Outlast Characters w/ a Sarcastic Partner
Had this all written out. Tumblr decided to delete it. [Facepalm]
Let's try this again, shall we?
Synopsis: You're dripping with sarcasm, you take nothing seriously, you make jokes here and there, and you love making antagonists angry. The protagonists and antagonists have thoughts about that.
These are meant to be platonic, but they can be seen as romantic if you'd like. Up to you.
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Miles loves it. Yeah, you're both stuck in literal Hell, but also...humour tends to soften the blow of seeing corpses, blood, and in Miles' words, a "guy fucked by a cheese grater". Chris and the nude twins become laughingstocks to you. When Miles lost his fingers, you so casually asked him to "give you a high three". He had to sit down.
Waylon is not a fan. You're both stuck here against your will, and you're making JOKES? And could you maybe not ask the raging cannibal behind you a question regarding human meat and the best sauces that go with it?? He's petrified, and he would have let you take the reins if not for the fact that you walked up to a variant holding a scalpel and made fun of him for its size. "Size matters, dimwit."
Blake's okay with it. As long as you're not eagerly walking up to a cultist to insult their clothing choices, or sarcastically ask if they're on "FarmersOnly.com", he enjoys your humour. It grounds him. You had an absolute HAYDAY when the heretics straddled you both, and you asked if "there was a spa nearby that offered mud baths". He would have laughed, if not for Val sitting on his chest. When you were next he exhaled a laugh, both relieved and amused, however it sounded like a sigh. He did not shy away from mocking the saliva on your face.
Lynn hated it at first, but grew to love it. Her brain was fried due to constant fight or flight, so she was exhausted. She let herself become amused with time. She'd look at you with horror when you mocked a heretic's language or when you questioned Val's mental state, but grew to find you hilarious. She loses it whenever a heretic looks at you, confused as hell.
Trager gets down on one knee and proposes right there. Fuck Miles, he just found an absolute goldmine! You're humorous, you don't give a shit about him, AND you don't fear him? Jokes aside, he finds you amusing, and would love nothing more than to offer you a martini. But you have lessons to learn...that little priest guy has got you confused. Give him your fingers, won't you?
Jeremy either loves it or hates it depending on who's the butt of your cynicism. If you ask him about his "obsession with SuitsRUs", he may become offended. But he'll join in with you if you mock a variant or something.
Eddie is..confused, at first. You complimented his gutting skills, but your voice sounded off, and your body language suggested that you were disgusted. You felt somewhat bad after he got angry over not understanding your jokes, so you toned it down. He'll laugh at your jokes as long they're not too difficult to grasp. And don't mock him when he's angry. That's a literal death wish.
Walrider doesn't care too much. He's too busy Wall Riding and being a menace. But he's the type to mock your movements, much like a mime or something. Silly boy.
Frank Manera cares not for your jokes and humour, he is far too busy chasing and scaring the fuck out of poor variants so they can become his dessert. He is more than confused when you call him "Frank Marinara". Just keep him fed and he'll be your eager audience. But you have to explain that no, you will not literally give him "an arm and a leg to see him chase Chris with his saw". Afterwards, he will grumble and say "he ain't stupid".
Chris is far too determined about killing Walrider to care for humour.
Marta HATES it. She will roll her eyes and ignore your attempts at humour. She hates it. Hates it all to hell. You need to start taking things seriously for once in your life. That's what she thinks. She was told not to kill you, as Knoth says you're important, but she wishes she could at least rip your tongue out. She wishes you'd stop with the "goth" jokes, or the "Hot Topic" jokes. Ugh.
Val, on the other hand, loves it. Mockery towards The New Testament is well deserved, in their honest opinion. Especially if Knoth is the butt of your jokes. They'll join in. I like to think they're somewhat sarcastic themselves. They, also, might become a little hot and bothered.
Laird and Nick don't care for it, mainly because they're confused. It takes Laird a moment to decipher any sarcasm, and once he does, he'll grumble and ignore you. Nick will remain addled. Help him.
