desire and willpower to kill us.”
You had so many questions but Jongdae shushed you before you could ask anymore.
It was silent the whole ride until you arrived at your sister’s house. It was surprisingly extravagant for her and you wondered who she had hooked around her pinky to get that kind of hookup. You immediately cursed the thought though, you needed to stop so harshly judging your sister.
She had you guys sit across from her on her couch as she sat in an armchair, crossing her long legs over each other. “I’m sure you have a lot of questions.”
“Are you intending any harm on her?” Jongdae asked curtly.
Your sister huffed, “She’s my sister. Whether we are half blood or not, she’s my sister. We have the same blood regardless – yes, hunter blood.”
“I don’t understand,” Jongdae said.
You rubbed your eyes a couple of times, not understanding anything that had even transpired since after you hugged your sister in the airport.
“I guess I should start from the beginning,” she let out a sigh, “I’m sorry we have to relive their death for a moment, sis. Settle in,” she gestured to the two of you who were practically on the edges of your seats, “this may be a bit of a story.”
You braced yourself.
“We will start back with our lineage. We come from a long standing line of some of the most successful Hunters, which oddly enough was our birth last names. I was born six years before my sister to our mother and my father. Our mother had long forsaken the hunter life years before I was born after meeting a Lord vampire. I’m not exactly sure how they became close but they did and somehow even though our mother loved him, she still married a Hunter who actively was hunting when she got pregnant. Unknown to her, of course. He tricked her. Pretended to be different to get close to her for the Lord vampire but well, this Lord was strong and when I was two, my father was killed by him. From there, our mother had become closer to the Lord that had killed our father. Even though he killed the father of her child, she loved him. To her, it was a service since she didn’t want the Hunter life and it was all my father wanted. It was easy to say she was in love with the Lord but yet, three years later she was pregnant with my Uncles baby. The man who looked just like my father but was sweet as any person could ever be. He didn’t want to hunt and even he, became somewhat of a companion to the Lord vampire. The defied odds and were probably the first Hunter-Vampire friends to exist. They were like closer than blood could ever make someone. They were closer to the Lord than they had been to each other, sadly enough.
I don’t think our parents ever fell in love and their relationship was more of one of convenience because our mother loved the vampire. It would have been easy for them just to be together, our mother and the Lord, you may think,” but she looked at Jongdae, “I’m sure you know that they in fact, could not. A Lord doesn’t have to be alone but a Lord cannot be with a hunter. It would only kill our mother if they tried to live in their love,” when the two of you flinched your sister nodded, “it was tragic for our mother either way. So she decided to do they only thing she could to make her happy and that was be a mother. Which is where you came along of course. The Lord was around the be a father, the way he probably always dreamed of being.
“It was when a group of hunters tried to kill us when I was ten and you were four, that our parents struck a deal with the Lord - something he wasn’t happy to do because he fell in love with our mom just as hard as she fell in love with him – but he agreed. He would give us a vampire mark to protect us. The mark had a few purposes, firstly when put on a human, hunters couldn’t see them, secondly, eternal life and thirdly, freedom for the generations to come from the burden of being a hunter because the mark would cause us to turn into a vampire and that would override the Hunter blood.
“Not all vampires are out to kill humanity and it’s more rare these days than ever but yet, all hunters are out to kill vampires and any outcast hunter to exist. Since our parents were outcasted so were we and it was basically like a bounty on our heads. The mark alone would erase the bounty and mask us since we would not be human or Hunter but in the weird place that is ‘marked’. But there was a price; our parents had to give their lives for it. The Lord vampire was strong and only the strongest can give a soulmate mark to humans, let alone those with hunter blood, but to do so, he’d have to have blood for it. A life for a new life. He couldn’t lose our mother instantly though so he was able to extend their time for a decade before they would die from an accident and in turn, he got one more decade with our mother. He loved her enough to take her life to save something she loved more than herself. He loved her enough to be in a weak state for a decade to hold onto the thin strings of our parents lives.
“He never had a mate, as a Lord vampire they aren’t like other vampires. He couldn’t bear children and he was subjected to a lifetime of loneliness no matter how powerful he is. Lord vampires are born randomly and I guess in some situations created but I don’t know much about that part. But again, they have no soulmate mark and no soulmate. They can fall in love, as this one did, but he couldn’t turn our mother because they don’t have that ability. Their powers are used entirely differently - geared more towards protecting humanity and vampires. One of the only things stopping him from turning our mother was us and they didn’t fall in love till it was too late and her life couldn’t be spared. Even if it could, she was a hunter and this was the only way things could end. He would have to get another vampire to turn her and that was basically giving her a death sentence himself. So he went the least painful route. One day, I hope I can meet him again so I can thank him. He loved her and he saved us. I’m forever in debt.”
“Did I cover everything?” she asked.
It was silence for several minutes as you guys tried to absorb everything she said.
“Mom and dad didn’t die in an accident,” you swallowed.
Your sister bit her lip, “They did. It just wasn’t what it seemed. It was fated that way. They did it for us.”
“Why didn’t you tell me all of this? Why didn’t mom? Why the hell am I finding out this late?”
“You were too young and I wanted to hide you from the truth as long as I could. You were safer that way. Not just that but I wanted you to be as normal as you could, while you could. But here you are, mated to two vampires.”
Jongdae wove his fingers through yours as your hands shook nervously, “You know about that?” he asked.
She nodded, “I haven’t been mated so my hunter blood is stronger the older I grow. When I mate, it will fade out with my human body but until then, I can read you like a large print open book.”
“Do you know how to fix it?” you asked shakily.
Your sister hummed, “Fix what part?”
“Me being mated to two different people.”
Her fingers tapped anxiously on one of her knees, “I don’t quite have the answer for that but I’m trying. It was obviously not supposed to happen. The problem is, your other mate probably doesn’t have a mate yet and you were accidentally somehow made one third his. Obviously, Jongdae is the one who is your mate and this Yixing wasn’t supposed to be but Lord vampire seemed to have slipped a bit when it came to you. Vampires are born with a soulmate mark but their soulmate is almost like randomly generated and can take centuries to come around. Either he did it on purpose or he slipped up from having a broken heart and distorted mind. Nonetheless, I know there is a way to seemingly reset Yixing where he keeps his mark but you guys lose your ties and yours goes back to normal. I think we have to find the Lord that did this though. They have the power to do something like this which is useful if a mate dies or the mate rejects the relationship, that kind of thing.”
“How do you know more about this than I do? Jongdae asked.
She shrugged, “You’ve had my sister for a while. I’ve had to do research. I’ve met some interesting people, lots of outcasts who had experience in the field before going rouge. I know one who may even be able to find us the Lord who bestowed this upon us.”
“How soon could we find him?”
Your sister looked at you tenderly and you realized how differently she looked in this light. You realized how smart and thoughtful she was. There were sides you never experienced with her and maybe it was because you weren’t seeing it. All the times you thought she just wanted to sleep around you came to the conclusion that maybe she was trying to find her mate or maybe she was trying to numb her mind from the burden of all the knowledge she had to carry. You made a mental note to apologize when you had a moment alone with her. “Maybe a couple days if we’re lucky. But it could also take years. Decades even because I have no idea where he is.”
“We don’t have decades. Yixing is going to try to off himself if we don’t get a fix. He can’t bare it much longer. I can feel it. Please, sis. Please help us find him as soon as you can.”
She nodded, “I’m your sister after all. I’m not going to let you suffer and I won’t let someone you love suffer. We are already working on it.”
“Thank you,” Jongdae started, “Thank you for finding everything out and telling us all of this. I had no idea. I don’t even think I’ve met a Lord vampire before much less knew they had the power to make a mate from a human… and a hunter at that.”
She smiled, “Our moms lover really was powerful.”
“What’s your soulmate mark? I’ve never even seen it before…” you asked. “All of these years and I thought I was just weird for my tattoo looking birth mark.”
Jongdae gave you a look, “I haven’t had to explain this to you but that’s actually a really personal question to ask. You shouldn’t really.”
Your sister shrugged, “My baby sis is really nosey,” her nose scrunched as she smiled, “Let’s get you and Yixing some help and then I’ll show you, how does that work for you?”
You agreed.
Lying in bed with Jongdae that night, you were overwhelmed. He held you tightly as you tried your best to process everything all over again.
“My mom was in love with a Lord Vampire,” and you let out a small laugh, “What are the chances?”
Jongdae kissed your forehead, “Considering we’re here, I’d say pretty good.”
“The boys will never believe this. I can’t believe this.” You laughed again, “I can’t believe I blamed you. This was all set in motion by someone else.”
He kissed you again, this time going for your lips, “I can’t believe any of it either but I’m thankful. Your mother was selfless and I’m disappointed I could never meet her or get your father’s approval.”
“You would have gotten his approval, clearly,” you smiled. “I’m really lucky that it’s you. I’m also really reassured you’re my true mate.”
His eyes searched your face, “No disappointment that the thing with Yixing is just an accident? Aren’t you disappointed that it’s not real?”
You shook your head, “No disappointment, just relief. I think though, I’m still trying to figure out what made me love him. Was it the accidental mating or was it just us?” you sighed, realizing it was not normal to talk to your mate about loving another man.
But Jondage nodded, not offended that you clearly still harbored some feelings for Yixing. “I think it’s okay if it’s not because the mating. It’s something pure and innocent. After everything, I’m not threatened by it anymore. Feelings are just feelings and if there is no action behind them, we are okay. I don’t think it means you love me any less. Sometimes life just tests us and maybe love can be apart of that. At the end of the day as long as you aren’t disloyal to me, is developing feelings really hurtful? Humans attach easily and after all, you were born one.” He shrugged.
You hugged him tightly, “I’ve never much have loved one man, let alone two so forgive me if I’m not good at this.”
Jongdae laughed and ruffled your hair, “I think you’re doing well, considering. Yixing on the other hand…”
“Speaking of… last time I saw him, he was weird, Jongdae. I’m a little worried. He welcomed me, thanked me, and then tried to kiss me. Which I deflected by the way. The most action he got was my cheek, just so we are clear. But it all was startling and a stark difference between who he’s been lately.”
He smiled, “I know he tried. I could smell him but I knew he hadn’t actually been able to kiss you and while it’s unfortunate for him, I’m glad. My trust in you was obviously rightfully placed. Did you want to kiss him?”
You shook your head, “Not even a bit. Not that he repulses me but it’s like my body knows and my heart knows that even if I love him, that I’m all in this for you. I don’t want to kiss him and ruin anything with us. It would only cause me pain for hurting you and I’d get nothing else from it.”
“Good,” and he kissed you again.
“But Jongdae,” you pushed him away, “he was being really unlike himself. Seriously, something feels off.”
But he shrugged if off, “My love, maybe he was just needing to heal or to test the waters. He needed to see what level you guys were at. What else could it be?”
You weren’t sure and that’s what scared you the most.
And then, you woke up in a puddle of blood and that scared you more.
Jongdae smelled it before you could wake him and jolted up. Blood coated the sheets underneath you and it was beginning to drip down onto the floor. Jongdae panicked, nearly screaming as he rushed to your aid. You were dizzy and sure that this was more blood than you had ever let anyone take or drink from you. In moments, Jongdae had you rid of your clothes to see where the blood was coming from and much to your surprise and yet, not surprise at all, your soulmate mark was marred.
The pain was excruciating and the smell of your own blood was starting to make you nauseous. Jongdae was shaking as he bit into his own wrist and put it to your mouth, urging you to drink without trying to jostle you around too much.
The bleeding didn’t stop though.
Your sister burst into the room, fear heavy on her face as she saw the scene in front of her. She whaled loudly and Jongdae looked at her for help.
“She’s losing too much blood Jongdae.”
“She’s not human though, this can’t hurt her,” he nearly screamed.
She shook her head, “It’s killing her. We have to do something. We need the healer. He’s the only one strong enough.”
Jongdae's hands were covered in blood and you tried to hold onto consciousness as you watched him smear the blood on his phone as he called Yixing. If he had the energy to be prideful, he may protest that he was enough to heal you but pride was the last thing on his mind. He called hundreds of times, he swore but the phone continued to go to voicemail. The last time, Jongdae nearly smashed his phone and you barely had the energy to stop him.
“He did this,” your sister whispered as her hands combed through your hair. “He removed the mark.”
“He what?” Jongdae screeched.
You gasped with every bit of fight you had left as your sisters face grew red with anger, “He removed it. Yixing must have trusted someone to remove it in hope it would break their bond but all it will do is kill her. He will come out alive and she will die. That’s why you don’t just remove the skin. It’s like he sent an assassin for her.”
“She can’t die though! I’m the only way she could die.”
Your sister shook her head solemnly, “This could kill her. Not because he’s her mate but because he is removing part of her being from existence. He has one third of her, that third being his mark and that piece of her can only be retrieved by a Lord. If he doesn’t heal her, she will die. And well, honestly, even then Jongdae, she might not make it. We aren’t talking just a wound. Part of her soul is being ripped away.”
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
"She's fucking dying! She's dying because you went behind our backs and did something fucking stupid."
Luhan scoffed, "She will be fine. They aren't truly mates so she will live, Minseok." Minseok threw his hands in the air. Luhan had no idea because none of them knew anything about this, which is why, Minseok wanted to insist into their thick skulls, why they didn’t do anything if they had any doubt.
"She's bleeding out, vampires don't bleed out in case you didn't know. A third of her is attached to Yixing and it's a long fucking story but you need to wake him up now because we can all feel her life hanging in the balance."
"He chose this,” Luhan put simply as it seemed the complexity of the situation wasn’t touching his head.
"And he wouldn't have if he knew it would kill her for crying out loud. Wake him up! He will go on a rampage if she dies and so will Jongdae and none of us want that. Bond or not, he loves her and we all fucking know it."
"Even if I wanted to, I can't wake him up."
"Let me see him," Minseok roared. Behind him, Junmyeon grabbed his shoulder firmly but he knew he was just as afraid as Minseok was.
They couldn't lose one, let alone two brothers if something happened to you. Not only that, you were apart of them now and they all cherished you like family. Even Baekhyun who was teleporting with Jongin to try to save you the best they could.
Yixing was unconscious, as expected. His skin was pale and he was hooked up to an IV drip that contained blood. Minseok rolled his eyes, nothing would help him heal the way you did. Pulling up Yixing’s shirt, Minseok flinched when he saw the mismatched skin where Yixings mark once was. They had grafted skin from his thigh and replaced the skin on his hip. Minseok couldn't imagine the pain it must have been. Or the pain that unsuspecting you were in.
Junmyeon paced, "He's the doctor. He's the healer. What the fuck are we supposed to do?" Junmeyon was concered and it was showing through his furrowed brows and anxious eyes. Some of them had basic first aid but it wasn’t like they had the power Yixing did.
And then Junmyeon snapped his fingers.
"We have some of her blood left, what do you think the chances are it will still work? That it could heal him enough for him to wake up and be able to help her?" Hope spread through his eyes, coating the broken vessels in them with white.
Minseok covered Yixing's soulmate mark back up, "I'm not sure we have much chance at all either way. Regardless, it's worth the shot. Call Kyungsoo and have him bring it over."
Junmyeon went to go do so as Minseok sat down next to Yixing, grabbing his hand firmly. "Oh brother. What have you done to yourself? Love doesn't have to be this painful." But he knew it was. Minseok had suffered once before but he would have never gone to such extremes. Minseok sighed. Yixing must have loved you more than any of them realized.
Minseok had fallen in love before but he had kept that story to himself. It was private - the love he had formed for a vampire girl that wasn't his mate and also wanted nothing to do with him.
Unrequited love hurt more than anything Minseok thought so if this is what Yixing did with requited love, Minseok was worried for his brother. What would he do when he woke up and still loved you? But Minseok knew it wasn’t fully unrequited. He knew you really loved his brother even if you had hurt him, all of the boys were coming to the final consensus that none of it was your fault.
You had been smart even if you had hurt Yixing. You told him to give you time to figure something out and as if you knew there was an solution, you had one before the thirty days you asked for were gone.
Yixing couldn't bare it though and instead of telling anyone, he went to their cousins who had a brood of human turned vampires who weren't nearly as experienced as they were. Yixing couldn’t even wait thirty days. He wondered maybe if that was Yixing's final ‘fuck you' to you but then again, that wouldn’t be very fitting of his brother.
Minseok sighed, why wouldn't Yixing be more honest with his suffering? And why didn't he think more before acting? Why wouldn’t he give you more time?
Maybe it had been too long since Minseok was actually in love. Maybe Minseok had no idea the effect love would actually have.
It didn’t take long for Kyungsoo and Chanyeol to make it back with your blood and Minseok could see the cackling fire that was ignited in the dark eyes of Chanyeol.
"I should fucking kill you," Chanyeol growled. "You wouldn't be too hard to get rid off."
"It's not worth it," Minseok heard Kyungsoo hiss at him.
Minseok clapped a hand over the shoulder of a tensed Chanyeol and he shot a gaze to the apathetic Kyungsoo. Across Kyungsoo's chest was the strap to a small rectangular cooler that had the remnants of your blood they had stored for an emergency - your idea, not theirs. A smart idea at that Minseok had nodded to himself.
"Now is not the time for a fight," Junmyeon stepped back into the room. "We can deal with this once they're both okay."
Chanyeol grunted, "As soon as he's better we need to bring him home. I can't stand to be in this house with, him." So yes, they may have been family but they definitely hadn’t gotten along in a while and for various reasons – Chanyeol and Yifan being at each others throats for something they never wanted to share.
"Are you guys that weak?" Yifan jeered from outside the room.
Junmyeon latched onto Chanyeol, "Not the time or place."
"We were trying to help," Luhan insisted. "He wanted to escape from this. What else could I have done?"
Minseok glared at him, "Come to us first."
Kyungsoo had the most medical experience beside the rest of the boys so he set up, ripping the old iv bag away from Yixing and setting up another one filled with your much brighter blood.
Yixing didn't move but when the blood started to flow into the iv, they thought they heard the smallest gasp come from Yixing.
He didn’t respond even when they thought they heard something come from him so they continued to wait. Their brother would respond. He would wake up and face them, maybe not as the same man, but he still would live. Your blood was going to heal Yixing and while they needed it to, it made them all flinch because they knew that the agony was not yet to end any time soon. This agony would last forever.
Although, it wasn't that easy.
A soulmate mark was only half of it. Feelings and care was the other half. They could exist alone because the soulmate mark didn't force you to fall in love. It was a bond that drew you together, but the rest of the work was done by the couple.
You hadn't loved Yixing because of the mark and he hadn't loved you because of it.
The color to his face started to come back and several sighs of relief sounded.
Minseok ached for his brother. The fact that you still had the power to heal him was going to weigh heavy on all of them.
"How long would it take you to figure out not just any blood would do to heal him?" Chanyeol spat.
Luhan looked down at his feet, "I had just thought if it was removed, that he wouldn't need that part of her anymore."
Kyungsoo let out a scoff and kept his eyes away from the others.
"No. All you were doing was wiping her from her existence, not his," Junmyeon replied.
Luhan crossed his arms over his chest, “But it doesn’t make sense. Isn’t the soulmate mark what binds them?”
“I’m pretty sure it takes more than that to sever everything on Yixing’s end. I’m also sure, their relationship will be all that much more painful so thanks, dick,” Chanyeol grunted.
And then, Yixing seemingly came back to life. Before he moved, his eyes shot open and Kyungsoo was the first to react, jumping away and covering his mouth before trying to regain his composure.
Yixing's eyes were the shade of molten amethyst.
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
You were barely breathing and your sister assured Jongdae that as long as you continued to replenish your blood with his, they could keep you stable till help arrived.
She didn’t know if that was true or not but the more she said it out loud, the more real it sounded.
They did their best to cover the bleeding but no matter how many times they changed the bandage, you still bleed through. They couldn’t contain it.
Jongdae was seconds from a full breakdown when your sister pulled the attention away from your purpling body. “So my soulmate mark,” she hadn’t wanted to reveal herself because it was personal but she had to take his mind off of things and this was all she had.
She had to take her mind off of her dying sister – the sister her mother died to protect.
Tugging at her sleeve, she pulled her shirt down revealing the black inked mark. It was hard to pinpoint the design. It wasn’t simple like yours and his but it was bold dots, and fierce stripes that wrapped around her shoulder.
And he had seen it before.
The breathe caught in his throat, “What are the chances of both of you…?” He trailed off. “You knew didn’t you?”
“That you’ve seen this before?”
He nodded.
She nodded back, “Yes. I’m not like my baby sister though”, she gestured to the girl grasping for life. “I’m a lot more fearful when it comes to my own life. I’ve spent all this time obsessed with hers and protecting her that I’m not sure how to deal with my own shit.”
Jongdae bit into his wrist when a timer went off and placed it back against your lips for your regular feeding that they had been doing every twenty minutes, “Wait, did you know she would meet me that night?”
“I’ve got the blood of a Hunter, so yes. I didn’t know that my own mate would be so close but then again, it wasn’t my top concern. I just needed her to be safe. The hunters were getting close to us and while I knew they couldn’t see us, I also didn’t know a lot.”
The conversation cut to a halt when you started to convulse and shake.
“She doesn’t have much time,” Jongdae said with a quiver as he felt your slowly heart bear. He felt you slipping away and it shook around his bones.
And then you stopped breathing all together. Jongdae’s ears started ringing and he started to get excruciating pain in his chest. His free hand grasped his chest as the other one cradled you to him.
“And neither do you,” your sister said as she looked at Jongdae in fear. “Hold on tight, Jongdae. Please.”
Giving one last look to you, she let out a shaky breath and hurried away. She hoped that you and Jongdae could hold on long enough for her to get some help but she knew it wasn’t promising.
She just hoped that her last moment looking at you, wasn’t now. You were all she had left and you had kept her going for so long that you couldn’t leave now.
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
Yixing was sitting up, in a cold sweat after several moments. He was confused what was going on and why his brothers were surrounding him at Luhan’s family home. He took a shaky breath, his eyes searching the room several times over.
“We don’t have time to figure any of this out,” Junmyeon spat to everyone around him that was whispering about his purple eyes. “Yixing we have to go.”
Kyungsoo started to pull the iv from Yixing when Yixing looked at Junmyeon with a confused and dazed look.
“What’s going on?”
“It’s Y/N. She’s dying Yixing.”
And with more strength than anyone thought he had, he pushed Kyungsoo away, detached the IV and nearly roared. To everyone around, his strength surpassed what his body showed.
“Where is she?” his heart sunk when he reached out for her emotions and felt nothing. It was blank and it made him want to fucking hurt someone. As her mate, he was able to feel her if he just reached outside of his own head but now, without the mark, their mating bonds were severed. Not just that but brutally severed. This was the most unconventional and painful way to severe ties but it wasn’t supposed to kill her. That’s not what he had seen in his research.
He was supposed to stop caring too but yet, in that moment, he realized how much he really did care. How much he still loved you even though his sparrow was gone.
Nothing had gone as planned. His soul felt dead without you and he was sure, angry tears found their ways out of the corners of his eyes.
Yixing wasn’t even sure he was going to be able to save you or how he could fix everything he had done but his mark was gone and if that’s what was going to kill you, how could he stop it?
How could he help if he couldn’t even feel you?
How could he help when he was killing you?
“Where is she?” Yixing cried, “I can’t sense her.”
Jongin appeared in a ripple in the room with Sehun and Baekhyun in tow, the two of them dazed and holding onto each other.
The brothers looked at Yixing, some spiteful and some with eyes heavy of regret. Junmyeon nodded to Jongin. “Sehun was able to locate them perfectly,” he said. “Jongin will take you, Yixing.”
When Yixing was transported away by Jongin, Chanyeol grabbed Luhan by his shirt, “I will fucking kill you if something happens to them.”
But nobody stopped him from the threat because they were all scared what would happen if you died. Not only would they lose you, a part of their family and their blood now, but they would lose two brothers.
Although, the majority ruled that most of them assumed they had already lost one in Yixing.
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
They appeared like a wavering wave length in space and your sister, taped her foot impatiently, until her eyes met Yixing's. “You’re a fucking lord?”
Yixing ignored her, not quite understanding before he searched for your body. His hand grasped against his chest, nails sinking into his skin through the fabric of his shirt. He felt nothing but agony and heart break when he saw your lifeless body. Jongdae was still unresponsive, his hands slack around you. His hands worked before he could even think, as he tried to get you some of his blood.
“I doubt that will work,” your sister said as Jongin paced nervously behind him, continuously glancing at Jongdae.”
It didn’t.
It worked for Yixing but then again, he wasn’t the one dying.
Yixing was crying.
He was crying so hard that his tears had turned to pure dark blood.
When that didn’t work, he pulled every fragment of energy he had to prepare to heal you.
“Yixing, I need you to save my sister,” she said, “if you need my blood, please just take it.”
Jongin gave her a dark look, before pushing her gently away and giving his wrist to his brother. “This will be fucking weird but just do it. I need them to heal.”
Your sister glared at Jongin for his sacrifice and it made her heart flutter that he truly cared for you so much. Sure, maybe it was mostly caring for Jongdae but part of your sister knew that they cared for you too.
Not only had your mother saved you but she had given you a family after losing your own.
Yixing wasn’t as strong as he needed to be, and he needed to save you so there was no hesitation when it came to feeding from Jongin.
He didn’t even care if it was weird. He was too focused on you. The love of his life. The only love he swore he’d ever have.
Jongin bit down on his fist, muffling a scream. He released it for a moment, face red and heavy breathing, “Why the fuck does it hurt?” when Yixing had started to draw blood from him. “I thought this was euphoric,” he complained.
“Jongin, what about you?” your sister asked interrupting his cursing.
Jongin's paling face had furrowed brows, “What about me?”
She grunted. “He’s a lord, and he’s going to pull too much fucking blood from you.”
“And what if it was you?” he grunted back.
Throwing her hands into the air, she shrugged, “It doesn’t matter, I’d die for her.”
“I'm not letting that happen.”
She cries out and fell to the ground as she tried to gather her emotions. She was in a room of dying people and nearly all of them were her family in some way.
Where was he? Where was the man that saved them? Where was her mothers true love?
She heard Yixing take in a deep breath and her head shot up, with tear stained cheeks, she saw Jongin struggling to breath, coaxing his wrist to close up as one of his hands rested on Jongdae.
Yixing was whispering under his breath as he draped his hands over your body. He held back the tears so he wouldn’t lose the energy he had taken from Jongin. He concentrated, long and hard. His eyes were tightly closed and sweat beaded all over his body.
Your sister was frantic, hovering over Jongin as she prayed for Yixing to save you.
“Please, help us, please,” she cried as she pushed hair from Jongin's sweat covered forehead. He barely even knew she was so close to him, that’s how out of touch he was. “Please.”
Yixing wasn’t strong enough so when praying for him didn’t work, she begged her mothers lover. She begged him to save her one last time. She couldn’t even worry about how selfish it was to expect the man who had lost your mother to come back and save the day again.
She thought of all the love her mother must of felt in all of the love she felt you feel for Jongdae.
And for a moment, she felt like something had tore threw her mind. She yelped out in pain, causing Yixing to lose concentration and for Jongin to come to, grasping her wrist as she weakened and fell unconscious.
Yixing swore but put his focus back on you before he felt a hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump.
The man behind him ushered for him to move and when he didn’t, he pushed Yixing roughly to the side.
“Do you want your woman saved or not?” he hissed.
“How are you going to help?” Yixing demanded.
He scoffed as he pushed Jongdae away and laid you out, putting his hands over your soulmate mark. Yixing cringed as the strange man touched you. “You fucking donut, I’m the one that put this here.”
The man’s deep purple eyes were so dark they nearly looked onyx but they glowed too bright to be.
“I see I’ve made a mess and you made it even worse.”
He breathed deeply a couple of times, as his hands pumped gently against your hips.
“If you could have waited a fucking day longer, I would have been here without making her sister pass out from a headache that could ultimately kill her, you know. I was trying to avoid, hurting them,” he hissed, “And you’ve caused my family pain. So we’re having a talk after this.”
He sighed and Yixing saw your body take a sharp and heavy breath. He reached out towards you and the man smacked his hand, “Uh-uh, leave her be.”
“What… who are you?” Yixing questioned, eyes barely leaving your body.
“Their father.”
Yixing pressed his fingers into his temples, “What?”
Rolling his eyes, he waved Yixing away as he moved to your sister, “It’s a long story. Obviously I didn’t actually father them. I’m a Lord, but I loved their mother and since they are all I have left, I’ve taken to them as if they are mine. But you see, my protection on them was so good that even I couldn’t find them, which is why,” he gestured to your sister, “that I had to hurt her.”
He worked his hands over her a couple of times before her breathing resumed. It didn’t take long before Yixing felt and heard four very shaky intakes of breath from his family.
“Speaking of, this small boy is going to have to turn her immediately when he heals or the hunters will find and kill her, and if that happens, I’m going to ruin your whole little clan,” the man growled and Yixing could feel the promise dripping from his words.
“What are you talking about?” Yixing groaned as his head really started to ache.
The man just sat down in a chair in the corner, “You’ve missed out on many details since you decided to act selfishly and on your own. You need to look in the mirror so you can see what you’ve done to yourself, because you’ve caused yourself a lifetime of harm. You’re really going to hurt because now you’re like me and I’ve spent centuries hurting.” He scoffed at Yixing. “And you won’t stop loving her,” he gestured to you and Yixing's eyes followed his. Yixing sighed in response because even though he had no idea what was going on, he knew that with certainty. Not even losing his soulmate mark had rid you from his heart and it fucking hurt so bad that the bloody tears came back.
“Get used to them,” the man huffed.
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
Your sister woke with a startle, finding herself attached the Jongin. She pulled away quickly, checking him over before she realized his eyes were wide open. She jolted away, and he watched her slowly. “Are you okay?” he said gently
She rubbed her head, feeling the immense pain still engrained in her skull. “I’ll be okay.”
Jongin reached out before pulling back, wondering why he felt the inclination to do so.
She knew though, and it killed her. You were the priority and she didn’t have time for anything else in between.
She felt the night air coming in through an open window and she wondered how long she had been out for. When she finally looked over to you, you were breathing evenly as Jongdae’s hold was tight around your waist.
“He said they’re going to be fine,” Yixing whispered as he watched you from across the room.
Your sister stood, shaky and barely able, but she did. Jongin was up with her, attempting to steady her, but he stopped himself. “He?”
Yixing’s mouth formed into an ‘o’. “I forgot you were out during that part, someone – your father was here?” he asked.
But your father was dead and she knew that, and even her dad was long gone so who...?
Your mother. It was your mother’s lover who seemed to be proclaiming himself as your father. She sighed. So he had saved you once again.
It seemed the two of you owed him your lives.
“Where did he go?” she asked as she walked over to you, blood stains covering your delicate body.
Yixing gestured to the doorway with his chin, “He’s just getting a breather. He’s going to be back eventually. He told me to tell you he wasn’t going to leave you guys now that you are safe... well, we have to talk about that.”
“What do you mean?”
Yixing’s eyes wearily grazed over Jongin’s, “He broke your seal in a sense. The hunters will be able to find you because he had to break the protection he had on you to find you. When you called out for him, he heard you and while he was already on his way, he knew it was life or death. So, he broke the seal. You still have your soulmate mark, but now you’re vulnerable. I don’t know much honestly, I just know... you have to be turned in the matter of hours or you will be dead.”
Your sister closed her eyes tightly and cursed, sure she had waited for this for a long time but she was scared. She was scared of commitment because of the man her father truly was. The monster who betrayed their mother and tried to kill her best friend and the later love of her life.
She portrayed herself as someone who only partied to her baby sister because she was trying to hide her pain. She found herself caught up with men who only wanted sex so she didn’t have to deal with the pain of betrayal but, in all of that she was betraying herself. She needed to be loved and the idea of having a mate, scared her.
He wouldn’t hurt her, she knew but there was just so much going on that she felt like she didn’t have a grasp of herself anymore.
She looked over at her baby sister and wondered how you had been strong for so long. You had endured the pain of a love triangle and she was scared to have even one love.
“I’m involved, aren’t I?” he asked her, not looking in Yixing’s direction.
The dark black marks on his shoulder that was poking through underneath his sleeves stared at her as she nodded. She fearfully pulled back her shirt to show the identical mark and he in took a sharp breath.
“You’ll die in hours if I don’t turn you,” Jongin hummed repeating what Yixing had said, “We don’t have much time then. We need to go.”
She looked frantically to her sister, “I can’t leave her. I have to stay.”
He scoffed, “She is fine. We need to save you and for that, I need to take you back to the house. Do you think Y/N wants to wake up to her sister dead or her sister safe?”
She looked to Yixing, and he nodded, “Save yourself and I’ll look over her, okay?”
“Can I trust that after what you’ve done? Do you even still love her?” she spat out before she let Jongin grab her wrist.
“Why do you think I’m still here? I’ll keep her and Jongdae alive and then I'll bring them home and your father as well.”
And while she was terrified, she wasn’t sure how long she had. There was an invisible bounty on her head and she wondered how quick they would be led to her and then, if they were, would they be able to find you too?
She didn’t have time to think any further about being changed by Jongin. She had to let her mate do what he had to do and then they would figure the rest out.
When the two of them dissolved, Yixing sighed and his back slid against the wall as he fell to the ground and laid his head back.
You told him you’d figure out a solution and you were so damn close to it when he fucked up and ruined everyone's lives. He nearly killed you, your sister, and his two brothers in the process and damn, it killed him mentally and emotionally.
He should have waited. He could have waited until you figured it out, but he was stubborn and hopeless. He regretted it so much because now, he would give anything to feel you and your emotions. Even if he couldn’t have you, even if he was going to live with you platonically the best he could, he just wanted to feel you again. He wanted to sense your happiness, your love for him, your love for Jongdae, and your pain. He wanted it all back and now, he was stuck. No mate for him. No love could exist for him and someone else because he would never get over you now.
Even if he did, you were imprinted on his hip no matter if the mark was there or not. Not only that, but you were imprinted in his heart.
He felt every ounce of his body hurt and it felt like he was going through withdrawals as he watched you sleep. He sweat, he cried bright and dark tears of blood, he convulsed and felt chills all at the same time.
He just wanted to feel your heartbeat in his chest but he could barely feel his own.
What he was living with before was much more bearable, he swore. He could live with that pain over this pain, a thousand times.
It was hours later, and Yixing hadn’t slept a single moment when Jongdae’s eyes opened. With a sharp intake of breath, he shot up, nearly knocking you out of his arms when Yixing rushed over and pushed you gently onto the mattress before grabbing his brother by the shoulders.
“Are you okay?” his amethyst eyes searched the pale red eyes of his brother.
Jongdae pulled away and reached for you, touching every inch of your body to make sure you were all in one piece. “I’m okay if she’s okay.” he pulled you into his arms and kissed your forehead gently, sighing when he felt your breathing. “What a fucking day.”
Yixing looked at him with guilt thick on his face.
“You’re going to spend a long time feeling sorry for yourself at this rate, Yixing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m fucking pissed at you but right now, all I can feel is overwhelming relief in the fact that she’s okay. That’s all that matters right now and that’s all I want to fucking think about. I’ll try to kill you later.”
“No, you won’t,” you croaked as you slowly opened your eyes. Jongdae pulled you closer and you groaned in pain, “Please be gentle, Dae.”
Your mark was aching and you were confused at the events that had passed but all you knew was that you needed to look at it when you had a chance. And well, you knew that you loved Jongdae and Yixing... you loved Yixing but something was different. He was in the room but where was he? You searched for him with your eyes, extending your mind as much as you could but as your eyes fell on him, you felt nothing. Nothing in terms of what you should have felt. Sure, you loved the man with purple eyes that you hadn’t remembered him having but the mental connection that you guys had once had, felt completely severed. You could read him so well before and now, he felt like a stranger. A stranger who you were connected to in some weird way.
You whispered his name and his eyes caught onto yours and even if you couldn’t feel it anymore, his eyes held enough pain for you to catch on and you sure you looked the same.
Jongdae grasped you tighter as you and Yixing had a moment. A very distant moment and it made you burst into tears, not being able to explain quite why you were crying.
You didn’t have to explain to Jongdae because as your mate, he knew. But Yixing on the other hand, would never catch another one of your emotions that way and you would never catch his. Part of you felt missing and you knew it would never be back.
It ached almost more than the marred skin on your hip.
“I’ll give you guys some space. I just promised I would make sure you were both okay so that’s why I watched over you.”
“Yixing-” you started but you didn’t know where you were going and you found yourself letting him turn and leave the room, unknowingly, both of you facing heartbreak.
Jongdae kissed your forehead, “Oh my love,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
The after affects hurt more than you expected.
For the longest, your mark was blistered over and you could barely see what was below the mauled skin and not only that, you mentally ached. You felt as if a part of you was missing but instead of working to get it back, every day you had to work to get used to it.
That’s where Jongdae came into play. He helped you get back into your normal life, whatever that was. Considering your sister was now staying with you and the boys and was also a vampire, you weren’t sure if you could still be considered normal.
Immortality made your sister and you get along all that much better even if it wasn’t much different than life before. The only difference now was that she had someone who her attention was focused on and it seemed she was falling in love. Hard and fast but watching from the sidelines, it seemed perfect. Jongin was good to her and it was nice that someone else had finally found their mate so you and Jongdae weren’t alone.
Then there was the Lord vampire and well, he preferred to be referred to as your father and since he had saved all of your lives, you obliged. After all, the way your mother loved him, it seemed he deserved the title and you knew that it didn’t take away the love you had for your biological father. Now, you just got to love another dad.
While he stayed a couple of hours away, he was constantly visiting and he would spend hours telling you about your mother.
You connected well with him and he was helping your vampire family repair after the events that transpired.
It had been a couple months since the incident and you and Jongdae were stronger than ever. You could easily say you loved him and spent a majority of your time not working, wrapped in his arms. Just like you were this particular Sunday.
You breathed in his scent, smiling as he pressed gentle kisses to your neck.
“I’ve been thinking,” he murdered against your neck.
Your closed eyes fluttered as your skin tingled, “What’s that?”
His lips traveled down to the dip where your neck meets your shoulder. “We don’t really have privacy anymore. With your sister constantly barging in…” he trailed off as you chucked lightly. It was true. Before she lived with you guys, you already barely had privacy but now that she was here, barging in without knocking and teasing you about anything you did with Jongdae, it was getting a little frustrating. You guys couldn’t really be intimate and it was frustrating considering it had been years since. “Do you think you’d want to get our own place?”
You froze and he removed his lips from you, coming up to meet your eyes and giving you a cat like grin that made you unfreeze and pull him down to your lips, kissing gingerly before smiling. “That doesn’t sound too bad.”
While the plans were for the brothers to live under one roof even with their mates, they were all seeing how impractical it was now and with one of the boys already moved out, it didn’t seem like they really needed to stay anyway.
“I may have found something already…”
You smacked his chest, “You bought a house without even talking to me first, didn’t you?”
He smiled again, pressing you deeper into the mattress, “I’m sorry, I just keep thinking about how I want to do more than just talk to you.”
You raised a brow, “This is more than talking.”
Jongdae used one hand to place a hand on your cheek as he bent down to whisper in your ear, “You know what more I’m talking about.”
Chills consumed your body and could feel the cocky look on his face without seeing it.
Both of you could constantly feel the sexual tension between you but you had yet to do anything about it for two reasons, one, your sister and the house of nosey vampires and two, you wanted it to be special and no matter how bad you had wanted it, the special time hadn’t seem to come.
But now, it seemed that it was nearing.
“Do you ever just want to say fuck it and take me in the shower?” you asked quietly, your voice shaking as you felt your core twitch.
He groaned loudly, “Don’t fucking say that, I’m trying to do this right.”
You hummed, “I don’t know. Wouldn’t it be right, regardless? It’s not like we haven’t been there before.”
Jongdae let out a growl, “You have to stop talking like that. It’s been too long since I’ve had you. What like three years now?”
Three long years it had been and it was obvious the two of you were having growing pains. “When can we move in?” you asked with impatience.
“Next month.” He kissed you harshly, using his teeth to bite your bottom lip. “Can I even wait a month?” he muttered to himself.
You licked the blood he had spilled from biting you, “Probably not but we’ve waited this long.”
“What are we going to do?” he pressed his face into your neck and exhaled hopelessly, but before he could get too occupied with taking your scent in, he pulled back and captured your gaze with his. For several moments, he stayed staring at you, not speaking.
His face was serious, brows furrowed and it made you laugh. “What are you concentrating on so hard?” you asked after several moments of using your mate skills to figure out what was having him focus so hard on. It was a mixture of love and anxiety.
“Um,” he pressed his lips roughly together.
“It’s been a long time since you held back,” you commented as you played with the hair that had fallen over his forehead, “What’s going on in there?”
He laughed nervously, “For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m going to scare you away.”
Scoffing, you played with the spot underneath his shirt where his soulmate mark was, “Jongdae, I’m not going anywhere. What do I have to do to prove that to you?”
“Marry me.”
You froze, and Jongdae nervously watched you. “What did you say?”
“I want you to marry me. We have a month till we can move so why don’t we spend that time planning a wedding? If we are going to do this right, let’s do it right.”
You could feel his anxiety and you swore it seemed like he was going to cry so you pulled him tight to you and squeezed him with all the energy you could. “Let’s do it.”
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
So you did.
You spent a month planning out the wedding you never thought you’d get. Your sister, was ecstatic and unfortunately, but also not so unfortunately the only blood you had. Whereas Jongdae had lots of family, it was just the too of you, and your moms lover who you now so lovingly called dad. It may have been awkward to some that this strange man came in and asked to be called your father but honestly, it had been so long since you had a dad that it hurt and you would easily accept someone who wanted the position.
Planning a vampire wedding, you assumed was just like any other wedding because even if your life changed, it didn’t mean your relationship did.
But there was just one thing, and that was that you absolutely hated planning events and it stressed you out more than it excited you so instead of taking the drivers seat in decision making, you rode in the back and your sister and Jongin piloted the ride. It was fitting as they were still fresh in their relationship and so madly in love. They needed something to put all that positive energy towards besides each other.
In the mean time, Sehun was becoming a registered officiant – much to your dislike but it was either him or Baekhyun and you weren’t going to take to the wedding officiant flirting with you while he named you husband and wife like Baekhyun would.
It had to be someone close that married the two of you because religious figures had a habit of knowing just what you were and also they had the habit of attempting to banish, curse or pray for you. None of which you were really interested in including in your wedding.
So Sehun it was. The annoying man child who snorted every time he tried reading wedding vows aloud.
Sitting on the back porch enjoying the sunset, you could hear him inside repeating the words to himself an cackling as he read them.
“You do that at my wedding and I’ll castrate you,” you said in a low voice knowing very well that you didn’t have to speak up for him to hear you even through the thick glass sliding doors and the walls of the house.
“I just find the whole thing silly,” he said and then you heard Baekhyun open his mouth.
“Because it is. Who wants to commit to one person? Just because we mate doesn’t mean we can’t have fun, and if only Primrose would have let me, I could have showed her that.”
Obviously the jokes and harassment you suffered from Baekhyun had yet to end but you had a backbone now and they didn’t get passed you. “You know, Baekhyun, if you spent half the time you spend talking about getting laid actually trying to talk to women, you might actually get laid.”
Sehun cough-laughed and you heard a gasp get stuck in Baekhyun's throat.
His voice cranked up a couple of pitches, “I get laid all the time,” his voice cracked.
You laughed as Baekhyun stormed over to the sliding glass door and threw it open. “Baekhyun, we know your sex life just as much as you do. And it’s nonexistent.”
His hands clasped to his hips, “So is yours.”
You raised a brow, “Honey, that’s only to spare you and your thirsty brothers.” You heard Sehun breathe in a offended breath.
“You’re mean now, Jongdae makes you mean.”
Baekhyun’s cocky exterior had broken down and now he was just a giant puppy. You shooed him away, “Go clean up the mess you made in the kitchen before you really see how mean I am.”
It was easy to fall into step as a mother to these men. Even if they were older than you, and your sister included, you always felt like you had to parent them. Although, things always felt like that with your sister. Especially when she was seeming to be spiraling out of control. You just had the nurturing nature.
“Listen to Prim and clean this up,” Kyungsoo grunted as you saw him padding through the kitchen with a cup of coffee in his hands, going for a twelfth refill of the day.
Baekhyun spun and looked back at the house, seeing Kyungsoo through the open door. “Don’t tell me what to do, you’re he one drinking coffee this late in the evening and people who drink coffee this late don’t have a handle on their lives.”
You giggled at him, looking at the colors splotching across the darkening sky, “How else do we deal with you Baekhyun?”
Kyungsoo chuckled as he looked down at his slipper clad feet.
Baekhyun raised a hand to point at you, then to Kyungsoo and then to Sehun, “Fuck you, you and you.”
Sehun raised his hands in the air, “Wait, how did I get included in this?”
When Baekhyun stomped like a raging two year old into the house, Jongdae rounded the edge of the house and you caught his gaze instantly, “Hi,” you waved softly.
He smiled, “Hi.”
“Did… everything go well?” you asked, feeling yourself try not to flinch.
He pulled you up from your chair and into his arms. You smelled him. You smelled everything you had been trying not to think about and you forced it away, you pushed it from your mind because now, you had that capability.
He smiled. “It was good.” And he didn’t expand and you didn’t need him to. You didn’t need to talk about where he had gone for the past couple of hours. You didn’t need to talk about how it went when he took your blood with him in a thermos that was too familiar. You didn’t need to talk about the fact that just by catching his emotions that you knew you would have one less wedding guest.
You didn’t need to talk about the relief and disappointment the flushed over you all at once.
What had you expected, anyway? Things had long ago changed and you knew that the further he stayed, the easier it was to carry on with life.
The only problem was beyond just loving him as a once mate, you loved him as a friend – you loved him as a person and even if you couldn’t feel his hurt, you knew it was there.
And that was enough.
You wondered that maybe if you had died from the mark removal how much easier their lives would of been-
But Jongdae caught the thought at shook his head, “If you weren’t here, I wouldn’t be here either. Even if I didn’t die because you died, I would have found a way to die. My life is easy and good because you exist, my beautiful fiance.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead, “I know it hurts. I know it will hurt for a long time but one day, maybe one day, it will hurt a little less.”
You leaned into him and you knew he was right because it had already hurt less than it had before.
It made you wonder though, if the pain would stay with you like the scar you had outlining your soulmate mark or if it could dissipate one day.
Although, your moms lover never stopped loving her.
She married someone else, had children, sacrificed her life and yet, he still was madly in love and you could are the hurt hanging over him like a rain cloud.
You just hoped for him and Yixing, that one day they could love again – just like you had with Jongdae.
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
“Are you ready for this?” your sister asked as she curled a small section of your hair.
You met her eyes in the mirror and smiled nervously, “Of course.”
“And Yixing?”
You rolled your eyes slightly, “You wait till the day of my wedding to ask about him.”
She started on another section of hair after twirling the last curl in between her fingers, “I figured you’d come to me when you wanted to talk about it and you never did, so as your sister, I had to ask. It’s last minute just nearly two hours before you get married but I want to ask before you’re fully committed.”
You place your hands on the vanity in front of you and sigh, “I think I’m already committed, sis.” You were frustrated, but not with her or her prying. You were frustrated that he wasn’t going to be at the most important day of your life when you married the most important person in your life but of course, you couldn’t blame him. “I think a part of my soul will always love Yixing but I think the love changes. Right now or ever in the future from this point on will I never feel something for him that changes how I feel for Jongdae. I’m all his.”
She nodded and continued curling your hair, “I just want to be sure this is what you want.”
“Aren’t the brides supposed to have cold feet?” you asked her, as you watched her disgruntled expression in the mirror.
“Cold feet isn’t as much for brides as it is for mothers and sisters. I’ve not only been your sister but your mother, so excuse me if I’m overwhelmed. This isn’t the life I wanted for us, but it’s what we have and I just have to be sure,” she paused, holding the curler with one unsteady hand, “We could leave. I think this would be the last chance we have though. We could give it up and run away, if you aren’t in this.”
You stared at her in the mirror before turning and looking at her, “I’m confused, is this about Yixing or Jongdae?”
“It’s about you.”
“You’re telling me, if I wanted to run away and inevitably kill us, you would do that with me?” she nodded without hesitation, “and what about Jongin?”
Her face contorted, “Don’t get me wrong, I love him but if we are meant to be, we’d find each other again. Before him, before Yixing, before Jongdae, it was us. I just to make sure that you’re choosing this life and that it’s not controlling you.”
“I fought this relationship for a long time and even with our bond, I didn’t feel like I had to love him. I learned to love him for him so don’t fret. I want this and if I ever change my mind, I can do what I need to do – but I don’t see that happening.”
Your sister sighed, “I’m sorry. Just the whole thing with Yixing and you has been getting to me. Thinking about it, I just worry with how much you’ve hurt over him.”
“Hurt. How much I hurt – not how much I’m hurting, that’s the past tense,” you reminded her.
“Say what you will but sis, I know it hurts that he isn’t here today.”
You looked at her for a long few seconds and then spoke, “You’re confusing hurt with regret. Yes, it sometimes I’m hurt over how it happens but I’m not hurting. And I’m definitely not regretting anything nor do I wish things were different.”
She continued to work on your hair and just nodded, “I get it. I just know how much our mom suffered.”
Was she worried since Yixing was a Lord now? Was she worried you’d have an unfortunate demise like your mother?
The only way that would happen is if you were away from Jongdae and you had no way to get that across to her. You were sure that it wasn’t her doubting how in love you were but it was fear. Fear was driving her to double, triple check if everything was okay.
But she didn’t have to be afraid. For once, everything was okay.
The wound Yixing left would stay etched into you the exact way the scar around your garnet sparrow would but it was a scar. Scars stayed with you for your entire life and while they could bring up bad memories and make your heart drop to the pit of your stomach, they couldn’t define you anymore. It defined who you were once and most days, you lived without thinking about it.
Just the way when Sehun pronounced you husband and wife, you had completely forgotten it existed.
With Jongdae’s lips on yours, you long forgot about Yixing.
And it stayed that way when Jongdae carried you through the front door of your new home.
You giggled when he stubbed his toe on the door frame, nearly dropping you and causing the two of you to tumble onto the wood floor. “I choose a time like this to become clumsy,” he muttered under his breath.
You rolled your eyes and stared up at his concentrated gaze as he carried you hurriedly to your bedroom. “I think it’s cute,” you mused.
“I don’t want to be cute,” his voice came out in a rough growl and it just made you laugh more.
“You aren’t very scary.”
He huffed, “Just wait till I get this dress off you then. You have made me wait a long time.”
That, gave you chills. He felt your body shiver and then he smirked, pulling you tighter to him. He kicked the bedroom door open with so much force you could hear the door moan.
He stood you up your feet just before the bed and loosened his tie. “You ready for this, my beautiful wife?” he asked tenderly as his hand found its place under your chin.
Your jaw clenched and you nodded, eyes closing as his fingers trailed down your jaw, over your neck, and to the dip of your shoulder.
“If your dress wasn’t so pretty, I don’t know if I could be so gentle,” he whispered as his fingers made their way around to the back of your dress, quickly undoing the corsetting that adorned the back of the dress. The dress loosened on your body, causing you to let out a whine in anticipation. You couldn’t move even though your hands ached to take the dress off quickly. You were to entranced by Jongdae. Too enthralled to take the lead.
For a moment, he stopped his hands from moving and pressed sweet kisses to the crevice of your neck, each one leaving you shaking. But just as quickly as he started, he stopped and pushed the loose dress off your body, helping you step out of it once it was pooled around your feet.
Jongdae gasped when he realized that you had forgone wearing undergarments and you almost swore you saw his eye color flicker. “This whole night, you’ve had nothing underneath your dress?” he breathed.
You nodded, “Should I have gotten lingerie or something? I’ve never really been with many men so I don’t know what they like and I was nervous and I couldn’t really ask my sister and I have no friends,” everything was coming out in a hurried jumble as your arms tried to cover yourself. He grabbed your wrists, pulling them to his chest as he pulled you closer. His lips pressed down onto yours, giving you a sweet and quick kiss.
“Stop. This is perfect. You being naked is better than any lingerie in the world.” He pushed you away softly, marveling over your body for a moment. “How did I get so lucky?”
Your lips curled up softly as you tugged at his shirt. “I would feel a little more secure if you were naked too.”
He wore a cocky grin as he untucked his shirt from his pants, unbuttoning it slowly, revealing his refined chest. He slipped the shirt down and off his shoulders but left the tie around his neck leaving him to look like what you assumed the embodiment of sin looked like.
His shoes and socks were off before you could even notice because all you could focus on was the warmth between your legs when you saw his growing member in his pants.
When his hands found their way to the button on them, your eyes shot up to his and he had a even cockier smile slapped on his face. “do you see something you like?” he asked gently as he unbuttoned his pants.
You nodded, gulping as your thighs pressed together.
After unzipping, his pants dropped to the ground and immediately, his cock sprung free. You could have laughed had you not been so aroused. It seemed you both thought to go commando on your wedding day and that silly thing reminded you that you made a good choice.
You had to admit, Jongdae looked damn good in only a tie with a rock hard cock but you wondered why he had neglected to remove it.
His hands urged your forward, finding their way to your hips when you closed in in him. His lips immediately covered yours, prying them open and fighting a war against your tongue with his. You neatly melted into his touch, feeling the way his cock twitched against your body from where it was pressed so roughly against.
You felt a moan escape your lips when his hands slipped down to cover your bottom and Jongdae rumbled a growl in return.
He pushed you down onto the bed, smiling as he slowly undid his tie. He hovered over you and you felt the warmth his body had radiated. Tiny sparks connected your skin together and if you looked hard enough, you swore you saw them.
“My love, I have many ways I can and want to make use of this.” He stretched the tie between his two hands as he stared at you, “How would you like me to use it?”
You scoffed, “Almighty Jongdae too good for vanilla sex?”
For a moment he froze until he realized you were joking, and then he growled, “You’re going to regret that.”
In an instant, your roaming hands were pinned above your head and fastened with his tie. You groaned, unable to free yourself unless you used a lot of pressure – you seemed to like the position although and decided not to pop the weak tie lose.
Jongdae ran a tongue across his lips, “I very much like this. Seeing you submissive below me, in the exact position I dreamed of having you in for years.”
He leaned down, pressing your thighs apart and moving himself between them. His breath tickled your neck before it reached your ear, “Do you have any idea of how bad I needed this?”
Your body convulsed as one of his thighs connected with your warmth, making you realize just how wet you were when you felt it seep onto his leg.
You struggled to reach out, wanting badly to dig your nails into his skin but alas, you couldn’t. He pressed his leg harder against you and you quivered. “How long are you going to tease?” you wondered, “You talk about how long it’s been but yet you take your time. Just fuck me already, Jongdae.”
His eyes darkened, “I’m trying to go gentle and slow for your sake. It’s our first time if you think about it. I want it to be special.”
Rolling your eyes, you snapped the tie that held your hands over your head, “It will be special whether your fuck me hard and fast and slow and agonizing. Right now, I want hard and fast. You can save that slow shit for later.”
His eyes flashed red and he turned you over in an instant, face pressed against the bed and you sighed in pleasure when you felt the cool air caress between your legs before Jongdae pulled your ass up and right over his cock. You felt it touch you briefly and that was enough to get you going.
“If it’s too much, tell me to stop.”
You nodded but thought to yourself that there was no way you would ask him to stop. You were so sexually deprived that you couldn’t bear to.
The second he slipped inside you, you felt like you were going to combust. Your legs shook and you realized Jongdae wrapped an arm around your lower half to keep it upright. You felt like jello but jello that had been electrocuted.
Besides the sexual relief you felt, you had hot tears running down your cheeks because you realized just how much you loved Jongdae. You realized how close you were to leaving him behind and it intensified every sense.
Jongdae moaned and you could hear his relief too. He held you tightly but not just out of pleasure as he thrust in and out of you.
With every stroke, you could feel so much. And you felt amazing.
Jongdae kissed the exposed skin on your back as he thrust you into the bed. Your nails raking against the sheets and you were lucky that’s all it was because had it been Jongdae, you knew you would have been able to make him bleed.
“Y/N,” Jongdae panted out as he pushed deeper into you, thrusting hard and fast.
It wasn’t the goal to make this last long and you didn’t care at this point. You felt everything you needed. Love, passion, pain and lust. Everything the last years had been building up to this and it was enough of a release for you.
But the didn’t stop from Jongdae pulling orgasm after orgasm out of you when his hand reached around and fiercely rubbed your clit.
“I love you,” you breathed out, trying to hold back from collapsing.
“I love you too,” he whimpered.
You could feel his sweat stick to your skin as he held himself back and you reached back, trying to grab his hands in the empty air behind you. After a few moments of him thrusting slowly, he grabbed your hand, holding tightly as it forced you deeper into the sheets.
“Don’t hold back anymore,” your words were muffled but he heard then because he could hear you. Without needing to seen your words, he felt them deep in your soul and one of his hands cupped your soulmate mark as he quickened his speed, moaning and crumbling behind you. You felt his release before he vocalized it and you felt a stupid grin slipping onto your wrecked face.
After coming, he quickly pulled you out of the sheets and into his arms.
You looked at him for several long moments before burying your face in his neck.
“That was not how I planned,” he said softly, “I meant to go gentle on you.”
You scoffed, “I’m not human anymore, Jongdae.”
He shook his head, “No, but you’re my mate. I need to be careful with you.”
“I’m not going to break, and you’d be very surprised by what I can take.” You lifted your face up to smile at him, “Love, that’s not even half of it.”
“Didn’t scare you away?” he asked reluctantly.
You shook your head, “Not even quite. In fact, I wanted you to bite me this time.”
Jongdae groaned, “Stop you’re going to get me worked up again.”
You scoffed, “Good. I want you worked up and I want you over and over till all I can think about is you inside me. If it felt this good from a quick and fast time, I can’t imagine how much better it will feel with your teeth sunk into me.”
Jongdae sucked in a breath, “That’s it. I’ve had enough.”
And this time, when he sunk inside you, he sunk his teeth in too.
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
And in some twisted way, you got your happily ever after…
With some kinks to be worked out.
Things like Baekhyun and his habit of making thirsty comments towards you because the horny vampire had yet to find his mate. Things like your sister and Jongin in the fresh beginnings of their relationship and their. Things with the other family that you still knew nothing about were rocky since the whole incident happened.
And then Yixing, the person who you tried to make the last thought on your mind although, he would never be the last thought… but he would never be the first.
You assumed no matter how much love Jongdae gave you, the rejection and the broken mateship would always hurt at times. Most days, you didn’t think of it. But then times like this, time just when you thought you were closing a chapter of your life for a new one, you remembered.
You remembered him as your fingers hung a doctorate degree and Jongdae watched from beside you. You remembered him as if he were a memory because that’s all he seemed to be anymore and that hurt.
Surely you lied to your sister when you said you didn’t hurt over him but yet, you hadn’t completely lied because some days, most days, you were great.
Jongdae pressed a loving kiss to your forehead and the unspoken words hurt you even more when his lips touched your temple. He was in pain too. Yixing had left his mark on more than just you and his absence had his whole family aching. You could feel it radiate off Jongdae and you knew he felt it radiating off of you.
But as with most things, you had him and that was enough to keep you going.
Jongdae was your life and everything hurt way less with your heart in his hands.
☾ ❁ ❁ ❁ ☽
He had become dull. There was no life left to him. His heart was empty and so was his body.
The only remains of feelings he had left were the scar that adorned his hip. The scar from what he had done to you.
His space from you was purposeful. Not just to let you and Jongdae live in peace but also so everyone could live in peace. It was better this way.
He assumed this wouldn’t hurt and neither of you would die since you had no more ties.
It hurt more to see your face and not know a single thing about you, Yixing thought.
Every invitation you extended his way went on deaf ears as he crumbled it up and threw it into his fireplace.
He wanted to be around you but at what cost? He was a Lord now and everything was different. He was more powerful but also belonged less to his family than he ever had. He was no longer a typical vampire. He dealt more with life and death dealings than anything and that is why, Lords had no soulmate. They weren’t supposed to love because it would interfere. You could see them kind of like a guardian angel and a grim reaper mixed into one.
Hell, it was still foggy to him as he learned from Lord K, your self proclaimed father.
Even if he had stripped himself of everything that had to do with you, he couldn’t lose Lord K. His mentor and his only friend.
“You will continue to suffer until you let them back in,” he would tell Yixing but Yixing was firm.
Last time he went away, he had reasons to stay. To keep himself alive, to keep you alive.
Now, there was nothing. No reason to stay.
He was just bad memories to everyone around him and Yixing couldn’t forget it.
Sometimes, he had just wished he died because at least with death you could grieve and one day feel free of most of the pain.
With him alive, neither you nor he could ever properly grieve.
And it was haunting him.
But I guess, just like this story begun without a proper beginning, it will end just like this. Without a proper ending.
summery: L.U.C.K.Y. au | you had been working for the organization for nearly a year, and yet the only people who seemed to respect you were your assigned subjects.
warnings: fem reader
words: 1.1k
~
you let out a sign, placing the cream colored folder on your desk. Subject 61 had been acting out again, as usual, and while he was your responsibility, you had another subject you had to attend to. with 61 sedated and safe, you decided you would type up your report on the matter another time.
instead, you made your way out of the small office space, and began your walk towards subject 21′s cell. you keep your head down as you continue, the harsh words from your encounter with Dr. X. playing in your head.
you understood that life can be difficult, but you were simply trying to be professional. they had no reason to be so harsh with you. you tried to brush off the encounter, instead scanning your name tag and unlocking the first room of subject 21′s cell.
he had to be kept in a two part area. the first was a viewing room, with a one way mirror. the second was of course his actual cell. you took a moment to rummage around with the medical supplies in the first room.
Subject 21′s vitals, and other things were extremely hard to monitor, due to his gifts with controlling electricity. because of this, things like measuring his blood pressure, head rate, and temperature had to be done the old fashioned way.
with your supplies, you headed into his cell.
“morning doc.” Subject 21 greeted you, a playful smile on his face.
“hello.” you greeted him with a fake cheerfulness. of course, this didn’t fool him, but he made no comment. the rubberized floor of his cell bounced slightly as you walked to him, taking his arm and beginning to take his blood pressure.
you were careful of course, prodical with subject 21, was that he was to have no skin to skin contact with anyone.
the reason for this? well, you’d heard whispers from other staff, about how he turned his last doctor into a puppet. the running theory was he seduced him and manipulated him. you however, don’t think it’s that simple. your superiors had praised you for successfully proving subject 21′s abilities with electricity, including the ability to manipulate electrical pulses in the bodies, and brains of his victims.
you had mostly been testing him on small animals, but the glove policy with handling him had been implemented after you saw that he was unable to manipulate bigger specimens without touching them.
most didn’t believe he could control an actual person, but you thought better. many of the staff saw the subjects as, stupid, to put it bluntly. and your reputation was cemented after being asigned subject 61, who was commonly believed to be little more then an animal capable of basic speach. however, you shocked your peers when your superiors assigned you subject 21.
truth be told, you were more than happy with being assigned your two subjects. they each offered you a unique problem to be solved.
Subject 21 quirked a brow at you as you wrote the last of your notes, removing the thermometer from his mouth.
“what’s the schedule for today doc?” he leaned forward, flashing you a mischievous grin.
“well, a rather simply q&a session, and since i’ll have to do a report on 61, you may have the rest of the day for rec.” you responded, pulling out your notepad. “is it alright if you go straight into the q&a?”
“sure doc.” he grins, relaxing back on his cot and making himself comfortable.
~
you began you treck back to your desk after finishing your interview with subject 21. your intuition told you he was becoming more comfortable with you as his doctor, but with his past of manipulation, you tried not to dwell on the idea.
you tried very, very hard not to dwell on subject 21′s personality. he was incredibly intelligent, could articulate himself well, and was very intuitive. you sometimes worried, that as you studied him, he studied you. and that was the reason for his relaxing around you. it would be very, very dangerous for him to understand you as well as you understood him.
his casual use of calling you “doc” had begun to stick out. it was protocol that none of the doctors give out their names, instead with a random letter being assigned to them. but with 21 offering you the nickname, it was some evidence of his familiarity with you.
the way he answered your questions, was also evidence of this. cool and relaxed, lazy smile on his lips. he watched you closely as you would jot down notes for his answers. eyes moving from your hands writing, to your eyes as you spoke, to your frame moving to adjust your clothing or you push back some stray hair.
Subject 21 was your mystery. a race, to see if you could solve him, before he solved you.
~
luck was on your side, as on your way back you crossed paths with Doctor B. you quickened your pace to catch up with the young man.
“excuse me!” you called, he halted and turned, offering you a smile when he saw you.
“afternoon, Dr. C.” he politely greeted you, waiting for you to catch up.
“hello, do you have a moment? Dr. X. and i were curious if you had any notes regarding Subject 04′s involvement in the scuffle between Subject 99 and Subject 61?” your words were rushed as you caught your breath.
“04′s involvement? he was a witness, i can get his testimony on the matter if you’d like.” Dr. B. looked a little surprised by your interest in his subject.
“he had no interaction regarding the dispute?” you were taken aback by this. 04 was the only other subject present when the argument between 61 and 99 happened, the one the landed 99 in the hospital wing.
“the reports sayed 99 was injured by resisting restraints, do you think something more could have happened?” Dr. B. wondered. you were not pleased by how he looked at you, as though you were simply making up unlikely stories.
“i think both Doctor X. and i would greatly appreciate you interviewing 04 about what happened. at least for an eyewitness account.” you tried to speak as diplomatically as possible. you really hated, how all of the other doctors in the facility liked to look down on you.
true, you were the greenest doctor, and most looked down their nose since you had ‘gotten the short straw’ by being assigned subject 61. you had only been working for L.U.C.K.Y. for less then a year, being hired right out of med school.
but those facts didn’t mean they had to speak to you as though you were incompitent and your requests ridiculous.
“then i will question him about the incident and get copies to both you and Doctor X.” Dr. B. dismissed with a polite smile.
“thank you very much, i appreciate it.” you nodded to the young man, and continued on your way.
Genre: Fluff (will contain smut/angst in future chapters)
Length: 4.5k
Pairing: Jongdae x reader
Other member’s stories ✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*
part 1. part 2.
You run your fingers through your hair and stuff your keys in your jacket pocket, wind nipping at your legs. Leafs of the trees along the sidewalk ruffle loudly, and a thick choking smog scent is ever present. Even in July, the air is still cold this early in the morning. Despite all the complaints you could think of, you like the city. You like the liveliness and the fact that you get a new shot whenever you need it.
The air though, is a little much for someone with a sensitive nose like you. It's overwhelmingly gross, and you don't think you'll ever get used to it. You’ve lived in cities bigger than this one for long enough to at least appreciate that there’s small parks littered all in between the houses. A last remnant of the wild nature that used to bloom underneath the stone buildings. Strange how much you still long for the open woods, after being away from them for so long.
Moving through rows of people who all stand much taller than you, your eyes shoot across the street as if automatically. A pale man, tall, with pitch black hair. Your skin twitches almost uncomfortably, and with a knowing gaze he meets your eyes. He seems inconspicuous enough, and you know no human would ever notice him, but you're no human and sensing another is very easy. He disappears quickly, barely sparing you a thought, and so you step into the tram without a second glance. Passing through most likely, since most don't like spending time in the city like you do. Too many people, too many chances to get recognized. But, you think, taking a seat in the plush chairs, way more chances to just blend in and be normal.
Being a lone wolf, literally, isn't fun. It is not easy, and if you could do it again maybe you wouldn't have left your pack at the age of 17 to see the world. But you did, and now this is the life you've accepted. You sip your coffee slowly, sinking away into the mass of people heading to work. There's a lot of rich people here, you've noticed. CEO's, lawyers, men and women dressed in fancy clothes. If the city is just rich, or the people in it are, you're not quite sure. Your latest apartment is quite small, and definitely crappy, but it's cheap and that's what counts. The tram stops, making most of the properly dressed people get off. Here is where you've sensed some others of your kind before, when scoping out this city.
You're quite sure a pack lives around this side of town, down in the woods a few miles away. Not that you're going to go and check. They would just chase you out of their territory and you'd be forced to move again. The tram goes on further, away from the rich city center and towards the edges of town, where you spend most of your days. You drink the last of your coffee, and look at the beautiful views that pass. You really like this city. And you'd do anything to stay out of other's radar, for once, just living the life you've always hoped for. A normal one.
***
"Excuse you?!" A sharp voice yelps, right next to your ear. If you weren't a nice person, you would have smacked the bitch across the diner. A growl fights to make it's way up your throat, but you hold it down, and give the woman a forced smile. The bleached middle aged wench across you glares up at you with a huff, and shoves the plate in your direction. "I've been coming here for 7 years and not once have I had such a rude waitress. How dare you?!" Her blue eyes flick all over the plate, and back at you.
You swallow, fisting your hands into the skirt that's tied around your waist and blink at her a couple of times, before repeating yourself, artificial smile plastered on. "You asked for a veggie burger, but without any dairy, fat or salt. You wanted no sauce, no carrot or cucumber, and onions were too oily here. That's what I told the chef, and that's what he gave."
The woman points her manicured nail at your face, and then at the plate, which has a mountain of lettuce and nothing else. "I'm lactose intolerant! You are making fun of my diseases, aren't you, you rude scoundrel?!" Biting your lip, you have to look away. Did she just call you a scoundrel? "I want to talk to the manager!" The wench screeches, all up in your face when she stands up, and gives you a victorious eyebrow raise.
Of course, the asshole she calls for shouts your name right that instant, like a cosmic joke of the universe.
"Sunny!" His voice raises above all other noise in the room. "Get your ass over here."
You just sigh, rub your hand over your face once and give the blonde witch a smile. "He'll be right over, ma'am."
Stuffing your hands in your pockets, you stomp away, and into the back room, where the angry owner of the place is. He doesn't acknowledge you, keeping his eyes on the paperwork in front of him. His face is sweaty, even though this room is far from too warm, and the smell almost makes you want to throw up. "What the fuck is the problem this time?" He sighs, penning something down on a blue post-it note.
"Someone had a complicated order, and is not happy with what the chef made for her, Sir." You start, anger now morphing to annoyance. Knowing him, it'll be your fault again, even if you just brought out the plate you were served.
"What time do you get off, Sunny?"
You frown and look at the clock. 5:54. "At six, Sir. I've been here since 7 am."
He hums and puts his pen down, clasping his fat hands together on the desk. "You're working until nine."
Mouth dropping open, you dig your nails into your own palms, feeling them dig sharply into your skin. If you weren't a nice person, you would have smacked him across the diner as well. "But Sir-" Your last tram comes at 8:57, so you’d have to walk all the way back home.
"And next time I have complaints about you, I'm throwing your pathetic excuse of an employee out, understood?!" He lifts himself from the chair and has the audacity to come to loom over you, while you swallow and glare at the bookcases there.
"Yes Sir."
Your foot collects with the trash can so hard that it flies all the way against the back of the alley with a loud clang and drops to the floor in a mess of litter. "If you can't have lactose, maybe don't go to a diner which serves only dishes with lactose! Seven years my ass, what have you been eating all those years, tHe FUcKiNG NaPKiN?!!" You shout at no one in particular, stomping around the alley like a child throwing a tantrum. "'If I hear complaints about you one more time-', the only one who complains every time is you!"
You take a deep breath, and come back to yourself, trying to focus on finding your calm before you shift and ruin your entire day. The cold air helps, though your hands are still shaky and your heart beats too fast. It’s eight and a bit now, and when your colleague spilled an entire jar of water on your feet you just had to take a breather outside. The younger girl apologized profusely though, and you're not mad at her. She's basically still a child, anyway. A pretty girl, but you do wonder how she was ever hired. She looks underage.
Running your hands through your hair a few times, you groan. You hate your job so much, but you need to in order to pay rent. After another second, you give in and pull open the door, frustration settling and determination taking it's place. You wouldn't let yourself give up that quickly. No way you’ll let that arrogant prick get under your skin like that. You’ll show him how capable you are.
***
Jongdae flashes a small smile, and scans her face. The girl across him is, with her long black hair and cherry red lips, definitely pretty, but Lord- does she talk a whole lot. And that means something coming from him. He takes a sip of water.
"... so pasta with cream sauce would be fine! It will remind me of my time in Italy." She flicks some of her hair over her shoulder and smiles sweetly, beaming up at him. "So how do you know Sehun anyway? I noticed he's never one to talk to the girls in class but I think I would have noticed that he had such an attractive friend if you were in our major, right?'
Jongdae nods, really questioning the girl's need for air, and leans back in his chair a little. "We're long time friends. I finished my major last year. I'm still on part time with my mentor."
The girl responds with an enthusiastic hum, and clasps her hands together. "Psychiatry seems so interesting! You must be really smart too, then huh, along with funny and handsome? I couldn't do it, you know, listening to all those people's problems and thoughts." She leans into her hand when giggling, and blinks up at him.
"Really. Who would have guessed." Jongdae nods quickly, averting his gaze to look around the diner quickly. What was Sehun thinking, setting him up with this giggling schoolgirl? She seems nice, but he can't deal with someone who talks more than he does.
"I hope someone comes to take our orders quickly though, I'm starving." The girl mumbles.
His eyes zero in on someone then, as if drawn by a magnet, even in the slightly dimmed light. A waitress, bright copper wavy hair and her hands and arms balancing five plates at once. She's shining, sparkling almost, a fiery determination in her eyes as she moves through the tables and delivers everyone's food. He almost chokes on his sip of water there and then. She's smiling, but her eyebrows are bunched, a funny fighting expression on her flushed face. Jongdae thinks he holds his breath, but really, it's hard to know what he does when this tornado of a person comes speeding past, too absorbed in her work to notice him. His eyes follow her already leaving shape until she dusts off her sweaty palms and moves back into the kitchen. It's only then, that his senses start working again, loud cluttered noise of the restaurant filtering in and the acute feeling of his heart beating about a million beats a minute. "Sunny!" The younger waitress calls, "that one is for table 5!"
Jongdae can't help the huge smile that comes on his face when it registers. This whirlwind of a person, full of thunder and lightning and static jumping off her persona like that of dark clouds, is called Sunny? Cute, that.
She comes walking back into the room with only two plates this time, and as she does, her eyes meet his in confusion. Her blue silver eyes meet his, and then they widen as if she just figured out how to fly, plates almost falling to the floor when she comes to a very abrupt halt.
Without hesitation, he's up out of his seat, following her with his eyes as she backs toward the kitchen.
"...and that was the- Jongdae?" His date suddenly blinks, surprised by his movement.
"Your story is super interesting, Annie, but I have to go. Sorry." He hurries, giving her a real smile this time.
And he's off, chasing after his mate with the biggest grin on his face. It's impossible how warm he feels right now, and how much he wants to know her already.
"It's Angela..." The girl calls after him, pouting.
***
Not good. Not good at all.
You stumble into the kitchen, slamming the door behind you. With wide eyes you try to process what the hell just happened. The wave of burning heat, slapping you in the face, and the fact that every cell in your body seemed to tremble and twist in his direction. You put your hands against your flushed cheeks in an attempt to calm them down, and take a deep breath.
You just met your mate. Your actual mate, the person who has been your other half for 28 years and the person who you thought you'd never find. It feels so sweet, way sweeter than you ever imagined it, but also terrifies you. You really like your life the way it is. You don't need a man fucking it up. And that seems to go both ways because he was clearly on a date.
You don't get the chance to process everything fully because the door you're resting your back against is being pushed open. You jump and push back, only causing him to giggle. It’s warm and melodic. The sound makes your heart swell, and you wish you could hate it but it only makes butterflies erupt in your stomach.
The young man of earlier pokes his ridiculously handsome face between the door once he pushes it open wide enough, an adorable kitten smile on his lips. You just frown at him and take a step away, folding your arms over your chest.
"Hello." He grins, voice deep and smooth. "I can already see you don't like me very much, but at least give me a chance?" The giggle that passes his lips is almost childlike, and makes your heart all soft. What kind of dark magic...
"Did you just run away from your girlfriend to chase me?" You frown at him, as he regards you with shimmering eyes, as if you are the most precious thing he's ever seen. It's almost insulting. Almost. You’re a lot of things, but cute isn’t one of them.
Again he laughs. You can already tell that this man is going to ruin you, with his joyful spirit and charms spilling out of his pores. He shrugs, and stuffs his hands in his pockets while taking a little step closer to you. "It's kind of our first date. Safe to say I won't be seeing her again though."
"Yeah, because you left her in the middle of a shitty diner to chase after another woman on your first date." For a second you wonder why you are so seemingly angry at him. Your past hasn't been easy however, and it's hard to convince your heart of that. He doesn't seem to mind though. And that in itself makes you even more frowny.
"H- Well, yes, probably, but also because I just met the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes upon."
Turning towards some of the dirty plates on the table behind you, you start stacking them nervously. "Oh, really? Where is she?" You turn over your shoulder to look at the guy, only to jump when he's right behind you.
He doesn't say anything for a while, just smiling down at you with his stupidly adorable moon eyes, before humming softly. "How do you do that?" He mumbles then, smile slipping off to really look at you., "You're looking at me with eyes that could shoot lightning and still you're brighter than the sun. Sunny really fits you."
When your name slips out of his mouth, you feel the full force of why people love their mates almost immediately. The word sends warm shivers down your spine and makes you feel floaty like nothing ever has. "I- I w-" you stutter, stepping from under his chin to slide to the side with flushed cheeks. "I'm really focused on my job, and I don't really do soulmates."
He just nods his head cutely, and smiles. "That's okay, I don't either." He runs a hind through his black hair, and grins to himself. "Can't you just see me as a normal guy asking you out? Just one date."
You giggle nervously, running your finger along the metal table edge over and over. You're acting like a total love struck fool right now, but it's impossible not to when your heart mellows at every second you're near him. "I don't even know your name." You just sigh, a horrible attempt at an excuse and you know it.
"Jongdae." He grins, quick to respond as he walks a little closer to you again.
This is a shitty idea. A really shitty idea.
"I promise I'll be sophisticated."
A giggle escapes you then, making you roll your eyes. "I really doubt it."
He gives you another smile. "Pinky promise." He holds out his phone for you to put your number in, right as your colleague walks in. Her eyes widen considerably at the sight of a customer here, but she doesn't say anything.
"You better not break your promise then, Jongdae." You are an idiot.
***
He didn’t lie. He looks more than sophisticated, with fancy suit and gold rimmed glasses perched on his pretty nose. Jongdae picked you up at 6, three days after you two met. And you hated to admit it, but he hadn’t left your mind for a second since that day. The entire walk home, you were practically singing, that’s how stupidly happy you were.
You’re dressed a lot more, how should you say it, dead inside, than Jongdae is. You’re wearing a black pencil skirt with a beautiful colored dragon on the side, a lacy top and several black rings adorning your slim fingers. Older people stared when you walked past them, Jongdae only grinning when you gave them a wink.
“Why are you so quiet?” Jongdae turns to you, cheeks high with smiles. He always looks so deliriously happy, you wonder if that ever gets tiring. Probably not. “You’ve been all shy the entire evening.”
You huff and glare up at him from where you’re holding his arm hooked in yours, before grinning slightly as you come to a stop at another big photograph, displayed in this gallery. You don’t really know why Jongdae chose to take you here, but it sure is sophisticated. “That’s just because you’ve been talking so much that I couldn’t get a single word in.”
Jongdae pushes your shoulder, giggling. “Not even true at all. I’ve been holding back more than I have my entire life.”
A snort passes your lips before you can help it. “How sweet.”
“I know.”
Right when you want to respond, you two turn a corner, where a big group of people is talking animatedly. You immediately feel that most of them are wolves, humming in interest. Is this the group of people that lives at the edge of the city? You doubt it, they don’t seem familiar. Still though.
Some of the people are looking at the photographs on the wall, some others crawling on each other’s backs and hanging on top of each other like a huge mess of limbs. Most though, are crowded around a small girl who has a huge blush on her chubby face, apart from the one black haired couple to the side who just look at the group lovingly. “Guys,” the one girl mumbles, looking around at some disproving people walking past, “quiet down. Thank you but you are really too much.”
One of the smaller men, red-brown hair bouncing up and down as he enthusiastically speeds over to her and throws his arms around her neck. “I’m never quieting down. We’re so pROUD, dUNgi!!” She just giggles and swats him away, before taking a sip of her champagne and coming to rest her head on one of the other man’s shoulders.
This group fill the entire room, and you can’t help but snort as you lean into Jongdae a little more. “See, this is why being alone is better than being in a pack. What a mess.” Giggling, you pass by the room where the huge crowd is, continuing down one of the halls. You catch eyes with one of them for just a split second, as his eyes widen, but before you can notice you’re out of view.
Jongdae grins a little sheepishly, and rubs his free hand at the base of his neck. “Yeah, I guess they do look like a whole mess.” The smile doesn’t reach his eyes fully.
“Loud, too. I couldn’t do it, I think, even if I tried.” Stopping for yet another picture, you frown, this one a lot more dark than most of the other works displayed here. “Do you think that one girl was the photographer? She takes really good pictures.”
The man to your side hums, before turning towards the side. “Yeah, she is really talented. I don’t like this picture though,” cocking his head at the dimly lit, deep blue picture full of small bubbles, as if it was taken underwater, “way too sad. Her works are so bright and pretty, they shouldn’t have hung this one up.”
You can’t help but nod, noticing the fire behind his words. “It seems like this one was taken in a sad past, where she had no hope. Drowning, almost.”
Jongdae quiets at that, finding your eyes for a second and resting on your lips. It makes your whole body shiver, but he seems lost in thought. Maybe that hit a personal note, you don’t know. Though being around him feels like being around an extension of yourself, you don’t know of Jongdae’s past, much like he doesn’t know of yours. The entire evening has just been filled with happy teasing and occasionally letting him slip his hand into yours, before giggling and pushing him away.
He breathes deeply, before coming back to you and smiling softly. “You have freckles.” He says it so softly, like it is something that makes you a dainty little flower, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear and you don’t have your right mind to shoo him away. “I didn’t notice it before, but- they’re all over. Here-” he points at your nose than, smile returning fully, “and here-” he brushes his thumb softly along your cheek, “and right- there.”
He puts his finger on the one freckle you know you have right at the edge of your lips, a very light one. When you move forward, or if you even do, you don’t know, but suddenly he’s way closer than he was before and your heart is beating out of your chest. His hands come up to cup your cheeks softly, and then is lips press to yours.
And when you close your eyes, you see fireworks. It’s just a peck, and Jongdae soon pulls back, but you’re frozen in the moment for way after that. Your lips tingle with the feeling of his, so soft and warm and pillowy that you’re lost at what to do. In your entire life, you’ve never had a kiss this careful, this gentle and it’s like the entire world has yanked up the saturation when you open your eyes again.
He doesn’t say anything for a while. When he does, a shy smile comes to play at his mouth corners, one you’ve never seen on him before. He always seems so confident in all he does, and yet here he is, blushing after a single kiss. Not that you can blame him, you feel bright red as well.
“I’ll walk you home, they are closing this place soon.” He sighs, before slipping his hand into yours and pulling you into his side.
The whole walk to your house, which was luckily only a good couple of minutes, was spent in a comfortable silence, or with soft whispers and giggles. You don’t know when it became so late that the sun sunk entirely behind the horizon. It must be at least 11 pm right now, since the city has become almost completely silent. Surprising, for a Wednesday evening.
Jongdae has been playing with your fingers the entire time, giggling every time you glare up at him or give him little jabs in the side. You’ve never been like this with a person before, but here you are. He lets out a deep breath, the warm air painting off against the cooling down evening, and then smiles. “Don’t look.” He suddenly says, disconnecting your hands and placing the one over your eyes.
You yelp, and take hold of his arm. “How can I walk when I don’t see where I’m going, Jongdae?”
“I’ll lead you.” He says, while you can hear his take something out of his pocket. His hand drops from your eyes. “Don’t look, yeah? I’m serious.” He doesn’t sound at all serious, so you laugh, but do as asked. His hand wraps around yours again, warm and solid, and then you feel the distinct feeling of a pen on your skin.
You bite your lip and smile, still walking on as you lean into him a little more. “Are you writing your number on my hand? You do know that this stuff only works in movies when I don’t have your number yet, right?”
Jongdae laughs loudly at that, the sound ringing through the street, before huffing playfully. “I’m not writing my number.”
“Hm.” You smile, patiently waiting until you feel the pen still on your skin, and hear the click of it. Jongdae squeezes your hand softly. “Can I open up now?”
“Yes.” He nods, grin audible in his voice, while he wraps his arm around your shoulder.
You don’t know what you were expecting, but a soft smile comes on your lips. On the back of your hand is a little sun, accompanied with just two words. ‘Yours, Jongdae’. He doesn’t say anything when you glance up at him with shimmering eyes, and leads you to the side, where to your dismay, you recognize your door.
“We’re here.” Jongdae smiles, holding in front of you and taking both hand in his. “I don’t know if I still have to say it, because it seems obvious, but I really enjoyed my night with you.”
“I really enjoyed my night with you too.” You nod, looking at your feet. “Do you want to come in for a while?”
His eyes flick to your door, and then back to you, to your door again. He gives a pained smile, before shaking his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I promised to be sophisticated and I really plan on keeping to that. Next time, maybe.” He leans forward and presses a sweet his to your forehead, and then nods. “Have a good night, Sunny. I’ll text you tomorrow?”
“Okay.” You just nod, and wave him out. “Have a good night.” When he walks away backwards, he sends you a last breathtaking smile, and then he’s gone. You almost melt into a puddle right then and there.
What did you say again? Not letting a man fuck up your life?
Well… you’re done for.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter! New characters!! Yet again. By now you’re used to this, right? This au is going to keep going until it kills me. I really enjoyed writing Jongdae for once! I feel like I’ve been lacking a lot of him throughout the series so I’m very sorry toward any Jongdae stans.
Please leave a message about your thoughts, anything you noticed this chapter or what you liked in general!! Just know that if I get input I’m a lot more motivated to put out more content.
Thank you for reading! ♡♡
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Summary: Despite suspicions with coming home later than usual even without knowing where you stood, everything will be okay right
A/N: Based on a true story.
Previous Chapter
You feel an immediate shock the next morning when Jongdae shows the photo of Naomi’s hand. The hand was covered with rashes and minor cracks with dried blood spots topping scratch lines. During the drive to the clinic, your daughter wouldn’t stop scratching as she was half asleep. Jongdae opens the entrance door for you carrying Naomi and the front desk women say their greeting. You pass your daughter over to your husband, and he gently lies Naomi over the chairs, removing his coat to cover her, and confirms that you would watch over her while he uses the restroom.
You fill out the patient check-in paperwork until a sudden thud and deafening cries ring around the room. Naomi was sprawling over the ground flat against her back screaming out painful cries.
You immediately flew to the ground and lifted her off with your arms. Jongdae bursts out the family restroom and once he sees his daughter with a red face, wailing, and crying, he rushes over to the chairs. This very fear of your daughter being harmed since pregnancy made you feel anxious and guilt that you couldn’t catch her in time. You whisper promises into her crown that you have her and how she was okay while rocking back and forth in the chair.
Your husband begins rubbing her back and head. He pecks kisses over the toddler before asking what had just happened. When you told him that she fell off, his eyebrows furrowed immediately.
“You said you would watch her.” He said sternly. “She wouldn’t have fallen off if I didn’t use the restroom then. What in the world were you doing?”
“Well, you should’ve gone before we left,” You sassed, placing another kiss over your daughter’s head “I had to check her in for an appointment.” Naomi stops sobbing, officially wide awake with her face was still red overall and streams staining her cheeks, making sniffs through her button nose. She uses the fabric of your shirt to wipe herself from her tears as Jongdae stops caressing her.
Some static sounds brought your eyes to wherever the static flows through your ears until you watch your husband insert a peppermint candy into Naomi’s mouth. You dislike children receiving candy first thing in the morning, especially toddlers. It wasn’t the time to stop Jongdae, and the bright side was that Naomi had stopped crying.
She reaches herself out toward Jongdae for him to take her. He takes her after sliding closer until your knees touch. She was always the greatest gift you ever conceived. He keeps his noggin off Naomi and without a word, the two of you stay together watching your daughter while she watches the movie.
Since the other night when you and Jongdae made an agreement to work regular hours, provided the favor spending a quality amount of time together was working decently, and surprise calls from your daughter asking when you two would arrive home. Thankfully bill prices have been lowered due to using utilities responsibly; however, the mortgage for the house remains the same.
However, Jongdae hasn’t had his phone ring nonstop for forever such as how much the device has been ringing this morning. Naomi wiggles out from Jongdae’s lap, the boredom of the movie and runs through the waiting room to a water fountain. She doesn’t care for the button that dispenses water and instead grabs the sleeve of paper cups.
Jongdae pulls his phone out from his pocket while you finish filling out the paperwork. While you sit beside him, whoever your husband was speaking to sounded like they were yelling. They probably are since you can almost hear what they are saying and the way your husband is reacting
He stands from the chair. “Honey, I have to go.”
He kisses you on the head, unseeing how baffled you are by this sudden goodbye. Months prior there were issues with paying two coverages for two vehicles. Then Jongdae took the option for having his car towed which now leaves the family with only one car. One car wasn’t bad if there was a plan on how to get around. But, if Jongdae leaves right now, then you and Naomi can’t get home. You can’t visit the pharmacy for medicine without the vehicle.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to work,” He said, swinging his coat on as he parted his lips. You just arrived at the clinic, for what reason should he leave right now? This made you raise your eyelids with surprise because the company shouldn’t open until another hour.
“But, your shift starts at nine.” The reception nurse retrieves the papers and clipboard along with the ink pen.
Jongdae sighs, “I know.”
When he asks for the keys, you notice his brows are quirked upwards and the worry within his gaze. Jongdae rarely makes his expressions like the way he is making them now. Just seeing him that way, your looks reflected your husbands’ except your lips are formed into circular shape opposing to his purse ones. “Babe, what’s wrong?”
Jongdae said that he needed to use the restroom, but he must’ve used that as an excuse to answer the phone. There was nothing wrong with responding anymore after these past months. “Nothing.”
That rose a brow. “What do you mean ‘nothing’?”
“Nothing happened. But I have to go.”
Nothing has ever been hidden from each other especially from the workplace, and Jongdae wasn’t the very best from lying. He disliked hearing lies as much as you, and he promised with his vows that as a husband and father, he would never keep anything from you. For as long as you know Jongdae, once his problems were indeed resolved, his chest became a dis-inflated balloon releasing air. If he doesn’t precisely know what was occurring in the company, he wouldn’t be frantic about leaving.
“Jongdae, I know you,” you said, concerned and able to see him anxious. The problem must be a grave one where your home could be taken away at one point, making you wonder if it would be that fruitful. The company might disperse forever, and if Jongdae weren’t hired for another job soon, the down payment for the house would be harder. You were afraid of losing the home, fearful about providing for Naomi, but mostly for your husband. Because what if the business was swimming but has a problem with Jongdae for whatever reason? Will he be able to take getting fired and keep his head above the clouds?
You could ask and offer the position on working together and still be a family with few worries. Why would Jongdae be fired though, he was admired for by his boss. When you met his coworkers, they were venting about Jongdae and his exuberant affection around their floor. Listening to positive characteristics about your husband made you smile. “Don’t lie to me.”
“Y/N nobody said they’re lying.” He squints his eyes. His hand was hovering mid-air before him, waiting for the car keys, but you don’t hand them out to him. You keep them hooked onto your fingers.
“You look depressed though,” you said, “Are you sure nothing happened?”
“Yes!” He exclaims. The volume in his voice rose slightly although the attempts on convincing yourself that you were exaggerating, the reception nurses seemed to notice also. You were feeling apprehensive and tense from his risen volume where booms around the empty clinic room. You were taken aback with how Jongdae answered and the way he rolled his eyes at you.
“I’m not depressed either.” He says. You backed your upper body, Jongdae whines often but he always keeps his attitude positive that made him somewhat amusing. Admittedly that was one of your favorite traits about him.
However the crummy behavior today consists an annoyed snap out his throat, his hands clawing, and scrunched eyebrows is as rare as Jongdae having crummy behavior in general. “Don’t bring random shit out of the blue.”
“Babe, why are you yelling? I’m right in front of you.”
You look like something had just been snatched from your hands. Your husband's phone starts ringing again which grasps your hearing but probably not Jongdae since he cannot hear.
“Y/N the company needs me urgently.” The room feels like being stranded in an abandoned building in the middle of the largest desert. The concerns for how you would get out from the land of nowhere being for what will happen to your husband. The frustration for the longer staying in nowhere without figures getting out for how Jongdae feels the rush to leave, taking that out on you. Nobody else around and nothing around except dirt valleys. “I’m trying to leave, but you don’t seem to allow that.”
“Well, what happened at work?” Your husband certainly doesn’t see the concern for him, or he chooses not to see them. The phone jingle tune turns on inside his blazer pocket with the keys jingling against your fingers moving back and forth. Jongdae stood several inches and three feet apart from you, turning his head away, inhaling through his nose. Is he trying to relax his temper? While he thinks he’s hiding it, you can see his clenched jaw and eyes closed lashes over his cheekbones. “I’m worried about the boss firing you, but you’re telling me that nothing is wrong when clearly something is.”
He turns around again, “Y/N, it’s none of your business!”
This argument contained zero physical harm but certainly provided the feeling of your heart squeezing like a lime slice. Indeed included nothing insane like your husband slapping you, or you slapping him however your mouth dangles wide open. Now showing off the same frustrating features off Jongdae and standing off the seat. The worries disperse into smoke clouds, nausea spreading around your stomach, paper-thin sweat and an itch ghosting the base of your neck. That was the borderline of your’s and Jongdae’s patience.
Your nostrils flared before starting again. “How-“
Suddenly some paper cups appear flying out from nowhere hitting the chairs between you and Jongdae. The popping sounds successfully put the arguing onto halt once you saw them. They bounced off the chair and stopped between your feet as both of you turn to see wherever the cups came from the spot where your daughter Naomi is staring toward you. She has about four more paper cups in one hand while standing behind a nurse who stood underneath an open door, wearing a polite smile that seems forced, with her naturally frizzy hair tied back into a tail. Naomi creeps closer to the door where the nurse looks toward the reception nurses hiding their faces below and away from the front counter. The argument became louder than thought until you couldn’t hear the nurse’s call.
“Mister and Missus Kim.”
She wore dinosaur printed scrub shirt and dark blue scrub bottoms and a stethoscope around her neck. You bite down your bottom lip before helping Jongdae pick the cups off the ground and tossing them into the trash bin. She shakes both your hands and introduces herself as Nurse Terri. Naomi leaves, placing the paper cups she held back over the refreshment table while returning the favor until Jongdae’s phone begins ringing again. After releasing the nurse’s hand, he pulls out the phone, checking the caller ID and as expected he excuses himself and answers. You rolled your eyes while shaking your head without thinking to stop him. “I’m sorry about my husband.”
“No worries, I live with someone similar.” A corner of your lip tugs upward then your daughter begins hitting the nurse with her endless curiosity about the dinosaur print scrubs. Three months past your daughter had an obsession for anything related to Hawaii, but now her newest passion became dinosaurs. She names each versatile picture that she points out and then asking your daughter which one was her favorite and Naomi pointed her small little finger to her Father. She calls Jongdae as “him,” but you correct her that she should call your husband “Daddy” but a smile stretching over you.
Over the shoulder, Jongdae was still speaking into the phone about the appointment he made and if the company might be able to wait for him. If the nurses and Naomi have to wait any longer for you and your husband, the morning would suddenly become the afternoon. You turn around, arms crossed and releasing out an exhausted sigh.
His eyebrows knitted and question marks whirling around him then he whips his head with his shoulders jumping until he realizes you are touching his wrist. He lowers the phone below his ear, staring at you with the worried brown eyes, assuming that something will stir again. “Go ahead Dae. We’ll catch a cab.”
His eyebrows rise in surprise and his lips shaping into a circle. This was his opportunity to leave and begin work early to find what was going to happen.
“Papa!”
Jongdae sees Naomi standing bored within the hall corridor that leads into the patient rooms waiting for him and surprises you when he ends the call and hides the phone away. "I'll call in late."
——————————————
Throughout the appointment, you discover that Naomi became diagnosed with eczema. Eczema causes her skin to dehydrate, crack, itch, rash, and all of that spreads everywhere. It’s not contagious nor curable but can be treated. You both also found out that she has several allergic reactions to pollen, cedar, eggs, and tree nuts.
Before leaving Jongdae outside the company, neither one thought of saying a word to each other and also because of earlier. You don’t hold his hand like always because his hands gripped the steering wheel. After saying goodbye with hugs, it felt like he didn’t want yours either.
Your daughter watches the prescription ointment swirls fade onto the reddest parts of her skin, ”Smells like fruitcake!” she said while plugging her nose.
You look at her amused. “How do you know that princess?”
She inherits her buttoned nose from both parents and the whining from her dad, but only because she is a toddler. How Naomi behaves would suggest how she will grow up to become a young lady. Regardless of who she will be and what she wants to become, she was your daughter although the way she currently is would be excellent in the future. “Grandma said fruitcake is yucky.”
The temperature rose high now warmer than a few hours ago but the new restaurant-the one where you missed the date with Jongdae-keeps their propane torches burning. Outside you see Jongdae’s assistant employee, Jisoo waving from her chair and Naomi greets her with a hug.
“Hey sweetheart,” Jisoo was wearing active sports clothing and seemed to have already ordered judging by the green smoothie over the metal table. “How was the appointment?”
“It was all right,” you said, “We didn’t take long did we?”
Jisoo shakes her head, insisting that she barely arrived at the restaurant.
“You really liked that smoothie.” You said puzzled, glancing between her and the half empty cup. Jisoo started her diet before meeting her, and after the first taste of green smoothies, they weren’t her favorite.
She chuckles, “You know me, I asked for a pinch of cinnamon.”
You never met Jongdae’s assistant workers before even though he talked about them, and how meeting Jisoo happened was an evening trip to the supermarket. You and Jongdae were deciding which toilet paper package you should choose, and for only one minute, Naomi disappears from the aisle.
Thankfully she was roaming inside the next aisle stacked with beverages and candies. She bent down to grab gummy worms and places them inside a strange woman’s basket. The shopper turned around without moving from the spot, knelt down. She gives out a flustered laugh until you called out your daughter and she trots away from the person to you.
You apologized while giving out a flustered laugh until the woman comments about how your great it was finally meeting your daughter and you. She extended her arm, quite hesitant about the offered handshake, introducing herself as an employee for the company and how she knew you. One minute turned like an hour passed speaking with the woman who was Jongdae’s coworker and suddenly became an acquaintance after exchanging numbers.
Her chubby cheeks cooperated with her heart-shaped face. Her hair was a silver blonde ombré, tied back into a curled ponytail and long and dark eyelashes that you admire.
Jisoo raises the straw to her lip, asking about your family’s wellness, leaning against her arm. She was now the third person learning about your child having eczema while reading the ingredients under every menu option immensely. You explain her newfound allergies how she needs to drink her allergy medicine every morning too.
Your daughter lowered herself down off the chair, moving close, resting her head above your thighs, wrapping your knees with her arm. You ran fingers through her hair, feeling touched by her loving affection until she sees other children playing with some blocks over at the children area.
Naomi’s bubbly-ness adds much to her extrovert behavior. She gives interest in varied activities and favors whoever was playing with her, and wishes to meet them again someday. Some children were pretending to work in a restaurant and while Naomi attracts toward the plastic medical tools.
She doesn’t seem bothered about her condition, and neither are the other children, except, her skin was covered from the head down, and the cracks are light. “Poor baby.”
There was a pregnant woman outside sitting at the other end of the patio wearing thick wool cardigan and scarf, thickly covered, you could hardly notice the womb, but Naomi stood before the woman.
“How’s Jongdae?” She asks.
An instant reaction became dropping the teaspoon, an eye roll, and a deep sigh. You explain the concerns and your husband in a calming mindset which increases into venting about the argument at the clinic and the sentences your husband said that threw you over the edge.
The memories from the sudden outburst to paper cups aiming between you rumbling out your lips. It was ridiculous how being worried about someone who matters with the entire heart starts yelling as if you insulted Jongdae for trying to leave for work. The sentence ‘none of your business’ replaying brought steam huffing out the nose, a wave formed into your chest. Jongdae never said anything similar at all, and you’ve had frustrating moments as every couple and marriage.
Those moments have been resolved and forgotten, and neither of you said anything overboard until today, just thinking about what Jongdae said feels like a wound breaking open. Feeling more like skin getting a sliced wound. Your brain fueling with toxic emotions enough for your veins to become near visible. It seems a little extreme for such a mood, the best medicine you need was yelling.
You didn’t realize how much anger was returning until Jisoo grabs you by the wrist. She repeats the words calm down, trying to cut every sentence, and suggesting a sip of tea. She pleads for you to take deep breaths after drinking. You feel the muscles in your upper body stretch out from them flexing, without even realizing they were flexed. Your brows lowered down right above the eyes, and the air feels chill again.
Jisoo cracks her smile, still holding your wrist. “You know how snakes extend their body and hiss to scare their predators?”
The warm tea pooled inside your cheeks before falling down your throat, relaxing the heated knot in your esophagus. You nodded, thankfully Jisoo stopped the venting before the volume in your voice would grow higher in case you aren’t loud enough. “I think that perfectly resembles your anger just now.”
Miraculously, the exasperation became replaced with giggling before taking another sip of tea. You glance around the patio for Naomi whose now pretending to be a doctor, using the plastic stethoscope and checking the pregnant woman for a heartbeat. The tea was blowing the steam out.
“Look Y/N, Jongdae will think about the argument and later come around his senses.” Her hair floated around her shoulders with the wind blowing gently, making the air slightly colder. Her French manicured hand slaps back above your smooth, natural nailed hand as she smiles at you. “Has he ever gone way over his head before?”
Your husband and yourself have fought ever since living together as dating roommates, during your first Christmas that the white bulbs better than the colored ones. Arguing topics such as home decorating, spending too much money on something, and pretty much anything that resolves into disputes never was enough to stay mad at each other.
“Take one problem similar with Steph and me,” Jisoo continues, “When I told him I wouldn’t be present for his promotion because of some huge knot in my hair, he had gotten upset. He has been ignoring my calls, and I went off on him while he was at work.”
You listen onto her story while picking loose flakes off the croissant and glancing over your daughter. Eventually, Jisoo and her current partner realize both were in the wrong for ignoring each other and admitting fear of embarrassing him for the knot.
“I ended up being embarrassed after my brother Kyungsoo stroked my hair and the extension clipped off revealing my bald spot where the knot used to be.”
Maybe Jongdae will think about the things he said and feel some guilt for raising his voice. That he would realize that you were only concerned. Even when nobody deserves blame, he would surprise you with daisies. Jongdae was never one who brings problems back from the past nor holds grudges because he hates feuding with people close to him especially when the feuds were with you, his wife.
“What if he doesn’t?” You looked aside, pursing your lips thin. Not looking toward Jisoo nor Naomi. “What will I do if the argument flew out his memory?”
Jisoo gives your wrist the softest squeeze, “He’s your husband isn’t he?” You turn around, and you see her smirk. “You know him more than anybody, and he knows you more than anybody. Did you ever have doubt about each other?”
“No,” You say instantly, “of course not!”
Not once for halfway almost twenty years. If anybody asked, Jongdae is the one for you.
——————————
Naomi plasters her hands against the window, watching dozens of bodies exiting the building. You hold her carefully by her cushion bottom, watching over her shoulder. With the confidence for Jongdae, provided some sheet of doubt. What if the situation occurring at work was supposed to be kept as private?
Maybe that was why Jongdae said that nothing happened because he wasn’t allowed to talk about whether he was keeping the job or not. The more you thought the morning over, the more you realize how you were pushing Jongdae by asking him over and over. You insisted that repeating the question would have him answer, but instead, he lost his patience. Would he want to talk with you about his day?
Would he be calmed and accept affection from you once he exits? Jongdae doesn’t hold grudges and he can’t since you live together both inside a house and each other’s life.
Jongdae carries the title as the best husband and most amazing out of all men long before proposing. Admittingly, you never thought true love existed until that night when you trash talked him about his phone. Then wanted to prove your judgment wrong and asked for your number. “There’s Daddy!”
Your head lifts higher where you see your husband walking through the revolving glass door. The change from his neat self rose your eyebrows had his sleeves rolled above his arms and his lips downturn into such seriousness. The blazer he wore in the morning was missing, and his book bag strap dragged onto the ground.
Naomi jumps out the car, running away and throws her arms above her head in expectation of being carried. But Jongdae bends down and wraps his arms around his daughter as others walk around them like avoiding a force field. He held her around the middle, resting his hand behind her head and hiding his face.
They walked side to side where you meet them outside, stretching your arms to pull your husband into another embrace. Instead once Jongdae sees you, he ignores the open arms and places his over your cheek. His lip corners downturned with exhales and his smile eyes hidden behind his lowered lids and hair slicked back like his fingers ran through the strands numerous times. He looks exhausted.
Jongdae buckles Naomi into the car seat beside plastic grocery bags. He stops his movements and smiles party when you see him in the visor mirror where your daughter strokes the hair beside his temple. She says, “Papa, it’s cold.”
The buckle clicks. “I know baby.”
“Where’s your jacket?” You paid attention to the scenario in the backseat, knitting your brows again from the affection of Naomi. “Put it on pease.”
You always wanted to be good parents and raise your children with full hearts. What did you both do to deserve such a daughter?
Jongdae plants a quick kiss on her forehead before closing the door, quieter than expected. He sat in the driver seat, and you look down his arm considering to hold his hand, but you hesitated. “Y/N,” he begins.
“Hm?” Jongdae keeps his head toward the building occupying the expanded space in front as you stare at his side profile, searching for some sort of sign in his eyes. His face straight, knitting his brows twice, and biting his tongue, holding the steering wheel tight rather than your hand and his adam’s apple bobbing up and down. While waiting for something the hints over his facial expression increase the concerns into insecurity with Jongdae keeping his job.
“I’m going to start working early tomorrow.”
You blink and gape your mouth. “Oh.”
He doesn’t speak another word while you continue telling yourself that everything is fine, that everything is alright. You inhale your scent off the knuckles beneath the nose while turning toward the window. Maybe it wasn’t the right moment to mention the argument, so you stay quiet.
There’s a sudden tap over your knee being Jongdae’s hand. He keeps his eyes open for the road while you turn to him again. “Yeah.”
____________________
The worst possibilities that every company faces are crashing and becoming removed from the business. Hundreds of employees and the leaders losing their job without any idea of what will happen to them next. Anxious until they cry and throw tantrums about what to do, where to go, and pushing themselves with finding another suitable well-paying career fast.
The minute he called you after dropping him off ten minutes ago, you felt sick to your stomach. The anxiety was tapping upon your shoulders once again. The minute he walked out the building carrying a cardboard box filled with his belongings, you began breaking down in tears.
Once Jongdae sees you, he dropped the box on the concrete and held you within his arms. Then while you wrap your arms around him, you muffled an apology though he didn’t hear. You wanted to blame yourself for not pushing him to leave the clinic, but he said that no one deserves blame. The car serving for a circular stone wall, blocking curious gazing, winter seeping through the closed doors, hiccups muffled, soaking each other’s shoulders. Including the most extended embrace ever in almost twenty years together with emotions of despair.
Jongdae sobbed into your ear for what feels like the entire morning. Catching and wiping away each other’s tears with your hands while seated inside the car. It was also Naomi’s first day of school, and thankfully she was meeting and possibly already making friends instead of seeing the emotional breakdown. You stayed parked outside the building for another five minutes dropping tears onto each other’s shoulder. Finally, Jongdae calms the sobs and reclines the passenger seat to rest his head against the leather.
With another hour before work, you thought about how to lift the moment somehow. The restaurant that both of you dined when you were both newlyweds welcomed you back and asked about what has been happening. You both disguise the devastation with fatigued smiles to talk about your daughter. The employees who remember you rejoice over her slight transformation from two months old into four years. Both you and Jongdae follow the waitress hand in hand.
The atmosphere around the restaurant felt somewhat relaxing with the inclusion of Jongdae’s hand beneath yours. Your faces direct toward each other, but your eyes focus on his hand while he focuses on the painted teal wall. His eyes were still forcing tears within making them shine despite being bloodshot. his nose cleansed, and he felt depressed for what just happened, and so were you. Then he mumbles apologies under his breath for failing to keep his job as promised very long ago, raising hopes of steadiness, and for making a scene at the clinic.
The more mutters apologies, the more broken arrows stab through your heart, and he stops after you tell him that he was alright. You tell him that he is fine.
The waitress brought the drinks you both ordered when you drag the glass closer beside, you realize that your husband ordered coffee. Seeing Jongdae order coffee was amusing because when you first dated Jongdae, he never liked drinking coffee. Just like he never enjoyed any bitter disputes between you both.
For the rest of the day, you couldn’t stop thinking about Jongdae and what will happen now, and if he was already searching for a new career again. He stayed home while you would work until he would come back and wait outside with your daughter standing beside him. You were exhausted from training newcomers and overthinking what solutions would work for Jongdae to get back on his feet.
Naomi exuberates about her classmates and teacher-who she already considers her best friend-while you spare looks toward Jongdae smiling at your daughter.
That same evening at home rather than instantly job searching on his laptop, the three of you slouch over your bed watching a holiday movie with some milk and cookies.
Your head was stuck over Jongdae’s shoulder while he snoozes, admiring his eyelashes, smooth skin, with the two moles on his temple and the way his lips parted. While looking at him, you squeeze your husband’s hand. “No matter what you do, I will always support you. The same way I have all these years.”
◇ Summary: You have been told to stay away from the infamous Kim family your whole life. But when you cross paths with the arrogant, devilishly handsome Kim Jongdae, you can’t help but want to break the rules.
◇ Word Count: 3.1k
And just like that, you were dating Kim Jongdae.
Being with him was exhilarating, every conversation a breath of fresh air, every kiss leaving you craving more, every smile committed to memory. You had never fallen for a guy as quickly as you had for Jongdae, and even though it probably should have scared you, terrified you even, you didn’t seem to want to care.
The added thrill of the relationship, of course, was having to sneak around all the time.
Jongdae came to see you after work almost every other day, and you went out together, on dinner dates and long drives, just relishing in the feeling of being together. And despite your protests against him dropping you home in fear of being seen, Jongdae was adamant. “What boyfriend lets his girl walk home alone at night?”
And so he made it a point to drop you to the very front gate of your house, and even though at first you were terrified of someone from your family seeing you, the fear slowly began to fade away.
Very quickly it became a game instead, both of you testing how far till the edge of the cliff you could go, teetering on the edge but not yet falling off. You had gotten to the point where you’d both snuck the other into your respective houses on a few occasions, as secretively as possible of course. The security guard at the front gate of your house had no clue who he was, so you got away with pretending as if Jongdae was just a friend who’d come to visit.
Hiding Jongdae from your parents was another story. On one particular night, things began to get more than slightly heated at the back of Jongdae’s car, what with days of sexual frustration building up on both of you. At one point, you couldn’t take it anymore, the car feeling much too stuffy and dark, and you literally dragged Jongdae through the house and into your bedroom with his shirt half unbuttoned and your skirt hitched up your thighs.
Except, you had no idea that your parents were home. In the middle of Jongdae trying to get his pants off, a sharp knock sounded on your door, and you barely muffled a gasp. You all but shoved him into your closet, cutting off his already building whines, and struggled to fix your clothes and hair. The smeared lipstick would just have to stay.
Your mother walked in before you could tell her too, her eyes narrowed. She looked around your room suspiciously before wrinkling her nose at your crumpled clothing and messy hair.
“Honestly, Y/N, do something about yourself, will you? We can’t have you parading around the place looking like...that. We’re going to have important guests of your father’s over in a while. I expect you to be downstairs and pleasant.”
Before you could even open your mouth to protest, she was shaking her head irritatedly and walking out of the room, slamming the door shut as she left. You bit your lip as Jongdae peeked out from behind your closet, his eyebrows raised.
A small grin spread across his lips as he emerged, your eyes widening as you saw what he was dangling from his fingers. “I want you,” he started, stepping purposefully towards you, “in these. As soon as possible.”
You groaned, trying and failing to snatch the black lingerie that he was holding out of your reach. “You were in my closet for two minutes and the first thing you found were those?”
“Naturally,” he replied, leaning in to kiss your jaw. Your eyes fluttered shut and you melted into his touch, sighing softly as his lips travelled further down your neck. “I-I would love to continue this, b-but my mother—”
You couldn’t even finish your sentence because Jongdae captured your lips in a kiss so passionate that it took your breath away. “I can wait,” he mumbled breathlessly, his eyes twinkling. “No one has to know.”
“If anyone finds you in here—”
“I’ll hide,” he cut quickly. “It’s not like I can walk out of the house now, can I?”
And so you relented. “Stay here,” you whispered, and Jongdae gave you another kiss, smiling against your mouth.
“Come back soon.”
What you’d hoped would be a mere obligatory greeting and polite smile to your father’s guests ended up being two hours worth of a business discussion, which you were forced to sit through under the stern gaze of your mother. It bored you to death, these discussions, where all anyone seemed to talk about was how they could possibly make any more money than they already had. These people, they were rich. How much richer did they want to be?
You knew why your parents made you stay and mingle with their guests. It was because they were grooming you to be just like them, polished and poised and ready to take over the company one day. To make them proud, to make them even wealthier.
It was suffocating. But at the same time, you knew there was no way out. It was almost as if your brain kept telling you that you had no reason to complain, not when you had everything you could have possibly wanted. Your parents were loving, and they wanted the best for you, and so it automatically felt like the least you could do was make them happy, even if you felt bowed to the pressure.
Jongdae went through the same on a daily basis, which is why you had clicked so instantly. For him, it was even worse, because his family was bigger, darker. His father’s three brothers all had stakes in the Kim Corporation, and were trying to exercise their own control as much they could, pitting Jongdae’s cousins against him and against each other. Jongdae had told you how despite being so close to Minseok, their relationship had becoming strained, what with him constantly trying to best Jongdae as if to prove himself a worthier candidate to take over the business.
“It’s horrible,” he had said once, during a long night drive. “Knowing that everyone in your family secretly hates you. It’s not my fault now, is it, that my father is the CEO and that I’m the one who has to take his place one day? Hell, I’d gladly give it up. This constant power struggle is exhausting.”
It was a wonder how Jongdae managed to remain spirited and cheerful through all of it, though. Being with him made you feel as if the weights were lifted off your shoulder, even if temporarily.
And so, after what seemed like the never ending meeting, you feigned exhaustion and quickly wished your parents goodnight, bounding up to your room to the only person who made it easy for you to breathe.
“I’m ba—” you started, stopping abruptly when you saw Jongdae curled up in your bed. Your eyebrows knitted together in confusion, but as you came closer, you couldn’t help the soft smile that spread across your face.
Because Jongdae had fallen asleep. His shirt still half unbuttoned, his chest rising and falling ever so slightly with his breaths, his pretty eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks. You couldn’t help but stare, couldn’t help but want to capture his beautiful sleeping face and save it to memory.
Your fingers gently ran along the side of his cheek almost unconsciously, and you leaned in carefully, brushing a soft kiss against his temple. He stirred, a small whine escaping his lips, and you stifled a laugh. It was amusing how even in sleep he managed to make it a point to express his dissatisfaction with the smallest thing.
And then he opened his eyes, blinking slowly and sleepily as you bit back a smile. “Go back to sleep,” you whispered, stroking the hair off his forehead. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“C’mere,” he mumbled, shifting so that he could pull you down to curl up next to him, his arm coming up to wrap around your waist. “So much for our plans,” you said softly, and Jongdae nuzzled his nose against the back of your neck, his breaths tickling the sensitive skin there. “This is even better,” he murmured. “I don’t want to ever let go.”
“Then don’t,” you whispered back, turning so that you could face him. “Stay here with me, for as long as you want.”
Jongdae was already drifting back to sleep, his kitten lips still drawn into that adorable smile. “Even if I want to stay forever?”
“Forever,” you confirmed, before snuggling into his chest and closing your eyes. You had never felt more warm, more safe. More at home.
But forever could only remain a whisper of a dream, of course.
Because when you opened your eyes to sunlight pouring in through the curtains, Jongdae was gone.
As perfect as everything was going with your relationship with Jongdae, it didn’t mean that you didn’t fight. It was only a few days later when you had your first falling out, and it left you with a bitter taste in your mouth.
Really, it was you who had started it, and arguably you were being unreasonable, but you couldn’t suppress the sour feelings that had sprung up after you’d found out.
That the whole reason the deal with Ms. Choi’s trading firm had fallen through because she’d decided to sign with the Kim Corporation instead. On Jongdae’s persuasion.
It was a bad idea to mix your personal and professional lives, and you knew it. But you couldn’t help the anger, or the hurt. Your father had humiliated you or not being able to sign the deal, and finding out that it was all because Jongdae had just done a better job than you and had managed to score it for his father’s company instead was icing on top of the dreadful cake.
Jongdae immediately noticed your coldness towards him when he picked you up, his forehead creased in concern at your lack of interest in his attempted conversation.
“What’s wrong?”
Funny, how he could read you like an open book so quickly, so easily.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you’d gotten the deal with Ms. Choi and her company?” you blurted, unable to keep the venom from your voice. Jongdae raised his eyebrows. “Whoa. Are you really going to be mad at me for that?”
You set your jaw, staring straight ahead rather than at him. “You tell me. I worked my ass off on that, and you knew that. You saw me after I fought with my father about it, saw how upset I was. And to think it was all because of the Kim Corporation.”
Jongdae’s face hardened. “So you’re angry because I won the deal over you? As if I didn’t work just as hard on it. Sure, your father was disappointed in you. But that’s nothing compared to what I would have had to face if I hadn’t succeeded. My uncles would’ve jumped at the chance to boast about my failure, to prove my incapability.”
You let out a short laugh. “So my family and my failures mean nothing to you. Real nice, Jongdae.”
He said nothing for a while, the car completely silent as he drove. “This is ridiculous, you know that right?” he muttered, glancing at you. “If it was any other company that had got the deal, and not mine, you wouldn’t have been angry.”
“That’s exactly it,” you burst. “It hurts because it’s you, because it’s your name and the awful company that comes with it.”
“You know, I think we should call it a night,” he said harshly, and you felt splinters cut through your skin. “I’ll see you later.”
He dropped you home without another word, and you made sure to slam the door of his car extra loud while getting out.
Your anger and hurt were making it difficult to think straight, and you hated it, the feelings of resentment that were simmering in your chest. You were being unreasonable, and you knew it. But your ego was much too big, your pride too great, and so you weren’t going to apologize first.
It was nearly 1 a.m., and you were staring at your phone, your mind at furious odds over whether or not to just goddamn call him, when his name sprung up on your screen and made you nearly drop your phone.
You hesitated before answering, but did it anyway, and the words were out of your mouth before you could stop them.
“I’m sorry.”
He said the same words at the same time, with the same urgency, the same regret. You gnawed at your lip, shutting your eyes and feeling the previous resentment slowly fade away.
Just the sound of his voice was enough, it seemed, to take your anger away.
“I was being stupid,” you mumbled. “I was just hurt, and my father still taunts me about it so you can imagine how I felt when I heard that you’d gotten the deal instead.”
“I know,” breathed Jongdae on the other side. “And I’m sorry for lashing out at you like that. I should’ve just let you vent. You had the right to.”
“Stop being such a good boyfriend,” you grumbled. “You make it hard to even stay mad at you for more than a few hours.”
“I hated it,” he confessed. “I haven’t been able to get through my evening without wanting to sort it out and talk to you. I think I’m really going crazy.”
“Well, you don’t need to worry, because so am I,” you said, smiling. “You’re too much for me, Kim Jongdae. But I can’t get enough of you. And that makes me just as crazy as you.”
And then Jongdae was singing a terribly inaccurate rendition of Beyonce’s ‘Crazy In Love’, and you were leaning over in peals of laughter, singing it along with him and wondering for what seemed like the thousandth time since you’d met him...how you’d gotten so lucky.
But if you’d naively assumed that petty fights were going to be the most of your worries...you’d been terribly wrong.
A month or so later, your family was invited to Baekhyun’s parents’ 25th wedding anniversary party, a big event they’d decided to throw on their very own private yacht.
Now, what you should have expected already, but what still came as a surprise, was that the Kim family was also invited. The Byuns had always maintained close friendships with both families, and so it was only natural that they had invited both to their celebration.
It was going to be one hell of a night.
You had established with Jongdae the day before that you were going act as discreetly as possible, pretending as if the other didn’t exist. Your families were obviously not going to even look at each other, and so the two of you were going to have to do the same, act like strangers who hated each other.
But it was a lot harder than you’d thought it would be.
As soon as you boarded the glamorous boat, in your black cocktail dress and gold stilletos, your gaze caught onto to Jongdae, who wasn’t even looking in your direction, but talking to someone instead.
But it was like an invisible force alerted him of your presence, because a split second later his eyes locked onto yours, and your cheeks bloomed with color unconsciously. His lips lifted into a slight smile, and you swallowed, forcing yourself to look away from him in fear of doing something you would regret.
Instead, you followed your parents towards the main deck, congratulating Mr and Mrs Byun on their anniversary, and playfully shoving Baekhyun in the arm. “You look ravishing,” he commented, and you rolled your eyes. “Can’t say the same for you, the hair is still ugly,” you said mischievously, and he pouted, making you laugh. “You’re mean, Y/N. This is why you’re still single.”
You hit him in the arm again, trying not to let your surprise show on your face. Single...you weren’t single, were you? The man you were very much dating was right there, just a few feet away from you. Strangely, you could almost sense his eyes on you, even though you had your back to him. Don’t look, you told yourself fiercely. Don’t look.
“Come, Y/N,” said your father brightly, providing a welcome distraction from your restless thoughts. “Let me introduce you to my dear old friend...”
Smile after smile, small talk after small talk, and the yacht was well into its journey along the marina, and you had done a surprisingly good job at avoiding Jongdae.
Well, if avoiding included exchanging smouldering glances and sly smiles.
To no one’s surprise, your parents steered clear of all the members of the Kim family who were present, including Minseok and his parents. There was not even a glance in their direction, almost as if they weren’t even there, and you were amazed at your parents’ ability to act like this.
And even stranger was the fact that not a single one of the other guests found it awkward, and they all simply went along with it, either talking to a Kim, or to your parents, but neither at the same time.
At one point, you found yourself inside and away from the disquiet on deck, seeking some much needed alcohol to make dealing with the evening easier. You mustn’t have noticed anyone following you at all, because you were taken aback when a hand slipped towards the small of your back, making you gasp slightly and turn to face who you already knew it was.
Jongdae had a dangerous smile on his lips, swiftly backing you into the slightly dimmer corner of the room, both hands on your waist, his hips digging into yours. “You’ve lost your mind,” you stammered weakly, even as Jongdae leaned down to nibble on your earlobe. “Anyone can see us—”
“I’ve been ‘discreet’ all night,” he said lowly, and you struggled to maintain your composure at the desire in his voice. “Really, it’s your fault for wearing that dress. How did you expect me to hold it together—”
You shushed him, turning scarlet. “Stop it. We were doing so well. No one’s suspected a thing. But they definitely will see this, so please just walk away like nothing’s happened?”
“Not until I get what I want,” he purred and your stomach erupted into butterflies as he kissed you, his fingers cupping your jaw and his lips desperate against yours. You let yourself escape reality for just a moment, losing yourself to the taste of him, your heart beating rapidly and your mind spinning.
And then you heard the click of a camera.
The two of you turned, wide eyed, to see Kim Minseok standing there with a lazy smirk on his face, twirling his phone in his hand.
“Well, well. Now what exactly do we have here?”
A/N: Yay I managed to finish in time!! What do you think is going to happen next? Hint: it’s not all fluff and games anymore. Leave me your comments or asks!!
Summary: The weight of humanity rests on Y/N’s shoulders. In Ascension, enemies must come together, lines must be drawn and the question of good and evil itself must be raised. As Y/N’s power strengthens and more players reveal themselves, the only thing obvious is that nothing in this world is black and white. (Book 2, sequel to Guardian)
Previous to Ascension: Guardian
His hand is warm, calloused in yours. You look down at his fingers, entwined in your own. It’s not the same passionate, burning flame you felt with Jongdae. It’s a steadier burn, embers.
“Jongdae said he’d help with your power?” you ask, lifting your gaze.
Baekhyun’s mouth twists to a smile. “That’s what he said,” he nods.
“Well,” you exhale, allowing the stone to fall into the water. “Then we’d better get started.”
“I think he’s defective.”
Baekhyun scowls, a bead of sweat trickling down his forehead. His muscles bunch beneath his shirt, straining against the hold Yixing has around his neck. “Funny, I was about to say the same thing about your di–”
“O-kay!” Jongin interjects, stepping forward. “There’s no need for trash talk, we’re all on the same team.”
Yixing glances sideways, grunting, “Yeah, well – I don’t trust him.”
Baekhyun glowers, twisting as much as he can. He uses Yixing’s momentary distraction to gain the upper hand, shoving his elbow into the Nephilim’s stomach and kneeing him once the groin, shoulder flipping him roughly to the ground. Baekhyun drops his leg onto Yixing’s chest, breathing heavily. “Defective still?” he teases, eyes dark with mischief.
Yixing hisses, tensing below him on the ground. He stares at the Altor, unmoving – until Baekhyun yelps in pain, falling backwards.
“Yixing,” Jongin sighs. He walks over to Baekhyun and sticks out a hand. “This is hand-to-hand combat only – no Nephilim powers.”
Glowering, Yixing pushes himself to his elbows. “Yeah, well – that’s unrealistic. You think Noah will take one look at him and go – whoops! My bad, I didn’t realize you were a human, lacking in our angelic powers. Let me just place Death aside for a moment – there we go, good – and now, let’s box.”
“You done?” Jongin mutters, air shimmering from his hands. He stares in concentration at the skin, easing burns from Baekhyun’s palms.
Baekhyun hisses, biting down on his lip. “This isn’t supposed to be realistic,” he mutters, refusing to look at Yixing. “This is supposed to be you, figuring out what powers I have.”
“Right,” Yixing nods, pushing himself higher. “And now we know you’re not fireproof. You’re welcome.”
Unable to stay quiet, you step onto the path. “Brilliant,” you roll both eyes. “Truly, Yixing – top notch.”
All three heads turn. When he makes eye contact with you, Baekhyun breaks out in a grin. “Y/N,” he waves. “Did you see me flip the human torch on his ass?”
When you wince, Yixing grunts. “What did you call me, half-breed?”
Baekhyun arches a brow, thoroughly unimpressed. “A human torch. A comic book character, though admittedly, not a very useful one.”
“You little,” Yixing seethes, fireball snapping into place.
Baekhyun grins, ducking – as the fireball freezes harmlessly in mid-air, a result of your powers. “Cool,” Baekhyun breathes, from where he’s precariously bent towards the ground.
Sighing, you step into the clearing. “Yixing,” you scold.
The Nephilim frowns, crossing both arms. “There’s plenty more where that came from,” he deadpans, another fireball flaring into place about him. “You can’t freeze them all, Y/N.”
“No more powers,” you grind out. “I mean it!”
Tightening his jaw, Yixing extinguishes his weapon. “Baekhyun started it, he –”
“We’re trying to grow our numbers,” you interrupt, prodding the frozen flame. “Not kill the few that we have.”
It’s chilled, hard to your touch – something which makes sense, given the circumstances. Fire is hot because of how quickly its molecules vibrate. If they’re still, held in your power, it makes sense they’d cease to burn. “It would be wrong,” you continue, arching a brow, “to dwindle our already existing resources by burning them.”
Yixing makes a noise of dismissal. “Not burn, just toast. Lightly.”
The corner of your mouth twitches. You know this is serious, know things are life or death – but Baekhyun and Yixing are just so similar, sometimes. Everyone else can see it but them, each declaring the other to be the most obnoxious individual they’ve ever had the misfortune of coming across.
“Yixing,” Jongdae strides into the clearing, breaking up the moment. “I suggest you take five.”
Heart slowing, you turn to look at him. Jongdae is dressed entirely in black, hair pushed back from his face with his sweatband. While walking, Jongdae tightens the guards on his forearms and when he looks up at you, he comes to a quick stop in the clearing.
Baekhyun hesitates, lowering his hands. Fingers flexing, he checks to make sure the skin has healed before ambling forward.
Jongin turns to Baekhyun, surveying his palms. “You’re good to go,” he declares, nodding.
“Right.” Baekhyun stops, at a loss for what to say. “Well, what now?”
Staring at him and Jongdae, your stomach starts to twist. The past few days have strangely quiet. Both Baekhyun and Jongdae begrudgingly acknowledge the others’ intentions, while somehow managing to maintain their distaste. So far, they’ve both overlooked their feelings and concentrated on the greater task at hand but beneath this, lies a vein of distrust. The elephant in the room is obvious, even though no one speaks it. You love them both, and they love you.
Perhaps it’s this which binds them together, tearing them apart at the same time. You know each one is attempting to be good, each one is trying to be noble – for your sake. Such things can’t be ignored forever though, and you know that one day this will all come to a head. One day it will implode and when it does, you don’t know who will walk away.
Coughing delicately into his hand, Baekhyun wipes his mouth. “I’m not sure what I’m doing here,” he admits, exhaling.
Jongdae tilts his head. “What you’re doing,” he states. “Is discovering what you are. I’ve known your kind for some millennia and no two have ever been the same. You need to be tested, need to be pushed to determine what talents you hold.”
Baekhyun considers this. “You’ve known my kind?”
Jongdae nods, the motion shallow. “Yes.”
“What were they called,” Baekhyun ventures. His voice sounds flippant, but you know better. Baekhyun has never known his real family, to know a part of him – it means something, more than he lets on. “My kind,” Baekhyun repeats, looking down. “Humans, with Nephilim blood in them.”
Jongdae softens. “Many things,” he admits. “Half-bloods, changelings, halflings, demi-Neph. In kinder moments, your kind were called heroes.”
Baekhyun’s eyes widen, just for a moment. “Past tense?”
Jongdae nods. “Heroes are made, not born. It is only through a careful process of blood transfusion that a human can hope to retain angelic characteristics of my people. Even so, it’s only possible if said transfusions occur at a young age. Were you to attempt it with someone like say, Yixing,” Jongdae nods at the Nephilim, who looks slightly offended, “they’d find themselves powerful, but only for a short time. Eventually, the angelic blood wouldn’t replenish. They’d regenerate as human; tissue and muscle shrinking back to what it was.”
“I see.” Baekhyun pauses, thinking of how to phrase his next question. “Did they ever… have powers, themselves? These heroes?”
His question is innocent, but you can see the way his eyes light up. You see Baekhyun’s desire to bend, shape and change the world. It makes your heart ache – you ache, looking at Baekhyun and picturing him as a child, strapped to some dank, cold table. Infused with blood, over and over, forced to undergo terrible torture – all to become what Jongdae calls a hero.
Baekhyun looks at the ground.
“Occasionally,” Jongdae allows. “Such things were rare, but they happened. More often, heroes exhibit enhanced human characteristics – somewhat like Nephilim. They’d have increased strength, speed, healing,” Jongdae ticks these off on his fingers. “Which brings us back to today’s lesson. You need motivation, to determine what your powers are.”
Baekhyun huffs, wiping his brow. “I don’t understand. What –”
You gasp, when the world flips upside down.
Darkness snakes around your waist, flinging you higher to slam against a pine. You struggle for a moment, vision spinning while breath is expelled from your lungs. Far below, you hear the sounds of distant yelling.
Jongdae. Your eyes open, narrowing on your guardian. Jongdae looks up at you, a slight smirk to his lips while his shadows coil, cutting into your flesh. On his right, Jongdae is also battling Baekhyun, who, silencer gone, is forced to fight with only strength against a fallen angel.
Breath catching, you strain against the bonds as, reaching forward, you claw at the night. Teleport – you can teleport. Scrambling for power, you come to a shuddering, shaking halt because the moment your mind touches your energy, your body shies away. Your thoughts recoil, mind flickering in pain.
You need to act, need to decide – you need to do something now, but all you can see is the man. The one who was in the wrong place, at the wrong time. He stood between you and Baekhyun, so you killed him. You barely even hesitated before his blood stained your hands. Choking, you retreat further into yourself. Slamming your head against bark, you shutter your eyes, unable to move even an inch.
The thoughts feel tainted, wrong and as Jongdae’s power tightens around your torso – you welcome the pain. Eyes shut, you drown in the sorrow, in his despair as find comfort in the madness. You let this swallow you, let yourself fall into it, until somewhere below – there comes a strange, sudden light.
The air rings.
This is your first thought, when you open your eyes. It doesn’t happen gracefully, like in movies. One eye wrenches open, then the other and you squint blearily up at heads above you. Past that, there’s sky and past that, loose swirls of white. Drifting clouds and scraggly pines before Yixing and Jongin come into focus, swimming above you.
You’re on your back, head down in the dirt. While you struggle to breathe, pushing yourself up on your elbows – you frown at the large clearing before you. Baekhyun stands back from the others, staring at his hands as though transfixed by the sight. His chest rises and falls, faster than usual, and Jongdae stands between the two of you two. His hands are outstretched, expression uncertain about to look, where to go.
In an astonishing act, Yixing reaches out a hand. You stare at this for a moment, before letting him pull you to your feet. “Are you okay?” he asks, scanning your body and when you nod, he nods and steps off to the side.
You look beyond him, to where Jongdae and Baekhyun are still staring at one another.
Surprisingly, Jongin is the one who speaks first. “What,” he breathes, eyes wide, “was that?”
For the first time, you wonder what Jongin was like as an angel. Before he fell, of course, back when he was an angel of healing and grace. You’ve thought about this in passing, but never actually pictured it. Now, though, you see it. Jongin’s stride is long, face drawn and composed. He commands quiet authority, absolute strength in his word. Jongin looks sternly from one man to the next, waiting for speech.
“Explain,” he demands, hands folded quietly over his front.
Baekhyun’s lower lip trembles. “I,” he falters, taking a half-step towards you. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Light,” Jongdae responds, strangely quiet. “He used Light.”
“Junmyeon,” Jongin breathes – then frowns. “Impossible. Junmyeon is fallen – he cannot sire Nephilim. His blood cannot be that which runs through Baekhyun’s veins.”
Jongdae lifts a shoulder, allowing it to fall. They continue to stare at one another, remembering things long forgotten. Still dazed by your fall, you roll your neck in a circle. “The Angel of Truth?” you muse, though you freeze when Jongin looks sharply your way.
“Where did you hear that?” he demands, turning to Jongdae. “Who told you Junmyeon’s name, his purpose – you, Jongdae?” His gaze moves over your guardian, voice laced with worry – or maybe, fear. “Why would you do this, put another Guardian at risk?”
“I didn’t tell her,” Jongdae fires back, closing his eyes. “I – she’s had dreams. I don’t know why, don’t know how – but she dreamt of of the battle.”
Jongin’s eyes widen. “Impossible.”
“And yet,” Jongdae counters, allowing his words to sink in.
When you clear your throat, it brings their attention to you. “Will someone please explain to me what’s going on?” you sigh, dusting your palms on your jeans. “I’m sick of the riddles and games.”
“For once, I agree with her,” Yixing pipes, leaning against a tree. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Rather than answer, Jongdae frowns. “Baekhyun used angelic power,” he admits. “He used the Light, the Truth – whatever you wish to call it. When he blinded me, his Light weakened my shadows.”
Baekhyun stares at his hands, like they’re no longer his. “I – I don’t understand what I did,” he breathes, voice soft. “I’ve never done anything like that before. I’ve never had any sort of power before. I’ve used silencers, I,” he gasps, gaze darting up. “It wasn’t me. Can’t have been. Maybe Y/N,” he hesitates, trailing off as he remembers.
You couldn’t have been the culprit, since you froze. Everyone seems to remember this at once, turning to look at you. They remember you choking, failing to fight back. Cheeks turning red, you stubbornly stare back. “I don’t want to talk about it,” you mutter stiffly.
Jongdae clears his throat, changing the subject. “When I first met Y/N,” he allows. “Do you know what she said?”
Baekhyun’s upper lip quirks, despite himself. “What age, exactly, is prime protagonist age?”
“Who knows?” Jongdae answers, shrugging. “That’s what I asked her.”
“Listen,” you interrupt, crossing your arms. “You all know the age I’m talking about. It’s the young adult novel heroine discovering her powers, probably in the halls of her high school. She falls irrevocably in love with some dreamy sixteen-year-old guy, who turns out to be actually one thousand. That’s prime protagonist age. Me, I’m in my early twenties. Old, tired, unaccustomed to change.”
Jongdae arches a brow. “If it makes you feel better, I’m at least four thousand years old. Not just one.”
Sucking in your breath, you pause. You hadn’t quantified that fact before – then you notice Baekhyun, glowering from across the circle.
“And I’m twenty-four,” Baekhyun shoots back. “With all the vitality of a twenty-four year old,” he waves his hand below the belt. “Can we continue to the part where you have a point?”
Yixing begins to laugh. “Is it just me, or is he getting funnier?”
Jongdae shoots them both a death glare. “The point,” he declares. “Is that I’ll tell you the same thing I told Y/N. The age your powers manifest has nothing to do with your human age. It’s some factor of maturity, both emotional and mental. Call it angelic destiny, if you wish. You,” his gaze flicks Baekhyun up and down, “have reached some – stunted – form of growth.”
“Ah,” Baekhyun nods. “Thanks. That was almost a compliment.”
“He understands Jongdae so well,” Yixing stage-whispers to Jongin. “It took me years to understand when Jongdae says he hates you – it’s really a sign of his love.”
Jongin snorts, turning this into a cough when Jongdae looks at him.
“So,” Baekhyun tilts his head to one side, ignoring this. “Does this mean I have powers, too?”
Jongdae surveys him, then nods. “It would appear so.”
“Excellent,” Yixing crows, stepping forward. Fire crackles to life in the palm of his hand. “Let’s go for round two. Nephilim versus halfling!”
Baekhyun’s eyes widen, as he stumbles back – and Jongdae holds up his hands. “I think,” your guardian hesitates. “That’s enough for today. We’ll pick up tomorrow, when everyone has rested. Jongin,” he nods. “Would you check Yixing and Baekhyun for injuries at the house?”
Jongin nods, turning to start walking away. Baekhyun glances over his shoulder while leaving. He clearly wants to talk to you, discuss your momentary paralysis – which is why you avert your gaze and look down at the ground. You avoid his questions, since they’re ones you’re not ready to answer.
Surprisingly, Yixing follows them. As though sensing he’s no longer needed, he turns to follow Jongin. “Hey,” he calls, breaking out in a jog. “Baekhyun! I have a bulb in my room which burnt out last night. Do you think you could sleep with me, as some sort of nightlight?”
They’re too far away to overhear Baekhyun’s retort, but you see the rude hand gesture he makes. His words are lost to the breeze, following their forms with your gaze. Once they’re a suitable distance away, you move to follow – only to have Jongdae lay his hand over your wrist.
“Y/N.”
His voice is stern and your breath stills in response. “I don’t want to talk,” you mutter, tugging free.
Jongdae teleports to stop you, mid-stride. “You need to talk to me,” he instructs, tilting his head. “This isn’t something you can fix by ignoring it.”
A laugh escapes before you can stop yourself. “Ironic, coming from you.”
Jongdae presses his lips tightly together. “I know you’re mad at me.”
This ticks you off and you shove past him, finally letting Jongdae see your anger – all of it. “No,” you snap back, furious. “I’m not mad. Mad, is when you leave dirty dishes out in the sink. Mad,” you continue, walking past the trees, “is when you cut someone off in traffic. I am so fucking far beyond mad, Jongdae.”
Teleporting again, he appears in your path.
“And stop doing that!” you yell, stumbling to a halt.
Jongdae winces at your tone. “Y/N,” he grabs onto your wrists, forcing you to look at him. “You can teleport, just like I can.”
“I know,” you retort, sullenly looking away.
“Then,” Jongdae ventures, breeze blowing hair across his face. “Why aren’t you?”
“I – I don’t know,” you stutter.
“I think you do.” Jongdae just looks at you. Just watches, waiting for you to react.
Several moments later, you sigh. “I keep on seeing him,” you admit.
“The man that you killed.”
It’s not a question, but you nod. “Yes,” you respond, quiet for a long moment. “I see him, I see his face. I feel his blood across my hands. I,” you hesitate, closing your eyes. “I don’t want to cause that kind of harm – ever again.”
“Good.”
When Jongdae says this, your eyes snap open. “Good?”
Jongdae nods, managing to smile. “I’m glad you say that,” he admits, slowly letting go of your wrists. “Were you not shaken by death, were you not upset after killing another – I would be worried.”
Staring at him, you understand what he’s saying. You understand what he means, know why this is a good thing, at least in part. It’s a good thing, from Jongdae’s perspective. It’s a good thing, from humanity’s perspective. But from your own, tired and selfish perspective – you’re dying on the inside. Your memories are eating you alive, darkening your thoughts and it’s hard, so very hard to see a way out. To see yourself as the person you once were, because winning this war means you’ll have to kill again. At the very least – you’ll have to kill Noah.
You don’t know if you can accept that.
Jongdae’s chest rises, falls and you know that he’s reading your mood. Know that he’s deciphering your emotions – which makes you annoyed, first and foremost.
“Stop doing that,” you bite out, determined. Throwing caution to the wind, you take a step forward. “Why didn’t you kill him?”
“Who?” Jongdae gapes, as though he doesn’t understand.
“Noah,” you breathe. The question has weighed on you, for some time now. “Why didn’t you kill him, in the memory I saw?”
Some flicker of emotion crosses Jongdae’s face. “I don’t… don’t know what you mean.”
“I saw it,” you whisper, watching his expression. “I saw in my dream. I saw you pause and what’s more,” you exhale, as Jongdae’s shoulders tense, “I felt it.”
He stares back at you, his face carved from stone. “You felt it?”
Gently, you nod. “I felt your anguish. I felt your pain. I felt, when you attempted to push your emotions aside and felt, when you failed. When you tried to become an Archangel again – I felt your pathway being blocked.”
Jongdae stares back, slack-jawed.
Taking a step closer, you asses his gaze. Using the powers he taught, you gauge whether or not he’s telling the truth. “Tell me why you wouldn’t kill Noah,” you demand, “and then explain, why I must.”
Jongdae’s eyes widen in shock. “I,” his voice drops to a whisper, shaking his head. “I don’t –”
“I think,” another voice interrupts, soft from the path, “that’s enough for today.”
You gaze darts to where Baekhyun steps from the trees. His cheeks are red, eyes dark – though he refuses to look anywhere but at Jongdae. Surprisingly, it’s Jongdae who takes a step backwards. Jongdae, whose gaze lowers to the ground.
“You’re needed at the house,” Baekhyun informs, jerking his head to the side. “Jongin wants to solidify your plans, says the safety of his Nephilim has gone unnoticed for long enough.”
Jongdae hesitates, glancing at you. “But – your training.”
“My training,” Baekhyun interrupts, making you look at him. “Can be continued with the others.”
After a long moment, Jongdae sighs. “Very well,” he allows, halfway turning into shadow. “Y/N,” he looks up, even as Baekhyun’s lips tighten in disapproval. “You can’t ignore your destiny forever.”
Then he disappears, presumably to the house. You stay there for a moment, before looking away. “Did Jongin really ask for him?” you ask, turning to Baekhyun.
Baekhyun shrugs, unconcerned. “He was muttering rather pointed comments as we walked to the house. I imagine they’ll have things to discuss. Oh. Was that wrong?” he frowns, as though the thought just occurred to him. “Was that bad, me sending him away?”
You should be angry with him. Should be mad, since Baekhyun forced your hand – but instead, you find yourself feeling relieved. “Thanks,” you sigh, looking out at the lake. “I’m glad you interrupted that particular conversation.”
Baekhyun watches your profile silently. Then, shifting weight to his heels, he makes a noise of discomfort. “He’s not wrong,” he admits.
The corners of your lips tighten. “Not you, too.”
Baekhyun manages to smile. “I’m not talking about destiny,” he allows. “I don’t believe in that, I don’t think you need to face anything.”
Arching a brow, you turn to stare at him. “An odd viewpoint, from a people who collect prophecies.”
When Baekhyun laughs, the sound is bleak. “Ask me if they all come true.”
“Do they?”
“No,” he answers, stepping forward. “I don’t believe in destiny, but I also don’t think you should ignore what happened.”
Sighing deeply, you struggle to look away. “Then,” you mutter, uncertain what to say. “What do you think I should do?”
A stick crunches, when Baekhyun walks closer. “I think you need to make a choice.”
“Just one?” you ask, smile wry.
Baekhyun doesn’t laugh. “I heard what you said.” He comes to a stop, tilting his head. “I heard what you said, and I understand. Each life you take, it takes a part of you. It chips away at your soul, erases you piece by piece. The thing you should ask is – will you do it anyways? Will you give a part of yourself, so that others might be spared? Or will you stand by and watch – thereby saving yourself, but dooming the rest?”
When Baekhyun speaks, the choice seems obvious. His words are a knife to your stomach, one cutting you open. He lays you bare before him, and you wonder idly why you didn’t see it before. His words are painful – unbearably so – but when you see the certainty in his gaze, it all becomes clear.
Still, you have fear. Still, you have pain.
It’s one thing to decide, but it’s another to act. To move into battle, to throw yourself before another. It’s hard to accept your fate is to kill – and it’s hard to be certain after that you’ve done the right thing.
“I,” you hesitate, looking out at the water. “I don’t know how to get past this. Each time I try to use my power, I can’t. My body won’t touch it, mind won’t see it. I only see him and, I – I,” you choke back tears burning your throat – and finally, Baekhyun moves.
He closes the distance between you, crushing you into his chest. You let him do so. Let his arms wrap around you, slide your own up his back. His sweat-stained shirt is soft, while you close your eyes to rest. Sinking into the comfort of his embrace, you feel his warmth and support.
“Slowly,” Baekhyun murmurs, in your hair. “You do so slowly. Piece by piece, you pull yourself together.”
When a light permeates your eyelids, you look up. Gasping, you realize Baekhyun is – well, Baekhyun is glowing. There’s no other words for it. Light seeps from pores, wraps his limbs with its warmth. You stare at him, awed, while Baekhyun glances down.
The light disappears. “Aw, fuck,” he grumbles, pushing one hand through his hair. “I need to take my own advice, since I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing.”
You start to laugh. It starts as a giggle and Baekhyun looks so perplexed, so startled that before long, you’re bursting out laughing. At first, Baekhyun seems alarmed but soon his expression crumbles with yours.
“God,” you groan, wiping tears from your cheeks. Whether this is from happiness or anger, it’s hard to say. “What a mess. The blind leading the blind.”
“Speak for yourself,” Baekhyun declares. “I’m light. With me, you’ll never go blind,” he announces – flinging out a wrist, Spiderman-style. A shard of light beams out to slice – well, a leaf. Just the one leaf, which tumbles rather dejectedly to the floor. Baekhyun stares. “Ah,” he rubs the back of his neck with one hand. “Maybe not.”
Turning away, you try hide your laughter. Walking back to the cabin, you leave room for Baekhyun to walk beside you. “So,” you muse, glancing sideways. “Light?”
Baekhyun just shrugs. “Jongin explained the angel the power comes from is named Junmyeon. He didn’t say much more than that.”
“I met him,” you admit, remembering. “In a dream.”
Baekhyun arches a brow. “Are you aware… of what you’re saying, sometimes?”
Recognizing the strangeness of the words, you grin. “It was a memory of Jongdae’s,” you explain. “I’m not sure how I got it, but there it is. Junmyeon.”
“Ah,” Baekhyun continues to walk. “What was he like?” he wonders, as you crest over the hill. “It’s just,” he seems uncertain. “I know he’s not my parent, or anything. It’s only, well – nice to know.”
“He was kind.” As you speak, you remember the golden, dark-haired angel. You remember Junmyeon’s son, fighting alongisde humans. “He used a spear in battle, one made from Light. He fought with the humans, beside his only son – a Nephilim called Esra. He was in love,” you hesitate, unsure if you should say this next part, “with the Archangel, Gabriel.”
Baekhyun frowns. “With your mother?”
You wrinkle your nose. “That sounds so weird, when you say it like that – but yes.”
Baekhyun grins. “I suppose there are stranger things.”
“I guess so,” you admit, staring up at the house.
“So,” Baekhyun’s smile begins to fade. “Gabriel and Junmyeon, huh?”
“I don’t think it was like that,” you hasten, hearing his tone. “In the memory, Jongdae and Junmyeon had this conversation. They talked about their love, but it wasn’t the same as ours. Philia, as opposed to Eros. I don’t think,” you pause, remembering. “I don’t think Angels can love, in the same way that humans can.”
“Interesting,” Baekhyun looks at the lake. He’s silent for a moment, until, “But you love him.”
He doesn’t need to elaborate, you know what he means. “I do,” you admit, not caring to discuss.
Baekhyun just nods. “You love me, too.”
“I do.”
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Right. I promised I wouldn’t do this. Promised I’d give you space,” Baekhyun shakes his head. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes, jaw tight with discomfort. “I didn’t mean it.”
“You did mean it,” you correct him softly.
It’s difficult to meet his gaze. It’s difficult to stand like this beside him, because a large part of yourself wants nothing more than to lose yourself. To return to his arms and just forget about the world. Drowning in his warmth would be nice, you reason, in his light and his happiness.
To do this would be wrong, though. It would be so wrong, and you take a step backwards to stop yourself. “Come on,” you murmur, jerking your head. “Let’s go inside. I heard Yixing mention something about a nightlight?”
Baekhyun groans, following you up the steps. “That winded muskrat,” he mutters, loud enough that only you hear. He catches the door as you step inside. “I’d like to tell him what he can do with those overgrown s’mores sticks he calls hands. Why won’t he,” he stops – nearly running into your back.
It’s clear you’ve interrupted something. The air in the kitchen is tense, half the room stuck in a standoff. Jongdae stands at the sink, Jongin and Yixing facing him over the table. This surprises you – since Jongin’s expression is pale, lips curled – and on the other side of the table, Jongdae seems no better. Yixing, surprisingly, stands between the two of them, struggling to mediate.
The door closes behind you with a thud, forcing their gazes sideways. “What’s happening?” you demand. “What’s going on?”
Jongin hisses in the back of his throat. “He won’t come.”
Baekhyun’s eyes widen and even Yixing seems appalled, gaze darting to Jongdae.
Jongdae’s jaw tightens. “I didn’t say… that,” he mutters. “I just said, not right now.”
“Then when?” Jongin finally explodes, letting loose of his anger. His eyes widen, harsh in the light. “Not now, tomorrow, the day after – when, Jongdae? You promised,” he declares, taking a threatening step forward. “You promised me you’d help, and while you sit here, sulking – Kimberly is rotting away in a cell. All alone, because you need to clean up another one of your failures. When,” he spits, “will you learn? When will you realize why the other Guardians want nothing to do with you. Why Junmyeon hasn’t talked to you for centuries, why it was idiotic that I even considered reaching out. You’re selfish,” Jongin informs. “Blinded. Heavens, if Nalia couldn’t even teach you –”
You never hear how that sentence ends, since shadows rise to suddenly warp around Jongin’s neck, silencing him completely. Looking sideways, you’re alarmed by Jongdae’s expression. His eyes burn, sunken with horror. “Never,” he hisses, taking a step forward. “Never say her name again.”
“Jongdae,” you whisper and, hearing your voice – he pauses.
Jongdae slowly turns to you and when he does, humanity leeches back into his eyes. His expression softens, no longer the harsh Angel of Death. Tentatively, shadows retract from Jongin’s throat, slithering back to Jongdae’s body and settling around him. When Jongin regains breath, the room around you seems to tense.
Jongdae recoils, staring at his hands.
“Jongdae,” you whisper, forcing yourself to speak. “You need to keep your promise.”
Jongdae’s gaze darkens. “But,” he hesitates. “Y/N, you need me.”
“I need many things. Right now, I need you to go.” Ignoring Jongdae’s expression, you look at Jongin. “I want to see my father. I want to see Trina, and I want my father to explain to me why he lied.”
Jongin arches a brow. “Alright.”
“I want you to take me to him,” you explain, watching his expression change. When Jongin tries to protest – alongside Jongdae, whom you ignore – you hold up your hands. “You are not a warrior, Jongin,” you explain, until he looks down in defeat. “It’s why you sought out Jongdae in the first place. Jongdae knows Department Exes. It will be easier for him to break Kimberly out, since he’s done it before.”
“I’ll go, too,” Baekhyun declares. “I remember the layout.”
“No,” you protest. “I appreciate that but frankly, I don’t trust you and Jongdae not to kill one other. Yixing,” you look sideways at the Nephilim. “Will you go with Jongdae? Baekhyun can come with Jongin and I to my father’s. Jongin,” you hesitate. “I hope you’ll agree. You’re the only one I trust, to explain this to my father.”
Jongin hesitates because, while he understands the plan, he doesn’t like it. Eventually, he nods. “Yes.”
“It’s a good strategy,” Yixing offers quietly.
You look up, surprised – he keeps on doing that. “Thank you, Yixing.”
Nodding, he turns. “Dae,” Yixing mutters, adjusting his belt. “Come on, let’s go.”
Jongdae hesitates. “Can I just,” he exhales. “Can you give us a moment? I need to talk to Y/N.”
Jongin doesn’t look at Jongdae before leaving the room. Yixing and Baekhyun follow, the latter’s eyes remaining on you until the door shuts between you. With the room empty, entirely devoid of sound, you look at Jongdae.
“What,” you hiss, harsher than you mean. “What do you want from me?”
Jongdae crosses the room slowly. He comes to a stop, staring at your face. Jongdae isn’t a tall man, but somehow it’s hard to meet his gaze. His expression twists with pain and desire, shadows wrapping your chin to tilt upwards.
Something in his gaze softens. “Take care,” he murmurs, then slips past.
You stay like that, until he shuts the door. This is for the best, you argue with yourself. You know this, know a separation will do you both good – but still, it hurts. It hurts to be parted from him. Then your eyes widen, realizing what you’ve done.
Your father. You requested Jongin bring you to your father.
You haven’t seen him since finding out what you were. Your father knew all along, yet kept it a secret. He kept it hidden and now, you’re going to find out why. Staring at your hands, you spread them in midair. Splaying them quietly as you recall Baekhyun’s words.
Piece by piece, you’ll pull yourself together.
Closing your eyes, you hesitate only a moment before you teleport.
[Master List]
Author’s Note: I know, I know. I have directly said the opposite in the past, regarding Baekhyun’s powers. But... I wanted it to be a surprise. More to come, I hope you enjoyed! THANK YOU for reading!
Short: After joining the sorority on your new university you accidentally get roomed with a notorious frat boy called Jongdae.
Pairing: Jongdae x Reader
Genre: Fluff/Angst/Smut
Words: 725
Warnings: Hazing (im extremely against hazing like these okay! Don’t do it guys!) nothing really?
A/n: This is just a little introduction to this series, dont be too freaked out about it the rest won’t be like this. But is has purpose ;). Thank you to @sechens for inspiring me to write this series.
You should’ve expected it, the mandatory skimpy shorts and tanktop, all the drinking, the partying, but what you didn’t entirely expect was to have your hands tied behind your hand and be blindfolded without any further explanation. You were guided into a room by what would soon be two of your sorority sisters. They were quiet, and had been clear on the fact that you weren’t allowed to say a word. You just complied, not excited about getting another strike after they’d found the tattoo on the back of your neck.
The strike hadn’t been too brutal, but you weren’t that keen on finding out what had actually been in that smoothie that you’d swallowed down over your long ago wrecked tastebuds.
It was early today, and you had a hangover but luckily weren’t drunk. For which you were especially grateful when the first sound you heard was a low whistle in the room, coming from a guy.
“I like this one.” A voice said, whether it was the same guy you didn’t know.
“She’s attractive.” Another voice, this one deeper than the one before.
You were moved to a certain spot, told not to move, so you didn’t. Today was the last day of the hazing, tomorrow it’d all be over and you could just start studying like you’d wanted.
Suddenly someone touched you, and flinched away. It wasn’t a threatening touch, but it startled you. A large hand skimmed down your arm, and grabbed ahold of your wrists behind you back. “Who’s up?”
You smelled the guy behind you, his cologne subtle and nice, his hands were soft. They couldn’t physically harass you really, it was against school regulations. Anything had to be done with consent and stuff, but you knew it sometimes was sketchy behind the scenes.
“What’s your name love?” someone asked, his voice was smooth, and you could hear a smile.
You licked your dry lips. “Y/n.”
“Y/n, now don’t be afraid. Someone is going to kiss you, are you okay with that?”
You frowned, thinking about it. Last night, at the party, you were drunk off your ass but you vaguely remembered kissing someone, or maybe two someones. What was it even, just a kiss right? “Sure.”
“Casual and attractive,” someone hummed in approval, sounding like the same voice as the first one you’d heard.
There was the sound of shifting, someone chewing gum beside you. Also a hand on your hip, a light touch, but cheeky. His breath smelled like mints and chocolate, and you wondered for a second if the hand belonged to him. They’d probably try and trick you. “10 seconds,” the smooth voice said.
You took a deep breath. “Nervous?” A deep voice asked from somewhere close.
“Excited.” You tried to sound flirty, just to get a rise out of them.
“Kinky.” He replied.
Then a pair of lips closed over yours, they were soft, and he was eager. But not sloppy, he’d done this many times before. Tilting his head, tongue finding yours with practiced mannerisms that made your toes curl. You kissed him back, hoping to make show him he wasn’t the one to go and control this situation. So you parted your lips further, matching to his pace and setting it to your hand till you felt him falter and keen lightly. You set your teeth into his bottom lip as soon as you heard the buzzing of the timer. Softly letting it slip away as he stepped back.
You couldn’t see him, but you wondered who he was. It was up for a repeat if you had anything to say about it. You’d felt a defined cupid’s bow, lips not too full but not thin either. He’s smiled, mouth corners going up.
He didn’t utter a word though, but the little sound he made, probably not wanting to give up his identity so easily. But you would find out who he was.
Someone whistled lowly again. “That was new.”
“First one who got into it.” The deep voice sounded again, on your right now, was he the one who kissed you?
“Keep her.” A lithe voice sounded.
You knew your sorority sisters were still in the room, when they took your wrists again and lead you out of the room. When the door closed behind you, you faintly heard the sound of the guys roaring and laughing.
