“We wanted to help people
We loved science and physiology, humans and disease
We read thousands of pages
Attended hundreds of lectures
Took more exams than we thought possible
Finals week felt insurmountable
We learned statistics and biochemistry
Immunology and pathophysiology
We mastered genetics, virology and pharmacology
We read scientific papers and learned how to dissect them
We came running when you needed us
Literally, running down the hallway
To the ICU, the trauma bay, labor and delivery
There were moments that we thought would break us
Moments that drove us to journaling, to therapy, to nightmares
Dead pregnant mothers with three kids at home.
The wail of a mother whose son just died.
We bent but we did not break
We returned because you needed us
Fear of walking into our place of work
Fear that we’d be killed by going to work
Fear that we’d kill a loved one because of our work
There were tears and sleepless nights and anti-anxiety medications
But you banged your pots and pans
You sent us pizzas and called us heroes
So we wore our masks, and our gowns, and our gloves, and our goggles
We decontaminated ourselves before going home and isolated ourselves from our families
How quickly the joy turned to defeat
You’ve learned to do your own research now
You know better than we do
Gaslighting is your language
Your selfishness is astounding
You don’t want our help when we ask you to stay healthy
Yet you arrive at our doors begging for help at the end
You hobbled our ability to help those who did what they were supposed to do
You killed our patients by filling our beds and using up our ventilators
This is a poem written by a fellow physician after reflecting on the veteran who died in Texas because of the ICU bed shortage.