#late night write

[sunrisinguniverse]

currently writing a scene where one of the SRU characters figures out what a mirror is because they've never seen one before. and then their first thought is that they want to see their monstrous appearance, because that's what they've always been called....

my poor baby :(

[definegodliness]

As I am

As through The ashes of gods, so through The dust-to-dust Of anything earthly; From my ring finger Drips Rich palm trickling blood Which I am hoping will turn To a nurturing Ocean. I walk alone, One with all devastation; This realm, lain to waste So to address ever need I have forfeited To live. I walk alone With nothing to show for, And nothing but Blood To Give. I don't cry Anymore; once I did, And I then hoped My tears could turn thirst Quenching river. The cracks in solid ground Just kept widening. It matters little; with every Drip The sands of time Slightly shift, And a vast ocean turns A matter of perspective. I will return here, as I have Been — am — Here; Like this. I walk on, No connection, No chord, attached To any One, living; I should be A ghost, whirling free With the ashes and dust In the wind, But Sometimes I remember Those summer days When were so in love We could not Eat, Or drink, Or even exist Outside each other's embrace, And it matters again; This sauntering forth Where nothing Lives, or Is. I think of you, Who loved me as I am, And I no longer feel spirit Trapped in petrified skin, But alive, And vulnerably Human.

--- 26-5-2024, M.A. Tempels ©

[leahsflwer]

Miles Maitland imagine “I will miss you my dear” smut || Michael Sheen

Warnings: Adult content, smut, not for innocent people 💀, explicit content (words & actions)

Miles Maitland x masc reader ♥️

Miles spotted men from across the room and smiled hurrying over to me with no thought while the others danced around the hospital room. I couldn’t help but flash a smile in return. Miles was so bubbly. He held my hand and suggested I come over with him, but I declined his offer by shaking my head. He was quick to understand and pulled me outside to my car.

He got inside and so did I. He looked down with his glasses on and I couldn’t already tell something was up with him.

I removed his shades and spotted the tears under them, he sweet, soft face was now red and wet from his tears and sniffles.

The sight broke my heart, I immediately held his hand and looked him in the eyes. He was taken back by my sudden touch but eventually smiled and shook his head.

“I’m sorry.. it’s just that I must go back to France. I am not ready to leave you all. Especially you. I’m will miss you my dear” he fake chuckled, I could hear the pain in his voice and it was horrible

“I’ll come with you. I do not care to live here. I’d prefer to be there” I replied

“But your job? You would lose your job that you worked so hard for?” He shook his head

“No. You’re more important than anything in the world. I care upon you, more than some job that I do not even like.” I smiled and lifted his head up by his chin.

He flashed an adorable smile at me with his blue eyes beaming and glossy from his past tears. He was back to the happy Miles I loved. Miles was giving me butterflies from just a simple stare, he was beautiful.

I didn’t think as I leaned over and kissed him. But his lips felt so soft and warm on mine. I was bigger than him so I could easily hold his face like it was a feather.

He climbed over onto my side and sat on my lap, his body felt so soft and fragile, but I held onto his waist and smiled into the kiss. Deepening it and he didn’t even hesitate to let my tongue explore his mouth. The kiss was growing hotter and more needy.

His hips slowly started to grind down on me, causing a groan to escape my mouth. He was not waisting any time and I loved that.

I could feel my cock harden as he continued to grind down on it. He wasn’t being easy on me today so I wouldn’t be easy on him either. He stopped everything and slide down to the car floor and looked up at me with puppy eyes as if he was asking for it.

He grinned and unzipped my pants, pulling them down alongside my boxers. the cold air hitting my shaft made me grip onto the car seat, his warm hand held onto it and slowly pumped it, making me groan.

“Fuck..” I breathed out as he wrapped his mouth around my shaft as much as his pretty mouth could take.

My hand made its way to his black curls and gripped onto them, gently pushing him down further. I could feel him moan at the action sending electric waves throughout my body.

He was making me moan from just a simple blowjob. Usually I was fine by them, but this was different, I’d liked him for a long time so perhaps that’s why it felt so much better. But Miles was good at it, a natural.

Soon I gripped tighter onto his hair and bucked my hips.

“Fuck Miles- I’m gonna- fuck…” I groaned as I released into his warm mouth.

Miles pulled away and swallowed what he could, using he finger to wipe some off him lip and licked it off. He was dirty and it turned me on even more.

He got back up and removed his pants and underwear that was a deep blue. It suited his figure with his perfect hips and those chubby thighs. He sat back on my lap and gently lined himself up at my cock. I was a bit nervous for him to just take it like that, but he seemed happy with it. So as he slowly pushed me inside him I kissed his neck leaving soft kisses and little marks.

“Shit.. you’re so big~” He moaned out and slowly bounced up and down.

He looked so good jumping on my cock like that, I wanted to treat him like a princess and cherish him. It felt so good I thought it was a dream. But his moans were my reminder, those perfect sounds.

It was music to my ears.

[Now.. this was a late night write so I apologise for how bad it is lmao! But enjoy if that’s your cuppa tea? I’m in the process of writing much better imagines ahha]

[harrysgoldenbum]

My Harry

I should be working on my final english paper but my brain is refusing too. This is super unedited, and seeing that I wrote this at 2 am PST I don’t plan on it. I might develop this more... like detail and timeline wise —when it’s not super late and not finals week

Word count: IDK its a short fic though

Warnings: gentle smut? Not very detailed

Anyways I’m trying to get out of a visious loop of writers block so here you go :)

~~~

You are a boxer, and harry had to retire early in his career due to injury and since his leg has never been the same. The two of you met at the same training facility. As your life partner, he has always felt protective toward you regardless how much power your punches hold. For the last year or so your career has taken off and you are finally getting the recognition. since Harry retired, he became a part of your team and is now your trainer. But your last match was not a good match. that was the first time you were knocked out. You healed and moved on and are ready for the next match and to continue your training, but harry isn't. Not after watching you fall onto the mat. He can vividly see the way your body falling on to the mat. the way your eyes wouldn't open and how you body was limp. He remembers it all and most of all he remembers how hopeless he felt because there was nothing he could do. This took a toll on harry mentally and emotionally. He started having nightmares of not being able to help you. Or of how you were injured so badly you never woke up. And every time he would wake up crying and thrashing trying to get to you. And you would wake up with him, concerned. finally he told you that he couldn't watch you get hurt over and over again. because all he sees is the way you fell. how you had no control over your body. how you just we awake one second, then unconscious the next.

 "I love you, I love you so much and it hurts me to see how I couldn't do a single thing to make sure you were going to wake up again. I am not going to tell you to stop. But I can't watch.... I can't watch my soulmate-"

you beg him to work with you and to stick with you. He promises he would support you and nothing would ever stop him from loving you but he needs time. So, Harry's old coach starts training you. But it isn't the same as working with your husband. And since you started doing horrible in matches. Playing sloppy, looking for your man in the crowd. You were unfocused. Then one day, you receive a challenge. A challenge from the same fighter that knocked you out.

Harry didn't like seeing how you looked after each fight. How beaten you were. And you getting that challenge pushed him over the edge. As time had passed, he had changed. He became harder, distant, cold. And you missed him, you missed your husband. But that challenge brought him back into your team. He started training you again. But harder, meaner, for longer hours. He expected you to do better than the best. He expected you to fight through the pain and exhaustion. This continued for a month. And finally, finally you had enough. It was two days before your match and the two of up plus harry's former trainer were outside running. It was and the ground was slick. you slipped and landed on your ass. You stayed in the mud, exhausted. you hear harry sigh in disappointment. "Get up Y/N."

Having enough, "NO." you retaliate. 

"NO? You have the biggest match of your career in two days and you want to give up now?" Angrily, you rise and get in his face.

"I am not giving up, but I am done running, jumping, punching, and kicking for the next two days." You storm off and walk back home. By the time you get back Harry is waiting for you in the living room in his wet clothes. He stands by fire lit in the fireplace. The looks in his eyes are haunting. He opens to speak, but you beat him to it. "I want to spend the next days with you Harry. Not trainer Harry, not cold and distant Harry. I want to spend the next two days with my Harry. My husband Harry." You are standing in front of him determined to win this argument.

He releases a shaky breath and crushes his lips to yours. His hands run against your body urgently. desperately. your hands weave into his wet locks, you press your chest to his and kiss back just as fierce. the two of your struggle up the stairs only to fall ungracefully. You are hovering over him, refusing to loose contact with his lips. Your hands go to his wet shirt, pealing it off his body, throwing it over the railing it falls with a heavy sound. A hopeful moan falls from your lips. You guide his hands under your shirt, hoping he will take if off your body. And he doesn't disappoint.

He drags it off you slowly, and as your skin is exposed to him he presses a needy kiss against it. Once the top is over your head, he leans back to take you in. Grabbing your thighs, he gets up from the stairs and climbs up. He presses your back against the closed bedroom door. A desperate moan comes out from his chest. With your ankles locked against his ass, he lets go of you and peels the sports bra off your chest. His hands caress your perky tits. Your head falls back as he teases you nipple. Fumbling blindly your cry out in joy when you find the doorknob and are able to open the door. walking to the mattress, he gently places you on the soft sheets, not caring how wet and muddy the two of you are. He falls on top of you and kisses your swollen lips. He slowly travels lower and presses sweet kisses against your nipples. before moving lower and lower until he reaches the elastic band to your sweats. He hooks his fingers onto the elastic and he take the last articles of clothing off you. His jade green eyes are lit with fire has he gazes up at you. the his head dips down and his tongue is at your core. Giving you the best possible pleasure possible. He slurps, flicks, and sucks. Your hips come off the bed. Hooking his arms around your thighs, he anchors your to him and the bed. You come hard and fast. Harry presses kisses on your center. you guide him back up toward you. "I missed you," you whisper against his lips, tasting yourself on him.

"I missed you too. Missed you so much" He tells you back. Harry drops his head and presses baby soft kisses against your neck. He aligns himself to you and eases in slowly. It has been a while for the both of you. The last time the two of you were intimate was a couple months ago. Your muscles burn as he stretches you. Harry's jaw tightens as he tries to remain in control.

Once you are comfortable, and have gotten use to the feeling of him in you, roll your hips into his. Causing a groan to escape from both of you. Harry's eyes close for a moment taking in the pleasure of being in you again. Opening them he rocks into you slowly at first, then desperation takes over. His speed starts to pick up and you follow. It is hard, fast, almost savage like and you love every moment of it.

He pulls you up with him. you straddle him while he is on his knees thrusting into you. His forhead is pressed against your shoulder and Harry watches you take him. Your head is thrown back in pleasure. "Im close baby, so close. Come with me yeah?" Harry speaks against your skin. Your fingers dig into his shoulders and your entire body tightens. You scream his name and a few tears leak out from your eyes. You cling to him as he shoots his load onto you. Harry holds you tightly against him.

As the two of you slowly reenter your bodies, Harry falls forward. You land on your back, and he rolls off to your side. His arm under you head, while the other lays across your stomach. Your eyes start to shut and with a content sigh from the both of you, you whisper a soft and sweet "I love you" and drift off.

~~~~~~~~

My Works

~~~~~~~~

tag list: @romancenovelsandnetflix @berrynarrybanana @fromyourstrulyh @soullikestyles

[aajaywrites]

random idea. anyone want to plot with you over discord or kik?

MxF 

I was thinking about an urban 1x1 with a ton of angst and drama, where you have muse a who is a sweet, studious college student that is for whatever reason having financial issues and muse b who is a bad boy, rebellious, just fucking..toxic and prob sells drugs and the two become unlikely roommates, only because its cheaper to get an apartment w/ a roommate versus solo bc its like 1000 for rent in the city. ahhh. something like this but i’m open to open ideas. 

anywho, don’t be a stranger: 

discord: ajwrites#0338

[sweetestlamb]

Teenage Dream- All I Want For Christmas Is You (Christmas Finale)

Summary: Mun-yeong gives Gang-tae his gift. 

Author notes: Sorry for the wait I just have a sickness fanfictioniatis, there's no known cure. Instead of writing updates I just start writing new stories. Opps.  I wrote this mentally for days but couldn’t bring myself to actually type it, sorry if it seems rushed I have a jam packed schedule this week so I wrote this before bed. For @truccieeboo​ and all the Moonmun lovers who have stuck with me, I appreciate you all. IDK when I’ll write IOTNBO again or when inspiration will hit but writing them again was a delight. 

"You love her don't you?" His head jerks at his brother's matter-of-fact tone as he laces up his winter boots, hat snug on his thick unruly dark tresses and scarf wound tight around his neck. His mother was adamant about him dressing warmly, it was endearing most times. Annoying others. 

He chokes on his shock, stuttering around his tongue before peering deeply into the chipped wooden floor, brazen ways all but melted away in front of his older brother. It's one thing to utter those words to Mun-yeong. It's a completely different beast to admit that to his family, they might inquiry why and then he'll have to regal the many reasons his heart beats for her.

"You know ignoring me won't make me disappear right? I'm still here. Plus it wasn't a question." Sang-tae smirks at him, one eyebrow quirked in amusement at his tangible discomfort. "Just keep being there for her. Mom considers her a daughter at this point, so she's stuck with us. Maybe tell her how you feel."

He can feel the heat of his brother's eyes on his downturned head and he squirms under the persistent attention before Sang-tae exclaims, "What? You already told her. Wow. Are you still my little brother? I'm impressed."

Finally he speaks, "I couldn't keep it a secret. She needs so much love big brother, I just want to...." He falters, too many words on the tip of his tongue. I want to love her forever. I want to give her everything. I want to be the reason she smiles. But his brother must read his face because he claps him on the shoulder gruffly before dragging him into an one armed hugged.

"You're all grown up."

He feels small in Sang-tae's arms but he grips tighter before drawing away and throwing a wave at his brother. He doesn't want to keep her waiting any longer.

Not one second more. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Mun-yeong?" He calls out to her as he pushes his way into the lavish space, she'd left the door open for him, he grins at the beautifully decorated tree heart warm at the memory of all them right here just days ago, that gorgeous smile on her face. He's never seen her shine her bright, they didn't even need the star on the top of the tree. It paled in comparison to her luminance.

He closes the door behind himself. Toeing off his snow dusted boots and slipping his snow bitten feet into plush house slippers, deep green with grey fur lining. He casually walks to her fridge storing all the food and side dishes his mother had forced him on, demanding that they "fatten" her up. In his eyes she was already perfect in every way but he found a special satisfaction in watching her eat, knowing that she was enjoying what he'd provided. It made his pride curl up and roar, lick its paw and roll over like a big cat. 

"Mun-yeon--"

The room darkens suddenly leaving him in near darkness, the sun setting hours ago. The bus had taken longer than he'd anticipated and despite Mun-yeong's insistence that he could call Sang-in, he couldn't bring himself to bother the driver. Gang-tae was not his responsibility after all, plus anyone could see that they had a bond far more special than driver and passenger. It felt like an intrusion on their relationship. 

He spins around in confusion, squinting in the inky blackness before a dim light catches his eyes in the corner of the room.

"You're here."

Her voice is smoky clouds on a dark day, clinging to his skin and leaving him tender.

"What... I- you...wow."

He eloquently responds to her statement as she steps closer to him, twinkling with each step soft clinks with each step as the lights knock into each other.

It's hard to breathe.

She's wrapped in white Christmas lights that start at her sharp collarbone and twist and weave to her dainty ankles, lights illuminating each inch of her near naked skin, bits of lace peek out through the lights and he gasps for breath as he watches her closing in on him. A big red bow sits atop her perfectly straight bob strands tickling her collarbones, matching lipstick coats her pert lips that are curved in a feline smile.

"Merry Christmas, Moon Gang-tae."

His legs are weak as he grabs the arm of the humongous couch, putting his full weight on the steadying object. Before sitting on the soft cushions but his eyes never leave his...gift. Her can't look away, she is the sun and despite knowing the dangers of staring his eyes are reckless, raking up and down her figure. Hungrily. Desperately. Terrified.

"Mun-yeong." He breathes out heavily, fists twisted in the cushion of the couch. Close to ripping the material into smithereens. 

"Are you ready for your gift?" She asks with a cute head tilt, she sashays her way before she's standing into the gap between his legs.

Before he can verbally answer she places one finger on his lips. "Shhhh. You don't need to answer. Let me say thank you for everything you've done."

"You have nothi--"

She cuts him off by sitting on his left leg, lights pressing into his thigh but he's too blinded by her beauty up close to even process the pain. She gently grabs his face, staring him dead in his eyes, twin pools of affection and promises beyond their years.

When she kisses him starburst behind his eyelids, her mouth sweet like hot chocolate as he immediately reacts to the coaxing of her nimble tongue. She tugs at his hat before throwing it across the room, and suddenly he's being devoured; her tongue on his neck, then curled around his earlobe then back to his chin and licking back into his soft gaping mouth.

He almost jolts out of his seat when she grabs his cock without preamble, sure hand wrapped around his leaking head through his pants as he unconsciously thrusts into her hands, guttural moans loud in the silence of the room.

"Mun-yeong ahhhh uhn!"

He can't control his hips as they surge forward meeting her stroke for stroke, before the metallic pull of his zipper permeates the room and she grips his naked skin through the slit in his boxers.

He's about to lose his mind.

But before that he draws away, taking three deep calming breaths. Much to her visible annoyance.

He tugs her hand away from his aching cock, his body screaming at him the whole time.

With a raw throat he whispers, "We don't have to do this. This isn't why I did everything I did. You don't owe me anything. Just holding you is enough."

Her eyes glisten as he holds her gaze, her bottom lip trembling minutely before she straightens up tugging at his collar until they are mere centimeters apart.

"Gang-tae." Her voice quakes and he can't help but drag her into a tight embrace, lights be damned he'll take all the pain in exchange for her in his arms. "Gang-tae, why did you do this to me?"

His brows lift in question but she continues to tremble in the bridge of his neck, softly sniffling now. Breaking his heart piece by piece. 

"Don't cry. Don't ever cry."

He rocks her back and forth, soothing hand stroking up and down her back. Trying to rub away the shaking in her bones. 

"Why did you make me love you? Why would you do this? How am I supposed to let you go?"

He stiffens at her words. Flabbergasted. Shell shocked. Love. What? He'd made her do what? Love him? How?

Palming her neck he softly pulls her away, urgently needed confirmation that his ears aren't deceiving him. He'd never expected her to say those words back to him so soon, he'd seen just how spooked she'd been when he'd said them to her. He thought those words were to never be uttered again and he would keep them locked in the crevice of his mind until she was ready. 

"You what?" He begs her to repeat, tongue heavy in his desert dry mouth.

She tries to hide in his neck once more but he maneuvers them until she's spread on the couch on her back as he looms over her, the lights dancing across her skin and flashing in his eyes. Teasing.

"Please." He pleads, pride thrown away. He's sacrificed anything for this moment.

She looks up at him shyly, the antithesis of his girlfriend he almost chuckles at the discrepancy. But this moment is too tight. Too charged, if he laughs he might shatter like crystals.

He runs a finger down her clavicle, taking a moment to appreciate the titillating vision in front of him. Her tight nipples are peeking through the lights wrapped around her heaving chest, he instinctively grabs at the tight peaks twisting them harshly. She jumps at his rough treatment hissing while glaring at him.

"You heard me!"

There's his she-devil. He smiles at the return of her flame.

Before he can continue she pushes him away, his back colliding with the armrest of the couch as he looks at her with bewildered eyes. More than slightly turned on. His cock dances in his too tight jeans.

She slinks off the couch, walking across the room before stopping in front of the tree. She finally looks back at him over her thin shoulder. Eyes so dark her pupils have all but disappeared.

"Gang-tae."

He waits with bated breath. Will she finally say the words he wants to hear? He will remember them until the day he can hear no more, until the day his spirit leaves this realm. He leans forward, desperately needing her to continue speaking. He nods at her. Please.

She falls to the ground in a graceful tumble of limbs before curling a finger at him.

"Make love to me."

His heart skips a beat, then pounds like a jackhammer in his chest. He looks at her, lost.

But she isn't finished, "Please. I need you. Take me, everything I am belongs to you."

He chokes out a grunt before falling to his knees and crawling slowly to her, heart thumping with each inch he closes until she's within reach and they both lunge clashing in a tangle of tongue, tight grips and immeasurable desire. She kisses him like this is their last moment, nails sharp on his neck as she claws at his nape. While he sucks at the wet pink appendage, humming as she moans into his mouth. Everything is sweltering hot, the lights on her body singing at his skin now. He welcomes the pain, it's grounding.

Mun-yeong rips away suddenly, panting hard looking him deep in the eyes, searching for something before catching his chin in her hand. She smiles at him, it's so beautiful it aches.

"I love you."

His world breaks apart for a moment before stitching itself back together, hot streaks roll down his smooth cheeks. She wipes at the stray tears gently tsking at him.

"You're such a baby." She holds him like he's something precious and his skin feels pulled too thin but she rocks him now, holding on for dear life.

"Gang-tae. I want you. I don't want to stop tonight."

Without him even a second to process much less respond to her command, she leans back onto a fluffy rug he hadn't noticed on the ground before, cushioning her descent.

Then further annihilating his synapses she rolls over onto her stomach, looking at him with beckoning eyes.

"I want it like this."

At her seductive words he snaps to attention, eyes roving over the delicate round curve of her ass arched into the air. The lights sinking into the skin of her cheeks and he wants that to his finger tips so without hesitation he reaches out and grabs her tight cheeks, spreading them a little with his rough palming.

He knees his way over until their bodies slot together, grinding his aching hard erection onto her ass avoiding the lights to find soft skin and simultaneously he palms her breasts, hardening at her high pitched moans as she rocks forth into his hands and then earnestly back into his cock, desperate for both sensations.

Her sounds ignite his fire and he grips her tighter, spreading her legs with his knee before thrusting his cock head on into her cloth covered center, wet squelch ringing in his ears at the impact. They both hiss and begin frantically slapping each other, the thin slit of her panties the only thing stopping their ultimate connection.

Ripping at the lights and her panties, he tears the soft lace and watches as her pussy is bared to his hungry gaze the lights dazzling around her soft pinkness, calling to him. Fuck me. Fuck me.

"Gang-tae. Gang-tae! Stop teasing fuck me!"

Oh. Perhaps that wasn't his subconscious.

Pulling a condom from his wallet, willing himself not to be embarrassed. He'll find a way to thank his brother for forcing him to carry them. But now isn't the time to think about anyone but the magnificent creature beneath him.

Before he can tear the condom open with his shaking hands, she reaches behind to snatch his hand and guide it to her soaking wet opening, his index fingers sinks in without any resistance at all. His cock cries at the implications, ready to be submerged. Drown in her ocean. 

"You don't need to be gentle. I've done this before."

He freezes at that admittance, reality dousing him like a bucket of ice cold water. Of course. He wasn't her first, that shouldn't be shocking. She was gorgeous and probably had many boyfriends before him. It wasn't a big deal. He didn't care.

......He shouldn't care. It didn't make this any less special. She loved him. And he her.

But he can't move. Imagining a faceless man in his place, touching her the way he'd thought he'd only touched her.

"Gang-tae!"

He snaps out of his thoughts, his fingers are no longer in her tempting heat. They are still in front of him now. Stagnant. 

"What's wrong? Why did you stop?" She asks him, looking back at him in confusion and he reaches for the condom but it falls from his grasp and he can't control the jealousy that bubbles up. He can’t stop the bitter words from flying out of his lips, he’s hurt. 

"I thought we were each other's firsts." He bites out, feeling small and stupid. He has no reason to be upset she'd never told him that, he'd simply assumed and now he was disappointing himself. He was ruining everything.

"Idiot." He nods in agreement, he is an idiot for getting upset about something like that. "You are my first for everything. I just meant touching myself, what do you think only boys masturbate? With you for a boyfriend I had to unless I wanted to go insane, you never wanted to do anything. Do you know how horny I am all the time?"

Oh.

He can't suppress the blinding smile that etches across his face and she rolls her eyes at him.

"I better be your first. I'll kill anyone who touched you before."

He chuckles at her dark promise, nodding his head. As if that's something she has to worry about. Nobody has ever wanted him before her and now there will never be anyone after her. 

"Who else would there be?"

Without realizing it she has worked the condom down his thick length and he hisses at her hand on his heated skin.

"You were taking too long." She answers rocking back into him and his body takes over, hips snapping forward before the head of his cock swipes at her entrance and she sucks in a deep breath and he captures that moment, plunging in, pausing to let her adjust before pulling the lights wrapped around her waist and yanking her back the meet his thrust. She wails at the movement and an apology is on the tip of his tongue before he hears, "More! More! Don't stop!"

He drags her up by her shoulders until they are glued together, sweat slick skin rubbing each time he withdraws only to screw up deeper and harder, she's bouncing back into his thrusts little oh's and uh's invading his senses until he feels like a mad man. He pulls out completely, flipping her over onto her back, her hair spread around her ruby red face, eyes heavy from lust. He wants to see the first time he makes her come. Wants her to see him too. To see and be seen. 

He rubs two fingers at her pearled clit and she yelps loudly, she's so wet it drenches his fingers and he needs to be back in there feeling her from the inside out. Eyes locked on her he thrusts back in, grunting as her legs wrap around his waist pulling him ever deeper.

He's never felt anything as good as this, nothing in his life as made him feel this complete. She is more than he deserves but she chose him. He's the one who gets to be with her, make love to her. The one she loves.

"I love you."

The words fall out of his mouth and he can't stop the tumble of words as he rides her, declarations punctuating each thrust as he slams into her tight heat once, twice, thrice as she tightens around him and a hard rapid swipe of his thumb down her engorged button makes her jump in his arms as if electrocuted before she starts moaning loudly and her walls clamp down on his cock so tightly he can't move and he shoots off, head dizzy and heart exploding.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

He feels like a pool of jelly on the ground butt naked save his socks but she's already nuzzling into his neck and talking about another round. He just hums in acquiescence too worn out to argue, his toes are still uncurling. 

"Wait here. I'll get your present."

He blinks at her in surprise but says nothing as she darts off in her birthday suit, thoroughly enjoying the sight.

She presses a box into his hand when she returns and he clumsily lifts himself from the ground, accepting the box.

"I thought you were my gift."

"I was but I got you another gift too. I'm rich I can do both." She shrugs eying him with the gift excitedly.

He chuckles at her, spoiled princess. He wouldn't have her any other way honestly. He carefully unwraps the perfectly wrapped gift before his eyes bug out.

"It's too expensive." He looks down at the phone, brand new and gleaming definitely not something his mother would ever be able to afford for him. They always got a few generations behind when they went on sale, it was practical. He'd literally never owned a phone that was the latest model. Other kids had been quick to point that out, chuckling about his "cheap old relic." But he didn’t care knowing how hard his mother worked for everything they had, he would never make her think that he was wanting. That he didn’t appreciate everything she did for him. 

"I can't take it."

She closes the space between them.

"You're taking it. Your old phone is broken and I need to be able to call you. Stop worrying about money. You've given me so much more."

He can't find any words but he tugs her into his arms, pressing a kiss against her temple. "Thank you."

"Oh and take this too." She says nonchalantly as she tosses something small at him.

It's a key.

He stares at it long and hard. Looks up at her then back at the key.

"Mun-yeong." He releases tearfully but she shakes her head.

"I want you to come whenever you want. I want you here all the time."

He knows what it means for her to give him this key, to allow him into her world. She's not promising she'll never push him away or that she'll never hide again but she's giving him the means to let himself in, she's placing her trust in him and he'll never take it for granted.

Before he can embarrass himself further he reaches for his discarded jeans, his gift can't begin to compare but he tugs the box from his back pocket nonetheless, watching her eyes light up like the broken strings no longer wrapped around her slim figure. He'll never be able to look at Christmas lights without getting aroused again. Damn. 

"Here."

She takes the champagne colored box from him and unwraps it viciously, paper laying in shreds around them.

"Oh Gang-tae." He watches as she strokes the silver chain and the delicate pendant at the end, a simple heart with an infinity ring looped on top of the curve of the heart. The diamonds glimmer in the soft lighting, her tears glisten as they cascade onto the sparkling stones.

He reaches out to hold her shaking hands, wiping the tears that fall from her tightly squeezed eyes. "My heart belongs to you. Today, tomorrow and for infinity. Mun-yeong, I want you to be my infinity."

They're too young he knows that logically. He can't make these kind of  promises, forever is a long way in the future but when he looks into her eyes forever is right here and right now.

He has to hold onto it.

With all his might.

[allthecolorsofourlove]

i hurt.

i can’t explain this to you or anyone else, i don’t think, but i hurt.

my nose is bleeding and the shit drips onto my white shirt, staining the front. my eyes are stinging. my knuckles are bruised. i don’t want to do this anymore.

the bandage clumsily layed up over my jawline and onto my cheek is peeling at a corner. my mouth tastes like salt and iron and sweet tea and mint and no matter how many teeth i spit onto the ground it lingers. i am full of hate and sadness and pain.

the salt continues from my tongue and into a circle at my feet, walls reaching the sky invisible to anyone but me, i am trapped by perfume and downy soft detergent and someone i don’t even love.

im trapped by words and meaningless action and scars that shouldn’t be mine.

my nose is still bleeding. i can’t get it to stop.

it begins to rain. you’d think that blood would begin to wash from linen.

it doesn’t.

i shake and scrape at the minerals below me. nothing budges. i scream, a pained and bitter thing, a cry into a void that can’t cry back. the howl echos off of brick and mortar and slick wet stone and i crumple. i am defeated by you.

i can’t even begin to try and heal. i don’t think i could even try and stand.

(there’s a puddle right by my knees. in it i see the reflection of a fear riddled dyke. the bags under his eyes are so heavy. his face is wet. i reach out to touch him and the glass ripples.)

i don’t want to carry the weight of you anymore. i don’t want to feel your hands on my spine. i don’t want you under me. i don’t want you to hate me, i don’t want you back. i don’t miss you. i don’t wish for you in my arms. i don’t want you to suffer. i don’t want you to cry. i don’t need you by my side. i don’t want you anymore. i don’t want you anymore. i don’t want you anymore.

the mantra of a sick man. i am searching for a cure i may never find.

(this all began a year ago.)

the salt begins to crystallize by my left elbow. i will it to creep onto my skin and freeze me where i lay.

i don’t want you anymore.

i don’t want you anymore.

i don’t want you anymore.

the rain doesn’t stop.

(my nose is still bleeding.)

there’s violence in my fists and rage in my throat and if i could i would lay you out in the middle of an empty parking lot and let you fall into harsh pavement and prove to you that you were right. i lack empathy. i do hate you. you ruined me. you ruined me and you stripped me of people i loved and you made me hate something i needed and you fucking ruined me. i hate you. i want to burn you to the ground and laugh in your face at every obstacle you come across and i hope you are never blessed by good things anymore for i will no longer hold your hand through the bad nights and stare at walls and walls of blue and a snip of grey just to make sure you’re okay. i hate you with a feeling that tears through my chest like wildfire and i never want to see you again.

but i don’t.

i wish you good things. i pity you. im sorry you are so hurt on the inside. i did my best to try and make you safe and kiss your face and tell you you were pretty, cus i do still think you are. i tried to tell you the world is not against you and good things will just fall into your lap if you look for them. i hope you’re happy now. i hope feel better soon and i hope you take some of the things i said to heart. i hope you’re working on yourself. i hope you love again.

I just never want it to be me.

(the crystals creep closer to me.)

(i close my eyes.)

(ive already let you go but

i think it’s my turn.)

(i let go.)

(the rain doesn’t stop.)

(my nose is still bleeding.)

(salt fills my mouth and the

whole world, goes silent.)

i don’t want you anymore.

i am waiting until i want myself again.

(until i want to be whole, green and springtime new, red at the cheeks and pupils blown out with the joy of creation and loving and kindness. until i can look in the puddle and see bright hazel and freckles and light. steadfast and assured. i am waiting.)

(in the meantime,

the storm blows through.)

[minibubbles1117]

Somehow,

When I looked into his eyes I,

I never thought that someone

could ever have such strange ways.

The pigment, the softness, sternness.

They made up a color I couldn't have.

They were hurt, yet longing for ambition.

Or maybe success or love.

Perhaps I will never get to know what

he saw; if he saw my eyes the same

as I saw my own or his.

With the frackles or dark turns of light.

But somehow, when I looked at his,

the mystery was beautiful in a way

I cannot explain properly.

k.s