“Well, don’t act like this is a surprise.”
“I mean, I know you’re a kleptomaniac, but seriously? Did you really think that you’d get away with stealing stuff from a witch?”
“You were a nice boyfriend, but I have always wanted a pet magpie. I think this form is going to suit you rather well,”
“Oh, don’t ruffle your feathers at me, [——]. This is just the consequences of your actions.”
“You really do make a cute bird though—Ow! Damn, that hurt. I was just trying to pet you—ow, ow! Okay, fine—be that way, grumpy gus. You can stay out here with the rest of the wild birds. Later,”
“Oh? That was fast. You change your mind, hmm? You can come with me, as long as you stop pecking me—that shit hurts. And it’s rude.”
“Yeah, yeah, flirting with me as bird isn’t as cute as you think it is—yeah no, that’s a lie—you’re still the cutest thing ever.”
“We’ll figure this out, [——]. I promise I won’t let you stay this way forever. Yeah, we’ll get this fixed. Just hope she doesn’t want a soul as payment, mine’s kinda iffy.”
“What? Don’t give me that look—I still have one, it’s just… I’m pretty sure it’s probably in the same shape as a lifelong drunk’s liver.”
“Let’s just go home tonight and sleep on it, yeah? Maybe make better decisions that way, what do you say?”