#nooneelsethinkslikeme

[anoyint]

I will internally pronounce it SPINE-L until the end of my days because of the day I learned that spinel was rarer than ruby yet costs less because society is like that. On that day I Swear it was pronounced spine-L, like spine or spinemas.

[anoyint]

What am I missing?

As usual, I’ve been thinking about myself and getting nowhere with understanding myself. One thing I’ve realized, though, is that normal people don’t DO that! I’m missing something in life that has led me to think this way! I’m fairly certain that it is a direct result of the doomed path that Gifted Children(tm) go down in life. It all starts off normal, where we are born into this word and try to understand it, just like everyone else. But sometime after the middle of elementary school, the other kids start to learn about social structures and whatnot. Dunno how it’s triggered, but the kids start paying attention to how other kids act and try to fit in, which is super easy because all the other kids are doing the same. Except the “gifted” children. Those kids are still fascinated by the world around them, and are eager to keep that up. They seem to accelerate above the level of other kids, and do stuff like get to the high school reading level in 4th grade, demonstrate a profound understanding of things other kids haven’t even heard of, and various other things that earn gratuitous amounts of praise from teachers. The problem here is that they never learn to socialize with other kids. So by the time they realize that they need to learn how to interact with other kids, everyone else has excelled in the ability to follow the now unspoken social norms. Gifted kids are on their own; they have trouble making friends and can’t figure out how to do it because there’s no one there to help them. So what I think happened to me is that I a. never got around to trying to figure out social skills, and only realized I needed them once I got into high school (with all the new kids that I couldn’t figure out how to bond with), which led me to b. Continue on my knowledge endeavors, forget my original motives, and try to decode the entirety of the human conscious. But you know what? I’ve made so many discoveries and learned so much along the way, that the only thing I wish had changed about past-confused-me is that I’d know all this, but kept going anyways.

[anoyint]

Does anyone else have those days where you look at your writing and behavior and think “man, I am not as good at saying things today as I am on other days” but you can’t do anything about it, and just acknowledge the fact the things you do and say have a higher chance of being cringe?

[anoyint]

Do I sound like a Murderer?

Writing these posts is pretty therapeutic for me I think. Not only can I write my many thoughts and feelings down in a place where I can be validated and criticized (people have yet to do so but that’s ok), but I can really reflect and build on said thoughts. And one thing I’ve realized is that I have a certain manner of speaking my thoughts. I feel like one of my many fears is being inferior to others or being a bad person (which is why I procrastinate and stuff; not doing anything neither improves nor makes my situation worse.), and I’m making connections in my manner of speech to many problematic characters. I’m thinking people like Holden Caulfield (Albeit he’s a fictional character, but his author spoke like that too) and examples as extreme as Joseph Duncan, that one creepy murder-rapist-pedophile that had a blog (EIEIO) that I’m reading because psychology. Examples like murderers bring me to the worst conclusions, but the fact that I’m scared of the possibility of being a psychopath like him means that I’m not a psychopath like him. Maybe it’s the way many introverts express their thoughts. Like I said, J.D. Salinger, author of The Catcher in the Rye, also spoke like that, and after walking a documentary about him in class I know that he was just a normalish father (thathappenedtoturnintoarecluse). don’t have enough examples to reflect off of, and every (wannabe) scientific thinker needs more evidence before coming to such a conclusion.

[anoyint]

No one ever explains enough.

I know that the point of most conversations is not to explain the subject matter to a confused onlooker, but I wish it was easier to figure out things that don’t have words to describe them. Like there’s this one video I’m watching by Crowne Prince that’s called something like “Synesthesia, a new way of learning art” and they keep TALKING about how they learn differently through sounds, words, and images, but once they get to something I think would be GROUNDBREAKING for confused people like me to understand, they stop talking about it and don’t delve any deeper!!! Crowne Prince is all “What???? You can’t read long paragraphs and retain info from them??? That’s so weird haha” and that’s it! No one asking why that is! Couldn't they at least say something like “maybe it’s because blahblahblah” and elaborate on how to change yourself like that? The other guy even commented on how he always asks about why other people think the way they do out of envy and stuff but DOESNT DO THAT HERE. I’m like that! I would do that! Yea I could just do the thinking myself, but that’s not why I’m here I’m here to learn from OTHER PEOPLE’S THINKING.

[anoyint]

I know no one is reading these, but if they are, the tag NoOneElseThinksLikeMe isn’t me saying how special and smart I am. What I’m trying to convey is that no one else will ever inhabit my mind or thoughts. I am the only me, and I will never find anyone else that is exactly the same. And, well, these posts are my thoughts nd stuff. There’s a lot of things that I recognize in myself and my behaviors that I can’t find anyone else talking about, but I want the words to describe it to other people and make them more aware of these things seldom talked about. Since no one else seems to think like me.

[anoyint]

Listened to my thoughts last night. When I recognize one voice as an individual, I can kinda... hear where it’s coming from. Like I instinctively look in the direction I hear it coming from, despite the fact that it’s not a real noise and it’s just my brain making connections between concepts. Maybe it has something to do with neuron placement in the brain? Like you look in the direction that the neurons are actually placed in the brain? When I’m visualizing an image, it kinda feels like I’m focusing on something behind my head, and that makes sense since the vision part of your brain is in the back. Idk I’ll look more into it.

[anoyint]

Oh btw I have no idea how I obtained this blog but it’s mine now. Praise be to Anoyint, your new overlord.