Some randomized relationship headcanons for the wife rotation:
Characters: (in this order –>) Flins, Wanderer, Kabukimono, Albedo, Venti & Dahlia, Kazuha, Xiao, Columbina, Layla, Kokomi, Arlecchino, Freminet, Durin x GN!Reader
Warnings: crack (cause I can't take writing headcanons seriously), meowing/purring, nothing explicit but there's mentions of sexual intercourse (Kunikuzushi, Albedo, Venti & Dahlia), polyamorous relationships (Venti & Dahlia), Freminet's & Durin's parts can be interpreted as platonic or romantic.
Flins:
You guys are already married. You're just not aware of it yet.
Does some weird fae courting shit that you don't understand the meaning of. (He knows damn well that you don't btw, but you need to understand that he has to have that cookie.)
Gives you a lot jewelry that you naively accept without thinking much of it, which is an incredibly dumb move when dealing with someone of his kind; You don't take nor give anything to a fae, as everything can be used to steal your soul, even your name.
Of course, he won't do that (unless...) but just pointing out how stupid this is.
If you have horns he will definitly hang a few necklaces/bracelets on them.
He's not claiming you or anything! (Liar) but other men will see the everchanging set of jewelry on your head and decide you're too expensive for them.
Can't purr, but the sound of flickering flames is close enough I guess.
Wanderer:
Doesn't. Just not.
Relationships, I mean.
You two live in the same house, share the same bed, and every single soul who knows you swears that you have something going on but you deny it everytime.
Wanderer mostly cause he hates everyone, including himself.
He is convinced he doesn't deserve you, but as long as your relationship doesn't have a label he technically doesn't have you. (He's so delulu lmao)
You never asked any questions because you're just glad this soping wet cat of a man is letting you exist in his vicinity.
Also because you're afraid if you do as much as mention it he will go back to the hissing at you the moment you look his way faze.
I just know Nahida was the one playing matchmaker during your early days. Y'know, giving you joint assignments, and sending you to long "research trips" where you end up having to share too much personal space.
Also, he purrs. How you ask? He just does. Teyvat has its own rules. I do not make them.
Kabukimono:
Yes, he and Wanderer are two different people to me.
Kabukimono always liked you, he just didn't realize what where his feelings at first.
That is, until you addmitted to seeing him as an adorable little brother figure, and he suddenly felt dead inside.
Which doesn't make sense! You called him adorable, didn't you? He should be happy!
He sulks about it for so long that Niwa takes pity on him and gives him... tips on how to woe you.
He may or may not have teached him some stuff that he shouldn't have (💀)
I think you know how things go from here on...
No, I will not elaborate.
Actually, I'll give you something: Sex with him is so wholesome because he wasn't raised with human standards and doesn't see it the way most people do. Body parts are body parts, they're all the same to him and he doesn't understand why you feel so embarrassing about some of them.
Since Kabu's a puppet I like to headcanon that he doesn't really feel or get anything out of sex which is another reason why it's so wholesome. He helps you get off because it makes you happy and if you're happy then he's happy.
Just like Wanderer, Kabukimono can purr, he just hasn't discovered how to do it. Yet.
Albedo:
Another fucker who doesn't put a label on your relationship.
Except, he genuinely thought you already knew you are dating.
You had sex together once and he was like "that means we're together, right?" (Vro does not touch enough grass to know hooking up is a thing </3)
It didn't help that you kept coming back for more lmao.
Listen, he cleaned you up and made you food and kept asking you "Are you alright?" over and over again during the whole process. Your ex didn't take care of you that way. You can't just not come back.
It's not until that time he introduced you as his partner to Sucrose that you realized the miscommunication.
You wait until she leaves and then you're like "??? I thought we were fuck buddies."
He's low-key hurt, but when you tell him that you don't go for someone else for these stuff even when he's busy because other people don't make you feel as good he jumps at the opportunity to make shit official.
"A date."
"A date?"
"Going out on dates is an essential part of a relationship, yes? How about tomorrow?"
Cannot purr. Gold had the opportunity to do something great for the world and she refused </3
Venti & Dahlia:
DRINKING BUDDIES.
I think I'll go with deity!reader for this one because I really like the idea of Dahlia being this little guy who somehow got sandwiched by two very revered/feared divine entities only to find out they are actually some silly goofs.
Also the yummy yummy angst potential of religious guilt.
I just know he sits a lot in the cuck chair LMAO.
Something something not wanting to taint you with his mortal hands something something it's already scarligious enough that he gets to watch.
It takes you too long to actually coax him into actually joining instead of just sitting in the corner looking constipated.
Cries literal tears from the guilt, but it feels too good for him to deny it <3
Pillow princess FRFR.
Not that he doesn't like to top or anything, but his stamina is quiet... lacking compared to you and Venti.
He gets so embarrassed about it too (😭)
And speaking of Venti.
He adores it when you guys help trim his feathers. Or just touch them in general.
Pats, rubs, brushes; he doesn't discriminate!
Also you and Venti were probably already dating before adding Lia into the mix. The conversation goes something like this:
"So, a pink haired twink. Barbatos, are we for real right now?"
"He's your type...?"
"... Fair."
Remember; he is the wind itself, which means he probably can mimic any noise, so technically he can purr too. On comand even!
I don't think Dahlia can purr. You probably can tho!
Kazuha:
HEAR ME OUT GUYS! Inazuman noble reader who ran away from their abusive household and their faithful samurai Kazuha who swore himself a blade to them.
Basically the japanese version of the prince/princess x knight trope.
It starts as a two sided admiration; you for his kindness and strength in battle, and him for your wits and ability to manipulate people easily to your whims.
He could've been very well swayed by your honeyed words to serve you, and yet he wouldn't mind if that was the case— (fucking simp.)
That's how he realizes he's in love with you.
He starts writing poetry for you, but here's the thing, he always did write words of admiration and respect for you, but this time you couldn't shake the feeling that the tone of these newer pieces is bit... different.
Despite realizing that he has not so platonic feelings for you, he still treats you the same, if only out of respect and admiration.
Which only makes it harder to decipher what those verses mean.
Essentially, you're just verbally edging each other for like four to five seasons before the long awaited kissing scene.
Never mind, actually Kazuha's the only one getting edged here. You're busy playing detective.
Sadly cannot purr, but will definitly meow if you ask.
Xiao:
Another sad wet cat of a man that you probably had to wait centuries for him to finally open up to you.
You mastered the art of cooking almond tofu just to bribe this mofo into hanging out with you too.
But it's worth it, I swear!
Because now, you get to watch him napping, His cheek cutely squeeshed against the pillows (or your titties, no matter how small or big) and his adorably flustered face when he wakes up and first thing he sees is you staring at him <3
Adepti don't sleep my ass.
Very weird about physical contact. He doesn't know what he's supposed to touch and what he's not allowed to. Can he hold your hand? You did that multiple times before, but is he allowed to initiate it?
You literally sleep on the same bed, but domestic abuse/marital rape is thing, y'know. He can never too careful.
Loves, loves when you scratch his wings. It will take him another century to show them to you, let alone letting you lay your grabby little fingers on them but with some convincing...
They're high-key sensitive af, so he always burries his face in a pillow when you're having your fun.
If you heard anything. No, you didn't, or else you're never seeing them again.
No purring for this one, sadly. Do you think chirping can make up for it?
Columbina:
Hand holding!!!
She seems so dainty, but when she grabbed your hand for the first time, she almost crushed your hand in her grip.
The kuuhenki adore you and like to shower you with small little trinkets every now and then. (Most of which are stuff they took to Columbina and she decided that you might like to have them.)
All kinds of animals flock to you. A bird literally flow straight to your palm once and it was the best feeling ever!
Your dates consist of you bringing a new dish every week or so to try coaxing her out of her man(woman?)cave and take walk out with you.
Basically, you're making her touch grass. (💀)
She tells you that she will take you to the moon with her. Your clueless ass thinks that's just her way of flirting.
You asked her to meow once. She decided that she likes it and started randomly doing it when speaking with other people. (You have created a monster)
Is this what they call facing the consequences of one's actions?
Layla:
Eepi elf girlfriend go brrr.
Stay at home comfy couche dates are the go to way of spending time together!
Since she sleeps mid writing a lot, some sentences ends up being barely legible. You always rewrite those papers for her.
Physical contact!
Doesn't matter what type; holding hands, linking pinkis, hugs of any form, whatever you give she will return.
She especially likes it when you cuddle on the couche <3 and you feel so loving and warm and safe and and....
....She fell asleep.
This position is bad for her back. Maybe you should carry her to bed?
Before you could reach a conclusion, she's suddenly up again!
...It's other Layla on her way to continue, well Layla's work.
No, you don't flirt with other Layla. It feels like cheating, even if they're technically the same person.
You do have cute cooking "dates" from time to time tho!
Can she purr? I'm afraid I do not have enough lore of her yet, so this question will stay unanswered for the unforeseeable future.
Is she willing to meow? Yes. But it's like, the most dead inside meow you've ever heard in your life. So, not as cute as you thought it would be.
Kokomi:
Fish lady!
She has a very specific scent to her, most people can't smell it but if you have a particularly strong nose; I'm praying for you cause that fish stank is strong.
Kokomi baths regularly tho! I guess it's just something that has to do with her bloodline...
Also she tops. Trust me on this one chat, I know what I'm saying.
Something about her being a responsible leader raking care of her subject...
She's married to her work as much as she is married to you, so your "dates" mostly consist of you visiting her workplace with a cup of tea and a few sweets to have a chat while she works.
If she's in a good enough mood she'll let you sit on her lap!
But only if there's no one else around. She has a picture to uphold.
I think you and Gorou team up on Kokomi every once in a while to make her take a rest.
...No, I... I don't think fish can purr.
Arlecchino:
DADDY—
Low-key one of the healthiest relationships on this list (💀)
She seems so intimidating at first but is actually such a gentle lover <3
Her favorite activity is dressing you up like a doll!
I just know your closet is filled with sets of outfits like Ciel's from Black Butler.
She also invites you to Sandrone's tea parties just to have The Marionette's and The Fair Lady's opinion on your slay fit. (She's not dead, shut—)
Everyone on that table creeps you the fuck out, except for maybe the captain and la signora cause they're the only semi-normal people there.
You don't do dates and are usually introduced as an ally of hers to her less pleasent colleagues.
It's for your own safety. Which you know and understand; you don't want to fall in dottore's grasp.
What you do, however, is shopping sprees that are disguised as acts of diplomacy from her end.
The children at the House of the Hearth love you. They always wait for your next visit! (Mostly because you bring gifts to them lmfao)
At some point, they started calling you mother— I don't care what gender you are. To them you will always be mother.
No, just no. She cannot purr and definitely won't meow. Don't try asking her, don't even think of asking her. The consequences are not worth it.
NEVER MIND SHE WOULD, meow I mean— put on a cute pair of cat ears even (You can match!)
Freminet:
Shy diver boy!
I think he'll be so fun to tease <3 like he's so reactive to the smallest of compliments, let alone touches.
I think if you are patient enough, he will eventually open up and start rambling non-stop about his hyperfixations.
Will definitly teach you a thing or two if you ask! But I don't think you'll even need to because he'll probably grab your hands and try to show you how to do this or that mid-rumble without realizing what he's doing.
Gets so flustered when you point it out and has to go cool down a bit. (😭)
Will teach you how to swim if you can't, but fifty percent of your future hang outs/dates will consist of him taking you diving to show you this cool place he found.
I mean, you can always opt out but he's so excited it'll eat at you for the rest of your life if you accidentally crushed that smile by doing so </3
Definitely can't purr. Will meow if you ask him, but he'll be too embarrassed you won't see him for a whole week after. (😔)
Durin:
DURIN DURIN DURIN—
Sorry ma bad.
Can't take a compliment. (This is cannon, you cannot fight me)
Can take headpats tho!
Just... try to not injure your hand with the pointy pointy horns on his head.
Seriously, he'll feel so bad if you do, and the headpat won't feel as fulfilling anymore :(
Very good boy <3 Always eager to please! So make sure to show your appreciation for him to get him used to those compliments and keep that spark in his eyes!
Can and will purr.
He gives weird kid who likes to meow vibes, so there's that too I guess.
This is just for fun! So feel free to add your bits and pieces<3
Helloooo, so Im just imagining reader and Sonic being friends in public, but in private they're secretly friends with benefits... would love too see it ;D
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𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐁𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐖/ 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐂
HEADCANONS
── .✦ Pairing› sonic × reader
── .✦ Warning› 16+ • slight spice (implied)
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
𝒜𝒩➤ heey! I wasn’t sure if you wanted it to be NSFW or not, so I played it safe just in case! But either way, I LOVE this idea 🤭 I also decided to do it in headcanon style because I’ll be honest… my requests are piling up like a tiny avalanche 😭 I’m trying my best to get to everyone! Anyways, I really hope you like it!! 🤭🖤
⁀જ➣
💙 Okay but imagine you and Sonic acting completely normal in public while secretly hooking up behind everyone’s backs. Like y’all are sitting around with the group and he’s casually tossing an arm around the couch behind you looking all innocent meanwhile you’re trying to recover from what happened literally an hour ago.
💙 Sonic would 100% flirt in ways nobody else catches. “You look tired.” meanwhile he’s staring at you with the most smug grin imaginable because he knows why.
💙 The tension would actually be insane because he’s naturally touchy already, so nobody questions it when he grabs your waist to move past you or leans down close to your ear… but you know exactly what he’s doing 💀
💙 He definitely sneaks into your room late at night. No warning. No shame. Just tap tap at your window followed by: “You busy?” Sir it is 2 a.m.
💙 And the WORST part is how cocky he’d be afterward. Like you’ll be trying to fix your clothes and catch your breath while he’s over there looking waaaaay too pleased with himself.
💙 Y’all definitely start off saying it’s “just for fun” but then it slowly turns into him staying over longer. Falling asleep beside you. Holding you closer than necessary. Looking at you differently when he thinks you’re not paying attention.
💙 He gets so subtly possessive too 👀 Not toxic or anything, but if somebody flirts with you he’s suddenly glued to your side like: “Nah, they’re with me.” EXCUSE ME??
💙 The secret glances across the room would feed both of you for WEEKS. Especially after a night together. One look and suddenly you’re trying not to combust in front of everybody.
💙 Tails absolutely notices the vibe change. He may not know the details, but he definitely clocks the way Sonic instantly perks up whenever you walk into a room.
💙 Sonic would looove hearing you laugh during quieter moments. Like after all the flirting and tension dies down, he’s just laying there beside you with this softer expression that makes your chest hurt a little.
⁀જ➣
💙 And honestly? The biggest problem is that Sonic catches feelings hard. He tries to act chill about it at first but this man is speeding across town at midnight just because you said you had a bad day.
──────── ☆ pieces of me ☆ ────────
⋆｡°✩ toxic!bangchan x neurodivergent!reader x friend!seungmin ✩
months in the making, you and chan. irresistible, charming, charismatic chan... and he wanted you. fresh out of college, a newly grad, you think you're finally ready to open up your heart again, the last having left you broken, misunderstood, used. chan would never... the way he spoke to you, the way he treated you, he would never toss you aside, he'd never get annoyed, he'd never see the big bad thing as the big bad thing...
warnings - chan is not nice, some of the friends aren't too nice, this has friends to lovers in it, mental health themes, audhd themes, reader a form of all of the above, alcohol usage, drug usage, sexual content, cursing, this was a form of trauma dumping for me, infidelity themes, everyone kinda sucks, if i have to put anything else here let me know.
word count - 6.5k
a/n - this was written last year because i had a seungmin crash out. it's important to me, so i wanted to put it out there. as a neurodivergent girlie i hope to add to accurate representation... i do not see chan like this he's actually the love of my life, but regarding my ksm crash out, if you want the full story i'll tell you heh. i want to continue this. more will probably come. if you read this far, enjoy xo.
“Seungmin’s gonna be the last to get a girl, what are you talking about!”
Jisung screwed his brows together, his top teeth peeking through his curled lip. Jutting forward, he sent his glare across the room, over the beaten up wooden coffee table to Chan on the couch, who slid a hand over your thigh where you sat perched on his knee.
“Uhm,” Jisung cocked his head to the side, peering to the doorway that Seungmin and Minho filed through, the two stepping over sprawled legs and feet. “I put myself last for a reason.”
Minho flopped on the floor beside him, two bottles in his hand, one for himself and the other for the boy who made the list.
“Last for what?” he asked, handing the beer to Jisung, taking a sip of his own.
Chan laughed, sprawled backward with his legs parted, slumped on the cushions in ripped jeans and a white tank. A silver chain hung down his front and studs poked through his ears. His blonde hair, longer than it’s ever been, had been pushed back from his face, tiny pieces falling out of place to frame his features. His half smirk and the way his fingertips pressed into the inside of your thigh drove you mad.
It’d been weeks in the making, you and Chan. Felix and Jihyo, your closest friends in the group, they’ve been rooting for you since classes ended and summer began, that first party post-graduation the moment you caught your feelings— and realized they might’ve been there for way longer than you thought.
In the final days cramming for finals, throwing together projects, rushing papers, you found yourself beside Chan often, alone, your schedules matching up with each other. Plenty of alone time in the quiet library for idle chitchat you wouldn’t normally get from him in a situation like tonight.
Over notebooks and forgotten pencils you shared your frustration, your need for the year to end, for graduation to hurry up, taking the negative feelings from one another and holding onto them for safe keeping. Amongst your friends he’d rarely open up, get deep, share his fears he brushed off with a no big deal to which you’d remind him that they mattered.
Your feelings are valid, Chan, and you aren’t alone. Plenty of people feel a little lost when it’s time to transition.
He hit you with a shrug after a stare before he focused back on his notes, one hand dragging through his curls, the other gripping a pen.
A completely different man sat beneath you tonight. Confident, with his melodic laugh, leader of the pack, easy on everyone's eyes… And he was yours.
Kinda.
Chan raised a brow, his eyes on Minho. “Last on the list of gettin’ bitches,” he said through his laugh, and Minho nearly choked on his beer.
From your left, on the couch beside you and Chan, Jeongin snickered, his foot stretching out to tap Changbin's knees where he sat on the floor wrapped around his girlfriend, Nayeon. When their eyes met, the youngest jutted his chin to Seungmin who hadn’t moved from the doorway, all attention in the room pointing toward him.
He deadpanned, his typical resting face. His always face. The room laughed at his expense, and he simply bobbed his head and sipped his beer. His clothes hung off of him, the grey hoodie, the blue jeans, he always wore things too big for him, swimming in them. Fairly tall, the second tallest boy in the group, definitely taller than Chan, he filled the archway perfectly.
Glare bouncing around everyone's grinning faces, he asked, “And who’s first on the list?”, as he took another sip of his beer.
Chan smirked.
Jisung snickered. “Mr. Bang Christopher Chan.”
Seungmin popped his brows and glazed his eyes over you briefly. “That’s unfortunate.” He sat down on the arm of the lounge chair Hyunjin kicked back in, taking another calm and collected sip of his beer.
Chan jolted beneath you, and your stomach sunk a bit. Not because of how he grabbed your waist and sprung forward to snarl at Seungmin. But because of what Seungmin said.
“The fuck does that mean?”
Seungmin looked back up at the group, blinking, registering that he was still being talked to. His face never changed. Unbothered.
He shrugged and gestured toward you with the top of his bottle. “You feel proud to be at the top of the list of getting bitches right now?”
Chan laughed, hollow, falling right into Seungmin's trap. “Don’t be mad ‘cause you’re at the bottom, bro.”
Seungmin’s face finally broke. His lips turned down. Slightly. Something one wouldn’t notice unless they were actively looking at him as he did it. And you were.
“I’m not,” he said, emotionless eyes staring Chan down.
Everyone watched them like a tennis match, heads turning in time as each boy spoke, one spewing hot lava from his lips, the other unable to care less.
You were locked in on Seungmin though he barely gave you a glance.
Jisung flung himself forward, arms smacking against the coffee table as he laughed up at Chan half hanging off the sofa clinging to you. “It’s a joke! It’s a joke!” He glanced at Seungmin and put a hand over his chest. “I’m last, and, and, if we really think about it,” he threw a hand toward Changbin, giving a look to Felix and Jihyo on the floor next to him, “Bin is first, right? I mean… Right?” His nervous laugh had the room groaning.
Changbin tightened his arms around Nayeon, propping his chin on top of the bun on her head. His brows nestled together. “She is not bitches. She is full of love and deserving of respect.”
Chan flopped backward on the couch. Jisung and Minho slumped over in groans that spun into giggles. Felix and Jihyo exchanged a look. Hyunjin laughed with Jeongin, and Seungmin… looked at you.
And he smiled.
For a split second, behind all the noise, the laughter, the groans, the teasing, the flying of hands and chugging of drinks, Seungmin seemed to speak to you.
Deep, dark chocolate eyes speaking a language you don’t and cannot understand.
It ended all too fast when Chan slid a hand beneath your chin, turning you to look down at him. “Hi,” his full lips perk up.
Everyone spoke amongst themselves, a normality falling back into place. He brushed a thumb beneath your lashes. Narrowing his eyes, his soft smile growing, he tilted his head and breathed out a laugh.
“You’re so cute,” he whispered. He attempted to read you. You think. “For the record,” he smirked, flashing you his dimples, “You are not bitches.”
Smiling, you shook your head. “Don’t worry about it.”
Chan pouted his lips, eyes flickering down to yours. “But, I will.” He tilted his chin toward you and your heart skipped a beat, thinking he was going in for a kiss in front of all of your friends. “I like this,” he mumbled, blinking a few times. “You and me.”
A gasp shuddered through you. Cheeks flushing, you nibbled your bottom lip and he watched. Inches between you, about three to be exact, your heart thundered. Longing to swallow him whole, like you already have a few times, nothing more has been shown off to the group other than right now. Lap sitting, innocent middle school touches, yearning gazes, teeny tiny moments that gave away that you were something but not quite something but there was definitely something there but you’ve only told Felix and Jihyo late at night curled up under her blankets giggling over the fact that Chan is an earlobe biter…
No one knew, but they knew.
Chan deepened his pout and flipped his eyebrows over, his big, silly eyes making an appearance. “Don’t listen to them,” he whispered.
Sliding your hands up his biceps to his cheeks, you squeezed them and smiled. “I won’t. I like this, too. You and me. Promise.”
He glanced at your lips again. “Promise.” Then, in one quick motion, he scooped you off of his lap, stood up, and placed you back on the couch, leaving you with a wet kiss on the cheek before he turned down the hall, headed toward the bathroom.
Giggling, wiping at your cheek, Chan disappeared fast. No chance to get him back.
From the floor, Felix grabbed onto the cushion and hoisted himself up, squishing into your side, reaching for your hands and lacing his fingers through them. He pulled a knee up onto the couch and laid it across your lap as he leaned in toward you.
Fluttering his long lashes, he gave you a devastating pout and whispered, “Promise!?”
“Stop, oh my god,” you groaned with a smile, toying with the rings on his fingers.
“No, no, it’s cute, really,” he giggled. “You doing okay? Need a drink or anything?”
“Maybe in a little,” you said, taking a glance around the room, at Jisung and Minho scooting closer together on the floor. Turning to Felix, you grabbed onto his leg and pulled him into you. “Can I ask you something?”
He nodded, quickly, round eyes attentive, waiting for your question. “Always, please.”
It came out with a sigh. “That was weird right?”
Felix’s brow crinkled. “What, your promise, or the ranking of getting bitches?” Tilting your head, you told him without telling him, and he released a breath. “Yeah, it was a little weird.”
Tossing your hands up, he was quick to snatch them back. “I knew it, I-”
“We know Chan. It was… just a joke.” Felix bobbed his head, pieces of white blonde hair brushing his freckled cheeks. “If we’re being honest, he’s got the most charisma, doesn’t he? Horrific name bitches aside, he knows how to get and secure a girl. You’re on his lap for Christ sake.”
Your stomach twisted in what you assumed were butterflies. “Yeah, I am,” you whispered, giving him a look.
He bounced your hands on his lap. “You are, and you guys are cute. Besides, he’s a big, loud man who owns sleeveless shirts.”
You leaned in to him, mumbling, “Do you see his arms?”
His eyes bugged out of his head. “Do I see his arms, are you kidding? They take up all the space in the room, I swear to God if he doesn’t start throwing you around-”
Your phone buzzed in the pocket of your shorts stealing your attention. Slipping it out of the denim hugging your hips you tapped at the screen and felt your heart lodge in your throat.
“What happened?” Felix asked, looking between you and Jihyo, the two of them having their own side conversation.
Eyes growing wider as you read the tiny black words on the screen, a grin broke out onto your cheeks. Whirling around on the couch, almost knocking straight into Jeongin who sat forward to talk to Changbin and Nayeon, you met eyes with Seungmin who held onto his phone just the same.
He was already looking at you, brows low, eyes unreadable.
“What’s wrong?” Jihyo asked from the floor, crawling over to Felix's lap on her knees. She propped an elbow up on his thigh as Felix took your phone from you.
Deep voice mumbling, he read aloud, “Dodgers designated hitter, Shohei Ohtani, a confirmed start for tomorrow's game… Roberts claims he’ll pitch one inning… The star hasn’t pitched in an MLB game since 2023 due to elbow surgery…”
Seungmin's smile grew, one that didn’t reach his eyes but still hit you with a spark as he shook his head.
“Ohhh, she loves that man,” Jihyo sang, grabbing the back of Felix’s hand to turn the screen toward her as well, “Lemme see his face.”
“Mister Hot and Sexy,” Felix murmured, leaning down to lay his head on top of hers as they scrolled through the article on your phone screen.
Seungmin, with his eyes still on you, he knocked back the rest of his beer and stood on his feet. Waiting for all of three seconds, he blinked, broke his gaze from you, and took himself into the kitchen, vanishing through the doorway. Jumping to your feet your friends sprung up straight, their wide eyes taking you in.
“Where you going?” Jihyo asked.
You nodded toward the kitchen. “Gonna get a drink.”
Felix tilted his head ever so slightly. “Want one of us to go with you?”
“Seungmin’s in there, I’m good,” you said.
They both parted their lips and shut them at once, Felix asking, “You sure?”
“Yeah, I’m good,” you breathed, reaching forward to snatch your phone from his hands.
“Awh, man,” Jihyo muttered, swatting at his hip. “Look him up on your phone, I wasn’t done with his face.”
Pulling his screen out he handed it over to her and shouted after you, “Grab me a seltzer!”
Wobbling over Jeongin’s legs he didn’t move, stepping over Nayeon in Changbin’s lap, the three of them dogpiling Hyunjin with laughs and teases and jokes you didn’t have half the mind to focus on, you hurried through the doorway and caught Seungmin right as he slammed the fridge closed.
Turning to you with a smirk pulling at his lips, at the sight of you standing with both of your hands tucked politely behind your back, he twisted the top off a beer and shrugged, hands flying out at his side. “Have at it.”
Your knees almost hit the floor. Stumbling toward him in dramatics, fingers knotting into your hair, you hit his shoulder with yours– jumping to do so, and shouted, “I told you!”
Seungmin took the damage, pretending to topple over before catching himself on his feet. Face still unbothered, he sipped his beer and scrunched up his nose. “Technically, you didn’t tell me, you assumed something and it just so happened to come true.”
“Assumed, yes,” you confirmed, peeking into the fridge, pulling out a seltzer to crack open. “Was I right?” you asked with a cackle, sipping the bubbles, “Yes!”
Seungmin pulled his lips into a small smile. With one hand he hopped off of the floor and onto the counter, Adidas sneakers dangling half foot away from the floor. Beer bottle pressed to half smiling lips, he watched you pace the linoleum floor, hands flying a mile a minute.
“No one knew for sure if he was ever going to go back to pitching, you’re gonna tell me that Roberts had full confidence the entire time? Hell to the fuck no!”
Seungmin shook his head, encouraging you. “To the fuck no.”
“That man lived in fear,” you lowered your voice, stepping closer to him, “In fear that his star player was not going to make it back onto the mound, when we all know damn well that trade happened because he wanted him back out on that mound.” The space between you grew smaller. “With all the goals he’s been hitting? The history he’s been making? Anyone who knows anything about baseball knows Shohei Ohtani. My cousins know about him, and they are way out of the loop of anything happening on this planet.” The denim of his jeans brushed your knee. “He’s a star. And he’s back.”
Seungmin waited a second, then opened his mouth. “And you…”
Your arms shot up, some seltzer spilling from your can onto the floor. “I told you so!”
Defeated, he laughed, tipping his head backward. “You told me so, you win.” He glanced down at you, whipping your phone out, tapping through your notes. “Oh god,” he groaned within a laugh, trying to shove your phone away with his beer, dripping condensation all over your hands, “I believe you, okay, I believe you, you win, you said it-”
“On December 11th, 2024, I told Seungmin this season would be the season Shohei Ohtani has his Dodgers pitching debut,” flickering your determined eyes up to meet his and his giggles, you whispered, “And he said, and I quote, ‘Ohtani pitching debut my ass’.”
Seungmin's shoulders slumped. “I can’t believe you wrote it down.”
Locking your phone, you smiled proud, sliding it into your pocket. Sipping your drink, you leaned into him and winked. “I foresaw the prophecy, I had to have proof.”
Giving you a wild look, he leaned forward, inches between your noses. “I never doubted your prophecy.” Brown eyes blinked at you, dark lashes fluttering against cream colored skin. “You’re usually right.”
Quiet settled around you both. Chatter rang from the doorway, mere feet away, yet it felt much further. In the kitchen alone, away from prying eyes, jarring comments, any type of perception, your heart rate seemed to slow. Consciously settling into your body, the cold from the can in your hand, the clothes on your body, shorts and a big tee, the hair pulled up on your head, wisps tickling your neck and shoulders…
“We should just stay in here,” Seungmin whispered, his fingertips drawing circles in the water droplets on his bottle. Softness, a voice fit to comfort.
You gulped, shrugging. “It’s not bad out there.”
His brow creased slightly. “Tell that to your shoulders that finally relaxed.”
You clenched your jaw. “Shut up. Everything is fine.”
Studying one another for a moment, he blinked and sipped his beer, breaking his gaze. “You aren’t bitches, yanno,” he said quietly with a smack of his lips, “They’re all acting like jerks tonight.”
Closing your eyes, you breathed through a laugh. “It’s fine, we’re fine. Chan and I, it’s… new. Really new, it doesn’t need to be so serious, we-”
“He seemed pretty proud to be number one,” Seungmin grumbled with a pop of his brows.
“Yeah, well, it was a stupid, like, joke,” you sputtered, taking three steps back as he jumped off the counter, towering over you, “They do shit like this, like all the time, i-it didn’t bother me.”
Seungmin stared at you. He sipped his beer. He bobbed his head, once. “Sure.”
Swatting at his chest, you pursed your lips. “I’m serious. It’s fine.”
“Okay,” he said.
“Seungmin.”
“You wanna add to the note that I said you’re always right,” he offered with a tilt of his head.
With a gasp all discomfort wiped from your face. “Yes, oh my god, oh my god,” you muttered, working your phone out again. “Documenting this, forever, and ever… On June 15th, 2025, Seungmin told me…” Mumbling through the rest, phone shoved back into your pocket, you snapped your head up to find him waiting in front of you with another seltzer in his hand. You blinked.
“For Felix,” he said.
“Oh, right,” you sighed, taking it from him. “How did you…”
“I heard him,” he smiled.
“Oh, thanks, I would’ve totally forgotten.”
He simply nodded his head. “You know, I think Hyunjin likes him.”
The corners of your lips pricked upward. You knew a couple secrets yourself. “Good to know,” you whispered.
And then the quiet came back. A mix of comfort, and calm, not like the silence you’d have with Chan, the type you always felt the need to fill, the pressure to take up space, a silence like pins and needles against your brain.
Not here.
Not with Seungmin.
He’d be the first to break it.
“Can I ask you something?”
You whispered, “Of course.”
“If Ohtani pitches another game-”
“Oh-who-ee?!”
Heart leaping into your throat, your body spun around in an instant. Swaggering through the doorway, cheesy smile on his face, Chan’s eyes spit back and forth between you and Seungmin.
“Ohtani,” you shouted with a laugh, holding open your arms. He sunk right into them, his wrapping around your waist, body weight rocking you back and forth. “We’ve been over this, it’s Oh-tah-nee.”
Chan nuzzled his nose into your neck and dug his fingers into your sides, crippling you with giggles as he tickled you. “What is it?” He laughed with you, keeping you on your feet. “What’s his name?”
“Ohtah-,” you gasped, wriggling around like mad, “Sho-Shohei, Ohtani!”
“You know, you keep saying it, but it just sounds like Mister Hot and Sexy.”
His tickling ceased, his hands scooping beneath your shoulders to hold you up while you caught your breath and your footing. Cheeks cramping from smiling, you groaned aloud.
“He is Mister Hot and Sexy.”
Chan raised a brow. “Sure you not thinking ‘bout me?”
“Stop,” you broke into giggles again, skin flushing. Turning to your left, shock evading your being because Seungmin was still here–
He wasn’t.
Looking at Chan, like he was expecting, he widened his eyes and gave you a tight lipped smile. “Come on,” he said, wrapping a hand around one of your wrists, yanking you toward the living room.
Back on his lap, having weaved back over legs and a Changbin that now laid flat on the floor for some reason, Chan had one hand sliding up and down your back and the other resting on your legs. He spoke with Jihyo, still on the floor, while Felix sipped his seltzer that you dropped into his lap and sideeyed her.
Business as usual. Talkative friends, loud laughter, pulsing music, crude jokes, the tensing of your shoulders as the noise grew—
No.
Forcing them down, ignoring how the noise all meshed together in your head, one big jumble that stood before you and screamed bloody murder in your face—
No.
Squeezing your eyes shut, sucking in a deep breath, one of Chan's hands gave you a squeeze, somewhat grounding you back in the room. He shifted beneath you, his body bouncing. He was laughing.
Tuning back into the noise, eyes narrowing to focus on one voice, maybe the loudest, or the shrillest, you couldn’t choose, but you didn’t really have much of a choice, the voice chose for you, Minho spoke.
“My place. Everyone’ll be there,” he said with a raise of his beer he’d gotten up a few minutes ago to grab. One for him, one for Jisung.
How long have you been sitting here?
Hollers of invites being accepted echoed around the couches.
Even Chan curled his lip with a sideways smile and pressed his fingertips into your curves. “We’ll be there.”
Leaning into him, you whispered, “Where?”
His eyes glazed over your lips. “Minho’s, this Friday.”
“For what?”
“A party.”
Your brows furrowed. “Why?”
Chan cracked a laugh. “To… party, I dunno. Some summer thing, one big graduation party or something.”
“Who’s gonna be there?”
You didn’t miss the gentle roll of his eyes.
“Everyone, he just said it, damn.” He covered his words with a laugh, and then within seconds the room began to scream bloody murder again, directly in your face.
You lost endless minutes. Tapping in and out of conversations, barely hearing half of what everyone said. Jokes misunderstood yet laughed at anyway, generous nods during discussion you couldn’t even place what for…
A hand wrapped around yours.
“Hey,” a voice warm and deep spoke. Blinking, you find sunshine. “You okay?” He’d scooted across the floor, now sitting at Chan's feet.
The screaming bloody murder stopped.
It’s as if someone turned the volume down significantly.
Swallowing, you nodded. “Yeah,” you whispered, and Felix tried to nod with you.
“Okay.”
He didn’t go far, but he did move away. Watching him slide back to Jihyo, your throat tightened. Chan’s hands gripped your thigh. He’d thrown his head back, laughing again, and in the background, Jisung laughed too.
Minho’s on Friday for a party. Everyone will be there.
The beat of the music laid on top of your skin. Chan moving beneath you, rocking you with him, you couldn’t breathe. He wouldn’t stop moving. It’s not like he did it on purpose, he was just talking, he wasn’t rocking you around as if he wanted to, and it’s not like you were moving that much anyway, but his hands didn’t squeeze you hard enough, and though they were careful, respectful– they were too loud. Every brush of his hand, it screamed. Bobbing around, like he didn’t care you were sitting on him, touching you mindlessly, claps of laughter from all angles of the room, multiple mouths, and what the hell were they talking about?
You missed it again.
You weren’t paying attention.
It screamed, it all screamed, so fucking loud, nails on a chalk board, high pitched squeaking gears, nails hammering into the hardest of woods, fists banging on hollow metal–
“C’mon.”
A hand laced with yours, like before.
Felix.
Glancing up, Jihyo stood behind him, eyes trained on you.
You moved fast, swiftly, a ghost simply floating to her feet.
Chan sat forward, leaning over his knees. “Where are you going?” His hands opened in front of him.
The party moved on.
Felix gave him a look as he shifted you between him and Jihyo. “We’re leaving.”
Chan’s brows screwed together. “What?” He reached for your seltzer that now sat on the coffee table. “Nuh-uh, she’s still got a drink, you’re not leaving.” Meeting your eyes over Felix’s shoulder, he stood up and smiled. “Thought you were gonna stay over.”
“I- I- I can’t, I-”
Eyes flashing around the room, your jumble of words fell flat when they latched onto Seungmin. Beside Hyunjin, who cozied up in his arms chatting with Changbin, he looked at you. Watched you. No hint on his face whatsoever to give away what went on inside his head.
Felix tipped his chin up and shot Chan a grin. “We’re going now. Thanks for having us, this was fun.”
You barely took a step down the hall.
Hyunjin shouted, “Wait, you’re leaving?” But, he was only worried about Felix. He’d flung himself out of Seungmin's arms, the boy nearly on the floor with how worried he was about Felix.
Felix smiled, drove his gaze around the room that’d now gone silent, and said, “Yeah. We’re leaving.”
“Bye guys,” Jihyo said, slipping her hand around your wrist, the perfect squeeze.
A safe squeeze.
A, you’ll be out of here soon, squeeze.
‘Bye’s’ and ‘See ya’s’ flew around the space as you and your friends shuffled toward the hall, Chan hanging behind you like a shadow, Hyunjin sliding off the lounge chair with another, “Wait!”
Stepping aside at the doorway, Felix slipped around a corner that Hyunjin tumbled into, leaving Jihyo, and Chan, walking with you toward her car. Halfway down the lawn she released your hand, gave you a look over her shoulder, but kept walking. Big eyes you couldn’t read.
“You running away from me?” He laughed, but the question stung.
Facing him, stomach flopping over, you took a breath. “Course not.”
He pulled his full lips into a pout, swaggering into your energy, both of his hands taking to your face, your cheeks. His thumbs, they drug under your lashes. He took steady breaths. His brown eyes melted into yours. His voice had softened tenfold.
A different man outside than he was inside.
With a tilt of his head, he asked, “Did something happen?”
“No,” you breathed, lying through your teeth.
Though, to think about it, what was it that happened? How were you to describe to him what it felt like to sit there? How would he ever understand that his favorite past time, the hours he could spend in there, that yours came with a time limit? An hour glass full of sand, and once that final grain slipped through the neck it’s like the bell tower struck midnight, leaving you with minimal time to get out, to escape, or else everyone would find out.
“Jihyo has to work tomorrow, we all came together, it just… We gotta go.”
Chan stared. Then, at once, he gulped, nodded, and leaned in to press a kiss to your forehead. “I get it,” he sighed, pulling away. “Talk to you tomorrow.”
“Hey, hang on,” a quiet laugh slipped from your lips. Grabbing onto the collar of his tank, you yanked him back into you, bodies bumping together. A smile corrupted his cheeks. “We have all summer, why rush it?”
He frowned. “‘Cause I really wanted you to stay tonight.”
“Aren’t Han and Minho staying over?”
He nodded. “Changbin and Nayeon, too.”
Pursing your lips, you tapped his shoulders and drug your hands up to his cheeks, like he held you before. “Then you have plenty of people to keep you company.”
Closing the space between you, he whispered, “They can’t do what you do.”
As much as it lit a fire within you, almost persuading you to stay, it struck a nerve.
Bitches.
“That’s the only reason you want me to stay,” you said just as he went in for a kiss.
Your words paralyzed him for a solid two seconds.
“It did bother you,” he huffed, stepping backward.
You took a step closer. “Chan, no, that wasn’t a big deal, you guys were joking-”
“Nah, nah, nah,” he laughed and walked up the grass. His tone hurt. “Nothing happened, nothing's bothering you, you don’t wanna stay ‘cause Jihyo has to work even though you’ve been saying for two days that you can’t wait to stay, I get it.”
Felix hopped out of the house, the front door still wide open. Hyunjin and Seungmin filed out moments after.
“You guys going, too?” Chan tossed a hand toward them.
Hyunjin, wiping his lips with the back of his hand, wore a dazed smile. “Yeah,” he answered matter of factly, glancing at Felix who hurried your way and snatched you by the wrist. He pulled you toward Jihyo’s car, she’d parked it in front of the driveway, waiting for you two.
Seungmin found you the second his feet hit the porch. Hands in his pockets, trailing behind his friend, head hung low, he met your eyes and clenched his jaw. Once in Felix’s hold, he shot a glare at Chan, and didn’t even say goodbye.
Hyunjin gave him a hug, shook Chan back and forth, thanked him for the drinks, but Seungmin… Seungmin gave him nothing.
With a vengeance Felix pulled the passenger door open and moved you inside, shutting it gently.
Your lungs squeezed within your chest.
Jihyo tapped a nail against the steering wheel.
Your heart twisted.
She took a deep breath, mirroring how the cool air blasted out the vents on the dashboard, like the engines on a jet plane.
Felix flung the backdoor open and jumped on the leather. His feet rustled against water bottles on the ground, his fingers drug against the fabric of the seats, it sent a chill down your spine.
You couldn’t swallow.
You needed to, and you couldn’t.
Your skin, nails on it appealed to you, but it was a bad idea.
You wanted to crawl out of it, come into anew.
“Someone is Seung-pissed,” Jihyo mumbled, and Felix hummed in agreement, clicking his seatbelt, watching the other two get into Seungmin’s car.
“Very much so,” he muttered, and they shared a look. “Lets go to my house, no one’s home.”
Jihyo pointed her gaze toward you. “Felix’s good?” She’s learned to train her face, but you could see through her. She kept a strong facade though behind it lived concern. “Used that last tea spoon for that, didn’t you?” She cocked her head out the window, at Chan shutting his front door.
Tears welled in your eyes.
Your joints locked.
Each breath in and out of your nose, shallow.
Your hands trembled, until Felix sat on the edge of his seat and laid his arm over the center console.
He didn’t have to say anything.
Grabbing onto it, one hand squeezing his wrist, the other tugging at fingers, you sunk down in the passenger seat and cried.
And they let you.
And they didn’t ask what was wrong.
Felix let you know he was there, an occasional curl of his fingers over yours, his other hand grabbing the back of your seat, right by your shoulder, not touching you, but touching you.
Jihyo gave you small smiles while they talked quietly to one another, while she drove. They involved you in the conversation, and when you didn’t answer, or if you mustered up the energy to give them a nod, they didn’t ask more from you.
They understood you were here, present in the car, you could hear them, you could feel them.
Even arriving at Felix’s, without so much as a word from you, he pulled open your door and followed Jihyo up the few steps to his front door. Pulling his keys out of his back pocket, shoving them in the lock, Jihyo wrapped an arm around your shoulders when you joined them on the stairs.
Stepping over the threshold, cool air spreading over your skin, the quiet in the house soothing your jagged edges, you took yourself straight to the kitchen and pulled a water bottle from the fridge.
“Grab me one? Please?” Jihyo asked, circling through the living room, kicking her shoes off at the sink as she lathered her hands with soap and pulled the faucet on with her wrists.
A simple task.
You finally smiled, something small.
She needed you.
Tucking her bottle under your arm, you cracked yours open and took a sip, the cold a subtle reset.
“Who wants the Mark Gonzales hoodie?!”
“ME!” Jihyo shouted, shaking her hands over the sink. Groaning, she rolled her shoulder back and sighed. “Think I have to shower.”
Up the stairs and down a short hallway, you padded into Felix’s bedroom and Jihyo took over his bathroom. Over beige carpet you tiptoed and dropped the bottles of water on his bed.
“She okay?” Felix asked, speaking within the room, voice low, comforting.
Turning to him, taking the sweats he held out for you, a soft pair too big for you, with a matching hoodie to go with it, you nodded. “Washed her hands, but wanted to shower.”
“Valid,” he whispered, slipping his shirt over his head, tossing it into the hamper behind his door. Following suit, you stripped down and jumped into his clothes that hung off of you. Clothes that made you feel like you could breathe again. “You doing okay?”
“Mhm,” you hummed, crawling onto his king sized mattress. Sitting back against his pillows, sipping from your water, you caught his eye and almost laughed at the look he gave you. “I am.”
Slipping into sweats that his t-shirt hung over, he said, “I’m talking about Chan.”
“Let’s talk about Hyunjin,” you smiled, and he scoffed.
With a grin he rolled onto his bed. “Let’s not.”
“How come?”
He wriggled himself beside you and laid his head on your shoulder. “Because.”
You sunk down on the pillows and turned to face him. He let you wrap an arm around his waist and tangle your leg around his.
“Because, why? I thought you liked him.”
“Shh,” he hushed, pressing his nose against your jaw. “She’ll hear you.”
The shower turned off and you both giggled.
“Think she heard me,” you whispered.
Felix slid his arms through the pocket on the hoodie you wore. “We can’t tell her.”
The bathroom door opened. In a towel, Jihyo rushed into the room and let it fall to the floor.
“Hoodie,” she said.
Felix lifted an arm, gesturing to the top of his dresser. “Over here.”
“Why can’t we tell her?” you asked in a whisper.
Pulling the hoodie over her wet hair, Jihyo popped her head out wearing furrowed brows. “Tell me what?” She opened a drawer, stealing a pair of shorts.
Felix moved his head so you could see him, the look on his face hysterical. Lowered brows, downturned lips, pouty cheeks.
Switching the lights off, Jihyo hurried across the carpet and snuggled up behind Felix. She pulled the blankets up, covering the three of you, and settled into the pillows. Her arm flung over his waist, below yours, your elbows looping together, and her leg stretched over top of him to hook around your waist.
“Mm,” she hummed. “Goodnight.”
Felix snickered. “She forgot already.”
“Did not,” Jihyo snapped. “You guys are just gonna ragebait me before telling me, and I’m not dealing with it. I’m protecting my energy.”
“Protecting my energy,” you whispered within a laugh.
Felix’s groan turned into a moan aloud. “I like Hyunjin.”
At once, both you and Jihyo shook the bed, shouting, “I KNEW IT!”
Felix grabbed you both and pinned you back down. “No! Don’t, please, don’t, I can’t deal with it, I can’t understand him, I don’t even know if he likes me like that-“
“He seemed to like suckin’ face,” Jihyo laughed. Felix gasped, shoving her.
“Seungmin said he likes you,” you said, and they froze.
Rolling to his stomach, whacking you and Jihyo in multiple places doing so, Felix and his messy hair looked at you with hope. Hope he so obviously wanted to swallow and keep to himself.
“Is that what you guys were talking about in the kitchen? Felix and Hyunjin?” Jihyo asked, her hair staining the pillows with wet patches. Felix didn’t move. “You were in there for a while, I didn’t think you were ever coming back.”
“We weren’t in there that long,” you rolled your eyes, missing the look they shared, again. “We were talking about Ohtani, he pitches tomorrow.”
“Oh, that’s right,” Felix smiled, “I know you’re excited.”
“I am,” you said quietly, reaching up to fix strands of blonde that stood straight up on his head, “But he told me that he thinks Hyunjin likes you.”
He flopped headfirst into the pillows with a groan.
“What,” you sneered.
Jihyo pursed her lips, and mouthed at the same time Felix said, muffled by pillows, “Thinks he like me is so much different than knows he likes me.”
“Invite him over tomorrow,” Jihyo shrugged.
Felix sat up faster than ever before. Grabbing her by the collar of his hoodie she wore, his nose almost grazed her cheek. “Are you insane, why would I do something like that, we’ve never hung out like that.”
You scoffed. “You guys are making out, Lix, he can come over.”
“So can Seungmin,” Jihyo said, and you glanced at her. She was side-eyeing you. “Tell them it’s for the game, or something.”
Narrowing your eyes, you started, “Seungmin would be coming for the game, I don’t-”
Felix whipped his head back and forth between you, eyes pleading with someone to make a decision.
“Then it’s perfect,” Jihyo cut you off, wearing a smug smirk. “Seungmin and Hyunjin are coming over tomorrow. Are we all okay with that?” Her hands lifted into the air, awaiting a response.
Meeting eyes with Felix, the two of you shrugged and nodded.
You said, “Seungmin’s gonna want to watch the game, so-”
“Great,” Jihyo cut you off again, “Seungmin and Hyunjin are coming over.” Sealing her sentence with definitive looks to either of you, she twisted away and buried herself under the blankets. “Goodnight!”
Pulling your lips tight, both you and Felix holding in giggles muttered, “Goodnight!”
based on this post i made a while ago and haven’t been able to stop thinking about:
Vegas, 2014—Redux
“Something wrong?”
Hollander does not respond at first. He holds the glass of vodka that Ilya offered him with the air of a man who is well aware that he does not like the taste.
“Fine,” Hollander croaks, his throat bobbing. He blinks once, twice, three times.
Ilya waits, cigarette in his mouth. He’s not sure why he waits for Hollander to say something more (he asked me about Russia and my family and I shut him down here, here is where I taught him we were nothing when I wanted everything—) but he does.
Hollander swallows. Stares at his vodka like he does not know what to do with it.
Ilya, for some inexplicable reason, feels compelled to speak. “You are returning home, yes?”
Hollander startles, turns to stare at Ilya, but his eyes are far away, somewhere Ilya cannot follow or reach. Hollander clears his throat. “Yeah, uh. Yes.”
Ilya waits, but Hollander does not follow this up with anything substantive.
The silence is cloying. Ilya clears his throat, wincing as the noise fills the room. Normally, Hollander is easier to talk to than this. There is always something for Ilya to say that will pull a reaction out of him—a wry smirk, a scoff, a huff of laughter if Ilya says something particularly outrageous about another player. Now, Hollander does not meet Ilya’s eyes, instead glancing around the room again, thumbing at his glass of vodka, barely touched. Ilya wants to crack open Hollander’s mind and search the crevices for the words that Hollander is refusing to spill out loud. He wants to know what the six months of silence between them has looked like for Hollander, what he did before they came here, how the Olympics went for him, if Ilya lived in Hollander’s mind the way he does for Ilya. It occurs to him that he should be thinking of his flight back to Russia tomorrow. What his father and brother will have to say about his win.
Hollander stands, startling Ilya out of his train of thought. The glass of vodka is placed on the nightstand. Ilya stares as Hollander moves quickly, gathering his clothes. Ilya blinks hard. For some reason, this scene does not match how he thought they would leave things. He had imagined Hollander trying to pick at him, to find something for Ilya to spill about his personal life—
(he asked if I even liked Russia last time, don’t you remember, he wanted to be sweet and I pushed him as far as I could while he was still in my arms, and he came back to me anyway—)
“Leaving so soon?” Ilya blurts. Hollander turns back to look at him, pinning Ilya under his gaze. He watches Hollander watch him. There is something in Hollander’s eyes that he cannot quite explain to himself.
“Early flight,” Hollander says. “Think you have one, too.”
Ilya stares, wondering how Hollander even knew, but Hollander does not leave him room to ask, with his gathered clothes bunched in his arms. Ilya had expected some conversational divide between them in the aftermath of this tryst, given their lack of contact, but it had not occurred to him that Hollander clearly had as well.
Hollander mutters have a good summer as he heads into the adjoining room of the suite. The cigarette is still between Ilya’s lips. He does not light it. His eyes are still fixed on the spot where Hollander just left, almost as if the shadow has decided to stay and haunt his penthouse suite.
Two minutes later, the door is closed. Ilya closes his eyes.
John pounds his fist against the mat and somebody somewhere whistles. For a gnawing, long second, Buck doesn’t release him. John thinks he means to actually dislocate his shoulder. His eyes roll and he pants and laughs against the mat, feels it pressing in his mouth.
“Do it,” John snarls, “and I’ll fuckin’ kill you.”
--
Gale's daddy owns a fight club. John's always liked a fight.
