#orignalwork

[inkandhush]

Early Memories

Do you remember those nights? When the sun went down but we still had her light? Spring birds singing on their flight. The first rain of the year, dampening our fields. Gardens blooming and children running laughing down the streets. I can still hear the crips sound of leaves getting crushed. My shoes got wet, rushing through the puddles and mud. I also remember those nights, when I have been little. No sleep in sight, but the world outside was cold and brittle. On the tables and shelves candle wax dripping.

[julex93drawings]

Susan en la playa mientras Rex hace sus locuras, lo van a moler a golpes jajaj (quizas haga un extra de eso luego) Susan on the beach while Rex does his crazy things, they are going to beat him up hahaha (maybe i will do an extra of that later)

[demonbloodpal]

Annoying!

Adventures of students trying to do good actions at their school

Adventures of students trying to do good actions at their school Reading this will make your day better. #Annoying! #webcomic #LINEWEBTOON

[inkandhush]

I think, I know now, why I like picking apart movies, books and series so much. Looking at these characters so painfully close as if I wanted to autopsy them. I think I like the idea of someone thinking about me that way too. That if there is a way, we can make sense of the flaws of a fictional figure, understand and know them inside out, that maybe someone someday might have some grace on me too.

[inkandhush]

Crossroad

I am incredibly careless, people say.   Collecting bruises on my arms like honor decorations. Cuts and burns whose origins I cannot remember for the life of me. But I might trail over them every now and then. Mapping them out with my fingertips. Where have I been? Will they ever really fade? When the praise had long gone dry. And no one else seemed to mind them too. Standing at the crossroad now. Between what might be and had been. I can still hear them screaming and feel their nails on my skin.

[inkandhush]

Lover Girl

I stay out of cupid’s sight Sitting all alone at night Humming along sweet love songs as I swing by my own My head in the clouds and my feet on the ground Love dripping from my heart, my fingertips and painted on my lips But I am happily missed by Ero's hit It is just, what it is

As mentioned in my earlier post, I discovered in my teens, that I am asexual. As much as this had given me some relief and a sense of belonging, I still felt an incredible pressure to be in a relationship regardless of how wrong it felt to me. I am still feeling that pressure...

People tend to see love and sex as the best things known to mankind and everyone not agreeing is seen as different or even sick. Wrong in a way and especially when I was younger, I wanted to belong. I didn't want to lose the few people, that seemed to care about me and if faking crushes was what I had to do, I did it.

I mean, it wasn't like I didn't like romance or hated certain things claimed as being romantic, so what difference would it make? A lot, actually.

I started to experience a certain guilt whenever I got closer to someone, holding their hands and smiling, when they confessed to me because deep down, I always knew, I would never reciprocate those feelings.

But staying all alone was also not an option. So I tried being clear from the start, about how I felt, but it never seemed to make a difference: People saw a pretty face and decided that their feelings must be my feelings and that's it.

I started to feel less of a person, so I decided to stop forcing myself: I might not know, how being not alone looks like for me, but I won't let anyone pressure me anymore. In the meantime, I will sing my songs and read some unholy smut and I will still be valid.

[inkandhush]

Would you love me?

Would you love me in the dark, if there’d is nothing more than my voice? If you couldn’t see me? Couldn’t touch me? If I could give you nothing more than my thoughts and sheer being? Would you still love ME then?

Hello, I have not been active for a while. University and work kept me busy, but I also took the time, to sort some things out. See, at first, I was not sure, what to post. With everything going on and my tendency to only write, when I am down, I was not sure, what to settle for and how to find a more healthy balance.

But lately more and more voices are coming up against my ace and aro fellows and so I thought, a good starting point might be to share a bit more of my own discovery journey as an aroace person.

So, a little background information to this poem: I had posted it a couple of years already, but overworked it lately, noting that a lot had changed since I had first drafted it. It might come off as a classical love poem, simply asking for more than just a first glance sympathy and liking. A non ace person might see it as a request for more than skin deep love, that reaches beyond all the odds, life might throw at us.

As an ace person though, it represents way more to me. Especially as a femal read person, I had learned pretty fast, that people expect,e to fit into theri desires and fantasies, no matter, how I might feel about it and honestly, I lately realized, how scared I actually had been as a teenager. I had been overly prepared, reading every sex ed book and article I could get my hands on, hoping knowledge of what I thought was deemed to happen, would help me ease a little, but I only felt more and more trapped and I still do. I didn't want to get with anyone that way and I still don't.

But how could someone like me then? Or even love? THIS is what the poem is about. A scared to death asexual teenager, trying to figure out, how she could be loved, when she couldn't do the one thing, everyone kinda just expected from her.

[wizardsandco]