For Pharmaceuticals of the Old World by Desmondbegood. The mod adds a bunch of new Chems to Fallout 4. I contributed a portrait and images of the Chems. They're military surplus-style textures that fit well within Fallout, while avoiding the "Oh this guy is modding their game into Call of Duty" feeling. It's being uploaded on NexusMods this weekend!
When possible I try to find ways to surprise people and give them something extra; in this case that's two magazine cover .pngs and some game-ready .dds files. All I was asked for was pictures for the mod page, so I'm hoping the modder enjoys the gift. For me, the most fun part was giving Nora a Sole Survivor AU through this image!
My therapist sent me to an army wives' support group because I was ranting about American imperialism conscripting my husband + how scared I am that the nukes will fall before I ever see him again and all I got was babysitting duty while a bunch of Beth-Anns, Suzannes and Carols drank nuka mint juleps and gossiped about cheating on their husbands.
Don't they know it's the end of the world?
(ref/sheet music: 'mighty blue' published by leo feist inc. 1927)
Happy 4th anniversary to my Fallout 4 fanfic, Long Time Running.
Jack is imagining Nora with him and his newfound family. Hanging onto her spirit is how he's able to get through the apocalypse. Not everyone shares his peace.
Deacon, accustomed to patience for Jack's whims, is reading. Nora wears a bright smile, but she's a ghost and a memory - an idyll of a dead woman. While Jack remains focused on imagining his wife's happiness, he doesn't notice Olivia - the daughter he adopted to satisfy Nora's last wish - lying across the couch, staring into space. Shaun is distracted by Jack's Pip-Boy, but his posture is stiff and uncomfortable, while overshadowed and caged by Jack's muscles. RJ is glancing at Olivia, concerned.
December 3rd, 2021 was the day I began drafting LTR. On December 3, 2025, I spoke with my psych about how painful this year has been. How guilty I feel that, because I'm in survival mode, I have not been as creative as usual.
That no matter how much I try to logically untangle or sit with my neurosis, a great gray beast weighs upon my chest. I talked through it and around it and over it and I'm just tired of the monotony. Depression is fucking boring, dude. David Foster Wallace said, "There's a lot of narcissism in self-hatred". Not only am I annoyed by the ontological uselessness of self-concern, it's also dull beyond repair.
Artists are supposed to process grief through art, but sometimes depression is so debilitating there's little energy for it. In 2025, I only published 32,738 words across two chapters - my lowest fic output in four years. Even though there's nothing I want more than to be with everyone pictured above - my brain hurts so much that it eats up all the space I have to even express or cope with that pain through creativity.
Fitting, then, that on my fic's anniversary, expressing guilt about the fic was followed by a stereotypical blurting out the oof owie truth movie moment where, when I was questioned about whether I experience seasonal depression, I answered "Seasons don't matter, I think I've been depressed since I was a baby". Anyway I have an antidepressant prescription now. four for you zoloft you go zoloft
picrew and a wip? smoke and a pancake? flapjack and a cigarette? pipe and a crepe? bong and a blintz? tagging: @unrepentantweirdo @tunnelsnke @a-mere-bog-witch @x688plsloveme @kable-is-drawing @joannascribblesfallout @incognito-insomniac @some27-url @secondhand-lions @leavingautumn13 @taffingtons and whoever else would like to partake!
if you want me to tag you in future wip/tag games, interact w this post if you like!
ty @1slushy for sharing this character maker - here's the family + an excerpt from long time running, chapter 19
top ten six goobie woobies: anne of mean gables, dogmeat, idiot bf RJ (complained 2 much, got the soother); cuteness aggression jack, nora is not impressed*, uncle chrome dome aka deacon who unfortunately looks like boss baby
Thanks @notanandalitebandit @incognito-insomniac for WIP tags!
My new WIP is a Fallout TV/FO4 crossover called Accidents. It's a pre-Great War epistolary that follows Barb and Stephanie, as well as Nora from my main fanfic, Long Time Running.
AO3 // Spotify
Adrift in her marriage and tasked with negotiating nuclear war, Barb reaches across latitudes for her best friend.
Nora resents and represents flighty divorce cases while heartsick during Jack's deployment to Anchorage.
A former teenage runaway on her sixth personal reinvention, Stephanie takes a minimum wage Vault-Tec internship to make ends meet between roles that aren't calling - at least, that's what she tells coworkers.
Stories about capitalism, police states and pretending to carry on like normal through the end of the world. Told through handmade diaries, telegrams, advertisements for 35$ hot dogs, tabloid headlines, terminal entries, Pip-Boy messages, notes from management, letters from friends, nastygrams from the credit card company and other ephemera documenting pre-Great War life.
Anyway what are y'all working on? What's good @bokatan @leavingautumn13 @taffingtons @secondhand-lions @some27-url @theanonymouscosmos
Last one for Pharmaceuticals of the Old World; also posted this and that screenshot I made for the project.
It's entertaining thinking of what Nora would be like as the Sole Survivor. In writing LTR, Nora's somewhere between God, an imaginary friend and a ghost to Jack. She's still alive in the narrative because part of his internal POV is thinking about what Nora would do. The reader is invited to see Nora at Jack's side, while being aware that the other characters in the room cannot see her.
So, I often have to think of what Jack would do vs what he assumes Nora would do vs what Nora would actually do. Nora's equipped for the political issues of Fallout 4 in a way that Jack is not; she had the ability to turn disgust with corrupt systems into action, whereas Jack sort of turtled up and lost his nerve after getting revenge on Kellogg and meeting Father at the Institute.
A friend once told me, "If you really want to be punk rock and change the world, you have to put on a suit". Nora went from protests and punk shows to donning the suit; she'd take stock of a socially stratified Commonwealth Wasteland and very quickly learn how best to interact with people and know when to put on the metaphorical suit. Jack's a bull in a china shop. He's a golden retriever with a fluffy tail that knocks shit over and he doesn't notice.
I do think she'd be thick as thieves with Curie. They'd have a fun time.
