in which… you’re both idols, you shouldn’t feel things, but one night after drunken karaoke—
a/n: okay so first fic in years.. lowkey I have mixed feelings about it bcs it feels shallow :,( but anyways not fully accurate jk because yeah. the idea came to me during his recent live bcs he was giving jackson wang party thrower vibes and I ate it up like spaghetti! there’s a LOT of context given in the first half (even tho this is a short one) so pls bear with me I’m still learning… but please enjoy!
(also, I’m in the process of writing like three other Jungkook fics.. Jimin ideas are in the drafts too)
w.c: 2.8k
Being an idol was your dream ever since you were little. You'd make music that came from your heart, perform for people who looked up to you and got to travel the world to see your fans. What the naive 14 year old you didn't realise was how much of your life and youself you'd actually lose to the public eye; you found yourself loving the idea of staying at home rather than going out even to the store.
You didn't hate your job (although you came close to it on rare occasions) since you had worked so hard and the rewards were so much more fulfilling than you'd ever imagined they could be.
Most people start out young in the industry and you followed suit. You were 16 when you left your small hometown near the sea to pursue your dream. With your suitcase and backpack held tight, nerves a total wreck and worried parents, you thought everything would be fine and you'd do great. Spoiler: you did more than great. The trainee routine was tough, sticking you through the shit you thought would undo your motivation. The staff were harsh and honestly made it feel as if they thought you'd just give up and become another one of those 'one hit wonder' groups.
It was a small group of 4: yourself, Irene, Wendy and Mina. The group name was something that had various trial and error runs. StarNova was the first idea. Moonrise. You all settled on SPYNX, even though it wasn't something that was certain at the time.
After 6 years, SPYXN was global. K-pop had made its way into western radio thanks to the number one boy band, BTS, allowing other groups to rise to fame the same way they did. You'd met the members a few times over the years, always hearing about the new record they were breaking. It became your motivation, seeing how hard they had worked and made it possible for k-pop to become so mainstream all over the world.
Of course, you had an image. Your group started off with a grunge vibe; rebellious lyrics, punk-esque music videos and something that teenagers loved to use against their parents' desperation to keep them innocent (not that any of you wanted to cause a riot amongst broody teenagers and their parents...). But, as expected, society changed. People moved on from theme to theme and so did SPYNX. You kept up with the trends, slowly making your way up the charts and making a name for yourself (not like you'd done that already.. literally!).
It was hard and sometimes you felt like quitting. Sometimes you wanted to go back to your hometown and pretend you never left. Then you bumped into 19 year old Jeon Jungkook and suddenly, all the doubts you ever had of your music career disappeared. He was everything you wanted to be; part of the fastest-rising group in the world and a nickname of the 'golden maknae', how could anyone dislike him?
The years between when you first met Jungkook and now blurred into eachother. You kept working, kept performing and kept changing concepts when the world decided it needed something new. SPYNX won daesangs and western awards too, and soon enough you found yourself in the spotlight every week. Everyone was wondering what you were doing, what new album SPYNX would come out with.
Unfortunately, your friendship with the other group was hardly allowed to be shown as deep as it really was. Yes, they became much more popular than SPYNX did and much faster. Of course they did with their talent. Meaning that the world constantly had its eyes on them. Every breath they took was on camera, their lives belonging to their fans like they were some sort of living documentary. Something as simple as grabbing a coffee would spark endless rumours and became unecessary trouble, it was exhausting to even try. Jungkook's fans grew in number until you honestly believed it was half of the world's population.
While he watched you grow up, being three years younger than him, it was weird how you never really noticed the change until he got his first tattoo. It was the fact that you'd known eachother for so long and kept a stable friendship that you were able to stay friends through his military service.
When BTS went on a haitus and each of them had solo careers, Jungkook working on his album GOLDEN, it was those few years that Jungkook's friendship with you started to feel more romantic— but maybe he was just imagining it.
Now you were 25 and Jungkook was 28 and something had shifted in the last few years between you. What used to be an innocent escape for midnight ice cream started to feel like something deeper, your craving for ice cream becoming an unspoken craving for his company. Jungkook became the rock in your life and you became his.
When he met you, he was 19. Not quite mature, not fully grown, but smart enough to see that obviously you were pretty. Pretty in a friend way, like seeing a girl in your first year of highschool and thinking she was cute. Then, there was a sudden makeover of how he saw you. He realised you weren't the rebellious teenager he'd first met, you were older now. Mature, fully grown, smart enough to understand that Jungkook was attractive.
One of his new favourite things about you was that you decided to stop caring about most of the rules of being an idol. You didn't sugarcoat yourself anymore. It was suffocating and you were sick of being perceived as a kid who didn't know how to be an adult. You were 25. You'd had relationships, it would be worrying if you hadn't. Jungkook was 28, he'd had relationships. Likewise, it'd be worrying if he hadn't. He wrote a song about sex, did people really still think he was an innocent kid? Jungkook always cringed when he saw people calling him their "baby" or infantilisting him, it pissed him off to be seen as a kid.
He didn't admit it, but you knew he got his tattoos to get people to understand he was older now. Not a baby, not a teenager, not an innocent 15 year old who moved away from his family to the city to pursue his dream.
Now, he owned a big house (with a ridiculous lack of light, leaving you stumbling around half of the time you were at his house) and had finally started living freely— cursing publicly, talking about problems he’d struggled with like smoking, which you’d always disapproved of but supported him stopping the habit.
It was refreshing to see Jungkook feel free to live as he was.
Something was different when you were together. Your hand lingered on his bicep a second too long, his eyes stuck to you when you weren't looking. You were both older now, maybe the lack of romance was getting to your heads. Maybe? Or maybe you both knew that you were stupidly hot and stupidly single.
It was definitely both.
One Saturday night, Jungkook had invited a few too many people over for karaoke and ended up hosting a sort of party. Not that he'd care, he had all the alcohol to last the night regardless of how many people were drinking their stress away. The only thing he payed attention to all night was you. Of course you were the first one to get an invite after all the members, Jungkook wanted you next to him all the time.
God, if he could have you sleeping next to him he'd demand it every night.
The lights were dim, too dim, you'd argue. If you were sober enough to notice, which you weren't. You had been giggling all night, stumbling into your friends as an attempt at dancing, your cup never empty for more than ten seconds.
The night went on and people got tired from drunkenly pouring their hearts into the mic of Jungkook's karaoke machine, half-joking. Most people had left by 2am. It was just you on his leather couch by 3.08am. Jungkook had just finished clearing the cups away with Jin and Taehyung before seeing them out, returning to you sprawled lazily over his couch.
The basement was dark, only lit by the colours of the arguably oversized screen in front of you. Your skirt had settled just above your mid-thigh, catching a second of Jungkook's gaze before he desperately reminded himself that you were both drunk and best friends. He cleared his throat, head tilted with an annoyingly hot grin pulling at his pierced lips.
As you lifted your head, smiling at him, he let out a small noise of disapproval before sighing, settling beside you with his thighs spread comfortably as his tatted arm crossed over his chest.
"It's late— I should go home too"
You cleared your throat, risking a glance at him as you fixed your skirt, feeling the effects of the alcohol start to drown out all reasoning you had when you saw the way Jungkook shook his head. Your weak attempt at standing up made him groan, a brief comparison of you to a fawn crossing his thoughts before he tutted.
"How about just staying? I don't trust you to get home safely by yourself"
Jungkook watched as you frowned, clearly not appreciating his uneeded concern. You were 25, not 16 and drunk for the first time.
"For someone who hates being babied, you're the biggest hypocrite when it comes to me"
“Yeah, say what you want I’m not changing my mind”
The way Jungkook decided for you— it would’ve pissed you off it he didn’t look oh so hot, sat on the couch laid back into the dark leather, biceps straining against his jacket, rings catching the faint light and a stupidly attractive lopsided smile.
God, what was he doing to you? Self-control was always your forte and suddenly it disappeared completely from your vocabulary.
“I’m not 16 anymore—“
“No, you’re not. You’re older now.”
“…Exactly”
“You’re proving my point, you realise that?”
Jungkook rolled his eyes, holding his hand out like he expected you to take it without question. You were drunk, not blind. You saw the glint in his eyes as he stared at you. He looked so sure of himself that you almost took his hand, before realising what he was doing and shaking your head stubbornly, earning a tut from Jungkook.
“Please stay”
You rolled your eyes at his stupid puppy eyes, realising he was trying to guilt you into staying.
“No”
“Pretty please?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“I don’t trust you”
Jungkook gasped, clutching his chest like you’d actually shot him, recoiling back into the couch, making you smile no matter how much you tried to fight it off. He always knew how to convince you, he’d learned that much over the years.
“One more song?”
“One.”
The one song request of his turned into a full hour of karaoke, bringing you to 4am and back on his couch. You’d had a few more drinks, mostly laughing at how Jungkook opted for his lollipop instead of more alcohol.
Jungkook could sing, everyone in the world and their ancestors knew it. It was different actually watching him and hearing it right beside you. You’d always admired him, anyone would. So, with your unfinished drink settled between your thighs , head tilted in awe as Jungkook sang, you realised that you were in trouble.
A fuck ton of trouble.
Not only did you love someone, you loved Jungkook.
In the moment it caught you off guard. Is that what made you realise you were in love? Something you’d seen and heard a million times? You giggled, catching Jungkook’s attention as he ended the song, microphone clutched in his ring clad hand.
“Are you laughing at me?”
You fake coughed, clearing your throat as you rubbed the back of your neck, unsure of how to actually look at him now. He hadn’t changed, it had only been a few seconds. So why did it feel like your skin was on fire and your nerves were restless?
“No”
“Okay, weirdo”
Should you tell him?
“I’m not weird”
God it would be so complicated to date him.
“Yes you are”
What if he just saw you as a friend?
“No, Jungkook, I’m not”
“So why did you just—“
“I think I love you”
Maybe you didn’t love him and maybe you were just drunk and maybe you shouldn’t be talking in case you confessed out loud and maybe you didn’t notice Jungkook go still—
Oh shit.
You didn’t mean to say it at all. You wanted to at least think it through while you were sober, not drunk and realising you were in love with Jeon Jungkook.
For a second, he didn’t reply. You didn’t look up at him, not wanting to know his answer from the look on his face. For another few seconds, it was completely still in the room. While Jungkook (as usual) couldn’t keep his eyes off of your statue-like posture, you were silently cursing at yourself, thoughts a mix of regret and frustration at yourself for being drunk.
“I should go—“
Jungkook didn’t do anything half-assed. Especially not showing you that he couldn’t imagine his life with anyone else in it. His kiss sure as fuck wasn’t half-assed. You barely had time to blink before he had tugged your arm towards him, his tattooed hand slinking behind your neck to pull you in, lips pressing oh so perfectly into yours.
Jesus Christ, you knew you were missing out by not dating him but you never knew someone could make a kiss so perfect. Well, it was Jungkook, everything he did was perfect.
It felt like second-nature, the way your hand rested on his thigh, head tilting to slot yourself against him more comfortably, a small hum of appreciation falling past your lips and into his mouth. The cool metal of his piercing was quick to find its way against your lips and only when you thought you might pass out from a lack of air did you pull away from him. Jungkook frowned slightly, the crease between his brows making you laugh, shaking your head at him.
“Don’t look at me like that after you just kissed me”
“Like what?”
“Like I kicked a puppy”
“Come back”
“Let me breathe?”
Jungkook didn’t— of course he didn’t. He pulled you right into his lap, skirt straining against the stretch of your thighs around his, your hands slipping under his jacket to rest where his neck met his shoulder, leaning in to kiss him again. Jungkook looked up at you for a moment before he smiled, delaying the kiss to whisper into your mouth.
“I know I love you”
You rolled your eyes, lightly shoving him away even though you made no attempt to leave his lap.
“Shut up and kiss me again”
“You’re so hot”
“I said shut up”
“Yes ma’am”
His mouth pressed to yours again, hands sliding across your thighs, teasing at the hem before slipping slightly under, tugging you closer in the process of his wandering hands. Keeping your hands off of each other was far out of the question. You threaded your fingers into his hair, manicured nails lightly scraping against his skin as he bit at your lip, humming at the way you weren’t even trying to hide that you wanted him.
Jungkook paused for just a second to glance up at you, smiling as his kisses trailed down to the junction of your jaw and neck, gentle pecks turning to bites as he licked over each small bruise forming along his path.
He couldn’t believe he’d waited years to do this, god the things he’d missed out on. Your thighs pressed against his, all your weight keeping him on the couch (even though he could and would very easily lift you with a single hand) and Jungkook cursed against your skin.
“We’re drunk”
You sighed in response, eyes fluttering shut as you pulled him back up to kiss him again, contrasting the earlier tension as your lips brushed his. You knew you shouldn’t go any further, with the risk of waking up and realising you might’ve ruined your friendship.
“Okay”
“Okay?”
“Okay.”
At least you knew you wanted each other. Fuck, you’d wanted each other for years. You didn’t move from his lap, trying not to think about the burn in your chest as you watched his head tilt back, Adam’s apple bobbing, sharp jaw on perfect show, perfectly open for you to just—
You shook your head, forcing the thoughts away to follow him, leaning your head on his shoulder, pressing gentle kisses to his neck, staying content with this for the night. After a while he’d pulled you up, pushing one of his shirts over you and tugging you into his bed, whispering reassurances of ‘I love you’s and ‘we’ll figure it out’s into your hair.
Jeon Jungkook was two things. He was perfect, and he was yours.
Pairing/ Characters: Jungkook X female reader. Slight age gap (early and mid-20s) 💜The characters in my stories are fictional and do not reflect real people!💜
Summary: The world as we know it has ended. Y/n and Jungkook grew up close, but never learned about sex and are very oblivious eaven into adulthood. (more so y/n). You find a game of dirty truth or dare and decide to play for your 21st birthday. Because that’s what friends do, right?
How will y/n and Jungkook deal with the aftermath of your birthday now that the unspoken boundaries of friendship have been broken? And what happened that day 2 months ago?
This is basically just very sexually frustrated and horny, haha. Gets a bit deep too... sorry about that.
word count: ~18k
Song recommendation: Sugar! Honey! Love! by Kali Uchis, and Words by Zara Larsson.
Grene: Smut, truth or dare, friends to lovers, post-apocalyptic world, decent amount of plot, I think. Fluff because I'm a hopeless romantic, slight angst (but healthy relationship), switch/ softdom JK.
Warnings: explicit Smut, nsfw, mature, 18+, language, mention of death and grief, alcohol, handjob, fingering, murder, injury, guns, knives, trauma, slight angst, sexual tension, masturbation, oral female reciving, spanking, loss of virginity as an adult, graphic description of sexual acts, dryhumping, very dirty truth or dare, mild possessiveness.
A/n: This is the full story. If you prefer parts, you can read part 1 here, and part 2 here. This is my first smut story. Please excuse any weird sentences or phrasing; English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy. Love feedback 💜
Also, because of the nature of this being the characters first experiences, I tried very hard to not have it come across as infantilizing, but still realistic. Hope that worked out!
Currently working on a new, quite different story, so stay tuned for that if you like my writing 💜
Tell me the truth - part 1.
You were so young when it all happened, the war that ended everything. You don’t even remember what the world used to be like, other than glimpses of birthdays, play, and time with your siblings. But it is all hazy now.
The group you were with when the world seemingly ended used to be large, but things happen, and people passed away. In the end, it was only you, your dad, a lady named Jenna, and this other family. They had a boy who was just a few years older than you. It was nice to have someone to play with, and you and Jungkook got along great. That is, until you turned 13.
It’s not that you've grown apart or anything, but life's struggles seem to be taking a toll on both of you. Jungkook has become a bit more shy and closed off, but still your close friend.
Then, there was the incident two months ago. It is just you and Jungkook now.
How you have gotten so lucky to survive sickness, accidents, and the random brutality that is part of surviving in this world you do not know, but you feel it is both your biggest gift and a horrible curse.
You rarely encounter other people, and most of the time, you have learned that it is for the best. You often wonder how many humans are left. Your group escaped populated areas and went as remote as possible for safety. The plan is to keep it that way. After all, somehow, it’s not so bad when it’s just you and Jungkook.
.
.
.
The morning sun penetrates through the fabric of your tent and hits your eyes. You scrunch your nose and pull your warm sleeping bag over your head, wanting sweet sleep for just a tiny bit longer. Then, the smell of coffee hits your nose.
Flipping the fabric off your body, you sit up and rub your eyes. They focus on a small piece of paper to your side. You pick it up and squint, “Happy 21st birthday!” A smile spreads on your dry lips as you look over to see an empty sleeping bag next to yours.
“Jungkook~ Are you making coffee?” you croak, clearing your voice just as you hear him from outside the tent. “You bet I am!”.
Sliding up the zipper of the tent, you duck and step out into the morning sun, still in your thin pajamas. The air hitting your skin blends with the scent of coffee, making the tiny hairs on your body stand up.
You sit down on the mat next to Jungkook in front of the small campfire he made some time before you woke up, half-heartedly pulling a wool blanket over your shoulders. It’s slightly cold… You had forgotten it outside the night before… You need to stop doing that. Luckily, the morning sky is clear.
Jungkook hands you a cup of hot coffee. It hovers for a few seconds before your brain catches up. “The small pleasures in life.” you nod. Grabbing the cup, you let your fingers run over it. Its warmth gives you comfort eaven before you take a sip, turning your fingertips pink.
Jungkook can’t help but smile as he sees the way you have messed up your braid while sleeping, melting into your cup of coffee.
At times like this, he is happy he tends to wake up before you. He falls asleep after you as well, seemingly not needing as much sleep as you do. Maybe because of the nightmares that plague you so often? Jungkook enjoys sleeping. It’s not that. But being up is simply time better spent, in his opinion.
His eyes subconsciously drift down to your chest, only covered by your pajama shirt. A bad habit he can’t seem to shake. They dart away before you notice, and you assume the slight flush on his cheeks as he sits there seemingly lost in thought is from the hot coffee he’s been drinking.
You take a big sip from your cup, enjoying the quiet morning in comfortable silence… Only interrupted by birds chirping now and then.
Jungkook puts out the small campfire so the smoke won't give away your location for too long, just in case. Stomping on it before plopping back down next to you.
“Have you eaten yet?” you ask between sips. Jungkook shakes his head.
“Hungry?”
“Mhm…” You nod.
It is impossible for you not to notice the muscles in his arms when he reaches over you to grab some food. Whatever your brain has been up to these last few years, you wonder when you will get it to obey you again.
Jungkook has started exercising a lot in addition to all the physical work both of you do weekly, and it is showing. Your heart skips a beat, and you question if you have been drinking your coffee too fast, given how hot you're suddenly getting.
As the two of you share a can of soup, Jungkook looks at you, eyes shining slightly, and his back straightens. “Do you want to do something special, since it’s your birthday?”
You furrow your brows for a moment.
“Well… there is this one thing, since I’m 21 now…” You drag on. “What? You want alcohol?” he scoffs. “SO?” you whine. “Ok, ok,” he chuckles warmly.
“There is… like, a party store in the abandoned small town down the hill, if I remember correctly?” Jungkook ponders.
“Perfect,” you reply, “so, when do we leave? The sun goes down early this time of year.”
Jungkook looks at you with a funny expression. “For being 21, you sure know how to be impatient like a child. But let's just go now, no need to sit around… maybe we’ll find some more supplies as well.” You laugh and get up to grab your backpack. “Yeah, I’ll throw on some clothes, then let's go”.
After pulling on a sports bra, white t-shirt, purple cardigan, jeans, boots, and a small walk later, you look around the store in awe. “They have so much stuff! This place was not raided at all...” You beam at the shelves full of god knows what, careful not to trip on the tiles that had started to peel up at the edges.
Injuries usually start because of stupid reasons like tripping in an old building, then before you know it, someone has a rusty nail sticking through the hand they caught themselves with … and then …
“I guess people weren’t thinking of parties.” Jungkook mumbles, interrupting your thoughts.
Out of habit, the two of you look for and gather all the food and snacks that are still good before you continue to look around.
“Y/N, look at this!” You walk over to Jungkook, kneeling next to him to read the mysterious packaging he found.
“Sour shots… strawberry and apple? Seems good to me.”
Jungkook nods in approval as you stuff the boxes with individual tiny flasks in the backpack, getting excited.
Drifting to the shelf with games, your eyes settle on a box with three decks of cards; “Truth or dare,” you read, “Ready to get to know everything about your friends? This is just the right drinking game for you! Push boundaries with this dirty addition. Perfect for adult parties, crazy birthdays, or if you just want to get wild. There are three types of cards depending on how crazy you want to get: green, yellow, and red-” you mumble, a slight smile pulling at the corner of your mouth.
You stuff it in the bag, thinking this is just the type of thing a proper birthday needs. The box said that it is a drinking game, perfect. Besides, you do want to get to know Jungkook even better, if possible... Right?
You turn around to see him standing in the costume section. As you’re walking cheerfully over to him, you almost fall in surprise when he suddenly spins around- pressing his back to the small bags of costumes behind him, eyes wide.
“Oh y/n! You-you startled me!” a flush starting to appear on his face. “Sorry… you’re very jumpy today.” You half-laugh at how embarrassed he got, trying to get your own heart rate down.
He usually doesn’t scare easily. Mabye he's thinking of that day?
“I’m ready to go when you are,” you smile.
“Yeah, let's go!” he says, a bit too quickly. Placing his tense hand on your shoulder, he is more or less walking you out of the store.
Jungkook makes sure that you don’t look back. He doubts you would take it well if you knew he had spent way too long staring at pictures of half-naked wommen in sexy costumes, lace and stockings that were completely sheer in places clothes usually are not.
“Hey, do you ever think about them?” you say quietly as you leave the store. Jungkook looks down at you with a weak smile, shoulders hunched as his focus shifts. “Of course, and we talk about them all the time.” he exhales and turns his gaze up.
His statement was not meant to discourage the conversation, but rather to acknowledge the huge holes left in your lives.
The two of you start the trip back up to your camp.
“It’s so hard not to think about it.” Your voice is now only a whisper, but he hears you. “I know, I think about it too.”
There is not much more to say, so you change the subject. Keep pushing as you always do. Both of you are no strangers to loss, it would be fair to say you have gon a bit numb to it. But now that it’s just the two of you, it hits a bit differently.
The chatter dies down eventually, and you fall into a comfortable silence.
When you were children, you never shut up. But, in recent years, this silence has become a common occurrence.
Your eyes shift between Jungkook's broad shoulders moving slightly as he walks, and the blue sky over the hill. Just enjoying his presence, filling your lungs with fresh air.
You're alive.
You remember a time when you were teenagers, coming out of a town, arguing about what puzzle to do first. The group had taken pity on you, and you and Jungkook had been given time to go pick out something to do during the long evening hours. The bookstore didn’t have a lot, but it had puzzles. Backpacks were filled, and they were eventually all finished.
The breeze is keeping you cool despite the sun. You know the temperature will drop once the sun sets. You have to remember to bring the blanket inside the tent tonight. That way, it can be warm for you in the morning.
“I think I heard someone say that alcohol helps with keeping you warm.” You say cheerfully, feet dragging through the grass. “Yeah?” Jungkook smiles, “I heard that too.”
Jungkook has had alcohol before, but not this type, only low percentage stuff, really.
“Do you think we’ll have time to pick strawberries in the field before you get wasted?” he jokes, smile growing, making his nose scrunch. “I would like that, actually-” you perk up, going along with it, picking up your pace a bit as you see the top of the hill approaching.
Dropping your backpack next to the tent, you turn to look at the old strawberry field, starting only a few meters from the tent. It’s stretching far before ending at the start of a forest, hiding everything in its own little bubble. Needless to say, the camping spot is not random.
Jungkook walks past you. He’s wearing only a white t-shirt and cargo pants now, having left his jacket in the tent.
You let your eyes linger on him; the way his hair falls on his handsome face when bending down to gather the strawberries, just for a moment, before you follow.
You start filling a bucket together, eating some along the way.
Exhaling, you lean your forehead against Jungkook's as you pinch a strawberry off the stem. “Trying to read my mind?" he jokes. “No, sorry, just tired…” Your limbs are starting to get a bit heavy...
You stretch your arms high above your head and take the elastic out of your hair, letting it fall down past your shoulders. “How about I try to give you a haircut?”
You squint down at him, bunny smile wide on his face. “Look, it’s not that I don’t trust you and your diy hair saga-”
“I think I do a good job at coloring hair!” Jungkook cuts you off. “Yeah, but I’m thinking I want it longer,” you smile. “And I just got rid of the last traces of color from last time.”
He shrugs and puts a strawberry in his mouth. You kneel again and continue working.
Jungkook wonders if he should ask you if he can try to braid your hair, but he lets it go. You just let your hair down, after all. Honestly, he just likes contact.
When you were little, you used to curl up together in front of campfires, hide in the same sleeping bag during storms… When he started to get bigger and taller than you, you would sometimes jump on his back and let him carry you when you got tired of walking. But all that slowly stopped. He misses it. Eaven though it was he who had pulled away.
The sun starts to get low in the sky quicker than anticipated, and you look at him. “Aren’t you cold?” you ask with a raised eyebrow. “No,” he shakes his head, “but we should probably get inside now, before that becomes a problem.”
You agree, excited for the evening plans. Remembering to grab that silly blanket on your way inside.
You both stop in front of the tent, taking turns washing your hands and faces with soap and water from a bucket.
Sipping down the tent and turning on the little battery-powered light you had hung up, you frown. “We definitely need to find some new batteries,” you state as it fails to light the tent fully, giving everything a warm glow.
It’s just a two-person tent, but it’s big enough. Plenty of space for the sleeping bags, and you can sit up straight. But, the distance between the two of you is not too big, leaving just enough space for the bottles and- “So, you ready to start?” Jungkook looks at you as he gets the drinks out of the backpack.
“Jup.”
You pull out one of the tiny bottles and rip off the cap. You stare at it intently for a few seconds before you remember the cards.
You pull them out as well, and Jungkook looks at you with curious eyes.
“I brought a game.” Your eyes meet, and you hand it over to him. He grabs it and starts reading, a surprised look growing on his face.
“Well…” he pulls out the green cards, “I guess we start with these then.”
It’s not like entertainment is easy to come by these days, so eaven though he's a bit unsure if it's a good idea, he figures this game will do.
“I get to ask you first, it’s my birthday!” You stretch your hand out, and Jungkook takes the flask from you, giving you the cards, forgetting to read the game rules.
“This will be fun.” you think, excited to get to pick his brain.
Then, you notice the look on his face, and you take a deep breath. This is your idea, after all. “You know what, why don’t you ask me first?”
You know Jongkook can get shy about secrets and such, so why don’t you break the ice? You smile, swapping the items again.
“Truth or dare?” he says with a raised eyebrow, pulling a card from the deck.
“Truth.”
He looks at the card and freezes up, immediately getting what it’s asking.
“Um…” he starts, heat rising to his face. You tilt your head and wait, noticing his body language.
“... whe-when was the last time you-you- … p-played with yourself?”
You furrow your brows. Why is he so nervous? His stammer eaven came out. Jungkook's eyes are glued to the card as he pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue. Jungkook's head, however, is now elsewhere.
He remembers the time many years ago when you caught him staring at your body while bathing in a creek, wearing a bikini. You were less comfortable with yourself then, and had been so embarrassed. So, he learned to hide it. He tried not to do it, of course… Aunt Jenna had also noticed and gave him a short, but stern talk.
Not to mention the time a few years ago he had a boner in the morning, and you saw… how confused, concerned, and curious you were.
The memory of your wide eyes as you looked at him had burned itself into his mind. He had snapped at you and asked you to mind your own business. It was not like him at all, but he felt it should be private.
Now, he has mastered the art of hiding all that stuff. But, he can not believe you saw it… just the thought of you seeing him like that is too much. It stirs up all sorts of conflicting feelings.
Still, he can’t help picturing your body when he sneaks off to touch him self. Which he also used to try to avoid. But the feeling building up is so intense, and it makes him desperate- He just can not help it. He always ended up breaking eventually.
Maybe it was better when you were shy about your body? He wants you to be comfortable, but it makes things so much harder for him. He just wants to… actually, he does not know exactly. He had pulled away, setting boundaries for himself.
Never in a million years had he thought he would ask you something like this.
“Played with myself?” you ask quietly as he slowly lifts his gaze. You are surprised at how hard he’s blushing.
“Like, you know...” he starts again, eyes not fully meeting yours, trying to avoid aggravating the butterflies in his stomach. “touching yourself.” he swallows hard, curiosity pushing him to not throw the cards away in embarrassment.
Your unchanging expression and tilted head have him taking a deep, shaky breath. “...Down there?” he points, and your eyes go wide. “No. I mean, I don’t- why would I do that?” You fumble your words, his energy rubbing off on you. “Because… it feels good?” he states, suddenly feeling like he needs some alcohol.
“Oh,” you say, nodding slowly. It’s your turn to start blushing. It feels weird talking about this with him, but it sure is interesting.
“Do you?” you try, but he shakes his head. “That’s not my question.”
“...Why don’t we taste these?” He points at the bottles of alcohol, making you laugh a bit.
You look at the tiny bottle still in your hand, staring at it intently again for a few seconds before putting it to your lips and tilting your head all the way back. Intense coughing quickly follows as the alcohol hits your throat and burns its way into your stomach.
“Definitely warms, you try it,” you push out in between coughs as Jungkook laughs.
He follows your example, and winces.
“Right?” you say, and he nods his head, eyes still closed.
“It’s good,” he swallows.
You take a couple more, trying out both flavors. Jungkook tries them as well, not feeling the burn as much anymore.
The tension in the room is easing. You can feel a slight buzz in your body, and looking over at Jungkook, you can see he looks very relaxed. Not wanting the evening to end yet, you remember the game.
“Your turn, truth or dare?” You think it's best to move on.
“Um, I’ll do truth too.” he mumbles. You pull a card and turn it around, reading it out loud.
“Do you like it rough or gentle?” Once again, your face carries a confused expression, but you can swear Jungkook’s soul just left his body.
He’s not sure, but is this card asking what he thinks? Based on his reaction, you figure this card has a similar theme to the last one.
“A-a bit more … rough, I guess-” he stammers, grabbing the cards out of your hands as you look at him. But you don’t let him move on from that statement so easily, feeling like you’ve got your answer.
“So you do touch yourself?”
“ I-” Jungkook goes silent. What can he say that won't make you feel like he's weird?
“Well, it’s not like you’re usually gentle with yourself. So, I guess that’s not the weirdest thing in the world?” you ask.
The alcohol is making you think less about your words and their implications. Besides, it’s not like you fully get the topic at hand.
Jungkook's heart is beating in his ears. But, apparently, the alcohol is affecting him as well.
“You really don’t?” he asks. Wondering if it's possible that you really don't feel the same drive he does. You do, to some extent, of course. You just haven't thought to do anything about it.
“...no,” you say, quietly. “Guess I have a lot to learn, huh?”
You swear Jungkook's eyes just got darker somehow... or maybe it's just the light? Anyway, you figure it's best to move on before he gets quiet again.
“Ask me?” you nudge.
“Truth or dare?”
He looks up while pulling a new green card and sees the heat in your face. The butterflies in his stomach are feeling like they are trying to tickle him to death.
You shift your position a bit, sitting on your knees. “I’ll try, dear.” You nod. You are starting to realize that something about this topic, with Jungkook… and the way he's acting... It’s making your body feel weird.
“Ok, umm,” he tilts his head nervously to the side and looks at his chosen card. “Remove your bra.” he says quietly. To his surprise, you comply, taking off your cardigan and dragging your bra off from underneath your t-shirt. Thinking a little more embarrassment can’t hurt. It’s not like you always wear a bra around him anyway. But your face burns as you can feel your nipples hard against your white t-shirt.
Jungkook can feel his heart beating hard in his chest, and his hands get a bit sweaty. Not knowing if it would be wrong to look in your direction or not, but he does. Intently letting his eyes rest on your face, not your body.
He can clearly see your boobs through the fabric. This is not good, but he wants to continue.
“Truth or dare, Jungkook”, you say as you down another shot. Feeling like you need it, suddenly. Jungkook also takes one, trying to stay calm and distract himself from the way his body is starting to tingle in that familiar way.
“Truth”.
“Well…” you look at the card, “What’s your favorite position?”. You look at each other, both a bit confused. “...I don’t know?” he shrugs, and you nod, accepting the answer.
“Truth for me too.” You look at the cards, and he takes one.
“Rate everyone in the room on a scale from one to ten, and tell them what the most attractive part of their body is”.
You hold your breath for a second, contemplating whether you should be honest. Would it be weird to tell your friend he’s hot?
“That’s... two questions…” You say, trying to buy some time.
“Just do the first one, then?” Jungkook suggests, suddenly anxious about what you will say, holding his breath without realizing.
“Um.. 10?” You just say it. You feel his eyes burn on you, but there’s nothing wrong with it! You convince yourself. He’s attractive, it’s just a fact!
Your body starts to betray you. The way he looks at you is making your heart beat between your legs. He lets out his breath, mindlessly using his tongue to fidget with his lip piercing. He's liking this.
You’re just happy he’s not making fun of you, though still a bit annoyed at his amused expression… but this new dark look is still in his eyes… and he’s staring at you.
“I’ll do dare” Jungkook interrupts your stream of consciousness, and you pull a card, all flustered. “Give us your best finishing sound”. You are left confused again, but Jungkook seems to get this one.
He opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, but no sound comes out. His eyes meet yours. “That's- that’s kind of embarrassing,” he finally chukkels lightly.
You furrow your brows. “Do you want to stop?” you ask, concerned. “No, no. It’s not that,” he protests, grabs a drink, and proceeds to down it.
“I… I can close my eyes?” you suggest, curiosity getting the best of you.
“Yeah, fuck it.” He breaths, taking you by surprise. Maybe your previous comment about his looks has given him some confidence?
You shut your eyes. And, after a couple of silent moments, Jungkook lets his breath go heavy. He’s letting out a low whine, followed by a couple of moans.
You are taken by surprise, feeling the sounds resonate throughout your entire body, into your bones. Intensifying the soft throbbing in your pussy as you start to feel a little wet.
You squirm, eyes opening, and he stops instantly.
“Ok!” you state with a shaky voice, and Jungkook wonders if he just made a fool out of himself. Whatever you expected, that was not it.
The tension in his body is rising. Blood is quickly starting to pool down from his head, making his pants tight. He hoped that making those sounds would ease some of the tension, but it had the opposite effect. Jungkook pulls his knee up, crossing his arm over his body to hide it.
“I’ll do dare too?” you nod. He pulls a card, trying to stay calm.
“Seriously..?” he says apologetically. “Take off your pants”. You start laughing nervously.
You sit up and pull your jeans off. Shimming slightly to let them slide off easier, leaving you with your t-shirt and panties.
You're blushing from your cheeks to the tip of your shoulders. Honestly, for some reason, you want all your clothes off… but that would be weird.
Jungkook shifts as his bulge strains uncomfortably against his pants. “Fuck” he thinks to himself.
You don’t know why, but you like the way he is looking at you. That darkness in his eyes. The intense blush. You don’t know what it is about it, you just love it. Eaven though it’s embarrassing as hell.
You pull your knees up under your chin, hiding your body a bit, or so you thought.
“Truth or dare, Jungkook?” you ask, and he snaps out of it. You look down at the cards and notice it’s just one more green card after this one.
“Truth-” he says with a slight strain to his voice, hoping to tone things down for a second, though that’s not really what he wants.
“What’s the most embarrassing place you have done it?”
He thinks. Both of you are assuming the cards are referring to masturbation. He looks away and bites his lip, contemplating his entire life for a second. Ultimately, he lets his body win.
“Here, while you were sleeping in the tent one meter away from me…” his blushing deepens, if eaven possible. You look at him in disbelief. “We have been here for like four days!?” you blurt out without thinking, and the heat rushes hard to your face.
How often does he play with himself? And how could you not notice? How is he doing it? The questions you want to ask are making your head spin.
Jungkook can tell exactly what's on your mind. Starting to look like a deer in headlights, he tries to move on. Fast.
“Last green, truth or dare y/n?”. He picks up the last green card.
“Truth,” you speak through your fingers as you hide your face.
“Do you enjoy watching people pleasuring themselves?” his voice is slightly raspy as he says it. Clearing his voice as he bites at his lip, his eyes filled with deep curiosity.
You caught on now, remembering how he said that playing with yourself down there feels good, and to Jungkook's relief, you do not ask him to explain again.
Something about his tone, you honestly feel like he just asked you if you would enjoy watching him pleasuring himself. You close your eyes and hold your breath before speaking, embarrassment and confusion holding you back.
You can’t help but try to imagine what it would be like to watch Jungkook. But, you have no reference. Other than those sounds he made earlier… where his hands would go… You feel how your own pulse keeps beating down there… what will his face look like when he feels that way? ... and based on that thought-
“Yeah. I mean… I think so?” you laugh out. Your panties start to get soaked as the sound of his moans replays in your head.
Jungkook can't help the amused shock that appears on his face. He did not expect you to say that. In fact, you keep surprising him today. Not that he has ever given you the chance to get into these topics before.
His eyes fall to your panties, the way you are sitting exposing the fact that they are completely soaked.
His breath catches in his throat as he stares. His body’s screaming at him.
You catch on and look down. Eyes going wide, you let out a squeal and slam your knees down as you fold over yourself.
“I didn’t pee myself I swear!” You try. You’re completely lost on what to say, but Jungkook just nods.
“I know.”
You look up at him, tears threatening to leave the corner of your eyes. “You- know?”.
“Yeah… s-stuff like that happens to me too- you know?” … “Well, not exactly like that- but-” he trails off.
You sit up again, heart beating so fast you think it will leave your chest.
In a split second, seeing you that embarrassed, Jungkook makes a decision.
He lets his arm fall to the floor, and he lowers his leg. Exposing how his hard cock is straining against his pants.
In this moment, he also decides he has definitely had enough alcohol. His fingers nervously tap over the smooth fabric of his sleeping bag.
There it is. Those big, curious eyes.
“Does that- hurt…?” you whisper, barely audible. “No, does that?” he nods towards you, and you look down.
Your head feels fuzzy at the thought of him having a similar feeling in his body to you right now.
“...No”.
The silence that follows feels thick and awkward, new, yet … good? Your body feels so needy-
“I think we should stop there for tonight, we are out of green cards. I think the yellow ones would kill me,” Jungkook is gently laughing, but there is something very serious about the way he says it at the same time.
He’s scared that he’ll jump you if he doesn't stop this right now. He doesn't want to scare you. And what would he eaven do? He has some ideas, but they seem insane… he knows he’s not exactly completely sober.
You look at him, eyes wide, not knowing what to do with yourself.
“Ok”.
You tuck yourself into your sleeping bags. A reluctance hangs in the air, so palpable you almost try to touch it. But if Jungkook said he wants to stop there, you think that must be what he wants.
As he stretches out to turn off the light, you get this intense urge to kiss him. “That’s it-” you think, “I’m going insane”.
The thought of kissing him had crossed your mind before, but you thought that was just because he was technically really cute, and the only boy around- that you must just want to kiss someone, not him in particular…
Jungkook notices how you are staring at him and gives you a shy smile, willing himself to turn off the light. He has dealt with this before, after all.
You have sort of felt similar feelings as well, but not like this. Not this intense. You feel like you’ve just opened a door you did not know existed, but you have been holding it closed with all your strength.
Suddenly, you are very aware of the fact that you are a grown woman, and he’s a man.
You let your fingers grace your lips in the dark, the way Jungkook was looking at you just half an hour ago, vivid and clear in your mind. The fact that he is lying within arm's reach, just as he does every night for the last two months, suddenly makes you feel more drunk than you actually are. The knowledge and curiosity about the things he has been doing to himself is not helping.
Why shouldn't you try?
Your hands slowly run down your body, ending at your wet underwear. Holding your breath, you carefully and quietly take them off. Fingers hovering over your body, contemplating, feeling stupid.
“...Jungkook?” you try, wondering if he is still awake.
“Yeah?” he answers, and you smile.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep”.
You let your statement hang in the air. You wonder if your heart keeps beating like this- how will you ever be able to sleep?
“It’s been a very long day,” Jungkook whispers, but you can hear the hesitation in his voice. Both of you know you should move camp tomorrow, never staying in the same place for too long.
“Can I ask you a question?”
You feel the heat rising to your face again as you continue to contemplate. What if he gets mad at you? He is pretty private, after all. He opened up more than you thought he would while playing that game. You have already pushed things far. Maybe it's best to keep to yourself?
“Sure,” he whispers, and you hear him turning towards you in his sleeping bag. He can’t see you in the dark, but still.
“When you touch yourself… how do I do it?” Your voice shakes, the alcohol and the intense need for some sort of release conquering your concerns and embarrassment.
Jungkook feels his breath grow heavy at the thought, “Um… how do you do it?”. He tries to think, and an idea starts to form in his mind.
“Please,” you plead.
His hand finds its way down to squeeze himself through his boxers, a hiss leaving his mouth as he finally gains some sort of friction.
“Jungkook…?”
“Um, yeah, ok,” he tries to gather himself, taking a second to breathe. So horny he can’t bother with fears or thoughts of how he’ll feel about this tomorrow anymore. He's been so dead set on willing himself to sleep. This is taking a turn so fast that it does not feel real.
“Just try to feel where you are most sensitive first, ok?”
“Ok”.
You let your knees fall open, gently letting your fingers make contact with your folds, immediately wincing at how sensitive you are. You start tapping your fingers around, holding your breath.
Suddenly, one of your fingers makes contact with your clit, and you jolt, head falling back as you start tapping it repeatedly. “mmm- ok, I think I found somewhere,” you breathe, small waves of pleasure going into your body.
Jungkook bites his lip for the hundredth time this night, hard.
“Would you mind if I also-”
“Please do,” you cut him off.
“Ok, ok…” he pulls his boxers off hurriedly, wrapping his hand around himself.
“What now?” you ask as you grow desperate for more.
“Try stroking?” Jungkook half-breathes, half moans, as he starts doing just that. His entire body tingles warmly, not fully believing what's happening.
“Stroking?”
... “Rubbing? yeah… that sounds more right… mmfh-” he struggles to pace himself as he instructs you. But he wants you to get the hang of it, to follow along.
You follow his instructions and start carefully rubbing your clit. “Oh-oh god,” moaning as the sensation hits you hard, earning a pleased hum back from Jungkook, who picks up his pace.
He tightens his grip, bathing in the feeling of ecstasy that comes with doing this next to you, with you. He wants so much more, feel you, taste you. He lets out a low groan as his hips involuntarily buck into his hand.
Not hiding this is starting to feel like an out-of-body experience. Or maybe it’s the alcohol?
The images of the way he was looking at you start to flash before your eyes again, blending with the sound of his heavy breathing and small moans next to you… blending with yours as you start to move your hand faster, clenching around nothing.
This is driving you crazy, biting your lips and rubbing them together, imagining him kissing you. It hits you that it’s his touch that you’re craving.
“Jungkook- Jungkook, I don’t think I can do this,” you whine as you feel a knot start to form in your stomach.
“Yeah- yes you can- just keep going, ah-” he moans through heavy breaths, his hand running up and down his torso while he fucks his palm.
“No, I can’t!” you whine, sitting up, abruptly turning on the light while trying to catch your breath.
You freeze as you see Jungkook, lying there, clearly startled. But my god- messy hair slightly sticking to his forehead, fucked out expression on his face, eyes glossy and dark, face all red, lips swollen from biting at them all night.
“Wha-” he starts, but you cut him off again.
“Jungkook~” you drag out as you lean towards him, mind blank. In that moment, he is so glad he made himself cum this morning before you woke up. If he didn’t, he’s scared he would have ruined this moment.
“What if-” you start, laying a hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. Jungkook's eyes follow your every move as you scoot your sleeping bag flush next to his. “What if we touch each other?”
You hold your breath, ready to cry if rejected. But he immediately, gently pulls you down next to him. Not quite able to believe you just suggested that.
You grab the blanket for some privacy as you get out of your sleeping bags, too embarrassed to be completely exposed to each other. You are friends after all, right?
“Tell me to stop whenever, ok?” he looks into your eyes, bunny smile appearing briefly before he starts to rub your waist. “Show me where”, he whispers softly.
You guide his hand down slowly, butterflies filling your stomach, feeling his hands on you in this way, eyes fluttering shut as he makes contact with your clit.
“Wow,” he whispers under his breath as he feels the way you immediately tense at his touch, gently starting to rub back and forth.
“Like that?” he smiles. All you manage is to nod while giving him your hand. He holds his hand around yours, placing it on his cock.
Jungkook starts using your hand, dragging it up and down his length, lips slightly parted at the feeling of your soft hand. Your mind is blown at how hard, yet velvety smooth he feels as you try and fail at closing your hand around him completely.
Your pleasure picks up almost where it left off, the fact of what is happening only exaggerating things. You're definitely into this, and you’d definitely be into watching him do this to himself as well, you realize.
You lean your head onto his shoulder as beathy moans are coming out of you, taking in his scent, bucking your hips against his hand.
Jongkook gets the memo and picks up his pace. The back and forward motion turns into quick, sloppy circles over your clit as he tries his best. The clenching around nothing starts to make you feel weirdly empty, his touch making you go crazy. It feels so good.
You try as hard as you can to stroke him, but your hand starts to spasm slightly as you get close. Little do you know, your erratic movements are only bringing him closer as well, precum leaking out of him as louder, needy moans fill the tent.
Suddenly, the knot inside you snaps. Waves of pleasure surge through your body as your walls flutter, grinding onto Jongkook's hand, your body shaking uncontrollably at the new feeling. You moan and cry into his shoulder, his hand the only thing in your awareness.
The moment your mind starts to get less fizzy, coming down a bit, you realize Jungkook's eyes are glued shut. He holds your wrist, thrusting into your hand harshly, moaning with every breath.
You get it together, starting to move your hand.
“haaa-ah- just like that-” he moans abruptly.
Just moments after you, Jungkook’s balls start to tighten, the base of his cock throbs as he reaches his high.
Mesmerized, you watch as he completely lets go. Pleasure takes over his entire body. Desperate and erratic, then low, dragged-out moans leave his mouth. You feel his cock pulsing in your hand as something warm and wet starts to cover your hand in bursts, his entire body jerking slightly with each one.
He keeps tensing the muscles in his jaw. You stare at his neck as you see the blood pumping through his veins under his slightly wet skin.
Jungkook’s breath slows down as he starts to go quiet. Body going still.
“Shit-”
His voice comes out breathy as he starts to realize that he just messed up your blanket. You laugh lightly as you notice his apologetic expression. Embarrassment is starting to creep into you again as your eyes meet his.
What on earth did you just do?
“...We’ll just leave it. I keep forgetting it anyway.” You nod at the blancet, clearly out of it.
And now, it’s Jungkook's turn to laugh. He can’t quite figure out what to say. He's left softly looking at you in bewilderment. Before he figures it out, the exhaustion from the day hits you hard.
Feeling all safe next to Jungkook. It’s impossible not to drift off to sleep. Barely noticing how he puts one arm around you before your consciousness leaves.
.
.
.
I dare you - part 2.
The man with the gun is screaming at your dad. You’re frozen, not understanding a single word that’s being yelled. Guled in place halfway behind the door, you just stand there- staring.
Your dad screams at you to run. Jungkook's hand swipes up to the side of your face, covering it, turning your head away just in time. A shot rings out. The sound of your dad's body hitting the floor feels like it’s coming from underwater.
You are being dragged away, your feet starting to move on their own.
Another shot, another thud. You hear screaming. It’s you. The taste of blood in your mouth is strong. Is it from running so hard? Are you shot? You can’t feel your body. Only burning from running. Keep running.
Keep running.
You don’t think Jungkook knows where you are going, just away- dragging you away.
Run.
Run.
Finally, you whip your head around. No one is following? Where is Jungkook’s brother? Your dad is dead.
Your knees hit the ground as you fall, but you instantly get dragged up again. You hear Jungkook's frantic voice, but don’t catch anything of what he’s saying. Ears ringing.
Run, just keep running.
You wake up with a gasp, body aching from adrenaline. It’s light outside. It smells of coffee. You are safe. All of that was two months ago. You are safe. Paralyzed by your nightmare, you stare up at the fabric of the tent for a few minutes, mind racing. You had gotten away, but why only you two?
why?
You cut off your thoughts as you raise your hands to rub your face. This nightmare, this memory, it haunts you. It’s been almost a week since you had it last, but it always seems to come back. You need to get up, start your day, keep moving, just like you always do.
You feel into the smooth fabric of your sleeping bag. It’s a bit warmer than usual, no? Your blanket is halfway over it, right next to Jungkook's. Why is it so close?
Your eyes go wide as you remember what transpired the night before. Your heart starts to race at the thought of Jungkook sitting outside by the campfire, making morning coffee like he usually does. Are you supposed to just… walk out and say good morning? “Hey, thanks for doing that to me last night. I loved it. It was really good. You were so fucking hot, btw?” No way.
Your head throbs slightly, and you groan. Is this what a hangover feels like? The light is… It’s pointy!
You sit up, head in your hands, and stay there. Just breathing slowly. You are nauseous. Maybe you’ll have some of the plane crackers you found in the store yesterday for breakfast? That sounds like a good idea.
Jungkook peeks his head in through the opening of the tent, and your heart feels like it’s about to fall out through your butt. “Heyy…” you mumble.
“Had that nightmare again, huh? I could hear you were awake.” He looks very serious, but with flushed cheeks. He hands you the already half-eaten crackers. “Yeah… that obvious?” … “And are you reading my mind? I was just thinking of those!” You grab the crackers from him and shove one in your mouth. He laughs mildly at you before disappearing out again. “Coffee’s almost ready!”.
You never told Jungkook about your nightmare, but the day after the incident, you woke up screaming. Since then, you keep waking up horrified now and then, so he put two and two together.
You had been like this the last time something like that happened as well. It had been almost two years before you felt back to normal.
“That went well… Jungkook was blushing slightly, but that’s ok? Things seem to be normal enough?” you think, just sitting, staring out into the air.
You wonder if he is also having a hangover, given that he has seemingly eaten half the crackers and had the idea of giving the rest to you. Like you need them. You smile as butterflies fly in your stomach. He’s always so kind to you.
You put on your bra and button up your jeans that you had taken off the night before. Your eyes screw shut as you cringe at the thought of looking into his eyes right now, not knowing if you’ll be able to see him normally. Better just jump into it?
You step out of the tent, laying your cardigan over your shoulders. Your blancet is… unavailable… after all.
“Almost ready,” Jungkook says as he lifts the lid of the kettle, carefully angling it as he places it down so he doesn’t burn himself on the steam.
“Did you sleep well?” you ask, immediately regretting your decision. Maybe not mentioning anything in the recent past for a while is the best move to keep your memory in the present?
“Yeah, I woke up a bit later than usual,” he points at the coffee, and you nod. Maybe you aren’t the only one who got knocked out? You sit down next to him.
Jungkook feels his heart go warm. He wants to make you feel better, lean over and touch you. Run his hands through your hair, kiss your cheek, and warm his hands under your t-shirt. But he knows he can’t do that. You were probably drunk yesterday. Drunk people do things they regret, right?
Yesterday had blurred so many lines, and now he feels nervous again, like when he was freaking 15 years old, when you had slowly started to look less like a kid to him, and more like a cute girl.
All these years putting up these walls, and then he just goes and tears it all down in one night? Ridiculous. He’s a grown man; he can’t be acting like this.
He places a hand on your shoulder in determination, and you jolt slightly. Why is your shoulder tingling?
“I was thinking, it’s already the middle of the day. I know we have a rule to always stay less than five days at the same place… But if we leave now, it might get dark before we find somewhere else.” He says while thinking.
It’s true. Staying somewhere for a long time just increases the chances of someone finding you. People usually aren’t friendly nowadays. You probably do not seem friendly to outsiders either. But being forced to set up camp somewhere unsafe is stupid.
“I think you’re right,” you nod. You reach out to take the kettle off the fire, letting your free hand grace the small scar on your neck. Like a robot, Jungkook stands up and stomps it out, eliminating the smoke.
You pour coffee into your cup, waiting for it to get cold enough to drink, eating your crackers. Slowly sipping at the hot liquid in the midday sun.
You haven’t killed anyone yet, and Jungkook wants to keep it that way. It changes you, he knows that all too well. Having learned that lesson way too young. Besides, every encounter like that, the chances are you are the one who ends up dead, not the other person.
.
.
.
That day, 2 months ago.
“I just can’t relax…” Jungkook whispers as you walk through the abandoned mall. It’s been a long time since your group has been in such a high-risk area, but you have to pass through the city anyway on your way to the mountains; it would be stupid not to look for food. The only problem is, other people probably have the same idea… desperate people.
You follow close behind him, double-checking every doorway as you sneak into the department store, knife in hand.
Your group had been hit hard by influenza about half a year ago. It is hard to believe that it’s only you, Jungkook, his brother, and your dad left.
The woman who was like an aunt to you, Jenna, had been weak. She survived the sickness, but ended up collapsing yesterday when the entire group was climbing through a second-story window, one by one. Falling back out as she lost consciousness. She hit her head hard when she landed. She never woke up.
It left you all nervous. You had seen many things, but this seemed so random and unfair.
Most of you have blood on your hands, but you care about each other, just trying to survive, and you hold on to that… no matter how much it hurts.
You take Jungkook’s hand, and you look at each other. He squeezes it before letting go, panning his head left to right, scanning to see if anything is left.
You whip your head around, swearing you just heard something by the entrance to the store, but see nothing.
There are only four of you left, so you split into two groups. You and Jungkook are looking for food, while his brother and your dad are at the pharmacy searching for medical supplies. It’s risky, but the faster you are out of there, the better.
“Oh, water bottles!” Jungkook exclaims in a hushed voice, walking over to them. You follow, but see some cans at the end of the aisle. “I’ll check out what these are…” You mumble, walking off.
You stop at the end of the aisle, realizing that it’s some sort of juice. The bottles have ballooned out. Probably fermented. You drop your backpack to the floor. Picking one up, you sigh. There is no way they are safe to drink.
You hear footsteps, and before you can react, it’s too late. You try to whip yourself around, but someone grabs hold of you. The reality of the situation sinks in as you feel large skinny hands pressing your arms in against your body, something cold pushing against your neck… It’s a knife… your own has fallen to the floor. You must have dropped it when you got grabbed… shit.
The knife burns against your throat, blood dripping from a shallow cut where it had pushed through your skin.
“Lissen! If you want your girlfriend here to live, you give me your supplies!”. Jungkook's eyes linger on you for a moment before he slowly starts to let his backpack slide off his shoulder. A silent understanding passes between you two.
“I’m going to take this off my back, then I’ll hand it to you, and you let her go. Ok?” He says, slowly, making sure not to make any sudden movements.
His head goes quiet as his focus sharpens, blocking out the sound of his pounding heart. There is no room for mistakes here.
“If you kill her, our people won’t be happy…” Jungkook starts, walking slowly towards you. You recognize the look in his eyes… it almost scares you. You know it’s the man next to you he’s looking at, and you are glad you're not him.
“Oh, your people? That old man and the skinny guy, a bit older than you? That’s who you are threatening me with?”. It dawns on you that you have been followed.
Jungkook’s eyes dart to meet yours only for a second. But the stranger notices. “They should be dead by now, so why don’t you-”. The man never finishes his sentence.
The moment he’s within reach, Jungkook jolts forward, pushing his hand up between the blade of the knife and your neck, getting his palm cut as the stranger attempts to slit your throat.
Jongkook continues his momentum forward, pushing the man to the floor as they both go down. He wrestles the knife out of the stranger's hands instantly, turning it around on him, slicing his throat with his own knife. Just like he almost did to you. He stabs it into his heart for good measure. The man instantly goes limp; no need to make anyone suffer, no matter how tempting that feels right now. He almost slit your throat... Jungkook's eyes are wide.
It is all over in a silent instant. There's a moment of adrenaline-filled, continued silence that follows as Jongkook looks at his hands, dropping the blood-covered knife.
“Y/n, are you ok?” he turns to you, worry written all over his face. You nod frantically, holding your throat, pointing down the hall.
Jungkook gets up on his feet, and you start running in the direction of the pharmacy as you drag your backpacks back onto your backs mid-sprint, hearts pounding.
As you close in, you hear muffled yelling. You and Jungkook stop dead in your tracks, listening. There are clearly multiple unknown male voices, but among them, there’s your dad.
You sneak closer to the storefront, carefully peaking your head around the corner. Your dad makes eye contact, but pretends not to see you.
There's a man with a gun who is screaming at your dad. You’re frozen, not understanding a single word that’s being yelled as you realize… Multiple armed men are cornering your dad and Jungkook's brother.
Guled in place halfway behind the door, you just stand there- staring. But your slow-motion world is quickly and brutally sped up to high speed, leaving you behind.
Your dad screams at you to run. Abruptly, Jungkook's hand swipes up to the side of your face, covering it, getting his blood all over you, turning your head away just in time. A shot rings out. The sound of your dad's body hitting the floor feels like it’s coming from underwater.
You are being dragged away, your feet starting to move on their own. Another shot, another thud. You hear screaming. It’s you, barely audible eaven though the pressure feels like it will explode your lungs.
The taste of blood in your mouth is strong. Is it from running so hard? Are you shot? You can’t feel your body. Only burning from running. You sprint out of the mall, heading down a narrow alleyway.
You don’t think Jungkook knows where you are going as he drags you away, feet moving faster than you thought they could. Turning a corner, he sees the start of a forest. Right, the mountains…
He beelines it, not letting go of your hand as your bodies disappear between trees.
Finally, you whip your head around. No one seems to be following you. Where’s Jungkook’s brother? Your dad is dead.
Your knees hit the ground as you fall, but you instantly get dragged up again. You hear Jungkook's frantic voice, but don’t catch anything of what he’s saying. Ears ringing. You’re in shock. Just like that, you went from five to four, then two… in less than a week. Three years ago, you were 12…
The pace of your running finally slows down, turning into fast walking. Putting distance between you and the others is a priority. Jungkook starts to feel an aching sensation in his hand as he slowly regains feeling in his body, having also gon numb.
He holds it up to his chest, higher than his heart, pressing it into the opposite shoulder, trying to control the bleeding.
You eventually reach a river with running water and a big boulder next to it. The sun stays up late this time of the year, but you need to patch up and rest. There's a high density of trees here as well, perfect.
You both drop down on the riverside, sitting there, panting. Jungkook dips his hand in the water, shaking it lightly, wincing as the wound stings. He pats his hand dry and wraps it tightly with some of the last bandages he has left. It will leave a scar, but it should be ok.
He looks over at you, seeing how you are just sitting there, staring into the distance. “Y/n…” He says sofly, gently touching your shoulder. Half your face is covered in blood from his hand when he turned your head away, sparing you from witnessing-
“I think they killed them both…” You choke out, and Jungkook closes his eyes. "Executed," he thinks, but keeps that thought to himself. “...They did,” he says instead. You feel like you can scream and cry, but your eyes stay dry.
He pulls out a t-shirt from his backpack, dipping the corner into the river, bringing it to your face. He gently starts wiping the blood away, and you realize where the intense metal taste comes from.
You do what you do best: survive. Taking inventory of what you have, having lost a lot more than just your family, but all the things they had with them as well. Luckily, Jungkook has the tent he and his brother used. A compact tent meant for two people, and you have most of the food. You haven't shared a tent since you were young, having sleepovers of sorts. But sleeping alone now that there are just the two of you seems unsafe anyway, not to mention the hassle of unnecessarily bringing an extra tent.
You know the time ahead will be hard, but looking at his face, you know you will survive this.
.
.
.
Present day
“We should make the strawberries into jam? Then we can bring it with us more easily, and we can have something to put on those damn bread-like pancake things we make.” Jungkook suggests, and you agree.
“Yeah… they need something, that’s for sure!” You both chuckle. Life nowadays is so simple, yet hard. It all feels so mundane, until it doesn’t. It usually goes bad with little warning. But yesterday, that was different. That felt fun.
You stand up, cutting off your thoughts. Don’t think about it, you’ll just freak out when you look at Jungkook. Not thinking about how he felt in your hand is hard enough, not to mention his hands.
You look at them as he holds his cup of newly poured coffee. They feel slightly rough, you know they do. You focus on his knuckles and veins. His fingertips are a bit red from the warmth of the cup. You wonder how hands can be so sexy… You shouldn’t engage the thoughts; you have to stop.
“If we're going to make jam, we'll need a lot more berries,” you ponder. “Then we have something to do the rest of the day.” Jungkook shrugs, happy to do something physical to get his mind out of yesterday's events.
“We have everything we need, right?” You look at him, mentally going over the small inventory of ingredients you bring with you to distract yourself.
It’s mostly grains like flour, rice, some canned food, some spices… things that don’t go bad easily with time. Everything else, you have to make on the go.
“Hmm… Water to boil, I think we have enough sugar… and I got some lemon concentrate drops from the party store. I think it’s made for drinks, but it should still work to thicken and preserve the jam. Most of our jars are empty, right?”
You feel your heartbeat quicken just a little as he mentions the store, remembering his face when you first showed him the cards. “Jupp, I think we have four that are empty. And that lemon concentrate should work.”
“Let’s go then”. Jungkook gets right up and grabs a bucket, ready to get started. The tension makes sitting still uncomfortable. He hopes it goes away. Your bond is very strong after all. It probably just needs some time, and everything will go back to normal. But having what you shared yesterday slip into the past makes him sad.
Being a few years older than you, he had always felt like, in a sense, it was his job to protect your innocence. But you are both adults now, so it’s not like that matters anymore.
Still, the boundaries he has set feel like law. Was yesterday just a drunken mistake, or could it be more? Maybe you want him too? Yesterday, you did ask him to touch you… He needs to stop thinking in this way. You were drunk.
Yesterday, Jungkook felt so satisfied. He thought it would take longer before he would feel some sort of way again, but if anything, he somehow feels more horny than usual. He wants more of what he has finally gotten a taste of.
You follow Jungkook into the field. You only have one bucket; the other one is filled with berries from yesterday. So, you stand next to him. This is fine… everything is fine?
The afternoon sun hits his face, making his brown eyes slightly golden.
You find yourself staring at his lips, focusing on his piercing, and wondering how it would feel while kissing him.
You remember when he got it. Both of you have ear piercings, he more than you. You had picked up jewelry from an abandoned store in secret… Using needles to poke holes, to the adults' frustrations. Risking infection was really stupid these days. Percing his lip, though, that was definitely an intimate moment, in hindsight.
You always did it to each other, sneaking off so no one could intervene. You had put a piece of an apple on the inside of his lip to make sure you didn’t poke the inside of his mouth when you quickly pushed the needle through, replacing it with jewelry as fast as you could. By some miracle, it healed well, and he’s had it ever since.
A lump forms in your throat. Had you pushed him away yesterday? He was clearly reluctant at the start, but he was fully into it as you kept going, right? It seemed that way at least. You bite your lip as it flashes through your thoughts.
The way he was looking at you… You have always loved his voice, but hearing him moan while breathing heavily from your touch was just something else.
You remember aunt Jenna pulling you aside. Talking about how she knows you and Jungkook are close, but not wanting you to be alone together… You first thought it was because of the piercing shananegance, but she had asked something about whether he had touched you. You didn't understand what she meant. Thinking about it... that look he had in his eyes yesterday... You have definitely seen it before when you've been alone with him.
Now, you feel your face go beet red, realization hitting you like a truck. You feel so far behind. Did she really think you would get what she meant all those years ago… did he!?
Jungkook’s eyes meet yours, and it dawns on you that you are staring at his face. “Everything ok?” he smiles, cheeks just as red as yours. You recoil back, just a bit.
“Yes! Sorry”. You look down at the strawberry plants, making sure to turn your face away from him as it burns in embarrassment.
…Good… it would definitely feel good to kiss him.
“I think half of this bucket is enough together with the rest, given that we have four jars?” he ponders, and you nod a little too intently.
“Yes”.
Walking the short distance back to the tent, you are surprised at how much you just want to lie around and relax. Tomorrow will probably contain a lot of walking.
“Should we just get ready for bed once we are done with this?” you ask as you start to put water in the one pot that you own. “Why not? We’ll probably need the sleep for tomorrow,” Jongkook mumbles.
He feels so on and off today, distant. Hopefully, he’s not mad about what happened.
The jam is luckily easy and quick to make, and the sun has not eaven set yet as you fill the last jar halfway full. “Well, it is almost four jars with jam.” You state as Jungkook puts the lid on.
You take flour and mix it with water, yeast from a packet, salt, and oil. You let it cook at the bottom of the pot, the same one you used to make jam. It is the only one you have, after all. Turning it around to cook on the other side as well, you turn to Jungkook, happy that you've managed to get it to rise a bit.
Jungkook breaks the bread/ pancake thing in half and puts jam on it. It helps when it’s warm. It makes it taste slightly better. You take a bite, tilting your head.
“The jam is definitely an improvement… but you can definitely taste the lemon!” Jungkook laughs. You have to agree with him. It’s not terrible. You have made both way worse and boring foods while traveling before.
Thoughts of yesterday keep spinning in Jungkook's head as he gets ready for bed. The walls he has built to hide his feelings towards you are still up, but he feels like there are huge holes in them… And there is definitely something off about you two today. He’s sure you can feel it too.
He has to talk to you… or maybe…
Almost ready to sleep, on top of his sleeping bag, he halts when lying down. Jungkook looks at you as he props himself up on his elbows, wondering if he’s making yet another mistake.
You look up at him from your sleeping bag, all tucked in, furrowing your brows. “What?”
“Lissen,” he begins to speak, sharply inhaling through his nose. “I woke up so late today, I’m not tired yet at all… are you?” He tilts his head, waiting for you to answer.
“I guess not”, you say. It’s not like you have been awake for that many hours. But what is he on about? You can tell he’s thinking of something. And what’s with that face?
Jungkook tries, but backs down. “You still have that book?” he says, pressing his lips together. “Yeah? You want to reread it?”
“Mhm,” he nods. You hand it to him, and he feels his body getting hot as his hand comes in contact with yours. Jungkook opens it, staring at a page, not really reading. Trying to suppress his needs.
You keep looking at him for a while before closing your eyes. It’s not like the dim light will keep you awake anyway, if you can get sleepy, that is.
Finally, Jungkook gets some courage back. He closes the book, flipping over on his stomach. All the thoughts that keep going through his head are making his cock hard.
He’s done.
He keeps trying to make you comfortable. He’s just going to do what he wants and let you tell him if you don’t like it. That’s how he goes about everything else, after all. It’s not like you wouldn't just tell him no; he’ll just ask. And yesterday, you didn’t stop things. That was him, for your sake, but was it really? Or was he just scared?
Jungkook looks over at the backpack, the game of truth or dare still lying right next to it, yellow and red cards still in the plastic. He wants yesterday to continue. No, he needs it. He's burning up.
“I’m bored,” he states. You open your eyes and turn to face him.
“Book’s not good?”
“Nope”.
Silence fills the room. You turn over to find out what he’s looking at, and your heart jumps. Is he thinking about it?
“Why don’t we continue to play that game? Or did you bring something else?” he tries to play it off cool, as if his cock isn't acting.
You shake your head slowly. He wants to continue?
“We are out of the green ones-” you start.
“We can do the yellow ones.”
You can tell it’s not a question. You scoot yourself up into a sitting position inside your sleeping bag, eyeing him carefully.
“I thought you said the yellow ones would kill you,” you tease, trying to ease the sudden tension. But remembering his flustered state yesterday, your cheeks are turning slightly pink.
“Lest’s find out.” he deadpans as he throws his head back to get his hair out of his face, and you start thinking that it’s not him that’s about to die, it’s you.
“You can start with asking me this time, that’s only fair, right?” Jungkook smiles at you, but it’s far from innocent. What has gotten into him?
“And let’s just forget the alcohol, ok? We’ll just ask each other.” He looks at you intently, waiting, seeing if you’ll go along.
“ok”
Your voice comes out small, but it’s enough to lift the weight off his shoulders.
“Good girl”.
He grabs the cards, ripping the plastic open, and hands you one. You sit there, holding it, baffled.
“...Jungkook, are you… flirting with me?” You half laugh out of nervousness, but he just raises an eyebrow.
“Ask me.”
You gulp. This is a Jungkook you are not used to, at least not in this context. But you aren’t used to him in this context at all, you realize.
Yesterday, all of his focus had gone to restraining himself, worrying. Now, he wants to enjoy this.
“Truth or dare?”
“Dare,” he answers, a smile playing on his lips. This is going just like he wants so far.
You read it: “Take two articles of clothes off”.
He ignores the maybe obvious choice of his socks and pulls off his t-shirt instead, trying to lessen the heat. Exposing his abs and broad shoulders.
Then, he sits up on his knees in front of you, undoing his pants, wanting you to see the state he's in, pulling them down, pausing slightly to let out a sigh of relief as his cock stops being pressed down by his pants, standing up, hard in his boxers.
You have to watch your expression so you don’t look like an idiot by the way you openly stare at his body, trying to avoid his crotch. But to be fair, he’s acting crazy all of a sudden. The tension in the air is suffocating, and you are absolutely shocked.
“Jungkook!” you squeak, heart pounding, seeing him barely in clothes like this.
“What?” he says while looking down at you, t-shirt still in hand, pushing his tongue against the inside of his cheek. That same look on his face that usually appears when he wins an argument.
“Uh… n- nothing, I guess,” you stammer, deciding to look at the cards. Your body burns. You can't believe he actually looks like that.
You feel like you just had some sort of revelation, but your brain is malfunctioning.
Jungkook sits down and stretches out his legs, ending up with his feet on either side of you, acting way too bold. So damn cocky, he can barely handle himself. You forget how to breathe properly.
“Truth or dare?” he asks, enjoying observing how he’s affecting you.
“I-”
You feel dizzy.
“I think it will be truth for me…” You feel weirdly naked, regretting that you had taken off most of your clothes because you thought you’d be sleeping… Forgoing your pajamas because you felt too warm. But now, you have somehow ended up in a similar situation to yesterday, in a t-shirt and panties, eaven though it was Jungkook who had gotten a dare to take his clothes off. At least you’re in your sleeping bag.
“Have you ever had a wet dream about someone you shouldn’t have?” Jungkook scrunches his nose, looking displeased.
“You know what-” he starts before you can answer. “Let’s just do dares.”
“Just dares?” you question. “...I don’t see why not.” You go along with his ideas like you usually do. Although usually we are talking about hair dye, piercings, stuff like that. You wonder what he’s up to now. You really want to find out.
He looks down, reading the dare next to the truth he just discarded. “Lick cream off another player's fingers while moaning and staring into their eyes.” Jungkook reads the dare fast. You stare at each other.
This is definitely pushing things further than yesterday, starting with these things. Doing something like that to him seems weirdly intimate. The atmosphere in the tent has definitely shifted. Jungkook feels nervous, but sticks to his plan.
He looks to his side. He does not have cream, but there are some crushed strawberries left in the bucket that he brought into the tent for the night… having felt too lazy to go and wash it in the river straight away.
He dips his fingers into them, looking at you.
“I dare you,” he smirks, raising his eyebrows in that silly way he knows makes you annoyed. Inside, though, he’s questioning his sanity… or his entire identity at this point, to be honest. But it pays off.
You get on your knees and crawl over. Jungkook is not eaven registering the way he is looking at you as you get closer, eyelids heavy while leaning his head back slightly. You are so unbelievably sexy to him.
You grab his hand with both of yours, nervously laughing as you test, dipping your tongue onto his fingers.
You look up to meet his gaze. The eye contact feels so intense. He looks a bit like he has a fever, you note. Trying to make some noise as you work at getting his fingers clean. You can tell his breath is getting caught in his throat as he accidentally lets out a few wimpers.
Every lick feels so good, even though it’s just his fingers; your mouth is on him, and he loves that.
There is a spot on his index finger that would cause you to twist his hand uncomfortably to get it clean, so you decide to dip the digit into your mouth, sucking the juice from the strawberries off.
Jungkook jolts slightly, eyes becoming fully open again, bewildered as his breath gets more shaky, shifting his hips up ever so slightly. The look on his face makes the corners of your mouth pull up a bit, tightening your lips around his finger, humming around it.
The warmth from your mouth feels good, and he can’t help but wonder what it would feel like on his cock.
Is he losing his mind? On second thought, he’s pretty sure he did that a while ago.
You let his finger pop out of your mouth, and the silence that follows is deafening. He's stunned.
You bend forward to pick up the cards and accidentally give Jungkook a new view. He lets out a sound you can only describe as a short, choked moan. Your eyes dart back up to him, and you see where he is looking, down your t-shirt.
You feel yourself getting wet, and you press your thighs together. Seeing him like this is definitely something you could get used to… It’s addictive.
“Truth or dear?”
“Yeah…? As I said, dear?” he whispers, his mind all hazy. He holds his body back, despite telling himself he wasn’t going to do that. He is still unsure what he would do to you, so going through the cards like this will have to work.
“Kiss the neck of the person you find most attractive in the room for five minutes,” you read softly. He looks at you with inquiring eyes, “Is it ok?” not sure if he is asking you or himself. “If you think so…” you trail off as he sits all the way up.
He surprises you both as he quickly grabs your shoulders, leaning in, dragging you up on your knees. He asked, you did not say no. So why force himself to stop when he wants nothing more than this?
Despite his sudden movement, his lips gently meet your neck, and you close your eyes. He places butterfly kisses from your jawline down to your collarbone, where he meets your t-shirt, reluctantly stopping himself.
His lips feel soft and warm in contrast to his piercing, the metal hard and cold against the sensitive skin on your neck as he drags his lips against you. You’re getting goosebumps.
An insane hunger-like feeling for you is building in him, making him groan in frustration. His kisses get more intense as he starts making out with your neck, completely losing himself.
You grab his biceps to try to ground yourself in reality, and not float away from the feeling. But the feeling of his muscles under your fingers just makes it worse. You feel painfully empty as your pussy starts throbbing, but you have no capacity to process that as he’s sucking on your neck. You gasp out as he gently bites you, and your head falls back.
It takes everything in him not to pull you onto his body. Jungkook wants that so bad, feeling you close. Heat radiates off him.
No one is counting, but he suddenly pulls back, arms falling to the sides of his body.
You sink down again as he lets you go. Pulling your knees to your chest to sort of hold yourself. You open your eyes. The last thought that goes through your head is that you want to kiss him so bad, feeling all that against your lips as well, while you drown in the heat of his body.
Your eyes land on how rock hard he is in his boxers. You had tried not to think about it, that feels like the polite thing to do... but now it is literally right in front of your face for a few seconds.
He also sits back down and stretches his legs out again, so he sits down in that same position, his feet on both sides of you again.
You look closer at him. His heart is visibly beating through his chest, his breath and eyes heavy from lust. You suddenly feel very, very shy, bringing your feet together.
“… do you want to continue?”
Your voice comes out sounding timid.
“Honestly? I want to continue,” he confesses breathlessly.
“Come on, I dare you,” he says, obviously impatient.
“Ok, dare”.
He picks up another yellow card, “I dare you to bend over and let me spank you?” It comes out as a question. He’s slightly confused, but likes the thought.
There’s no need to ask twice. You honestly want to do whatever he asks right now, whether the request is from a card or not. Feeling like you’re learning eaven more about him through his actions than you did through his words. You need to know everything.
You crawl onto his lap and lie down on his thighs, positioning your butt in front of him. All sorts of feelings rush through Jungkook's body as he rests his hand on your butt, before carefully slapping you.
You let out a little moan, taken aback at how you can feel the vibrations inside you. That’s all he needs. He grabs one of your ass cheeks and starts kneading it shamelessly with his hand as he begins to slowly and rhythmically slap and knead the other, switching it up.
You feel yourself coming apart and becoming a moaning mess, every touch becoming hypnotic. Loving that he’s getting rougher with you, getting carried away, slapping you harder.
From how you are lying, he can see how wet you are and how it has completely soaked you. Can all that really be because of him?
He can’t help but let his fingers glide over and start massaging that part as well. Bucking his hips up into your stomach next to your belly button, desperate for friction, feeling how precum is coating his tip.
You gasp in shock and pleasure as he touches you. “Jungkook, please-” you cry out, grabbing onto his t-shirt that you find on the floor as he keeps going. His finger finds your clit through the fabric, rubbing it.
He abandons your ass that's covered in his handprints to grab your hair, cause that’s what he feels like doing. Jungkook closes his eyes, breaking out into a slight sweat. Everything about you is so soft.
He’s pretty sure you were just begging for him… Is he sure he didn’t mishear that? He can tell it’s almost too late to stop. Actually, there is no way he can stop now. He can’t control his breath anymore, let alone his urges.
“Ahh… I need you,” he sighs out, volume all over the place. He grabs your waist and pulls you up onto his lap, pressing your bodies together, wrapping his arms around you.
Your lips immediately find his in a heated kiss. It is clumsy at first, but you don’t eaven notice, too focused on the way he tastes, the way he feels, strong arms around you, soft lips with hard metal, his hard cock pressing against the inside of your thigh.
You grab a fistful of his thick hair, and Jungkook holds your chin, forcing your mouth open. He starts sucking on your tongue. You are so confused, but it feels so good as he pushes his tongue inside your mouth, and you return the favor, sucking on his tongue as he groans repeatedly against your mouth. Every sensation is like a shockwave.
He's slapping his hands against your ass again, causing you to rock on his lap. He reacts by grabbing onto your hip bones so hard it’s sure to leave bruises, but you don’t care.
He flips you over and starts to grind his hips down onto yours, not knowing exactly what he is doing, just letting his body lead. His head’s not working anyway, game of truth or dare long forgotten.
Hot waves of pleasure are driving him forward, keeping him grinding into you as you moan loudly into each other's mouths, bodies tensing, hands going everywhere.
Your underwear and his boxers are the only things stopping him from fucking you at this point, as he thrusts against your clothed pussy. His hands run up and down your body before letting them slide under your t-shirt. It bunches up under your arms as he starts to massage your boobs with both hands. Your body feels like it’s in heaven.
He breaks the kiss and lets his head fall into the crook of your neck. Jungkook still can’t control his breath, and he feels so, so dizzy, letting his mouth give sloppy kisses against your neck, fixating on your scar. No one is taking you from him.
He keeps rubbing his hard cock against that sensitive spot, and your hips buckle up to meet his, finding a rhythm. The tension in you is building, sharp pleasure washes through you as you clench around nothing, wanting him more, wrapping your thighs around him. He grabs the fabric of the sleeping bag under you, trying to steady himself.
This is too much. He collapses on top of you. Long, drawn-out, deep moans rasping through his throat. That tight feeling in his balls, hard, hard throbbing at the base of his cock as he desperately keeps thrusting against you, feeling blood pumping through his entire body.
You just watch as he pulls back slightly, reaching his hand down, pulling his boxers to the side. Your eyes go wide as he completely exposes himself to you, starting to slide his hand up and down his length fast as he reaches the edge, needing something- you, around his cock, now.
“Touch me,” he breathes between inelible sounds, pressing his cock down onto the soft skin over your panties, rubbing it against you. He grabs your hand, guiding it as he rides through his orgasm. Cum bursts out of him, spilling over your stomach as he tenses up so hard his body jerks over you.
You close your mouth as soon as you notice that it's hanging slightly open and look up at Jungkook’s face in awe. His eyes are closed, and he is shaking.
You gently guide him down next to you as he continues to let out shaky, heavy breaths.
“I’m so sorry,” he manages to say eventually, covering his mouth, mumbling through his fingers.
“I let myself get carried away”.
“Why on earth would you be sorry, Koo?” You say sincerely, using his nickname for the first time in a long while, trying to process what you just witnessed.
Jungkook does not have an answer. You lie there for a little bit, feeling how your body is still so sensitive, yearning for him after things abruptly stopped.
“Do you forgive me?”
He does not look at you.
“Jungkook, what the hell do you mean?” You sit up, pulling his hand from his face to see him fully. You're getting scared.
“I don’t know y/n! Friends don’t kiss like that!”.
Your heart drops.
“No… they don’t,” you say quietly, confused.
He finally meets your eyes, knowing he has to talk to you. Maybe he should have started with that? he feels like an idiot for ending up in this situation.
He feels like you’ve broken him, his body somehow still desperately horny, still hard. Your heart beats uncomfortably in your chest as you realize he has tears in his eyes.
“Lissen- This- all this. I want you, like this.” he gestures out into the air, looking desolate.
You just look at him.
“I never meant to mess things up, hell, I’ve been avoiding this for years!” he continues, voice getting louder as he goes.
“Jungkook, it’s ok-”
“I had convinced myself I could ignore it, but after yesterday, and what we just did-”
“Jongkook!” you yell, cutting him off.
He stares at you, and you recognize the look of loss in his eyes. After what he just did, what he felt… He knows he can never manage to be close to you again without this. After yesterday, maybe? But not now, and it’s killing him.
Your mind is scrambling.
“Look, after yesterday, I have started to realize I’ve been wanting you like this too. This damn game is the best thing I’ve ever found, if that’s why you decided this was ok!”. Your voice is rising now as well, desperate to convey your feelings.
You can’t stand the thought of him thinking, eaven for a second, that he’s destroyed your friendship… or maybe… he has?
“Jungkook, what am I to you?” You blink at him, trying to get him to the same realization you just had.
“I don’t know… I love-”
He stops, making eye contact again, but this time, it’s a lot softer.
“I just love you… I always have.”
You smile at him, leaning in, kissing him. A gentle, careful kiss. “I love you too,” you whisper against his lips.
You stare at each other for a few seconds before breaking out in laughter at the absurdity of the situation.
Jungkook pulls his boxers back on, and you look at your messy stomach. He grabs some wet wipes and starts to clean you as you look at him, lovingly. “You’re an idiot”.
“What?”
You chuckle as he keeps eying you, wondering if you offended him. “Does this mean you want to continue?”, the smirk coming back to his face. “Do you seriously want to continue now, after that?” You point at the wet wipes, and the smirk is fully back.
“I don’t know what is wrong with me, but yeah”.
“I love whatever’s wrong with you.”
This is starting to feel like normal again… better, actually. Jungkook is relieved. But weirdly enough, his body still absolutely isn’t.
“We could just drop the cards if you want?” you suggest, but he shakes his head. “I actually think it’s fun to do the dares,” And he feels like he needs the guidance, eaven though he's a fast learner…
You bite the inside of your cheek, looking at the few yellow cards that are left, but Jongkook picks up the red ones. He wants more, and he’s hoping these will give him just that.
He makes a hissing sound, struggling slightly to get them open, his hands not working properly. You smile at him, wondering if you should try, but you’d do no better right now.
Jungkook finally stops, taking a deep breath, and you both laugh again. Trying again, it finally opens.
“Whose turn is it?” you wonder out loud. None of you can remember. “I don’t know… Should I just start?” Jungkook smiles down at the cards, and you can't shake the comedic feeling left in your body.
“Are you in a hurry or something?”
He bites down on his lips and straightens his back, shaking his head. But then, he nods, laughing. “Apparently, I am.”, he lets the embarrassment wash over him, but instead of shutting down, he lets you in.
“Turn it around then!” you push him, and he looks at the first card. “Huh… for this round, choose a partner in the group”. He furrows his brows.
“Well, that’s easy enough…” You mumble.
“People did this in groups?!” Jungkook exclaims, and the laughter is back.
He throws the card away and looks at the one underneath it. “Challenge: Take your partner's top off with your teeth.” he whips his head up to look at you, and you know all seriousness has left the room.
Jungkook throws himself forward, crashing into you, and your back hits the sleeping bag. His hand is underneath your head to make sure you don’t hit it as you fall.
He nuzzles himself into you as you gasp, “Koo!”. He ignores you, dragging himself down your body, stopping at the bottom hem of your t-shirt.
“I-I thought that I should do that!? But-” you’re cut off.
He jokingly makes a loud biting sound as he bites down on the fabric of your t-shirt, jolting you as he does so, before he loses it. You feel the laughter erupting through your bodies as you squeal, feeling very ticklish.
You try to wrestle him off you, but he clings on. “Let me do it, let me do it!” he yells with his mouth full, and you rest your hand on his head. “Hoooo… ok,” you breathe, finally getting whatever the hell that was out of your system.
He starts dragging your t-shirt up, and you feel yourself tense a bit as he goes past your boobs. He leans in to them as he passes, seemingly trying to rub them onto his face, but you let it slide, lifting your arms to allow him to drag it completely off. He drops your t-shirt and looks down at you.
“Y/n… You’re beautiful…”
Jungkook goes to touch you, feeling drawn to the sight, but you stop him. “Hey, you said you want to do the dares, right?”. He curses at himself internally for a moment before he lets it go, sighing deeply as he feels into his body.
“Ok… but then it’s your turn. ”You give him a beaming smile, picking up a card and reading the dare.
“I dare you to kiss your chosen partners down there for 30 seconds, over clothes only”. Jungkook lets his eyes scan over you, and you feel completely naked eaven though you still have panties on.
“...Only over clothes?” his voice comes out dark as he pulls up and snaps the elastic of your underwear slightly against your skin, before placing his hands on both your knees. You suddenly feel very small as you lie in front of him, especially when he leans over you like that.
“Is that a problem?” you ask. He baffles you. He wants to rip the last of your clothes off right now, but he contains himself. “Noo.. I’ll play along”. He drags his words, making small circles on your knees with his thumbs.
“You be a good girl and open your knees for me?”
Everything is very serious all of a sudden. You force yourself to spread your legs like he told you to. Is this really happening? What is eaven happening? You want him to kiss you all over, but it feels intimidating.
Jungkook gets on all fours and lies down, head between your legs. He feels like toying with you… making you his.
“Ok, you count,” he commands, feeling his confidence returning, looking up at you from between your thighs. “Count?” you look back at him, heart pounding when seeing him between your legs. “Yes, 30 seconds… ready?”
He looks down at your soaked panties, tracing your lines with his eyes, wishing they were off. But, you're so wet he’ll get to taste you anyway. Out of all the things he’d imagined, he’d never thought of this.
You start counting, and Jungkook starts tracing your body again, but with his tongue this time. Bending over the area where you showed him your most sensitive, sucking on the fabric. You halt your counting for a second, a soft hum leaving your throat as you feel the warmth of his lips through the fabric. His saliva mixes with your fluids, making everything wet.
Jungkook looks up at you again.
“Start over.”
He smiles at you sweetly, but he’s stern. You feel like you’re lost. “Whah- what?”. You don’t want him to stop, but you're also confused about how you’re supposed to keep counting like this; it feels too good.
You start anyway, and Jungkook dips his head down. Pulling fabric and your clit into his mouth, applying pressure with his tongue, moving it around. Remembering how it felt when you had sucked on his fingers and he had imagined it was his cock, feeling how it twitches in his boxers as he moves his mouth against you.
This isn't exactly kissing, but he figures it’s ok.
You get close, but lose count again, interrupted by your moans. He stops, keeping the pressure with his tongue as you pant, the sensation burning in the best way possible.
Jungkook just stares at you as your breath comes out heavy, trying to gather your thoughts again… but you can't. He does not move. You need him to move. Shakely, you start counting again, waiting for him to continue, but he pulls away.
You gasp as his warmth leaves you, and air hits the wet spot, making it icy cold. “...Jungkook?” you half moan, dazed. He gives you his hand, and you take it. He pulls you up. Trying to ignore how his cock is aching, throbbing, his skin is hypersensitive.
“There, 30 seconds”.
He feels arousal surge through his body as he sees your reaction, the way you’re clearly yearning for more. He bites his lip, stopping a moan from leaving his mouth.
“My turn again,” He smiles.
Are you sure you have not had any alcohol? You feel like you are drunk, or maybe high? You can't stop focusing on just how almost naked he is.
“Y/n I dare you to get naked and let- me inspect your body”.
Your eyes widen as you freeze up. Although you’re almost naked already, and not much is left to the imagination after what he just did, you still feel strange showing all of yourself to him.
You have basically known each other your whole lives. Unspoken boundaries are definitely hard to break, despite wanting to.
Jungkook makes it easy for you, gently hooking his fingers under the elastic of your panties. You let him take them off you, slowly wiggling them down. You sit there, legs closed, wondering how on earth it can feel good to be looked at by someone. But it does. Eaven his heavy breathing sounds good.
Jungkook pulls the hair away from your neck, sitting close to you, letting his fingers grace your scar… That’s the closest he’s ever come to losing you. Never again, he won't allow it.
He can see how nervous you are. It makes him weirdly proud that you are letting him do this… To hear you say that you love him too.
Fingers slide down, his feather-like touch feeling electric on your skin. He cups your boobs with his hands, gently lifting them up and down a bit, and you can’t help but smile at the way he is divoting all his attention to your body.
He continues to your waist, and you notice he seems to be taking note of every beauty mark he comes across on his way. You let him open your legs back up, holding your breath as he does so.
Jungkook closes his eyes and tilts his head back for a second before letting them fall on you again as he lets out a barely audible groan.
“That’s pretty,” he states breathlessly. You furrow your brows. Pretty is not exactly how you would describe that part of your body, but you believe him.
His movements are still slow and gentle, but slightly jerky. He is forcing himself to go slow, and it’s becoming harder by the second. The need to press his body against yours again becomes overwhelming.
“Haaa…” he sighs out, placing his hands back on his own thighs for a second. Reaching back out, he gently spreads your lips, studying your anatomy. Not understanding how his gentle touches can feel so intense.
“Are you… ok?” you ask, seeing the strain on his face. “Yeah… I just- … I’m so fucking hard,” he lets out a small chuckle as he laughs at himself, chewing lightly on his lip. You feel the muscles in your vagina clenching, wanting to touch him as well.
“Let’s continue then?” You fumble with the cards when picking them up, heat radiating off your body as you feel his fingers on you.
“Do that again?”
“What?”
He stares at your hole, amazed at how it just contracted slightly. He wonders if-
“Let's continue the game… koo?” you gulp, the man in front of you is looking like he’s about to devour you.
“Ok, one more… we’ll do one more…” He whispers, more to himself than you.
He lifts his face, and your breath gets caught in your throat as your eyes meet his lustful gaze. “Um… let’s see…” You squint at the card, finding it hard to string the written sentence together.
“Challenge: I dare you to insert as many fingers into your chosen partner as possible.”
… “Inset?”
You feel your heart beat, the thought of having his fingers inside you is somehow very appealing.
“...Will you let me, please?” Jungkook’s voice comes out emotionless, but you can tell he’s anything but that.
“Yeah… try”. You tense up a bit in anticipation, wondering how it’ll feel.
He slowly puts pressure against you with his index finger, and you gasp as it pushes inside you. It doesn't hurt, but it feels very foreign in a good way, your muscles trying to adjust.
Jungkook keeps a close eye on your face as he carefully inserts another finger, loving how warm, wet, and tight you feel around his fingers.
You start to relax, and he goes to insert yet another, pulling out a bit to be able to push the third finger in. You whimper slightly in pleasure, feeling how his fingers slide back and forward. Jungkook notices immediately, keeping the slow motion going.
“Does that feel good?”
You try to answer, but all that comes out is a moan. You nod your head instead.
He feels so far away.
You grab his shoulder and try to pull him over you.
He comes up, hovering over you, hand still reaching down between your legs, slowly pumping his fingers in and out of you. His hair falls forward, tickling your nose.
He inserts yet another finger, and you tense, a slight stinging sensation lingering for a short moment, but it feels so good you don’t eaven care.
“Are you ok?”
He’s scared he just hurt you, but you don’t answer. The pleasure from his fingers stretching you out, rubbing against your walls, it’s making you grab on to his shoulders, and he understands it’s not pain you're feeling.
Jungkook’s mind starts to go blank. He kisses you, being way rougher than he intended. Groaning against your mouth, letting his fingers slide out of you as they find their way around your waist.
He falls down on you. You moan against his lips, loving the weight of him on top of you, pulling at his hair.
Jungkook's so frustrated at the feeling of the fabric of his boxers as he grinds his cock against you, his body feeling neglected.
“Y/n-” he tries, stopping to breathe.
You look up at him, desperation in both your eyes as you run your hands up and down his back.
Gently, you let one arm glide around as you gently start to massage his cock through his boxers. Thinking it’s only fair you get to touch him too. Jungkook moans, biting his teeth together… trying to speak again.
“Y/n- I want my cock inside you… I want to be in you-”
You grab his face, pressing your lips onto his again, deepening the kiss as you start to pull his boxers off.
This feels so right.
You lose track of them when you have gotten them down to his thighs somewhere.
He bites on your bottom lip, pulling it, letting your tongues dance together. You wrap your legs around him as you feel his cock rubbing and pushing against your entrance, bucking your hips to meet his. You feel so empty, reaching down to align him against you. You need him.
“Jungkook! mmm… ahhh- haa…” You cry out as you feel yourself stretch around him as he’s slowly filling you completely. Placing light kisses against your earlobe, he stops, taking in how you feel, choking on his breath.
He lifts himself up on his elbows, breathing slow and heavy as he looks into your eyes. You hold on to his shoulders, adjusting. Maintaining eye contact, Jungkook tries to move.
His hips thrust into you involuntarily as the pleasure hits him. You both gasp, your fingernails digging into his shoulders. His eyes widen as he looks at you, painfully stopping himself from doing it again, and again.
“That felt good,” You choke out, slight pain mixing with the pleasure, moving your hips gently against him as he stays still. His breath gets shaky, starting to gently thrust in and out of you. Feeling how you wrap around him… remembering something.
He sits back as he reaches his hand down to touch your clit, groaning as you immediately tighten around him. The sensation of his hand playing with you while his cock is inside is quickly making you lose control over your body, shaking and twisting under him. Moaning his name.
Jungkook starts getting eaven more vocal as well while he picks up his pace, and you see stars as this all becomes so good, getting hit by your orgasm as you look up at him, seeing his face filled with pleasure like that.
Your walls flutter around him as you lose the ability to breathe, back arching, taking him deeper, feeling how liquids gush out of you, too lost to care. Cuming with his cock inside you has to be the best, most intense feeling you have ever felt.
Jungkook looks surprised as you try to sit up, with him still inside. But he lets you, meeting your lips in a heated kiss. You start pushing on his shoulder, trying to make him lie down.
He grants your wish, pulling you on top of him, holding on to your thighs as you immediately start to rock back and forward, riding him.
Your only wish in the world right now is to make him feel good, watching his face contort as you move, sweat visible on his temples. You don’t know what you're doing, but luckily, your hips move on their own as all you see, all you feel, is him.
“I’m ganna-ahh-” he’s cut off by his own moans, grabbing onto your hips, thrusting up into you roughly. You feel his cock pulsing inside you, his second orgasm of the day hitting way harder.
His entire lower stomach contracts as he empties himself inside you, the feeling of his hot cum making you squeeze around him, causing him to cry out. He holds you still, feeling overstimulated.
You let yourself relax as you lean down over him, letting him pull you into his arms. Jungkook lets out a deep sigh, all the tension in his body finally gone. You snuggle into his neck, feeling how his heart beats underneath his skin.
It happened so quickly, so intensely, that as you lay on him, you are just trying to process it all now that your head’s a bit clearer. The warmth from him and his arms around you make you feel so safe, tears welling in the corners of your eyes.
Jungkook rolls you over on your side, and he slips out of you, cum dripping down your thighs. He’s on it immediately, and you’re really happy you found those wet wipes.
As he’s cleaning up, you realize that this changes nothing, but everything at the same time.
Curling up together, he smiles, “You know… I’ve been missing this,”. He breathes in the scent of your hair as he rubs your back gently, your face hidden against his chest. “Mmm,” you hum, a tear finally running down your cheek.
Synopsis: The stage was perfect, the performance was perfect, the moment unchanging. Jungkook begins to notice something is wrong. Same words, movements, same night repeating in ways nobody else seems to see.
But she sees it, she remembers. And as reality begins to slip out of sync, both of them are pulled into a loop that they can’t seem to understand. The comeback wasn’t supposed to last forever, because some things aren’t supposed to be repeated. And some memories refuse to stay hidden.
Pairing: idol Jungkook x fem reader (named Rua)
Genre: Angst, Mistery, Smut
Warnings: time loop/repetition, psychological themes, reality distortion, emotional distress, angst, dissociation, paranoia, sex scenes, more to be added
Word count: 2000
MINORS DON'T INTERRACT!!!
MASTERLIST
Some days, everything feels rehearsed, not just the choreography or the lines they’re supposed to say. Or the smiles they’re supposed to give exactly when the camera zooms in.
But EVERYTHING. Each laughter, each pause, the way conversations start in a way they’ve been edited before they even happened.
Either way, Jungkook has learned not to delve on it too much. It’s easier that way. What’s the point of overthinking when this comeback might be the most important event in his life.
“Five minutes!” a staff member’s voice cuts through the rooms, sharp and practiced.
Nobody reacts right away, they are used to it, after all.
Namjoon nods, he’s already focused. Hoseok is stretching, pushing away tension that never really leaves. Jimin is checking his reflection for the fifth time. Taehyung hums something under his breath, low and distant. Yoongi just sits quietly, watching the others in silence.
Jungkook listens. Watches them for a moment longer than he usually does. There is nothing wrong, nothing out of place. And still…
He sits up, dragging a hand carefully through his hair. He wishes it was longer.
“You tired?” Jimin asks, glancing at him through the mirror.
“Just…didn’t get much sleep” Jungkook meets his eyes briefly, then looks down.
Yes, it’s the right answer. It’s always the right answer.
Jimin just nods like he expected that.
The smell of hairspray clings to the back of Jungkook’s throat as he adjusts his in-ear, his fingers moving automatically. This part feels like a rhythm. Check, adjust, breathe. Check, adjust, breathe.
He feels like he’s done this so many times, that it feels less like preparation and more like resetting. Like stepping into a version of himself that only exists as soon as the lights go on.
Taehyung brushes his shoulder “Let’s make this one perfect”. His voice sounds so familiar and warm, and Jungkook nods without thinking.
He gets this fleeting feeling like he did this before. Not today, not yesterday, just before. This makes him want to ask Taehyung, but he’s already turned away and heading toward the stage.
“It’s nothing, just nerves” he whispers to himself and his racing heart.
The music starts and Jungkook feels the shift immediately. Whatever he was thinking disappears the second the lights hit him. Now there’s no room for doubt, not here on stage. Only movement.
And his body knows exactly what to do and how to do it. Each step is precise, emotions are controlled and he’s the perfect balance between effortless and intentional. The Golden Maknae for a reason.
Maybe he feels strange because he doesn’t have to think. Tonight he really doesn’t think at all.
Halfway through the performance, something pulls at his attention and it makes him lose a step. Shit.
He’s not sure what it is, it seems like someone is pushing a flashlight in his face. It’s coming from the fans and comes and goes, like a wave. Then it becomes still and he can finish the performance in peace.
“What happened there? You zoned out for a second” Jimin asks, coming right beside him in the changing room.
“I did?”
“Yeah, I thought you’ll miss your mark”
“I didn’t though. Lost a step, but what can you do” Jungkook shrugs.
“You never lose your mark”
There is something in the way Jimin just said that. It’s not a praise, not even reassurance. Just a fact that makes Jungkook force a small laugh.
Jungkook starts feeling overstimulated from all the noise, the voices, the overlapping conversations and the energy from the stage that hasn’t faded yet.
He feels restless and cornered like a mouse. He closes his eyes, trying to tell himself that everything is normal. He’s just waiting, but has no idea what he’s waiting for.
“Don’t rush your chorus for Like animals next time!”
The words cut through the noise in a sharp way, yet not loud. It makes Jungkook look up, because he wasn’t sure who were they for.
Yoongi sits in his spot, unmoved since they entered the changing room, one leg over the other, phone in his hand. His eyes locked on Jungkook, who takes a while to figure out the words were for him.
“I didn’t” he responds.
“You almost did”
“Hyung, what are you talking about? I always hit it on time”
“Yeah, you do” Yoongi finally replies and the conversation ends there, like it never started.
Minutes later, Jungkook still sits in his chair, facing the mirror, alone. His makeup is long gone and the hours of work and preparations start to become noticeable on his face. Small purple bags under his eyes, skin a little irritated, lips chapped.
He thinks he should drink some water to hydrate, feeling a headache coming over.
Something tugs at his memory in a persistent way. Like a word on the tip of his tongue. He closes his eyes and tries to catch it.
There was something, what was it? Right before the stage. Before Taehyung spoke. Before…
❀
“Five minutes!” a staff announces in the changing room.
Jungkook’s eyes snap open. His brain stops for a moment. It’s the same voice, the same words. The room is filled with people. He was the only one here, 3 seconds ago.
He lifts his eyes toward the mirror. His makeup in back in place. What is this? He looks around and sees Jimin checking himself in the mirror. Taehyung is humming something and Yoongi’s eyes are already on Jungkook when he reaches him.
Did he fall asleep? Did he dream the concert? He stands slowly and steps into the hallway. Everything feels exactly the same.
“You tired?” Jimin’s voice comes from behind.
“Just…didn’t get much sleep”
He tells himself it’s nothing, that he’s just tired, that it’s the nerves. He tells himself a lot of things, but when he reaches to adjust his in-ear, someone brushes past him in the exact same angle.
“Let’s make this one perfect”
Jungkook’s hand stils, enough for something hot to settle in his chest.
“Yeah…” he replies to Taehyung, voice small and unsure.
The music starts again and his legs are taking him exactly where he’s supposed to be. Calculated, controlled. But again, he doesn’t think.
Everything feels the same, yet new. He feels like he’s done this before, a million times, but yet it’s the first time. Then that same damn light that makes him mess the same step.
He looks toward the source this time, but can’t see with all the lights on them. He can barely see the fans. It must come from a fan, right?
Then right before his Like animals part, he remembers what Yoongi said. Well, he didn’t actually say it, right? It was in his dream. Jungkook rushes the chorus. He messed up.
First the step, now this.
Back into the changing room, he sits in front of the mirror, trying to take his makeup off with slow movements. His eyes look lost and he knows it.
“What happened there? You zoned out for a second” Jimin sits next to him.
Jungkook turn his face to look at him “Yeah… lights too bright”.
“Yeah, I thought you’ll miss your mark”.
“Mhm” it’s all Jungkook can say.
“Told you to not rush the chorus”
Nah, this is not happening. Jungkook gets up and walks toward Yoongi.
“What did you say?” he asks the older one.
“The chorus for Like animals, you rushed it” Yoongi adds, unbothered. His eyes on his phone in his hands, one leg over the other.
Next thing he knows, he’s rushing outside, looking for a washroom to splash cold water over his face that feels like it's burning right now.
As soon as he’s inside the washroom, he’s going for the sink, his heart beating fast, cold water hitting his face. This feels better. He lifts his face to look in the mirror and he stays like that for a moment.
The same persistent memory sneaks into his foggy mind and this makes him chuckle. This comeback did a number on him. Surely it’s the sleepless nights, skipped meals and the stress.
Then he closes his eyes again, hands leaning on the sink, knuckles white.
❀
“Five minutes!” a staff announces.
His eyes open in shock. This is not normal, something is not right. His hands rush on the table in front of him, looking for his phone. He checks the date and the time. March 21st, the day of the comeback, the concert.
Did he dream again? Was it a dream in a dream? What the fuck is this, Inception? His heart feels like pushing out of his chest and he needs to do something to calm down.
If it was a dream, he can’t freak out now and disappoint everyone that worked so hard for tonight to happen.
“You tired?” Jimin asks a little worried.
“Just…nerves”
“It’s going to be fine, we rehearsed a lot”
Jungkook grabs a bottle of water, gulps half of it and stands to walk to the stage with the other members.
“Don’t rush the chorus again!”
Jungkook just glances at Yoongi, this time choosing to not say anything. He won’t mess up this time.
Sweat already started to form on his forehead, his feet feeling heavy, dragging him forward. He forgot where he has to go, but his legs know. He feels so detached from everything.
He looks down and it feels like his body doesn’t belong to him.
“Let’s make this one perfect!”. Right, Taehyung.
Music starts, bodies move along the stage practiced. Everyone hits every note, every step, yet something doesn’t feel right. Nothing feels right, in fact.
The same light. Right, the light. But this time he decides he wants to see who’s behind it. His mind is not working at all right now, he feels like he’s floating into thin hot air. He keeps his eyes on the light.
He’s not going to miss this time. It’s the only thing that exists for him right now. That light. He just needs to know, needs to see.
Then there it was. Light went off and he could see her face. She was not cheering, not singing. She was not jumping, not moving. She just stood there, looking at him, slowly leaning her head to the side, almost like telling him “Took you long enough”.
Everything went quiet for him, his body moving on it’s own. He couldn’t feel it, but he saw his arms moving around, his view changing when he spined. But every time he would come back, his eyes locked on her.
Why does it feel like she’s the only person there who's actually seeing him? He feels like a ghost to everyone else but her.
After they finished this song, she was gone. He couldn’t find her anywhere. And he could feel his body again, he could breathe again. Maybe he’s going to be ok.
“What happened there? You zoned out for a whole song” Jimin grabs his wrist.
“The light hurt my eyes”
“You ok?”
“Yeah, I think so” he’s not sure, though.
They reach the changing room, takes his makeup off, gulps some water, even eats a protein bar.
“Great work, guys! We did it again” Namjoon says with tears in his eyes, patting Jin’s shoulder.
Heading out, he makes a promise to himself to take it easy in the coming days. This could really mess with his health if he’s not careful.
Sitting on the backseat of his car, the driver turns the engine on and starts driving to Jungkook’s house. A wave of relief washes over him, since he’s away from the concert venue now.
He was this close to lose it, he thought for just a second that he was living in a loop or something. But the car ride is new, so all good.
He lets his head lean back on to the seat and feels his eyelids getting heavier and heavier. Yeah, it’s the exhaustion. Maybe he can take a nap before they get home.
it’s called Abundance of luck and sprinkle of fate by @borathae
Help me find a Fic
So it’s Sub!Jungkook who goes to a sex club/brothel and meets Y/N who only wears a mask and she calls him “Lucky”. They are both really fucked up and sad. Jungkook also has really rough sex with two men in a bathroom and he hurts himself. It’s very smutty but it’s also sad. Any help is appreciated
"When two souls, with different reasons for why life has broken them, find together, it needs a whole lot of a luck and a little bit of fate
a/n: thank you sm for liking and commenting even reblogging its SO SWEEETTTT THANK YOU! first jk x oc interaction of the story finallyy
chapters ; prologue | one | two | drabble1 | three | four | ...
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📅 July 22, 2015 — A year ago...
AERA POV
"—Sarang ha neun Aera-shiiiii," my sisters chorused as they clapped to the beat of their out-of-tune serenade.
"Saeng il chuk ha ham ni da!" They cheered, the flats of their palms slapping against the table while they waited for me to extinguish the burning sticks of wax stuffed into the swamp-green-coloured cake before me. I was informed earlier that Ha-Joon led the baking ensemble this morning, so I'm pretty sure it's ninety percent icing. The way the candles were at a thirty-degree angle, almost completely submerged in the desert, only furthers my suspicions.
With a cheesy grin, my eyes flutter closed as I put an end to the candles' lives. Little clouds of smoke whisp towards the ceiling when the flames die out, and I lean back a little to avoid inhaling the fume. "What'd you wish for?" Asami teased, swatting at Joonie's hand when the youngest tried to scrape her finger along the cake's side in hopes of retrieving some icing.
"I can't tell you, or it won't come true." I clichéd, pulling the candles out of the mountain of icing before they sunk like an injured battleship. Dumping the burnt sticks into the garbage can behind us, I turn to our leader as she scrolls through the comments of our current V-Live.
"Can you pass the knife, please, Unnie?" My request snaps her out of her daze, and she leans back from her phone like she didn't even realize she was so close to it. Then, grabbing the knife on the table's edge, she placed the handle in my direction and slid it across to me.
"We're at a thousand viewers!" Hanna screeched, her hand smacking at her knee in glee, and I joined in with the rest of the girls as we giggled at her excitement.
My jaw dropped in disgust and amusement as my assumptions about this cake's ingredients were correct. The knife dragged into the mush, slicing down an alp of icing before hitting a thin layer of cake far later than it should've. My eyes snapped straight to Joon as she bit her lip, her cheeks pink and puffed, no doubt trying to harbour a loud cackle at the look on my face.
My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I let out a breathy chuckle, continuing, or more so attempting, to cut the desert into presentable slices. Slapping each piece onto a paper plate, the girls pull a serving towards themselves as I go, waiting for me to dish up my own before they indulge. I lift the board that the remaining cake is melting on as we speak and put it out of the camera's view before sitting back in my chair with a huff.
Joonie's fork dug into her portion the moment I sat back in my seat, scooping a mouthful of pure icing and consuming it like somebody was trying to take it away from her. I snicker before doing the same, and a slight hum of approval escapes my lips when the fork hits my tongue, the icing surprisingly better and much tastier than I thought. I blame the shitty diet we're on. Cat food would taste good at this point.
Lifting my head, I browse the comments flooding through on our live, and my eyes widen at all the birthday wishes that dominated the comment section. "Thank you guys for the happy birthdays; you're so sweet." I gush, swirling my fork around my plate to try and find a chunk of actual cake and hopefully stop the tears I feel burning at my lower lash line.
I could feel the gaze of Nali on me, and I was failing to find a piece of solid food on my plate of pure topping, which was only making me more frustrated and almost losing the battle with the water pooling in my waterline.
"We couldn't afford two cakes." Nali blurted, and the sound of forks scraping against paper plates pulled to a halt, four heads turning to stare at the blonde.
A few moments of silence passed, and I didn't fight it anymore, my grip on my plate loosening, and I rested it on the table before bursting into a fit of laughter. I seem to have broken the dam because the rest of the girls were heaving over, a chorus of laughs and howls bouncing off the walls of our shitty little cramped office that we cleared out for the v-live.
"It was our first anniversary a few days ago, and if we made a cake for that, we would've blown our allowance then and not had enough for Aera's birthday. So it's sort of a conjoined celebration." Hanna explained to the viewers, wiping at the corners of her eyes to rid the stray tears gathering there from laughing.
Hanna, Asami, and Joon continued breezing through the comments pouring in from the fans on our live, spotting a few familiar usernames and greeting them like they were our own members. Our sweet yet disturbing maknae had finished her cake, her gaze dropping to the left when she saw Asami's unfinished plate pushed to the side, indicating she didn't want anymore.
I felt my eyebrows crinkle slightly, watching my roommate, one spoonful of icing away from a stomach ache and never-ending whining when we try to sleep later tonight, grab Asami's plate, and devour the remnants. You would think we don't feed this girl.
Brushing the hair that had fallen in front of my eye, my gaze fell to the blonde on my right to see her attention was already on me. I give her a small, thankful smile, grateful for how she had drawn the attention away from me for a moment to compose myself. Nali nodded in understanding, her hand finding mine under the table and delivering a soft squeeze that sent a wave of comfort through my body.
It had been an hour or so since we started the live stream, and we still had choreo to work on later tonight, so we responded to as many questions and messages as possible before wrapping up the celebration. Our leader, Hanna, took a screenshot of the viewer count, still giddy at the fact that we hit 1,100, which beat our personal record by far. We thanked our Allures profusely, big gummy grins covering our faces as we sent waves and kisses toward Hanna's phone as she ended the stream.
The sound of my phone vibrating on the table's edge caught my attention as we tidied up the area. Asami took the remaining cake to the kitchen and informed us she'd wrap it and put it in the refrigerator. Ha-Joon finished stacking the used paper plates and all but sprinted out the office door, muttering a quick "I'll help!" that earned a chorus of scoffs and eye-rolls from her unnies.
"That girl will return with a permanent green upper lip," Hanna grumbled, halfway through a thank-you post on our Instagram account with the statistics from today's live.
She pulled me over to get approval for the photos of me she was using for my birthday post, and I set my phone back down before getting a chance to check my notifications. She was scrolling through today's pictures, Nali's phone becoming our camera as we were streaming from Hanna's. I chuckled at how Hanna literally took a hundred photos, my face invading Nali's camera roll; you'd think it was my phone.
Settling on a few, I suggested she use the candid of Joonie wiping the green icing on my nose as the first slide. She nodded ecstatically, murmuring a quaint "yes! i thought so too" before returning to social media manager mode.
Hanna sent the chosen pictures to herself, handing Nali's phone back with a kissy noise causing the visual to retaliate with a playful scowl that paparazzi would pay thousands to capture. They both started to head towards the door, Nali with the full bin liner and Hanna with her phone clad in their hands, before the eldest turned back towards me. "Practice in 15," she announced, not looking up from her phone but her words flying in my direction.
"Okay, unnie." I smiled, and she glanced up from her device, a smirk gracing her lips as she waited for me to face the other direction before delivering a hearty slap to my ass. Winded, I spin around to return the favour but only catch sight of the raven-haired girl sprinting down the hall to catch up with Nali.
"Freak," I mutter, my laugh fizzing out in the room that now only contains me. My abandoned phone remains face-down on the table, and I trudge over, tapping the screen to bring it back to life. Staring at the notification perched at the top of my cracked phone screen, it glares back at me before my phone fades out due to inactivity. I continue bringing the phone back to life, each time staring at the same notification for thirty seconds before the screen goes black again.
15:34 JUNGKOOK FROM BANGTAN SONYEONDAN
Happy birthday Aera 🎂
I click on the notification, and my screen reacts to my demand, transitioning to the messages app. As I think of a response, my nail begins to tap against the side of my phone case in angst, and I almost put my phone away altogether.
It's just a happy birthday message, not a fucking proposal. My inner thoughts are demonic, taunting me as I discover five characters is apparently my limit before I delete everything and start over.
15:38 ME
thank you jungkook
Poetic. You truly have a way with words, Aera. My thumb scrambled to the side of my case, resting against the lock button, so close to ending my misery, before I saw the word 'delivered' change to 'seen' at the bottom of my message. He's fast to reply, almost as if staring at the text waiting for a response.
15:38 JUNGKOOK FROM BANGTAN SONYEONDAN
How are you?
Rolling my eyes at the basic pleasantries, I consider leaving him on read and heading towards the practice room with the rest of my members. Then, against my better judgment, I concede.
15:39 ME
i'm okay, you?
15:39 JUNGKOOK FROM BANGTAN SONYEONDAN
Just okay? It's your birthday, you should be happy! 🥳
15:39 ME
i am happy. today has been great 🥳
15:40 JUNGKOOK FROM BANGTAN SONYEONDAN
You know, mirroring the actions of someone else can often be misinterpreted as a show of affection
15:41 ME
aaaaand you fucking ruined it. i have to go practice
15:41 JUNGKOOK FROM BANGTAN SONYEONDAN
Wait Aera
Can we
Video call later tonight
My heart skips a beat, or six, as I stare at his text. He's so fucking blunt. So forward. It drives me mad. So mad that I find myself sending back a thumbs-up emoji before shoving my phone into my pocket and leaving the office that, I swear, has increased by five degrees in the last few minutes.
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The squeak of my reusable water bottle wrung in my ears as I squeezed the life out of the canister, the chilled liquid it holds trying its hardest to fight the internal burning temperature of my body. I run my hand through my damp hair in an attempt to incorporate air into the strands and allow my scalp a chance to breathe.
We wrapped up practice a few minutes ago; the rest of the girls had scrambled out of the burning suite when we unanimously agreed that we physically couldn't continue today. Hanna led the eager troops to the kitchen to prepare our dinner, and I secured the lid of my bottle shut before tailing the train down our company's hall. Stopping at my dorm once they had just entered the kitchen's quarter, I threw out a quick "i'll be there in a sec, just need to use the bathroom" before ducking into my room.
Snatching my hoodie that I threw on my bed carelessly earlier today, I flip it inside out at lightning speed, shoving my head and arms through the holes in what I'm sure is a personal best. Leaning over my bed with a huff, I grunt in triumph when I feel my phone in my grasp after a few failed attempts to grab it off my bedside table. Shoving it into the pocket of my sweatshirt, I make my way out of the dorm, looking in the direction of the kitchen before turning the opposite way and heading for the exit of our building.
A sigh of ecstasy leaves my lips as the chilled night air envelopes my frame once I push through the bulky door of our building and make my way toward the stony path that lines the structure. My butt hits the pavement with a thud, and I fish my phone out of my pocket; the device's light illuminating a ray of yellow in the darkness of the night as it comes to life.
Clicking on the familiar contact in my list, I hit the video icon and listen to the low hum of the outgoing tone as it attempts to connect me to the desired recipient. No more than five seconds pass before the loading symbol appears on the screen, the background black as the device works to load the picture of the awaiting parties.
I'm staring at the box in the bottom right corner that mirrors my appearance, halfway through pulling the hood of my jacket over my head to shield my matted hair before his bunny smile stately renders onto my phone screen.
My action is pulled to a halt, my hand releasing my shirt's hood as I take in the picture being shamelessly displayed by my busted phone. Jungkook leans against his headboard, clad in a black shirt that accentuates the shape of his arms. Speaking of arms, the one of his that isn't currently busy holding his device up runs through his woolly, fluffed hair before resting behind his head against the board.
"Saeng il chuk—" Jungkook started once my camera connected and displayed my face on the screen. A cringed scowl overtook me as I hushed him, shaking my head rapidly and begging him to stop the birthday anthem.
His cheeky giggle blew through my speaker when I cut off his song, eyebrows raised in amusement, "How's the big 19? Feel any different?"
"Days don't even feel like days right now, so no, I don't feel that different." My response is honest, eyes trailing down to the heel of my sneaker, currently scraping against the gravel beneath me that I'm sure is staining my sweatpants.
He nods in understanding, knowing exactly how I feel at the moment, having been in a similar situation in his rookie days. "Do you want me to call you Noona now?" He quips with a smirk, reminding me that I am, in fact, two months older than him.
My eyes widen as his question catches me off guard, and I do not bother to stop my eyes from rolling to the back of my head while he chuckles hoarsely at my reaction. "I will fucking kill you."
My response only seems to amuse him more, his eyes wide in faux fear, and I feel a smile breaking through onto my face, forcing me to look away from my phone for a moment. The smell of spices invades my nostrils, bringing me back to consciousness, and I glance up at the time displayed on my device.
"I have to go eat dinner," I say, watching his plump bottom lip purse into a pout.
My team probably thinks I am having abhorrent bowel movements right now. However, Jungkook's question pulls me out of my thoughts, his big bug eyes curious as he quizzes, "Why are you eating dinner at 11 pm?"
"The kitchen doesn't close until 12 on weekends, so we usually train later on Saturdays and Sundays." I shrug, shuffling a little until my back is flush against the side of the building. His eyebrows furrow, seemingly taken aback by my answer, and I'm unsure why.
"The kitchen closes at certain times?" His question is low and soft, and I can't decipher the look on his face as he says those words. This had become my reality that I adapted to so quickly since becoming a trainee. I often forget to filter out certain things before sharing with people.
"Do you want me to get you something delivered?" He asks; the tone of his voice is gasoline on the burning flame in my lower stomach.
"Oh yeah? Are you gonna supply food for five people?"
"Yes." His answer is instant, and I admit defeat to the battle with my mouth as my lips curve into a soft smile.
"Don't do that," I shake my head, pulling my knees closer to my chest as the wind picks up, and I hope it blows the phone out of my hand and into the local lake.
"Do what?" His tone is innocent though his features are anything but.
"Don't say shit like that."
"Shit like what?" The corner of his mouth upturns as he senses my frustration, my displeasure only seeming to egg him on.
The loud chatter and laughter of my members pull me back to my reality, and I let the laugh trapped in my throat escape before clambering to my feet, glaring at the boy leaning against his headboard once I steady myself, "I have to go."
Jungkook nods in understanding, looking like he didn't expect to get me for this long anyway. Just as I'm about to say goodbye, he leans up a little, the muscle in his arm tensing as it adjusts behind his head. "Wait, are you guys attending MAMA?"
I knew he meant well, but it didn't stop the unsettling feeling brewing in my stomach, the possibility of being unable to break through in our career despite the work my sisters and I put in daily glooming over my head like a heavy, grey cloud.
"Don't be ridiculous; we could never get an invite to a show like that."
"You will one day." He responds, his tone sure and confident, and I almost believe him.
"Maybe one day." I nod, a grateful smile finding its way to my lips, and he returns the gesture, his bunny teeth peeking out slightly in a cheesy grin.
"Have a good dinner, Noona. Happy birthday," he wishes, and my finger instantly dashes to the disconnect button in reflex. Giving him one final glance, I poke my tongue out teasingly, clicking the red icon that ends both the call and my suffering.
Letting out a heavy breath, I walk back to the entrance of our building, swinging the door open and flicking the lock once it shuts behind me. My head falls forward onto the glass, and I have to stop myself from lifting it and slamming it back down a few more times.
Shoving my phone back into my hoodie pocket, I finally make my way toward my members in the kitchen. The smell that wafts from the kitchen tickles the aggressive hunger in my stomach, distracting my thoughts from other things. Halfway down the hallway, my eyes fall to the back of my head for the umpteenth time this night alone as I grind to a halt. Now I actually have to pee.