I Support Breastfeeding...BUT...
I felt compelled to write about this simply because I hear it all to often. “I support breastfeeding... but...” Earlier this week I’m browsing through my Facebook feed when an old High School friend posted an article. A woman had been shamed at Disneyland for nursing uncovered. She was nursing her child uncovered in the California heat and two women were scowling at her in the back of a photo. My heart instantly sank. Breastfeeding is hard work, coupled with that fact that it’s ridiculed at every turn makes it a million times harder. Can I feed my baby here? Will someone confront me? Will I be asked to leave? All while your screaming baby is in need and your boobs are full, your mind is flustered and your nerves are kicking in. As I read the caption posted with it....
“I support breastfeeding but... cover yourself up”.
I sat there for a minute, did I really want to engage? My fury was building and it was hard to pinpoint why. After talking with Julia it really hit me. My biggest issue was another woman posted it. Another woman SHAMING another woman. We run into this daily, and why? I’m very blessed to have found my mama tribe, women who love me fiercely, talk to me honestly, and defend me to the death. If any one of them was shamed for breastfeeding, bottle feeding, feeding their kid french fries, we would battle to the death to end the shaming for any one of them. Why isn’t the whole world this way?
Why are we conditioned to shame one another. Albeit things like safety of our children, I rarely have a second thought of what a parent does. Judgement is one thing, which truly... we all judge, good or bad. To say “I don’t judge anyone.” is silly. We all have judgement, gut instinct, it’s how we survive life and how we are able to make the best decisions. So I may judge someone for putting their kid in the front seat when I know it isn’t safe. I’m judging the decision, and yes most likely I will inform the parent of laws and science. I won’t shame them. I will educate, hope it changes their mind for their children’s safety, but ultimately it is their child and their choice. But... to shame someone? To publicly ostracize someone for the way they choose to feed their child, there just aren’t enough words in the English Dictionary to properly express how that makes me feel. “Just cover up...” Excuse me?!?! Do you know how hot it is? Telling ANY mother to cover up is frankly, complete bullshit.
I feed my baby how and when I want. Laws PROTECT ME.
My boobs aren’t your fun bags. Science proves, human milk is for human babies. This milk comes in when I have a baby... for guess who... THE BABY!!!
There are ZERO things wrong with babies feeding from a mother’s breast. That is how, God, Nature, and science intended. Whatever you believe, who ever you believe in... that’s what they are for. Sorry to disappoint.
Try and tell me to pump a bottle, seriously try it. HAVE YOU TRIED IT. Pumping is double the work, and to those mama’s who do do it, I commend you, you are truly amazing. You truly deserve gold metals because the work is crazy hard. Some women don’t respond to pumps, and that’s okay too. Cause we have these fluffy sacks on our chest that keep the milk perfect temp and exactly what we need for our little nuggets.
Lastly, if you don’t like it... DON’T LOOK!!! My body, my choice, my baby, my choice, MINE, MINE, MINE!!! If for some reason you have a mental issue, (which exactly what having an aversion to seeing a woman breastfeed is) that is your issue not mine. Avert your eyes, move along. Deal with your own mental issues and don’t ever push your beliefs off on a breastfeeding mom, a bottle feeding mom, a new mom, an old mom. Not your body, not your baby, not your choice. Also I should probably add, zero women are trying to pick up men with their milk jugs. I’m not trying to entice your husband, boyfriend or significant other with engorged boobs. I’m probably dying of exhaustion, dreaming of Starbucks, and praying this baby will nurse and take a nap.
As a woman, think twice before you repost on social media. We as women need to empower each other, love each other, have each other’s backs. So much is against women right now. Do we really need to feed into media outlets shaming us for what nature intended us to do? If you truly support breastfeeding whether you chose to do it yourself or not, there is no BUT in support. You support no matter what. You support women’s choices. Women extend breastfeed, and it’s beautiful. Women pump breastmilk and it is beautiful. Women donate breastmilk and it’s beautiful. Some women breastfeed with a SNS, or nipple shield and it’s beautiful. Some women combo feed, and it’s beautiful. Some women adopt or choose formula, and it’s beautiful. So the next time you support something... but... take a step back. Do you really support it? Are you posting something to shame another human? Is it helpful? It is hurtful? Is it necessary? Make the world a better place mama’s, if not for ourselves then for our babies.