Jan 2
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; having bad memory is absolutely terrifying when you realize you genuinely CAN'T remember something. it's gone, maybe it never happened, you've forgotten something and it's soso scary.
; seems like whenever we start fronting we can no longer remember what happened in headspace until we start talking about it ?? like, we'll have 0 memory of what has happened then someone will ask like " anyways what've you been up too " and we start getting snippets of memory/more the longer we talk about it ?? and with fronting, since I'm almost always doing so you'd think I have perfect memory of what happens, but there's gaps in it whenever someone else co-fronts/influences with me ? like whenever someone co-fronts, I'm pushed to the side and forget most of what happened, then when they stop co-fronting I'm just. lost. and if they share what happened the memories slowly come back ??
; or I'll have memories of something happening but it's very vague and more like they're < giving > me those memories and less I'm actually remembering .. idk, just thoughts
- myles / blurry ? ( they/them )
Idk if this happens to anyone else but as an agabpunk person with memory issues I genuinely forget my agab sometimes.
Growing up I had a completely gender indifferent mindset until puberty hit and I was suddenly forced into one of two neatly organized gender boxes without wanting to be. I literally didn't even know about a lot of the physical differences between sexes until about right before puberty, and never really understood why kids or anyone at all was divided up unto two different categories until then. Even then and still now it seems arbitrary to me to stereotype and categorize someone by physical traits they can't control.
Maybe my past obliviousness has a bit to do with me forgetting my agab all the time too lol. Honestly my childhood mindset just makes me think I was always agabpunk, and now I just have a word for my experience.
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