#now introducing:

[pookielious]

Another one of my favorite little unnoticeable moments is when Ron is in the eagles nest and bumps directly into a chair bc he wasn't paying attention to where he was walking it's so funny to me

This is our war criminal guys

[protagaster]

Introducing: The Harlot AU

@somereaderinblue

Can we say Zippy's the one who started this AU? That way, our hands are clean!

[lover-of-skellies]

Can you imagine how much of a fricken pain it'd be to have Fresh as some animatronic daycare attendant?

Like,, sure, he's good with kids. He keeps them entertained and makes them laugh, he's surprisingly good at persuading them to go to sleep, and yet, he's off doing daredevil stunts on the play equipment

When he's not floating around and doing the same kind of jester-like moves that Sun and Moon do, he's probably cruising around with his heelys or doing kickflips with his skateboard

He also needs to be cleaned regularly and be changed into identical copies of his normal outfit, because he will lose his freaking mind if some kid puts their sticky hands on him and stains his Rad New Threads™

The man is a menace, and while he's usually good about not scaring the kids, there's now a permanent rule stating that he's never to open his mouth around them again, because on the occasions that he did, the kids cried and were completely adamant that they saw... What was that? An alien starfish?? In his mouth??? Yeah, no thank you

The alien starfish also fell out a handful of times and gave some parents the scare of their lives when it started moving around on its own, so if he absolutely must open his mouth, he's required to wear something that will prevent the alien starfish incident from ever happening again

[tanoraqui]

What Does Kill You Can Make You Stronger, Too

Chapter 12: Speaking With Corpses

questions and politics of fierce corpsehood - rescue! - attack! - a few discreet Inquiries

The gaggle of young cultivators stared at Jiang Yanli. Through the gauze of her veil, Jiang Yanli stared back at the young cultivators.

Automatically, she considered their dispositions, notable sect alliances, and tactical positions. The two blocking doors were allied with righteous Nie, the cobalt-robed Rao girl who’d identified her by the front door and the Hen boy in bronze cutting off the kitchen (her mind went to the flash of a sword on a dark and crowded battlefield, Wen Ning kneeling in the forest, a hail of arrows at Qiongqi Pass). Next nearest to the kitchen were the Lan Sect disciples, equally if not more known for their scorn of heretical arts—though just now, two of them were sick with corpse poison, and their leader was the only junior who hadn’t reached for a sword (yet).

Between them and the front door was the Ouyang boy—old allies of the Jiangs, or at least, old partners in the dye business. Sometimes rivals, though not recently. Across was the Jiao boy, an even older ally but inching back in pure terror, plumblossom embroidery splattered with dropped congee—and, technically, neither she nor Jin Ling was YunmengJiang anyway, on the surface of things. Behind the Jiao boy was a small table and the last two juniors: a Sang in their white and dark green (a client of LanlingJin but his face twisted with furious disgust) and the last of the corpse-poisoned, a young woman in pale green robes of a sect Jiang Yanli couldn’t place. Her sword was fully drawn, her hand shook on the hilt, and from the way her gaze darted, she was likely affiliated with either Lan or Nie.

Between them all, in the center of the room, was a square table, large enough for one or two to stand upon. Half a step behind her, still closest to the door through which the living corpse had gone, was Wei Wuxian (grab Jin Ling and run while I hold them off—). Just in front of her was Jin Ling, Suihua raised defensively, and at some point she’d put a hand on his shoulder—whether for his stability of hers, she wasn’t sure.

In her other hand, she still held the last, unclaimed bowl of congee.

[keep reading on AO3]

[trophywife-femme]

why do we call it blowjobs and handjobs? i do not dream of labour.

[hockey-related]

Tomáš Tatar ako Malý Mirko

[mistressoffandoms]

[bogkeep]

anyway speaking of gay,, my super cool girlfriend (aaaaaaaaaaaa) went back home today............. the one week date has concluded........... i am feeling lonely and sad but in a way happy??? not about her going home but. that it went really well. like. wow im in a relationship and i actually like it and i really like my gf. what a plot twist so uh since at least some of my followers are somewhat invested in my life happenings (why else would you be following this blog, it’s essentially a sketchbook/diary combo), here are some of the dating things we did:

science center/museum!!! it’s this place for kids to learn about/experience SCIENCE but it’s always a lot of fun no matter how old you are i think

sharing a milkshake LIKE A CLICHÉ in the restaurant on top of the Tyholt Tower (which is slowly spinning around so you get to see the view of the city!!!). we also got balloons

sushi place O: the waiter said there was a “friendship discount” this week and then asked “you’re friends, right” and there was this awkward pause.... like. yes. we are friends. but we’re also on a date

marathoned all the agent carter that is on netflix. what a good series

went to see The Movies, twice O: we saw Birkebeinerne, a norwegian movie that is about skiing and rugged bearded warriors being moms to a tiny baby. we also saw that new disney thing about animals

vidya games!!! we kicked butt at mario kart when we lowered the CPU difficulty a bit ahaha.... also pokemon. pokemon is so great. we got the mew code together

listening to music together on the bus ALSO LIKE A CLICHÉ

making food together??? GASP THE DOMESTICITY..... i wrote ‘gay nerd’ in ketchup on her breakfast. good times

speaking of food we did indeed have spaghetti

holding hands a lot?? GOSH

gf kept being terrible and buying me stuff............ a comic book, a ravenclaw scarf, a bmo figurine, the froakie,,, YOU NEED TO STOP FEEDING THE SPOILED GREEDY MATERIALISTIC PERSON THAT IS ME when all i have to offer are old t-shirts and a wonky fish plushie i made in high school

also some other things but OVERALL V NICE DATES, A++ WOULD DO AGAIN. what worries me, however, is how much i enjoy doing Straight Couple Clichés that i usually abhor but now that we made it gay i........ liked it a lot.................. send help............................................