#nonbinary exclusion

[nonbinarynow]

Something that annoys me so much is that there arent many transfem spaces. Sure there are plenty of spaces that call themselves transfem, but they mean trans women.

I dont have a space to go to which doesent instantly gender me. I want to be in community with transfems but binary trans women just forget enbens exist while still using the language of non binary acceptance.

This is what I meant in my post about the binarisation of nonbinary and intersex language. It will eventually push out those who it was made for, those who created it to be seen and heard and find community by forcing them back into binaries they do not fit and cannot fit even if they tried. I hope you are able to find a transgender community soon. You exist as a transfem and an enban, and there are others like you. You will find your community soon enough 🫂 💛🤍💜🖤

[sometimesraven]

I have personally spoken about transandrophobia,,,, once. ONCE in the entire history of this blog, aside from reblogging a post or two. I have been utterly silent.

I grew up hating men and masculinity for trauma reasons. I still feel actively unsafe in male dominated spaces. Fuck, I’m even kinda scared of butch lesbians. These are all things I’m unlearning and actively work to heal from. So I get it. I do. You see a transmasc person who has medically transitioned and you don’t see how they can possibly be treated differently to cis men.

But if the fact that I, a pre-t non-passing transmasc nonbinary, can’t even express sadness that I feel excluded from my LOCAL community without literally being called names and cussed out isn’t proof enough that we’re treated differently idk what is. As if being “largely unseen by bigots” is at all a blessing or even fucking true. It’s the same mindset as aphobia and biphobia — that just because we’re able to hide a little better in some cases proves that we don’t have it as bad.

All trans people are fucking oppressed, yes. We all deserve equal resources and say within this community.

You can’t literally tell us constantly that we’re oppressed differently (or not oppressed at all????) and then be mad when we make our own words and lines of awareness to bring attention to that difference.

We’re not tearing the community apart. We’re not “whiny transmisogynistic bitches” (interesting use of a largely feminine insult 🤔)

Transmasc people are not your scapegoat. Stop turning your hatred inward — don’t let the real enemy use your self-loathing to tear us apart. All we’re asking for is recognition and support.

[thewolfofthestars]

When will LGBTQ+ ppl LEARN that putting down or casting out other members of the community will 👏 not 👏 make 👏 cishets 👏 like 👏 you 👏

They'll play nice and pretend they're cool with you for licking boot and then as soon as you become even remotely inconvenient to them, upset the norm just a little too much for their liking, you're right back at fuckin square one being systemically oppressed again except this time you've driven away everyone who would support you

Because you were never free of that oppression. They were only playing nice with you bc you were doing their dirty work for them, because you were fulfilling a specific and highly restricted role in their social order, and the second you deviate from your place they fuck you. Because you were supposed to be the gay friend they could trot out to say "see I'm not homophobic!" You were supposed to be the trans guy that shat on the enbies so that the cishets could point to you and say "see, there are some sensible trans people that agree with me, there are only two genders!" You were supposed to be the good wholesome white middle-class lesbian couple with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence so they could point to you and say " see, they're just like us! Not like those weird gross queers with their rainbows and piercings and crazy hair and their loud protests and their degenerate lifestyles." You weren't supposed to be an actual human being with rights.

And the ONLY way we will get those rights is by getting the fuck together and fighting for them as a group. ALL of us. The gays, the lesbians, the bis, the transes, the enbies, the aces, the aros, the stargender quoi-demisexual polyamorous kinkster drag kings. Everyone.

WE DO NOT EXIST TO BE PALATABLE TO ALLOCISHETS. We exist for OURSELVES, to be ourselves and live our lives in a way that makes us happy and fulfilled. And maybe for you that means 2.5 kids and a white picket fence, but for others that means being openly, loudly, profoundly, proudly, inconveniently queer. And you won't get to live your white-picket-fence life in peace if your fellow queers are not also free to live their lives in peace. Our community is about liberation, for everyone. Everyone should be able to live and love freely. And if everyone is not free, then no one is free.

So I say this to ace/aro spectra exlusionists:

to trans and/or nonbinary exclusionists:

to transmedicalists:

to bi/pan/multiple-attraction exclusionists:

to those of you who would disparage satellites of the LGBTQ+ community, such as kinksters, furries, polyamorists, dragsters, sex workers:

to those of you who draw lines in the sand and cut out those of us who are ambiguous, strange, hard to define, don't fit into your personal definition of the L, G, B, and T:

to those of you who exclude anyone you think is too loud, too proud, too cringey, too weird, too queer:

You better learn your history and change your tune quick, or you can fuck right off.

We're here, we're queer, and y'all need to get the fuck used to it.

[nonbinarynow]

Why is your post tagged exorsexism if it is dealing with just men, addresses men and subsumes is under men? Just because you are not misgendering us as men does not make you progressive, and certainly not more so than those who misgender us as women.

Exorsexism is non-binary specific. How can we be excluded from a term that was created to explain our oppression?

[totes-random-omg]

Little sad confession time. I thought I was ok with my partner’s interpretation of trans vs nonbinary, even though he sees it differently than I do... But last night I tried to get him to guess the word trans, by listing myself, another enby, and a trans woman... and his guess was “nonbinary”, when I said “no, trans”, he said “but I thought (name of enby) was nonbinary?”... and my heart just kinda sank that he really doesn’t see us as trans. Like, I knew this, but I didn’t realise it this way I guess. We’d talked before about umbrella terms - for me the umbrella terms are “cis” and “trans”, with “binary” and “nonbinary” as lower umbrella terms under trans. For him the umbrella terms are “male”, “female”, and “nonbinary”, with “cis” and “trans” as sub umbrellas under male and female. I really thought I was ok with that, but I guess I’m not so ok with it after all.

[adhd-hippie]

OMG I’m in a class and the teacher keeps saying “he or she” which is just like ugh, fuck you.

This annoys me for 3 reasons...

1) He/She sounds like shit, it’s clunky and awkward, and just...ugh!

2) He/She is exclusionary, like this instructor obviously didn’t get the memo that non-binary people exist.

3) Saying he/she is completely unnecessary because THE WORD THEY FUCKING EXISTS!