For the ships - Geralt and Jaskier, from Netflix's the Witcher? Or Carlos Alvarez and Jake Jensen from The Losers (2010)?
Geralt & Jaskier:
who’s the werewolf and who’s the hunter - Okay, hear me out: Geralt is the werewolf. He’s not supposed to be, but he got cursed or bit or something and he’s stuck in wolf form or whatever. Jaskier is a hunter but maybe not full time? I’m trying to picture him as mostly still just Jaskier but maybe he exagerrated his credentials to the cute barmaid or whatever? Anyway this alleged “hunter” runs across a wounded white wolf in the woods and just completely fails to notice there’s anything magical or cursed about him at all. Geralt keeps following him around because surely a hunter would know how to break this curse, right? RIGHT? Meanwhile Jasier has named him Daffodil or something and buys him a collar.
who’s the mermaid and who’s the fisherman - Jaskier is absolutely the mermaid. Maybe an Ariel kind of situation where he had a beautiful voice but it was stolen from him? Maybe he met Geralt and fell for him hard but when he realized Geralt wasn’t a full time fisherman and would be going back on the road soon Jaskier trades his voice for the ability to shapeshift to human and follow Geralt.
who’s the witch and who’s the familiar - Jaskier as the outgoing familiar to the secretive and mysterious witch Geralt. It’s basically canon! Everyone’s intimidated by Geralt so they basically leave him alone, but he’s actually kind of a chill dude who just wants to make a living and maybe not have his hut set on fire anytime soon.
who’s the barista and who’s the coffee addict - Jaskier the coffee addict! Geralt is working as a barista for.... reasons? Maybe he’s helping out a friend, or he opened the coffeeshop because he wanted something relaxing after he got out of the military, anyway, Jaskier ends up coming in like three times a day and Geralt starts to worry he’s going to be held accountable for this guy’s sudden and inevitable heart attack from caffeine overdose. But Jaskier mostly just has the hots for the stud working the espresso machine and is blowing a chunk of his paycheck on lattes for the excuse to see him.
who’s the professor and who’s the TA - PROFESSOR JASKIER AND TA GERALT. Jaskier is like, a music professor? Some famous composer with tenure that the university coddles because he brings in students and shit. Geralt is assigned to be his TA largely due to a mistake in the admissions office where his major got input incorrectly and now he’s stuck grading papers on a subject he doesn’t understand and could not give less of a shit about. Meanwhile Jaskier is determined to nurture Geralt’s inner musician which is going to end badly for both of them.
who’s the knight and who’s the prince(ss) - Okay, I’m playing this one straight because I really do like heroic Geralt riding to Jaskier’s rescue. Jaskier would be the princess, but he’d be a feral-ass princess who causes so much trouble the bad guys who tried to abduct him end up begging Geralt to take him back.
who’s the teacher and who’s the single parent - Geralt is the single parent to newly orphaned Ciri, and Jaskier is the tutor Geralt hires because he’s familiar with music and history from Ciri’s homeland.
who’s the writer and who’s the editor - I’d say Jaskier is the writer, he probably does a lot of like... blog-style vaguely biographical stuff. Think like Jenny Lawson or Allie Brosh but with more sex and a lot of descriptions of what he was wearing at the time. Geralt is the editor assigned by the publisher who wants to adapt Jaskier’s blog into a book, and Jaskier has blown through six deadlines already.


















