9/22/24
Ok.... so some storytime. This weekend's plans were smashed to hell and if I was in a different mental space I would have fared much much worse. But I have been focusing on boundary making and personal growth so here is what happend:
A friend (SPECIFICALLY THE ONE Who was bugging me earlier this year about buying her diet products incessentaly) had called me in July, while drunk and with her husband on their anniversary. During this call, she asked me what I was really doing to lose the weight and insinuated that I was either a recipient of weight loss surgery or on Ozempic or some other GLP 1.
Mind you - This is a lady that I converse with daily over snapchat. Maybe not full in conversations, but she sees all my sweaty selfies, thoughts on mindset, and sometimes food. Mostly daily sweaty selfies.
The incessant requests to buy her weight loss bullshit this year drove me to the brink of getting off all social medias. How many fucking times do I need to say no. Mind you, this lady has been my friend since 2000.
So she tells me during this call, where she isn't really letting me speak, that she will be here this weekend and I should come hang out with her and her friend. Upon inquiry she divulges it is like a 30 year high school reunion thing.
Now, I want to see her because I feel like our friendship is floundering. She lives far away and I find most social media things to be unbearable.
Why? Weight loss is hard and I do better when I reduce interactions with people, because everything feels really emotionally raw. You also have people who will tell you that whatever you are doing is fucking wrong and you should be doing something else OR people who will see you changing your habits and will fight that tooth and nail. It doesn't really matter what you are doing, people will just foist their opinions on you. It is better to block all that shit out and focus on yourself.
So she invites me to 3rd wheel and I want to go because I want to see her in person. It is a 4 hour drive one way, and requires me to get all my weekend chores done before the weekend, have someone come by to check on my mom, who I am a caregiver for, and someone to watch my dogs. It also conflicts with a group fall cabin camping weekend, which I steadfastlu maintain I cannot attend because I have prior plans.
She writes and says at 5 pm the day before I am supposed to leave that "they are concerned" about the drive and that it is alot of driving for a very short visit. I read that as- Don't come.
I kind of expected this, and even tho the late hour annoyed me, I was able to wrangle myself and say, ok, hope you have a blast.
And I have heard basically nothing from her since.
So here is where I ask: Am I the asshole?
She seems to be giving me the silent treatment for not coming when she basically told me not to come. I think the real reason is- she invited me when she was drunk, to an event she planned with her other friend for their high school reunion, and didn't check with her other friend about inviting someone else.
I feel like she has been experiencing sober regret about inviting me to an event they obviously planned together without me. And she waited 2 months to say OOOOOps! Didn't mean to do that.
The other issue is- I also expected to get uninvited because I was sick and she has an autoimmune disorder.
But that is conjecture and not the reason she gave.
AITA??
