About two years ago I sent in an a vent/ask about fertility treatment while pregnant, and my struggle to find a fat positive fertility clinic in the UK.
You were SO supportive, and you linked me to the Big Berthas facebook group, for which I am eternally grateful. A lot has happened since you responded to my post and gave me a little bit of hope, and there have been a fair few 400 mile drives to get me to the one clinic without a BMI limit for IUI (intrauterine insemination), which the Big Berthas group pointed me toward.
A few weeks ago, it finally worked.
I'm four weeks pregnant; got the first positive test today. It's early days and a lot can go wrong, but as I sit here typing this right now I'm pregnant. Fat, and pregnant. My teenage eating disorder didn't fry my ovaries, my uterus despite warnings from all sorts of people hasn't been rendered 'toxic' by my present size, and even if I get morning sickness from hell I've got enough reserves to survive it intact.
I've got a long way to go, and I know it'll be an uphill battle against fatphobic midwives and a system that isn't built for me, but still. I got this far. It is possible. I'll find a way through it. Dr Sara Wickham's 'Plus Size Pregnancy' book is so far looking like an invaluable resource for anyone giving birth in the UK with a BMI one hair over socially acceptable.
Thank you. Just... thank you.
I've been sitting on this ask for months because it struck me so deeply that I just haven't been able to find the words. I start crying every time I read this message. After you initially reached out about your struggle with starting a family, you were in my thoughts all of the time. I am overjoyed to hear from you again, and with such incredible news! Congratulations, from the bottom of my heart. I couldn't be happier for you and your wife, or prouder of you for carving your own path in a system designed to give you a million barriers. This is the most mind-blowing reminder of why I do what I do. It's why I waited to answer your first ask until I knew I had found something like Big Birthas - because if I can give someone just an ounce of hope or connect them with the right resources, I consider that to be the most crucial aspect of this work. In a world that's built to oppress us, sometimes compassion can lead to change. This was only possible because you had the drive to take things into your own hands and seek resources. I am so incredibly proud of you, and I am hoping and praying that your pregnancy is still going well. No matter what happens, remember that you are never alone. ❤️
