This might be a hot take but I don't like the sentiment that heterosexual people aren't heterosexual anymore if they date a nonbinary person. I don't think dating a nonbinary person should need to change a monosexual person's orientation. And I'm saying this as a genderfluid boygirl. If a lesbian and a gay man can date a nonbinary person and still be who they are, then I don't think that should affect straight people regardless of gender identity. I even believe nonbinary straight people can exist the same way a nonbinary lesbian can exist. Monosexual people aren't suddenly multisexual because they have a nonbinary partner. And I don't think straight orientations are antithetical to gay ones. People can be straight in a way that's queer. That's why straight aces are still part of the queer community even if queer may not be their identity. You understand? I don't think straight trans people should have to identify as queer to be considered part of the queer community. Heteronormativity is antithetical to queerness, not straight people.
Mono-spec (mono- spectrum): an umbrella term for identities related to experiencing attraction to one gender [plus affection/relationships involving one gender].
The spectrum includes those who are exclusively attracted to sole one singular gender only (suptilic), and those who are fluid (i.e. abro-, novo-, amplusic), multioriented/centrioriented, varioriented/variangled, also mspec (multispec), cupiospec, orchidspec, or otherwise a-spec (e.g. arospec, acespec, aplspec, etc.) [along with other possible combinations].
For example, someone who is both gay and bi could consider their homo attraction as monospec. Lesbihets/straightbians could be monospec as a result of being multigender/genderfluid (could be a form of novosexuality). Anattractional viramorics or feminamorics could be monospec because of their affection or relationships, instead of their lack of attraction.
Monosexual is not a problematic term. It’s a way for bisexual people to speak about their experiences and issues. It shouldn’t be controversial and my article explains why:
Monosexual. Once the word is spoken anything a bisexual says is now invalid. How can one word cause so much controversy among the LGBTQ+…
Unpopular option: I don’t find it appropriate to have non-monosexuality to mean only attraction to more than one gender because it erases asexuality from the picture. Asexuality deserves as much representation as multisexualies such as bi and pan and monosexualities like gay and straight! All of this stands for romantic attraction and orientations as well!
Here's my hot take: gay people have monosexual privilege. And bi people have opposite-sex-attraction privilege. And aro aces have no homo privilege (if anyone knows the actual term that'd be great). Every orientation has privilege and it's important to acknowledge that, instead of saying it's homo/bi/aphobic. However, what is phobic is saying that because one orientation has a privilege another orientation doesn't, that their issues don't matter as much.
Monosexual privilege is even more fucked up when you remember that the same people who use it also tend to believe bi can mean “attraction to opposite binary gender + nonbinary people.” Which combined would make gay/lesbian people privileged over those who aren’t attracted to people of the same gender.
More or less what I’m saying is the term monosexual is bad and defining bi as “attraction to 2+ genders” is bad.
Note: I am using bisexual for the majority of this post. Bisexual, pansexual, and omnisexual people all experience biphobia and share most of the same experiences.
What does monosexual mean? A monosexual person is anyone who likes one gender (plus non-binary people). Lesbians, gay men, heterosexual women, and heterosexual men are all monosexual. Monosexual is the opposite of MSPEC.
What is mononormativity? Mononormativity is a word similar to heteronormativity. It just means that in our society, it is the norm to be monosexual and many norms, beliefs, practices of activism, etc. only have monosexual people and the concept of monosexuality in mind. Mononormativity is why most biphobia exists. It's why bisexuals are often not believed about their sexuality, why bisexuality is seen as a phase, why bisexuals are told to pick a side, why bi women are seen as straight and bi men as gay, why bisexuals are denied asylum, etc.
Monosexual is a controversial term. Many people are uncomfortable with it, but there's no reason to be. There are a lot of claims and misinformation going around that I am going to debunk.
"It groups us in with our oppressors!"
If that's the case, so does allo, nonlesbian, nonbisexual, nongay, etc.
"Just say nonbisexual!"
Nonbisexual and monosexual are not synonymous. Nonbisexual includes lesbians, gay men, heterosexual women, heterosexual men, pansexuals, omnisexuals, and asexuals. Monosexual includes lesbians, gay men, heterosexual women, and heterosexual men. As mentioned earlier, monosexual is the opposite of MSPEC. Other MSPEC identities (pansexuals, ominsexuals, etc.) do not fall under the term monosexual. Monosexual is needed to talk about the specific experiences, discrimination, issues, and prejudice we face for being MSPEC.
Mono means one! It excludes non-binary people!"
Now this one is just hypocritical. Mono doesn't mean one gender just as bisexual doesn't mean two genders. Both terms are inclusive of non-binary people.
"People use it derogatorily!"
Some people do. And that's wrong. It is an academic term. It is not supposed to be used as a derogatory term. However, stop to think. Is this person using the term derogatorily or are they just calling you out on your mononormative way of thinking?
"Monosexual privilege doesn't exist. We're not you're oppressors!"
Monosexual privilege does not exist in the way you think it does. You are not privileged for being monosexual. However, you do have certain advantages because our society and the LGBTQ+ community is mononormative. It's like how I, a bisexual fem-presenting person in a relationship with a man, have an advantage in some situations over lesbians and bisexual women in relationships with other women. Because you are monosexual, you won't be told your sexuality isn't real. You won't be denied asylum because of your sexuality. You're less likely to be erased (i.e. calling two women in a relationship lesbians, calling the relationship a lesbian relationship, calling same sex marriage gay or lesbian marriage, etc.). You are less likely to be excluded from LGBTQ+ activism. And, unless you're a lesbian, you are less likely to be told your sexuality is a phase.
Now I'm not saying you've never experienced these issues! Lesbians definitely are erased and are usually not separated from gay men. However, I am speaking in a general sense.
"You just made the word up!"
Monosexual is an academic term that has been around since the late 19th/early 20th century. The source below is a great read if you're looking to learn more about the term.
Shiri Eisner A brief history of the term “monosexuality” May 21, 2013
"The term isn't needed!"
As I previously stated, the term is needed to talk about the specific discrimination, prejudice, issues, etc. we face for being MSPEC. Because society and the LGBTQ+ community is mononormative, MSPEC people have different experiences.
I hope this post has helped you become educated on the term. If you have any questions, claims, or arguments please feel free to DM me or send me an anonymous message.
