I’ve seen some pretty concerning things that people have said about OCD on the internet, and it’s especially painful because so many of them mean well.
I’m going to address them, but I don’t want anyone feeling super guilty if they’ve said/done these things before. It’s okay to make mistakes, and the ones I’m talking about are usually in good faith. With that out of the way, here I go.
1: “Good people don’t worry this much about being bad!” I understand the good intentions behind this, but it’s an affirmation that can actually be rather detrimental. OCD can use this as a metric for how good of a person someone is being. Those with OCD who are in recovery might regress because “Oh no, I’m not worried. Am I a bad person now?” This statement is only nice to hear for the first 10 seconds before it becomes a weapon.
2: “I can’t do x, I have OCD!” Yes, OCD is a disability, and it’s absolutely understandable to want to avoid triggers at all costs. However, if you never interact with it, the fear will never go away. Of course, exposure therapy only works in a controlled environment where the one with OCD is CONSENTING TO and AWARE of what’s going on. It needs to be your choice to do this in order to work, otherwise, the fear will spike and it’ll actually set you back. That being said, that doesn’t mean you should never interact with a trigger. It’s important to try and make progress, or else OCD will control your life, and that’s not healthy. It should just always be on your own terms and at a time where you’ve built up your confidence.
3: On the flip side, encouraging people to just jump straight into ERP (exposure and response prevention). As mentioned before, that’s not okay either. That’s signing up for panic attacks and setbacks. First, you need to work on the cognitive side and try and delay compulsions until you feel ready to completely avoid them. This delay can be 5 seconds, 2 minutes, an hour, as long as you’re taking back some control. You can even build up to changing the compulsion slightly (such as applying hand sanitizer instead of completely washing your hands) before you do direct exposures and don’t perform your compulsions. Make sure you’re ready! Forcing someone with OCD into an exposure they’re not ready for causes psychological harm! People without OCD: please don’t do that to your loved ones!
4: Treating reassurance like a treatment method. Seeking reassurance is a compulsion. Providing reassurance reinforces the need for it. If someone with OCD is constantly asking for your reassurance, try and work with them instead of blindly giving it (just make sure you’re following the guidelines above. Flat out refusing isn’t good either!)
5: Don’t assume what the fear behind the obsession is. So many just jump to contamination OCD being all about germs and sickness when it isn’t always the case! Usually, behind every theme someone with OCD has, there is a core fear. For example, someone could fear abandonment, so their contamination OCD isn’t about illness, but rather being perceived as gross and left by their loved ones.
That’s all I can think of right now, but I hope these made sense and were worded well. Let me know if you have anything to add!











