For Lovers Who Hesitate⠀🪐⠀LHS
The three times Heeseung revealed his heart to you and the one time you actually noticed.
or ⠀Something about Heeseung saying he’s not good at talking about or showing his feelings, so he does it through small gestures that may seem mundane to an onlooker, yet hold a lot of meaning for him.
part 2 of 4
part 1⠀part 3
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pairing⠀non-idol!heeseung x reader
wc⠀2.3k
contains⠀fluff, slow burn, friends to lovers ??, shy heeseung and oblivious reader
listen to ⠀jannabi - for lovers who hesitate
a/n⠀this one’s a bit self-indulgent … also, i noticed i have a very specific kind of heeseung in my head when writing this, so i really hope you can see him as i do because i really like this side of him ~ let me know if you’d like to be tagged in the remaining two parts ♡
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🍪⠀The Second Time
The air in the house was already buzzing with noise by the time you arrived.
Music thrummed low through the floorboards, something groovy and familiar. Following your friend down the hallway, you tried recalling the name of the current song but quickly gave up as it was drowned out by laughter. You silently thanked them for offering to hold this get-together at their house, as your neighbours would’ve been very displeased with you if your dainty apartment was this bustling.
Shoes were scattered near the door, jackets draped over the ottoman in the foyer after the coat rack had seemingly run out of space. Your jacket had joined the pile, the warm air inside the house a testament of how many people were currently lounging around the home. It was spring now, so your thin windbreaker wasn’t doing much to keep you warm, and yet it felt bothersome to wear around the house.
You hadn’t even rounded the corner to the living room fully as you were already pulled into a hug. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” There was no need to see her face - the waft of vanilla paired with her thick blond curls gave her identity away immediately. Giggling softly, you put your arms around your longtime friend. “It was quite spontaneous, I’m sorry.”
Just a few hours ago, you had no idea this get-together was even taking place. You were neatly folding your laundry as a text from Jay lit up your phone - you went to school together, after which he went off to study law at some university whose name you could never remember. He had finished his exams recently and decided to hold a small gathering with some fellow students to celebrate their hard work.
It was meant to be nothing major. Just some friends, good music, delicious food and possibly some silly card games. Though his message did read ‘Feel free to bring some friends along (as long as they’re cool),’ hence the house was now filled with plenty of people you couldn’t recognize.
In search of more familiar faces, you gazed around the room, opting for a kind smile and two-handed waves instead of hugs. “Come on, Mira is here, too!” The blonde girl pulled you along towards the kitchen, where you immediately spotted a few of your closer friends, causing you to let out a sigh of relief. You weren’t exactly extroverted, so if they hadn’t promised you to be here tonight you probably wouldn't have shown up.
Rounding the corner fully to step into the dining area, which was adjacent to the kitchen, your eyes fell on the side table sitting against the wall. Instead of the usual season-specific decorations, it was covered in heaps of snacks. Bowls of chips sat half-empty, bright packaging had been crinkled and torn open, candy scattered around by seemingly careless hands. Some sweets were left unopened, stacked up as neatly as possible, like someone had just put them there mere minutes ago.
You glanced at the colourful display once, instinctively, then looked away just as quickly before drifting into the open kitchen. It wasn’t disappointment so much as resignation, just quiet acceptance paired with the usual thought of ‘Good thing I ate before coming here.’
With all of your allergies and intolerances, you’d never been able to indulge in any snacks laying around at get-togethers or events. Sure, it was a hassle, yet you’ve gotten used to it over the years - so much so that your thoughts barely stayed with the plethora of sweets for more than two seconds.
You joined the group of familiar faces, leaning against the counter behind you as their animated chatter filled up your ears. For a moment though, you were more interested in scanning your surroundings some more rather than participating in their conversation about unfair workload distribution.
Thanks to the modern floorplan of the home, the kitchen opened up into the dining area, which in turn was separated from the much bigger living room only by a half wall. This left you with a perfect view of the hustle and bustle around the lower level. Sometimes, you envied your friend for living in such a lovely home - other times, you were thankful you didn’t have to pay their heating bills. You didn’t even want to know how expensive they must be.
From where you stood, you weren’t just left with a perfect view of the girls sifting through polaroids on the dining table, but also of a group of boys lounging on the large grey couch. It wasn’t very hard to miss them actually, as their laughter and antics filled the slightly stuffy air. You recognized some of them from school, like Jay and Jake … others you’d only met once, maybe twice. Your gaze flickered over their bright faces before settling on another familiar person amidst the group, Heeseung.
He was sprawled out across the far end of the sofa, legs stretched out as much as possible with the low coffee table sitting in the middle of the seating area. Leaning into the backrest, he was enthusiastically clapping his hands while laughing at something - probably one of Jake’s silly jokes as the younger boy was gesturing wildly next to Heeseung.
It took him a bit to catch himself, moving to sit up a little straighter. He leaned his elbows on his knees as his gaze jumped from one friend to another. They seemed to be playing some kind of game, each of them saying something before moving onto the person to their right. There was no way for you to make out what they were going on and on about, so you quickly abandoned your curiosity about their game, your gaze refocusing on Heeseung.
You kept your eyes on him for a second longer than you meant to.
There was something so effortless about the way he took up space - natural, confident, loose. He was always like this, especially around his friends. Animated, silly in a way that never crossed into overwhelming, choosing intriguing giggles over loud roars when his energy peaked.
The sound of your name pulled you out of your thoughts, your gaze darting around the faces in front of you like they could spell out the question someone must’ve just asked you. “Huh?”
“I was asking about your part time job. Don’t you usually work on Saturdays?” Your eyes settled on Hannah, a rather short girl from your language course whom you’ve quickly formed a friendly bond with. “Oh, I changed my shift with my colleague. I’m working on Sunday this week instead.” You explained briefly.
The chat stayed on the topic of everyone’s Saturday plans for a while. Understandably - it was a Friday evening and, as far as you understood, this was an open-end get-together. You mentally thanked your past self for switching shifts with your colleague, as you could not imagine yourself up and ready to function at 8am tomorrow.
Your eyes drifted back over to the living room, searching for nothing in particular yet instantly noticing a missing presence in the room. The spot that Heeseung had lounged in mere seconds ago was now taken by a much younger guy you had only ever seen in passing. Scanning the room briefly, you expected to spot the boy you were mustering earlier somewhere nearby - on the other couch, maybe, or by the now open window. However, you quickly abandoned your search after being unable to catch sight of him.
You didn’t even know why you were looking for him, anyway.
A voice cut in beside you, and you shook off the thoughts occupying your mind, letting yourself drift into your friends’ animated conversation. Mira was mid-sentence, something about her cats’ catastrophic first vet visit last week. You hadn’t caught the beginning of the story, but her eager gestures drew you in nonetheless. Others continued to chime in, the noise swelling and overlapping voices filling the space between thoughts.
The conversation evolved from funny pet stories over current diseases going around to how each dog owner in your circle had been keeping their little ones warm throughout the winter. You didn’t have any pets yourself, but you were more than willing to react to your friends’ happenings and admire their furry friends. Maybe you should look into adopting a cat sometime soon.
“No, really - look! Isn’t she just adorable?” Hannah, who had gotten her puppy only a few months ago, turned her phone screen towards the group.
You leaned in as well, turning slightly to your right to peek at the device. Standing back up straight, you were about to comment on how cute her pet looked in her fluffy yellow sweater when a familiar figure suddenly appeared in your field of view.
Heeseung stood to your left, barely two steps away, eyeing you with his head tilted slightly, like he was debating whether or not to pull you out of your conversation. For a moment, your gaze flickered between your friends and his figure, quickly deeming him too intriguing to ignore for the sake of keeping up with your group’s exchange. Your interest was painted onto your face, eyebrows raised and chin slightly lifted as you mustered the tall boy.
You didn't even hear him approach over the upbeat music that was floating around the house. He stood there, his hair slightly dishevelled from whatever escapades he was just up to. As always, his posture remained relaxed with a veil of confidence, one hand behind his back, the other scratching his nose as his eye movement mirrored yours - fluttering over to his friends on the couch before finding you again.
Noticing your eyes on him, he shot you an almost sheepish look that disappeared prior to you even really noticing it, before taking a step closer to you. He kept about an arm's length of distance between your bodies, the same distance he always seemed to leave whenever he stood next to you. Like a higher force had told him that that was where he shall stand.
He now not only stood close enough for you to hear his voice over the noise surrounding you, but also close enough for the scent of his cologne to reach your nose. With your eyebrows still raised, you expected him to open his mouth, but he didn’t say a word. Instead, he lifted his arm that was previously hidden behind his back, holding three smaller bags of sweets out in front of him.
You blinked, surprised, as you eyed the coloured packages half-heartedly. A breath caught in your throat; an apology, an explanation already forming in your head. “ Oh. I–,” you started, lifting your eyes to Heeseung’s face. Your voice drifted off slightly at the sight of the warm yet expectant look on his features.
You were about to tell him off, already dreading the disappointed look on his face - or worse, the quiet frown he carries whenever something doesn’t quite go his way - when his voice interrupted your busy thoughts. “You can eat these,” he said gently, tone certain and steady, carrying the same warmth it always did when he spoke to you, “Don’t worry.”
The boy pursed his lips, his eyebrows raising now as he lifted the coloured bags a few inches higher. You looked down, observing the snacks he was trying to hand you. The packaging was all too familiar, brands you knew and always had stocked in your kitchen cupboard. The kinds you didn’t have to scrutinize or second-guess anymore.
As you stood there, slightly dumbfounded and with a million questions in your mind, your chest felt strangely tight. Like something had settled there without asking for permission, shoved aside whatever feelings were holding your heart captive before, and started spreading warmth throughout your body - the kind that made you feel seen without quite knowing why.
“Ah,” you said quietly, more to yourself than to Heeseung. A beat later, you added “Thank you.” A grateful yet timid smile appeared on your face as you looked up at the person across from you. Knowing someone went out of their way to make you feel more welcome, more comfortable, always left a bitter feeling in your mouth as much as it moved your heart.
As your eyes met Heeseung’s brown orbs again, you searched for any sign of bother, some kind of glimmer showing any discomfort. But he just smiled at you, unassuming, like he hadn’t just done something that mattered so much to you. His eyes held a content shimmer, almost as if handing you these bags of sweets was his one and only mission today.
He was always so kind, too kind for his own good, really. His peers must be really grateful to have such a thoughtful and selfless friend.
Your hands reached up, taking a hold of the three packages and slowly bringing them closer to your body. With too many thoughts in your head to try and decipher his emotions any further, you observed him straighten up slightly before taking a small step back.
He didn’t linger. Maybe a second or two to ensure the weight of the candy bags was fully out of his grasp. When you were about to ask him how he knew about your allergies, he was already halfway out of the kitchen, hand dragging along the edge of the countertop before finding its rightful place in his jean pocket.
Judging by the dazed look on your face, he assumed you hadn’t noticed him earlier.
How he had lingered by the snack table for what must’ve been ten minutes.
How he had picked up one bag after another, flipping them over, eyes narrowing slightly as he read each label carefully. Even the fine print. How he’d put some packages back, checked others again - once, twice - until he was sure.
But maybe it will come up in your next conversation.
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💌⠀@akaania @en-chantedtomeetyou
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