Hello! Hello! Hello! Midnight Zone Fic here. Fat TW (mentions/references to self-harm, suicide, death)
If I should wake before I die, I beg you, brother, my life, will you take?
Echo had taken Tech and Omega on reconnaissance, if it was Echo leading them around, Wrecker had figured they'd be gone for a while. He noticed that Echo needed to get out regularly, staying on Havoc for too long got to Echo's head, he started to feel trapped. So he'd take them on long 'missions.' If Wrecker was honest, he'd thought about talking to Tech about getting a window, a big one, would that help? Wrecker shook his head, no that's a stupid idea. I don't know how to help him. Wrecker let out a groan as he got up, walking towards the cockpit, giving Gonky a pat on the head as he did.
"If I punched a hole in the wall, Tech would get us a window, right?" Wrecker asked Hunter, who had been sitting down in one of the chairs, he was staring up at the sky. Wrecker didn't expect Hunter to turn to look at him, something was wrong. Something had been wrong all day.
"I, don't think that would be Tech's immediate reaction." Hunter spoke slowly. Wrecker was right, Hunter did not look at him and refused to do such. For as Hunter stared up at the night sky, he felt his eyes flooding with tears.
Wrecker looked down, "Yeah... Wanna go lay down?" Wrecker asked, sitting down next to Hunter, he turned his head away, shaking it. Wrecker made a face, "But you should, I'll wait up for them."
"Yeah." Hunter whimpered, frantically wiping his eyes. Wrecker's shoulders slumped when Hunter spoke. His voice was broken and he was shaking.
"Hunter, I can carry you, please, come on," He whispered, checking off a mental checklist: Make yourself small, speak softer, don't force them to do anything. He watched Hunter, "Please, let me hold you, it always works," He pleaded and at last, Hunter swiveled the chair to look at Wrecker. Hunter's eyes were bloodshot, flooded with tears. Wrecker smiled softly and held out his arms.
Hunter stared at him, Wrecker was always so understanding. It drove him nuts. Hunter tried to smile, but he wasn't strong enough to. He reached out his hand and grabbed Wrecker's before closing his eyes and nodding as tears poured down his face. Wrecker's smile grew as he stood up and pulled Hunter to his feet and into a hug. "I love you, buddy," Wrecker whispered, rubbing Hunter's back.
"I love you too-" Hunter cried as he buried his face, the pain in his heart only growing. Right now, Hunter knew, he had never loved Wrecker more, which is why this was going to hurt so much. Hunter kept his face hidden away, his cheeks grew hot and he could feel the world start spinning. He pulled out of the hug, hand on Wrecker's shoulder and then he just stared. Wrecker continued to smile at him. Of course he did. Hunter nodded as he begun to walk to the back room. He really did need to sleep.
Hunter held himself as he walked, trying desperately to calm himself down. But it was no use, there were days when his heart was heavy, but never had his heart ever been so heavy that it burst-
Hunter let out a loud gasp, catching Wrecker's attention. Hunter looked back at him as if he'd been shot, and then Hunter screamed. Wrecker jumped in shock as Hunter let out another loud scream and fell to his knees. Wrecker panicked but it only showed on his face for a moment. Only ever for a moment.
Wrecker ran to Hunter, immediately picking him up off the floor and into his arms then, to Wrecker's surprise, Hunter fought him. Hunter tried to push him away, this pain had grown too unbearable, he couldn't look at Wrecker with all this pain in him. It just made him feel guilty. "Leeme go, please leeme go." Hunter whispered as he tried to push away, but he so weak, he was too weak.
"N-no, no I'm not gonna leave you alone," Wrecker shook his head as he rocked back and forth slightly. Hunter let out a frustrated cry as he gave up, and just started crying. He burst into tears, no longer trying to hold it in. He didn't want this, he didn't want Wrecker here with him, he wanted to be alone, but he couldn't have that, so he cried.
"Wrecker," Hunter was out of breath, panting for air as he continued to scream, "Wrecker I don't wanna be here anymore..."
"I know," Wrecker held him tightly, still rocking slightly. "That's okay, Hunter, but you know I can't let you go." Wrecker spoke, voice barely audible over Hunter's cry that shook the whole ship. Hunter shook his head, 'can't let you go,' that undoubtedly made Hunter's pain worse, Wrecker didn't trust him and refused to abandon him, Hunter hated that. But as Wrecker held him, Hunter's anger never lasted. Now, Wrecker, he wasn't thinking of anything except what he could do to help Hunter. All he could do was hold his brother. It always worked.
But it wasn't working. Hunter tried to force himself away again but Wrecker wasn't going to let him, he couldn't let Hunter be by himself. For better or for worse, Wrecker didn't trust Hunter to be by himself. Not today anyways, all day, Wrecker could tell, his brother was about to shattered, and Wrecker wasn't about to leave Hunter alone with all that glass.
There were good days, when that black little slug hid, for months at a time this slug would sleep, but then there were days, these were the days Wrecker feared most, that this little slug would wake up. Sure, it was always there, even while sleeping, the slug was always there. But when it was awake, eating away at Hunter's heart, Wrecker worried. He worried that one day there wouldn't be anything left except this slug, and he would have failed, he would have lost his brother forever. But his brother would be right in front of him.
He was right in front of him. But this wasn't Hunter, Wrecker wished he could rip that little slug out of his chest and save Hunter from all the pain, but the thing is, that some days, it was easy to forget about. When Hunter's laughing, teasing and making fun, it was so easy for Wrecker to forget that Hunter was in pain. Wrecker hated himself for forgetting, forgetting that even while the sun is shining, there's a storm deep inside his little brother, and there was nothing he could do to save him. Except, love him. But recently, Wrecker was starting to fear, his love was not enough to save them.
"I'm not going to let you go, Hunter, kick me, hit me, please, but I'm not going to let you go." Wrecker promised, that was his promise. Never would Wrecker let Hunter go free into the darkness. Hunter continued to fight against him, using all his strength, but against Wrecker, his strength amounted to that of a child's.
Exhausted, Hunter resigned, he rested his head, taking a shaky breath, his cries softening. Wrecker grew less tense as he took a deep breath of relief. Hoping as a fool Hunter was done. Wrecker should have know, that Hunter would never be done crying, quite impossible would that be, for Hunter to voice all the pain that ripped him apart.
Hunter let out another sob, a softer one, "I wanna die, I don't wanna be here anymore," he babbled as he choked on his tears, gripping Wrecker's arm as if he died if he didn't, so why he didn't let go, Hunter didn't know. "I don't wanna be alive anymore!" He yelled, a sudden burst of energy ran through him as he let out a shriek and hit his head repeatedly into Wrecker's chest as he started to grow tired again. It was exhausting, convincing himself he wanted to live as if he didn't fantasize about his death.
Wrecker shook his head, no, no that wasn't true. Hunter, why do you lie to me? Wrecker frowned knowing he was the liar. And a hypocrite. But this moment wasn't about him, it was about Hunter. "No.." He muttered in a whisper.
"Please kill me, I know you can do it Wrecker, I know you can," Hunter pleaded. Wrecker's heart dropped as he fought every urge to drop his brother in shock. No- no Wrecker wasn't going to hurt him, he wasn't capable of it. But he was. Oh, Wrecker's known all his life, just how capable he was of killing his brothers. Now Hunter was too, and he was begging for him too, "Say we heard a noise, a-a big animal and we didn't have our blasters. So I never stood a chance-"
"Hunter!" Wrecker inturrupted, letting his tone get out of control for only a mere second before collecting himself again, "I can't do that, Hunter, I won't," Wrecker muttered, gritting his teeth as he shoved all that down and pulled Hunter closer. The two went quiet. For a long minute, perhaps they both worried their family would come through the door. Wrecker closed his eyes, listening to Hunter's breathing, it was shaky, but he was breathing.
After a long while, when Hunter's breathing shifted, Wrecker opened his eyes, looking at Hunter. Oh, Wrecker would do anything to make his brother stay, "Please don't ask me to hurt you, again" Wrecker didn't like that his brothers knew that his monstrous strength could ever be used against them. He would never hurt them, he would only ever love them
Hunter looked up, "I'm sorry, I know you love me, I know that Tech loves me, I know that-"
"Hunter," Wrecker interrupted him, "It ain't your fault, it ain't your fault that sometimes dying seems easier than living," He spoke, "I get it, you know we all do, there's nothing wrong with being sad," Hunter nodded as he listened to his older brother, oh he was exhausted. He had closed his eyes, not entirely worrying when Wrecker went silent, he'd start talking again soon, "Even if you never smiled again, we're always gonna love you, I'm always gonna love you."
Hunter opened his eyes, staring at the wall, "You promise? 'Cause I know I'm a lot I wouldn't blame you if you stopped-"
"Hunter," Wrecker cut him off, Hunter looked at him, a desperation in his eyes. Wrecker stared at him with a peculiar look before he fixed his smile and pressed his forehead to Hunter's,
"I'm always gonna love you, I promise."
