You wanna know who really got me at the end of 02x18?
Alec. Alec hands down was the reason I broke down in tears.
Well, yes the whole scene was soul crushing but the exact moment where I broke down was when Alec lost it.
And keep in mind Alec throughout the whole show up until that point was someone who always seem to have it together.
He is a soldier who follows and enforces clave rules more than anyone else in the group. He is emotionally closed off because like he said to Clary “Emotions are nothing but a distraction.” In multiple times of trouble, where they needed help, he was the most calm and collected compared to his family. Even as his little brother almost DIED.
But when Magnus said he couldn’t have Alec and be a leader. Alec lost it. (And that ladies and gents is where my waterworks started.)
Alec, the man who always seem to have his shit together in one way or another, went into a panic.
He practically begged Magnus to stay. Promising to work everything out. Even though Magnus did have a point, he was trying to protect his people, just like Alec is always trying to do. And yet Alec wouldn’t have it.
He had tears in his eyes, a shaky voice, and was choking back a sob. And in that moment you can see his heart break. You can see just how lost and broken he was as Magnus left. How he’s was trying to grasp at what just happened. (And this is probably the hardest I cried watching this show.)