BESTIARY NOTES #2 [USER: HIPPOCAMPUS]
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ENTRY: [MANNEKIN]
MORPHOLOGY- HUMANOID, STANDARD
HABITUATIONS- PRIMARY: [CLOTHING OUTLETS] SECONDARY: [LIQUIDATION]
ABILITIES- STANDARD HUMANOID CAPABILITIES, ACTIVATION OF REPAIR PROTOCOLS [LESSER]
NOTES- ...Good golly Miss Molly, it's nice to write in a medium where I'm not constantly stuttering with a laugh track. Guess you can say I'm writing with a one-track mind now, ha ha!
...Anyway, schtick aside, these things are swarming every clothes store voguing for an audience that no longer exists, and they don't wanna share. Reminds me of somebody I knew once. But at least these things'll bash ya in the front instead of stab ya in the back, which is more than I can say for-
-Anyway, moving on. They were made as eye-candy for displaying the latest fashions, and I gotta say in their prime they looked it. But now they're falling apart, systems can't keep up with the healing factor. They can still use it a lil for their weapons, and I heard that a couple of the Mall Ninjas managed to strike up a trade for clothes, god knows how.
They seem co-ordinated and centralized by a singular intelligence. I remember when things were running they used to be for "security purposes" and some of the poor unfortunates they used to "throw out" didn't look too good in the end. Of course that's the sort of system the old bastard would design, an iron fist in a lacy bra...
...Oh, no offense intended towards yourself, you look good in those.
ENTRY: [MALL NINJA]
MORPHOLOGY- HUMANOID, BULKY
HABITUATIONS- PRIMARY [HOBBY ARMORY LOCATIONS, CACHES OF PROJECT TEMUJIN], SECONDARY [EVERYWHERE] [unfortunately]
ABILITIES- [HUMAN + 2] SPEED, STRENGTH, UNORTHODOX WEAPONRY MASTERY, REGENERATION [not stealth]
NOTES- You know, when I think about Project Temujin, I can't not think of how insane it is there were worse pieces of shit at this place than you-know-who. But, that other fucker's gone now, though god I wish they found the body so I could burn it.
Regardless, you've probably seen these goober-ass muscleheads show up in an ambush; with the most over-the-top bluster and neon backlighting like Ninjas usually don't. Or shouldn't! That defeats the entire point of being a ninja! I had banter over this with Aster and-
...Aster. Oh god. She didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve...
...MOVING RIGHT ALONG, they fight like a Dante from the Devil May Cry series and pop up everywhere like pigeons to fight anybody they think looks strong enough to be worthy and that they're dumb enough to think they can take...
..I forget, are there pigeons still alive in here? If you find any, could you tell me? I miss them...
...Regardless, they're pop-up combat targets that regen after an "IGNOBLE DEFEAT" and taht used to be all there was to 'em after they... escaped containment in their little clans, but it feels like theyre's something else driving 'em nowadays. But if you asked them they'd probably say, "Agenda? I hardly know 'er!"
...Well, they would if they didn't have that macho shit and zero self-awareness. Though, they were genderless for a lot of the time I've been here until recently. where they started calling themselves "warrior women" after the "great works" of their "queen," and that seems to be changing what they're doing.
Now, I'm a hippocampus not a hypocrite, so more power to 'em, but by all indications of the times they talk to me, it seems like it's that Nomajene character you told me about, which... god, I can't find heads or tails on her, so it's worrying. I got a few leads tho, so next time you're hunting it might be good to look out for her. For multiple reasons...
ENTRY: [RYDE-R]
MORPHOLOGY- QUADRUPED, REPTOMAMMAL
HABITUATIONS- PRIMARY [MALL FLOOR], SECONDARY [INTERNAL CORRIDORS, PET STORE LOCATIONS]
ABILITIES- [QUADRUPED +4] SPEED, [QUADRUPED +2] RESILIENCE, CAPACITY TO UTILIZE STAIRS (badly)
NOTES: You wouldn't think a beast of burden would be habituated for this place, but with the monorails and the 'vators dead or... out of action, these're what we're stuck with. You'd think the cyborg kiddie rides wouldn't have adapted to this state, but as things went to shit people made do and things mutated...
...Which, that's been going on way longer than before the old bastards saw it, but nobody ever accused futurists of being forward-thinking! God I'm glad I don't have that stupid laugh track on these, it's nice not to have it go off.
Anyhoo, most people use these things to get around, drive carts or ride the range. There's a few motors and a few... complete and utter freaks, to put it gently, that keep 'em running. You probably wanna watch out for them, they're real... like that one Queen song, you know that one? About the carfucker?
I'm getting off track, anyway, those're rare and these aren't. They're fast as a greyhound, and about as smart as your average bassett isn't. They're content to be ridden by whoever, and you'll probably see a wide variety of whoever on 'em as you go around. Maybe they might let you on, if you try.
Though, be careful about the stairs, again, they can take 'em but they're bad at it. Beats the monorail, but then again, that's cause it beats back. You might wanna go gun mode if you get there...
ENTRY: [KING FISSHER]
MORPHOLOGY- COLLECTIVE PSEUDOHUMANOID
HABITUATION- PRIMARY [AAABALONEY NOVELTY], SECONDARY- [NONE] (prefers to delegate)
ABILITIES- [HUMAN + 8] STRENGTH, ENDURANCE, [HUMAN -2] SPEED, EXTREME BITE FORCE, SPAWN SECONDARY ENTITY, SECONDARY BODY MANIPULATION, ELECTRICAL DISCHARGE
NOTES: Yeeesh, this guy. You're too new for this, but in the old world there used to be a thing for novelty singing fish. One of the dudes had a fondness for 'em ,but waaaaaayyyyy overproduced in too many varietals, so naturally, things went to hell, the street finds its uses for things, yadda yadda, and now we have a bunch of their parts wired into a man-fish as a petty tyrant. Thaaaaaaat's politics!
...Well, it would be if his hiney-ness permitted politics to continue. He just wants everyone to keep the engines running and the novelties made for him, maybe a few tweaks here and there, but overall an empire of slavery to continue to wallow in old-world hedonism as everything grinds down, down, down...
Well, he reminds me a lot of other people I used to know. Maybe that's why he's like that, "I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU DAD!" and all that...
...Right, I forget you don't have that as a reference point. It's an old public service announcement about narcotics. None of those really ever covered power, even though it's the worst one of 'em all.
He primarily maintains his rule by setting the backlog of those fish to autowire into other machines and borgs, crushing the organics who won't comply, if you're gonna fight 'em watch out for 'em. Your systems seem advanced enough they probably can't hijack 'em for too long, but it's probably long enough, and an animatronic orca's coming at you with a bite. Or a bolt of electricity. Or one of the stupid traps in that lava-lamo throne room.
Point is, be careful...
...I feel like I gotta mention, I tried to talk to him once. Or rather, he tried to talk to me. Or rather rather, he tried to talk at me, and I tried to tell him he was making the same mistakes as his creators. He didn't wanna hear it. They never do.
And by the by, if you beat him, watch out for the Aaabaloney Poney. Word has it he has it rigged to potentially get out, and you really; really don't wanna face that thing unprepared...
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SO, I finally finished another minor bestiary for the Dead Mall Soulsborne!. Well, I got some other things I forgot to add, but they're so extensive that that's for a future Public Domain Month.
You might notice that the tone is a bit less formal than the previous year's one. That's because it's being narrated by the Hippocampus, and she's an entertainment robot. So naturally, she'd be a bit more... well, like you'd expect someone made for Future Chuck-E-Cheese to talk about it. Hopefully that isn't too annoying.
Either way, as per usual on the PD month characters, this design/concept/ect is CC0, do with them what you will, just don't make it boring!
