tell me, will we survive? pt. 1
𔘓 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You're still in love with Mingyu. Just not with the version of him who forgets to look at you. 𔘓 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: architect!Mingyu x artist!reader 𔘓 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst, smut, established relationship, college sweethearts, 18+ 𔘓 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: a bit of heavy angst, cursing, kissing, steamy shower scene (lol), oral (f. receiving), hair pulling 𔘓 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 5K 𔘓 𝐀𝐍: This is a new series that I dreamed up while I was listening to music and I wanted to write about potentially falling out of love with someone you thought would be with for the rest of your life. This might be the shortest chapter in the series but I hope you guys enjoy it 🥺
I want to give a huge thank you to @hannieween and @hannieoftheyear for reading over this for me, let me annoy you with my ramblings and giving me some well needed feedback. Also thank you to @straylightdream and @haologram for letting me run ideas when I was stuck.
playlist: dosii- lovememore., summer walker- insane, def.- my abandoned love, dpr ian- violet crazy, christian kuria- santorini, jiwoo- sapphire blue
You never imagined the possibility of falling out of love with Mingyu.
You don’t know exactly what it is, and you can’t explain the feeling you have other than as boredom and a lack of effort. It’s the same routine over and over. Wake up together, go to work, come home, make dinner, shower, and sleep. You can’t recall the last time you actually looked at each other and had a real conversation. Or touched each other outside of a quick peck on the lips. You are about to crawl out of your skin.
You still care about him and love him, of course. You've been together for a long time, having met in art school where he studied architecture and you focused on painting in Fine Arts. From the beginning, there was a strong bond, and he quickly became your favorite person. You shared many things—chemistry, sex, and a connection that felt like meeting your twin flame. After only six months of dating, you moved in together, but it already felt like you'd been a couple forever. He understood you, loved you in the way you needed, and you supported him in his pursuit of his Master's Degree. He always made time to be present with you.
But lately, he hasn’t been present, as if his attention is elsewhere. The fire you felt at the start of your relationship—the vibrant colors you saw when he was near—has faded into gray over the past year. Mingyu was your inspiration, your muse, and now you’re forced to find it elsewhere. You’ve attempted to reignite those initial feelings by spending time together outside the house or cuddling, but often you were met with responses like “yeah sure, baby, let’s talk about it later” or “not right now.”
The reality is your heart doesn’t beat the way it used to when you think of him, and to be frank, it makes you fucking sad.
You sit at the table, watching him make breakfast with a soft hum like nothing is wrong, like you don’t feel the way you do, and that you haven’t been trying for months to bring that spark back. Is he that oblivious? Is he happy with your lives now? Can he not see how tired you are of this? Of everything?
“Here you go, babe,” Mingyu announces, setting a plate of eggs and hashbrowns in front of you. “Are you sure you don’t want any more?”
“I’m okay,” you respond with a weak smile. “I’m not very hungry.”
You mumble thanks while you sip your black coffee with sugar and heavy cream, while Mingyu sits across from you with his usual plate of bacon, eggs, and hashbrowns. He eats as he reads the latest news on his phone, not paying attention to you as you pick at your food and take small bites. The forecast calls for clear skies and high temperatures, yet winds and dark clouds are outside your window. You chuckle at the irony in this, thinking of the storm that has been brewing in your heart for the past several months. Can you two survive this? Should you even keep trying?
Losing your remaining appetite, you quickly drink your coffee and pack up your breakfast, hoping to eat it later. Outside, the wind picks up, clouds darken, and leaves swirl in circles. You look at Mingyu, wishing he would notice you didn’t finish your food, see the sadness on your face, or hear your broken heart.
“Hey, Gyu,” you call out to him. “Can we have some time for you and me when we get home tonight?”
Mingyu meets your eyes briefly, giving you a kind smile before returning to his phone. “Sure, whatever you want.”
You nod, then go into your shared bedroom and get dressed for the day ahead. With a distracted motion, you pull on a flannel shirt and a pair of jeans, tying your hair into a loose ponytail. You work in an art studio, and you plan to go in and work on your piece for your upcoming art show. It’s supposed to be a piece that showcases love and passion, and yet you are drowning in misery.
The thunder makes itself known, followed by a lightning strike that hits too close to home. You hear his footsteps trodding in the hallway, barging into the bedroom, and shuffling around in the closet. It was like you weren’t even there.
Your alarm goes off at 8:00 am sharp, the horn blaring from your speakers and filling your large bedroom. Turning it off, you wait, as in any second now, like clockwork, Mingyu would come tumbling out of the closet with his shirt buttoned and his suit jacket barely on, and you would go in and save the day, fixing his tie and handing him his briefcase.
“Thanks, babe,” he says, on routine, planting a kiss on your cheek. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
Before you can respond, he is already out of the bedroom, leaving you feeling desolate and cold. The sound of jingling keys echoed down the quiet hallway, a rhythmic clink that grew fainter with each step. You heard the door crank open and shut, confirming that you are once again left alone with your thoughts swirling in your head. There was no love in his exit, nor passion—just a transactional exchange, like has continued to be for several months now. You deserve to feel loved. Valued. Appreciated
And if Mingyu can’t do that, as much as it will hurt, you will leave him.
Mingyu knows you aren’t happy. He saw it in your eyes when he left this morning. The sparkle isn’t there, your glow is gone, and he doesn’t know how to fix it.
He knows that he has been neglectful, distracted by work, and he has let it go on long enough. But he's been on a lucky streak with projects and is on track to get the promotion he has been longing for— to give you the life that you have always wanted. But still, seeing the sadness in your eyes makes him feel like shit. He hopes you can hold out for a little bit longer, and it’ll all be worth it. He loves you too damn much.
“Why do you look like your cat died?”
Mingyu spins in his chair and looks at his best friend Wonwoo, a fellow engineer who leans on your desk. They both work at an architectural firm, overseeing a riverfront project that requires him to be in and out of the field. Mingyu has been unofficially leading the project, drawing up blueprints from his office and visiting the site to make sure everything is up to code and to his clients ’ liking. This has led to more hours spent away from home and less time with you, adding more dullness to your lives.
“No one died, man,” he says, throwing a paper ball at Wonwoo. “It’s just some things going on at home with YN.”
“What do you mean?”
Mingyu sighs, looking up at the ceiling as his heart feels heavy. “I can tell she’s not happy. I haven’t exactly been the best boyfriend and available for her. But you know I have been working my ass off trying to get this promotion.”
Wonwoo doesn’t say anything immediately, letting the words sync in. He has never been a man of many words, always listening and observing, a contrast to Mingyu, who is always talking and philosophizing about everything.
“I love her man, you know that,” Mingyu confesses. “ She’s a part of me, you know? There isn’t anyone in the world who gets me like she does. I feel that getting this promotion can help us move out of our apartment and into the life we’ve always talked about. She deserves the world, and I want to take care of her.”
“Do you want my advice?” He finally says.
“No.”
“Well, you’re going to get it anyway, smartass,” Wonwoo quips, swatting him on his arm. “Does she know all of this? How do you feel about her? Why you’ve been working so much?”
“I mean sorta. But I have been so busy with work that I haven’t talked to her as much.”
Wonwoo raises a brow. “You know she can’t read minds, right? Talk to her before you lose her for good.”
Mingyu doesn’t answer. There was nothing else to say. Wonwoo was absolutely right.
“I know,” Mingyu lets out an exasperated sigh. “She asked me this morning to make some time for her tonight. I’m going to talk to her and show her I love her.”
“Good deal,” Wonwoo nods curtly. “Shit, here comes the boss.”
Mingyu heard his boss before she arrived, the sound of her heels tapping on the marble tile with each step. Chloe Kim was every bit the formidable CEO, barely hitting 5’5”, but was sharp, precise, and not afraid to stand up for herself or the firm. Mingyu and Wonwoo stood up instantly as she walked by with her assistant Anna, and it wasn’t lost on him that Chloe had a twinkle in her eye when she looked at him. Chloe has made subtle advances in the past, under the guise of work, of course, but he has always turned them down, as he has you at home. Plus, he doesn’t shit where he eats.
She made her way to the front of their desks, the only thing behind her being the picture windows that overlooked the city.
“Everyone,” Chloe announces, her throaty voice catching everyone’s attention. “I have an announcement to make.”
Mingyu and Wonwoo exchanged glances, folding their arms at the same time as they waited for the news. The chairs being pushed back and the paper being shuffled could be heard briefly before the sound of silence descended. Chloe’s expression did not indicate whether the news was good or bad, and that made him nervous.
“Great job, everyone, on the Riverfront project,” Chloe breaks into a smile. “I have gotten in contact with the owners of the building and the contractors, and they are willing to extend their contracts with us on other projects. Your hard work and professionalism have been attracting potential investors, and we are moving in the right direction. Also, thank you to Mingyu for leading this project like a fearless leader and keeping everyone satisfied.”
Mingyu bows slightly while everyone breaks into applause, his cheeks slightly turning red from the unexpected praise.
“As a thank you,” Chloe continues, her eyes staying on Mingyu. “I am treating everyone to dinner at the Hana Tori Steakhouse tonight. Reservations will start at 6:30 pm. You aren’t required to come, but it would be appreciated if you did.”
Her assistant Anna types on her phone and presses send, with everyone’s computer buzzing with an incoming email. “I have sent the directions to the steakhouse. I will see you all later.”
Chloe strides to her office, with Anna trailing behind her as she types on her phone, the smell of her honeyed perfume trailing behind her. Mingyu feels elated, knowing that his hard work is finally paying off. That promotion will be his in a matter of time, and he can give you the life you have always craved.
“Good job, bro,” Wonwoo praises, placing a supportive hand on his shoulder. “Do you think YN is going to understand about tonight?”
Shit. Tonight. Mingyu realizes he will not be home early enough, and his heart sinks to his chest. He promised, gave his word this morning, that he would give you the time you wanted, his attention that you deserved. It’s going to be another broken promise to you, and he is terrified of losing you. However, if he does not attend this dinner, it will not look good to the rest of the team.
Fuck, he curses internally.
“I hope she does,” Mingyu mutters. “I’m going to call her now and let her know. Hopefully, she will not be pissed.”
His stomach is filled with anxiety and dread as he steps onto the balcony on his floor, thumbing through his favorites on his phone until he finds your contact and presses send. It rings a few times, and he holds his breath, hoping he wouldn’t have to hear the sadness in your voice when you reneg on your promise once again.
“Hey, babe,” you answer on the last ring. “Everything all right?”
“Y-yeah,” he stutters, slightly undoing his tie. “We got an extension on some contracts, and the boss said I did a good job leading the team.”
“That’s great, baby,” you cheer through the phone. “I am so proud of you. We have to celebrate tonight!”
“Uh, that’s why I’m calling,” he says slowly, his anxiety picking through him piece by piece. “The boss is treating us to a steak dinner tonight, and it will not look good if I’m not there, so…”
“Oh.”
He waits on bated breath, expecting an explosion of anger and shouting, even though that wasn’t in your nature. The call is silent for a while, and he is sure you have disconnected until he looks at his screen and sees you are still there.
“Fine,” you finally say, letting out a deep sigh. “I’ll see you later then.”
You hang up before he can respond, and he slumps on the chair, leaning his forehead on his phone. He would have preferred that you curse at him, scream, or do something that was deserving. Hearing the deflated joy that left your voice felt like a punch in the gut. Mingyu knows that you have been trying to spend time together for months, and he has just been too busy. He’s a shitty partner; he knows that. But he loves you more than anything, and he hopes he can convey that to you tonight.
It’s a quarter before 8, and Mingyu sits near the end of a long table surrounded by coworkers at the steakhouse who are half a glass too deep into company-sponsored alcohol. He sips his whisky slowly, looking at his phone every few minutes, hoping to see a notification from you, whether it's a text or a phone call. Instead, he just sees his lockscreen of you and him, kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower in Paris. The guilt was building in his chest.
Wonwoo mouths if he is good from across the table, and he nods solemnly, finishing the last of his whiskey in his cup.
“Are we done?” Chloe asks smoothly, pointing at your empty cup. “Do you want some more?”
“No, boss, I’m good,” he shook his head. “I still have to get home in one piece.”
“On a Friday night?” she chuckles, her blouse brushing against his forearm. “Surely you can let loose for a little bit, right?”
“Eh—”
“To the man of the hour,” she raises her glass. “I meant what I said earlier. You carried that project with elegance. And vision.”
“Thank you,” he replies, trying to keep it light. “It was a team effort.”
Chloe smiles, eyes locking on his. “Don’t be modest. You’ve got more than talent, Mingyu. You’ve got presence.”
Mingyu lets out a chuckle, playing with his glass. “My girlfriend at home thinks the same thing.”
He notices her falter, just for a moment, scooting back slightly and knocking back another glass of wine. “Lucky her.”
“Lucky me, actually,” Mingyu says absentmindedly.
“You never talk about your girlfriend, Mingyu,” his colleague, Hana, chimes in. “Can we see a picture of her?”
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone, showing another picture of you before handing it over. It was a picture he took of you last summer when you weren’t looking. You walked barefoot in the sand, walking towards the water towards a hidden cove that he discovered randomly on a work project. You looked relaxed, carefree, and at peace. It’s his favorite version of you.
“God, Mingyu, she is beautiful,” Hana says, blinking. “How long have you been together?”
Mingyu hesitates, his thumb still on the screen, watching the light of the image flicker in the reflection of his glass. “Almost 10 years. We met in college.”
The number tastes heavier than he expected. He’s shared his life with you for over 10 years. The good, the bad, and sometimes ugly.
“That’s a long time,” Hana acknowledges, handing the phone back. “It must be nice, having someone in your life for that long.”
“It’s the best,” Mingyu reminisces. “She is the best.”
He meant every word. You are the best thing that has ever happened to him. Ever since you walked into the Survey of Art History in college, he couldn’t take his eyes off you. He noticed the way you tapped your pencil on your lip when you were lost in thought or the way your nose wiggled when you laughed. He wanted to know you and be in your orbit one way or another. You were mesmerizing to him; the Galatea to his Pygmalion. When he finally worked up the nerve to talk to you and started hanging out more, he even told you that. You didn’t laugh or think he was being silly or melodramatic. Instead, you kissed him heartfeltedly, and told him you felt the connection too.
You always believed in him, saw him for who he was, and he would be crazy to let you slip away from him.
Mingyu and Wonwoo exchange a glance, unspoken words from his best friend that only meant one thing: Go home to your girl.
“I’m going to head out, guys,” Mingyu announces, pushing out his chair and grabbing his coat. “Thank you for treating us, Chloe. And great job, everyone. Have a good weekend.”
There are a few scattered goodbyes as he walks out the door, Chloe not saying anything but watching him with unreadable eyes. Outside, the night air is cool, a light breeze brushing his cheeks as he unlocks his car. He checks the time—8:06 PM. He taps open his messages and sends one to you:
Dinner rang later than I thought. Be there soon. I love you.
He puts the phone down, starts the car, and pulls away from the glowing steakhouse windows—chasing, for once, the thing that matters most.
It’s after nine, and you finally decide to stop waiting for him, resolving to shower and go to bed. You still cooked his favorite meal, braised ribs, hoping that he would somehow come home early, and you could finally talk. Be centered with one another. Figure out what is going on in that head of his. But once again, you are left alone, having to pick up the pieces of your already fragile relationship.
Where did you go wrong? This isn’t the Mingyu you fell in love with, or the life you both promised to each other. You used to talk to each other, hold hands just because, kiss because he wanted to feel his lips against yours, or touch in the ways you both craved. Did you do something wrong? Are you not pretty enough? Is there someone else who is taking up the space in his heart that was supposed to be yours? You feel the crevice of your heart break at the very thought.
With a resigned breath, you gathered the leftover food, its fragrant steam curling upward as you carefully ladled it into neat containers. You glanced at the empty chair across the table, imagining him there. With gentle hands, you set aside a portion just for him, wrapping it in a colorful napkin, your fingers lingering for a moment over the fabric. Maybe he’ll see your sincerity then, or at least appreciate that you care about him enough to make sure he eats every day.
Mingyu used to cook for you all the time, and you still remember the first meal he prepared for you. You love pasta, and one day, you told him that your favorite meal was something simple: spaghetti and meatballs. You're a hopeless romantic; you’ve seen Lady and the Tramp a thousand times, and as a little girl, you always wanted to experience a love like that. You told Mingyu about it, who thought it was adorable, and you didn’t think much of it. But the next weekend, he invited you over to his place and made your childhood dream come true—a candlelight dinner with spaghetti and meatballs, with the movie playing on the screen for you to watch when you were finished.
You fell in love with him that night.
You wish you could get back to that.
The bathroom light casts a faint glow when you walk into your bedroom, a reminder that you forgot to turn it off earlier when you came home. You look at your bed, spacious and yet empty, mirroring the way you’ve been feeling lately. You let out a low laugh, finding humor in the irony of this situation. As much as you want it to be, this house is not a home.
You turn on the shower, letting it be as hot as you can handle, as you slowly slip out of your clothes. Stepping into the stall, you stand under the water with your eyes closed, letting it hit your skin, allowing it to drown out the loud thoughts in your head and the pounding of your heart in your ears. You were born in the summer, and you have always felt a deep connection to water, especially the ocean. For the first time today, you experienced a sense of peace.
Slowly opening your eyes, you are met with a familiar figure unbuttoning a light blue shirt and letting it fall to the floor. Rubbing your eyes softly, your vision clears, and you confront the source of your heartache.
“Mingyu,” you breathe. “I thought I was expecting you later.”
“I came as soon as I could,” he says, continuing to undress. “The dinner ran longer than I thought it would.”
“That seems to be a recurring theme lately,” you mutter. You grab the soap and start to lather, washing over your body. “I made you dinner anyway. You can take it with you to work tomorrow.”
Mingyu pauses, your icy demeanor catching him off guard as you intended. You turn your back towards him, attempting to finish your shower without breaking down. You hear the door open, and you feel his presence and warmth wrapped around your waist. He kisses your neck, holding on to you like his life were on the line. This is the closet that you've been in together in months, and your walls are tumbling down. You miss it, crave it, and you slowly feel the sadness uncurling from your skin.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he says tenderly. “I’ve been a shitty boyfriend, and you don’t deserve that.”
“You’re awfully perceptive,” you sniff, holding back your tears. “A simple sorry doesn’t fix things. Mingyu. I’m tired.”
“Baby, I know,” he agrees, turning you around to face him. “I’ve been caught up at work, working long hours, trying to get this promotion, and I know I haven’t been here much. But once it happens, I will give you the world and everything you want. I love you.”
“Gyu,” you sigh heavily. “It’s not about wanting things. I have things, I can always get things. I want YOU. Our life back, the connection we used to have.” You place his hand on your heart, hoping he could feel it beating heavily in his hands. “Don’t you miss this? Miss me? This is the most we have spoken to each other in months. That’s not okay.”
You didn’t intend to cry. You wanted to hold it together and give him a piece of your mind, to unleash the hurt and displeasure that you have felt in this relationship for so long. But instead, you sobbed, letting him hold you close as your water gates broke and your chest heaved. He kisses your forehead and holds you close, his hands caressing your back, giving you the comfort you've wanted for so long. It brings you back to the happier times, when you had him unconditionally.
“I want to get back to us,” you sniffle. “The way we used to be. We used to talk all the time, and we were one and the same. I know you’re busy, and I get that this promotion is important to you, but what happened to us? How do we get that back, Gyu?”
“I will be more present,” Mingyu avows, moving your wet hair from your face. “Anything you want to talk about, I’ll be available. If you need me to be anywhere, I’m there. If you need me to hold you, I’m in your arms. I love you so damn much.”
He kisses your lips unexpectedly, deeply, and with a need that makes your knees buckle. But you kissed him back, returning his vigour with all your might, walking him until his back hits the shower walls. His hands ravenously caress your body, finding your derriere and giving it a nice squeeze. You moan in his mouth, your tongue playing with his as it fuels your carnal desire for him even more.
“I need you, Gyu,” you purr, looking into his eyes. “Please, take me.”
“Tell me what you want, baby,” he breathes. “I’ll do whatever you want.”
He slowly bends down, your breath hitching as he becomes face to face with your creamy center. Lifting your leg over his shoulder, he kisses your thighs, trailing his kisses dangerously close to your nectar, aching for it to be touched.
“Do you want me here?” He whispers, placing a wet kiss on your thigh.
“Mmhmm,” you nod fervently, your hands grabbing his hair.
“Use your words, baby,” he coos, licking his lips. “What do you want?”
“Your mouth, baby. I need it.”
You feel him grin against your thigh, giving it a small bite that feels electric. “Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?”
He blessed you with his lips, kissing your clit with a reverence that made your entire body jolt. The sensation is overwhelming, not just because of the way he is touching you, but because of how present he is. How his eyes stay locked on yours, how his hands grip your thighs, his nails slightly digging into your skin like he was afraid you'd disappear if he let go.
Soft moans escape your lips, your fingers curling in his hair, grounding yourself in him — in the warmth, the pressure, the way he moves like he knows every part of you.
Your head tipped back as he gave you more, his tongue lapping your juices with no rush, like he has all the time in the world to unravel you.
“Just like that,” you whimper. “Please don’t stop.”
His voice was low, almost a growl. “Never.”
He slips a finger inside of you, watching your eyes roll to the back of your head when he inserts another, your hips slowly whining with the rhythm he sets. Despite this lewd act, he looks at you with love, those puppy dog eyes telling you he’s sorry more than his words can, and he is going to please you until you believe him.
“You look so fucking angelic,” he murmurs, teasing your clit with his tongue. “I’d do anything for you, you know that, right?”
You bite your lip, unable to form a sentence as he increases the pace, your arousal coating his fingers as you let out broken moans. You’ve entered into a state of delirium, unable to hold back as the pleasure coils tightly in your stomach, winding and winding until it finally snaps. A cry tears from your throat as you fall over the edge, your back arching off the wall, his name mewls from your lips while he eats you with a fervor that leaves you breathless. He doesn’t stop until he’s satisfied, leaving you with one last lick before he slowly lets down your trembling leg.
When he finally rises, his face is flushed, lips glistening, eyes soft with something that almost feels like love— the way he used to look at you.
“I love you,” he whispers against your lips. “I promise to do better. Don’t give up on me.”
You want to believe him, you really do. Because in this moment, wrapped in the warmth of his body and the aftershocks of pleasure, he feels like the Mingyu you first fell in love with. Present. Gentle. All in.
“Are you still up for giving me some time tonight?” You kiss him softly.
“Of course, babe,” Mingyu says, grabbing your soap and the sponge, rewashing you. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
It was more like you cleaned each other up, the comfort in silence meaning more than any conversation that could have been said. You let yourself hope—just a little, that he actually heard you, and things could change.
He leaves the bathroom before you do, promising to spend some time with you, and you begin your nightly routine, your heart swelling with a little more joy. You keep replaying the moment in the shower, where you connected with him, felt his sincerity, and your love for him deepened. You feel like you finally got your lover back.
It wasn’t even twenty minutes when you finished, coming out of the bathroom expecting him to be sitting up in bed and waiting for you with open arms. But instead, you stare at him with furrowed brows, finding him already asleep, clinging to the pillow that was meant to be yours.
Your heart sinks.
All the hope and ideas that you had for the rest of the night deflate out of you like a balloon. Another promise broken by Mingyu, color you shocked. Shaking your head, you slip into the other side of the bed, the anger you thought you had dissipated earlier rearing its ugly head again, stirring something deep within you. Did he think one fleeting moment where you had to beg to be loved like you wanted was enough to be forgiven and forgotten?
You curl towards the edge of the mattress and press your hands to your ears, trying to drown out the voices in your head, screaming at you to leave. Tonight was supposed to be a turning point, but somehow, it feels like the end.
Part 2
Thank you for reading <3 I would love to know what your thoughts are on this part of the series 🥺
taglist: @asasilentreader @dibidibidismynameisleeknow @shadowkoo @gyupremacy @superpietom @junplusone @cheolifyme @lovetaroandtaemin
