This is just my opinion and I'm sure other people have their own takes on it, but I personally hate when, in mpreg dynamics especially, the one who carries is always mama or mommy. Actually, we can attribute this to f/f to an extent too, or anyone really. Trans characters I feel like people have a better head on about it, but even then I still see people equate capacity to birth into submission. Like people are equating the child bearing specifically to femininity and heternormative dynamics way too much, rather than choosing parental labels the characters would actually use.
In some instances, one person in the pairing has chosen to carry over the other for health or safety reasons, or maybe even that they just have a personality that's comfortable doing something like that. But then that character, you could almost guarantee, would sooner die than be "mama" despite their choice to bear the child. Or at least they would be deeply uncomfortable with it, or feel in some way it conflicted with their sense of self.
Hell, even in f/f dynamics, there's characters who, I think despite both being women, would not like or choose a title like mother or mama, regardless of carrying. Especially if they have complicated relationships to gender expression or misogyny. (Not implying that accepting a title like mother is misogynistic, but I am arguing that being forced into that title by the nature of your physical capacities is.) I just feel like people stop interpreting queerness and start superimposing a standard heterosexual dynamic of the father and the mother, usually dictated by who sired and who carried.
This just feels too rigid, imo. I would hate it less if people could defend their answer but their answer usually boils down to a pathetic "well they got pregnant, so they're mom now. Duh." And do not get me wrong, there are plenty of characters I think would love to be "mommy" but there's also plenty more I think would just default to their name or some kind of nickname for their hypothetical child to use.
