#mod advice

[this-is-transandrophobia]

(🍑<- to find later)

Will start this by saying that this is NOT a submission I am actually here to ask for help ><

So, I am a lesbian. My sexuality is not fluid, I am only interested in nonmen, and even mascs can be iffy for me sometimes, because I just really like effeminate people. (Some of it may also be trauma, I'm not sure yet)

Recently, someone who I'm friends with came out as a trans man after being an "andro(gynous) girl-thing" (<-his words) for a while. He also asked me out.

Without dumping a whole lot of info, bascially, I was kinda interested in him before but I am not now. He knows I'm a lesbian, but he also knows that I was interested before because we'd jokingly flirt and he'd tease me and get me flustered.

Is it transandrophobia that I'm not interested anymore? Would it be, if I told him that his gender is why I'm no longer interested? I don't wanna be an asshole and give him the impression that I'd like him better if he were still a girl, but I don't wanna lie and let him think I'm still okay with how we used to act. It feels different now, and I'm not okay with it anymore, but I don't want him to think it's his fault or that I don't still wanna be friends.

Sorry for the half-vent I'm really really stressed jwbd

I figured the best place to go to ask what I should do so I'm not a complete asshole to him would be here (i dont have any other social media to cry into the abyss to, so no reddit threads for me lol). If this isn't an okay ask or if I should go somewhere else please feel free to crop this part and say so or send me off to a better resource!!

Not transandrophobia.

As long as you can openly communicate that you should be okay. Obviously I can't guarantee that this guy isn't secretly a scumbag, but from the way you've described him it sounds like a simple "It's nothing against you, I'm just interested in more feminine people" would work wonders. You looking to go about it in the nicest way possible is a green flag, and I hope y'all can remain friends :)

[ask-captain-barnacles]

Captain, I need an advice from someone as strong as you are.

How do you stop yourself from thinking you're a failure?

(OOC: I've had a very bad day)

…I don’t really stop myself from thinking that. It’s hard to completely avoid that train of thought. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is simply try to keep ourselves from spiraling. I’ll go check in on Kwazii or the others and try to distract myself.

Ooc: sorry for late-ish reply. Actually, I was kinda happy to see this ask, cause I had a shitty day too. Hope things worked out. When I feel myself starting to spiral, I normally just watch something stupid that I know will make me laugh. Danny Motta is my go-to ‘sadness youtuber’, because I know I’ll end up laughing by the end of his videos, and it helps me forget all about everything else. Highly recommend this method. -Starry

[intuspluric-culture-is]

Hi, Ik This Is Not Smth You Guys Normally Do So Feel Free To Not Answer This, But I'm The Host Of A Relatively New System, & I Just Needed A Direct Confirmation That This Is Okay & Normal Bc I Am In Love With Another Alter & She Loves Me Back, So, Just A Little Confirmation For A Newbie

~~ ☀️x🍭

It's absolutely normal! I mean, this whole blog is for people who relate to loving their headmates and being in relationships with them, right? So don't worry, you're good ^^

[hypocrisyofandrewdobson]

I've been wanting to get into making art and webcomics, but I fear deep down that I could turn into someone like dobson. Any advice for how to avoid that?

In terms of general “how not to be a Dobson”, advice, I’d say the best way to avoid it can be found here.

how do i NOT become a dobson? -anonymous aspiring artist/animator I’m not an artist myself, so I can’t give any specific advice, but I can

And honestly, the fact that you care enough to worry about us already a big step towards not being a Dobson, so congratulations. ;)

[public-school-things]

yo! i'm a high school student (junior) and i don't know what career path i wanna take in life. it's getting so stressful bcz all the teachers are pushing the idea that we should already have a career picked out and should be actively working to get the job we want. do any college students feel this way when they first start out??? how did you figure out what you wanna do??

- 🔥 anon

Hi nonny!

God i hear you here. But trust me, you don't need to know what you need to do for a little while. I was lucky enough to know what I wanted to do, but I know most people aren't.

My biggest piece of advice is to try to figure out a very general field you'd want to go in. Like stem, arts, etc. From there, during college you can experiment with classes in that field.

If you don't know what you want to do at all, take classes you'd think you'd enjoy. In most schools, you have around 2 years to figure out what your major is. Typically for the first 2 years you take general prerequisites. Sometimes you'll find a passion for something you wouldn't have expected!

You 100% don't need to know what you want to do. There's gonna be advisors and people on campus to help you figure that out! I wish you all the luck in figuring it out.

[mod-queen]

Gently reminder about submissions

Hi people, how’s everyone today? Just stopping by to remind you about one of the Rules to submit your work, wip to CFWC:

Any submissions without basic information (book, characters/relationships, rating and warnings) of the fanfic will be ignored;

And this goes to the gender of your characters too! I’m noticing more and more works and wips are being submitted without this information, I usually go after the writer to ask about it, but I can't go after ALL WRITERS to ask this, at every submission and at every event on the blog, every week!

So, just remember that if the book has a gender option for the main character (MC) or the love interests (LIs), not everyone plays as the same gender as you. So, put the information about which gender you are writing in your fic, be them Female, Male, Non Binary, Trans.... or even if you don't want to choose a gender you can put 'gender not specified' if you want too!

Think about your readers and give all the information needed for them! 

Yeah, when we ask for information about your work, we aren’t asking for us (adm and mod) IT IS FOR YOUR READERS!  

Edit: RULES ARE RULES, period. If you're not following the Rules  your work will not be posted. I have been too kind going after every writer to know the information missing, because I didn't want to miss any submission and even so, give all the information to readers, but I realized that by doing that I've been condescending with everyone who is not following the rules.

AGAIN: When we ask for information about your work, we aren’t asking for us (adm and mod) IT IS FOR YOUR READERS!  

[whathefuckshappening]

Do you get receipts and stuff that you can’t share with us?? I’m asking in a respectful way I’m just very curious

Yes. But also, if I do have something, I try to work it in such a way that I can still share some tea without exposing sources etc. As long as ppl who’ve shared the tea with me are happy for me to do so.

If it’s just too hot, I usually hold onto it until other sources are happy to spill it. I’m not into the whole: “see, I told you first” shit. I don’t mind if I get to share it after a big drop. If they found it out, it’s their win, so to speak. Also, we might agree to drop simultaneously.

Maintaining good faith with your sources is more important. It’s a fine line. I’ve seen some blogs/accounts be totally ostracised/black-listed for their bad tea-spilling etiquette.

[pansapphicpositivity]

I’m hoping to come out as pan to my parents soon, but I’m struggling to find the right words. I know in my soul that I’m pan, but every time I try to put it into words I can’t. Do you have any advice on this? Like, how would you explain being pan to someone who’s probably never even heard of it before? I’m grateful for whatever help you have

If you're looking for a way to explain, I got ya. Pan is the attraction to all genders, often regardless of gender. And if they say something about you liking just boys and girls,just explain how there are more than the binary genders. I hope this helps!