(stubbornly) rachel admits that she can be forgetful- not about little things, no- always the important things, like calendar appointments, anniversaries, and birthdays (she’d gotten better with the latter, but the others were still just as lost on her unless somebody reminded her). hence when she so casually forgot that her dad requested her to ask jonghyun and sodam for dinner , it didn’t go over well. (it’s not her fault, she thinks, despite knowing it’s really all her fault.)
it’s sometimes odd to think about their parents dating each other, but rachel knew that, at least where all of the kids of the pair were involved, they were happy for both parents being able to find happiness in each other. it’s not until after she gets in trouble for having her phone out during training that she actually remembers why she had it out in the first place. “jonghyunnn” she fake whines as she holds her phone out to the elder showing the bombardment of texts from her dad, “please text him and tell him you and sodam are coming over for dinner later. i forgot to ask last week.”
kibum has long since moved past being nervous for evaluations, and it’s hardly different in the new company. he’s actually glad to get the chance to practice interviews, especially with convex’s debut rapidly approaching. he likes to think that he has a bit of experience with this kind of thing already -- he spent most of his time in dream high learning professional development skills and interacting directly with producers and directors of the show, and hosting gave him the chance to be in the spotlight in a slightly different way alongside the main actors.
however, that was three years ago now, and he knows he’s out of practice. he’s also never answered questions about his potential debut, never known for sure who he would debut with. now that he has the position of unit leader and the name of convex attached to him, he knows there’s more pressure on him to do well than there ever has been before. he supposes that’s the purpose of this evaluation, though -- to get them accustomed to the pressure and help them learn how to answer any kind of questions on the fly.
there are two instructors in the room kibum is sent to for the evaluation, and he recognizes them by sight but doesn’t know them well yet. he bows as he walks in, feeling that familiar pang for royal, where he knew every coach after so long spent training in the company. “hello, kibum-sshi,” says the female instructor, as the male fiddles with the camera in the room. “i’m coach choi, a singing coach here. i’ll be interviewing you today.”
it takes a few minutes for the cameraman to be ready, and while they wait coach choi smiles encouragingly at kibum. “don’t be nervous,” she says, clearly noticing his insistent fidgeting with his clothes. “it’ll be over before you know it.”
the camera is ready before kibum can respond, and as it starts rolling he positions himself differently in his seat as they told him to in the lecture -- shoulders back, head up, hands folded in his lap. his heart still pounds too hard in his chest -- there are all kinds of things she could ask that would make him stumble, that could be incredibly dangerous, and he takes a moment to pray to whatever might care to help him that this just goes smoothly.
before he can even finish the thought, the questions begin.
you were a public trainee in royal, right? what made you decide to switch to sphere after so long in royal?
he’d braced himself for this question -- it’s the most obvious one, the elephant in the room. the answer, by now, is practiced, and he responds easily, a natural smile on his face. “i needed to chase this opportunity. sphere called for male trainees to audition for a potential debut, and with royal preparing a new girl group as we speak, i didn’t think they’d be ready to debut me anytime soon. i had to take the opportunity, you know? especially with my age.”
was the decision to leave hard, after being in royal for more than three years?
“yes, of course it was,” he says, and he doesn’t have to force the sad smile that comes to his face. “i left a lot of good friends behind in royal, and it’s always hard to leave somewhere familiar, you know? but sometimes we have to face hard changes in order to get to where we want to go, even if it hurts.” he pauses for a second, and when the interviewer nods for him to go on, he continues, figuring he may as well go all-in if he’s going to show his deep wisdom. “change is always hard, and can often be painful, but i’ve always been willing to do a lot for my dreams.”
despite leaving friends behind in royal, how do you feel about your group members in convex? do you like them? is there anyone you think you won’t get along well with?
“oh, they’re all great!” kibum says immediately, sitting up straighter and visibly brightening after the sad tone of the last question. “i didn’t know a lot of them before coming to sphere, so i’m still getting to know them all, but they all seem really nice. i don’t think i’ll have problems with any of them really -- we’ve all gotten along really well so far. i can’t wait to get to know them all better, though. i’m sure it’ll be really fun working and living with them all.”
is there anyone in convex you get along with better than the others? or, to phrase it differently, if you could date any of the other convex members, who would you date?
kibum laughs immediately -- this question comes up all the time on variety shows, and he hums to himself as he taps his chin, playing up the struggle of thinking about it. “they’re all really great,” he says honestly. “and we’re really a group of visuals, so it’s hard to decide! i think woohyun-hyung and i would make a good couple. or jonghyun-ah, since we’re the same age.” he grins as the interviewer laughs, and the mood is light as they move on to the next question.
though you’re fairly new to sphere, you gained a leadership position in convex. why do you think baek jiyoung gave this to you?
“i can’t really say,” he says honestly, raising a hand reflexively to run through his hair and stopping it halfway, instead using it to gesture a little as he continues before lowering it. “that was all up to baek jiyoung-sajangnim, but if i had to guess i’d say it was because of my long training period and my experience with leadership workshops. i’m really thankful for her giving me the leadership role, and it just makes me more motivated to get to know the other members of convex so that i can lead them properly.
you tweeted the other day a link to a kt video, but you’ve never trained at kt. do you know taemin, the trainee from the video?
“yeah, he’s my best friend!” kibum replies with an enthusiastic nod. “we’ve known each other for years, since way before either of us ever even thought about becoming trainees. i know it’s weird for a sphere trainee to post support for a kt promotion, but i couldn’t not do it. we’re really close, and i was so excited to see that kt’s starting to promote him. it feels like we’re both moving forward in our dreams at the same time, so i’m really excited. i’d love to be able to stand on the same stage as him, even if we’re not in the same group.”
last question, kibum, and then we’ll go. what’s your ideal type of girl?
the instructor’s eyes are twinkling, and kibum knows that the lighthearted test hides another one, and it fills kibum with a wave of dread. he makes sure it doesn’t show, though, instead laughing good-naturedly at the unexpected question. “ah, i don’t usually think about this kind of thing,” he says, actually allowing himself to rub the back of his neck this time, because the display of nerves works for this question. he doesn’t mention that the reason he’s never thought about it is because he’s only ever had feelings for one girl, and that before that his ideal type wasn’t in girls at all.
he lowers his hand, biting his lip a little as he thinks. “i think....someone who isn’t afraid to be herself, no matter what anyone says. i would get along with that kind of person well, because that’s the kind of person i’ve always tried to be.” he nods as he finishes, focusing entirely on making sure the smile on his lips isn’t fond, because he knows he just described rachel.
he thinks he succeeds, and once the camera isn’t rolling he stands and bows again to the coach. “you did well, kibum-sshi,” she says. “you may go.” he bows once more to her and then to the cameraman before he leaves, thinking that it could have been a lot worse, but that that felt like way longer than just five minutes.
taeyong’s eyes in the reflection stares at him back, stares at how his arms flop about at his side and his legs are somewhat chickenlike. the natural gold glow that emanates off his skin normally in the sunlight is illuminated to a degree in the fluorescent lighting. his hair looks more faded than usual -- the pink was only really vibrant back when he had first dyed it, just for a few days. now, the strands are more of a pinkish blonde than a true pink.
tiny flecks of hair stick to his forehead, glued down by sweat. he runs a hand through it, and his palm comes back to him wet and smelling sweet of sweat. finally, his fixated gaze on himself is broken when he steps back from the mirror a bit, unconsciously wiping his sweat-stained hand onto the slippery fabric of his basketball shorts.
taeyong always considered dance the only tolerable workout. weights and huge machines weren’t his cup of tea, and even now as he forces himself to use both for reasons linked strongly to not angering his trainers, he feels like he’s not doing anything right. does he open, does he close, does he lift, does he drop? it’s all confusing. thankfully, sphere only has gym workouts scheduled for weekends -- if he had to do this constantly for more days of the week, he thinks he would keel over.
he turns to jonghyun, a small pout on his face. “hyung, how do you get so muscly?” he says, ever so straightforward and to the point. “i feel like i try my hardest to get buff and built like you, but i never get to that level! i’m so scrawny...”
( tw: anxiety, bruising, self-deprecation )
thankfully, being in love with the song she had to perform this month wasn’t a requirement.
joohyun would readily admit to enjoying jewelry’s hit back when she was in high school, however it becomes another thing entirely when she is the one who has to rap the verses in a language she’s nowhere near prepared for. jieun helps her out in the beginning, translating the original song’s raps into korean so joohyun can understand the context, but then it’s work on pronunciation and, unfortunately, joohyun is not a prodigy.
it takes time, a lot of it, and what seems like endless practice. earbuds with the song on loop are stuffed into joohyun’s ears every time she hits the hallways to head for her next lesson, or in the car ride back to the apartment whenever jonghyun is free to give her a lift. she makes poor company in those days, possessing little in the way of conversation, but, then again, it’s really no different than her normal. she does get to see seulgi less, which is disappointing (a lot), but with both girls working hard in their individual teams it becomes an inevitable state of circumstances. joohyun wants to do well and to do that, she has to focus one hundred percent on getting these lyrics memorized. quick microwaved meals and convenience store snacks are all she lives on for three weeks; longing for jonghyun’s home-cooked meals gets more frequent and she hopes it’s all worth it.
when the day finally arrives, she’s not remotely excited about it. dread, actually, is the feeling of the day and it’s more than one person who remarks on her ‘ghost-like face’ as she passes through the mass of bodies backstage. but, as joohyun doesn’t like to socialize, and has never cared for people’s opinions beyond those who are close to her already, she easily ignores all the snide remarks and stands by the wing’s back corner. it’s dark here, where no one can see her besides the busy stage manager darting concerned looks her way every now and then. joohyun ignores that, too, and slips the earbuds back in just one more time.
(the phrase just might haunt her for the rest of her life.)
the stage lights are blinding. brief regret surfaces for not copying baby j’s signature sunglasses style but minhee had nipped that idea right in the bud from the start; as the one in charge of costumes, she’d insisted every girl in their group look their best and that included faces as well. joohyun can only blink now, squinting through mascara-coated eyelashes to barely make out the row of paneled staff just beyond the stage. just don’t think about it. the music starts on the snap of a finger and joohyun nervously raises the microphone to her lips. it’ll be okay, joo, she tells herself but her eyes are already stinging with painful water when she opens her mouth to deliver the first verse:
I know I believed in you,
I think to me: we are over now
all the times we together
yeah, let’s go!
the words are forced out thickly and there’s no denying it’s not a perfect delivery. even with all the lyrics delivered safely, her accent is rough and amateurish and no doubt a let-down to jieun’s teachings. disappointment in her lack of ability pearls in joohyun’s breast as she affects a cool expression (nothing new there, as it’s bae joohyun’s default mode) and carefully slides into her position at the end of the line. dancing, too, is an achilles heel and it only makes joohyun feel worse as she tries her best to keep up with the beat.
it’s the only thing she can do. there’s no grace in her movements, regardless of practice to the contrary, and she’s lucky that her arms and legs even go in the right direction at the right time. jie told her it was easy choreography to learn and it is-- for anyone who wasn’t joohyun. staying behind later than the rest to rehearse became the habit after the first week, and the bruises on her body became even more numerous as soon as the heels were added to the mix. as joohyun glances down at the leggings shielding her splotched calves, she’s grateful again to minhee’s wise decision in clothing her this way.
singing is easier, though she lacks noticeably in comparison to jieun’s strong, vibrant vocals, but since it’s paired with dancing, the struggle continues. not one blessed with stamina, joohyun feels her energy failing around the middle of the song-- exactly as it had done in the rehearsals. she’d been afraid of this, however couldn’t ask more of her body than it could truly give; all she could do, as her movements weakened into just a state of kicking her legs to and fro, is keep up with the line and try to smile throughout it all.
then, it’s her turn again. too tired to do anything but stand in the middle of the stage, joohyun faces the audience with a determined expression and enunciates each word that escapes her throat:
We can take it slow, any way you want to go
I like this music, don’t stop moving
Dance into the night
Hear me boy, baby don’t be shy
Come with my sign
Baby hold me tight, I wanna make you mine
joohyun pumps her fist at the end as a one last sign of her spirit. there’s not much left now and it’s a relief to feel the end of the performance coming soon. just one more singing line, just a few more shakes of her hips and flashes of an exhausted smile, and then she’d be done.
If you could pirate a trainee from the other agencies to join your own, which trainees from each company would you choose, and why? [first one had a typo. sorry!]
Ha! I like that question! Let’s se...
I’m just gonna go with my heart because I don’t really care about skills and all? At least not in an objective manner. If I was given the chance I’d rather try to get friends over or people I could get along with. Wouldn’t it be more fun?From Sphere I’d get @rksoojung ‘cause she’s intriguing. I’d like to speak with her more. Plus, she’s really pretty so I think she’d suit KT well. If not her, second choice would be @jonghyunrk because... well he’s cute and talented so why not, I ask? From Nova I’d get @bambamrk of course! Not only is he my cousin but he’s also fun to hang out with. A close second would be @rkdawon, I don’t know her a lot yet but we could be same-aged friends! She’s a good singer too, I envy her. From TRC I’d definitely get @rkxiao, she’s my good friend and she’s a really good rapper I’d like to practice with her whenever I can!
I guess I won’t surprise anyone if I say I’d bring my brother @yienrk from Royal. To be honest, I think Royal is a decent company but the main reason I wanted to go there was because of him. I really like spending time with Mark but we’re both so busy that it makes it difficult. At least now there’s Seocho, but even then it’d be great to have him around at KT! If he didn’t want to tag along, my second choice would definitely be @rkqri for obvious reasons. She’s awesome, she’s amazingly talented and I’d marry her in a heartbeat if she asked.
《 ★ @jonghyunrk 》 "hyung, i meant it when i said i’m willing to buy you insoles!” there isn’t a stark height difference between them but yixing can tell by now it’s something that lingers on the mind of the older trainee. “if your shoes have more height than mine, we look the same height, don’t we?” hand extending from above his head to above jonghyun’s, his close proximity doesn’t cross his mind as invasive when he’s become used to the amount of skinship that’s considered normal between friends in korea. it’s a lot different than what he’s seen on american television when he watches a show from time to time.
he remembers when a friend of his was into school 2013 and how much she fangirled over the two males and how close they were. yixing joked that he’d never seen a guy cry so much for another one but they brought up baekhyun and he knew he lost the fight right then and there.
“aa, right, hyung are you a fan of girl groups? jinwook is but he’s biased towards brave girls. how about you? you did a girl group song on the mgas, right? i liked that performance a lot. i told chorong that too.”
( TXT — EYERENE 🌟): hi irene i have a girlfriend and I’m scared about failing and i really miss yo— [ deleted !! ] ( TXT — EYERENE 🌟): guess who is made your favourite stew for tonight? heat it up for seulgi and you!! ( TXT — EYERENE 🌟): also.. y’know, i can’t find my batman jumper;; ( TXT — EYERENE 🌟): if you have it, that’s okay~ ^^ ( TXT — EYERENE 🌟): but do you.. have some time later? i have to go to see noona later but.. could you stay up for a bit? i’ve got things to tell you.
[ txt ⇾ ✭jjong oppa ]⇾ mm suspicious. are you apologizing to me for something oppa?⇾ either way~ i will enjoy it ♡⇾ uh i don’t know what you’re talking about⇾ or what you heard!!!⇾ yes it’s in my closet but you’ll never find it deleted!⇾ something to tell me? aa~ i knew the stew was a clue!⇾ mhm come over whenever
