Something I feel isn’t talked about much in the did/osdd community is the guilt of being host. Specifically being host for extended periods of time with minimal to no interaction from anyone on the inside. I’ve been fronting alone in silence for most of this year, it’s been terrible, lonely, and kicking my denial up again. I know they’re still there because every once in a while I get a passing emotion or thought that isn’t mine but it’s gone so fast it’s like it didn’t even happen. I know I should be happy because that means that I’m doing well out here and they trust me to take care of everything but hell it’s stressful and sometimes I need the break. I just I need someone to reach out and tell me I’m not suddenly alone that nothing is wrong and they’re still here.
It’s hard I hate being alone and I really miss them.
Tldr being host too long is complicated and lonely, tell your host you love them/thanks every once in a while
- Moss
