naruto characters that are definitely secretly fucking during boruto (trust):
sasuke and naruto
ino and sakura
sai and naruto
actually just sai and all of the konoha 11. no one immune to his autism swag
speaking of autism swag, shino and kiba
and lowkey? hinata gets in on that action too sometimes. can take the girl out of team 8 but can't take the team 8 out of the girl (innuendo)
temari and tenten except instead of secretly fucking they're sneaking off to secretly beat each other up and then they both go home to jerk off about it separately
shikamaru and choji (karui gets to watch, hashtag fujo rights)
gaara and naruto. for political reasons and because this is how jinchuuriki bond
kakashi and iruka (naruto is in denial)
team choza during every reunion. not for sentimental reasons, but rather because genma bet anko 10,000 ryo he could get ebisu to admit he's gay before either of them hit 60, and he immediately recruited gai into his nefarious plan
orochimaru and tsunade but it's really weird and bad and both of them randomly start crying. and they keep doing it anyways
Naruto Uzumaki has some of my favorite ship content cause I'm a sucker for best friends to lovers and that's his whole thing. Creating bonds and being a bit insane about his friends, then realizing maybe it wasn't just friendship? I'm not kidding, that's legit half of the plot in any fanfic were he gets a partner
Sai is this aloof, distant character who knows nothing about social etiquette or what it means to connect with other people. He has no friends, he has nobody he holds affection for, and what little memory he does have of such things is buried under years of trauma and conditioning.
Enter: Naruto. Loud, abrasive, and so connected to life and the people around him. Naruto understands how others work, and knows exactly what to do and say to hit someone at their core. Even with enemies, he somehow manages to worm his way in. To appeal to their emotions.
To Sai, this must be utterly fascinating.
Naruto is his opposite. He's bright, loud, full of vivid color. Sai is like a washed out drawing, pallid and unnerving. Naruto goes through any range of emotions literally by the second. If anyone can teach Sai how to understand others, it's him.
So, he pokes. He prods. He makes tasteless jokes he knows are offensive, just to see what Naruto does in response. He expects that Naruto will hate him. That he'll grow annoyed enough to blow up, and through that, Sai will learn even further what it means to be human.
Only, Naruto isn't needlessly cruel like the handlers in ROOT, and he's far too used to ridicule for it to do much of anything to him. All Naruto does is gripe back at him, or roll his eyes, or groan and smack him on the shoulder.
Sai is taken aback but accepting of this. What he doesn't expect is for Naruto to decide they're friends. That somehow, Sai is worth protecting.
He's never had someone stand up like this for him before. Naruto willingly throws himself into harm's way for others, for Sai, and is interested in him. He invites him places, and asks about his day, and wants to know what he's drawing, and why, and if he can watch. He includes him in any team activities they do, and invites him out when he hangs out with his friends, even though Sai can tell they're all wary of him and his demeanor.
It's fascinating and new and something he's so unused to that he isn't sure what to do with it. Nobody has ever smiled at him like that. Nobody has ever wanted to know about Sai simply for the sake of knowing, because they actually give a damn about what he thinks and who he is.
Sai starts to crave it. He starts to want those eyes on him, and that smile, and that care. He seeks it out, inserting himself next to Naruto as he tries painstakingly to figure out what the hell it is he's even feeling.
It's not until Naruto rolls his neck to the side one day after training, the tan expanse of it bared to the world, that it occurs to Sai what this is. He wants to bury his face there. He wants to press his tongue to his pulse, to know what it feels like thumping against his lips.
He wants. And logically, when you want something, does it not make sense to take it?
Hell if he knows how this normally works, so he reads books. Every book he can get his hands on. When you want to possess another person, what do you do? How do you win their heart? How do you give yours in return?
He starts with the basics. His insults shift to compliments, because the books say that's what you're meant to do to get someone to truly like you. He starts holding the door for him, pulling out his chairs, making sure to stay close to him. He asks him questions and commits the answers to memory, because remembering shows you care.
Naruto is confused about the sudden shift, and hesitant. He's even more confused when the flowers come into play. Every day, Sai gives him a flower. But he also buys him ramen every day too, so you know. That's fine too.
Sai absorbs every dating manual he can get his hands on. Dinner at Naruto's favorite place every night, check. Flowers, compliments, manners, check. Interest in him and his life, check. Compelling conversations to connect, check.
He and Sai get even closer. It's not long before it's commonplace to see them together, training, or eating, or simply walking about the village. Naruto jabbers away and Sai graciously listens, nodding along dutifully all the while, even taking notes.
Naruto is skeptical, but he's also secretly overjoyed. He loves the rest of his friends, but he's never gotten close to someone like he's getting with Sai. He and Sai didn't know one another growing up. Sai didn't see the village hate him, and didn't have that residual instinct clinging to him. The rest of the Konoha 12 are his closest friends now, but he knows he still offsets them sometimes.
The first time Sai reaches out and laces their fingers together, Naruto sputters slightly and kinda tries to tug his hand away. Sai doesn't let go, and Sai is weird anyway, so Naruto just... let's it happen. Sai is his friend, and it feels nice. Why stop?
Beyond his general want and like for Naruto, another thing soon becomes glaringly apparent. That thing being Sasuke, and it's at this point Sai feels his first truly, deeply negative emotion since being freed from ROOT.
Jealousy. Insane, deep, almost frenzied jealousy. He knows he resembles Sasuke to an extent, and he knows Naruto wants more than anything to bring his ex-teammate home. Sometimes, it's all he can talk about.
Sasuke this, Sasuke that. Naruto is so stuck on that moron it makes his teeth grind. Sasuke left him behind— he doesn't deserve Naruto. He doesn't buy him food, he doesn't hold his hand, he doesn't listen to every word he says. He doesn't treat him like he's supposed to.
Sai doesn't know what to do with jealousy, so he lets it fester. Smiles benignly around it, reaching for Naruto all the while.
They get close enough for Naruto to open up about his childhood and doubts and fears. He gets used to looking over his shoulder and seeing Sai there. He starts to rely on him, lighting up when he sees him, smiling up at him and trusting him.
Sai kisses him for the first time and it feels so good. Sai has read every manual on how to do this, and how to do it well. And once he gets his hands on Naruto, the idea of taking them off feels torturous.
Sai feels. Fully, wholly, with the entirety of his being. He's happy, and he's satisfied, and he's yearning, and wanting, and grasping, and taking.
His bottled up want explodes, and Naruto is smothered in it. He's never been wanted before. He's never had someone see him for him and decide he's their goal. Sai took things step by careful step. He gave enough of a damn about Naruto to do this right.
He treats Naruto like he's precious. He's so careful, even though Naruto is tough as stone, he acts as though he's glass. He focuses on him, on the reactions he gives and the best way to swallow them. He maps every inch of his body and learns it.
He's gentle. Naruto knows a lot, but he doesn't know gentle.
They don't tell anyone, but they're together. Their love is quiet but pointed. Sai spends his days drawing Naruto, capturing his likeness on paper through careful ink. Naruto has someone to turn to who cares about him, who takes the time to genuinely try to examine his feelings and react to them.
They have hobbies together outside of their identities as shinobi. Sai is the only one who knows how much Naruto loves to garden and keep plants. He helps him with it, and Naruto spends hours keeping him company while he draws. They spend time crafting seals, Sai with steady enough hands for it, and Naruto willing to share his knowledge with him.
Sai doesn't treat Naruto like an idiot or brush him off when he's upset. If there's something he doesn't know or understand, he asks Naruto to explain it, or he reads about it in a book. He takes every single one of his concerns seriously, and soothes him as best he knows how.
The first time they run into Sasuke, Sai would be so incredibly smug. Sasuke would seethe because this is basically his replacement here, and boy has he replaced effectively.
Sasuke might want Naruto later, after all is said and done, but it'd be too late. He left, and Sai was here. Sasuke might claim to be the "better version" but that doesn't mean he won, because unlike him, Sai actually gave a shit.
Sakura finding out they're dating and being like "I'm sorry, what 🧍 since when??"
Naruto would be like "For the last four months! We make out like, all the time!"
I feel like they'd unironically be so healthy. Sai would actually research this shit and how to do it right. Naruto wouldn't even know what to do with this much stability. Can't be an emotionally unreliable mess if you don't understand emotions very well, let alone feel many of them, am I right?
Ft. Down bad Sai who knows what he wants and is willing to read as many books as it takes to get it. They'd share an apartment and garden together on the roof. They'd invent seals together while debating their constructs back and forth. Sai would dunk on Sasuke every chance he got. It'd be beautiful 😫
