Hey so this is linda urgent? I'm trying to write a sex repulsed ace character and i'm not sure i'm doing it well... How do i do this????
This is sort of a broad question and I’m not sure how to answer it. This is our myths about asexuality post and this is our post on ace/aro stereotypes. They’ve both got links to more resources, so they’re good if you’ve got no idea where to start!
It’s important to note that only some ace people are sex-repulsed. I’m not completely sex repulsed, but I can try to share some experiences I’ve had that might help you. Before I begin, I want to note that sex-repulsed ace people can and do still have sex, for a multitude of reasons that aren’t anyone’s business. However, some common ones include wanting to conceive and wanting to please a partner. We go into this more deeply in the myths about asexuality post.
So…I am fundamentally uninterested in sexual relationships. They don’t have any sort of bearing on what I think or do or feel. When I come across sexual stuff, I avoid it. I groan and walk out of the room or pull something up on my phone if it’s a scene in a movie or tv show. Usually kissing and touching is okay, it’s really sweet! But there’s a line (it’s different for everyone) and when it’s crossed I get uncomfortable.
When I see sexual stuff, I’m annoyed, in a “come on, this again” sort of way. I also get really uncomfortable knowing that people thought about me sexually at all. That’s something that’s definetely not just an ace thing, but god, it gives me anxiety attacks. Also, I don’t assume situations are sexual/romantic when (apparently) they are and it leads to awkward interactions. I chat with someone because they’re nice and then they ask me out and I freak because that’s what you thought?
Honestly, the thing to remember is that ace people are fundamentally people. Being sex-repulsed means that sex isn’t really a part of our lives, but that’s just one little piece, and trust me, we find plenty of ways to fill our extra time. I mean, the internet, for one. Video games? Cooking? I honestly don’t think I’m missing out.Good luck with your character!