thinking about The Rescue, when Din places Grogu down to let him go to Luke and Grogu hugs Din's leg like he does for uppies or when he's scared and how you can feel the amount of restraint it takes for Din not to scoop him back up into his arms again like he's grown so used to doing.
I just know his heart and his mind are at war here.
not exactly the same situation, but Din picks up Grogu in such a way i cannot get over.
and this is his expression seeing Luke walk away with his son Grogu.
all gifs I used aren't mine. full credit to the original makers.
I've deleted and rewritten this a million times trying to put this neatly and maybe find sources but SCREW IT we ball!
So the thing I think about with Cup's monster complex [what I've deemed his "I'm a bad person" thought process, he is but that's not the point] is how it protects and damages him
Like this guy is out here talking to all his pals pre-Labyrinth and going "You might've destroyed xyz with the intent to kill but I actually killed people and I know your not as bad as me cuz I said so" which CANNOT be good for his mental health, sure it makes everyone else feel better because I don't think they fully process the fact of Cup comparing their wrongs with his and how that's not good
I think we see the point of it being at it's worst within the Labyrinth when he's debating killing himself in order to beat the Devil, which ya under first glance is him debating on ultimatum but it's genuinely suicide ideation we saw there. The idea "better people are better without me" [<-I'll get to this in a second]
This self-destructive pattern is what pulls Cup to the points where he's at now. He's a bad person, being a bad person [aka associated with the mafia] will lead to bad things happening to the people around him which is his fault [his thoughtprocess nobody else's] because it was the result of a chain reaction of his own decisions, so now he's trying to make good decisions to protect the people around him
But he can't leave and those things that are actively still a threat to the people he loves. So then he picks up this idea that he can help them by being a better person but also by utilizing his skills that he's learned from growing up in the mafia. So it's never enough improvement but he's trying, that's what he tells himself.
Because it's how he protected Mugs, do the dirty work, so that Mugs didn't get hurt. Take the hard hits [literally and figuratively] so when he finds other people he cares about, but now holds a higher standard for him as a person, he finds himself at a problem
The easy answer is lean on what he knows, the hard one is learn new things to handle the situation, rely on other's around him and trust them, and that not every bad thing is his fault
And after the Labyrinth, after Mugs took control of the Devil situation [he didn't end up in that position, he took it from his brother], when he's forced to heal and recover, is when he finally starts to internalize some of that, is when he finally actually starts to improve as a person
And this is when we discover one of Cup's greatest fears that was hinted at in the Labyrinth, he's terrified of losing everyone, just like he lost his parents when he was 3, just like he was forced away from Elder Kettle, and more then what he had to deal with as a teen. With the only grounding force being "At least Mugs is with me"
And I don't just mean loss as in physically gone, I mean morally and emotionally as well. You can see this fear with Holly, imagining a future with her. Imagining all the ways he could lose the girl he knows right in front of him.
This is when he falls back into older habits, when he's afraid, then when he's guilty because he just ruined another good thing didn't he? When he's kissed by Fanny and reminded that he's just a crook, he couldn't do something good without there being something else. And then he kills Winky.
Because Cup doesn't like acknowledging his worst feelings. He knows they're there. He just doesn't want to see them.
huh. also, What's That Absolutely Adoorrable Thing There?
"Absolutely adorable-? What are you talking about? Only thing there is...the Biograft-?"
Exorspace gasps with excitement, more than happy to show off his lovely creation.
"AH! Of course they mean my lovely biografts. Each one is summoned personally by me! Mainly because I'm the only one who can do it! They're servants mostly! But I have my own personal one of course, he was the first one I ever summoned!"
Exor wipes a nonexistant tear from his eye.
"Ah, they grow up so fast…"
"...This would be a regular servant, then. I've seen your personal one. You...can definitely tell its his."
you know, some people will get really into something when they're going through shit in their life like idk a tv show or whatever. i do that too and always have but i think getting really into polar exploration because my life got all messed up and also ground to a halt over the last few months is like.....the weirdest one yet. anyways tonight i watched the werner herzog antarctica documentary featuring the depressed nihilist penguin and it was really good
