Weird request from Lucifer today.
I've been doing a lot of studying- mostly into possession and whatnot now- we were having a little study day. And he started asking me questions about our progression or 'journey' together. Specifically how things have evolved between us. How I've grown etc.
"Did you ever think vesselhood would be your trajectory when we first met years ago?"
No, not at all. I didn't even know that was a thing.
"Do you think your past self would be surprised at who you've become?"
"Do you remember everything that has happened between us?"
Mostly. That's why I write stuff down.
I was confused as to why he was asking me all these questions. Maybe he's feeling a bit nostalgic today.
But then he made me a request. He asked me if I could write for him a narrative, like a novel, from my perspective, starting from my first attempts to contact him all the way up until now. Exploring each phase in our dynamic, the eventual vessel training, and so on. He wanted me to write it in great detail, with chapters, descriptions, even ritual details. And then, if I was comfortable, I could post it somewhere. He specifically suggested AO3 which I found very odd because I assumed that was only really for fan content of pre-existing works. (But I suppose??? He is technically a pre-existing character??????? So itd be an autobiographical self x character fic????)
I mean I already document and post a lot of the stuff we do. But I haven't ever tried to write a neat chronological narrative about us. My ritual reports come off very simplistic, I try not to go too far with poetic descriptions or aesthetics because they're more so for educational- documentary purposes than art. (Or just me word vomiting)
For one, I figured he'd prefer some of that stuff stay unwritten. The stuff I don't write is far more intimate than the stuff I do. And secondly, why?
So I did ask him, what for?
And he said it was for his own enjoyment, a devotional act. He'd want to see how I treat us both as characters in a narrative. But he also made the comment that it would be among one of the first comprehensive first person perspectives on long term deity work with him, and among the only un-interfered accounts on possession. I would eventually be writing about sacred union, astral sex and the works, not anthropologically, and not hypothetically, but literally, as I have experienced them. The way it saves and breaks you. Any random onlooker (if anyone even read it) would get to decide for themselves if the work was a documentation of reality or a fantastic form of occult fiction.
I am not apart of a coven or a mystery school. I have no teacher or guide beyond my spirits, I come from no tradition, and I don't do group rituals. My entire path has been self defined, certainly influenced by the works of others, definitely, but ultimately solitary. Not according to any one organized path, and still actively evolving. He said my experiences as a solitary witch are unique in the larger scope of "initiatory" literature.
And that brushed against my other 'issue'- of writing a narrative that is still actively unfolding. I haven't become a full vessel yet, I'm still in the middle of the process. If I start recollecting everything that's happened so far, wont I catch up to myself??
And he told me that I would likely never catch up to myself if I was writing with enough detail. This would be a kind of great work in itself.
This wasn't a command or assignment, meaning I don't have to say yes. It was more so just a request.
I guess I don't have much reason to refuse?
My main objection is that I think some folks would find it to be a far more boring read than expected. There's a lot of cool sexy stuff, but a lot more long conversations about random bullshit.
