Okay, I know Top Chef doesn't have Gordon Ramsay but we can pretend
32. Cooking for each other and judging each other’s food like they’re on Top Chef
***
“You’re overcooking that meat, Glow-stick,” he noted.
She rolled her eyes. “Look, numb-nuts, I don’t like meat to bleed on my plate.” Glaring at him, she shot back, “And you’re one to talk because you’re burning the Alfredo sauce.”
“Am not,” Jason retorted, though he turned the knob on the over down.
“Are too.”
“Steak is supposed to be tender, not chewy. Well done is chewy, medium rare isn’t.”
“Who the fuck are you?” she asked, throwing her arms in the air. “Gordon Ramsay?!”
He cleared his throat, then mocked in an English accent, “THAT STEAK IS SO RUBBERY YOU COULD USE IT AS A FUCKING TIRE!”
She blinked, then tried to glare at him, but couldn’t help the smile on her lips as she grunted, “That was actually pretty funny.”
Guy nudged Kyle in the ribs one night when they were sitting around a table in a bar. “Wanna see something funny?”
Kyle gazed warily at him. “I’m scared to say yes but too curious to say no.”
“It’s not bad,” he joked, “Just funny as hell.”
“Okay…what is it?”
Guy pulled out his smartphone, fumbling through the apps until he got to the music app, then he clicked on a song and lifted his phone for Kyle to see. “The two of them,” he said, nodding his head at the two siblings dancing together with big grins on their faces. “were pilots. Now, he’s in Chair Force and she was in the Navy, but if there’s one thing that unites pilots more than flying is Top Gun.”
“And they both have Danger Zone as their ringtones.” He clicked the button. “Watch this.”
Highway to the Danger Zone. Gonna take it right into the Danger Zone. Highway to the Danger Zone. Ride into, the Danger Zone~
The two siblings immediately looked down, clacking their foreheads together, and they fell backwards, landing on the floor in a heap, nursing sore tailbones and skulls. A bubble of laughter escaped Kyle and when the two pilots heard it, they glared at him, which only served to make him laugh harder, Guy joining in.
“STOP DOING THAT!” the two of them howled.
Guy grinned at them. “I will when you two jet jockeys change your ringtone to something less obvious.”
Hal harrumphed. “Well, I’m older, so she has to change her ringtone.”
Her eyes widened and she retorted, “Excuse you, I’m the better pilot. You change it.”
“Did you just say you were the better flyer? I think not.”
“You don’t think at all!”
Kyle sighed as his girlfriend got into with her brother. “Nice going, Guy. Now they’re gonna go find an airfield and race.”
Author's Note: I am obsessed with the Blue Lanterns you guys. Like they're legit my favorites. And since blue and green rings work best with one another...here's a story of that happening! Enjoy! -Thorne
The guys were at their wits end against the troop of Yellow Lanterns; which wasn’t a common occurrence—being at their wits end that is, Yellow Lantern attacks were actually fairly common. Kyle winced as another barrage of yellow energy blasts hit the construct he’d formed; the eyes of the other two Lanterns turned to him.
“You good, Kyle?” Guy asked, pressing his own hand to the construct to pour power into it.
He nodded, though the strain was evident on his face. “Yeah, I’m good.” He shut his eyes and forced another surge of power into the construct, keeping it up and around them. “Have a plan yet, John?”
Their leader shot a quick glance from the side. “Hal’s keeping them busy at the moment, but his fly-boy distractions are only going to last for so long.” He looked at them. “We need to—”
“Coming in hot!” They all looked towards their rings at the voice and then Hal darted over the side, grunting when a yellow flash shot him in the side. He sunk down the construct wall. “Okay,” he breathed out in shock. “New plan because distraction’s gone out the window as of now.” He glanced at Guy. “Kick their asses?”
Guy snorted, cracking his fists. “Thought you’d never ask, Jordan.” His green eyes fell on John. “Any big speeches before we go in?”
John merely grinned but before he could speak, a scream pierced from behind the construct wall, and everyone shot each other confused glances because no one had moved or formed a new construct besides the wall guarding them. Kyle warned them as he dropped the barrier and they all saw a blue figure darting between the yellow suited Lanterns.
A nova of aqua shot out from the mysterious person as they flew towards them and they rose, the blue cape billowing around them as they cheekily grinned, “I thought we agreed that the four corpsmen needed a cheerleader?”
Hal matched their smirk. “(Y/N)! What are you doing here!”
She merely raised her hand and cool aura surrounded them as their rings recharged, powers surging to the highest levels without overpowering them. “Well, it seems I’m bailing my big brother and his best friends out of trouble.” (Y/N) turned and raised her hands, surrounding her own body with an aura. “Leave now or face the four corpsmen and a Blue Lantern!”
The fear-wielders practically hissed at her, and she tipped her chin up. “Corpsmen! To me!”
“We’ve so gotta talk about you thinking you’re bigger than us,” Kyle griped, even as he flew to her right just as she’d ordered; she snorted as Hal took her left, Guy and John on either side of the other two men.
“Please, I don’t think, Kyle.” She winked at him. “I hope.” Reaching down, she took Kyle and Hal’s hands. “Mind if I borrow some power?”
They merely smiled in return, and she shut her eyes, drawing deep from the well of hope inside her. She let the power flow evenly between the men holding her hands who in turn took Guy and John’s hands, letting the power even between the five of them.
“In fearful day, in raging night, with strong hearts full, our souls ignite…” The Green Lanterns beside her joined in on the oath, all speaking in unison, mighty and powerful. “When all seems lost in the War of Light, look to the stars—” (Y/N) opened her eyes and they glowed a beautiful blue. “For hope burns bright!”
The cosmos seemed to still as the power exploded from their bodies, and they watched as strong green and blue arcs echoed outwards. The Yellow Lanterns across the expanse of space screamed as the waves hit them and soon, they were turning around and fleeing.
Satisfied that their enemy had been defeated, she let go of their hands and rose a few feet up and away from them, a mile-long grin on her face. “Now that that’s over with…how about we go back to Coast City and hit a bar?”
Each of them smiled and nodded at the idea, when suddenly Kyle pointed. “(Y/N) look out!”
She barely had time to spin around when the space around her warped and a Yellow Lantern came into sight. A gasp escaped her as they thrust out the construct blade in their hand into her gut and she bent forward. The men around her shouted and instantly the enemy was being yanked off her, probably being pummeled into a pulp, but all she was concerned about was the fizzling blade that disappeared from her gut.
Someone put their hand against her stomach, and she collapsed into their arms, realizing it was Kyle. “Hey, I’ve got you,” he worried, pressing tight to her abdomen. “You’re going to be okay, (Y/N).”
“Don’t get blood on your suit,” she joked, and he frowned at her, concentrating hard to heal the wound.
“Don’t make me laugh right now. This is serious.” He gazed into her eyes, whispering, “I can’t lose you.”
(Y/N) took his hand and forced him to look into her eyes. “Kyle Rayner, you needn’t be afraid when I’m here. Even if I’m wounded.” She smiled and leaned forward, pressing her forehead to his. “Fear is merely the belief of imminent demise.” She shut her eyes and exhaled, the pulsing blue aura coming again as they held each other. “Hope, however, is the belief of imminent success. And I will always believe that.”
The aura was blinding and even the other men had to shield their eyes as it grew brighter and brighter, lasting for what seemed like forever, then it faded and (Y/N) stood before them, healed, as if she’d never experienced the wound—though her suit was new.
A deep blue, off the shoulder, long-sleeved dress/leotard that parted down the middle of her chest and back, turning sheer as it flowed down at her hips. Her gloves had morphed too, now a silver ring around her middle as the white sleeve stretched up her arm; her boots differed too, no longer closed around her feet. Instead, a silver ring was around her second toe, sapphires on the silver chain that wrapped around her ankle and calves. Her head was adorned with a silver and sapphire diadem, and around her neck was a silver band, and in the center was the symbol for the Blue Lanterns, growing bright as the day she received her ring.
(Y/N) opened her eyes and smiled, holding out her hand to Kyle. “Beloved.”
He matched her smile and pulled her into a hug, lifting her in the air—well, the space around them—and breathed, “(Y/N), you look like a goddess.”
“I’m your goddess,” she murmured, placing her hands on his shoulders.
They seemed to be lost in their own little world of love and devotion, and Guy blinked, looking over at John. “It’s so sweet, I almost don’t want to warn them that Hal here is about to blow his afterburner.” John cracked a toothy grin as Hal exploded in anger.
“CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THE FUCK I’M LOOKING AT! BECAUSE IF IT’S ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS AND MY PRECIOUS BABY SISTER I’M LEGITIMATELY GOING TO COMMIT MURDER! QUIT FUCKING LAUGHING GUY! IT’S NOT FUCKING FUNNY, YOU DICK! WAIT! DID YOU FUCKING KNOW ABOUT THIS!”
John rested his hand on Hal’s shoulder. “Hal…everyone knows about Kyle and (Y/N).”
“WHAT?!”
“Yeah, why do you think the two of them always ‘patrol’ together?” Guy asked.
“WELL, I DON’T KNOW! MAYBE BECAUSE OUR RINGS WORK BEST IN THE PRESENCE OF A BLUE RING, GUY! AND MAYBE I JUST ASSUMED THEY WERE SUPPORTING AND ENCOURAGING EACH OTHER!”
Guy snorted. “Yeah, ‘encouraging’. More like fuck—”
Here's an idea! how about person A punches some douchebag right in the face and since it was highly unexpected of them, Person B is left utterly speechless and terrified. (With any of the batboys you want to choose 😁)
His girlfriend was the epitome of pacifism. Which in turn made it awfully surprising that someone as akin to violence as he was, was the man she wanted to be with, but he did have to give her some credit—he found himself turning the other cheek a lot more when it came to minor occurrences. Usually, he’d break their noses and tell them to fuck off.
That being said, watching her lay some douche-bag flat in the middle of a crowded bar after she watched them grab a waitress’ ass, was something he never expected to see.
He blinked as she sat down and picked up the menu, looking through it as if she’d not just KO’d someone in one hit. “Uh…babe?”
She met his gaze, smiling up to her eyes. “Yes Jason?”
“How’d you…how’d you do that?”
“Please,” she coolly brushed off. “I’m the baby of the Jordan family, and the only girl.” Winking, she added, “I may not like violence, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t taught to hold my own.”
Jason suddenly felt hot all over, and he stood, throwing a fifty on the table before dragging her from the booth. “We gotta go home now.”
“Hal, you’re one crazy sonovabitch,” Guy muttered as he steadied the bloody and bruised pilot. “Only your crazy ass would barrel headfirst into something that dangerous.”
“Look who’s talking Mister I-Talk-By-Punching.” Hal’s chuckle dissolved into a groan as he held his side. “Christ, I think I broke a few ribs.”
“You deserve to have broken a few ribs,” John chastised, taking the pilot underneath the other arm; Guy and he walked Hal to the ship where Kyle was waiting. “You almost got yourself killed just now.”
Hal rolled his eyes. “I had it under control.”
“No.” the two Corpsmen blurted in unison, tugging him onto the ship and to the med bay.
***
“Leave me in the med bay while you guys come and gossip.” A voice complained. “What’d I miss?”
They all turned to the entryway of the bridge, scowling as Hal hobbled in, an arm slung across his chest; Kyle frowned. “Hal, you shouldn’t be up, man.”
Hal waved it off with his free hand. “I’m fine. Had worse.”
Guy blinked then looked at John. “Does it ever annoy you how pigheaded he is?”
“He’s a jet jockey,” John retorted, turning back to the expanse of space outside the glass observation window. “They’re historically stubborn.”
“Oh, and warthogs aren’t? There’s like seven wars begging to differ.” Hal griped, nudging himself between Kyle and John. “Guys, seriously. I’m fine.”
Kyle shook his head. “You got swallowed by a giant space monster and then blew yourself out of it.” He observed the pilot. “You’re lucky to have only escaped with a few broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder.”
Hal rolled his eyes. “Okay, moms, I’m fine. Really. I feel great.”
“That’s the hydrocodone talking,” Guy ribbed, nudging John in the side and the two of them broke into chuckles when the pilot frowned.
A fond smile came across Kyle’s face, and he happened to look out the glass window, smile dropping as a bright blue light appeared in the distance and only getting closer and closer. “Uh…guys?” they turned their attention to them and he nodded at the anomaly. “What’s that?”
Immediately their heads swiveled to the window and Hal’s face blanched. “Oh no.”
Before Kyle could ask the blue light phased through the glass and barreled into the pilot. They collapsed to the floor and when the light disappeared, Kyle saw a young woman atop Hal, his free arm pinned behind his back, as she shouted, “Are you some kind of idiot! I get a call from John, and he tells me you’ve played kamikaze again!” she yanked his arm up his back.
Hal cried out in pain. “Uncle!”
Kyle had never seen the man give up a fight so fast. In fact, he’d never seen Hal give up in a fight at all—that was the whole deal about Hal; he didn’t know howto give up.
The woman scowled and let him up, and when Hal climbed to his feet, she suddenly kicked a leg up between his legs and every man’s hands went to their crotch as Hal dropped to his knees and into the fetal position.
“You stupid moron,” she griped. “How many times have I told you to stop acting like you’re immortal.”
Hal’s only reply was a groan and he rolled over. “I had it under control.”
“Do I need to crotch-shot you again?”
“Alright! I’m sorry!” he cried. “Uncle! I bend the knee! I give! I raise the white flag!”
She cocked a brow and glared at him for a moment, then she glanced at John. “Thanks for calling me.” Turning her attention back to Hal, she warned, “Let me get another call from Johnnie like that again, and I’ll plant my blue foot so far up your green ass, the next time you go to the dentist, they’ll pick my toes from between your teeth. You hear me, big brother?”
Hal nodded. “Affirmative Princess.”
Seemingly satisfied, she turned to John and Guy, the angered expression giving way to a joyful one as she pulled them into tight hugs and pressed kisses to their cheeks. She pulled away and looked at Kyle, then pulled him in for a hug and planted a kiss on his cheekbone.
“Good to finally meet you, Kyle. Wish it had been under better circumstances.” The blue power ring on her finger beeped and she looked down at it. “That’s Saint Walker. Gotta fly.” Winking at the others, she rose in a blue glow and phased out of the ship’s window, disappearing in a streak of turquoise.
Kyle was so lost. “What just happened?”
Guy barked a laugh and slung his arm around the younger man’s neck. “That, Kyle, was (Y/N) Jordan, Hal’s younger sister and apparently, the only woman who has his balls in her purse.”
John snorted and Hal griped from the floor, “I’m not afraid of her.”
“Uh huh, sure you’re not, Jordan,” Guy countered. “You only gave in faster this time.” He looked at Kyle, face splitting into a grin as he said, “Oh…what’s this? Are you blushing Rayner? Are you enamored by (Y/N)’s beautiful blueness? Blue Lanterns have that effect on us Green Lanterns.”
Hal’s head cocked up and he pointed at Kyle. “Stay the fuck away from my sister.”
“I didn’t do anything!” Kyle blurted out. “And I’m not blushing!”
John and Guy looked at one another and agreed, “He’s in love.”
For FFF I think “what a bunch of idiots...wait a minute, those are my idiots” would be fun
"What a bunch of idiots...wait a minute, those are my idiots." Idiots will be idiots if left unattended by the brain cell
***
“Hey, look at these guys on the TV screen!” The entire Justice League spun to face the screen, eyes narrowing on the four men in green suits fighting some type of alien.
Recognizing the suits, she put her hands on her hips, snorting, “What a bunch of idiot Green Lanterns.” A flash of green shot out from one of the man’s hands and her humored expression dropped. “Wait a minute…” Shoving Barry out of the way, she got up close to the screen and registered that it was her brother and her friends, gasping, “Oh my God…those are my idiot Green Lanterns.”
Turning on her heel, she sprinted for one of the Zeta Tubes, her blue suit flashing to life. “Oh my God, those are my idiot Green Lanterns in New York. My idiot Green Lanterns are in New York fighting some alien. Oh my God!”
Clark turned to Bruce. “Think we should help her round Hal and his posse up?”
Could you do "thank you for choosing me to be your dad." And "thank you for being my dad."
"Thank you for choosing me to be your dad."/"Thank you for being my dad." You know what I'm soft for? Hal Jordan being a good dad.
***
Hal was a failure when it came to his kid. He paraded around like he knew what it meant to be a good dad, showing off pictures of them, bragging about them—especially in front of Bruce, but the truth is, when Martin died, so did any future of Harold Jordan becoming a parent. Or at least a good dad.
It wasn’t like he was one hundred percent sure the kid was his own. They’d shown up on his doorstep one night with a letter from their mom, explaining they were the product of a one night stand he’d had years ago. A six-year-old kid, alone in the middle of Coast City, abandoned by their only parent they’d known.
He didn’t sleep a wink that night, calling everyone he knew about what you did with a kid. Barry had ended up coming over to help him. The kid loved his best friend. Took to Barry like a fish to water, even calling them Uncle Barry before the night was over and the two men had tucked them in on the couch, cuddled in blankets and speed run stuffed animals of all kinds.
Do you even know who the mother is, Hal?
No clue. All they left was the letter. I…Barry, what am I supposed to do? I can’t raise a kid.
I don’t think you have a choice, Hal. His friend had leveled him with a strong look. That kid needs you.
Turns out, Hal needed them too. They spent the first few months getting used to each other. Hal bought them everything he thought they needed, probably a little too much, but they never asked for anything. Sometimes they asked for hugs or kisses on their head; Hal couldn’t help but feel weak to those.
But that nagging came back after a year or so. He wasn’t there for them when they needed him. He tried to be. Tried to attend all the school performances and PTC’s. But the Corps needed him too and Hal was sure his kid spent more time in his neighbor’s house than they did in his.
One night, they came into his bedroom at two o’clock, and Hal only realized it because they’d woken him up when they’d pressed themselves to his back, pulling the covers up to their chest.
“You okay, kid?” Hal called them ‘kid’. It made him feel like his father.
“Yeah,” they murmured. “I had a bad dream.”
“What about?”
“You died somewhere up there in space.” Their hands tightened in his shirt. “You left me all alone…none of the other Lanterns wanted to look after me.”
That hurt him more than he ever wanted to admit it did. Guy, John, and Kyle loved his kid. Their were the honorary uncles and spent more time arguing which set of shoulders the kid got to sit on whenever they were around. They wanted to sit on Guy’s shoulders and hold John and Kyle’s hands. Hal had the pictures to prove it, and everyone had one.
Hal frowned and turned over, pulling them into his arms like his mom used to do when he crawled into her bed after his dad died. “I’m not going anywhere, kid,” he whispered, kissing their head. “I’ll never, ever, leave you alone. I promise.”
They stayed silent for a few moments and Hal thought they’d drifted off when they said, “You think you’re a bad dad, don’t you?”
He sighed. “I don’t think I’m a bad one…but I know I’m not a great one.”
The kid thought for a moment. “You’re a great one to me, dad.” They said, turning in his arms to hug him.
Hal’s eyes filled with tears, but he choked them back, hugging them tightly. “Thanks for choosing me to be your dad, kid.”
They smiled. “Thanks for being my dad, dad.”
Hal was many things—but he wasn’t a failed father.
