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[ arrested for prank calling police ]

naval officer: you get one phone call

maurice: okay

*naval officer’s phone rings*

#lotf #lord of the flies #lotf shitpost #lotf maurice #god save me #textpost #lotf textpost

LOTF ToD 2

Simon: Okay, truth or dare?

Roger: Truth

Simon: How many hours have you slept this week?

Roger:

Roger: ...Dare

Simon: Go to bed.

Roger: I don’t like this game.

LOTF ToD 1 :)

#hey there queue tea ;)#incorrect quotes #lord of the flies #lotf #lotf shitpost #lotf textpost #lotf roger #lotf simon #lotf rogermon

people can lie and say lord of the flies is about humanities inherently savage nature that we can’t escape. but i know that it’s about nasty rat children from england who hate minorities and probably eat fish eggs on purpose.

#am i wrong #they all suck #no simon is the only good one #simon deserves better #he deserves RIGHTS #rip simon innit #my mine #lord of the flies #lotf #lotf textpost

Ralph: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

Simon: I wake up at 4:30 AM

Ralph:

Ralph: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

#i used this incorrect quote generator and now my drafts r filled with them guys beware #lord of the flies #lotf #lotf incorrect quotes #lotf ralph #lotf simon #lotf shitpost #ralmon #lotf ralmon #lotf textpost #incorrect quotes

jack merridew? more like jack merridont because someone needs to tell him no and that someone is me.

#you’re not a god #stop acting like one #jack merridew #lord of the flies #lotf shitpost #lotf roger #lotf ralph #lotf textpost #lotf percival #lotf piggy #lotf maurice #lotf jack #lotf #william golding

LOTF characters playing Webkinz

Jack - Owns 11 pets and designs all of their rooms the exact same. Mfer makes them all have red rooms, but their fits really slap. His best room is his outdoor area and his favourite pet is his alley cat. Excelled at Cash Cow in a freaky good way. Was also very good at doing the cooking job. Bopped it to Hug a Pug and Where did You get those Stripes.

Ralph - Has an ocean theme in his house and owns only dog webkinz outside of the fucking pink horse. His favourite song was Tiger Tiger and he would dance around his bedroom to it. Also jammed to Prettiest Pink Pony in Town. Played Jumbleberry Fields exclusively and got into very heated debates over which was better with Jack. Went to the playground just to watch his golden dog, Sparky, play on the seesaw for hours.

Simon - 100% has a platypus webkinz, a poodle and also has the pegasus. He would listen to Nine Lives while he played and he was extremely good at making his pets good food. All of his rooms were the outdoors ones, and almost all of his pets had pools. He put them all to sleep as he logged off so that they would get good sleep. Cared for each pet’s needs like nobodies business. He liked Smoothie Moves, but got very stressed out in the faster levels.

Roger - had one pet. Literally only had a wolf named ‘Scarface’ and dressed the wolf in all black. Would go to public parks to beat other people at the games. Was really good at mining for jewels and would brag about it. Listened to ‘I got a lot of Soft Spots for You’ and ‘The Dog with the Bow in her Hair’ as he casually stalked Simon’s dog, who totally had a green bow. He had an internet crush on the fucking poodle and didn’t know it was Simon until yeaRS later but he never told Simon about it because he was like oh sHIT. Would 100% try to swear. Loved Wacky Zingo because he got to hit things and take out his anger.

Piggy - Didn’t play. Mfer was 100% a whore for Club Penguin and would never cheat on it with another shitty 2000s game.

Maurice - Had a Hippo, a Pig, and other assortment of animals. He begged his mother for them and would sit them all in his lap while he played and acted out their voices. He loved the pizzeria game because it reminded him of making pizza with his mother. He claimed to be ‘best friends’ with the dog who works at the boutique because she keeps calling him cool, despite it being an automated response. Totally crushed on that dog btw, he was SMITTEN. He would talk to Jack like “sHe sAiD i wAs coOL.” Somehow always has a fuckton of money. Played Wheel of Wow and chanted along with the opening.

Samneric - Took 30 minute turns playing and racking up fat stacks. They were actually rich beyond measure and owned a whole mansion. Played as only their bunny rabbit named Peter Cottontail. Held the coolest pet parties because say it with me, fucking WEALTHY. Owned a swimming pool ROOM. Loved Cash Cow so much and would play for hOURS. Also had really good luck at Wishing Well 2.