Listening to someone’s heartbeat or caring for them when they’re ill for Feysand please?
Ofc but please forgive me... idk what came to me to make it so ANGSTY
He doesn’t dare to move his head from her chest. Listening to her heart.
If she was awake, she would’ve called him a mother hen, but she’s not. She couldn’t even keep her eyes open last night, so he let her rest for as long as she needed.
He looks at the clock on their nightstand. Half past ten in the morning. It’s been more than twelve hours since she fell asleep, and he’s been checking her symptoms every thirty minutes. She’s been so much better than a week before; no fever or shortness of breath, only fatigue, which hopefully the long night's sleep she had will make her feel better after. Everything is good, and she has pushed through the worst of her illness.
Still, that doesn’t stop him from worrying about her. He’s been worried since the moment she started coughing and immediately began losing color in her cheeks.
For the past week, the idea of losing her had loomed over his head like a shadowy figure. And if he did lose her, there was no doubt he would follow her. Follow them.
He continues listening. There is a change in the rhythm of her heartbeat, which only concerns him for a second, then he feels a movement in her hand. She is waking. His sister’s heart beats steadily and powerfully in his beloved chest.
Silene’s heart has been keeping Feyre alive for the past five years. Five years since he lost his other half. His twin sister, whom he loved more than anything in this world. His ten years self thought no one else would take place in his heart as much as she did. Didn’t want anyone else to enter his heart.
But then he met his Feyre. And not only did she fit perfectly in his heart, alongside his sister, but she touched his soul as well. Silene once told him about the concept of soulmates; if she were alive, he would’ve told her he had found his. And how much he wished she could find someone with whom she could experience the like of his connection with Feyre, just like how they shared everything else.
He feels her long finger through his hair, inhaling deeply and exhaling longly. Her heartbeat changes with the movement of her chest. He looks up and finally sees the sparkles returning in those sky-blue eyes of hers after a long week. He could sob in relief, but the smile she gives him stops him in his tracks. They never fail to make him fall more and more in love with her.
She is exquisite.
The first time she gave him one of her beautiful smiles, she was just a scrawny girl who had lived most of her life in different hospitals with different medical devices attached to her all the time. She was only twelve years old.
In her latest hospital transition, his mother was her nurse. He remembers how she asked him to visit the hospital so she wouldn’t be alone and how he threw a tantrum about not wanting to play with a girl. The only girl he liked was his twin, and his twin alone. Looking back, that little boy had no idea his life was about to change by a set of blue eyes with a paint streak on her cheek.
“Hello, my love,” he mumbles, his face so close to her he could count every freckle on her cheeks and nose.
“Hi,” she replies shyly, with those blushes that always appear whenever he calls her by a nickname. She is beautiful. The most beautiful person he has ever seen.
They stay like that for a while, staring at each other as if unfamiliar with every inch of the other’s face. Feyre keeps her finger in his hair while he rubs her back soothingly, almost like massaging them to relieve the stiffness in her muscles.
“You scared me so much,” he whispers brokenly, silver lining in his eyes. Feyre moves her hand from his hair to caress his cheek softly. He regrets those words instantly.
But he didn’t need to voice them. Feyre has already seen.
“I know,” she says, wiping the lone tear from his cheek. “But don’t you trust me?”
He closes his eyes. Already knows what will come next.
“I told you I would keep her heart safe with me, didn’t I?” she says gently but firmly. Any disorientation in her voice from her long sleep is gone.
And she has. She has done everything to keep her body healthy–a worthy home for Silene’s heart, she had said when she woke up from her surgery.
Silene wasn’t only an important figure in his life, she was Feyre’s first real friend until she lost her life in a freak accident along with her mother. It wasn’t her turn to leave, and Feyre never stops feeling guilty for it.
It is stupid and unreasonable, but guilt knows no rational bounds. It is the only thing that keeps Feyre moving forward, keeping her friend’s gentle heart safe in her ribs and protecting her brother at all costs.
Falling in love with him was possible because of her. Because of the hope already planted in her heart that had given her the courage to finally open her soul to him and let him in.
She looks at his violet-blue eyes and doesn’t stop her small strokes on her thumb against his cheek. They look tired and haunted.
Yes. She will stay strong for him, just like he has been for her in the past few years, all the while losing every member of his family in the span of a year. Even before all of it, he had been and still is her greatest joy in life.
They are each other’s anchor in this life, and one wouldn’t survive without the other.
Their very souls are intertwined so that when the time comes, he will meet her in the afterlife.
