#mc swd

[necromantiix]

oh . u know.

[hahahaarson]

Fuck it incorrect quotes time since I have no requests and/or ideas!

Obey Me! Incorrect Quotes:

********************

Satan : Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you'll be fined.

Leviathan : Heck.

Satan : You're on thin fucking ice.

Satan : Oh no-

********************

Barbatos : Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??

Mc : Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

Leviathan : Why were you microwaving a lemon???

Mc : I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots.

Simeon: Did you burn an orange too? How???

Mc : Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

********************

Satan: Yeah I'm LGBT.

Satan: cuLt leader.

Satan: God hates me personally.

Satan: cowBoy hat.

Satan: *sniffles* Trying my best.

********************

Belphegor: What? I'm not aggressive!

Luke: Last Tuesday, you wacked me with a pair of crocs and stole my chocolate chips?

Belphegor: Survival of the fittest, bitch.

********************

Barbatos : What do rainbows mean to you?

Asmodeus : Gay rights.

Mammon : There's money.

Simeon : The sign of God's promise to never destroy the whole Earth with a flood.

Satan : It is an optical phenomenon that separates sunlight into its continuous spectrum when the sun shines on raindrops.

********************

Mammon: I’m quick at math.

Belphegor: Ok, what’s 38 times 76?

Mammon: 24.

Belphegor: That wasn’t even close.

Mammon: But it was quick.

********************

Diavolo : Do you have any idea what you’re doing?

Mc : Why start now?

********************

Lucifer: Why are your tongues purple?

Asmodeus : We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Solomon : I had a red one.

Lucifer: oh.

Lucifer:

Lucifer: OH.

Luke:

Luke: You drank eachothers slushies?

********************

Leviathan : Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”.

Leviathan : But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”. Ugh.

********************

*DISCLAIMER ~ I used a generator for this and posted the best/most accurate/?funniest? ones.*

Thanks for reading, I might make more but idk.

[butlike-obeyme]

MC : is mammon asleep or dead?

Levi : hopefully dead i hated him.

Satan : yeah me too

Mammon : ok first of all fuck all of you-

[jum-aca]

*on a picnic with Beelzebub, while eating fruits*

MC : So... Is this a date?

Beel : No, it's a plum.

*later than day*

Beel *realizing what MC really meant to ask* : oh.

[gaoxkuma]

👿👿👿👿👿👿👿 🔫🐏

[agent-yolk-writes]

You're My Dad! Boogie Woogie Woogie! (Diavolo & Reader)

Ever wanted to call Diavolo your dad? No? Well too bad, I have the perfect fic for you down below!

AO3 Version Here!

If you like my writing, please let me know! My inbox is empty and it's hungry for OM content.

Bold = Diavolo's text

Italicized and Indented = MC's text

Like every natural disaster, it came without a warning.

It started off like every other day. Wake up, go to RAD, do student council duties, go home, sleep, repeat. Of course, there would be an occasional (read: frequent) occasion outside of the standard norm, but today was not one of those times.

“Here you go!” You handed Diavolo your latest finished report. “I’ve even separated the approved and rejected request forms and sorted them alphabetically for easier reading.” You said proudly. Sure enough, the Prince quickly thumbed through one of the piles and made a noise in his throat that sounded positive.

Next thing you know, he gives you one of his iconic smiles. “Excellent work as always, MC.” He tells you. “Your help is always appreciated! Thanks to you, we’ve made a tremendous dent in all this paperwork. We couldn’t have done it without you.”

The praise he was pouring on you felt so good. You try not to visibly react to it, but your brain dumped a massive pool of serotonin from his words alone. Hell, you can even feel your cheeks warming up. It always felt good to be praised by your peers, but there was something about the way Diavolo praises you that fuels you to work hard for the next one. While you were chasing that high and not wanting to be rude you simply replied with,

“Thanks, dad.”

And all of Devildom seemed to freeze over. You could hear Lucifer’s pen dropping to the floor behind you while Mammon choked on something somewhere else in the room. There were no sounds of papers being written or even talking. All eyes landed on you as the reality of what you said started to sink in.

Oh fuck, did you call the Prince of Literal Hell your Dad? Well, he’s such a huge guy and acts almost exactly like those kind-hearted fathers you always see on social media in your realm. It doesn’t help that your actual dad kinda sucks, so maybe this is projection at work. Sadly, the damage has already been done. You could see Diavolo’s face turn from confusion to amusement in a matter of seconds.

“I...I…” Your already red face got darker when you heard the faint snickering coming from Barbatos. Fearing that your rapid heart bursting through your chest, you can only manage to squeak a “Bye!” Before dashing out of the building and out of the academy.

So here you are, holed up in your honorary room at Purgatory Hall while your D.D.D. continues to blow up on the nightstand next to the bed. You couldn’t go back to the HOL, not immediately at least. You felt so embarrassed that you called your housemates’s semi-boss your father.

At least the residents at Purgatory Hall understood your human err. Solomon did give you some shit about it, but that was a given because, well, it’s Solomon. If he wasn’t teasing you about this, then you would have bigger fish to fry in Hell. Simeon was the most sympathetic person about your current predicament while Luke was just happy that you’re hanging out for a few hours. He can complain about the demons later.

You just hope this shitshow cools down soon. Maybe a nap will calm you down.

~

Hours have passed. Still afraid to look at your phone, your only indicator of time passing was Simeon coming up to your room with a tray of tonight’s dinner with a side dish almost overflowing with cookies courtesy of Luke. Bless these angels, both of them.

And sure enough, your phone stopped vibrating non-stop. Before you could deduce that the battery died, a singular buzz proved otherwise. Damn it.

Still, you couldn’t avoid the brothers forever. They’ll probably kick up another storm of messages since you haven’t replied to them initially. With a defeated sigh, you grabbed your phone and unlocked it. Let's see...143 messages in the HOL+Royals group chat, 103 messages in the HOL group chat, 87 messages from Mammon, 15 messages from Asmo, 10 messages from Lucifer, 5 messages from Levi, 1 message from Satan, 2 messages from Diavolo-

...2 messages from Diavolo. Sent a minute ago. Welp, no use avoiding him either since he’s the sole reason you’re even in Hell in the first place.

MC! Are you alright? You sure ran out of the room quite fast. I didn’t know humans could reach those speeds.

I apologize if I offended you somehow.

With a big gulp, you started writing back.

im okay! Hunkering down at Purgatory atm

if anything, I should be apologizing to you lol

Five minutes passed before he texted back.

That’s good to hear! (smiling devimoji)

Hopefully the brothers haven’t bothered you too much from this.

you have no idea.

(gurgle devimoji)

I have to say, you certainly caused a stir. I couldn’t help but wonder about something.

MC, do you see me as a father figure?

uh, no? If anything, I see you as a bother figure

cuz your always bothering me

God damn you, brain! Think before you speak for fuck’s sake! Quick, do something that'll lessen the blow!

lol

Nailed it!

(hehe devimoji)

I see.

I have been called many things, good and bad, because of my position. Being called dad is a new one.

It’s certainly not...unpleasant.

He’s going to kill you at this rate. You know he will.

ill make sure not to do it again. sorry chief

tho im sure i caused a riot during the meeting

No worries!

And you left it like that. Your mind was pulling blanks on how to respond. You could figure it out as you reply to the others, but you really don’t have the mental fortitude to face them now that Diavolo is embracing his new moniker happily.

And of course, think about the demon prince and he shall appear. Again. What he sent made you groan into your pillow.

How about this weekend we can talk about what human fathers normally do over some sandwiches and tea?

...that sounds nice

Great! Looking forward to it!

(smiling devimoji)

Even though this whole ordeal was embarrassing, you couldn’t help but smile at the prospect of your future meetup. While your actual dad had no redeemable qualities about him, there were always memes.

Curling up in your bed, you begin your hunt across the Demon Web with a VPN that lets you access human websites in order to bring your A-Game this weekend.

Maybe this turned out to be a good thing, after all.

[oops-i-wrote-it]

Responses to "are you okay?" when they're clearly not

Lucifer

"..."

Only needs to give you A Look in response for you to have your answer

Sometimes answers with "I am fine." And if you could verbalise punctuation, he would emphasise every comma, period, everything. He's almost too concise.

Mammon

"Whaddya think? Do I look okay?!"

Apologises profusely after snapping

Expresses his problems in either angry shouts, or more honest mutterings after letting his feelings settle

Leviathan

"No! It's all because-"

Gives a long-winded verbal essay on why he's not okay but feels better after letting it all out

Can't sit still until he tires himself out, his brain is running a mile a minute and ends up making impulse purchases on Akuzon to feel something other than worry.

Satan

"Well, let's see. Firstly we have-"

Listing all his problems in a way that makes him sound snappy and sarcastic but it actually helps him think and form a plan

Appears calm but REALLY ISNT

Asmodeus

"I'll be just fine ❤️"

That's when you know when something is really wrong, and there's nothing you or anyone else can do about it. Asmo is normally one of the first to complain about a problem, alarm bells ring when he isn't griping.

Focuses on trying to calm down MC instead, and talk through their feelings rather than his own, and is only sometimes aware that he's deflecting

Beelzebub

"I guess..."

He and Belphie are the quietest of the brothers by miles... But he's too quiet.

Will sit and wallow in his feelings with a completely straight face for hours if no-one stops him, so he appreciates the person-to-person contact

Belphegor

Another quiet one. Can and will dodge the question.

Instead he forms plans about what can be done about the situation, even if he repeats one a few times.

Just needs to be touching someone and to be listened to. Finds comfort in non-verbal communication.

[superblizzardgarden]

(how mc entered the Devildom)

Mc: Making my way downtown..

Barbatos:*opens a portal behind them

Mc: *notices

Mc: Walking fast...

Barbatos: *Starts walking towards them

Mc: Jogging fast...

Barbatos: *Starts dabbing something into a tissue

Mc: Running fast...

Barbatos: *Starts running after them

Mc: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!