TED DANSON BEING TAUGHT HOW TO DO THE FLOSS IS THE GREATEST THING YOU’LL EVER WATCH.
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TED DANSON BEING TAUGHT HOW TO DO THE FLOSS IS THE GREATEST THING YOU’LL EVER WATCH.
You are not society. Society is not you. You do your own thing, and don’t ever be ashamed of it.
Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin
No Excuse For Abuse
The title seems so common sense. Doesn’t it? But if it’s so common sense, why does this need to be said? And be said over and over and over again.
I am the wife of an Army Veteran with combat related PTSD/TBI. {Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder/Traumatic Brain Injury} My husband served 10 years; with deployments to Iraq & Afghanistan in addition to others.
PTSD is defined as: A disorder in which a person has difficulty recovering after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event.
With symptoms such as:
Behavioral: agitation, irritability, hostility, hypervigilance, self-destructive behavior, or social isolation
Psychological: flashback, fear, severe anxiety, or mistrust
Mood: loss of interest or pleasure in activities, guilt, or loneliness
Sleep: insomnia or nightmares
Also common: emotional detachment or unwanted thoughts
TBI is defined as: Brain dysfunction caused by an outside force, usually a violent blow to the head.
With symptoms such as:
Cognitive: amnesia, inability to speak or understand language, mental confusion, difficulty concentrating, difficulty thinking and understanding, inability to create new memories, or inability to recognize common things
Behavioral: abnormal laughing and crying, aggression, impulsivity, irritability, lack of restraint, or persistent repetition of words or actions
Whole body: balance disorder, blackout, dizziness, fainting, or fatigue
Mood: anger, anxiety, apathy, or loneliness
Eyes: dilated pupil, raccoon eyes, or unequal pupils
Gastrointestinal: nausea or vomiting
Sensory: sensitivity to light or sensitivity to sound
Speech: slurred speech or impaired voice
Also common: persistent headache, a temporary moment of clarity, bleeding, blurred vision, bone fracture, bruising, depression, loss of smell, nerve injury, post-traumatic seizure, ringing in the ears, or stiff muscles
Many of these symptoms mimic each other. Notice what’s NOT on the list? Domestic violence. Physical abuse. Mental abuse. Emotional abuse. Sexual abuse.
In my effort to learn more about having a spouse with PTSD I did what many do; I joined support group after support group. I was grasping at straws during our darkest hours. Desperately searching for someone else, that had gone through what I was currently going through that could tell me “it’s going to be okay.”
I found something else entirely. I found a secret world of women that not only accepted abuse as “okay”, but discouraged any encouragement to get out, to seek help. When I say discouraged...I really mean it was listed in the rules that members COULD NOT advocate others to leave abusive marriages/relationships. Yes, you read that correctly.
This was disturbing to me, on so many levels. The intensity of abuse varies. Most common was mental/emotional abuse & gaslighting.
Gaslighting is defined as: (verb) a form of manipulation that seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, hoping to make them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Using persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lyin g, it attempts to destabilize the target and delegitimize the target's belief.
These forms of abuse are brutal. They tear down every atom of your being, negate all self worth, destroy every ounce of confidence, and block by block dismantle anything that made you...you. This abuse is “abuse enough” to advocate leaving, or offer resources and education to empower the abused to take back control.
The less common, but still eerily prevalent is physical & sexual abuse. Rape. Beatings. Attempted Murders. I will not repeat the heartbreaking stories I’ve read in this groups. I won’t break that ideal of a “safe space” for these victims. I will however call out the horrific enabling that I have repeatedly seen. I will call out the misguided idea that you must not love the veteran enough if you leave.
Love. An intense feeling of deep affection.
Love. To feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone).
LOVE DOES NOT HURT. LOVE DOES NOT RAPE. LOVE DOES NOT HIT. LOVE DOES NOT DEGRADE. LOVE DOES NOT INSULT. LOVE DOES NOT GUILT. LOVE DOES NOT THREATEN.
The idea that you don’t love enough...I couldn’t stomach that. The idea that somehow...valuing your life...was not loving enough...enough is enough. TIMES UP.
We cannot perpetuate the MYTH that PTSD & Domestic Violence go hand in hand. We must dismantle the idea that PTSD somehow validates abuses, explains abuse, makes abuse acceptable. We as human beings MUST refute these ideas. We must fight back. We must offer resources, tangible resources. We must EMPOWER spouses, we must educate them. We must hold our veterans accountable; hold them responsible for their behavior. There must be consequences. We must not explain this away.
NO. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR ABUSE.
Beautiful Water Births at Home
My son was born in 2014 and that was my first beautiful water homebirth. Taylor was born july 30, 2017 in the same style. I woke up at 5am with cramping that didn't go away. I sat on a yoga ball and my husband, derrek, called our doula and midwife. By 5:30 the surges were increasing. I labored mostly standing in the kitchen leaning on the counter. Derrek filled the birth pool and the midwife assistant arrived at 7am. Labor was strong. I had beck and Tori Amos playing on my ipod. By 7:40 my doula and midwife arrived. It was a warm, sunny summer morning so we had the french doors open to our yard/woods and baby deer emerged to paid us a visit. I got into the pool by 7:45 and my water was leaking. I was only comfortable on my knees leaning on the pool wall. I transitioned, vomiting the watermelon that they were all force feeding me. 😁 my labor was intense with little rest but quite efficient. By 8:05 I was pushed her out in 2 pushes. She was 8 pounds, 19 inches and had a full head of dark hair and long finger nails. We didnt know the sex, but intuitively we knew it was our girl Taylof Jane...a name we picked out early in our pregnancy. Our birth team was amazing and supportive and our birth was something like a fairytale. 💜💙💚
Lindsay Palmisano
HELLP Syndrome & My 35 Weeker
Well it all started when I was 32 weeks pregnant and i started getting severe back pains. I went to my doctors at Mercy and she told me everything was normal. About a week later the pain started to get worse and I began throwing up whatever I ate or drank so I went to the ER at Mercy they did tests and again said everything was normal so they gave me fluids and sent me home. As days went by I was getting sicker and sicker so I went to Mercy again they gave me a shot of steroids for the baby, did more tests and again said everything was fine. I was crying because I knew something was wrong I wasn't eating or drinking because I threw up everytime. They ended up giving me tabs which I refused to take. So at 35 weeks the day of my baby shower my mother in law was so worried because I looked horrible my face was sunken in and I was bones minus the baby in my belly so she rushed me to Children’s; they did a simple blood test and within 15 mins they came back and told me I needed to be induced right now because I had HELLP syndrome and if I didn't get induced me and my baby would die. I got admitted, they gave me an epidural and began the process once I got the drugs I felt great. I was in labor for 14 hrs and once I became fully dilated my son was out in 3 pushes. It was the scariest few weeks of my life but once my son was in my arms all that pain and suffering was well worth it.
My son was born June 27th at 1:03 am at 4 pounds 9 ounces 19 inches long. He had to stay in the NICU for 5 days cuz of eating issues but now he is a healthy 6 yr old and he is the best kid i could ask for.
5 ROAD TRIP MUST HAVES
Road trips can be a ton of fun but they can also be pretty stressful. Getting ready for a road trip can be super simple with these five must haves! My son is five years old and we’ve been taking road trips since he was about nine months old. The first few trips I packed a whole bunch of stuff and didn’t really need everything. Now that we’ve done this over a dozen times with a mix of short and long trips I have compiled a good list of my road trip must haves.
1. A CUP THAT KEEPS THE ICE COLD. My whole family loves ice water but it is not always easy to keep ice frozen. Hours of driving, in and out of the car, in and out of the sun, the ice melts fast. Now there are so many cups that keep the ice frozen and the water ice cold. I love the RTIC cups! https://www.amazon.com/RTIC-RTIC30-30-oz-Tumbler/dp/B019D9HESO/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1520205620&sr=8-5&keywords=rtic+cups+30+oz
2. ONE DOLLAR BILLS FOR THE VENDING MACHINES. I don’t care how many drinks and snacks I pack someone will always want something from the vending machines at the rest stop. I guess it is just the excitement of putting the money in and making your selection that draws people in. No matter how well I plan and how well I pack we always end up getting something from the vending machines. Nothing is worse than stopping after hours on the road and listening to your child freak out because you forgot to bring a dollar for the vending machine. Avoid the drama and save up those one dollar bills!
3. TRASH BAG. Ok, I admit, this one is a pretty obvious one but I have been known to forget a time or two. It sucks being stuck in a cramped car as it is but it is even worse when the car has trash everywhere. Having a trash bag means all of the trash can go in the bag and easily emptied at a gas station or rest stop. Easy clean up and more room for fun car games or a nice nap.
4. MUSIC. Yes another obvious one! I hate trying to find a good radio station as I’m driving from state to state so I like to bring plenty of CD’s. People still use CD’s right? I make sure to bring plenty because once I’ve memorized and sung every song once or twice I need to move on.
5. BABY WIPES! I don’t care who you are or if you even have a baby, baby wipes are a life saver! At sketchy rest stops with no toilet paper? Baby wipes! Spill your soda all over the place? Baby wipes! Sticky hands? Baby wipes! Want to freshen up after being in the car all day? Baby wipes! I’m telling you if you have an issue babywipes are the solution. I like most baby wipes I have tried but my advice is getting non-scented.
Bonus tip! If you need to save your receipts from the trip bring a gallon size zip lock bag. Whenever you get a receipt put it in the bag and store the bag in the glove box.
-Brianna
The Miraculous Birth of Xayvien John: A C Section Story
I went in for my 40 week appointment, hadn’t thinned/dropped/Dialated at all nor Had I had any contractions. That night around 10:45 my water broke by itself and contractions started instantly and nonstop . When I got to the hospital I was 1cm, I got in the bath to wash up and relax, and when I got out I was already 4cm (I was in the bath for 30 minutes). They hooked me up to the monitor to make sure everything was okay but my sons heartbeat wasn’t stable. They were having a hard time finding it, and when they did it was all over the place. We tried everything, and despite wanting a natural birth they recommended I get an epidural to see if it took stress off the baby. It didn’t work so we took it out. About two and a half hours of flipping me and turning me his heart rate dropped into the 20’s and 30’s. I was 9cm at that point (4 hours from the time my water broke) and we needed to get that baby out. They gave me the choice of pushing or a csection but informed me that pushing could cause the baby to much stress and his heart rate was already dangerously low and we were expecting some brain damage. I opted for the csection to keep my baby as safe as possible. They rolled me back, and instantly began making incisions. I had no medications so I felt ever last incision made screaming in pain but in a state of shock. The anesthesiologist told the on call doctor (my ob was on vacation) that she needed to stop but she said it was to late. I ended up fainting. I thought I was dreaming when I heard faint cries, that’s when I remembered where I was and what was going on. I opened my eyes and my significant other was across the room holding our son. Instantly to the sound of my voice our son was soothed. He was a healthy 7lb 10oz baby measuring 21 1/2 inches with absolutely no problems. I spent the next three days in the hospital with no sleep because I couldn’t keep my eyes off our bundle of joy. We found out why I had a lack in fetal movement throughout my pregnancy, and why his heart rate was unstable, and that is because he was born with a true knot in his umbilical cord. He has being deprived of oxygen and nutrients for months. Our miracle baby, xayvien john.
Birth Center Birth of Maxwell Lucas
Maxwell Lucas
3.25.14
I had mild contractions about 6 mins apart throughout the day until my water broke at 6 pm. As soon as it broke, my contractions were about 3 mins apart. By 7:30 pm I was laboring in the tub because I had really intense back contractions and the jacuzzi helped a bit. My doula showed up shortly after and it was decided I didn't need to leave for the birthing center yet, being a first time mom. At 8:50 pm I got out of the tub to finally head to the birthing center and felt the need to push. I waddled down the hall and onto my bed and in one push Max's head came out, one more push to get his body out. He was born at 9 pm on the dot! Immediate skin to skin and he latched on like a pro. We nursed for over three years.
YOU AIN’T GONNN DOOOO SHIIIIIIITTTTT
Me: (no voice) LISTEN TO ME
Kid: Rolls eyes, mental middle finger in the air, turns and walks away.
Me: Whisper Yell...I’m going to count to 3.
Kid: YOU AIN’T GONN DO SHIIIIIIITTTTT.
🙄{hint} KARMA steps in at the end of this video.
*no five year olds were harmed in the making of this video.
Me: (no voice) LISTEN TO ME Kid: Rolls eyes, mental middle finger in the air, turns and walks away. Me: Whisper Yell...I’m going to count to 3. Kid: YOU AIN’T GONN DO SHIIIIIIITTTTT. 🙄{hint} KARMA steps in at the end of this video. *no five year olds were harmed in the making of this video.
An Eye For An Eye
First up, I really enjoyed this book. I enjoyed it enough to stay up far too late reading it! This is the second book in a series (the first being "Bitter Past"), but I read it alone and have not read the precursor. "An Eye For An Eye" is a well developed fiction that rests firmly enough in the real world to not require suspending disbelief, but not so heavy that it's a slog to get through. It could perhaps use a touch more detail in the procedural aspects, but that advice may run the risk of distracting from the characters. Told from the first person of Ellie Mathews, a criminology professor, you're in the character's head enough for it to feel real, but not so far in that you can't think for yourself. The characters are well developed and just like in real life, you only know the inner-workings of the person from whose perspective you are viewing things; the author hasn't bogged you down with too many semi-psychic insights into the other characters.
I found Ellie Mathews to be relatable without much work; a pleasing mix of sarcasm, practicality, and affection for those she cares about. In high stress situations she reacts in a real way. Not too "damsel in distress" and not too overly cool, but true to the character that has been painted.
If this review seems to be a bit focused on construction and writing it's because I'm going to pains to not give anything away! That being said, I think you'll really enjoy the writing mechanism used to introduce this book. I know I did! This mystery is really like two books in one. Ellie and her partner on the case Detective Nick Baxter, are trying to find a serial killer while also solving a cold case. Why? Well, if I told you that would be a spoiler.
Happy reading! A copy was provided to me via NetGalley with no requirement for a review, my initial purpose being to prep for an interview with the author which you can find at https://www.themominars.com/book-club-reimagined/caroline-fardig-an-eye-for-an-eye The above comments are my honest opinion.
Caroline Fardig - An Eye For An Eye
Caroline Fardig is the USA Today bestselling author of the Java Jive Mysteries series, the Lizzie Hart Mysteries series, and Ellie Matthews series. She has worked as a schoolteacher, church organist, insurance agent, funeral parlor associate, and stay-at-home mom before realizing that she wanted to be a writer when she grew up. Born and raised in a small town in Indiana, Fardigstill lives in that same town with an understanding husband, two sweet kids, two energetic dogs, and one malevolent cat.
Interview with Caroline Fardig Q: I've read some procedurals, classic dicks, and crime mysteries, so I'm not unfamiliar with the genre(s). However, I've never read a book starting from the perspective of the first victim. What lead you to do that?
A: When I wrote the first book in the series, BITTER PAST, I actually had 4 chapters leading up to the murder, which originally happened off-page. But when my agent and I were discussing that book, he said it didn't start with enough of a bang. There was too much lead-up before anything really happened. So, I hacked those chapters and started (literally) with a bang--the victim in the first book was shot. It ended up being a great formula to draw the reader into the action and feel something for the victim, so I kept on with it. Every Ellie Matthews novel will start that way.
Q: One of my favorite authors does a ton of real world research for her books. Shooting the guns, doing interviews, suiting up with a SWAT team.... I know you do too. Can you describe what research you do and why you do it?
A: In the past couple of years, I've taken 3 college-level classes in Criminal Justice--two forensics classes and one criminal investigations class--to prepare for writing this series. There are so many books and movies and TV series that get the procedural stuff "wrong," I was determined to write something that showed the real way it's done--of course within the realm of fiction to keep things interesting. In the forensics classes, we did a lot of labs, which ended up being hands-on training provided by real criminalists who work at the Indiana State Police lab. My teacher is one of the firearms examiners, and she had her coworkers come in to teach lessons and labs in their field of expertise. They would bring actual supplies from their lab so we could have a true experience at evidence examination. We also got to tour the lab itself, which was incredibly exciting for me. My teacher and her coworkers have been so great about answering my many "what if" questions about forensics, even long after the classes were over. It's been an amazing experience.
Q: Your main character in this book is an aunt while you are a mom. I've noticed that a lot of authors, either intentionally or not, often infuse their characters and stories with elements from their own life. Can you tell me how Ellie and Rachel are or are not like yourself?
A: Well, they have a sweet Golden Retriever just like me. But on the serious side, Ellie's sarcasm comes straight from me. We both get into trouble for our witty yet cutting observations that maybe shouldn't always be shared with others. Ellie and Rachel's life and experiences are the polar opposite of mine, though, except for the teaching part. Although I don't use it, my degree is in education.
Q: Are there any real world inspirations for your characters?
A: Always! Every time someone says or does something that strikes me as interesting or unusual, I'm immediately on my phone, sending myself an email outlining the situation or turn of phrase so I can use it in the future. And we all know people who deserve to be caricatures in stories--but I'm not naming any names...
Q: Since this interview is for the Mominars I should probably ask some "mom" questions. How did you get started as a writer? With your diverse background what inspired you to try writing?
A: I honestly started getting fed up with how books I read would end. I would always rewrite the ending in my head, and I finally figured...why not do it on paper? I guess that was my muse giving me a nudge to write my own books. And my...ahem...diverse work background certainly plays a part in my writing. Through the many different career paths I've taken, I've managed to meet all sorts of people and have varied experiences. Q: Do you find being a parent presents challenges that other authors may not be faced with?
A: Absolutely! I try to get all my writing done when my kids are at school. But sometimes I have to keep working once they're home. It's easier now that my kids are older and entertain themselves, but it's not always easy to write something meaningful with the TV blaring in the background. My husband also works out of our home, so that can be challenging as well--we're always managing to interrupt each other at inopportune times. Q: Let's play 'High/Low'. What's the best part of being an author? What's the worst?
A: There are a lot of highs for me. I love it when readers connect with a book and let me know. I love it when I get good news about my career (new contracts, making bestseller lists, being nominated for awards). I love to talk about my writing with other people and meet with other authors. As for lows, it's pretty much the opposite of the highs--bad reviews, publishers saying no, low sales figures. It's quite a rollercoaster ride! Q: High/Low: parenthood?
A: I love watching my kids do what they enjoy and excelling at it. I love it when they're proud of themselves. I love it when they display kindness toward others. As for lows, again the opposite--getting upset over a bad performance or worrying over a bad grade, getting into arguments with their friends. And the worst--me realizing the times when I've not been a good role model and they're copying my bad behavior. Q: No one else may care, but I took a brief look at your FB and your husband had an interesting theme to your Christmas gifts. Care to explain that? A: HA! For years, he has always managed to get me a Christmas gift that either makes me laugh until I cry or embarrasses the heck out of me and I have to take it in another room to unwrap by myself. This time, he went full out and got me 12 of those crazy gifts, one for each day leading up to Christmas. He got me a foul-mouthed cookbook, a talking toilet paper roll, a farting butt bank, a book of cat poems called "I Could Pee on This," and a set of pens with some really weird sayings on them, to name a few. He made up for his nonsense on Christmas day, though, and got me a custom made electric guitar. Q: Is there anything you wish people would ask about?
A: I guess my music--most people who know me know that I'm a musician, but not everyone knows I've got 2 recorded songs under my belt. I wrote them for my Java Jive series, as the heroine is a struggling musician/songwriter, and recorded them with the help of a friend at a local recording studio. They're on iTunes, etc. if you want to check them out!
Q: Ok, I'll bite. Let's talk about your music. You said you wrote your songs for your Java Jive series, but do you think it will be something you pursue further? Another thing on your "ahem" diverse resume?
A: I’d love to write and record music all day, but that would mean putting my day job (writing) on the back burner. I have a lot of music in my life anyway, as I’m the lead singer/guitarist/arranger for our praise band at church. Writing brass parts isn’t quite as fun as writing love songs, but it uses the same part of my brain. And I perform at open mic nights every time I go to Nashville, which is a couple of times a year. As for my other former jobs, I don’t think I’m ready to dive back into the mortuary world anytime soon… Q: Speaking of diverse interests, as people who happen to be parents and do something to earn a living, we (people) often have interests too. What are some of yours?
A: Well, music. I’m lucky to be able to share that with my family—my husband plays piano for our praise band, my son plays trumpet, and my daughter sings with me. Aside from that, I love to cook, especially baking with my daughter. My son and I bingewatch sitcoms together and make Starbucks runs. My husband and I watch and even attend Pacers basketball games together as often as we can. As a family, we love to travel. Q: One of my interests is genealogy and I happen to think your last name is interesting. Do you know where it comes from?
A: Yeah, real interesting. You would not believe the number of people who mistakenly thing there are actually people out there named “Farting.” Seriously? Anyway, I think it’s Scandinavian originally. Q: Classic author question: What two pieces of advice would you give to aspiring authors?
A: I’d say the best thing you can do is surround yourself with people who are willing and able to help you get to where you want to be. I’ve got a great support system of family, friends, fellow authors, and industry professionals who help me polish my work, get my name out there, and offer great advice. Secondly, do your research. Keep up with what’s hot in the industry. Study the writing and marketing styles of other authors and learn what readers respond to best. Make sure what you’re writing has an audience. There’s nothing more soul-crushing than pouring months of your life into a manuscript and having someone tell you that no one is going to want to read it.
Ways Parents, Teachers and Students Can Reduce Standardized-Test Stress
Standardized testing has drawn its share of criticism from teachers, students and parents. One of the most common complaints is the stress that all three groups feel – from preparation through performance.
From a young age, students take these timed tests that measure academic competency and, ultimately, whether they’re college material. Countless articles on standardized testing in the U.S. point out the pressure on students to score well; that teachers are often evaluated by how their students fare on the tests; and that parents get anxiety hoping their children score high.
Amid all this stress comes the basic but difficult-to-answer question: How to deal with it?
“There is a tremendous amount of controversy about standardized testing, and no matter which side of the argument you are on, teachers have no choice,” says Dr. Raj Gupta (www.drrajgupta.com), founder of Soul Focus Wellness Center and author ofWellness Center Solution: How Physicians Can Transform Their Practices, Their Income and Their Lives.
“So teachers, students and parents must deal with it the best way they can. And finding consistently healthy habits to counter these stress inducers is so important. In fact, taking the stress out of the test process can carry over to every aspect of their life. The scores aren’t as important as the quality of life they give themselves in what is a results-oriented world, often to a fault.”
Gupta offers four tips that teachers, students and parents can use to better deal with test-related stress:
·Diet. Poor eating habits contribute to stress. “I see this every day with my three girls,” Gupta says. “Grandma will feed them tons of sugar, and then I come home to find the girls either bouncing off the walls or miserably cranky after crashing from their sugar high. Good wholesome foods that are not processed or refined and are free from trans fats prevent our energy levels from peaking and crashing throughout the day.”
·Rest. Getting enough sleep helps keep your body and mind in top shape, making you better equipped to deal with any negative stressors. “Most of your healing and repair takes place when you are sleeping,” Dr. Gupta says. “This is when the body recharges the battery. If you continue to deprive your body of sleep, your immune system breaks down and you get sick.”
·Exercise. A study conducted by California State University found that a 10-minute walk is enough to increase energy, alter mood, and provide a positive outlook for up to two hours. Exercise also assists in quality sleep. “Exercise is the greatest stress buster,” Gupta says. “Regular exercise can change your life.”
·Mental attitude. “Stress is like a snowball: If you let it roll, it will gain speed, momentum and weight, and you are over-reacting, making even small difficulties seem like major crises,” Gupta says. He suggests countering a stressful situation with a calming action. Example: when rush-hour traffic is irritating, listen to a self-improvement audio. “Some things we can’t control, but we can control our response to them,” Gupta says.
“Stress can cause all sorts of health problems,” Gupta says. “It affects all ages, as seen with the implementation of standardized testing. But it can be dealt with on a daily basis, and by doing so consistently, it can help us pass any and all stress tests in the future..”
About Dr. Raj Gupta
Dr. Raj Gupta (www.drrajgupta.com), who has more than 20 years experience as a chiropractor, is the founder of Soul Focus Wellness Center. He also is author ofWellness Center Solution: How Physicians Can Transform Their Practices, Their Income and Their Lives. He has been featured in US News and World Report Health, Woman’s World Magazine and New York Daily News. He has a doctorate in chiropractic from Life University.
Emotional Bubble-Wrap for Young People Changing Homes
By Julie Etter
Moving can be hectic. It’s a contact sport. It’s physically and emotionally demanding at a time when you are supposed to still carry on the rest of life . . . jobs, dinner, rides to soccer. It’s a full-time job on top of a schedule that doesn’t have room for “another” job. So, in all of that, it’s easy to make mistakes with the kids and their involvement (or often lack-thereof) in the move. As if there weren’t enough to think about, dealing with temper tantrums, outbursts, and sometimes intangible ways of fearful expressions, by kids in the middle of a move only adds to parental stress. Below are some straightforward suggestions that parents can follow while moving children from one home to another. It all comes down to one fundamental component: involvement.
Let their wish-list be heard. Have kids identify what they love most about their current home and what they most want to see in a new home. Although this won’t erase all anxiety, there are often simple things that can be created to help with the child’s transition (e.g., a room color, a swing set, furniture you are moving with you anyway).
Bring the kids to see the new property. Often, and understandably so, children are left with babysitters while parents view homes. Although this is logical for the hunt, once a property is under agreement and you know where specifically you are moving, set a time to go to the house. Between inspections, measurements, etc., there should be ample times when it’s appropriate for them to come to check it out. At a minimum, this will allow their anxiety to be focused and hopefully more specifically identified than that of the unknown. This is also a good idea in respect to visiting a new school, if applicable.
Let them pack. Putting all the kids’ stuff in a box and telling them it will be at the next mysterious place creates uneasiness over what’s happening with their stuff. In Lily and Andrew are Moving, a children’s book designed to identify and work with kids’ moving anxieties, each family member gets a “color.” The color-coded stickers are then placed on that member’s belongings/boxes for easy identification for moving location. That same color is placed on that family members’ bedroom door for ease of identification.
Prepare yourself for extra emotional outbursts and use them as a foundation for conversation. One of the biggest complaints I get from parents is that the kids’ behavior is very poor and it’s yet another stressor during a hectic time. Try to remember that everything going on and the stress you are feeling is undoubtedly affecting them. They may not know how to articulate why. Use these attention grabbers to, well, grab your attention and talk about the move with your child.
Most of all, just understand that the kids are moving, too. So, regardless of whether it’s a positive or negative move for the family, work through their reactions just as you do in your role as parent in any other life event. Trust, though, once everything is in motion, they are far more resilient than their adult counterparts. Julie Etter is a professional, national award-winning realtor and former middle-school teacher based in Wrentham, MA. She is the author of Lily and Andrew Are Moving (Hardcover, $14.95; Kindle, $11.99), published by JT Publications, LLC. For more information, visit www.treehousebuddies.com
Sexy Panna Cotta Valentine’s Day Edible
Fall in love with a sweet treat from Mondo Meds. This light green edible pixie dust is coconut oil extracted and activated via cacao butter. Its creamy texture and nearly undiscernible taste makes for the perfect ingredient in Mondo’s very own: “Sexy Panna Cotta” Valentine’s Day recipe. Treat yourself and your loved ones to an elevated dessert that’s sure to make you fall in love with Mondo.
Mondo Strawberry Panna Cotta (serves 6)
Ingredients for Panna Cotta:
1/3 cup skim milk
1 envelope unflavored gelatin
2 1/2 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup (or less) white sugar
1 vanilla pod or 1 1/2 tsp Vanilla extract
Ingredients for Strawberry Sauce:
1 pint strawberries
1/3 cup white sugar
Optional: 1 tsp arrowroot powder
Step 1: Set Gelatin. Pour milk into a bowl and add gelatin. Set aside.
Step 2: Cook. In a saucepan, combine heavy cream and sugar, stir, let cook on medium heat. Bring to a full boil, stirring constantly, as the cream will quickly rise to the top of the pan. Pour gelatin and milk into cream, stir until completely dissolved. Cook for one minute, stirring constantly. Remove from heat, stir in vanilla, and pour into six individual glasses.
Step 3: MONDO It! Add desired amount of Mondo into each glass (2, 5, 10 mg) and stir. Cover and let sit in refrigerator at least 4 hours or overnight.
The Morning After: Wash strawberries and remove stems. Chop berries into quarters and dust with arrowroot powder. Combine strawberries, sugar, and vanilla in a saucepan. Sizzle: Cook berry mixture over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally. The mixture will sizzle for a while; juice will form. Mash and stir with a wooden spoon to make syrup. Cook until sauce thickens, about 15 minutes. Remove from heat.
Blend: In a blender, puree about 1/3 of the sauce, mix back into remaining topping. Store in refrigerator.
In the Moment: Pour strawberry sauce over Panna Cotta just before serving. Bliss out!
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Burton Strong
Burton’s Journey
SUPPORT BURTON
On November 16, 2017, after a month of unexplained headaches, Burton was diagnosed with a very large arachnoid cyst in the space surrounding his brain. His doctors at Sacred Heart determined that his symptoms were caused by a leak in the cyst which was causing increased intracranial pressure. Burton spent a week in the PICU and was treated with IV steroids before being sent home. He responded well while on the steroids, but as soon as they were discontinued his symptoms returned. Doctors then decided to do a procedure called a “Burr Hole,” which allowed the extra fluid to drain from his head and reduce his pressures. This procedure went well and Burton was headache free for about a week. However, his symptoms returned not too long after that.
Burton’s pediatritian, neurosurgeon, and ophthalmologist all determined that the best place for him would be the Children’s Hospital at UAB. We had been told that Burton was at risk of losing his sight because the increased pressure in his head was causing his optic nerves to swell, so we prepared ourselves for a more aggressive approach to his treatment.
We met with the pediatric neurosurgery team in Birmingham on January 4th and they agreed that his pressures were so high that he needed immediate surgical intervention.
The next day he went in for a surgery called “craniotomy with fenestration. The goal was to poke many tiny holes in his cyst and allow his body to reabsorb the fluid. After 4 hours in surgery, his doctor gave us a good report. His cyst had been drastically reduced and his brain had immediately started to refill the space where the cyst had been. However, not too long after this good report , we received some very scary news. Burton had failed his first post-surgical neuro test. His entire left side was not responding to stimuli and he was unable to move or control it. He was rushed back for a CT and it showed that he had experienced some unexplained bleeding during surgery. This had left two large blood clots in his head that had to be removed. He was rushed back into surgery for a second time that day where he underwent two more craniotomies to remove as much of the blood clots as they could. He pulled through these surgeries but was left intubated and in critical condition in the PICU.
The next few days was a blur of tears and prayers, tests and meds and more tests. Burton was checked for seizures and stroke and thankfully no sign of either was shown. This left the doctors with a big question though as to why his left side was so weak. They then decided to do a special CT called a “venogram,” and this image gave them their answer. On top of his arachnoid cyst, Burton has a condition called CVST (cerebral venus sinus thrombosis). His image showed yet another clot inside the sinus cavities of his brain. We were told this is extremely rare in children and the way to treat it could be potentially life threatening for Burton because of his spontaneous bleeding in surgery. To treat it, they needed to thin his blood and then go into his brain to remove the clot with a small catheter. Thinning his blood would put him at risk for more head bleeds and going into his sinus cavities was especially dangerous because he’s so young and his passages are so tiny. We, along with his doctors made the hard decision to try to wait and withhold treatment until he was a little more stable from his first surgeries.
After three days of super hydration and more images, they finally decided that we had to treat him soon. That week Burton had two more surgeries called “thrombectomies” where they went into his brain’s vessels and removed as much of the clot as possible. They also treated him with a “clot buster” called “TPA.” Once back in the PICU he was started on IV blood thinners and then we just had to wait to see if he would bleed again or if he would respond well to the treatment.
By the grace of God, Burton’s neuro status remained unchanged while on the Heparin and he began to slowly move his left side. After about a week of the IV therapy, he was moved to a step-down floor where he then switched to injectable blood thinners. He spent another week there being carefully monitored for any change in his neurological state. He only continued to improve and at the end of that week the decision to move him to in-patient rehab was made.
Now Burton starts the long journey of healing his body. He is relearning to use his left side and every day he is showing great signs of getting stronger. On February 2nd he slowly but surely WALKED out of the hospital! Now we head home and begin outpatient rehab and the long journey to full recovery. ❤️