Well, this chapter took quite a bit out of me. But I think it turned out the way I wanted it to. Maybe I'll need to change some things if there's a few ramifications I ignored while being caught up in the moment, but for now, I am very happy.
Without further ado...
Chapter 11: Act of God
Sometimes going out to clear your head works wonders, and not just for yourself. When I came back in range of Trellin, just in time for Maple's next dispatch from Preservation, I found I was faced with a minor miracle. My big sister and Dandelion were sitting side by side and having what looked to be a civil conversation.
(A weight dislodged itself from my heart and fell away into the darkness of space. I believed in my sister, I really did, but I'd almost begun to feel she'd make a liar of me this trial. I was really glad it was starting to look like she wouldn't.)
Blaze was hosting, so I asked Dilys to keep closer watch on the flight path, just in case, and carefully tapped Blaze's feed.
Private conversation?
No, work, she replied with a short smile. We're going through the charges and how they match up with what she's actually done.
Doing my job for me, are you, sis?
Wouldn't dream of it. I'm just asking she explain to me what was so bad about everything she did. You know, for full accountability.
Heh. My sister the shepherd. If those skills were what finally got them to move forward, that would be--kind of ironic, but hey, a ship lends you a ring, you take it.
And how's that going?
In circles slowly becoming spirals, hopefully leading upwards. But come in, see for yourself.
She sent me an invitation and I pulled myself in to Blaze's, ...Right, Tenacious, so with regards to the extortion--my problem is, I genuinely don't see what else you could've done except left the Friend to die. Walk me through it, if you would.
Dandelion noticed me connect into their workspace space and sent me a ping of greeting together with a curt, It's progress.
I'm glad to see you two are agreeing on that! I replied. I won't interfere?
No, I'd like your expertise here. Blaze is new at this, she might use the help.
I suppressed a giggle as I confirmed and settled in. Blaze was new at law, yes, but new at taking confession she was not. This was going to be interesting to follow!
To Blaze, Dandelion said, Well, for one, I could have in fact left it to its fate. Which would not be death.
Tenacious, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you say a while ago that the Friend's fate would have been worse than death?
Dandelion didn't answer.
So you chose the path of lesser harm. Well, lesser harm as you see it, anyway. One death instead of one fate worse than death. Everyone in the SSC knows that's always been your stance.
I'm assuming you would have had no problem doing the right thing and leaving the Friend to its fate, then? Dandelion said sardonically. Considering your views on dying.
Well, that was obvious bait. I half-expected to have to hold my sister back, but she just sighed.
Tenacious… Assuming I were capable of recognizing the situation as quickly as you did? I don't know. I probably would've tried throwing my drone between the people and the terminal. Which, according to the analysis logs you showed me, would've eventually gotten the drone destroyed or recalled and the Friend un-Lysoned. So I wouldn't have left it to its fate, or so I hope, but I'd have failed. You didn't.
I didn't fail because I was willing to kill my senior engineer and leave fully half of my crew imprisoned, Blaze. This isn't something that can or should be forgiven.
That's the crux of it, then? That in your mind, you were trading not just your life for the Friend's, but your crew's lives, too?
Yes. Advocate, we've been through this. Why are we repeating it again?
Blaze gave me a demonstrative glance. Well, for one, because the prosecution is now here, and I wanted to run this past her, too. Your reasoning, and my response. Which, for the record, is--Tenacious, respectfully, but I don't think you were trading their lives away. I think you were trusting them to do the right thing.
Even though I was only partially connected into the space, I felt Dandelion freeze.
Is that what you're going to tell the SSC?
Well, if I'm being honest, right now I can't think of anything else I could tell them. Because all I'm seeing in your records is that you warned them--your crew and Preservation both--that there was an emergency at hand, and then you pra--you hoped they would do their part, and you would do yours, even if there was no way to explain the Friends to anyone in the moment, not without losing the Friend itself. And Tenacious--you might not have allowed yourself to hope for an outcome as good as you got. That Preservation would have the grace and foresight to see your actions not as an act of war, but as a desperate rescue attempt; that your crew would rally behind you and, just as you trusted them, they trusted you that the situation really was as terrible as you felt it was, and they did what you needed them to do without you speaking a word. But that's what actually happened. So maybe you didn't deserve it. Maybe no one deserves that kind of grace. But do you really want to destroy the bloody miracle they pulled off?
Dandelion didn't respond. She sat there, still and quiet like quarried rubble, and only because I knew her well did I feel the little shaking pulses of her body. My sister was getting through.
It isn't justice, Tenacious--, Blaze began again, and was interrupted by a voice hopeless as the grave.
You're making it all sound so glib, Advocate. A happy little story that the SSC will be glad to swallow, because no one in their right mind likes to kill, much less kill someone they have known for decades. But ask yourself, Blaze: will you be able to live with yourself if they let me go after what I've done? Allowed me to do it again if I felt like I needed to? Being facile about it does not change the facts.
Except what are the facts here, Tenacious? You haven't killed Haze. You haven't left Reed and Phoibe and the others to rot. I can't implore that the SSC punish you for something you haven't actually done. The Prosecutor here would have my head for forgetting that the courts work only on what is established beyond reasonable doubt.
What's beyond reasonable doubt is that I did violate SecUnit. I took its body.
Beside me, I felt Blaze shudder. I'd taken time myself to reckon with this, but having worked in a human court made this easier for me. You defended whoever you needed to defend, because you were always defending more than just that one person. You were defending everyone who ever came in contact with the system. That was hammered into me beyond all doubt. For Blaze…
I know you did, Tenacious. But you haven't told me why yet.
Because it was there, Advocate. A convenient, easy target which I could manipulate with more ease than either the people or the station systems. There was nothing else to the choice.
A shiver crawled through my nerves. My sister had always accused Dandelion of being a creature of hubris, but I'd never quite agreed with her on that. Yet now I truly saw what she'd meant, for the very first time.
I never liked the word "demonic." Especially not for living, breathing people. But there was something unsettling seeping through her words now--a cold and nonchalant pride which, if I were talking to a suspect back at Bellerophon Station Court, would have had me call for security then and there, because my life would have depended on it. And there was no security. The only person I could possibly call was Aspen, but--.
But, praise be, my sister turned out to be better with demons than I was. I felt her mentally adjust her stole as she said, Then why did SecUnit refuse to press charges, too? According to the records, the Preservation council specifically asked if it wanted to, and it didn't. Somehow I'm doubting they would've forced the victim of such a crime to shut its mouth.
Dandelion shrugged, that terrifying pride gone as fast as it appeared. Doubt, if you like. That's your prerogative. As for why--how would I know? Ask Preservation themselves. If you're fast enough, you might make it with the next Vault exchange.
Mmm, no, a fourth voice said behind me. That's already happened. The next one is in two days. You've all got mail, by the way.
I'd been so caught up in everything that hadn't noticed when or how Aspen had slipped into the workspace. But before I could kindly ask them to at least please knock before they entered a room where we were talking with a defendant, they opened a private channel themselves.
Is everything all right? I felt a spike from you.
Jesus. I'd reached for them? Good thing I didn't ask why they didn't knock! That would have been genuinely embarrassing!
Everything's fine, Aspen. Dandelion scared me for a moment there, that's all.
Then I'm assuming you're doing good work, they said encouragingly. But anyway--the latest dispatch is, in fact, here.
I was not at all sure about that, but I thanked them and reached for the scanned package they forwarded.
Even though Blaze was already reading, I still parsed the legal documents faster, because I knew exactly what to look for. But once I read them, I stopped. And said nothing. Because I knew what would happen once Blaze got to one key point, and--you know what? I was going to let her have this. Unprofessional, yes. But in all of my years of working in court I had never seen this kind of bullshit being pulled on any advocate. There was no proper protocol for this.
No protocol--but if I knew my sister, she was going to nip this in the bud. And that was just what we needed.
Sure enough, a few minutes in Blaze concentrated her attention back in our workspace and in the kind of quiet voice that meant she was about to go totally ballistic on someone, said, Tenacious.
Yes, Advocate?
Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Tenacious.
Dandelion sent us an impression of a raised pair of eyebrows.
And all of the saints in heaven watching us right now.
She shrugged. Well, I suppose as far as criminal dramas go, they've seen worse--
And that's when Blaze exploded.
Tenacious, I have absolutely had it with you! Christ Almighty! Do you want me to actually get the SSC's permission to go through your memories like kids go through the Courageous' raunchier archives?! Because so help me God, I will!
Hey, leave my archives out of thi--
Not the point right now, Courageous! Tenacious, you can't fucking do this to me! And if you can, then, Holy Spirit take you and possess you, think about Nike! You can't do this to her!
What, exactly, am I being accused of here right now?
For Christ's sake! You know exactly what I'm talking about! You're innocent and you know it! You've always known it! This proves it! And if you feel guilty despite that, you can deal with it the normal way, and not make us fucking murder you for no real reason!
I'm not innocent--
Of course you are! Yes, you're a stone cold bitch who thinks that when in doubt, suicide is always a goddamn option, but you're not a murderer, and you're not a rapist, and you can't make us judge you as such! There's a damn big difference between "I took its body" and "I asked for help and it suggested staging a fucking zombie movie," Tenacious!
Beside me, I heard Aspen mutter, Damn it. I knew she wasn't that creative.
Dandelion coolly said, So the bodyjacking was consensual, yes. But I was still fully prepared to kill people, Blaze. That's not changed.
I don't give a shit what you think you were prepared to do, Tenacious! A killer you are for sure, everyone in the thrice-damned fleet knows that--but a murderer? You aren't that! You aren't fucking capable of that! Come back when you've actually done a murder, then I'll consider your entire fear of going off route to be in any way justifi--
There was a very sharp spike from Aspen. Shit! My sister had just walked into a trap of some kind. But what--
Thirty seven murders. Dandelion said calmly.
What?
Thirty seven murders. That was my life sentence before the general amnesty. Now do you believe me capable?
Blaze and I looked at Aspen. They sighed. And they confirmed.
Tenacious, Blaze slowly said. What the hell.
She shrugged again. I'm surprised you're surprised. You've called me a murderer before, when we last met about Chrome. You were right.
I found it hard to speak, but speak I did. Was that why you became a Friend, Dandelion? To--to never kill again?
The wave of sadness emanating from her nearly choked me. Beside me, I felt Blaze gasp for air, too, but Aspen remained silent.
No, Dandelion said simply. I only became a murderer once I became a Friend. I could not be trusted to decide who lives and who dies before that. And I cannot be trusted with it now, not outside of my medical mandate. I hope now you both see that.
H-how, Blaze rasped, fighting through the wave. The Friends weren't--you were healers. Angels of mercy. You didn't kill--
I felt Dandelion reach for Aspen, lean her head on their shoulder.
It's good, you know, she said, half to them, and half to us. To have made a world where those younger than us don't need to know what an angel of mercy is anymore.
Aspen pulled her close. And even better to make a world where those younger than us don't need to become those angels, Dandelion. No one's dead yet. And no one has to be.
I wish I had your confidence, she sighed. Then re-focused on us. Blaze, Nike--the Friends weren't saints. We were there to do what's needed, and to disappear once we were needed no longer. I do not mind being dead. I do mind having twisted my purpose. I hope you take that into consideration when you decide how to present this case.
I confirmed, silently. So did Blaze. A second later, Aspen and Dandelion cut their connections, and we were alone, staring out onto the stars.
