Pairing - Sirius Black x Female!reader
Warnings - mentions of torture, family issues, toxic family, injuries, depression, anxiety.
Summary - A fic based on the song 'Matilda' where the reader helps Sirius to move on.
This idea came to me when I was listening to Matilda before sleeping and the lyrics somehow made me think of Sirius so yeah. Y'all go stream the album.
Also one more, this is really bloody long.. like too long so yeah- hopefully I won't bore you. I just wanted to put everything in and.... Yep.
You were riding your bike to the sound of 'It's no big deal'. And you're trying to lift off the ground on those old two wheels.
There he was, standing and leaning casually against the barrier. He wore his signature all-black look, a neutral expression on his face as he ran his fingers through his long, dark locks.
His silvery-grey irises surveyed the crowd intently, taking in everything that was going on. All he saw were families of students saying goodbye and sharing last minute talks. His face didn't change one bit but his eyes seemed to turn a shade duller as he watched the interactions.
His wandering gaze stopped as he saw a familiar face that was quite identical to his own. He watched the boy's expressionless facade, his body language that radiated confidence.
He let out a little scoff as the woman hugged, or rather strangled the sharp-featured lad and bid him one last nod before disapparating.
And again, he was lost in his thoughts. Thoughts that weren't quite pleasant or cheerful.
"SIRIUS!" A voice called out his name loudly, making him snap out of his daydream and look towards the source.
A genuine smile took over his previously detached face as he saw you running towards him with a huge grin stretching your lips.
"Hello love," he mumbled and wasted no time in pulling you into the tightest hug ever. His head was pressed against your neck as he kissed the skin, breathing in your scent as he did so.
You smiled softly and one of your hands went around his back while the other played with his hair. You knew the summer was a lot harder for him this time with all of the dark stuff going on, so you held him close. Trying to protect him even if it was for mere seconds.
"Hey," you laughed and pulled away to see his eyes shining brightly as they scanned your face with hunger and adoration. "Miss me?"
"You have no idea," he breathed out and gave you a toothy grin.
"I think I do actually," you smirked, and he knew you were referring to his letters that were filled with unbelievable pining and desperation from his side.
"Oh shut it," he grumbled but smiled when you kissed his cheek gently, your heart melting at his adorable flustered face.
"PADFOOT!" James' scream was heard and the two of you turned around in search of your best friend.
"PRONGS!" Sirius laughed out loud and tackled the messy-haired boy in a hug. It was quite a wild one, both boys had pounced on each other and had almost fallen over had it not been for you steadying them on time.
"I feel appreciated," you chirped in after waiting for two whole minutes for them to pull away from each other.
"I missed you too," James rolled his eyes before hugging you tightly as well.
"Sure you did, Potter," you muttered playfully and rested your head on his shoulder, enjoying the protective brotherly feeling he seemed to give out from his warm hug.
You smiled and were about to say something when a familiar head of sandy-brown curls caught your eyes and you waved frantically, trying to get his attention.
"MOONY!" Sirius yelled and the boy finally spotted them, a smile spreading across his face as he almost ran up to the group.
"Hey Rem," you chucked and were the first to pull the taller boy in an embrace. You had missed your reading partner, your study buddy, and sassy Remmy a lot.
"I missed you too," Remus chuckled and wrapped his arms around your waist just as tight as the others. His hugs were always the best, everybody agreed on that without any argument and discussion.
"Wormtail!! There you are, bud!" James called out excitedly and brought the short blond-haired boy in a friendly embrace.
"Hello Pete!" You greeted enthusiastically and the two of you did your traditional handshake with huge grins.
"Let's go, the train will leave in five minutes," said Remus and you nodded.
"I'll just be back," James smiled and hurried over to where his parents were standing.
Fleamont and Euphemia Potter waved at the rest and they all waved back with smiles on their faces as they watched their best friend being showered in hugs and kisses from his mother and father.
Subconsciously, your gaze flitted to Sirius and you saw him staring at the Potters with a hint of longing.
Your smile slipped off as you saw his face turn down by the second, his eyes becoming a little darker and filling with various emotions.
You took his hand in yours and entwined your fingers together while rubbing circles on the back to help him calm down. His eyes moved from the family to your clasped hands and then to your face, a small but grateful smile seen on his lips.
"It's okay," you leaned over and whispered in his ear. "I'm right here, love".
He nodded, a little embarrassed that he couldn't keep his emotions in check, that he was sad about such a minimal thing.
"I know," he muttered back and kissed the side of your head before taking your hand and pulling you towards the train.
===============================
Nothing about the way that you were treated ever seemed especially alarming 'til now. So you tie up your hair and you smile like it's no big deal.
All of the students sighed in relief as the classes ended for the week, everybody was looking forward to spending the weekend without any worry about homework.
"This week was too long," James muttered and leaned his head against the couch comfortably.
"And it was only the first one. I don't even know how I'm going to survive the rest," you exhaled and curled up in the armchair.
"We underestimated sixth-year quite a lot," said Remus as he fiddled with the strings of his sweater.
"I've still got a lot left," Peter groaned and pressed his palms on his face.
Everyone looked at each other and a frown was seen on all of their lips. Dark circles had already begun to show beneath their eyes indicating a lack of sleep.
"Where's Sirius?" Remus asked as he looked around the half-empty common room.
"Saw him on the Quidditch Pitch about an hour ago," said James.
You furrowed your eyebrows at that, it had been a long time and there was no sign of your boyfriend anywhere. You hadn't seen him since late afternoon and worry was making its way into your mind.
"Something's not right," you muttered and sat up straight.
"Don't worry, he'll just be around causing some mischief," Remus assured with a nod.
And just then the portrait door swung open and there was the missing person.
You all watched him saunter inside, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up, his hair looking as though he was running his fingers through it constantly and his eyes were bloodshot.
He slowly came closer and took a seat next to you, taking your hand in his to play with your soft fingers.
"Where on earth were you?!" Peter inquired frantically after seeing his state.
"Just messing about like always," he replied with a small smile.
"For almost the whole day?" You asked and tried to look into his eyes, but it was almost impossible as he kept avoiding your gaze.
"We were worried mate," James frowned and leaned forward, his hands clasped together.
"Relax I just wanted to be alone for some time, nothing more," he tried to reassure them by grinning but everyone was able to see right past it.
You gave up on catching his eye and instead looked down at his arm, your eyes narrowing at seeing a new scar right below his wrist.
You gently turned his arm over and lifted his sleeve, everybody now watching your movement instead of talking.
Your chest tightened at seeing two more long, thin but deep red lines near his bicep and forearm.
A small gasp was heard from everyone as they saw those crimson scars, a startling contrast to Sirius' unnaturally pale skin.
Sirius tensed as he was the centre of their attention and he tried to pull his arm back but you had a stronghold. His breathing was becoming faster as he started panicking.
"Sirius?" Remus called out softly as he looked at his best friend with sorrowful eyes.
"I'm fine," the grey-eyed boy let out a forced laugh and retracted his hand, now avoiding everyone's eye and getting up.
"Come on, mate. Don't be like that. We just wanna help," Peter consoled but was brushed off.
"I don't need help," Sirius muttered shortly. "I'm doing fine on my own".
"It wouldn't hurt to tell your friends," said James with a slightly frustrated tone. "We'll find a solution if you do".
"I don't need a solution! I said I'm doing fine! I can handle this," Sirius growled and walked over to the stairs.
"Sirius," you called out in a firm voice making him stop. "I don't want to pressure you, love. But do tell us, it'll help you".
"DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME?! He finally lashed out, losing his chill. "I'M NOT A BABY FOR YOU TO BE CODDLING ME EVERY DAMN TIME!" He glared harshly at you one last time before stomping to his dorm.
You didn't say another word, just simply watched him go. You weren't hurt or sad, you were a little angry that was for sure. But that faded away too as you knew everything must've been getting to him, he was exhausted entirely.
"He's just upset you know," James mumbled as he stood by your side, comforting you.
"I'm not sad, James," you smiled and glanced up randomly. "I know he's angry".
"You should go," Remus nodded and pointed at the staircase. "He may have shouted at you but he does want your comfort, I can tell".
"You sure? I don't wanna interrupt anything," you bit your lip anxiously.
"Just go," said Peter. "And if he yells again, James will give him a nice talk".
"I don't doubt that," you chuckled and slowly walked up towards the boy's dorm.
A knock sounded and was met with a harsh reply from Sirius who immediately turned you down and asked you to leave.
You knocked again, "Open up, Sirius".
"I don't want your help!" He grumbled and you could hear his voice shaking badly. "I'm f- fine".
"Admitting you need help doesn't make you anything less," you replied and tapped the door once again. "It doesn't matter how old you are, everybody needs help".
You heard movement and soon enough the door opened and you stepped in, closing it behind you.
His back was facing you as he stared at the wall. You knew he was trying to maintain a strong posture for your sake, but his body was refusing to comply.
You walked closer to him and stood right behind. "Can I?" You asked and he nodded after a while, his shoulders trembling.
At his permission you took hold of his arms and gently turned him around to face you, a knife struck your heart at his tear-stained cheeks, red nose, bloodshot and puffy eyes and quivering lips.
He still wasn't looking directly at you so you lifted your hands to place them on his cheeks but never got the chance to do so, as the boy flinched hard and cowered ever so slightly.
Another round of pain filled your body at his scared and vulnerable expression. He was afraid, of you.
"Oh love," you sighed as he collapsed into your arms. His hands encircling your waist and holding you so tightly as though you were his anchor, the one that was grounding him.
Deep sobs wracked his body as he cried his heart out, letting go of everything that was weighing him down, everything that was making him feel confused, sad or angry.
"Shh," you whispered and rubbed his back to calm his agitated mind. "It's okay".
Slowly but surely the shaking slowed down and but his grip still remained as tight as ever, not wanting to let you go.
"It's alright," you murmured and pressed a kiss to the side of his head. "You're okay".
He pulled away at last, not even bothering to hide his terrible state as he finally gazed right into your eyes.
You just smiled and cautiously lifted your hand to cup his cheeks, caressing the skin and wiping away the tears. You took his arms, led him towards his bed and then pulled him back in your embrace.
He was silent for quite a time, just resting his head on your chest as you held him. This time was different from others, you had seen him cry before but never this badly. You knew the situation in his house was getting worse by the day.
"Feeling better?" Your voice asked softly and he looked at you, thinking for a minute before nodding slowly.
"I'm sorry," he croaked out, voice all hoarse and scratchy from the breakdown.
He was broken. Destroyed. Shattered beyond repair. But nothing of that mattered to you.
"What for?" You questioned gently.
"I shouted at you when you all were just looking out for me," he mumbled with a small pout.
"You shouldn't have done so, but you were angry and it doesn't matter".
He nodded guiltily, "Then thank you".
An amused chuckle escaped your lips, "Now what's this?"
"For being there," he simply stated and a ghost of a smile graced his lips.
"I'll always be there," you murmured back and rubbed his arm up and down. "It was bad this time, wasn't it?"
He exhaled heavily and hesitated before answering, "It was. They were in no mood to tolerate my silly behaviour and I didn't notice until they cursed the life out of me. I thought it was their usual angry self, but it was much worse".
"All- All these scars," you said and glanced at him to make sure he was comfortable. "All this during summer?"
"Yeah," he replied and leaned back against the wall, hiding a wince but it didn't escape your sight.
"How many more?" You asked, not trusting your voice as it started shaking but you held it together.
You nodded, swallowing down the tightness in your throat at his small but agonizing answer.
Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw him lifting the back of his shirt and that was it, your final breaking point.
His back was full of them. Some big, some small. Some thin, some broad. Some deep, some shallow. Some fresh, some old. Every type of scar imaginable was painted on his back, marking him for life.
You had never quite thought of the extent to which he was tortured. Yes, you knew it was bad, you had seen his scars before but all these littering his back were recently done.
Your finger traced the border of a few of them, grazing along the lines as gently as possible. Shaking your head, you took out your wand and started muttering spells to heal as much as you could.
"I'm okay now," he whispered and took your hand, squeezing it assuringly.
===============================
You can let it go. You can throw a party full of everyone you know. And not invite your family 'cause they never showed you love. You don't have to be sorry, for leaving and growing up.
You were sitting on the couch of the Potter Manor, gazing blankly at the fireplace as your mind wandered around.
James had gone to bed after the two of you had a hot chocolate but you stayed, unable to shake off the feeling that something wrong was going to happen.
You didn't even remember when your eyes finally closed and sleep overtook you. It was only when your body was shaking that you woke up.
"C'mon," James whispered and wrapped his arm around your shoulder to steady your drowsy figure.
You nodded sleepily and were just about to stand when the died-out fireplace blazed bright with huge green flames.
The people that stepped in were probably the last ones expected this early in the morning.
"Reg?" You murmured out and furrowed your eyebrows at the younger Black who had angry tears streaming down his face.
James stepped closer to the boy and was about to ask what happened when his brother came into view.
"Sirius," a shocked gasp was heard from you as you took in his extremely injured state.
He was leaning heavily against Regulus, eyes half-closed with exhaustion as he hunched over. The literal definition of pain was written across his face. His light blue shirt was now soaked crimson, blood dripping from the side of his forehead and the corner of his lips. His clothes were also torn up badly in various spots.
"No no no no," a chant slipped from your lips as you stood frozen, unable to react.
"I'll get mum and dad," James muttered and turned towards you, shaking your arms to pull you back from your frozen mindset.
"Look after him," he said and you gave a shaky nod, still unable to comprehend the unbelievable situation.
You stared at him for a second before walking over to your man, taking in his bloody and injured sight that almost made your eyes well up.
"Alright," you whispered to yourself and slowly walked over to him with cautious steps, letting him give you any sign that he wasn't comfortable with your approach.
But he didn't move and continued to stare at you, his tired eyes fixed on yours as you stood in front of him.
Your lips quivered slightly and you clenched your jaw to stop any sentiments from running out of control. You clasped his arms and led him towards the couch.
Magic wasn't to be used outside of school, so a bowl of water and a cotton cloth was ready in your hands as you started dabbing at his gruesome wounds.
You softened your movements at hearing him hiss out in pain and tried to concentrate on the task and not look up as you felt his eyes burning holes in you.
"Oh dear!" Euphemia gasped and quickly hurried over by your side. You stepped aside and watched as she took out her wand to heal and bandage everything.
"Reg?" You asked and looked at the young Black who was silent throughout the night. "Nothing happened to you right?"
Regulus who was standing in a corner with his back pressed against the wall shook his head and stared at the ground.
Your eyes scanned Sirius to see that everything was mended properly before walking towards the boy but James beat you to it.
The youngest Potter pulled Regulus in his arms and hugged him tightly. All it took were a few seconds for the grey-eyed boy to let tears slip.
Your heart broke at the sight of the two brothers, so young but so brutally tortured. No one deserved this.
"What happened, Sirius?" Fleamont questioned gently after everything has settled down.
"Got into a big argument and they took out their anger," he simply murmured with a hoarse voice.
"I have to go," Regulus suddenly interrupted making everyone turn their attention towards him.
"Are you insane?" James asked, not believing what this boy was saying. "You are not going back to that hell-hole. You will stay here, you and Sirius both".
"Don't be ridiculous, Reg. You will not go back there," you shook your head firmly.
"I can't. I can't stay here," he whispered and offered the two a small, broken smile. "I have to go".
You knew he won't take no for an answer and went over to hug him, "Be safe. And if it does get hard, please leave".
Regulus nodded and then looked at James, his silvery-grey irises inspecting James' hazel ones. Both wanting to say so much but nothing at the same time, just content with looking at the other.
"Thank you," he smiled one last time and nodded at Sirius before disappearing into the fireplace.
"You alright now, Sirius?" Euphemia questioned him softly and he nodded, his eyes unintentionally flickering to you, a motion that was not missed by her.
"Take care," Fleamont addressed him seriously and then with a smile, he left to go get some sleep.
Euphemia got up from her place and walked over to you who was standing in a corner with your arms crossed.
You stood up straight as she neared, "He's alright isn't he?"
"He's fine, weakened but alright," she nodded. "He wants to talk to you, I know you know that".
"I can't even bear to look at him, Mia. He looks better now but before, he looked to be on the verge of death!" You frowned and she could see your eyes glistening.
"Talk to him," she insisted with a smile. "Trust me, it'll help both of you".
She tapped your cheek before leaving and you exhaled a long breath, composing yourself to face him.
Sirius was lying on the couch, eyes closed but at hearing footsteps, he perked up and bore an excited look at seeing you.
You sat next to him and finally settled your eyes onto his, small relief washing over you at seeing the familiar mischievous glint shining in them.
He slowly spread out his arms for you to come in and bury yourself but you held back.
"I'll hurt you," you whispered, fighting the urge to hug him tightly.
"You can never," he shook his head and pulled you in an embrace, smiling at the feeling of being in your arms.
You wrapped your arms around him in a cautious manner, not wanting to hurt but at the same time also hoping to provide him with some comfort.
"I missed you, my love. A lot," he sighed and pressed a kiss on your shoulder blade.
"I missed you too," you replied and allowed him to rest his head in the crook of your neck. "You have no idea how much you scared me by turning up like that".
"Sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't want to trouble anyone but honestly, there was nowhere else for me to go".
"Don't blame yourself!" You scolded him gently. "You did the right thing coming here, and I assure you there'll be no going back".
"Promise?" He asked, his eyes searching yours questioningly. It was a childish question, he knew that. But all he needed at the moment was confirmation.
"Promise," you nodded firmly.
He finally raised his head and leaned in closer, his nose touching yours for a moment before he closed the gap.
"I'm sorry," he apologized again, not even knowing the reason for it but still doing so.
"You don't have to be. No one should be sorry for just wanting to leave, for wanting to grow," you argued.
"Hey," you whispered after seeing his troubled expression. You raised your hand to cup his cheek and said, "I love you".
Whether it was the sincere look of affection in your eyes, the soft but firm tone of your voice, or maybe just the three simple words.
It was the reason for Sirius' genuine smile. Not his mischievous grin, not the cocky smirk, it was just a twitch of his lips. A pure and beautiful smile.
"I love you too," he said back and the two of you shared another kiss.
===============================
Matilda, you talk of the pain like it's all alright. But I know that you feel like a piece of you's dead inside. You showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days. It's none of my business but it's just been on my mind.
Sirius Black was doing well, he was. Being back at Hogwarts made him forget about his problems, and enjoy the chaotic atmosphere.
It had been two weeks and all was good, until this day.
He had been acting differently. Not talking often which was quite opposite to his usual nature, he wasn't paying attention and was gazing around randomly.
"Sirius?" James' voice spoke making everyone turn to look at the grey-eyed boy who once again, appeared to be lost.
"What?" Sirius asked and looked at him, eyebrows raised in question.
"What's wrong? Something seems off about you these past days," he said softly.
Sirius barked a laugh and shook his head, "I'm all good".
But everyone knew he was not, something was wrong, they just didn't know what.
Your eyes had risen once again to glance at the boy and he caught your gaze, grinning effortlessly and blowing you a kiss.
It almost made you smile and believe he was indeed alright, had it not been for his eyes that looked like pools of misery instead of mischief.
A few days passed and Sirius was normal, he was his usual self but again oneday he was all silent and closeted.
"Something's going on," Remus muttered to you while you two studied in the library.
"I've noticed it too," you sighed and closed the book, mind racing for any idea.
"Do you think it's about his family?" He asked and pursed his lips in thought.
"I dunno," you mumbled and rested your head on the table. "Reggie didn't tell me anything, and he seems to be fine".
"Moony!" Familiar voices called the two and they turned to see James and Sirius running towards them.
"Hey there love," Sirius smirked and you stared at him for a moment, trying to analyse his face closely, but all you saw was the same mischievous glint.
So you smiled and he took your hand, making you stand up and snaked his arm around your waist. "I've got something to show you".
"What?" You asked to see a really excited expression on his face.
"You'll see," he grinned childishly and pulled you with him as he ran.
He led you out in the grounds and you tried to maintain pace with him while also trying to be careful as it was dark.
"Come on," he said breathlessly and dragged you to a spot near the lake, where the familiar tree was.
You looked a little confused as to why he was so excited about a tree, but then you gasped as the leaves were suddenly lightened with a bright yellow.
"Fireflies," you breathed and stepped closer, admiring the beauty of such a simple thing.
"Beautiful aren't they?" Sirius sighed and stood behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his cheek on your shoulder.
"Really are," you said and smiled after feeling his lips touch graze your cheek gently.
The pair of you were standing there, simply taking in the sight and enjoying the company of each other.
Your mood was quite happy throughout dinner and so was Sirius'. He was laughing out loud, annoying everyone with his obnoxious jokes and flirting shamelessly with you.
It was only after eating that his face fell. His lips turning downwards as his face took on the sullen expression once again.
You weren't present at that time as you were sitting with your other friends. You didn't notice the way he dashed out of the hall with such urgent and hasty movements.
A tap on your shoulder was what pulled you out of your laughing fit. You turned to see Peter there with a worried face.
"Just come with me," he sighed and took your hand, leading you out of the hall.
"What happened?" You asked, panic settling in your body at the lack of context.
"Sirius," he said simply and that was all it took for you to move faster, almost sprinting towards the common room.
You entered through the portrait to see the room mostly empty with the exception of your friends.
Remus was sitting on the sofa, his face creased with concern while James stood beside him, arms crossed and jaw clenched.
"Where's he? Where's Siri-?" Your words died down in your throat at seeing the boy sitting on the floor. A bottle of firewhisky in his hands as his head rested on the cushion of the couch, eyes burning holes in the ceiling.
"He's been sitting like this ever since we came. Not talking, not responding to anything," James grumbled and you could see his eyes beginning to well up.
"Nothing," Remus muttered and stared at his friend with a sorrowful look.
You sighed and went over to sit beside him, making sure to keep a distance. He didn't even acknowledge your presence until you called his name.
"Who- Hello luhv," he grinned at you, speech slurred and eyes hazy, letting you know he was clearly drunk.
"What happened?" You asked softly, shifting closer to him while the boys listened intently.
He let out a giggle and threw his body onto yours, "Wanted to forget everything," he said and buried his face in your shoulder.
You shared a glance with the others who were looking as sad as you.
"Everything!" He said in a spooky voice and continued to giggle. "Forget about my house, forget about my parents, forget about me being disowned".
Your heart broke at seeing him like this, his state at this moment was shattered beyond repair.
"But never forget about you!" He added and smiled giddily at you. "Because I love you. Not forgetting Prongs, Moony and Wormtail and Reggie too!"
You couldn't say anything but gently direct his head to your chest, holding him close as you tried to stop the tears from falling.
The boys all were crying, unable to hold back their emotions at seeing their best friend is such a wrecked state.
The next morning Sirius acted like everything was normal. He pretended to not remember what he had said previously and just laughed all the time.
It was now the fifth day in an entire month that he was yet again becoming distant and by now every one of you was tired of his constant hiding.
"We have to do something," Peter murmured and looked at you. "I can't stand seeing him like that".
"Neither can I," Remus sighed and massaged his forehead with his palm.
"It's honestly breaking me," James muttered and looked at you with desperation, him wanting nothing more than to see his brother becoming himself.
"I'll talk to him," you breathed out and but your lip. "I'll talk tonight. We'll see how it goes. He can't keep this going on".
So as decided, you were sitting on the couch of the common room and it was 1:30 in the morning. And of course, there was no sign of your boyfriend.
At about 2:30, you looked up from the book after hearing the door open and saw Sirius finally coming in.
"Been out long enough eh?" You said quietly and he jumped. "I've been waiting forever'.
"What are you doing up so late?" He asked softly and walked up to you, a tiny amount of concern on his face.
"I was waiting for you to show up".
"You shouldn't have. I was just messing around like usual".
"You do know I can read you easily right? That there's no point in you lying all the damn time?"
"I'm not lying," he mumbled and looked down to fiddle with his hands.
"Sure you're not," you scoffed lightly.
"If you want to ask what's wrong, then I have no answer for you," he said firmly but avoided eye contact.
"I'm fine," he muttered after a moment.
"I know you're not," you said simply and maybe that sentence was what caused Sirius to finally let everything out.
It was such a simple phrase but the way it struck his chest was something else. He looked at you with big silver eyes filled with tears and brought you in his arms, burying his face in your neck.
"I- I'm s- sorry," he said shakily as tears streamed down his face rapidly. "I didn't want to- didn't mean to-"
"Hey hey hey," you consoled and rubbed his back. "Shh it's okay. I'm right here love".
He cried his heart out, letting every tiny thing that seemed to upset him in the past few days fade away.
While all you could so was hug him tightly and comfort him while you were in an inconsolable state yourself.
"Don't act like you're all happy and cheery when you're feeling dead inside. It's normal and okay to show emotions, you know? You're a human Sirius, you deserve to be free and display your feelings without fear or hesitation. And it's fine if you don't wanna talk about it in front of everyone, I understand that. But James, Rem and Pete? They're your friends aren't they? They were almost on the verge of crying themselves after seeing your drunken state".
Sirius lifted his head from your shoulder, his heart aching with guilt and at the same time feeling happy at his caring friends.
"And me? I'm right here, all the damn time," you said and he looked down with a sadly. "And you remember this, I'll always be here. No matter what. Okay?"
"Okay," he mumbled and drew patterns on your shirt.
"Okay?!" You asked once again and cupped his cheeks, making him look at you. He saw a playful glare on your face and knew you were trying to make him laugh.
"Okay," he finally smiled that genuine twitch and you reciprocated. And suddenly you purposefully went closer to him and stared him down until he couldn't help but dissolve into a fit of soft laughter.
He then raised his hand to rest it on your cheek, a dazed look on his face as he looked at you. He saw your hair tumbling over your shoulders, tousled in some places. Your bare face that he loved no matter how flawed it was.
"I love you," he said with outmost sincerity and adoration.
"I love you too, handsome," you chuckled and rested your head against his.
He smirked at the nickname and that was the only warning you had before his fingers attacked your sides with tickles.
===============================
You can let it go. You can throw a party full of everyone you know. And not invite your family 'cause they never showed you love. You don't have to be sorry, for leaving and growing up.
The warm and sunny days were slowly fading away to coldness as November was approaching soon enough.
The bright and luscious green trees were changing into shades of red, orange and yellow as Autumn began. And with the start of a new month, a very special day was coming soon too.
Sirius Black's seventeenth birthday. Which meant the days before were full of planning, late night pre-celebrations and lots of chaotic days.
The person himself was seen grinning widely as his important day was getting closer and closer. He skipped and sprinted around in corridors and sang songs at the top of his voice.
So to conclude, he was very ecstatic indeed. And it made you and the others delighted too. Seeing him be carefree and not worry about the constant family issues.
"It feels illegal for you to be so happy when I'm drowning in misery here," you said playfully after he entered the common room with a cheerful face.
"Then be happy with me, love," he grinned and took you hands, making you stand up.
"Nu-uh," you immediately shook your head at seeing that mischievous spark in his eyes. "I've got loads of work to do and I surely don't want yet another detention".
"Oh come on!" He complained and purposefully leaned in a little closer, just enough for your noses to touch.
"No..." Your argument faltered as you blushed at the proximity. You knew what he was doing and yet you were helpless.
"Please? For me?" He asked and placed his forehead against yours, kissing the corner of your mouth and hiding a smirk.
You groaned and cursed at the effect his presence had, "Fine!"
He grinned victoriously and wrapped his arm around your waist securely to lead you Merlin knows where. "You love me too much to refuse, darling".
"Yeah whatever," you rolled your eyes but smiled at his genuine happiness. "Also, you missed the spot".
"Which spot?" He asked in confusion.
"Well, I don't think this is called lips," you said innocently and pointed to the corner of your mouth.
He chuckled and pulled you to him with a single arm and you collided against his chest, your faces inches away as he looked at you intensely.
He then leaned in to kiss you on the right place, lips forming a smile as you reciprocated the action with a lot more passion than him.
"Happy now? Did I find the correct spot?" He asked amusedly as the pair of you walked out of the portrait hole.
"Yeah you did," you smirked and winked at him just for fun.
"Dork," he muttered and laughed, reaching out to entwining your hands.
The day before Sirius' birthday, James had thrown him out of the common room and asked him to wander around the castle just so the rest of you could check your plans.
There was no hiding in this, everyone knew there was always some kind of planning going on for someone's birthday.
And despite with everyone's disagreement, the birthday boy wanted to stay up till midnight, just so he could watch you bring the cake and all.
Sirius, as the drama queen he was fought intentionally and whined. He also sobbed dramatically on Remus' shoulder about how his dearest friends had abandoned him.
"Oh shut up and move now you git," James sighed as he watched the boy now walking up to you.
"Godric help me," you groaned and slapped him on the back harshly as he squeezed you and started to make loud crying sounds.
"Sirius Black I swear to Merlin we won't even wish you if you don't go out this instant, much less get you a cake and prepare something," Remus tried to threaten.
He finally did listen and lifted his head up with a prankster smirk, quite a contrast to the noises made just seconds earlier.
All of you heaved a relieved sigh as he left the common room and y'all started the birthday planning session which went on till about 11:45 pm.
The main character of the plan stepped in not even a minute later with arms full of small snacks from the kitchens.
"Did you put a raid or something?" Peter grinned excitedly at the mounds of sweet and savoury items placed in front of him.
You smiled as Sirius sat next to you and handed your favorite chocolate muffin with choco chips.
You lot sat eating and the food was gone very quickly. It was three minutes until midnight and you kept Sirius distracted by telling him some bizarre fact while Peter sneakily slipped up the stairs to get the cake that was kept in their dormitory.
"That's absurd," he muttered and continued to think what you had just said.
"No it's not," you grinned at his face that looked as though he was contemplating his entire life just because you had told him one random fact.
He was about to argue when a loud party horn was blown and he immediately covered his ears, eyes wide at the sudden noise.
You got up from your spot as fast as lighting to stand beside Remus and all of you screamed, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY PADFOOT!"
Sirius was still staring at his friends in awe. Though he knew they had planned something for him, he was still in shock. He let out a bark like laugh when you put a party hat on top of his head.
Peter stepped in front and held out the cake and the birthday boy closed his eyes tightly to make a wish before blowing off the candles.
"Wohooo!" James cheered and you clapped your hands as he cut his cake.
Your hand intervened as you scooped up a piece and held it in front of him. He smiled and gladly took a bite.
Others repeated the same and you were just waiting for him to chew the last slice when the boy was attacked as you smeared the icing onto his cheeks.
"HEY!" Sirius let out a squeal and shielded himself and laughter echoed in the room.
Remus smirked and he too copied your action and soon enough Sirius' face was totally covered in buttercream.
"No no don't wipe it off!" Peter warned him and upon receiving a puzzled look, he grinned and held up a camera.
The grey-eyed boy rolled his eyes in exasperation but posed for the photo nonetheless. You had to admit he looked handsome even with the icing covering every inch of his face.
He finally cleaned his face with a simple cleaning charm, "That was mean".
"No it wasn't," the rest said in unison.
The rest of the night was spent by taking photos and giving gifts to the visibly pleased birthday boy.
The next day had gone quite smoothly, you were sure that almost the entire school had wished Sirius a happy birthday. He said so himself and you wouldn't doubt it.
It was almost evening and the time for his birthday party had come. It was hosted by none other than James Potter in the Gryffindor Common Room. Everybody from sixth and seventh year was invited.
"Alright," you said, and stood up from your seat on the couch much to the reluctance of Sirius who had his head rested on your shoulder. "I'll go get dressed up".
Lily and Marlene who had just walked in and had heard came running over to you, "Yeah come on let's go".
You nodded at them and turned around to leave when your arm was grabbed and you were tugged backwards.
"Stay for sometime," Sirius whispered and tightened his grip around your waist. His lips brushed your hair and your back was pressed against his chest.
"It's almost time, Pads," you smiled and leaned into his arms.
He sighed disappointedly, "Fine.. Go ahead and leave your charming boyfriend all alone".
You snorted at his dramatics, "It's your party my charming boyfriend, so it'll be better if you go and get dressed too".
"What's the colour of your dress?" He asked softly and touched his cheek to yours, his chin resting on your shoulder.
"I'll match my shirt to that".
You smirked at that, "Quite a romantic man aren't you, Black?"
"You don't even know," he said and blushed embarrassedly.
"Don't worry I like it," you chuckled at his flustered face and purposefully pressed a kiss extremely near to his lips, but not touching the area.
He gave you a look of betrayal as you climbed up the stairs and stuck your tongue out at him.
Up in the dorm, the girls were doing some last finishing touches and scanning themselves in the mirrors.
"Damn do we look good," Marlene smirked and the rest all grinned.
"Let's go now. It's time," Dorcas said and one by one, they stepped down the stairs, naturally gaining everyone's attention.
"Damn girls," James whistled and the other Marauders turned to look towards what he was staring at with so intesity.
Sirius smiled appreciatively as they all came into sight, his head moved around and he felt his heart almost stop at seeing you.
His mouth opened involuntarily and his breathing became irregular. A faint flush coated his cheeks as he took in your appearance, eyes glazing over every detail with love and admiration.
You smiled shyly after Lily pointed out to how your man was staring at you. You bit your lip before walking over to him.
"Looking handsome, Sirius," you complimented him genuinely and put your hand on his torso.
His arm was immediately around your waist, pulling you closer and he too smiled sincerely, "You're more beautiful".
You were not able to fight off the blush and him caressing you cheek didn't help either. He laughed softly at the red hue on your neck and cheekbones before kissing you gently.
The room erupted into applause and the couple grinned before everyone went back to drinking and dancing.
Many people were wishing and giving gifts to Sirius while you and the Marauders were spinning around on the dance floor. Laughing out loud and swaying to the music.
"Come on, Rem!" You smirked and pulled the tall boy onto the dancefloor.
He smiled and twirled you around as a much softer song started playing. You two were spinning around crazily, laughing hard at your childish antics.
"Hey James," you chuckled as Remus' place was taken by the messy-haired boy. He just winked at you and spun you skillfully.
After some dancing you excused yourself as your feet were hurting a little due to those heels. You sat down near the drinks table and took a small shot of firewhisky.
"Tired so soon, my love?" A familiar voice was heard making you smile and you turned.
"Not everyone has your hyperactive nature, Black. Some get tired pretty easily".
He grinned and gently took hold of your hands, beckoning you to stand up. You did and he pulled you towards him.
"We've still got to dance," he reminded and swayed the two of you to the rhythm. Your head was on his shoulder and arms around his neck.
He pulled apart after some time and locked eyes with you, his loving grey ones staring deep into yours and a small smile appeared on his face after scanning your features.
"What?" You questioned at his look.
He shook his head and looked down for a bit before answering, "Thank you".
"Everything," he said simply.
You laughed softly and leaned forward to kiss his cheek, "Always".
Sirius Black smiled as he hugged you tightly, keeping you close to him. He raised his head to look around and felt his lips stretch more at the sight of James, Remus and Peter laughing out loud.
He then looked down at you, nestled so comfortably in his arms and his chest felt warm and fuzzy.
These people were his true family, he thought to himself. They were the ones to constantly be there, ever single time, whenever he needed help.
And they would be there. He knew.
===============================
You can see the world, following the seasons anywhere you go. You don't need a reason 'cause they never showed you love. You don't have to be sorry for doin' it on your own.
A tap was what pulled your mind out of the book that you were reading with intense concentration. Your face lit up at seeing your owl outside the window.
You quickly opened it and he flew in immediately, dropping the letter on your desk before settling into his cage and drinking water from the small dish.
You stroked his feathers as a thanks and eagerly opened the envelope. Out fell quite a few photographs and you gathered them all before taking your time in looking at every one of them.
A fond smile was seen on your face at the bright and happy look of your boyfriend. He had sent you many pictures of himself and he was smiling in all of them.
A chuckle escaped your lips at seeing one of James tackling him to the ground and the two laughing like a pair of idiots.
You were glad he was enjoying himself to the fullest despite his concerns about the trip. Though you had managed to somehow convince him to go and you were pleased at your decision.
He was out there on a trip with the Potters. It was actually a business trip but Mr Potter had agreed to take the two boys along with him and his wife.
A whipped look was now etched on your features as you stared at another photo. He really was beautiful, too good to be true. What with that soft, long hair, piercing grey eyes, and mischievous smirk, he was quite a sight for sore eyes.
You shook your head at how in love you were with this boy and finally put down the pictures to read his letter.
My love, my darling, my beautiful girlfriend, my lovely girl.
It's me, your favourite person and don't you dare deny it and say Remus is your favourite! I know that's not true, or I hope so.
It's so awesome here!! And I know that I said this in the previous letter, but I'd like to make you more and more jealous.
But honestly, love. Everything's so beautiful. I'm enjoying every second of this trip and I hate to say this, but you were right. I just know you have that proud smirk on your face. Yeah yeah, whatever.
Monty and Mia were both out so me and James had almost the whole day to ourselves. We slept late in the night, woke up late too and did quite a lot of crazy stuff.
I am really happy here and have gotten a lot more handsome just in the span of one week. You'll see it for yourself in the pictures.
But darling, I miss you. A lot. I can't wait to get back and hug you tight, and kiss you and cuddle with you and do everything that I've been missing heavily. Hope you're not having too much fun without me. Also I've got some for you and I'm sure you're going to love it.
After school, I promise you we'll go somewhere. Just the two of us. I've already got placed planned and the first one is Paris, can't miss the city of love now can we?
It's nice roaming around in here, but would've been a lot better if you were here with me. I can't wait until we both travel the whole world together. Hand in hand.
Your handsome, funny, sweet, adorable, charming, wonderful, fantastic boyfriend, Sirius xx
Laughter came spilling out from your lips after you finished reading his letter. It was almost like he was in front of you himself.
You missed him too, dearly. But you knew he had to spend time with himself for awhile, just enjoying without any worry. He had to relish in the feelings of being young before it was too late.
===============================
You're just in time make your tea and your toast. You framed all your posters and dyed your clothes. Ooh. You don't have to go, you don't have to go home. Oh there's a long way to go. I don't believe that time will change your mind. In other words I know, they won't, hurt you anymore as long as you can let them go.
Exams had finished, every student breathed a sigh of relief at the end of non-stop studying, stress and pressure.
All of the fifth and seventh years were the loudest to cheer after the last paper. Them being understandably more happy at the examinations finally being over.
But there was also a little bit of a sullen atmosphere amongst the eldest students. For the seventh years, the end of exams also meant the end of their final year.
And they weren't ready. Not at all.
The Marauders were in the same condition. Ecstatic to be free of studies for awhile, but not at all wanting to leave this place.
This castle, that was the comfort place of many after their home. And to some, Hogwarts was their only home.
You had finished eating dinner and were walking around the corridors, taking in every little thing before you had to leave. You smiled at seeing a particular portrait, behind which was a secret room.
A lot of memories came flooding in.
And as thoughts ran, the smile slipped off to a gloomy look. You wanted to be young again. Experience everything right from the start, just one last time. But it wasn't possible.
"Love?" Sirius' voice called softly. He walked over to you and furrowed his eyebrows at your figure standing in the dark.
"Yeah," you replied and his frown deepened at hearing your voice shake, he stood in front of you and noticed your glistening eyes.
He wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you closer and placed his warm palm on your cheek, "What's wrong?"
You let out a small chuckle and blinked rapidly to get rid of the tears that were welling, "Nothing. Just being silly that's all".
But he raised an eyebrow and knew something was troubling you, "Tell me!" He insisted.
You looked down and then up at him again, your lips pursed, "We're going to leave in a couple of days. I don't wanna go".
"Neither do I," he sighed and backed you against the wall. His hands coming to your waist and your foreheads touching. "This place feels too familiar, too home-like to just leave like that".
"Darling," he trailed off with a sad look as a tear did escape from your hold. He instantly wiped it off and cupped your face. His heart aching slightly because he knew how much Hogwarts meant for you, knew how hard it must be to depart from a place that was your home.
You sniffed and smiled at him, "It's okay, I'm fine. I'm fine".
"You sure?" He asked and looked you right in the eye to confirm. He then nodded and kissed you gently before putting his arm around your shoulder.
"Let's go to the kitchens after some time. We'll take the rest too".
"Yeah," you nodded enthusiastically and the two of you entered the common room.
The room was empty except for James, Remus and Peter who were resting on the couches and armchairs.
"You alright?" Remus inquired you, him naturally being the most observant.
"Yeah I'm good," you gave him a genuine smile and he nodded. You then grinned and looked at James, "Where's the future Mrs Potter, Prongs?"
The hazel-eyed boy blushed while the rest snickered, "She's up in the dorm. Told me she wanted to sleep early".
"You're really going to propose to her after school?" Peter asked curiously.
"Not immediately after, but yeah," he smiled and shared a glance with Sirius.
"Never thought you'd get a girl that's a whole lot better than you," Sirius teased him.
"Well, I could say the same about you, Black," James retorted with a smirk making the other roll his eyes.
"Where d'you think we'll go? After school I mean?" Remus asked with a small frown.
"I'm gonna live with my parents for sometime before getting my own place," James said and you nodded as that was your answer too.
"I'm not going back," they all heard a small mumble come from the grey-eyed boy.
"Sirius?" Peter said cautiously.
"I'm not going back there," he said again with a desperate look.
"You are not going back. Never," you answered firmly. "You're either gonna live with me or James. Your choice".
"Yeah...." He responded but he was certainly thinking about something.
"Hey mate," James got up from his place and placed his hands on Sirius' shoulder. "You are not going there, and they won't come looking for you as well".
"You're an adult now, Pads. It's your life ahead, you get to make the choices," Remus said softly.
"I'll get my own place," he said. "My- My Uncle left me some money and I think I can buy a flat with that. Will you come and stay with me?" He asked you uncertainly.
"Of course I will," you smiled reassuringly. "I'd be happy to".
"You can come over anytime. Mum and Dad will love it too," grinned James.
"Sirius," the brown-haired boy muttered after seeing him still overthinking. "I want you to understand this, which is that you've left them now. You've removed yourself, and rightfully so from them".
"Which means," you intervened and Sirius looked at you. "They can't hurt you. They can never, as long as you continue on with your life without any worry".
"I'll maybe invite Reggie to come over once he's graduated too," he said brightly and you laughed, agreeing with him.
"We're definitely not ready," you said and then shrugged. "But I know for a fact that it's gonna be one hell of a ride".
"For sure," Remus chuckled and all of you shared a laugh, nervous but excited to explore your lives.
===============================
You can let it go, you can throw a party full of everyone you know. You can start a family who will always show you love. You don't have to be sorry, for doin' it on your own.
To say that Sirius Black was nervous would be a huge understatement. He was absolutely terrified as the day came nearer and nearer.
He wasn't even understanding the reason behind his scared nature. He was sure of his decision and knew your answer too.
But that little bit of insecurity. That tiny part of him was screaming every negative thought there was and making him more anxious to go on with his choice.
He was always thinking about every possible outcome, every result and every line he thought you would utter after hearing his confession.
And of course, in such matters James Potter was the least helpful person.
"I'm not doing this," Sirius groaned and grabbed his hair in frustration. Another evil thought had sneaked it's way into his mind. Telling him that you were surely going to leave him on the spot.
"Thirtieth time this week," Peter grinned and James snorted.
"Have some feelings can't you?" Remus attempted to scold them but he too was biting back a smile.
"She's gonna say no, she's gonna say no," the boy hyperventilated and started panicking.
"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!" James, Remus and Peter yelled in unison, all very annoyed.
"She is not going to say no".
"So you better man up now".
"What's the matter here?" Marlene asked and the girls settled down on the couches.
"Just Sirius being dramatic," James answered and wrapped his arms around Lily as soon as she had sat next to him.
"I'm not being dramatic," the boy in question grumbled angrily.
"Okay, what's the plan?" Dorcas raised an eyebrow, already knowing the topic.
"There's no plan. Not yet atleast," responded Remus and glanced at Sirius' curled up form.
"You do know that girl loves you more than she loves herself, right?" Lily said with a pointed look.
"I know..." Sirius mumbled.
"First tell me are you sure? Do you truly and honestly want this?"
"More than anything," he immediately said firmly making Lily nod.
"She loves you a lot. More than you think she does," Dorcas smiled. "And you're not getting married the next day, it's just a proposal".
"But what if it's too soon? What if she doesn't want to get engaged? We haven't even graduated yet!"
"It is soon, I agree. But the times aren't right too," Marlene consoled. "We have a very less chance to make it out alive of this. Everyone knows that. So better to enjoy than regret".
"And if she says it's too soon, tell her you'll get married after sometime. Just say everything from your heart and I promise you it'll be fine," Dorcas grinned.
"And I know for a fact that it won't be soon for her," Lily added. "Even she knows how dark these days are and will be".
He nodded, feeling his chest lighten at their words.
It was quite late in the night but sleep wasn't coming easily to Sirius, he was lying awake. Had been since a long time.
He was up thinking. Again.
He was sure you weren't going to leave him, but a slightest possibility was still there.
He sighed and massaged his temple, debating on whether he should go up to your dormitory or not.
He got up a second later, knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep without you. Certainly not with those thoughts torturing his brain.
He silently tip-toed out of the room and muttered a spell before climbing the staircases. Quietly, the door was pushed open and a silencing charm was casted around your bed.
He slowly pushed the curtains apart and felt a smile grow on his face at seeing you in his Gryffindor sweater. He sat on the edge of the bed and tried to settle down without making any noise and movement.
Your eyes fluttered open after feeling something brush against your waist. You groggily looked to your side to see a familiar head of long locks nuzzling in your neck.
Your tensed body relaxed and you started running your fingers through his hair, feeling him release a long breath.
"Everythin' okay?" You asked in a raspy voice.
"All good," he whispered and kissed your cheek before resting his head on your chest and wrapping his arms around your waist.
"Sleep now," you murmured and he hummed. "I love you".
He smiled and lifted his head to look at you. Seeing you lying there with your eyes closed and your hair falling out of the braid, all tousled and messy.
He sensed his heart warming up as he said, "I love you too".
===============================
You can let it go, you can throw a party full of everyone you know. You can start a family who will always show you love. You don't have to be sorry, no.
Today was the day, the day when Sirius Black was going to propose to his girlfriend.
And he had a bright grin on his face from the moment he woke up. He put a little more effort in his looks after bathing and the boys all teased him mercilessly.
"I never thought I'd see you so whipped over a girl," James laughed as he watched his best friend styling his hair.
"But said girl is not just any girl, Prongs," Remus grinned as he saw Sirius blush.
"Piss off," he muttered and took one last look in the mirror before turning away.
"Here, give her this," said Peter and handed Sirius a beautiful red rose, your favorite flower of all time.
"Thanks Wormtail," his smile widened as he bid them goodbye before excitedly running down the stairs.
"He's having it bad," James chuckled and shook his head fondly.
Sirius came to an abrupt halt at the foot of the stairs and scanned the common room, his grey eyes searching for you in the half-crowded place.
"She's there," said Remus from behind him and pointed to where you were sitting near the window.
He nodded and walked over to his girl, taking in your features as you basked in the natural sunlight that was pouring in. You were wearing your usual outfit, dark blue jeans and a light coloured shirt.
"Morning!" Sirius chirped and you jumped a little as he stood next to you, his hands behind his back.
"Good morning," you laughed and your eyes widened in surprise at seeing a gorgeous rose being presented. "For me?"
"No, for James," he smirked and you rolled your eyes.
"What's the occasion?" You asked with raised eyebrows and twirled the flower between your fingers.
"Can't a guy just give his girlfriend a flower without any reason?"
"Of course he can," you said and looked at his cheery face with a suspicious gaze. "You're definitely planning something".
He let out a dramatic sigh, "Merlin look at this! A man is not even allowed to gift his girlfriend nowadays".
"Oh shut up you drama queen," you laughed and were pressed back against the window as he towered over you.
"Make me," he smirked and you did, of course you bloody did.
"I did," you smirked back after seeing his dazed and blank face after you had kissed him.
And that moment was when Sirius felt more in love, the already huge amount of adoration he held for you seemed to increase once again.
Throughout the day, he was acting like his usual self but a whole lot affectionate and touchy. You didn't mind obviously, you just knew there had to be something.
You went upstairs to your dorm to grab the book you were currently reading and were surprised to find a piece of paper kept on it.
You leaned forward and picked it up curiously to read the note.
"In you, I've found the love of my life and my closest, truest friend". - Sirius
A blush was quick to arise on your cheeks as they were lifted upwards by your smile. This boy was surely going to melt you someday.
You stared at the note for another second before keeping it carefully in your diary.
Later at evening, you were lying couch of the common room. Eyes closed while the soft tune of the radio played.
You were too immersed in the song to notice Remus entering the room and calling your name. Only when he tapped your arm did you register his presence.
"Oh hey," you smiled at him and sat up straight.
"You have to get dressed, like now and be ready here in ten minutes".
Your stared at him, dumbfounded. "What?"
He stopped a snort at your face but repeated himself, "Get dressed and come down here in ten minutes. No questions!" He added once you had opened your mouth.
"But what on earth should I even wear if I don't know where I'm going?" You reasoned as the boy kept pushing you towards the stairs by your shoulders.
"Just put on any dress," he said impatiently. "Not overly fancy, just something nice".
"This better not be some kind of prank," you said warningly before shutting the dormitory door behind you.
Fifteen minutes later, you were there in the common room.
"Good?" You asked and looked down at the simple but elegant outfit.
"Perfect," he nodded with a smile and looped your arm through his to take the lead.
"Where are we going?" You asked, curious after he had lead you out in the grounds.
He took you further away from the castle and you were too busy scanning the surroundings to notice your boyfriend pacing around restlessly.
"Here we are," Remus said and your head snapped forward.
"Sirius?" You called, gaining the boy's attention. "Rem? What's going on?"
But the sandy-haired boy just gave you a wink before walking back. You frowned and then looked questioningly at Sirius who was dressed quite nicely as well.
He took your hand and led you over to a small hill top, his eyes never leaving yours. He didn't say anything and just gestured towards the sky.
You looked to where he was pointing and smiled broadly at the beautiful starry night. "It's beautiful," you agreed.
"I wanted to talk," he broke the silence and turned his body towards you with you doing the same.
He gave you a small smile before saying, "You told me in the morning that I was planning something when I have you that rose. And you were right," he finished, laughing a little at your triumphant look.
"I wanna talk about something important, so I thought it'd be good if we were nicely dressed and were somewhere that's quiet".
He gave a nervous laugh, "I don't even know how to start this so I'm just gonna blurt everything out. Don't you laugh, okay?" He warned and you pressed your lips together to prevent a smile.
"I love you," he went directly to the point. "I wish I could explain just how wonderful you are, explain just how safe I feel with you, explain just how much your mere presence has helped me".
You were staring right back at him, your face not holding anything but love. For him.
"I really want to tell you how much I love you, but I'm at a loss of words for that," he chuckled a little. "It's not just any feeling, it's definitely not like something I've experienced before. Maybe that's why I can't properly describe it. I can't even understand how I went from loving you as a best friend to loving you romantically".
"I fell for you," he admitted. "Hard. I fell in love the way you fall asleep. Slowly, and then all at once. It was exhilarating but godric was it beautiful".
"All those days I was drowning with hatred, pity, shame, disdain," he listed off with a small frown. "You helped me, cured me, saved me in every way a person can be saved. There was just something about you that made me feel myself and not pretend to be someone I don't know. I fell in love with you because you loved me when I couldn't love myself," he said and you saw his grey eyes glistening silver with emotion.
Your heart was racing as he confessed, your throat tightening and burning as you held back the tears.
"We're a complicated mess, you and I," he laughed tearfully. "But I think that's what makes us awesome".
He then sniffed and cleared his throat, "So now to conclude this immaculate confession. I want to be with you, for the rest of my life. At the end of the day, I want to be the person you come home to, the one with whom you share your secrets, your laughs, cries and everything".
"You are the finest, loveliest, the most tender person I've ever met. And even that, my love, is an understatement," he cupped your cheek to wipe your tears.
He then moved back one step and knelt down on one knee, watching your mouth open a little and your eyes widen.
"I just want you, that's all. I want all your flaws, mistakes, smiles, laughter, jokes, sarcasm. I just want you. We went from being strangers to friends, best friends, lovers, and now I think I'm ready for the next step".
You let out a shaky breath as you bit your lip in anticipation at his words.
"Will you, my love? Will you let me be the person who gets to wake up next to you everyday, gets to kiss you, hug you, cuddle you every single day?"
You were already nodding involuntarily, your breathing ragged and uneven.
"Will you marry me?" He finally asked and your face split into a huge, teary-eyed smile.
You looked at him fully. Sirius Black, your man kneeling down on one knee, waiting for your answer. His gaze fixated on you and you only, an overwhelming love present in his grey eyes. His long locks framing his defined face and swaying gently.
This was the man you loved. A little bit messy, a little bit ruined. A beautiful disaster. Just like you.
"Yes," you whispered and his lips stretched wide as he removed the ring to slip it on your finger. "A thousand times yes".
As soon as the ring was placed, you pulled him upwards and threw your arms around his neck, hugging him tight.
Tears were falling down both of your cheeks, but neither of you cared. Too lost in the moment, too lost in each other.
But of course, being friends with the Marauders meant that you couldn't go a lot of time without being interrupted.
And an ear-splitting applause was what made the two of you pull apart slightly. There was everyone, bright grins and smirks etched on their faces as they shouted and wolf-whistled.
You looked at them and laughed, your hands on Sirius' chest as his went on your cheeks to wipe your tears. He smiled again before kissing you with a newfound passion and love, emitting another wave of thunderous clapping from your friends.
Sirius pulled away and looked at them. Seeing James' laughing face, Remus' proud and emotional expression, Peter's fond gaze, Lily's ecstatic grin, Marlene's annoying smirk, Dorcas' teary eyes and Regulus' grin, the brightest of all.
His eyes then fell on you. On your slightly messy hair, on your tear-stained face, red nose and loving smile.
Who said family always had to be blood-related? Family is about who's willing to hold your hand when you need it the most.
Family are the ones who claim you. In good, in bad, in parts, in whole. They're the ones to show up, to stay regardless of anything.
And for Sirius Black, it were all these people. Every single one of them.
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